Imprint_2009-03-06_v31_i29

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Impr int The university of Waterloo’s official student newspaper

Friday, March 6, 2009

imprint . uwaterloo . ca

vol 31, no 29

Dodging debt —taking advantage of your credit card Columnist Ivan Merrow shows you how, page 12

Let’s talk about wild witty winsome wonderful weighty wise worldly wicked wily willful women The Vagina Monologues was held this year in the Bombshelter, as part of International Women’s Week. For more on these events, see pages 11 and 14.

Swim wins, hoop heights

Grad gains

Warriors excel in national swimming competition, men’s basketball post-season. — See page 23 for details

Ignace Moya’s enzyme research in profile. — See page 20

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News

Imprint, Friday, March 6, 2009 news@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Mark Zammit

Artist and undergraduate student, Joyce Hsu, left, along with fellow exhibitors Stephanie Lipp, centre, and Joanna Seville, right, show artwork that they had on display in the SLC on March 2. The artists were offering their work to SLC patrons in exchange for “anything” they offered.

will return next week

Crime on Campus

Art sale exhibits kindness Fine arts student trades “artwork” for anything, with positive results Tina Ironstone staff reporter

A

n undergraduate student in fine arts held a unique art sale on Monday, March 2. Joyce Hsu, along with fellow artists Stephanie Lipp and Joanna Seville, offered their original pieces in exchange for “anything” passer-bys would offer them. and they were pleasantly surprised by the results. In an interview with Imprint Hsu shares her opinions on the day’s event and the reactions her exhibit from the campus community. What inspired Monday’s event? Is this the first of its kind?

What inspired the piece was the notion of social sculpture and the practise of service and relational aesthetics. Because I am completely captivated by public art, I’ve decided to explore this subject for my fine arts graduating piece. But what really shaped this performance was a visit to a local arts shop in Boston called “Magpie: Shiny things for your nest.” It was a store filled with the neatest gifts, items and artworks. I wanted to buy nearly everything in the store, but the only thing stopping me was the prices. Sadly, I settled for the cheap 50 cent buttons, which broke shortly after I pinned it to my bag. To the average Joe, this purchase would have seemed silly, but coming from an art background I was more than happy to support another artist, even if the work couldn’t last 10 minutes on my bag. It was then that I became interested in the perceived value of art, and how different experiences and education dictates its worth. This performance is the first of its kind for me, but not for the art world. There are several different pieces that touch on the subject of the perceived value of art,and although these pieces aren’t exactly the same as my project, I believe it would be wrong if I claimed my project to be unique. However I would like to note that this performance (in

terms of trading art for random items) is the first among the UW graduating fine arts pieces, but hopefully it will not be the last. What do you expect to come from this?

I wanted, in the end, to have a collection of interesting objects and delightful responses, but I knew that was too ideal. I honestly expected people to scoff and brutalize my project. Gathering from my past experiences and research I’ve done on perfomance art, it seems that the mass public has a tendency to be cruel and ruthless, knowing that they do not have to face any consequences. For example, “Rythm 0” was a performance done by Marina Abramović, testing the limits of the relationship between performer and audience. She placed 72 different objects on a table and for 6 hours invited people to do anything to her body. Amongst the objects included feathers, a whip, a knife and the notorious gun with a single bullet. What she discovered was that “if you leave decision to the public, you can be killed.” During the performance, people cut her clothes off, stuck rose thorns in her stomach and even aimed the gun to her head. I mentally and physically prepared myself for the worst. I expected people to take advantage of my project, trading art for a punch in the face, used napkins, air, and even stool samples (not human, hopefully). But I was pleasantly surprised. How did the event go? How did you expect it to turn out?

The performance could not be more perfect. The turn out was great, despite the last minute advertising and the people I met truly renewed my faith in humanity. The fact that people were so generous and kind about my project made it so easy for me to let go of my artworks. I initially planned for this event to go on until 7pm, but by 3:30, most of the artwork was gone. There were only a handful of prints left, and since the copies and originals of

these prints had already been traded off, I decided it was for the best to call it a day. I didn’t expect a large crowd, but I am glad I was wrong. What would you like people to know about the show?

We only experienced one negative encounter, and unfortunately I was in the bathroom. My friend recounted that a certain gentleman sarcastically exclaimed that we were trading art for “anything”. He then proceeded to ask my friend whether he could finish her sudoku for art. Since she was uncomfortable in accepting that offer, as this was not her project, she politely turned him down. To the gentleman that wanted to finish my friend’s sudoku for an artwork: I would have accepted it. I am sorry that I was away when you came. Regardless, thank you for your input. There was another encounter that I would like to share: A young man came up to us and exclaimed that he didn’t have anything to offer, but that he would come back with something worthy to trade. I don’t know whether it was the way he said it or how sincere he seemed to me, but I urged him to write something down instead, since I was afraid that everything would be gone by the time he got back. He went his way, and eventually came back with a piece of paper entitled “My dilemma with art.” It was the sweetest thing I’ve read on the subject of art. I would like to share an excerpt of it: “Is it absolute? Is the conscious emotional experience the artist feels creating the same feeling I have observing? If so, then I feel warm and comforted knowing I can know an individual on a level that words can only approximate. I hope this is the way it is!” To the young man who wrote this, that is the way it is. Knowing that you can feel this way because of art is the reason we create it. tironstone@imprint.uwaterloo.ca


4

News

Katrina Massey reporter

Ryan Webb assistant news editor

Sudanese President indicted for crimes in Darfur region

THE HAGUE, Netherlands The International Criminal Court (ICC) issued an arrest warrant on March 4 against Sudanese President Omar Hassan al-Bashir for what the court alleges was his direct oversight of atrocities in the Darfur region of Africa. The indictment lists seven charges stemming from an apparent policy of eliminating anti-government rebels and civilians who supported them. The charges against al-Bashir include five counts of crimes against humanity for murder, extermination, torture, rape, and forcible transfer; and two charges of war crimes for targeting civil-

Imprint, Friday, March 6, 2009

ians and pillaging. The prosecutor also sought a charge of genocide, but the judges claimed there were insufficient grounds to prove that charge. The cycle of violence began when rebels of the Sudan Liberation Army (SLA) took up arms against the Arab-controlled central government. In retaliation, according to several humanitarian organizations, authorities and independent Sudanese militia forces went from village to village in the region, killing, raping, and torturing civilians. International observers have reported in the past that over 300,000 people have been killed in the region since 2003. In addition, an estimated 2.7 million people have been displaced as well. The indictment itself does not list specific numbers of causalities. The ICC is the world’s first permanent court for prosecuting individuals for war crimes, genocide and crimes against humanity. It operates independently from, but

has a special relationship with, the United Nations. The warrant for al-Bashir is the first one that the court has issued against a sitting head of state since the Court was created in 2002. It calls arresting the Sudanese president necessary to ensure that “he will not continue with commission of the” crimes he is charged with. The ICC has no power to make arrests; it leaves the responsibility of executing warrants with the national government or the international community. This poses a problem for bringing al-Bashir into custody because he remains firmly in control of Sudan’s government. After the warrant was released, a spokesperson for the president dismissed the indictment as a “mechanism of neocolonist policy” and the country’s Minister of Information and Communication called the ICC a “white man’s tribunal.” Other states have not yet indicated they will seek to execute an arrest of al-Bashir, and,

according to the Financial Times, Sudan’s Foreign Ministry indicated that he plans to continue attending international summits, including one in Qatar later this month. The warrant comes despite concerns from China’s Foreign Ministry that that the warrant could spark further violence and further destabalize the war-torn region. Hundreds of al-Bashir’s supporters gathered in the Sudanese city of Khartoum following the announcement, and violence has already spiked dramatically since the charges were filed last July. Hours after the news was released, Sudan’s government revoked the licenses of six foreign aid agencies, effectively limiting humanitarian aid in the Darfur region. Furthermore, Sudanese officials are urging all aid workers to leave certain areas, warning that they may become targets of violence there. — With files from CNN, Financial Times, Associated Press and Reuters

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Attack on Sri Lankan national cricket team leaves seven dead

LAHORE, Pakistan An attack conducted by masked gunmen against a bus carrying the Sri Lankan national cricket team has left six Pakistani police officers and one bus driver dead. The attack, which took place on March 3, also wounded 15 people including seven players, an assistant coach and an umpire. The Sri Lankan team was in Pakistan for a tournament and was on their way to a test match against Pakistan when the attack occurred 100 metres from the stadium. Two of the team members were sent to the hospital but were later released. Sri Lankan player Tharanga Paranavitana had a bullet-graze wound on his chest, and Thila Samaraweera suffered from a bullet wound in his thigh. None were seriously wounded. Pakistani police indicate that the attack was conducted by at least 12 gunmen, who used a rocket propelled grenade to create a distraction before they opened fire on the convoy. None of the 12 attackers were killed in the 15-minute gun battle. Pakistani politician and former cricket captain Imran Khan called the incident “one of the worst security failures in Pakistan...” Officials conclude that the attack was sophisticated because of the use of a diversion as well as multiple weapon types. Others are claiming similarities between this attack and the Mumbai attacks in India that occurred last November and were blamed on Islamist militants. Both attacks consisted of multiple gunmen that used explosives and rifles, and both carried food in backpacks. Authoritites are also investigating potentitions to AlQaeda and the Taliban. Sri Lankan team member Kumar Sangakkara said that the players owed their lives to their bus driver, who kept pushing through the turmoil, refusing to stop the bus. Sri Lanka’s PresidentMahinda Rajapakse, ordered the players to return to Colombo immediately and sent their foreign minister to help with the evacuation. In light of this incident, the International Cricket Council is considering moving the 2011 Cricket World Cup from Pakistan and said it was unlikely that international cricket would be played in the country in the future. Many cricket teams already choose not to play in Pakistan because of security concerns. — With files from BBC, Financial Times and The Globe and Mail

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News

Imprint, Friday, March 6, 2009

Keriece Harris reporter

McMaster student disappears without a trace

20-year old Jeff Renaud, a former resident of the Windsor area, has been missing since January 26. Reports claim that during the fall months and into the winter appeared to be a normal third year Engineering student at Hamilton’s McMaster University. He went to classes and talked about grades, but the truth is that Renaud was not a university student. In fact, he had not re-enrolled since the previous spring, the end of his second year, because he had failed out of school. So great was his deception that not even his family, friends, or roommates knew that he was not enrolled in school until the police had told them. Authorities do not suspect foul play. However, they are concerned about Renaud’s state of mind considering the extent of the realities he hid from friends and family. It is confirmed that Renaud had secretly put some clothes in a backpack and walked out of the house, leaving his laptop and cellphone on the desk in his room. He then withdrew a few hundred dollars from the bank, bought a ticket for a GO bus to Toronto, and disappeared. Matthew Bradbury, a childhood friend and roommate of Renaud, describes him, in the National Post, as “always a good student.” But it is noted in The Spectator that “The university’s statistics show that about one in four first-year engineering students don’t make it to second year for a variety of reasons that include

transfers to other faculties or schools, dropping out for personal or financial reasons, and failing.” His family, including two brothers and his mother, Christine Renaud, are engaged in an intensive search, along with police, for the bright and popular hockey player across Canada. They have been putting up posters and making phone calls, hoping to hear that he is alive and healthy. — With files from The National Post and The Spectator Blue Chairs build a bridge to accessibility

On March 5, Ontario Undergraduate Student Alliances’ (OUSA) 2009 Campaign was launched at universities across Canada including Waterloo, Wilfred Laurier, Brock, Western, Windsor, Queen’s and McMaster. Now in it’s second year OUSA continues to raise awareness about the need to increase access to postsecondary education in Ontario. The Blue Chair Campaign, titled by the OUSA , is a simultaneous party at each school to raise funds that will be donated to programs dedicated to improving access in each of the communities. The OUSA recognizes the benefits of a post-secondary education and that many of those deserving of a post-secondary education will face barriers such as finance, culture, lack of information, geography and social factors. In recognition of these challenges, previously mentioned campuses will be filled with empty blue chairs aimed at creating awareness, raising funds and taking action at reducing

barriers to post-secondary education. The empty Blue Chairs symbolize the lost potential for our province when access is restricted. “This campaign will provide students and community members with the opportunity to become directly involved in our fund raising event. Our aim is to call attention to the need for increased success, and expanded accessibility, for students who face barriers to higher education,” said Trevor Mayoh, president of the Ontario Undergraduate Student Alliance. — With files from The Gazette Ottawa universities ban Israeli Apartheid Week poster

Only weeks apart, Carleton University and the University of Ottawa (UofO) banned a poster by political cartoonist Carlos Latuff depicting a helicopter labeled “Israel” firing a missile at a teddy bear-holding toddler labeled “Gaza.” They claim that this Israel Apartheid Week (IAW) poster was banned because it included an image that was “inflammatory and capable of inciting confrontation.” Carleton, the first to ban the poster, removed the posters from the campus under the orders of their equity services because they “could incite infringements of the Ontario Human Rights Code,” said Carleton spokesperson Lin Moody in the Canadian Jewish News. Moody continued to clarify that IAW events had not been prohibited, but the posters had to be removed because they didn’t have the necessary approval to be displayed.

In days following the ban, Carleton’s provost and Vice-President Academic, Feridun Hamdullahpur, sent a letter to the entire university community calling the posters “hurtful and discriminatory.” He then added that if anyone violates the school’s policies, they would be subject to sanctions under these rules, and “students can be withdrawn from their studies indefinitely.” Two weeks later, U of O followed Carleton’s lead. U of O banned the same poster. They issued a statement that said “the administration has the right and the responsibility to ensure that all posters comply with the posting regulations before they are displayed on a bulletin board owned by the university.” In fact, Andrée Dumulon, U of O’s director of communications, said the poster should not have been approved in the first place. However unlike Carleton , The Student Federation of the University of Ottawa (SFUO), which represents U of O’s undergraduate students, has approved the posters, and currently has them displayed under their supervision in the Unicentre student union building. While a new set of posters with a different image and more information about IAW events have been approved by U of O and will be displayed across campus, there is still a desire to hear a better reason from the U of O as to the removal of the first poster. The controversial IAW kicked off this Monday and runs all this week at the three major Toronto universities — Toronto, Ryerson and York. — With files from Toronto Sun, Canadian Jewish News and The Excalibur

5

York University facing deep budget cuts after decline in applications

In an address to York University’s Senate, York President Mamdouh Shoukri announced on February 26 that the university would be making deep budget cuts, and placed the blame on the current economic recession. Shoukri indicated that operating grants from the province as well as donations through the endowment had “dwindled.” “Cuts totaling more than $10 million” will be required, York’s VP of Finance, Gary Brewer, told The Excalibur. According to The Excalibur, the recent strike by most of its full-time faculty cost the university millions of dollars directly. Furthermore, it likely played a significant role in the major drop-off in enrollment numbers for the Fall 2009 semester. Applications have dropped by ten per cent, while first-choice applications are down 15 per cent. According to Brewer, “it’s fair to say that the declining number of applications was largely driven by the fact that the university was on strike.” — With files from The Excalibur news@imprint.uawaterloo.ca

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Opinion

Imprint, Friday, March 6, 2009 opinion@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

A place for twitter?

