Imprint_2006-10-27_v29_i15

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Christine Ogley and vĂŠronique lecat


Friday, october 27, 2006

news@imprint.uwaterloo.ca News Editor: Ashley Csanady News Assistant: Rachel McNeil

News Imprint

TNQ celebrates 100 issues Suzanne Gardner assistant editor-in-chief

Twenty-five years after founding editor Harold Horwood published the first issue of Canadian literary magazine The New Quarterly, the St. Jerome’s University-based magazine will publish their 100th issue late this fall season. A special project started in 1981 by Harold Horwood, a writer-in-residence at the University of Waterloo at the time, the publication called upon Canadian authors Farley Mowat and Edna Staebler for initial financial support and received $1,000 from each writer.The magazine, which became a not-for-profit publication in 2003, produces four issues per year with the help of a dedicated group of volunteer proofreaders, editors and board of directors, all of whom are led by editor-in-chief Kim Jernigan and managing editor Rosalynn Tyo. Jernigan has been with the publication since its second issue in the winter of 1982, when she volunteered to proofread while completing her master’s degree in English at UW. After Horwood left the magazine a few issues later, Jernigan took over as editor. Tyo began her tenure at the magazine as a co-op student for two consecutive summers. She later was hired as managing editor and has held this position for just over two years. Through a combination of an open submission process and solicitation of favourite authors to write on specific themes, The New Quarterly has received a strong reputation within the Canadian literary scene. “Every issue is part submission and part Kim,” explained Tyo. For each issue the magazine receives a few hundred submissions of both fiction and poetry which the editorial staff collectively reads every three months. After reading through the submissions, “if we have something truly helpful to pass on or something very encouraging, we will send comments [to the author],” said Tyo. “That’s why we get so many submissions — we have more submitters than subscribers — but I think that if we help them get better, then they will submit better pieces in the future.” Tyo further explained that because the magazine receives so many submissions, a piece submitted this week will most likely not be published until the spring 2007 issue. “It can take even up to a year [for a piece to be published],” Tyo said. “It’s just governed by space.” Although The New Quarterly’s 100th issue has yet to be printed, Tyo is already hard at work on the magazine’s winter publication, which will be a twinned issue with Alternatives, an environmental journal also based out of UW. Alternatives’ issue, titled “Creative Communities,” will hit newsstands in December 2006, while The New Quarterly’s issue, called “Artists as Activists” will not be available until Januaray 2007. Tyo also provided a sneak preview into what features will lay between the covers of The New Quarterly’s highly anticipated 25th anniversary issue.

Margaret Clark Kinga Jakab Dinh Nguyen staff reporters

New Zealand

In the small town of Inglewood, New Zealand, female residents recently faced a difficult predicament when the region’s only clothing shop stopped stocking women’s undergarments. Salvation was quite literally at hand, however, when a group of women associated with the community’s Anglican church had the brilliant idea of approaching the vicar with their plight. And though not in the realm of Reverend Gary Husband’s usual spiritual duties, the vicar quickly took charge of the town’s female underwear shortage, organizing a volunteer coalition that would drive ladies to the next nearest town, New Plymouth, which sits 20 km away. “We’re going to have what’s called a knicker run,” Rev. Husband explained on New Zealand’s National Radio. Part man of the cloth, part Fruit of the Loom? Ivory Coast

Two prisoners released from jail for a number of hours were married after they courted and fell in love through the peephole in an iron door. The two were being held in an Ivory Coast jail. Roland Guy Bouabre is serving a three-year sentence for stealing a bicycle, and his wife, Emilie Youbet, was given a one-year sentence for kidnapping a child. Youbet’s sentence expired two days after the wedding and she was set free from the Daloa prison. Youbet frequents the prison each day to bring food to Bouabre to compensate for the meagre prison meals. “You can find love in all kinds of places — even prison,” said Daloa prison guard, Norbert Bah. “He eats much better now.” The two fell in love while Bouabre was delivering groceries through the iron door for Youbet to cook. Getting hitched in prison is a great idea — if you’re into giving up one ball and chain for another. courtesy The New Quarterly