Friday, February 27, 2009 Vol. 31, No. 28

editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Student Life Centre, Room 1116 University of Waterloo Waterloo, Ontario N2L 3G1 P: 519.888.4048 F: 519.884.7800 http://imprint.uwaterloo.ca Editor-in-chief, Maggie Clark editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Advertising & Production Manager, Laurie Tigert-Dumas ads@imprint.uwaterloo.ca General Manager, Catherine Bolger cbolger@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Ad Assistant, vacant Sales Assisstant, vacant Systems Admin. Dan Agar Distribution, Garrett Saunders Distribution, Sherif Soliman Interns, Julia Gelfand, Brandon Rampelt Volunteer co-ordinator, Dinh Nguyen Board of Directors board@imprint.uwaterloo.ca President, Sherif Soliman president@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Vice-president, Vacant vp@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Treasurer, Lu Jiang treasurer@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Secretary, Vanessa Pinelli secretary@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Staff liaison, Peter Trinh liaison@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Production Staff Peter Trinh, Andrew Dodds, Steven R. McEvoy, Katrina Massey, Rosalind Gunn, Alicia Mah, Bogdan Petrescu, Shirwan Sumano, Rachel McNeil, Erin Thompson, Keriece Harris, Kaitlin Huckabone, Paul Collier, E Aboyeji Graphics Team Euphemia Zhang, Paul Collier Imprint is the official student newspaper of the University of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. Imprint is a member of the Ontario Community Newspaper Association (OCNA). Editorial submissions may be considered for publication in any edition of Imprint. Imprint may also reproduce the material commercially in any format or medium as part of the newspaper database, Web site or any other product derived from the newspaper. Those submitting editorial content, including articles, letters, photos and graphics, will grant Imprint first publication rights of their submitted material, and as such, agree not to submit the same work to any other publication or group until such time as the material has been distributed in an issue of Imprint, or Imprint declares their intent not to publish the material. The full text of this agreement is available upon request. Imprint does not guarantee to publish articles, photographs, letters or advertising. Material may not be published, at the discretion of Imprint, if that material is deemed to be libelous or in contravention with Imprint’s policies with reference to our code of ethics and journalistic standards. Imprint is published every Friday during fall and winter terms, and every second Friday during the spring term. Imprint reserves the right to screen, edit and refuse advertising. One copy per customer. Imprint ISSN 0706-7380. Imprint CDN Pub Mail Product Sales Agreement no. 40065122. Next staff meeting: Monday, March 9 12:30 p.m. Next board of directors meeting: Friday, March 6 2:30 p.m.

adrienne raw

L

ittle in life is more humbling than being crippled, however temporarily, by illness. One day, you’re giddy and invigorated, exulting in the resilience of youth; the next you’re making concession after concession to compensate for your sudden lethargy, and pain. Worse still is when you know you have to run a production night — 24-hour affairs here at Imprint! — and your malady shows no signs of letting up. I hate to sound like an oldtimer, but I do remember a time when I could accomplish more while sick; now, when my body needs rest, it needs rest, which is why, as much as I tried to coordinate Imprint content outside the office earlier this week, I found my body preferred sleep

I was sick. Certainly, there is some pragmatism in this (these messages explained to friends and colleagues why I was out of contact range for the day), but I have to confess to some measure of self-pity, too: I wanted and expected some measure of consolation for my condition. I know I’m not alone: we all belong to a social context where constant status updates have become the norm. It started with instant messaging nicknames and blog status lines, then hopped to Facebook, and finally took root in Twitter. And for some time now I’ve been grappling with an instinctive aversion to the latter, Twitter — which I know seems borderline-hypocritical, considering that I already use mini-updates on other applications, but truly,

For all that our cultural climate is infatuated with the cheap, easy thrill of an update post, at the end of the day, whether it be in the form of an IM conversation, an email, a blog thread, or thought-provoking article, we all hunger for more substantial fare.

to staring at a computer screen, so I reluctantly had to push back Crime on Campus’s third edition until next week — when I can better deliver on the thoroughness of content I promised in last week’s editorial note. But despite the compromises I had to make on account of illness, what strikes me in hindsight were the compromises I didn’t make: specifically, before hunkering down to sleep off my fever, I just had to let everyone know, through Facebook and on my instant messaging system, that

Editorial Staff Assistant Editor, Dinh Nguyen Head Reporter, Vacant Lead Proofreader, Alicia Boers Cover Editor, Veronika Zaretsky News Editor, Vacant News Assistant, Ryan Webb Opinion Editor, Adrienne Raw Opinion Assistant, Christine Nanteza Features Editor, Vacant Features Assistant, Mark Zammit Arts & Entertainment Editor, Tina Ironstone Arts & Entertainment Assistant, Vacant Science & Tech Editor, Rajul Saleh Science & Tech Assistant, Vacant Sports & Living Editor, Caitlin McIntyre Sports & Living Assistant, Vacant Photo Editor, Amy LeBlanc Photo Assistant, Shannon Purves Graphics Editor, Vacant Graphics Assistant, Armel Chesnais Web Administrator, Arianna Villa Systems Administrator, Mohammad Jangda

Twitter marks a change in information-exchange like few before. A telling example of my issues with Twitter emerged at the Canadian University Press conference in January, when student journalists across the country were treated to talks by speakers across the media spectrum. CBC’s Susan Ormiston, correspondent for The National, took the stage near the end of the conference, and when she opened by telling us she’d been working in Afghanistan, journalists the room over perked up and took notice.

But instead of talking about her work in that region, Ormiston turned surprisingly to talk of CNN’s “Magic Wall,” CBC’s lowercost equivalent, and... you guessed it, Twitter. What followed felt surreal: a journalist of the “traditional” generation proving that she was down with new trends like Twitter, even as she spoke to a crowd of hip, new, up-andcoming journalists who generally were not fans of the application. The problem is, Twitter allows for the transfer of 140 characters per message, which makes for very short update posts — and in the world of journalism, this in turn means a reduction of causal relationships to the most stark, polemic terms. Now, new media journalists have found in the internet a bounty of applications and communication methods that open up public discourse, and allow for layers of nuance and commentary in stories that no static print page could ever hope to match. But Twitter, like the 200-word web update before it, does not advance this end. Twitter has its uses, to be sure, but I think younger journalists are wise to be cautious of the application overstepping its bounds — and worse, I think a fear of being “out of step” with new technological trends allows a lot of old-media journalists to suppress some journalistic principles that should, in fact, be timeless. By virtue of being over-saturated with new technology, I think a lot of people in our generation are inured to connecting “new” with “superior:” because we’re exposed to so much that is new on a so regular a basis, we’ve gained a more intuitive understanding of which tools to use when, and which tools to avoid, despite their newness. The same, I suspect, is not always true with our predecessors, which is why journalists who would never question the need for depth in their reports on Afghanistan instead

get excited about teaching Peter Mansbridge how to use a tool that, in a journalism setting, does more to condition simplistic over nuanced debates. Twitter does have its uses. As the ultimate user-update application, the site has allowed for the accumulation of some fairly interesting meta-data: there’s a site following the number of people who’ve twittered (or tweeted, or chirped) that they were dumped that day, and another that charts the general ebb and flow of human emotion across the world. Twitter, by virtue of its limited characters, encourages the clever crunching of emotion into itty-bitty sound-bites: and this creates a powerful sense of global community, which one feeds into with minimal personal effort. But this sense of connection is terribly superficial — fostered at best in rapid-fire, back-and-forth conversations, such as were seen in the recent hunt for a missing snowboarder in the Alps (though officials deny that Twitter had any role in the failed rescue). And this is why I still prefer Facebook, blogs, or IM: at least with these sources, the status update is the beginning of a public conversation that can then take many different forms. The same is true with journalism. Is there a place for Twitter feeds? Absolutely: play-by-plays of easily closed polls during election season, or sports reporting between innings, periods, and matches, could be enhanced by such a service. But as the need for more than raw statistics emerges — for instance, when the human element needs to be relayed — Twitter’s usefulness falls away. For all that our cultural climate is infatuated with the cheap, easy thrill of an update post, at the end of the day, whether it be in the form of an IM conversation, an email, a blog thread, or thoughtprovoking article, we all hunger for more substantial fare.


Opinion

Imprint, Friday, March 6, 2009

7

Booze = Booty? nbest@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Why do singles go to bars to meet people?

“I

f I approach you to say hi, converse, or flirt with you, almost anywhere I’m a creep and you have no desire. But, if you’re drunk and dressed like a slut and I’m nice and drunk too, that’s the ideal start to any relationship. What the fuck?” I found this comment on a new blog site for UW students called “OMG UW” (which can be found at www.omguw.blogspot. com). As much as I love reading the rants and raves of students with complete anonymity, I think this comment hits the nail on the head when it comes to university dating. Whoever that person was, I want to thank them for saying something brutally honest about the dating scene here at UW; there isn’t one. As a girl who has been to almost all of the social establishments in this town, I must agree that finding someone to date is particularly hard, and finding someone with whom I’d want to seek a relationship at a bar is nearly impossible. Would I have pursued Internet dating if it wasn’t? Why do singles go to bars to meet people? I know that for most of my friends, going out to bars is a chance to enjoy one other’s company. However, the person who wrote the aforementioned comment has clearly experienced the type of girl who only goes to bars to hook up. I could list the many reasons why

bars aren’t the ideal place to meet someone, but instead I will stress the number one reason why girls should never go to a bar to meet a guy; guys don’t go to bars to find a girlfriend. If a guy is going to a bar to meet girls, it’s not to build a relationship – it’s to hook up. Why do these guys keep doing this? Because it works. Girls, more often than ever, are abandoning their inhibitions about strangers and going home with guys they meet at bars. Need proof ? Walk into Caesar Martini’s on a busy night. The girls look amazingly beautiful on the outside, but once they get inside, all you see are their asses hanging out, tongues-to-tongues, and males rubbing their denim cocks all over these girls. It’s hard to even get to the bathroom without a guy harassing you on your way there. I find it pretty ridiculous that the girls who frequent Caesar’s put up with this behaviour, let alone provoke it. If you smile at a guy after he unexpectedly grabs your ass, then you can’t claim that you didn’t see the denim cock coming your way in the near future. You aren’t going to find nice, kind, loyal men hovering around a group of girls on the dancefloor, so why bother with them? Part of me thinks it has to do with girls looking for that confidence boost when a guy can’t resist telling you what he wants to do to your ass once he

gets you alone. If you are looking for some compliments, do so at home on the Internet, on a dating site where you don’t have to be harassed. It will also save you a lot of money. Then again, going to a “high class” bar has social status linked to it. Unfortunately, even though it shouldn’t, Internet dating is still stigmatized. Until there is a stigma on meeting your steady at the bar, that’s where the lonely girls will go, and the uninformed guys will follow. Booze lowers the inhibitions of the self-conscious and the lonely. Ladies, if you’re lonely and need some compliments and attention, look around you in the classrooms and in the cafes, and never turn down an invitation to something. Guys, if you’re looking for a sweet girl, go to the library and pick up someone’s books for them (and don’t forget to hold doors). There are great people at this school destined to meet each other. They just don’t know where to find each other. My bet is that it is hardly ever at the bar.

EUPHEMIA ZHANG


Opinion

Imprint, Friday, March 6, 2009

Out of the mouths of crying children

I

n the children’s room of the Genocide Memorial Centre in Kigali, 14 windows hold up 14 children’s lives — and their eventual deaths as an example of evil’s might. The window exhibit represents thousands of children whose lives were cruelly cut short by hate. Each window has the face of a child killed during the genocide and under it a plaque detailing biographical information, how they died, and their last words. For me, one of these 14 displays stands out. It tells the story of a 10-year-old boy, David. Like most African boys, he loved soccer, and when he grew up, he wanted to be a doctor. He had been tortured to death. His last words: “the UN will come for us.” I cried when I read his story, and not just because I thought it was horrible that he had to die because a few old white men were busy debating whether genocide was a word or not.

eaboyeji@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

I cried because I remembered that there was a point in time when I used to think like that — a point in my life when I thought the United Nations could solve all the world’s problems. In my childishness and naivety, I assumed, like many do today, that a UN resolution could solve everything. Send Kofi Annan with a bamboo stick and plenty of spittle to wherever there was trouble and, soon after, the opposing sides would kiss and make up. When I was eventually dissuaded from my strongly held but childish assumption, my emotional pain could only rival the heartbreak of a jilted lover because it had seemed to be the last hope for a peaceful world. I had only celebrated my third birthday when Rwanda’s flames reached their height. So you can understand that, at that time, world peace was far from my primary concern. Regular fights with — sorry, beatings by — my elder brother were my only ideas of war;

baby milk and feeding bottle my idea of peace. I was not unfortunate enough to watch the world spurn Rwanda. Nevertheless, I was inducted into the terrifying politics of war and peace at what I would consider a tender age. Around the same age that David met his cruel death. It was 1999, and my country’s dictator of eight years had just died the year before by some divine act no one comprehended — at least not as of yet. We were about to become a democracy again after several years of junta rule. The country was even looking up economically; my father had a new job, we had moved to a new, big, and beautiful house, and my mother had begun to sell chicken parts from the shop at the front of our house. Things were so going so well that cable television became cheap enough that we could actually afford it. In the Democratic Republic of Congo, things were not going so well. The Second

Congo War had begun to heat up. Soon eight countries, 25 armed groups, and 5.4 million dead would define what is often called Africa’s World War, the second most deadly conflict after World War II. There were just a few problems. First, it happened a five-hour plane ride away from

intriguing narrative of government rebels, crying children and the United Nations. It’s true that not much of it made sense to me, an eight year old — even after I had been sufficiently educated during a tortuous questionand-answer session with my father the following evening.

I cried because I remembered that there was a point in time when I used to think like that — a point in my life when I thought the United Nations could solve all the world’s problems. In my childishness and naivety, I assumed, like many do today, that a UN resolution could solve everything.

me. Second, many kids my age could hardly be bothered to know where “the Congo” was — never mind caring what happened there. I saw it on CNN. I often liked to have the television turned on while I did my early morning chores. It made them more interesting, made me slow, and kept me awake. On this fateful day, by some miracle my elder sisters had not watched movies all night and so my dad’s CNN soirée from the previous day was still on the television. As I turned on the television, images of crying children came at me from thousands of miles away. An Anderson Cooper-like voice filled the room. Though it was far less colourful than cartoons (my TV pastime at the time) and did not look as fake or funny as, say, Jerry mistakenly shooting Tom, a similar bond tied me to this unusual report that might have bored any normal kid. I temporarily suspended my chores, captivated by this

But I held the firm conviction that no child should ever have to cry if their father or mother was not punishing them. From the question and answer sessions, I had garnered that the United Nations could help them. Father brought me printed pictures of people and locations in the United Nations from work the next day. I remember one with a lot of people in a beautiful room and one of an elderly black man who father said was the head. He told me the United Nations was the government of the world. I knew what my government could do, so I blithely imagined the UN to be the next best thing to God. Also, the other adults I spoke to seemed to say the same thing. From that time onwards, war meant three things to me; Congo, the United Nations, and CNN. “The UN could make all the world’s children stop crying,” I thought to myself.