The editorial team’s original idea was to feature the public’s 25 most loved Canadian writers. Readers, editors, friends and family were invited to select their top five living Canadian authors, from which the editors would compile the list. “However, the public could not agree, and so we ended up with 56 authors instead,” explained Tyo. These 56 writers were sent virtual interviews to answer for inclusion in the issue, but many authors went above and beyond this request and also sent the publication various memorabilia, such as old manuscripts, child-

hood photos and even new pieces of poetry or fiction. The 100th issue will also include a feature on local artist Isabella Stefanescu, with a fullcolour replication of specific pages from her personal notebooks. Additionally there will be a feature on occasional verse, which is poetry that is written for a specific occasion. This special issue will also be in full colour and is larger than regular issues of the publication; the 100th issue weighs in around 240 pages. See QUARTERLY, page 4

Bomber freezing out underagers Sukhpreet Sangha reporter

The Bomber has instituted a new policy whereby all students under the age of 19 cannot remain inside past 7 p.m. At 7 servers circulate the restaurant and check IDs, asking those underage students to leave. If students are in the middle of dinner they are allotted a grace period in which to finish their meal before they must leave. The policy was established in May, before the Bomber’s renovations, and implemented

this past September after its re-opening. Not only does the new policy affect individual students wishing to dine out, but student associations also. Many student societies hold activities at the Bomber due to its convenient location but most last past 7 p.m., meaning new frosh members of the group will be forced to leave their own club’s outings early. According to John D. Walker, director of business operations and chair of the alcohol committee, the policy was brought to the alcohol committee by Feds and Campus Bar

Operations people but he’s “not exactly sure who originated it.” In fact, no one seems to know whose idea the policy was. Since the policy originated last term, the old Feds executive were the ones who handled it, leaving the current Feds Exec unsure of its origin as well. However, Del Pereira, day manager at the Bomber, did say that “[the policy] is from the University of Waterloo, it’s not anything to do with us,” and that “it’s not like we knew, it’s like one day they were like ‘here’s a memo.’ ” See BOMBER, page 5

US

A toddler recently wound up in a vending machine after failing to fish out a SpongeBob SquarePants stuffed doll. Three-year-old Robert Moore, using a plastic crane claw in a vending machine, attempted to win SpongeBob but was unsuccessful. After witnessing her grandson’s failed attempt, Moore’s grandmother left to get change so her grandson could try again. According to the Canadian Press, while under no adult supervision the toddler took off his coat and squeezed into an opening in the vending machine. Moore landed in the stuffed animal cube. Store employees immediately went on a search to locate the vending machine key but could not find it. The grandmother and her grandson had no choice but to wait for local firefighters to arrive. Despite his age and awkward situation, Moore stayed calm. He sat in the machine playing with stuffed animals. Moore was ultimately rescued when firefighters broke one of the locks and passed the boy a screwdriver, which he used to free himself. Sadly, the SpongeBob SquarePants could not also be retrieved. mclark@imprint.uwaterloo.ca kjakab@imprint.uwaterloo.ca dnguyen@imprint.uwaterloo.ca


news

Quarterly: looking ahead Continued from page 3

When asked about the main ways The New Quarterly has changed in its 100 issues, long-time member of the publication, editor-in-chief Jernigan, articulated her thoughts: “I think we’ve become more ourselves and less concerned with what other magazines think. We take more chances now and we try new things, both of which only come with confidence and connections.” Jernigan also expressed her hopes that within the next 100 issues, the magazine will become “more financially viable and be able to employ more paid staff.” Currently the only paid employee is Tyo, who is receiving a three-year grant from the Ontario Trillium Foundation. Tyo is quick to note that while the magazine is not the oldest literary magazine in Canada, it is definitely one

of the veterans, which is a hard status to achieve as many magazines of this genre flounder after a few years. Along with the support of many dedicated volunteers, including a recently founded board of directors, Tyo cites two key factors in how The New Quarterly has remained a successful publication for so many years: St. Jerome’s University in conjunction with the University of Waterloo, and Kim Jernigan. Approximately five years ago, when the publication was undergoing a financial crisis and lost its office space at UW’s writing centre in the PAS building, St. Jerome’s University offered The New Quarterly free office space. “The free space from St. Jerome’s is a huge help, as it helps us keep our overhead down,” explained Tyo. “The other largest factor is Kim. She is just really committed to Canadian literature,” Tyo said. sgardner@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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FRIDAY, october 27, 2006

Sombre note for convocation Ashley Csanady news editor

The convocation ceremony this past Saturday, October 21, was a culmination of years of hard work for some, an honour for others and, for some it was a bittersweet day of remembrance. UW’s 93rd convocation graduated over 1,300 students — including one posthumously: Katharine Marshall, a psychology student who died last April as a result of injuries sustained in a car crash. Instead of being in the midst of midterms this fall, Marshall’s parents were accepting a general BA on her behalf. Marshall, who would be in her 3A term, had completed enough courses before her death to enable the university to present her parents with the posthumous degree. Her mother Nancy Marshall, said the family’s reaction to the news that Katherine would be awarded the degree was “amazed.” She explained the posthumous degree was professors Dickson and Stotz’s idea. She said the family was amazed they should such consideration for Katherine and her family. “[It] caught us by surprise that they would do that for her,” said Nancy. She said that when the whole auditorium applauded the presentation of the degree “it should have been Katherine they were applauding, not us.” She added how the degree made her feel students at UW are “not just a number ... this is proof those teachers are rooting for their students.” The Katherine Marshall Award has been created in her memory from donations by faculty, staff and students. Nancy explained that it was originally intended to be a one-time award, but they collected enough for three years. The award will be given to three psychology students who manage to have time to volunteer on top of their school work. Nancy explained they don’t have to be the smartest students, but those who demonstrate a passion for psychology. “[Katherine] really would have been thrilled ... [it] would have just suited Katherine 100 per cent,” said Nancy of the award. Of her experience at convoca-

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Students attended convocation October 21 in the PAC. tion, Nancy explained how kind the university was to her family. That they got a special parking space and ushers were waiting for them at the reserved seats. “It was a bittersweet day for us,” she concluded. Convocation had a more cheerful tone to it as well. Two of the annual alumni gold medals were awarded to the top PhD and master’s students. Lusaskz Golab, computer science PhD student and Evan Frank Risko, recent recipient of a Masters in Psychology, were this year’s recipients. The James D. Leslie Prize for academic excellence in UW’s distance education was awarded to Andrew Kidd. Hailing from Blind River, Ontario, he is receiving $500

for completed a minimum of 50 per cent of his credits through distance education and attaining first-class standing. For his efforts in advancing health promotion and disease prevention globally, health promotor and innovator Larry Green was awarded a doctorate of science. Renowned poet, playwrite and literary critic and UW graduate, George Elliot Clarke, was awarded a doctorate of letters (DLitt). UN High Commissioner for human rights, Louise Arbour, was the key note speaker for the day. She was also honoured for her acheivements with an honorary doctorate of laws (LLD). acsanady@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Trick-or-Treating no longer university taboo Emma Tarswell staff reporter

Remember those days when you could go out and trick-or-treat and nobody batted an eye? If you’re looking to recapture those days and want to help the UW Food Bank, come out on Halloween to participate in the UW Food Bank’s Trick-or-Eat. Going into its fourth year at UW, Trick-orEat is a Food Bank organized event that allows students to dress up and go out on Halloween night to collect non-perishable food for their local food bank and the 2.4 million people who go hungry in Canada. Over 40 university campuses take part in this event and hundreds of students volunteer each year. The event began at UW in 2002 and since then “it has grown from a Food Bank co-ordinator with her own car picking up food with only a few volunteers to last year, where about 6,000 pounds of food was given, then sorted and shipped to the Waterloo Region Food Bank,”

according to Arthur Poon, UW Food Bank co-ordinator.

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Poon suggests three ways in which students can get involved. “The first way is to help out with the advertising of Trick-or-Eat. All advertising is good advertising and students can help out by flyering the neigh-

bourhood or merely by spreading the word. The more volunteers the better. The second way is to show up on Halloween and actually walk a route and pick up food. We have a ton of prospective routes, so the more volunteers, the better the event will be. The third way is to help sort, count and pack the food, so it can be shipped off to the Waterloo Region Food Bank.” Students who want to participate but fear missing out on Halloween celebrations can still help as the trickor-eating ends early, usually around 7 or 8 p.m. Poon also wants to remind all students that it’s for a good cause and students are often given candy while collecting food. Students hoping to help out on Halloween night can stop by the UW Food Bank located in room 2108 in the SLC or e-mail the food bank at foodbank@feds.uwaterloo.ca. They can also show up that night between 5 p.m. and 7 p.m. to volunteer. etarswell@imprint.uwaterloo.ca