8

Continued opposite

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Opinion

Imprint, Friday, March 6, 2009 11 years later, the war that inspired my trust in the United Nations still rages on and has recorded the world’s largest modern war casualty figures after the world wars. A perpetual record of disappointment and failure in similar situations has tempered my expectations of the United Nations and the powers behind it. With a higher education and age, the UN reduced in power in my eyes from the next biggest thing to God to a closet meeting of word-slinging diplomats. However, the fact that I was jilted and heartbroken did not mean that I was left totally hopeless. That I no longer believed the UN could make everything right did not mean that I would succumb to the destructive, realist mentality that the world was doomed to continuous conflict and there was nothing anyone, includingGod and the UN, could do about it. In the same period of 11 years, I had slowly begun to realize that people, not the UN, held the keys to peace. The only “super humans” who could stop all the children in the world from crying were people like you and me. These convictions were set in stone last summer when I worked for a summer camp program for immigrant children. The wonderful thing about this summer camp was that it was as if all the children in the world had come together to play, without the politics or fanfare often associated with such events. It was the Olympics without the opening ceremony, the Under 18 World Cup without the television cameras, or Arsenal without the pressure to win (or the consis-

tent losses). There were all sorts of children of all kind of colours and from all sorts of backgrounds: yellow, black, brown, white, Christian, Muslim, Hindu, rich, or poor. In fact, the only thing they had in common was their desire to come each day and have a wonderful time with the other kids. I am positive that they did. One of the things about this experience that intrigued me was how oblivious children were to the perceptions that we assume should ordinarily define them, the feuds we create for children even before they are even born. As I watched an Arab boyfriend “love it up” with his Jewish girlfriend in the park, a Hutu and a Tutsi become the best of friends, and a Serbian boy who could speak English look out for his Bosnian friend who was unable to do the same, my heart leapt for world peace. Because of these children who knew no hatred, children who were ethnicity-blind in their approach to life, I knew that world peace was possible — and the UN would have nothing to do with it. By the end of my experience at this summer camp, I realized that, for so long, we have failed at our attempts at world peace because we choose to ignore the fact that, often, crying children know no foes except their pain. Thus, unlike adults, they could not care less if it was their tribe’s worst enemy providing them panacea. Today, I am more convinced than ever that as long as we do our best to make sure that children — the world’s future — are not fed to hate’s frenzy, peace will come.

Imprint’s Final Word Coming next week Imprint’s final word on the Israel-Palestine conflict in the Middle East, with commentary from: • • • •

Israel On Campus, Students for Palestinian Rights, E Aboyeji, Imprint columnist, and you

If you would like to contribute, please email 300 words to letters@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

9


10

Opinion

Imprint, Friday, March 6, 2009

Letters Re: It will take more than a few light bulbs To the editor, There is a lot of talk about the environment and a lot of “green” propaganda, but no real action or change. People wear T-shirts with “green” logos on them; however, where and how were these T-shirts made? Were they not made in some sweatshop in China by exploited women and children? Are not the resources and energy used to make these shirts adding to the pollution and depletion of the world’s resources? I’m not suggesting that we run around naked, but I think we should consider the impact of our choices. “Green” is just becoming another fashion, and while it has brought some good fruits, I am afraid it will fade like the rest. 36 per cent of Canadian energy is used and wasted in factories and industrial settings; 29 per cent is used for transportation. Most energy wasted is to create products, deliver products, and dispose of products. So while everyone is telling us to buy in order to support the economy, STOP! You do not need another shirt. Spend your money on services instead: take a dance class, or go to the gym. Being green isn’t just talking about change; it’s being the change. And here I am writing about it. I am a pretty big hypocrite myself. Anezka Gocova Planning Re: Traffic troubles

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To the editor, Traffic problems are strangling our region. Over the past few years, highways and city streets have become more and more congested. Short-sightedness and an over-emphasis on moving cars as opposed to people has created a hamstrung and unhealthy environment. The goal of government should be a comprehensive and multi-pronged approach to moving people and goods. It is my opinion that Waterloo region should invest in a light rail transit system aimed at reducing the number of cars on the roads and increasing public transit use. Cities cannot simply continue to sprawl outward, building roads to accommodate growth. It is necessary to take measures now, in order to prepare for the future. Imagine Toronto today if it had not built its subway system decades ago. The Waterloo region is at a pivotal point in its life, and it’s time to improve our infrastructure in a meaningful way. It is not the time to take mediocre measures; the Waterloo region requires costly improvements, such as a light rail system, in order to make any meaningful change. It is time to stop wasting money and resources on conventional strategies; perhaps the so-called smart region should rethink how we get from point A to point B. Giuseppe Bartolo Planning, third year Re: It is better for children to live in rural areas To the editor, Children are living in a modern world because they can find computers and go on the Internet anywhere. While surfing the Internet, they can gain a wide variety of knowledge through photos, texts, and videos. However, a big city is not a good place for children to grow up. I agree that it is better for them to grow up in the countryside because they can develop their own personality and feel how nature is. Children always waste food when they cannot finish it or dislike it. If they live in the countryside, they have a chance to work on a farm and see the whole process of planting. Through this process, they would learn that the formation of food requires a lot of resources, such as sunlight, water, and time. It helps them gain a mindset to save food and develop the responsibility for taking care of something.

Children are too sheltered now because they have technology to help the regulation of temperature in summer and winter. They never know that their air conditioner or furnace pollutes the environment. The air quality in a big city is polluted, so there are more children that suffer from respiratory diseases. If they live in the countryside, they have fresh air, sunshine, and a natural life. Children should not rely on machines too much because they will not understand nature. In order to have children who will grow up healthy, I believe that living in the countryside benefits them by building up their characters in positive ways and maintaining physical health. Winsome Lee Planning, first year

Re: To all the Shaniqua haters I was glad I took Shaniqua’s aunty’s advice, and now I have turned a new leaf. I have donated all my hard disks containing my massive porn collection, and I’ve been busy meeting new people, though I’m still enjoying singledom. I just want to let the haters know that Shaniqua’s column was a satire meant to insinuate controversy, gibberish, and nonsense. If you people don’t get that, then you should take a course on sarcasm. I’m sure the Arts faculty has one. Also, being a mathie, I hate to say it, but mathNEWS is amateurish and their ivory tower is pretty lame. Iron Warrior (uggh!) or even Cord Weekly are better choices. Lonely Dog. Re: Letter to the Editor, Feb. 27: “Re: Ask Shaniqua” To the editor, I found the “Editor’s Note” at the end of Joseph Collins’ professional letter quite unprofessional. To me, his letter seemed to express genuine concern, something that should not be mocked, especially by the editor of the newspaper in which the letter appeared. Personally, I thought that Collins may have missed the exaggerated humour that Shaniqua’s column habitually exudes, though I do find it rather silly myself. Regardless, letters to the editor are intended to be a forum for readers to express their opinions, and who would want to do that knowing that they risk being publicly ridiculed, without even a chance for a rebuttal! Furthermore, the comments made only show the lack of professionalism of Imprint and the lack of respect they have for other campus publications. If it was intended as humour, it did not succeed. I, for one, am unimpressed. As for any comments you have in regards to my letter, as you said, “bring it.” Courtney Gosset Biology, fourth year


Opinion

Imprint, Friday, March 6, 2009

11

Community Editorial Crawling out of the bottle Ryan Regier respondent

Y

es, this is another article about bottled water. Wait! Don’t stop reading now! This isn’t like other articles you’ve read before. You know, the ones that say we might as well be clubbing baby seals every time we drink bottled water. This is a different look at bottled water completely. No, I am not going to tell you bottled water is good to drink or that it actually is good for the environment. You can get water from the tap and that plastic bottle wouldn’t have to be produced using fossil fuels and then take eternity to decompose in a landfill and… Sorry, I’ll get to my point. Compared to other beverage and food companies, bottled water companies are practically

saints. They have reduced the plastic in their bottles by 40 per cent, have environmentally efficient bottled factories, and support many environmental groups. Did you know that bottled water companies provide 50 per cent of the funding for our amazing curbside recycling program? Yeah, of course you knew that… While bottled water is bad for the environment, if you are looking at a vending machine and trying to

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choose between a Nestle bottled water and a Pepsi, take the bottled water. It’s healthier and better for the environment. Now that I have all the green hippies coming after me with pitchforks, let me clear one thing up: I’m in Environmental and Resource Studies at UW and no, I’m not a vegetarian and no I don’t have dreads. I am an environmentalist, and I care about the environment. But there are many bigger problems that need to be faced than bottled water. Bottled water companies are one of the most environmentally friendly companies out there, so cut them a break. I won’t tell you not to drink bottled water because then I might as well tell you not to drink Pepsi or not to consume anything that creates waste or pollution. What we do need to do is to reduce what we consume and always make the more environmentally friendly choice. However, if you want to buy something, you can get for free from the tap…go ahead.

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Features

Imprint, Friday, March, 2009 features@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Celerbrating Women

Mark Zammit reporter

Being a woman means a lot more than just having two X chromosomes. It defines a broad set of physical and mental characteristics which will undoubtedly attract fellow humans, as well as a spectrum of praise, recognition, and persecution. Women have withstood the trials of time, rising against their oppressors to fight for the rights and statuses of which they are more than worthy. So how do we commemorate these fabulous beings? With International Women’s Week, no less. Unlike Mother’s Day, which celebrates the traditional child-bearing and family-centric roles of a woman, International Women’s Day is a relatively recent affair, with roots dating back to the early 1900s. Around this time, in cities across the world, women began to organize themselves in protest against suffocating patriarchal rule. In 1909, the first National Women’s Day was celebrated in the United States of America. The smattering of protests and soapbox speeches became more choreographed, and by 1910 the International Conference of Working Women was formed in Copenhagen, Denmark. This coalition began the worldwide fight for women’s rights, leading to the adoption of International Women’s Day by many countries, some even declaring it an official holiday, the first of which was formally celebrated in 1911. However, that year also saw a terrible tragedy in a New

York City textile factory, where around 140 women were trapped in room ravaged by a fire. This disaster led activists to fight for better working conditions around the world. Between 1913 and 1917, the fight for equality continued with increased protests in Russia and Europe, and a declaration of March 8 as the official International Women’s Day. Rallies were held in Europe and North America to advocate peace over war, and solidarity for all humanity. Since then, the fight for rights has continued, with a gradual shift from solely developed countries and into developing nations. Today, the goal of this celebration is geared more towards the advancement and promotion of women as professionals and crucial contributers to society, and as a reminder of the practices of yesteryear, where equality was but a dream. As is customary at our great institution, several groups at the University of Waterloo are coming together to organize events which will mark the week of March 9 as International Women’s Week. This year’s theme -- Women and men united to end violence against women and girls. Spearheaded by the Women’s Centre, we can expect to see some very tasteful, fun, and informative happenings. Students will be able to take part in activities that are “tried, tested, and true. This year, we are taking it back to the basics” said FEDS VP Internal in an interview with Imprint. Among tea tastings and bust-castings (women only, I might add), we will be privy to discussions

with UW chaplain Reverend Megan CollingsMoore on the roles of women in the Church, and discussions on women in Islam with the Islamic Information Centre. There will be a film showing, courtesy of ACCKWA, the Aids Committee of Cambridge, Kitchener, and Waterloo, entitled “Women: In the Face of AIDS,” documenting the lives of HIVPositive women in Africa. As well, we can learn about the beautiful history of henna tattoos, sit in on the “Toy Time with Tynan” sex-toy party, and rejuvenate the spirit with a woman’s drum circle, presented by Aboriginal Services. In an interview with Imprint, Rianne Ranta, coordinator with the UW Women’s Centre, said that “The purpose of all these fun activities is to draw students’ awareness to the centre. We are very open and inviting; you shouldn’t be afraid to come up and spend some time with us.” On a more serious note, Ashley Kelly, another member of UW Women’s Centre, added that there “will also be serious events, holding true to the original goals of International Women’s Week.” — With files from InternationalWomensDay. com, the Stephen Lewis Foundation, and Status of Women Canada mzammit@uwaterloo.ca

For more International Women’s Week see page 14 and 15

International Women’s Week Intinerary Monday, March 9: 5:00PM — discussion on Women in Islam with the Islamic Information Centre 7:00PM — Tea Tasting / Tea Party in the Women’s Centre, SLC Tuesday, March 10: 2:30PM — Discussion with Reverend Megan Collings-Moore on Women in the Church 4:00PM — Bust-Casting in the Women’s Centre (women only) 7:00PM -- A History of Henna Wednesday, March 11: 2:30PM — Movie “Women: In the Face of AIDS” shown with ACCKWA in the Multipurpose Room, SLC 5:30PM — “Toy Time with Tynan” sex toy party 7:00PM — Bust-Casting (women only) Thursday, March 12: 5:30PM —Volunteer Appreciation Potluck Dinner 6:30PM — Women’s Drum Circle with Aboriginal Services

Double-edged plastic imerrow@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

C

redit cards: friendly or deadly? Almost everyone has at least one credit card, but what are they, how do they work and why does everyone have one? In some circles credit cards have a bad reputation for driving people into bankruptcy. In reality, credit cards are a good thing; it’s credit card debt that’s dangerous.

prove you for a loan without first seeing that you have a decent credit bureau rating. This magic number isn’t random – it is calculated using a complex algorithm that integrates facts, dates and patterns about the way you tend to repay (or not repay) your loans. Some of these factors include: how often you make payments on loans, how often

what credit card companies might advertise, $$ Despite all of the wonderful services they offer do not come

While working for a credit-card company during a previous co-op term, I learned a lot about the way credit cards work. I’d like to describe the entire system involved in detail, but this article can only be so long. Instead, I’d like to describe the double-edged nature of credit cards, or some of the positive and negative aspects of owning one. Even if you don’t have a credit card right now, read on, because someday you probably will. Up until now, if you have managed to avoid getting a credit card because you feel you can live without it, good for you. Borrowing money responsibly (and only when you have to) is a prudent rule to live by. However, if you don’t have a credit card you may never be able to buy a car, have your own business or own your own home. Sounds extreme right? Well, it’s mostly true. The most important benefit to you as a credit card holder is the opportunity it provides you to build up your credit bureau rating – a powerful three-digit number used to predict how likely you are to pay back your debts. Even if you are the richest, most principled person in Canada, not a single bank will ap-

$$

for free. Credit card companies exist to make a profit. They have only one way to make money...

you pay late, how much money you owe, and how long you’ve been borrowing money. That being said, if you have never borrowed money, you do not have a credit rating, and that can be a problem. Credit cards are one of the very first “loans” you are likely to be approved for (besides OSAP), making them an important tool you can use to establish an attractive credit history for yourself. Paying off a credit card on time every month is an easy way to open up big opportunities later on, including a mortgage on your first home, a business loan or a lease on a new car. The second most important benefit to owning a credit card is the whole mix of services credit card issuers provide as their “competitive offer.” Companies differentiate themselves by offering different cards with unique combinations of benefits, but a few services tend to come standard across all categories. Almost all credit cards have what’s called a “zeroliability” policy, meaning you are not responsible for purchases made using your credit card that you did not personally authorize. This makes a credit card less risky to carry than cash, because while stolen

cash is gone forever, fraudulent credit card purchases can be tracked down and refunded to you. Besides zero liability, many credit cards offer additional perks like loyalty rewards, purchase warranties, travel insurance, and payment opportunities that would otherwise be unavailable to you (like online shopping). Perhaps the most attractive service of all is that by using your credit card to make a purchase you don’t have to pay for what you buy until the end of each month. Taking advantage of these 21 days of grace is essentially free – unless you haven’t paid back what you borrowed in full by the end of your due date. Then the real costs of owning a credit card become a little more obvious. Despite what credit card companies might advertise, all of the wonderful services they offer do not come for free. Credit card companies exist to make a profit. They have only one way to make money, and that is to charge fees. All credit companies charge fees, but some charge more than others depending on the services they offer. High-service level credit cards often charge a yearly fee for access to all their services. “No annual fee” credit cards might not cost anything to own up front, but may charge fees for additional services like statement re-printing, insurance, convenience cheques or cash advances. These “additional” fees can make your credit card statement longer than expected, but they are never as expensive as the biggest cost of borrowing money: interest charges. To get a credit card you always have to sign a legal document called a cardholder agreement. In this agreement, the cardholder promises to pay for all their month’s purchases and fees, in full, by a specified monthly due date. If they make the deadline – but don’t pay 100per cent of what they owe – they are charged an additional percentage of the full amount they were supposed to pay. This fee is then added to your bill, and it is called interest.

For example, if I make $2000 of purchases and only pay for $1999.99 of it by my due date, I still can be charged interest on the full amount of $2000 – because I fundamentally broke my promise to pay the money I borrowed back in full. After that, the one cent I didn’t pay and my resulting interest charges both carry over to next month, when I’m again expected to pay in full. Interest fees are by far the most lucrative money-maker for credit card issuers because it is so easy to spend more than we can possibly pay off in one month. Annual interest rates do vary among cards – some are as high as 26 per cent, while others are closer to 11 per cent. The average credit card interest rate in Canada is 19.95 per cent, but because this value is an annual rate, no one is ever charged the full 19.95 per cent on one month’s bill – the percentage is spread out across the whole year. Even so, interest can add up to become a substantial amount of money, especially if you let your amount owing grow larger month after month. That is the real danger of owning credit cards – they can help drive personal debt completely out of control. Obviously the ideal plan is to spend responsibly, and always pay credit cards off in full to avoid paying interest altogether. It seems easy, but faced with temptation it is easier said than done. Hopefully that clears up a few mysteries about credit cards, including how they work, why they have a bad reputation and why so many people have them. If you are curious to know more, check out the Financial Consumer Agency of Canada (FCAC)’s website for some fantastic impartial information on credit cards – especially the spreadsheet comparing all the different “student” credit cards across Canada. Credit cards can be a great benefit when used responsibly, but they are risky and have a nasty reputation for a reason. Like everything else in life, enjoy responsibly, and always pay in full on time.


Features

Imprint, Friday, March 6, 2009

13

Celebrity counterparts yliu@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

I

f you have a sizable circle of Asian friends, you probably heard at least a few of them chattering about the Jay Chou concert that happened in Toronto last year. You probably also heard them bantering about Boa’s highly anticipated North American debut. The Asian entertainment industry has exploded in the last 25 years with the rise of several East Asian economies, such as Taiwan, Hong Kong, Singapore, South Korea, and Mainland China. Because of large Asian communities in places like Toronto, Vancouver, New York, San Francisco, LA, and Hawaii, many Asian entertainers have crossed over the pond and tried their luck in the Western showbiz world. Successful ones include actors such as Jackie Chan, Jet Li, Stephen Chow, Zhang Ziyi, and Chow Yun-Fat, who are now regular features in Hollywood movies. Asian superstar singers like Utada Hikaru and Boa have attempted North American debuts, although the former found limited success. In the future, this Western trickle of Asian stars will likely continue, especially as the Asian film, drama, and music markets continue to grow at a prodigious pace. Still, the American entertainment industry still continues to dominate global pop culture and influences all areas of the growing Asian entertainment industry. However, there are significant differences in how the two industries operate, including many practices in the Asian industry, which befuddle Westerners and vice-versa. Unlike most Western celebrities who manage their own careers, Asian celebrities are typically micromanaged by handlers from their respective talent agencies. In paricular, the industries in Japan and Korea are controlled by a handful of agencies whose close ties to television, movie and music producers make the celebrity industry very insular and close-knit. Aspiring talents typically join a talent agency in their teens and may spend several years “in training� as their agency ponders if that person has the right combination of charisma, look, and talent to become a profitable star for the company. If they do happen to debut, their agency will handle all aspects of their career for them, from promotion to arranging concerts, television appearances, music releases and more. Talents earn a salary from the company, which is typically a pittance in comparison to the salaries of Western superstars. However, unlike

Western movie and music stars, it is not considered gaudy or “selling out� for celebrities to appear in TV commercials and other ads or promotional campaigns. In fact, it’s considered a sign of prestige to be hired as a corporate spokesperson; most celebrities supplement their meager (by comparison) company salary through commercials and endorsements. The Asian entertainment industry is dominated by “idol� culture. Talent and ability generally take a back seat to marketability. Idols are cranked out by the talent agencies and expected to be all-purpose celebrities in the vein of boy and girl pop groups that once dominated mainstream Western music in the late 90s. Imagine if the Backstreet Boys not only sang, but acted in movies, dramas, appeared on, and hosted variety and game shows. What we would get is the Japanese idol group

SMAP, who do all of the aforementioned. The Asian idol is expected to be ubiquitous in mainstream media from singing to dancing, acting, modeling, and TV hosting. The game shows, talk shows and variety shows are generally filled with celebrities and idols acting as contestants and panelists. This is in direct contrast to Western game shows, which typically use unknown contestants. It is actually considered prestigious for many former idols (re: got too old), to simply become variety and game show regulars. Up-and-coming Asian celebrities often have little control over their careers and are at the mercy of their talent agency to push them to prominence. The result is very little movement between talent agencies, especially in the small close-knit entertainment industries in many Asian countries. Dropping their

talent agency is highly frowned upon, and even established stars many find it extremely difficult to go independent, much less up-and-comers who may be permanently blacklisted in the industry. Asian celebrities also have a different standard of behaviour and conduct levied upon them whereas there is an expectation that Western celebrities be aloof, larger than life, and brash; these qualities are all frowned upon in Asian culture. Asian celebrities, especially the idols, are expected to maintain exemplary behaviour, far beyond what is expected of the general public. Singer/actor Jay Chou received special commendations from the Taiwanese government for his personal aversion to smoking, drinking, and partaking in nightlife. However, it goes the other way too; Korean actress Ok So-Ri was charged with a little-used

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adultery law for having an affair, a law not typically enforced on the general public. Hong Kong singer/actor Edison Chen was forced to step down indefinitely from the Hong Kong entertainment industry after being involved in a photo-sex scandal that was leaked on the Internet. In Japan, the scrutiny of celebrities is even more intense; merely being photographed in public while smoking and drinking underaged (legal age is 20) or being spotted with a girlfriend or boyfriend is enough to derail an idol’s career. Sex, drugs, and rock’n’roll does not apply to Asian celebrities; they are expected to be squeaky clean. For all the differences in the Asian and Western entertainment world, the basic underpinnings remain the same: to make oodles of money off the cult of celebrity worship.

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14

Features

Imprint, Friday, March 6, 2009

International Women’s Week

julia hawthornthwaite

Interview with the vaginas Matt Pankhurst reporter

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alking down the stairs of the Bombshelter, I thought I knew what to expect. A quick glance toward the stage showed me that the first eight rows of chairs were packed with women, chatting underneath Arethra Franklin’s “Respect” on the loudspeaker. And the men, accounting for no more than 10 per cent of the audience, reluctantly chose to stay in the peanus — err, peanut — gallery, as if there were a vagina-forcefield blocking us from sitting closer. Taking note of this mystical barrier, I sat down in the ninth row, and the show began. Within seconds, I heard a smattering of phrases: “A culture of vaginas,” “vagina interviews,” “vagina monologues,” and “We were worried about vaginas” At this point, so was I. How could you have an interview with a body part? How could a vagina wear combat boots or a ball gown? Backstitching hilarious and solemn moments, what at first seemed to be nonsense started to make real sense: that even in 2009, the vagina is forgotten. However, another thing that was forgotten about women was how to pronounce it. I heard the word women mispronounced almost 40 per cent of the times it was uttered during the performance. Girls, pick up a dictionary and read what you sound like (if a vagina can talk, so can you!). It’s [wim-in], not [woom-uhn]. (Just kidding… please don’t kill me.) In all seriousness, the women performed with a spectacular array of emotion, from lighthearted and comedic (in The Flood, The Vagina Workshop, and The Woman Who Loved to Make Vaginas Happy) to serious and touching (Hair, My Vagina Was My Village). Each performance – and that’s saying something, considering there were 22 performers – was spot-on, and Monologues ran without a hitch, making perfect use of the Bomber’s space. It was

REMEMBER....

well-executed and very fun, but most importantly, it brought the women (and some lucky men) together for a cause that actually helps women. Speaking with the cast after the show, some people asked me if I was writing a review. Although I’ve formed some opinions, writing a true review would be counterproductive to the true goal of The Vagina Monologues, which is to raise funds, awareness, and support; having fun is secondary. “It’s all about the cause and not about who’s in the audience,” said the play’s directors, Jessalyn Broadfoot and Madeline Needles. “But we loved having all 22 of the cast together. That rarely happened, but when it happened today, it was magic.” Magic indeed, but magic isn’t always synonymous with fun. For example, there was nothing “fun” about “My Vagina Was My Village,” performed by Eileen Li, nor was there meant to be. The graphic scene depicts violence in a Bosnian rape camp using an extended metaphor to compare a vagina to a hometown. Lines such as “I became a river of poison and pus, and all the crops died, and the fish” intrigued me on a poetic level, but are far too real to dismiss as mere poetry. Horror lovers, aspiring poets, men, and women: you’ll eat this stuff up. This year, The Vagina Monologues

focused its spotlight on systematic violence against women as a tactic of war in the Democratic Republic of Congo. Sukhpreet Sangha, who performed on this topic in the closing monologue, says that we should and can make a difference: “Even though we feel far away in the West from the DRC, we must do whatever we can.” Growing up, most men probably get more attached to their bodies as their bodies get attached to more girls. What Vagina Monologues wants to say is that women instead distance themselves from their bodies as a result of being embarrassed about anything from their natural appearance (hair, wetness, and smell) to their unnatural reality (rape and social stigma). What Vagina Monologues wants to do is end violence against women. Guys, I think we can all agree: Waterloo is doing it right.

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considerably and set fashion trends with her “little boy” look. Her relaxed style, short skirts, and casual looks were in sharp contrast to the corset fashions that were popular in the previous decades. Chanel herself dressed in man(ish) clothes, and adapted these more comfortable fashions which other women found liberating. Changing the way women think and dress changed the way they perceived life. A luminous Chanel quote, “Fashion has become a joke. The designers have forgotten that there are women inside the dresses. Most women dress for men and want to be admired. But they must also be able to move, to get into a car without bursting their seams! Clothes must have a natural shape.” Chanel was way ahead of her time, making women feel good about themselves and giving them opportunities to dress how they feel, which is ironic because it wasn’t until 1977 where International Women’s Day is put into place. Chanel gives women the inspiration and tools to start changing the world even before the women’s rights movement.

Imprint, Friday, March 6, 2009 arts@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

young woman named Althea and her family’s Liveship, Vivacia. Althea, who has spent the majority of her conscious life aboard her father’s ship, loses the right to captain the Vivacia because her family belives her to be too weak and sheltered to take up her deceased father’s position. Although at the beginning of the first book, Althea is in fact, far too weak in stature to run a ship, she doesn’t allow herself to be dissuaded. Althea’s struggles lead the readers through a journey of self discovery and realization as she forces away from her life as a lady to push way into a world “reserved” for men, and to regain a ship that is rightly hers. Through out the course of the three books, Hobb introduces the reader to various disturbing elements of sexism and the struggles of womanhood, addressing extremely pressing and somewhat taboo issues, such as the imposed notion that a woman’s highest virtue is her virginity. In all, these books depict tale of a woman who rejects the constraints her society has placed upon her, and are an inspiring, necessary read that all UW readers should indulge in. — Caitlyn MacIntire

Poetry

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Sabrina Ward Harrison Artist

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“We are all facing choices that define us. No choice, however messy, is without importance in the overall picture of our lives. We all at our own age have to claim something, even if it is only our own confusion.” — Sabrina Ward Harrison There is an artist whose creations I turn to when the weather is cold, my self-image is charred and my cupboards

out of chocolate — Sabrina Ward Harrison. The Canadian-born artist has published four of her collage journals, my favorite one being Spilling Open: The Art of Becoming Yourself, which she published at the age of 23. Her art never ceases to give me appreciation for the memories I often overlook and the little keepsakes I keep stacked in shoeboxes. Sabrina is fluent in photography, collage, and painted work mediums, but she is also fond of discovering unconventional canvases for her selfexpression, such as suitcases. I love her because she is messy at times, sensitive and others, but always in possession of her own flaws and strengths. Looking at her work I am reminded that the process of self-growth is never complete, and on a bad day when I am feeling disillusioned, that can be a very comforting thought. Her art promotes self-acceptance, self-respect and freedom of expression, and this is why I love her work. — Anya Lomako

courtesy dorianne laux

Dorianne Laux Poet

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Coco Chanel Fashion designer infinitas.com

Women of the past are the ones who lead women of the future. In 1912 a very influential woman, Gabrielle “Coco” Chanel opened up her first millinery hat shop. In the 1920’s she became a premier designer in Paris, France. Her vivid ideas of replacing the corset with comfortable and casual elegance were timeless and couldn’t have been a better asset. Chanel’s fashion themes included simple suits and dresses, women’s trousers, costume jewelry, perfume and textiles, giving women the idea that they were more than just “trophies.” Her fashion house expanded

Robin Hobb Novelist

Robin Hobb is the penname of a wellreceived modern fantasy author named Margaret Astrid Lindholm Ogden, who has written a series of short stories, novels and epic trilogies. Although all of her works are very well respected within the literature community, her most influential work was quite possibly her second installment of her fantasy world The Six Dutchies, the Liveship Trader’s Trilogy. The Liveship Trilogy is a set of novels centered around the lives of a

I know I should pick a Canadian, and I know it’s equally unfair to dismiss national possibilities as too regional, too overdone, or too green. In the end, though, I wanted to emphasize someone whose work plays the spectrum of grief and lust with uncomfortable intensity, because too often poetry is seen as a weak form, working with subtlety in lieu of force. Well, Dorianne Laux wields subtlety with force, and in so doing conveys a female experience that is both unrelenting and unapologetic. Yes, Maya Angelou can pop out an abstract mantra on womanhood, but Laux, by grounding her pieces in visceral detail and real-world scenarios, evokes an argument for femininity that needn’t be differentiated from person-hood: womanhood is person-hood. And Laux is well worth the read. — Maggie Clark


Arts & Entertainment

Imprint, Friday, March 6, 2009

Dissociatives ARE abstract egassner@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

S

ilverchair haS always been an interesting band. When they had their first release, Frogstomp (1995), they were a decent rock band and lead singer Daniel Johns was only 15 years old. But with each album their sound expanded and changed until their most recent album, Young Modern, which has some songs that are just bat-shit crazy. But that insanity didn’t come out of nowhere; their style was clearly influenced by Daniel Johns’ other project The Dissociatives. The Dissociatives is made up of Johns, Paul Mac (who is well known for his remixes and dance music in Australia), and Julian Hamilton and Kim Moyes (who are both from the Australian band The Presets.) In 2000, they released an EP entitled I Can’t Believe It’s Not Rock and their fulllength, self-titled album came out in 2004 (although it didn’t actually come out until 2005 in North America). In the past I have mentioned bands that are difficult to describe, but

some of the songs on this album take this to a new level. The opening track “We’re Much Preferred Customers” is a great example of this. The album is a bizarre flipperbaby with hints of rock, dance, and heaps of something abstract. It would be extremely difficult to identify the source of all the different sounds on the song “We’re Much Preferred Customers” and the vocals — while still sounding like Daniel Johns — have effects littered on them almost randomly. The lyrics add yet another level of abstraction with lines like “Birds creep over tin roofs / Like criminals with tap shoes. / Stain the glass with windows / extortionate and cold stare.” Despite all of this, though, it works. In the end their sound is melodic and catchy. The album also has neat touches like Johns singing “and insects sound like lasers” while his voice quickly cuts in and out to create a sound reminiscent of a cicada. Little touches like this (or just

coincidences like this) are frequent. Not all the songs are abstract though and all have fairly different sounds. “Somewhere Down the Barrel,” the first single from the album, sounds like it could be a song

feeding my animals” is not a very good chorus, and yet “Horror with Eyeballs” would prove you wrong. Their self-titled album also had distinctive music videos accompanying their singles that are all

16

The album is a bizarre flipperbaby with hints of rock, hints of dance, and heaps of something abstract.

from Young Modern with a bit of an electronic sound. Overall though, the album has a fairly upbeat pop sound; however, I feel as though any sweeping generalization I can make about the album could be disproven by at least one song on the album. It’s amazing the power the music gives to lyrics that often don’t make sense. For instance, you might think that “All of this time on my hands / So far has gone to

done in a similar, cut-out style. “Somewhere Down the Barrel” even won an award in Australia for best video, but if you’re going to check out one of their videos, I would go with “Horror with Eyeballs.” While most of the songs are faster paced, there are a few slower ones like “Lifting the Veil from the Braille,” a track that contains more whistling than vocals. More notably though, is the track “Forever and a Day,” the

most coherent song on the album and further proof of the quality of the variation found within the album. However, I can’t claim this album is perfect. One critique is that it doesn’t feel like a full album; it has 10 tracks and is 43 minutes long, which is fine, but two of the songs are instrumentals that don’t do much for me (actually... only one is really an instrumental, the other one is a whistling track). Additionally, the final track “Sleep Well Tonight” really does threaten to put you to sleep; whether that’s good or bad is really up to you. You can check out several of their songs at www.myspace.com/thedissociatives including “Horror with Eyeballs,” “Forever and a Day,” and “Somewhere Down the Barrel” (which is randomly labelled as “After All” on their MySpace — I have no idea why). The band is currently on hiatus but I would be surprised if we do not see something new from The Dissociatives sometime soon.