news

FRIDAY, october 27, 2006

Medical language under the scope Rachel McNeil assistant news editor

The issue is common enough: you head to the doctor’s office with a couple of aches and pains but, after referrals to various specialists and the prescriptions that coincide, you discover that your problem is an actual medical condition. Now if only you could have deciphered what caused it through all the mumbo-jumbo medical babble — or even its proper name! This is where Catherine Schryer, a University of Waterloo professor of English language and literature with expertise in rhetoric, enters the picture with her new research project on the impact of language within medical relationships, whether concerning both doctors and patients or just simply between professionals. The project, Crossing Borders: Sites of Discursive Negotiation in Healthcare Practice, is sponsored by the Social Sciences and Humanities Research Council of Canada and includes three case studies to investigate certain consequences of ineffective communication. The first case study investigates how referral letters are written and received between optometrists and ophthalmologists. The second studies reports by pediatricians and how they are perceived by social workers, police, lawyers and judges. Meanwhile, the third focuses on electronic medical records and their importance within a cancer care clinic. The initial objective was to discover how medical terms might function as “boundary objects,” but Schryers’ investigative team is discovering that doctors are often maintaining their professional boundaries from patients by referring to them as objects. “Doctors do need to keep some

distance between themselves and their patients. However, the case presentation system may tend to objectify patients. The medical professional may refer to patients not as the ‘people in such-and-such ward’ but as the ‘cystic fibrosis in such-and-such ward’ or refer to child patients’ mothers collectively as ‘the moms,’ ” said Schryer, Yet, this professional distancing is only one issue in the grand scheme of miscommunication, which also occurs partially because of information reorganization. Schryer explains, “What we are finding is that when the members of these professions transfer information from their patients or clients to other professionals, they rearrange it. They almost never present cases in the order in which the patients have reported on their health or injury problems.” While a medical translation of a common ailment explanation may enable easier communication between professionals, the patients with the problems are oftentimes left clueless. Similarly, doctors only deal with information that definitily relates to the issue. Thus, by deleting certain details, they may be increasing the chances of someone relaying incorrect information along the line. Certainly, this project is causing Schryer to wonder how miscommunication may prove detrimental to the patient later on though, for now, her pondering remains just that. She will continue to study medical records, case presentations, regulatory documents reports and letters to help bridge the gap between medical professionals and the people they serve. After all, what good is a cure without proper communication?

Mr. Walker stated that “it was decided to implement it and monitor it to see how it goes,” while Feds vice-president administration and finance, Renjie Butalid speculated that the policy may have come as a result of the large number of students regularly caught drinking underage at the Bomber in past years, resulting in their being banned from the establishment. Unfortunately, Mark Thususka, manager of campus bars, and Lee Elkas, director of Food Services, could not be reached for comment on the exact reasoning behind the decision. Butalid also said that “the policy further highlights the fact that alcohol is an issue on campus when it shouldn’t be and serves as a warning that students shouldn’t be drinking underage at all on campus.” Many underage students are upset by the policy and feel that they are being unfairly discriminated against. “We have a One Waterloo campaign [encouraging inclusion]... but on the other hand we don’t consider you a student until you’re 19 and

Waterloo an orgy of student influence

I had an interesting conversation with some neighbours this week. A house in our neighbourhood sold in the midst of a bidding war. Given that our neighbourhood is a brisk 20 minute walk from campus, the usual bogey quickly sprang to mind: what if it becomes a student house? There are a few reasons why I doubt that that house in particular will become a student house, but our neighbours were justified in their worry. As the housing stock rose, the traditional student neighbourhoods became unavailable and landlords looked elsewhere. By last count, our immediate neighbourhood has at least four full-fledged student houses and several others with boarders. While students are never likely to outnumber the long-term residents, if organized they could be a formidable force. Depending on who you talk to, Waterloo’s population hovers around 100,000. The combined population of UW and WLU is between 30,000 and 40,000 graduate and undergraduate students. There is a large degree of overlap since both universities draw a large proportion of their students from the long-term population. The ratio is large enough that some students advocated for a separate student seat on the local municipal council when the issue of council expansion came up a few years ago.