The horrors of our horrors

I

imcewan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

offer you a formula: a series of quick-flashing wide shots of characters going somewhere, scenes of people being attacked, punctuated

by what looks like intentionally crappy video editing sounds, screaming cut short, and winded voices saying things like “Oh my god.” This is a horror

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movie trailer. Each film can only be described in one word, a fact their titles will often attest to: The Phone, The Black, Grave, Moon, Blackness, Dark Smoke. Gimme a break. Most of our modern horror movies aren’t even worth parodying, because they’re more often hilarious than terrifying. Everybody scares differently, but the redundancy is only going to grow deeper. Who really cares how good the direction of a horror movie is, right? As long as there’s a startling moment or two, or some creativity stamp ,like a fist materializing in the back of a showering girl’s head, they’re good to go. Sadly, studios are full of overused gimmicks these days and they make horror movies less of a feat than they originally were. The Saw franchise got a fifth bundle of joy this past year because gratuitous gore sells remarkably well. People love

to watch others dig keys out of their eyes. Saw has a decent backstory, but its scaring edge is so transparent that you feel like Jigsaw’s really playing a game with you. Another reason today’s horror films just aren’t cutting it is the music. Not the background music — it’s never unwelcome in scenes before the scares. It’s the way music ruins the critical moment by adding a sharp violin zhing! when a character spies a little girl hanging herself, or the almost patronizing cacophony you get when there’s something behind them. In these situations, silence would make it far more real and less of a theatrical event. That’s how many horrors actually scare you: relatability. Regardless of the surrealism involved, horrors can’t afford to keep audiences at distance. Music, sound, and shots have to give a sense of involvement, like in the priest scene of the original Amityville Horror (1979), or the final

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showdown in The Exorcist (1973). But these days, the scare factor doesn’t depend on how much studios try to get to us with one-timers like The Strangers (seriously, I dare you to name three recent horrors off the top of your head that have more than two words in the title), but whether or not the studio who originally made the film is Japanese. Japanese horror movies are acclaimed as the most effective worldwide, and many of their western cousins pale in comparison. The Ring, The Grudge, and One Missed Call, to name a few, are all remakes of flicks from the Far East. Japanese horror movies don’t hold back; they are incredibly scary. Find a copy and you won’t sleep for a week. Sooner or later, all the Stephen King novels will be used up and filmmakers will have to try harder. Admittedly, making a movie scary is no walk in the park. The screenwriters have to have a good understanding of how people react to certain cinematic techniques and use a story with depth to threaten the mind. Fear is the body’s instinctive response to danger. We enjoy the thrill and suspense more if we can place ourselves on the other side of the screen, and for this to happen, films have to be less formulaic and leading with things like music and shots. Stuff as simple as clichéd short titles just makes it seem like the movie is halfhearted, something they expect you to see and forget, even laugh about, later on. Getting some actors worthy of the name can’t hurt either. And once again, if you’ve seen movies like The Ring, watch the Japanese original to know true fear.

Come write for Imprint! Be artistic! Express your creativity! write about music, movies, literature, webcomics, and much much more! arts@imprint.uwaterloo.ca


Imprint, Friday, March 6, 2009

Ranging from angels to

zombies

ptrinh@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

A

n interview with Faith Erin Hicks. In an odd sort of timing, as International Women’s Day approaches, I had the chance to interview the 2008 Schuster Award-winning comic creator Faith Erin Hicks. She is known widely as the creator of the webcomics Demonology 101 and Ice, as well as the creator of the graphic novels Zombies Calling and The War at Ellsmere. She stands as one of my favourite female comic creators to date alongside names such as Hope Larson, Danielle Corsetto, and Raina Telgemeier — as well as my favourite Canadian female comicist. Here’s a few of the points she shared about starting into the comics industry. 1. What got you into working in comics? Was it more of a goal you had since you were a kid, or did something inspire you to make comics when you were older? Hicks: I think maybe it was a combination of the two. I grew up reading Asterix and Tintin and really loved those kinds of comics, but hadn’t had much exposure outside of anything ... well, French. I think the internet had the biggest impact on my wanting to do comics. I discovered online comics back in the late ’90s, and saw all these people from all walks of life and all with different skill levels just drawing and posting pages. It was pretty thrilling. And I decided that what they were doing looked like a lot of fun, so I wanted to try too. Hurrah for the internet! 2. Do you have a certain approach when it comes to your writing and/ or artwork? Hicks: I have never actually thought about whether or not I have an

“approach.” I sit down at a drawing desk and work every day, and I like to watch old TV shows while I work, but I don’t know if that’s an approach to anything. I guess I always try very hard to learn from others and to absorb as much information as I can and apply it to my own work. I’m always struggling to improve. And it is a struggle! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. 3. What inspired you to write Demonology 101 and why did you decide to make it a webcomic? Hicks: Demonology 101 first started off as a direct Buffy the Vampire Slayer ripoff ... or at least a rip-off of the early seasons. Like a lot of young women, the show really spoke to an adolescent part of me, and put into horror metaphors a lot of the personal crap I was going through growing up. It was all terribly inspiring. But over time D101 really evolved into something else: sort of a mish-mash of family drama and a debate about good vs. evil and whether or not anything is really that simple, even when dealing in Biblical terms. D101 started out as a webcomic because the web was there, it was free, and I had no presumption about my skills as an artist. I knew I was terrible, and I knew no one would pay for the comic. I had no thoughts about getting it published at all; it was a pure webcomic. 4. With your books Zombies Calling and The War at Ellsmere, was it difficult to get them published? Hicks: Surprisingly, no. With Zombies Calling I noticed that one of the publishers I liked, SLG, who published Andi Watson’s Skeleton Key series, had

an open submission policy. I spent about a month working on a pitch for them, mailed it off, and then a year later they got back to me about publishing it. I think that was the worst part of the whole thing, that year of waiting. I’d assumed by that point that they’d rejected me, and was pretty shocked when that turned out not to be the case. With The War at Ellsmere, I’d pitched it somewhere else first, but the first publisher rejected it. So I pitched it again to SLG, who had expressed interest in any other comic ideas I might have. They were very enthusiastic about it, and the rest is history. 5. Was winning the Schuster Award the highlight of your career so far, or has anything else happened in your life that holds more sentiment for you as a comic artist? Hicks: Winning a Shuster was a real thrill, definitely. I don’t know if it’s the highest point I’ve ever been at in my career so far. I think getting my current job drawing a book for First Second Books was pretty thrilling, as was the whole experience at San Diego ComicCon (I got to go last year). Honestly, whenever someone talks to me at a convention or signing or other meetup and tells me they enjoy my comics, that’s a highlight right there. 6. Do you have any personal tips for anyone who wishes to get into the comics industry? Hicks: Be prepared to work like you’ve never worked before! And to do it for free for a very long time! I’ll have been doing comics for 10 years this August (I started drawing Demonology 101 in 1999), and only now am I sort of making a living from it. And I don’t even know

Arts & Entertainment if that will continue! But I’m thrilled by the opportunities I’ve been given right now. So, yeah, work hard, be polite and friendly to everyone in the industry (even if they’re an asshole to you), read as many comics as you can and learn from those cartoonists, and have fun! Comics are a great art-form, and a wonderful thing to be a part of. Currently, Hicks is working on her

third graphic novel under the publisher First Second Books, well-known for other published works such as the Michael L. Printz Award-winning American Born Chinese (Gene Luen Yang) and the Eisner Award-winning Laika (Nick Abadzis). Hicks’ work holds a confidence that I enjoy reading and viewing, and I wish her all the best in her life and her career’s future.

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Offer ends March 31, 2009. Available with compatible devices within Bell Mobility high speed mobile network coverage areas. Weeknights Mon-Thu, 6pm-7am; Weekends Fri 6pm-Mon 7am. Other monthly fees, i.e., e9-1-1 (75¢), system access (not a government fee) ($8.95), and one-time device activation ($35) apply. Long distance and roaming charges (including foreign taxes) may apply outside your local area. Upon early termination, price adjustment charges apply. Subject to change without notice; not combinable with other offers. Taxes extra. Other conditions apply. (1) With new activation on a 3-yr. term. (2) Received messages include local, international, roaming and service related messages from Bell and exclude premium, alerts and dial-up messages. Sent messages include local messages and exclude international, roaming, alerts, premium messages and messages sent with an instant messaging application. (3) Applies to airtime for calls in your local calling area. (4) Bonus minutes apply during the initial contract term. (5) Simultaneous use of airtime. (6) With new activation on a post-paid voice plan and a data feature with a total min. value of $45/mo. (7) With new activation on a post-paid voice plan. (8) With new activation on a post-paid voice plan and a data feature with a total min. value of $35/ mo. BlackBerry® and related trademarks, names and logos are the property of Research In Motion Limited and are registered and/or used in the U.S. and countries around the world. Rumour is a trademark of LG Electronics Inc. Samsung Cleo is a trademark of Samsung Electronics Co., Ltd., and its related entities.


Campus Bulletin UPCOMING Friday, March 6, 2009 The Fine Arts Film Society presents “Classics of the Asian Erotic Film series – Motel Cactus” 7 p.m., ECH 1220. Free. Must be 18+years of age. Rotunda Gallery presents “Works on Paper: Pickering Nuclear Generating Station – Martin Pearce” opening reception 5 to 7 p.m. For more info 519741-3400, ext 3381. Tuesday, March 10, 2009 “Rime of the Ancient Mariner” opens until March 10 at the Barber Gallery, 167 Suffolk Street, W., in Guelph. 519824-0821 for info. Wednesday, March 11, 2009 ASU elections – campaign period is until March 11 with voting taking place on March 12 and 13 from 8:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. Contact Chief Returning Officer Catherine Johns Ruta at c.johns. ruta@gmail.com for questions. Friday, March 13, 2009 The Fine Arts Film Society presents “Classics of the Asian Erotic Film series – Macho Dancer” 7 p.m., ECH 1220. Free. Must be 18+years of age. Saturday, March 14, 2009 Arts Gala 2009 – On the Red Carpet – Fed Hall 8 p.m. to 2 a.m., tickets sold at ASU office, AL 120 or for more info asu-executive@asu.uwaterloo.ca. Wednesday, March 18, 2009 Greenpeace Climate Solutions Tour – free lecture by Bruce Cox, Executive Director of Greenpeace, at 5:30 p.m., RCH room 302. Presented by WPIRG. Thursday, March 19, 2009 Career Services presents “Hot Tips from the Pros!” – come out and hear from our expert employer panel on such topics as resumes, job search tools, etc. 4:30 to 6:30 p.m., TC 2218. Saturday, March 21, 2009 Homer Watson House and Gallery is pleased to present a bus trip to Canada Blooms in Toronto from 8:45 a.m. to 5 p.m. For more info visist www.homerwatson.on.ca or call 519-748-4377. Tuesday, March 24, 2009 Career Services presents “Success with an Arts Graduate Degree” – a panel of alumni will talk about their career paths after finishing graduate studies at UW. 4:40 to 6 p.m., TC 2218. Friday, March 27, 2009 The annual commemoration of the UN international Day for the elimination of racial discrimination at Kitchener City Hall at 8:30 a.m. Wednesday, April 1, 2009 2009 Autonomous Racing Challenge – build autonomous robots – race for first prize of $500 to $1,000. Early registration deadline April 1, 2009. For details www.RobotRacing.org. Sunday, May 3, 2009 “Walk to Remember 2009” – Bereaved Families of Ontario-Midwestern Region. 9 a.m. registration at Waterloo Memorial Recreation Centre. Lots to do from silent auction to children’s activities and prizes! For info 519-8948344 or www.bfomidwest.org. Thursday, May 7, 2009 Hear the Music Symposium: learn about noise-induced hearing loss and how to protect yourelf while still enjoying the music you love. Keynote speaker Dr. Marshall Chasin, audiologist to some of Canada’s most well-known musical artists. 7 p.m. Conrad Grebel. For ticket info 519-744-6811 or akafadar@chs.ca.

ANNOUNCEMENTS Crown Ward Status: attention students who are/were Crown Wards needed to work with large, Provincially funded transdiscliplinary team (including UW students) dedicated to helping current Crown Ward youth. Please contact Kelly Anthony at 519-888-4567, ext 32802. Paid position. Exchanges for undergraduates and

graduates – 2009-2010 academic years: MICEFA, Paris, France and the Chinese University of Hong Kong internal deadline: March 17, 2009. For info and application forms please contact Maria Lango, International Programs, Waterloo International, Needles Hall 1101, room 1113, ext 33999 or by email: mlango@uwaterloo.ca. General casting call – independent filmmakers looking for acting talent, full cast, extras and potential crew members. Contact Black Cloak Entertainment at casting@blackcloak.ca. Tune in to Sound 100.3 FM radio to hear DJ Cool with lots of music, entertainment, helpful info, weather and more. www.soundfm.ca >listen or www. ckmsfm.ca. Nominations are requested for the following student seats on Senate: Undergraduate Student Representative – one undergraduate student of the University to be elected by/from the full-time undergraduate students of the Faculty of Arts, term May 1, 2009 to April 30, 2010. Graduate Student Representatives – two graduate students of the University to be elected by/from the full and part-time graduate students of the University, terms May 1, 2009 to April 30, 2011. Nomination forms are available from the Secretariat (ext 36125) and from the Secretariat webpage; see www.secretariat.uwaterloo. ca/elections/nomelectionsb.htm. At least five nominators are required in each case. Nominations should be sent to the Secretariat, Needles Hall, room 3060, no later than 3 p.m., Wednesday, March 25, 2009. Elections will follow if necessary. Senators whose terms expire April 30, 2009 – undergraduate student Allan Babor*(Independent Studies) ; graduate students – Douglas Stebila*(Combinatorics and Optimization), Kathleen Wilkie (Applied Mathematics). *not eligible for re-election.

VOLUNTEERING Career Services volunteers needed for 2009-2010 to fill two types of volunteer positions: student career assistant and student marketing assistant. Depending on the position, you will gain valuable job search, marketing, and career-related skills by either promoting events and services or by helping other students in their career planning and job search. Open to regular and co-op students who are creative and possess strong interpersonal and communication skills. Applications available in Career Services, TC 1214, or from our webpage at careerservices.uwaterloo.ca. Deadline is March 9, 2009.

Imprint, Friday, March 6, 2009 ads@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

CAREER SERVICES WORKSHOPS

LIVE & LEARN LECTURES-WPL

STUDENT AWARD & FINANCIAL AID

Tuesday, March 10, 2009 Business Etiquette and Professionalism – proper etiquette is crucial to a successful job search – 10:30 to 11:30 a.m., TC 1208. Wednesday, March 11, 2009 Academic Interviews – learn best strategies to succeed in your next academic interview – 12 to 1:30 p.m., TC 2218. Note: go to CTE website to register for this workshop. Thursday, March 12, 2009 Exploring Your Personality Type – Part 1 – 2:30 to 4 p.m., TC 1112. Part 2 – Thursday, March 19 from 2:20 to 4:30 p.m, TC 1112. Monday, March 16, 2009 Teaching Philosophy Statement – hands-on workshop to work on your own teaching philosophy and tie it to forms of evidence. Note: register for this workshop on the CTE website. 10 to 11:30 a.m., TC 2218. Wednesday, March 18, 2009 Work Search Strategies for International Students – 4:30 to 6 p.m., TC 1208. Successfully Negotiating Job Offers – increase the odds – 2:30 to 3:30 p.m., TC 1208. Tuesday, March 24, 2009 Working Search Strategies – increase your chances of success – 2:30 to 4 p.m, TC 1208. Wednesday, March 25, 2009 Career Interest Assessment – your interests relate to specific career opportunities – 10:30 a.m. to 12 p.m., TC 1113. Are You Thinking about an MBA? – an overview of requirements – 5:30 to 7 p.m., TC 2218. All about GMAT – presented by Geoff Vokes from Kaplan Centre, T.O. – 5 to 5:30 p.m, TC 2218. Thursday, March 26, 2009 Career Exploration and Decision Making – increase your understanding – 2 to 4 p.m., TC 1112. Getting a U.S. Work Permit – with speaker Nina Juncewicz, U.S. immigraiton attorney – 4:30 to 6 p.m., TC 1208. Teaching English Abroad – learn more about TESOL certification – 2:30 to 3:30 p.m., TC 1208. Law School Bound – learn best practices to prepare an effective law school application – 12:30 to 1:30 p.m., TC 1208. Preparing for the LSAT – begin on the right foot – 1:30 to 2:30 p.m., TC 1208.

Lectures from 7 to 9 p.m. at Waterloo Public Library, 35 Albert Street, Waterloo. For info 519-886-1310, ext 124. Tuesday, March 10, 2009 Mr. Plow meets the Beatles. Tuesday, March 24, 2009 Is it normal for my teenager to be gambling? Tuesday, April 7, 2009 Saying uncle: speaking under torture or coercion. Tuesday, April 21, 2009 Necromedia.

Office is second floor Needles Hall, 519888-4567, ext 36605, safa.uwaterloo.ca. March 25/09 – last day to submit Confirmation of Enrolment for winter only term and fall and winter term to ensure full OSAP funding. March 30/09 – recommended submission date for OSAP Rollover Form to add spring term to winter only term or fall and winter term. Recommended submission date for OSAP Reinstatement Form to add spring term to fall only term.

Classified COURSES

PERSONALS

SP-100 Forest Firefighting course to be held in Kitchener/Waterloo, Ontario March 11-15, 2009. Registration limited to the first 32 applicants. Course will be held during evening hours during the week. To register, please call Wildfire Specialists Inc., 2233 Radar Road, Suite 5, Hanmer, Ontario, P3P 1R2. Toll free 1-877-381-5849. Ontario Ministry of Natural Resources accredited. No guarantee of employment.

Egg donor needed – married couple seeking kind individual ages 20-32 years of age. Attributes: caucasian, healthy. Compensation for expenses incurred. Reply to: vaa5866@gmail.com.

HOUSING Attention Cambridge School of Architecture students! Live conveniently and comfortably right across the street from school in this beautifully renovated apartment. 4, 8 and 12-month leases available with excellent signing bonuses and rental incentives! Call Joanne at 519-746-1411 for more details. Graduate housing: on-campus suites and apartments available now and May 1 at St. Paul’s College. Apply online: www.stpauls.uwaterloo.ca. For more information call 519-885-1460, ext 212.

SERVICES

Does your thesis or major paper need a fresh pair of eyes to catch English spelling and grammar errors? Thesis English editing, $50/hour. Five business day turnaround. Neal Moogk-Soulis, ncmoogks@uwaterloo.ca. Papers without panic! Efficient, professional editor with academic experience and student rates. Call 905-864-1858, ext 2 ; 1-877-872-4619 or email amy@ enabletc.com

HELP WANTED

Weekend counsellors and relief staff to work in homes for individuals with developmental challenges. Minimum eight-month commitment. Paid positions. Send resume to Don Mader, KW Habilitation Services, 108 Sydney Street, Kitchener, ON, N2G 3V2.

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Science & Technology

Imprint, Friday, March 6, 2009 science@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

A run through memory lane A look inside the savant mind of Daniel Tammet

Ranga Thangarajah reporter

M

any of us communicate best with words. But ask 30-year-old Daniel Tammet, and he will tell you that he communicates best with

numbers. Being diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome — a mild form of autism — at a young age, Daniel was continuously teased at school for his unusual behaviourial outbursts. But while most kids his age would react emotionally to the bullying, he’d respond differently, putting his fingers in his ears and counting rapidly in powers of two. Two, four, eight, sixteen, thirty-two, sixty-four. It didn’t take long before numbers became Daniel’s most trusted confidants. “Numbers were my friends. They never changed. So, they were reliable. I could trust them,” Daniel claims. Daniel Paul Tammet is a high-functioning autistic savant. In other words, he is autistic by most measures, but has picked up enough social skills to be capable of blending in with non-autistic people. A synesthete by definition — someone showing obvious signs of synesthesia — Daniel has been gifted with an island of brilliance in the facility for mathematical and language learning. In a 2005 documentary, Brain Man, his remarkable abilities were showcased for the world to see by The Science Channel. When randomly asked to equate 37 raised to the power of four without using a calculator, Daniel immediately and precisely replies, “1,874,161” after simply molding shapes with his fingers in thin air. Excelling at power multiplication is just the tip of the iceberg for Daniel. With an out of this world memory, he also claims to speak nine languages and says he can learn a new one in just seven days! His averment is put to the challenge in Brain Man, as Daniel is sent to Iceland to see if he can learn one of the world’s most difficult languages in a week and then, communicate in front of a live television audience. At

the end, he leaves everyone amazed, including his tutor (whose Icelandic name I’m still working on pronouncing correctly). “He was like a sponge, absorbing all words and grammar at a phenomenal rate… It’s almost beyond — it’s not human,” Sigridur Kristinsdóttir tells The Science Channel. With such an amazing memory, it is no surprise that on March 14th 2004 (3/14 in US notation, referring to International Pi Day), Daniel amazed crowds of onlookers as he recited the infinite number pi — the ratio of a circle’s circumference to its diameter — from memory to 22,514 decimal places in a record time of five hours and nine minutes, setting a new British and European record for all to beat. So you may be wondering: how can a human being who appears to be no more different than you and I on the outside be capable of such extraordinary academic feats? Well, the truth is, no one really knows. Research scientists have long tried to find an understandable explanation to this question, and now finally, thanks to the help of Daniel, may have found their perfect “lab rat.” Unlike most savants, Daniel is the only living savant to be able to explain his thinking process — an invaluable discovery for science that is spawning off a new field of research. In a recent interview with Scientific American, Daniel discusses his new autobiography, Born on a Blue Day, providing tips from the book to help those unlike his savant-self improve their own memory. “Use your imagination,” he says. Like actors who have to remember hundreds of script lines, he recommends using your imagination to visualize scenarios incorporating what you need to remember. Another approach, that has been backed up by research, suggests that we are often able to recall information if the context in which we first acquired that particular piece of information is repeated to us. In other words, Daniel is certain that being sensually vigilant of our learning environments can help increase our long-term memory. Overall, the age-old debate of whether or not humans only use ten per cent of their brains continues to be a topic for heated discussion even today. Although neurological studies have concluded that simple, everyday menial tasks only require us to employ a small portion of our

mind, there has never been substantial medical evidence supporting the ten per cent theory. However, with savants like Daniel emerging, one is left to question otherwise and wonder how truly remarkable one could be if we discovered a way to use our brains more efficiently. While science attempts to figure out the brain’s true capacity, you can be sure that, regardless of how sharp your memory may be, Daniel Tammet is a man worth remembering for years to come.

Grad profile: Ignace Moya

graphics by paul collier

Profile on Ignace Moya and his work on enzymes

Lana Sheridan staff reporter

H

ow do you get rid of a parasite? That is a question that Ignace Moya is working to answer. Trichomonas vaginalis is a common sexually transmitted disease that causes vaginitis, a condition of itching, swelling, and discharges in some women, that can be carried by both sexes without symptoms. Unfortunately, it also leads to birth complications and increases a person’s risk of contracting HIV by two to five times. Entamoeba histolytica is an intestinal disease that is life threatening in areas of developing countries that lack access to clean water and food, since it readily spreads in these conditions. In severe cases, after damaging the intestinal wall it can enter the blood stream and wreak havoc on multiple organ systems. What do these infections have in common? They are both anaerobic parasites, and thus, their own metabolic chemistry can be used against them. It all works based on the idea that an enzyme, intended for breaking down one molecule, will also act on a different but related molecule, reducing it to a product that is toxic. Treatments that work in this way are called prodrugs. Both T. vaginalis and E. histolytica

infections are treated with a prodrug called metronidazole, but overuse and misuse are leading to the microbes becoming resistant to it. Moya is working on developing a new potential prodrug. The parasites have an enzyme that breaks

lana sheridan

down the amino acid methionine as part of their metabolic processes. However, the same enzyme will break down variants of methionine containing fluorine, and the resulting molecules are extremely reactive and thus are lethal to the parasite. These products of the reaction can also be damaging to human tissue, which is why they are not used as drugs themselves. However, since people do not have the enzyme needed to break down methionine, administering it as a prodrug should be completely safe. Moya’s new potential prodrug is difluoromethionine. He has reason to believe that it will work because tests have shown that the version with three fluorine atoms works well against the two parasites. However, this molecule is more interesting because of the possibility of attaching extra functional groups to it to alter its potency or where it will be transported to within the parasite. This makes it much more flexible as a prodrug. Moya started this work since coming to Waterloo for his PhD two years ago. Previously, he studied protein interactions between two enzymes involved in DNA repair at the University of Saskatchewan by suggesting and verifying a way to improve the interaction between the enzymes. This paves the way for

synthesizing a stable crystal of the interacting enzymes for use in x-ray crystallography. He decided, however, that he wanted to move away from crystallography and towards medicine, so he came to Waterloo to work with Prof. John Honek. “As a biochemist in enzymology, your options are not constricted to solving crystal structures,” he says, “you can do something in your career that contributes to society.” He enjoys the challenging aspects of research. “It takes time to get results, years sometimes. There’s always new problems to solve, and you make progress, but it’s slow.” He recommends doing a master’s degree first, so that “you know what you’re getting into.” Still, he likes the opportunity to learn new things that are not a part of most people’s daily experience. And if it leads to new treatments for devastating diseases, so much the better. lsheridan@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

[If you want to suggest science or technology research going on in the university for coverage in a research profile piece, email the Science section with the subject “Research Profile.”]


Science & Technology

Imprint, Friday, March 6, 2009

21

Small and dangerous comforts This rush for everyone to save the planet has turned into a rush to save ourselves. Instead of looking at the big picture, people are simply taking comfort in buying little “green” products and investing in greenwashing campaigns without looking at the consequences. Andrew Szasz, author and professor of sociology at the University of California, brings this issue up in his new book Shopping Our Way to Safety: How We Changed from Protecting the Environment to Protecting Ourselves. In his book, he focuses

largely on products such as bottled water, which succeed in seducing more consumers with promises of environmentally conscious water. In reality, bottled water is more harmful for the environment, and is not as safe or as well regulated as tap water (not to mention tap water is free). Szasz said, “Consumers believe these products will protect them, which creates a kind of political anaesthesia and precludes the collective action that generates real change.” In so many words, we are trying to shield

ourselves with all these little comforts, yet we shy away from involvement in or support of real global changes, such as getting rid of bottled water altogether or switching over to fully renewable energy sources instead of just energy-reducing products. Reductionism is great, but why worry about buying all these overpriced and generally useless environmental commodities to reduce when we can change the source and not need to reduce nearly as much, if at all? With energy coming from wind or

Why obsess over reduction and tiny environmental frivolities when the real problem is still pumping chemicals into our environment?

I

saw a water bottle the other day that boasts about being “environmentally friendly.” It mentioned that it was recyclable, used 15 per cent less plastic and was made with pure Canadian freshwater. This all made me question the seriousness of the new campaign and made me laugh a little. Could it be we’ve actually gotten to the point where we’ve satisfied ourselves with these “environmentally friendly” water bottles and energy-efficient light bulbs and stopped caring about the big picture? Have we been lulled into this false sense of security by believing we’re helping the environment when we buy a book that has 25 per cent more recycled paper? With the environmental concern becoming prominent, companies have taken it in stride to create more environmental marketing schemes. Our stores are now flooded with greenwashing (products that boast reduction in materials and an increase in recyclable and recycled materials) and energy-efficient products. Many of these products don’t help the environment at all, and even the ones that do — while helping in small doses — don’t actually solve the big problem. It’s like continually putting bandages on cuts, but not stopping what’s cutting you. Products like energy-efficient light bulbs do reduce electricity, but too many people think they are saving the world simply by changing their light bulbs. Behind the scenes, the real problem — the production of energy — is still getting away with polluting our planet. This isn’t only a problem in products we buy either, but it seems that when any company uses the word “clean” or “green” people will immediately listen to them; for example, the heavily debated “clean coal” idea. Coal companies boast this as a way to burn coal in a clean manner that releases fewer emissions and hopes to capture any emissions and sequester them or re-use them. However, this is a myth and an oxymoron, kind of like a “healthy” cigarette. According to multiple sources, including the US Department of Energy and a Carbon Capture program at MIT, out of the 600 or so coal power production plants in the US, none of them capture or store their carbon emissions. In fact, not a single one can show an example of being “clean.”

theferty@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

the sun, we could keep our lights on all day and not cause a single detriment to the environment. As a society, we need to stop comforting ourselves — and only ourselves — with small commodities and greenwashing companies and instead take the fight to the source. You wouldn’t use less water from a leaking tap; just fix the leak. Why obsess over reduction and tiny environmental frivolities when the real problem is still pumping chemicals into our environment and speeding the clock to a great number of crises that will affect us, as well as the environment? Instead of thinking about keeping contaminants out of your homes and bodies alone, start working towards getting them out of our world and society.

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22

Science & Technology

Imprint, Friday, March 6, 2009

Internet likes Drink milk, to be on top live well alomako@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

the interests of real-life sex. For instance, a 2008 survey by Intel of 2,119 adult internet users found that 46 per cent of female users said they would choose the internet over sex for two weeks, while only 30 per cent of men came to the same conclusion. In the same year, Google saw more searches for the word “Facebook” than “sex” in Turkey, Colombia,

information that is “actively selected by the individual in accord with his or her personality and preferences, accessed anonymously, and viewed privately,” and to provide “an essentially unlimited array of pornographic material, which is frequently changed and upgraded.” Before cybersex becomes the major pastime of the new generation,

In 2008, Google saw more searches for the word

Facebook than sex.