It would have been a revolutionary, at least municipally, form of representation by demographics rather than by geography. Instead, Waterloo’s wards were redrawn with the universities in separate wards. In a relatively small city like Waterloo, it’s not hard to find an issue that doesn’t affect the student community. Consider the following issues: housing, noise bylaws, bicycle lanes, on street parking overnight, property standards, bus routes… the list could be endless. To whom these issues should be addressed can be confusing given the division of responsibilities between the regional and municipal councils. Housing, parking and property standards are municipal issues. Transit and garbage collection are regional issues. Other issues like trails and bicycle lanes vary depending on who owns the right of way. It is also important to vote for school trustees. Though students don’t likely have children in school, they should nevertheless be aware of those students who come behind them.

While trustees can’t affect the curriculum, they affect the overall experience. As recent public school survivors, we have an idea of what works and what doesn’t. Beyond the idea of voting to influence the issues that affect students, why should students vote? A voting student body shows that we care about the city in which our university sits. Even though we may not be here in a few years, we do have duty to look out for those students who are going to come after us. Think of it as an electoral legacy. However, students, like the wider public, have a difficult time studying the candidate profiles largely due to time constraints. The municipal elections come during the final three week count-down to the end of term. When given the choice between writing the term paper or casting a ballot, the term paper usually wins (that is, unless you’re looking for an excuse to procrastinate). For more infor mation on school trustees and their affects on Waterloo students, visit: www. mywaterlooregion.com nmoogksoulis@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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Bomber:kids,no dinner after 7 p.m. thanks to policy changes Continued from page 3

that’s when we let you into our bars” : the sentiment of the student body paraphrased by Butalid, who says he has received a fair amount of e-mails from students upset with the policy. Butalid is meeting with Walker and Elkas this week to further discuss the policy and the student body’s opinion of it. He hopes that “this matter can be resolved so that all parties can get what they hope for and students don’t get the short end of the stick.” The policy is open to change, as all resolutions passed by the alcohol committee can be brought back to be re-considered and perhaps adjusted. As to how the committee will know whether or not the policy is going well, Walker claims “if the students aren’t happy they’ll make it known.” Input from Feds and the Bomber management group will also be solicited to determine the policy’s effectiveness. Meetings of the alcohol committee are held roughly every two months, with the next one slated to be sometime in November.

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Friday, october 27, 2006

opinion@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Opinion Editor: Paul Marchwica Opinion Assistant: Ryan Webb

Friday, October 27, 2006 — Vol. 29, No. 15

Contemporary complacency

Student Life Centre, Room 1116 University of Waterloo Waterloo, Ontario N2L 3G1 P: 519.888.4048 F: 519.884.7800 imprint.uwaterloo.ca Editor-in-chief, Tim Alamenciak editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Advertising & Production Manager, Laurie Tigert-Dumas ads@imprint.uwaterloo.ca General Manager, Catherine Bolger cbolger@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Editorial Staff Assistant Editor, Suzanne Gardner Cover Editor, Anya Lomako Photo Editor, Tiffany Li Assistant Photo Editor, vacant Graphics Editor, Christine Ogley Assistant Graphics Editor, Véronique Lecat Web Editor, Mohammad Jangda Assistant Web Editor, vacant Systems Administrator, Gautam Khanna Sys. Admin. Assistant, Victor Ng Lead Proofreader, Emma Tarswell Proofreaders Shivan Hoad, Adrienne Raw Production Staff Micheal L. Davenport, Jacqueline McKoy, Jeanette deBoer, Linda Kong Ting, Steven R. McEvoy, Paul Collier, Ryan Nahlé

Buddha said something along the lines of “Life is suffering.” I’m picking up what he’s putting down and all, but the current trend in society is to alleviate this suffering as much as possible. I think we’re missing the point. Suffering as a bad thing is a common misconception. Suffering in moderation is great – it makes us who we are. Without suffering, there wouldn’t be fantastic scar conversations and tall tales told by friends around half-price pitchers. Take the recent commercials by Lexus for their fancy-dancy automatic parallel parking system as a prime example of this. All my conspiracy theories aside, a car that takes care of the single most daunting task of any 16-year-old undercuts vital teen angst. Parallel parking was one of those few, fine parental bonding moments for me. Having my mother screaming in the seat beside me as I nearly took off the bumper of the car behind me simply cannot be replaced. We were stronger for having had the experience.

This is in no way satirical. The technological and social alleviation of sometimes-expensive moments in life circumvents the growth of a person. But the Lexus is just the start. One’s path is easily laid out from birth. There are clear steps to success — the educational system is a core component of this path. You pick a goal, work a little bit to get grades and money and your white picket fence will arrive in 4-6 weeks. Life is a beautifully packaged extra-value meal, complete with the toys that parallel park themselves. Maybe I’m joining the ranks of old fogeys. I’m already starting to feel geriatric at the tender age of 21. There’s no more romance either — but that’s mostly because of OnStar and eBay. You run out of gas while driving your sweetheart, who you e-mailed about this date, to the movies. Instead of having to trudge to the nearest service station to the soundtrack of heartfelt conversation, you push a button and wait for the OnStar machine to find your car via GPS and send out some gas. Occupy yourselves with a 6-speaker surround system complete with DVD player, and the magic has officially been digitized. Anyone ever watch Captain Power? And eBay. Fuck scalpers, just bid for the tickets. No more seedy backalley conversations about scoring passes to the latest Manowar show.

A couple clicks of the mouse and it’s over. Technological comfort seems like a harmless thing. Maybe you’re not as old-fashioned as me and prefer having a sultry mastered voice from a GPS tell you where to turn instead of blindly cruising small backwoods towns, but there’s something to be said for getting lost once in awhile. Erecting padded walls around our paths only serves to weaken the members of our society. Through sterilization, our sense of gratification changes. Suddenly, an off-handed comment on a blog replaces a well-researched and well-written response. Setting up an organized online “protest” gives as much gratification as painting cardboard signs. But the results are never the same. Offhanded comments might serve to ignite the fires of the interweb masses for the ever-shortening duration of our attention spans. Lasting change can only be accomplished through a concerted grassroots effort — not through machines that park your car. It all starts with good intentions. Why not make someone’s day a little easier? Maybe park their car for them? The next thing you know, society is apathetic during its best times. At worst, it shows a voter turnout under 20 per cent for municipal elections. editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

John Lee

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Board of Directors board@imprint.uwaterloo.ca President, Jeff Anstett president@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Vice-president, Adam Gardiner vp@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Treasurer, Jacqueline McKoy treasurer@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Secretary, vacant secretary@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Staff liaison, Darren Hutz staff.liasion@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Imprint is the official student newspaper of the University of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. Imprint is a member of the Ontario Community Newspaper Association (OCNA). Editorial submissions may be considered for publication in any edition of Imprint. Imprint may also reproduce the material commercially in any format or medium as part of the newspaper database, Web site or any other product derived from the newspaper. Those submitting editorial content, including articles, letters, photos and graphics, will grant Imprint first publication rights of their submitted material, and as such, agree not to submit the same work to any other publication or group until such time as the material has been distributed in an issue of Imprint, or Imprint declares their intent not to publish the material. The full text of this agreement is available upon request. Imprint does not guarantee to publish articles, photographs, letters or advertising. Material may not be published, at the discretion of Imprint, if that material is deemed to be libelous or in contravention with Imprint’s policies with reference to our code of ethics and journalistic standards. Imprint is published every Friday during fall and winter terms, and every second Friday during the spring term. Imprint reserves the right to screen, edit and refuse advertising. One copy per customer. Imprint ISSN 0706-7380. Imprint CDN Pub Mail Product Sales Agreement no. 40065122. Next board meeting: TBA

Bachelors in being a trophy wife Everyone has his or her own motivations for attending university. Some people come because they want to change the world, others because they want to make millions of dollars and others because they have a thirst for knowledge. Some, apparently, attend university not for its education purposes, but as a high-priced matchmaking service — to receive their MRS degree. My only response was an indignant, “What!?” when one of my friends relayed a tale of her experience with an MRS major. I couldn’t believe they still existed. In her first year, her roommate brought home four different guys within the first four days. Number four was apparently “Mr. Right” — once she learned he was planning on pursuing a law degree. According to my friend, after discovering her potential ideal husband, her roommate began to completely disregard her school work, and instead she focused on how she would decorate their future home and discussed how much she was looking forward to a becoming a housewife — she strived to attain her Mrs. instead of her BA.