Croatia, United Kingdom, Chile, France, Canada, and many other countries. Evidently, sex has competition. The explanations for these findings are open-ended, of course. I would argue that websites such as Facebook offer an interactive, controlled experience (as well as an assurance that it won’t be done before you are… unless you happen to lose your wireless connection). But do these findings also suggest that the internet is more popular than sex? If so, I am alarmed. The Journal of Psychology and Human Sexuality published an article titled, “Sex, Guys, and Cyberspace: Effects of Internet Pornography and Individual Differences on Men’s Attitudes Toward Women” by a team of researchers. In the paper, they described one of the advantages of the internet as being able to provide

N

ot many people consider the effects sex has on technology and vice versa. Personal computers, for instance, has been a handy utensil in peeling the layers of taboo from all things sexual, allowing erotica to become a film genre and two sex shops to be located on King Street, one in Waterloo and the other in Kitchener. In its own way, everything from cameras and camcorders to battery-powered dildos and life-size sex RealDolls have contributed to contemporary sex conventions. As such, the internet provides an arena for sexual self-expression, its own kind of sexual revolution. Dennis Waksul’s book Net.seXXX explores the social and economic consequences of the entrance of the internet into the “bedrooms of the nation.” Andreas Philaretou, associate professor of Psychology at European University Cyprus, supports Waksul in raising awareness of the influence of online sexual activities on human perceptions of sexuality, saying that “internet sex is more than just the use of a modern medium for sexual ends; it is more a reflection of today’s fast-pace social life characterized by individuality, impersonality, materialism, and social isolation.” Whether cybersex trends steer sexuality or simply cater to pre-existing desires, their interactions certainly implicate human sexual norms of behaviour. Interestingly enough, technology can sometimes conflict with

people must take action. Sex needs to step it up — and individuals must be persuaded to realize that, while the internet can satisfy carnal urges, it won’t make you a peanut-butter sandwich with a heart-shaped cookie cutter the morning after. According to IDC, the average person spends 32.7 hours per week on the Internet. You touch your computer every day, pressing buttons, moving the mouse — but how much time a day do you spend giving your partner completely undivided attention? If you have any questions about the behaviour or location of your junk, please e-mail your questions to me at the address listed above or meet with me in the Imprint office Mondays, 11:00a.m. to 12:00p.m. and loiter with me.

New study suggests higher calcium intake may reduce risk of digestive cancers Ranga Thangarajah reporter

T

he “Got Milk?” campaign just got another reason to spread some good, healthy cheer. A recent study released by the Archives of Internal Medicine last month examines the health-enriching benefits of consuming calciumfortified foods. Results show that higher calcium intake helps reduce the risk of colorectal cancer and other types of digestive cancers in both men and women. The study, which was conducted by a team of researchers at The National Cancer Institute of America in Bethesda, Maryland, surveyed 293,907 men and 198,903 women between the ages of 50 and 71. By issuing food questionnaires to participants in 1995 and 1996, researchers were able to analyze their daily dietary and supplement intakes. Then, closely following their eating habits for the full duration of the study (which averaged at around seven years), researchers tracked how many of them developed cancer by 2003.

Due to a slight accident involving a nuclear fission reactor, a monkey, and a pair of shoelaces, Micro Files and Tech Talk won’t be back till next week.

The minimum wage is going up. If you're an employer, here's what you need to know. General Minimum Wage

Students under 18 and working not more than 28 hours per week or during a school holiday

Liquor Server

Hunting & Fishing Guides: for less than five consecutive hours in a day

Hunting & Fishing Guides: for five or more hours in a day whether or not the hours are consecutive

Homeworkers (people doing paid work in their home for an employer)

Current wage rate

$8.75/hour

$8.20/hour__

$7.60/hour

$43.75

$87.50

110% of the minimum wage

Mar. 31, 2009 wage rate

$9.50/hour

$8.90/hour__

$8.25/hour

$47.50

$95.00

110% of the minimum wage

On March 31, 2009, the general minimum wage will increase to $9.50 per hour from the current rate of $8.75 per hour.

To find out more about how the new minimum wage guidelines affect employers and employees, call or visit the Ministry of Labour web site. Paid for by the Government of Ontario

1-800-531-5551

www.ontario.ca/minimumwage

The top 20 per cent of men that had the highest calcium consumptions (about 1,530 milligrams per day) proved to have a 16 per cent lower risk of developing digestive cancers, as opposed to the 20 per cent who consumed the least (about 526 milligrams per day). Women in the top fifth percentile of calcium consumption (1,881 milligrams per day) had a 23 per cent lower risk of developing digestive cancers versus those in the bottom fifth (494 milligrams per day). The findings were particularly pronounced for colorectal cancer. “In conclusion, our findings suggest that calcium intake consistent with current recommendations is associated with a lower risk of total cancer in women and cancers of the digestive system, especially colorectal cancer, in both men and women,” writes researcher Yikyung Park, ScD. According to Health Canada, due to calcium’s known role in enhancing bone health, the recommended daily intake for adults over the age of 50 is 1,000 to 1,500 mg per day. In perspective, that would be equivalent to drinking four to five glasses of milk every day, as one glass has approximately 300 mg of calcium. Researchers also stated that breast cancer benefits were found from increased dairy consumption. Due to its potentially high anti-carcinogenic nutrients (such as vitamin D) and conjugated linoleic acid, dairy foods are thought to protect women against developmental breast cancer. With colorectal cancer being the third most common type of cancer after breast cancer, there is no doubt that this new study from the National Cancer Institute of America gives the health-conscious amongst us something to think about. So, the next time you find yourself standing in a Tim Horton’s line on campus ready for your morning caffeine fix, you may want to reconsider and opt for a carton of milk instead. It may not have the caffeine benefits, but you can be guaranteed that it’ll give you the healthy boost you need to potentially live a cancerfree life.


Sports & Living

Imprint, Friday, March 6, 2009 sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Warriors swim through nationals euphemia zhang

Caitlin McIntyre sports editor

T

he Warrior men’s swimming team saw six swimmers qualify for the Canadian Interuniversity Sport (CIS) Championship this year. Waterloo’s representing swimmers flew across the country to the University of British Columbia on Thursday, February 19 for the threeday competition, bringing back some impressive results. The two Waterloo relay teams, both the 4x100m free and medley consisting of Keith Beavers, Oleg Chernukhin, Paul Niglas and Wesley Greig, and the 4x200m with Beavers, Chernukhin, Yonathan Prajogo and Greg Gambino, brought back team bests in time and setting high standards for UW competitors to come.

More impressive still were the results of the individual swimmers, starting with Niglas, who competed in the 50m fly in B.C., placing 9th overall. This was a dramatic improvement for the swimmer, as he had qualified at 16th earlier that day. This impressive seven-place climb really attested to Niglas’ athletic ability as he shaved 30 hundredths of a second off of his Ontario Unviersity Athletics Championship time of 25.65 to finish at an impressive 25.31. Chernukhin also participated in events beyond his two relay trials, swimming in both the 100m and 50m back. Chernukhin started his 50m back meets with a 6th place qualifier, only to pull up his time of 25.93 for an impressive 5th place finish at 25.55. Chernukhin went on to power

through the 100m back preliminaries with a 4th place time of 55.75, qualifying at the head of the pack. He managed to keep a steady hold on his place through the finals, finishing the race at a time of 55.46 to put an end to his ‘09 Season. Finally, in what were perhaps the most impressive results of the meet, Keith Beavers, carrying multiple medals from his performance at the OUA, came out in first place in the men’s 200m individual medley (IM). Beavers’ qualifying swim had him finishing with an amazing time of 1:58.61, marking him as the man to beat at a first-place start. His final swim failed to disappoint, obliterating his preliminary time with a finish of 1:55.98, breaking through the IM CIS championship record, and landing him in first for the gold. His

time sliced nearly 30 hundredths of a second off the previous three-year standing record of 1:56.2 set by Brian Johns in 2003. Besides a gold medal and a new national record, Beavers’ time also allows him to go one step further in his swimming career, qualifying him for the Federation internationale du Sport Universitaire (FISU) games. He’ll have the opportunity to represent Canada in the International meet which will take place this summer in Belgrade, Serbia. This has been a great year for the Warrior swim team. With seasoned athletes and past Olympians leading the way for the team, they’ve managed to push to the OUAs and beyond, bringing back medals and establishing a name for UW in competitive swimming. OUA West Semi-Finals at #1 Western

Warrior Basketball At the season’s end

courtesy David Bernett

Brent Golem reporter

OUA West Quarter-Finals at #4 Guelph The Waterloo men’s basketball team kicked off playoffs last Wednesday, February 25, for the first round of sudden death playoff action. This game found the #5 seeded Warriors pitted against #4 rivals Guelph Gryphons. Both teams ended the season with 10­–12 records, but due to Guelph winning both regularseason match-ups, they took the #4 seed and the respective home court advantage. This didn’t prove to be much of an advantage and the Warriors fought their way to a 71–63 win, despite the fact that the Warriors had lost both previous match-ups, once by three points on January 17 and the other by a large gap of 15 points on February 7. Although they might look like the underdogs on paper, that was not the team feeling after a strong end to the regular season.

“Confidence is always a big thing in the playoffs. With it, we felt like we couldn’t be stopped,” seasoned Warrior forward Dan White told Imprint in an interview with the players. The Warriors knew the game was do or die and went to Guelph to win. Point guard David Burnett elaborated: “I don’t think there was any doubt that we were going to win. We went in there to win. Losing was not an option.” To win the game, the Warriors had to deal with the tough and strong physical play of the Gryphons. Waterloo had to come with a strong inside defense against Guelph’s Duncan Milne, which center Matt Hayes took to heart. Milne and Hayes had matched up four times this season, and with Milne graduating, Hayes wanted to dominate in their final meeting. Hayes grabbed seven rebounds and had three big blocks in the win. Burnett was sure to outline how important shutting down the inside game was. “Hayes had some big defensive plays that helped win us the game down the stretch,” he

said. Not only did the warriors need to worry about the inside game, but they also needed to neutralize three big outside shooters on Guelph. On offense, the Warriors saw an explosion of play from forward Dan White. White, suiting up in his potentially final game, gave everything he had to score a game-high 25 points and grab team-high nine rebounds. White said that it was “definitely a relief [to win]. We hadn’t been [to the playoffs] in three years and it was great to finally get a playoff win. It was pretty much do or die. If we lost it was the end of my career. It was desperation on my part.” There is no doubt that all the Warriors showed up to win. Forward Alan Goodhoofd scored 12 points and grabbed seven boards while shooting guard Cam McIntyre added 12 points to the win. “We weren’t satisfied with being in the playoffs. It’s not a consolation prize,” said Burnett. With the win, the Warriors headed off meet the Western Mustangs in a Saturday night game.

This time the Waterloo men’s basketball team headed to the University of Western Ontario for a Saturday, February 28 match-up against athe Mustangs, ranked #4 in Canada. There was no doubt that the Warriors were outmatched on paper; but as veteran forward Dan White put it, that didn’t matter. “We came confident,” White said. “We were on a run now, and if we won it was an upset, and if we lost we went home.” The Warriors played great and led for the first half of the game, but they ran out of gas in the second half on the way to losing the game 74–62. Waterloo was playing off three days rest and a tiring physical game against Guelph, while Western had a buy into the second round and was coming off a week of rest and preparation. It didn’t help that Western also had a strong inside game with four forwards who could start for any other team in the country. Waterloo came to play and matched the Western threat. The Warriors were fuelled by strong fan support and were leading 25–15 after the first quarter, and carried a three-point lead into the half. “The fan bus was huge,” forward Ben Frisbey said. “They also helped give us a lot of confidence.” The fans for Waterloo were strong and loud. One spectator, Kristen Hatt, mentioned “if Western didn’t have cheerleaders then they would have been silent.” Out of the half, the Warriors just couldn’t maintain their energy. After a few three pointers by Western and forward Alan Goodhoofd fouling out, things never seemed to turn around. The Warriors were out-rebounded 51–36. Although they didn’t win, Waterloo played a great game led by Cam McIntyre with 23 points. Matt Hayes was strong once again with 11 points and 7 rebounds. Hayes told Imprint how frustrating it was to lose. “Knowing we could beat the #4 was just frustrating,” he said. “Now we have to wait another four months to get another game like that.” The Warriors were not satisfied with giving Western a run for their money. Frisbey shared the team’s disappointment. “It was upsetting because we could taste the win. We were so

With the end of the season UW have established themselves as 10th ranked in the CIS National standings, holding strong to the position throughout the entirety of the championships. Not only that, but one of our Warriors has brought home the gold and progressed to an international level of competition. After a stellar run, the Warriors have to say goodbye to some of our national-goers; Chernukhin, Beavers, and Niglas are moving on from Waterloo when they graduate at the end of the year. The Waterloo swim team isn’t left completely high and dry, however, as swimmers Prajogo, Gambino, and Greig will hit the pool for us again next year. sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

close.” Warrior Men’s Basketball Season Recap Warrior basketball had quite a successful season. Although they were disappointed with the outcome and their record, there were definitely some highlights. The team started off the preseason with a bang by winning their home tournament, the Naismith Classic. Luke Kieswetter was named tournament MVP after the Warriors went 3–0 in the tourney against strong, playoff-bound teams from Alberta, York and UQAM. Cam McIntyre and Dan White showed the league what was to come as they netted positions on the tournament’s All-Star team. “It’s a big deal being able to win your own tournament,” commented White. The team took their great play to another preseason tournament in Laval where they only lost to juggernaut Carleton, which has won five of the past six CIS championships. The strong preseason was a blessing as the Warriors had failed to reach the playoffs in their previous two seasons; this year the team was playing at a much higher level. This year the team had all of their starters back and didn’t need to restart their offense. The team was able to play out of their system and didn’t have to relearn it. The key to their success was that “our maturity level changed. We worked harder and bought into the system,” said forward Dan White. The momentum continued into the season, and even though they dropped their season opener, the team went on a five-game winning streak. The Warriors tore apart their opposition including major blowouts against RMC (96–50), Laurentian (94–74), and York (90–76). During the run, Waterloo beat a U of T team that had bested them in three previous meetings. The Warriors definitely felt that they had something special on their hands. The run ended after losing to a #3 nationally-ranked Ottawa and then playing #1 nationally-ranked Carleton immediately the next night. Even though they were coming off a devastating loss the night before, the Warriors came out strong and was only three possessions down in their sevenpoint loss. Cam McIntyre dominated against the best team in the nation by dropping a game-high 29 points and shooting 50 per cent. See MEN’S B-BALL, page 24


Sports & Living

Imprint, Friday, March 6, 2009

Fielding medals reporter

W

ith one outstanding accomplishment after another; there’s no stopping UW’s Jason Goetz and Ryan Wight. Goetz broke a 20-year-old triple jump varsity record with a jump of 14.59m. This defeated the 1989 record out by .32m, which ranks him 2nd in the CIS, and also landed him a spot in the CIS championships that will be held on March 12-14. This was quite the accomplishment for Goetz seeing as he did not compete last year or place in the OUA championships for the

1000m race with a personal best time of 3:03.78 and won his last event high jump, with a jump of 1.95m. Each event gained Wight points and, with an overall score of 3151 points, he secured a bronze medal and was only 3 points behind silver. Being a pent-athlete is no easy task and how Wight manages to maintain it all is extraordinary. While interviewing him there’s a sense of pride, heart and determination that lies within him; It’s heart-warming and inspiring to see such a young man who knows no limits. Pushing himself to the limits he seems to enjoy every minute of it. Wight tells Imprint in an interview,

The championship was an excellent experience. Our small track team has a ton of team spirit. — Jason Goetz

last three seasons. “I’ve always been working towards that mark,” Goetz tells Imprint in an interview. “I needed to have a record jump to be competitive at the OUA’s and CIS.” Goetz is ranked 10th in the CIS for long jump and with his new triple jump record in place it leaves him only 3cm away from qualifying for the national championships. As any athlete knows, competing at such a high level is both an honour and an adventure. “The championship was an excellent experience. Our small track team has a ton of team spirit; Everyone’s cheering and support helps us all push ourselves a little further to achieve our best,” said Goetz. His best would not have been possible without a tremendous amount of heart and discipline. Goetz trains four times a week, on top of keeping up with his studies. Although a busy man, this is not the last we’ll hear of Jason Goetz. “I have a lot more to offer and come the CIS championships in Windsor I’ll be ready to perform.” As for Ryan Wight, he is named 8th on UW’s All-time best list for long jump. He competed in his first pentathlon of the year in York on February 27-28. Wight started off strong by placing 2nd in long jump with a jump of 6.53m. Ryan then threw his way to 6th in the shot put event with a put of 10.32m. In the 60m hurdles event he ended in 6th place with a personal best time of 9.92s. He also earned 6th place in the

Julia Gelfand

“I feel very gifted to be able to lead the group of athletes that we have on the track team this year. They’re an amazing bunch, and they’re very young. I know they’ll be successful in the future. I am also of one the last athletes that have had the privilege to be coached under the great Brent McFarlane. Although due to Parkinson’s, he only coached me for a year, he is truly an inspiration that you see in the faces of our coaches here. I’d like to thank our coaches for the countless hours they’ve put into helping us. they don’t have a full-time position, so all of them are basically working two jobs in order to train us.” Wight is a busy young athlete with 5-6 practices a week, recovery sessions twice a week, and weights 2-3 times a week. He also volunteers as an athletic therapist, works as a personal trainer at the PAC and volunteers at S.O.S. physiotherapy once a week. “I’m working hard to achieve athletic academic honour roll this term, which would be close to as big of an accomplishment as my bronze medal,” said Wight. “I completed co-op, which is no easy task being an athlete, and am working on completing a management studies minor. During the season, I pretty much go to class, work, study and train. I’m not able to go out and party or hit up bars.” It’s heart breaking to hear that such a school-driven athlete fell 0.39m away from making it to nationals.