This kind of ‘50s logic seems amiss in the modern world. I understand that for my grandmother’s generation, university education for women was, generally, a formative experience with the expectation that you would find a husband. There were exceptions, of course, but at a time where women weren’t allowed to work in most professions, it was an unfortunate, but common, occurrence. These days, when women can pursue any career path they desire, it’s baffling to hear that someone is spending upwards of $30,000 in tuition costs and living expenses to attain a degree that means nothing to them. Not only that, it degrades the fight for the equal treatment and opportunity for women in the education system. This isn’t an isolated incident either. Another friend relayed an account of an acquaintance of hers who attended the University of Guelph for several years with absolutely no intention of ever using her degree — except in her wifely duties of course. I’ve seen girls in class, with hair and makeup that clearly took hours, sending text messages to their neighbour, distracting those around them and all I can think is: what are you here for? Now I know, a degree in spouse-hood. Education is a privilege. We are fortunate enough to live in a society where women are afforded equal access to education as men; in many countries around the world, women are not bestowed the same luxury. I don’t understand how someone can trivialize the immense opportunity that university is by

focusing not on their growth as a person, but on their marital status. I have a friend who admits that finding a husband is in the back of her mind while she pursues her studies — she does have an adamant desire to become a teacher, so I would qualify her as more of an MRS minor. She doesn’t plan on wasting her degree, so her quest seems to be more a reflection of societal expectations to “settle down” by the time she’s in her late twenties. In her defence, a lot of people do find a spouse at university. You often encounter people with similar interests and goals, so it’s not exactly shocking that marriage can bloom from relationships begun during university. While a lot of people find authentic affection and love in university, making that your goal can’t be described in any words but wrong and archaic. It also seems very fabricated — if you pursue someone with the sole goal of becoming their trophy wife, how genuine is that relationship? I have never encountered a full-on MRS major, and I hope I never do — I doubt I could keep my disdain and indignation at bay. There are easier ways to get your MRS, ladies: go to a bar and give up your spot to someone who really wants it and save daddy’s money — or better yet, donated to a worthy cause like girls in Asia and Africa who can’t attend university because their family can only afford to send one child, the boy. acsanady@imprint.uwaterloo.ca


opinion Living it up even when you can’t pay it down

FRIDAY, october 27, 2006

The path of a student is certainly an onerous one. There is a plethora of new responsibilities that one must deal with. From cooking for one’s self to doing laundry, or fending off rabid geese consumed with an unholy bloodlust, it is a perilous path to walk. For many this also heralds an era of vastly increased financial responsibility. This is why I must take time out to salute the selfless men and women who offer their time and effort to push on us what we all really need in these dark times — an increased burden of debt. The “gauntlet” as it’s often been referred to, is the stretch in the Student Life Centre where vendors set up shop to peddle their wares. It has been a staple of my experiences here at Waterloo. The most important of these outlets is, of course, the credit card companies who make it possible for me to spend to my heart’s (if not my bank account’s) content.

These glorious cards allow us to live beyond the limits of our diminutive means and into a hedonistic orgy of consumption. The thousands of dollars OSAP doles out each term usually end up getting wasted on tuition housing and books, leaving very little left over to really live it up. This is where the credit card companies step in to lend a helping hand. They give you money you don’t have to spend on stuff you can’t actually afford. Think about the last time you were at a pub and ran out of cash. No worries, you can just leave your card at the bar and start a tab. Nothing bad has ever come from that. Your sense of judgment will never be as sharp as it will be at that time. If you don’t do that, you’re an idiot. As if their generosity of offering free money wasn’t enough, these delightful companies even offer free T-shirts and water bottles for those who sign up. They offer patriotic Canada themed t-shirts, of course, as there is nothing more Canadian than crippling debt. The great thing about putting things on your credit card is that you don’t have to worry about paying it back for a month. A whole month! That’s 30 days, 720 hours, 43200 minutes, 2,592,000 seconds and almost 1.4*1051