Men’s Basketball: Late season rebound Continued from page 23

Forward Dan White felt the game was a success: “(It) showed us that we could play against anyone in the league. We almost beat them.” Point guard David Burnett (whose position calls the plays on offense and defense, like a quarterback) explained how the game improved the team. “It was a learning experience, because (Carleton) will always be good,” he said. “We learned from defending against what they were doing and what we were doing and how we can improve from there.” The team had a break for the holidays and came back with a vengeance. The team had to face a #6 ranked Windsor squad in enemy territory. The Warriors scrapped together a three-point win with an excellent team game coupled with great execution. The key to beating the strong Lancer squad was establishing their inside game, which allowed them to open up their outside game. It worked, as the Warriors were led by shooting guard Cam McIntyre with 19 points and center Matt Hayes, who almost achieved a double-double, with 13 points and 9 rebounds.

When our guards are hitting they have to respect them and then they stop double teaming me.” This was quite apparent as point guard David Burnett led the team to clinching a playoff spot with 18 points. “Normally I don’t shoot that much, but it happened that I got open looks and knocked them down,” said Burnett. “Matt (Hayes) was keeping them occupied down low and Dan (White) and (Ben) Frisbey got me open looks. Normally I’m trying to get them open looks but this time the roles were reversed.” Center Matt Hayes and forward Alan Goodhoofd both had a strong game posting 14 points 9 rebounds and 12 points 8 rebounds, respectively. The team finished off the season with a win against McMaster, which vaulted them into 4th place in their division. The wins in the final week created a lot of momentum and confidence. “It was a complete 180 from where we were a week ago. As soon as you’re in playoffs anything can happen,” Burnett explained. “We were playing well and felt we could go as far as we wanted and had nothing to lose. It doesn’t matter what our record is or what our previous stats are. If we

in which he led the team to victory with 25 points and 9 rebounds. “It was great because, one, it was a playoff game and, two, because it felt good to put the team on my shoulders and carry them.” Waterloo’s dominant center Matt Hayes, who was 2nd in Ontario and 4th in Canada for blocks, is back next season and looks forward to the best part of his game. “I liked being able to specialize on one thing and do it better than anyone on the team,” he said. “I like being an anchor on defense.” The Warriors have much to look forward to with Cam McIntyre returning. The guard was ranked 9th in Ontario by scoring 357 points and averaging 16.2 points per game. Point guard David Burnett also is returning and as he had 64 assists, ranking 12th in Ontario, shows he has the capability to lead the Warrior offense with great vision and play-making. “The best thing that happened to me was growth, as a point guard I learned what was successful and learned was wasn’t. It helped us to come together and build camaraderie,” Burnett said. “I hadn’t felt that in a couple that in a couple years and working as one unit trying to reach a common goal was very fulfilling.”

It was a complete 180 from where we were a week ago. As soon as you’re in playoffs anything can happen — David Burnett

From there the team hit rock bottom as they dropped their next five of six, including a couple winnable games against Guelph and Laurier. Waterloo ended up finding themselves heading into the final week one win behind Laurier (9-11) and sitting even with Brock (8-12), fighting for the final playoff spot. The team found themselves playing Laurier in the final week, and had been dominated by them 94-60 only one week prior. Payback was on the mind of the Warriors. “Basically, it was all about revenge. It was about gaining pride and getting wins,” Dan White told Imprint. The team won the game 78-69 without ever relinquishing their lead. The key to their success was playing as a team and playing with lots of energy. “I felt like our guards played a lot better than theirs,” Centre Matt Hayes explained. “Last game they beat us with threes, but this time our guards were the ones who did so well.

come out to play, then we can win.” Those attitudes stuck into the playoffs where the team beat Guelph before narrowly losing to Western. Shooting Ahead To The Future The season was a success and the team is looking to improve upon those results next season as they have four of their five starters back; only the valuable Dan White, who was one the team’s top scorers and rebounders, will need to be replaced. “It’s always good to end your career in a positive note. It’s nice to have a big contribution in my final year and it’s great leaving with a positive feeling,” White said. When asked if he felt the team can cope without him, he said “it‘s guaranteed that the team will be better next year, and I will be right there behind them screaming my head off.” His favourite memory of the season was the Guelph playoff game

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Forward Ben Frisbey also had some highlights this season. “Against Brock I shot my career high in points [with 19],” said Frisbey. “Guys had been on me to shoot more so I did and I scored.” Others in the cast are also optimistic, especially shooting guard Jordan Hannah, who added that “our chemistry is solid and we have the same returning cast. We won’t need that time to adapt; we’ll be ready to go out of the gate.” The basketball team is already looking forward to the upcoming season. They are eager to play rivals Laurier and Guelph, as well as go to play Mac at MacMaster since coach Tom Kieswetter, in his 17 years as head coach, has not been able to get a win there. One thing is for sure; the Warriors will come back stronger from this season’s experience. Those in Warrior nation can look forward to some strong domination next season.

Athletes of the Week

Saturday, April 4, 2009

St. George Banquet Hall 665 King Street North, Waterloo

Julia Malleck Track & Field 4th year, Arts & Business Kitchener, ON

Tickets (available at the PAC Office) March 9-20: $35 March 23-26: $40 Includes transportation

Tickets are non-refundable. Watcard and proof of age required

Jason Goetz Track & Field

Registered trademarks of Boston Pizza Royalties Limited Partnership, used under license. © Boston Pizza International Inc. 2005

IMPRINT | March 6

4th year, Geography & Env. Mgmt. Cambridge, ON


Comics & Distractions

Imprint, Friday, March 6, 2009

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50. Plant lifeblood 53. Three dots, three dashes, three dots 54. Professor’s assistant 56. Hitchhiker’s essential 57. State of heightened suggestibility 62. Sooner than 63. Songlike cry 66. Exclamation meaning “By God!” 67. Gave money 68. Farewell (French) 69. Three performers 70. Male deer 71. Awaits confirmation 72. Exchange for money 73. Small island Down 1. Spiced triangular turnover 2. Flat 3.Variation on a gene 4. Seed of cereal grass 5. Polynesian rain dance 6. Impressive 7. Built in at least two days 8. Arrogant person 9. Social prohibitions 10. Smell offensively 11. Site address 12. Nothing 13. List of answers 21. City in Portugal

Sudoku Paul Collier 1 8 1 8 4 7 5

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Feb 27 Cryptogram Solution Brevity is the soul of wit. — William Shakespeare

48. Writing tool 50. Perspires 51.Via the air 52. Formal promise 55. American news agency 57. Pay attention to 58. Meshes 59. Brutish club-bearing creature 60. Travel on water 61. Effigy 63. High-pitched bark 64. Lyric poem 65.Commotion 67. American unit of pressure

Feb 27 Crossword Solution 1

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22. Functioning 25. Hawaiian tuber 26. Warlike fantasy creatures 27. Alright 30.Vehicle 31. Avert; _____ off 32. Bass horn 33. Cancel prematurely 35. Ripped 36. Turns from side to side 37. Great Lake 39. Applies 40. Rounded hairdo 41. Steeped leaf beverages 46. Laurier faculty

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mathNEWS, we’re on to you Exhibit A: Poor Holden Karau just wanted what every mathie dreams of — a shot at mathNEWS fame. But did you embrace him with an open heart and willing mind? Alack, you would not take his base when it was offered up on a platter for you. Well, never fear! Imprint is here. Give us your poor, your tired, your huddled masses longing to be free... if mathNEWS won’t take them, that’s really saying something, but hey! From hell’s heart we stab at thee; for hate’s sake, we spit our last breath at thee... or maybe we’re just getting bored. Whatever. It’s still on! Bring it! (And Iron Warriors~ come out and play~!)

MATHIES MISS CONNECTIONS, TOO: Your SIGs weren’t getting through You had opened a pipe to me one night, saying you needed some records from my database. I tried to talk to slapd, but all I got was nscd who had some old info telling me you were good.Looking back, if nscd hadn’t been broken I would have known the truth, that your account was revoked, and I never would have accepted() your connection. I had barely started spooling the indexes from disc when the system administrator killed your process. It took me a long time to do the full-table scans, and figure out how to join the tables. I was so excited to give the data back, but the file handle was broken. Each time I tried to write back to you with what I’d found the kernel sent me a SIGPIPE. The default action, an abornmal termination, would have left init.d to respawn me, freeing me from the burden of carrying my messages for you, but I’d connected SIGPIPE to SIGIGN thinking you’d never go away on me and any error would be transient. I’ll be here writing to you until I get a SIGKILL and am reaped by my parent process. Please come back and re-open that pipe. Your devoted database engine, MyISAM


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Comics & Distractions

If you were a super hero, what super power would you have? By Julia Hawthornthwaite “Invisibility.� Kyle Cirone 2B Legal Studies

“The ability to understand women.� Steve DesChamp 1B Arts “An unlimited supply of money.� Priya Chandra 1B Applied Health Sciences

“Be able to change the weather to whatever I want!� Jess Singh 1B Honours Arts “I’d be Dr. Manhattan from Watchmen: he can do everything...and he’s blue!� Devon McDonald 1B Rhetoric & Communications

“The ability to fly.� Tauneet Khera 1B Arts “I’d want to be able to teleport.� Sarah Cheng Graduate Studies, MAcc “To read people’s minds.� Hatlie Cheung Graduate Studies, MAcc

“I would pay money to have her bitchslap me� — Travis Myers

Are YOU sassy enough for Shaniqua? distractions@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Imprint, Friday, March 6, 2009

Ask Shaniqua distractions@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Dear Shaniqua, My roommate and I are good friends and we have recently started to hook up, and rather frequently I might add. I was questioning if this was normal for awhile now, but after reading in your response to Infrequent last week that “once a week is plenty,� I snapped and had no choice but to write. Not to boast, but on average I stick it to her anywhere from a minimum of thrice daily during the week to up to seven times a day on weekends. Staggering I know, and if you believe it, would you care to shed light on this matter? I would be very grateful as everyone who I ask about this doesn’t know what to say. Hope to hear, The Train Um, Train, I don’t give a shit. No really. I don’t see a question. Are you bragging? Because if you’re going around “asking� all your friends about poking your roommate, it’s no surprise they don’t know what to say. Bragging about sex is pretty gross — unless you and your roommate are both beautiful people; in that case it is acceptable — but since you used the word “thrice� in your question I’m just going to assume you’re ugly. Plus beautiful people don’t need to brag about how much sex we get; people just know we get lots. Fucking your roommate is a dangerous game, hombre. Since you don’t have any real commitment, just fuck-buddy status, things can go south at any time. What if she reads this and isn’t impressed by you bragging to your pals and aunty Shaniqua? Then you are stuck with an angry force of nature down the hall who will no longer fuck you and has her name on the lease. There’s also the awkwardness of where your relationship is going. By living together you’re already eons ahead of some couples, but by only being fuck buddies you’re lagging behind others too. You’re in relationship-limbo (relationshimbo?) that will either end with you marrying a practice girl or bunking with someone who hates you. Good luck figuring your way out of this one. Shaniqua out. P.S. As for the frequency of your fucking, if you keep fucking three to seven times a day, she is going to get a yeast or bladder infection and you’ll wind up with pus-pudding for dinner. Jackass. Dear Shaniqua, What should I do? I see this guy on campus all the time. We cross paths on the daily, and it is the weirdest thing. It’s not like we just cross paths on Monday-Wednesday-Friday, it’s everyday. It is so weird. He is super attractive and I want to say hi, but I wonder if he notices we cross paths all the time too. I just realized the other day that he has a class right after one of my classes in the same room as mine. I went an entire month having no idea, and now I see him even more often because of our location of classes. So should I say something to this handsome fellow or should I just go on pretending I haven’t noticed our perhaps fatefully-driven crossing of paths? If I do say something to him, what do I say? Is it weird to say anything? I don’t know. Cheers. Curious Dear Curious, The way I see it you’ve really only got two options. You can continue to stalk this guy (intentionally or no, he’s probably starting to wonder why you are everywhere he is) or you can say something. If you choose to say something in lieu of staring from afar/boiling pet rabbit, you can have a lot of fun with it. Next time you’re in the Tim’s line fatefully next to him, open by saying that getting you a coffee is easier than shadowing you all the time. Or you could pull a Plain-Jane and “accidentally� bump into him and then mention that you see him around all the time after your classes let out. This opens the door for you to smile and say hi to him when you see him everywhere. When it bunny-boils down to it, you’ve got a million and one opportunities to let things spark between you and the mystery-man, it’s just up to you to make the first big move. Dear Shaniqua, Problem: The main reason guys notice me is because of my looks. But I don’t want boys to come to me because my legs are long, or because my ass looks hot. How do I get a boyfriend who wants me for me and not for my body or physical attractiveness? Hot to Trot Dear HTT, Solution: Shut the fuck up. What are you complaining about? The second guys stop noticing you at all, then give me a shout. Till then, enjoy what you’ve got — after all, you’ve got to find a husband, career and happiness before your looks fade and people start to expect anything real from you.

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Missed Connections are BACK! Send yours to: distractions@ imprint. uwaterloo.ca


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28

Comics & Distractions

Imprint, Friday, March 6, 2009

POSTSCRIPT

GRAHAM MOOGK-SOULIS

IMPRESSION, BY JIM & LAN

RUNAWAY RINGTOSS

LOOSE SCREWS

KURTIS ELTON

PETER N. TRINH

IN THE WEEDS

KEEGAN TREMBLAY

SONIA LEE & GEOFFREY LEE


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