planck scale time intervals to pay that back. At this point, I have to ask, what part of “free money” do you economic obligationazis with a hard-on for fiscal responsibility not understand? The quintessential student is generally fairly poor subsisting mainly on Kraft Dinner, Ramen noodles and drinking the tears shed from abject poverty. In this state of inadequate nutrition, the concept of being given money to spend makes us easy targets. A 23 per cent interest rate easily gets choked out of your thoughts with the prospect of eating a meal that hasn’t been prepared with the aid of microwave radiation. Worrying about a budget is the last thing I want when I have a string of assignments and exams as long as… as long as the time it takes me to think of a non-sexual analogy. It’s these situations where I would much prefer to just default to handing someone a card in exchange for food. Maybe default is the wrong word to use… I’m Brendan Pinto and I’m single (which coincidentally will be the number of dollars in my account once I pay down my mounting interest), so tell your friends. bpinto@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

God is a crutch to those looking for meaning

Does it matter if God exists? No, not even in the slenderest, most subtle of ways. The pursuit of God is reflected a selfish species called humanity, that upon recognizing its own mortality cries out, “Why!? But what comes next?” How selfish is the belief that each human gets not only a lifespan on Earth, but also a whole eternity afterwards? Perhaps it is the instinct of survival that we share with all species that leaves us restless, unable to deal with the feeling of finality that hangs over our lives.

Doesn’t art in its very nature challenge us about our place on this planet by confronting us with anything that doesn’t have a purpose? Do we identify with the purposelessness of the art we create and hope that maybe it actually does mean something? Perhaps we search out significance in the realm of art to better articulate our own existence, in terms of some higher purpose far above survival. In the existence of God we are begging for answers to explain death, our purpose in life and the generally unexplained. Yes, we displace our attention to both the mysterious and the unanswerable to avoid the frightening reality we inhabit every day of our lives — only more frightening is the thought that it all might one day end. While this world view may seem dark and void of spirituality, don’t

expect a light at the end of the tunnel, because remember: half the stars in the sky might already be dead; we’re just seeing their dying light. If there’s any value to the question at all, it may be in the pursuit of an answer — but not if you ever let anyone answer that question for you. Find what you’re looking for using your own judgment and your own reasoning. The existence of God may not matter, but that does not mean your life is worth nothing just because you don’t have a ready explanation for why you are here. Deity or not, each person has the power of choice within their situation — and that is enough to build a life out of what we have, a life that holds whatever significance we are willing to build from the ground up. — Ivan Merrow

Provincial voting system put to the vote in that riding is left unrepresented. This encourages insincere voting, where the voter might feel pressured to vote for a party that they don’t prefer to avoid another party coming to power. A majority of Canadians are underrepresented by our current system, making our government unaccountable and unresponsive to the electorate. One way of beginning to address these deficiencies is to change our voting system. Contrary to popular belief, it is not just the supporters of the smaller parties who are not being represented in government. In the 2004 election there were 300,000 ballots cast for the Conservative party in Quebec, yet none of those votes resulted in a seat for the Conservatives. Implementing change is the only way to help our country to move forward and to make our government accurately represent the political views of its citizens. If you are interested in more information on this topic, attend Fair Vote Canada’s public event being held at the University of Waterloo November 2 in Arts Lecture Hall, room 208. — Rebecca Murrant

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Canadians are generally more reserved when discussing politics than our southern neighbours, but ask the right question and nearly every person has something to say about our current government, leaders and political system. But, so many of these people are not being heard in parliament. This is due to declining voter turnout and a system that fails to fairly represent those who do vote. The Ontario Provincial Government recently put together a Citizens’ Assembly to assess its electoral system. The Ontario Citizens’ Assembly on Electoral Reform has been meeting since September 11, but how many people know about these meetings? Or what they are meant to achieve? And how many Canadians would be able to accurately explain our current electoral system to a non-Canadian?

The Citizens’ Assembly is made up of 103 ordinary Ontarians from each of the electoral districts (52 female and 51 male, with at least one First Nations member, and the male chair). The Assembly is independent from the government and has been charged with examining the current electoral system and learning about other systems. They will meet about twice a month for eight months after which they will make their recommendation, either to keep our current system or to adopt a new one. If the Assembly recommends the adoption of a new electoral system, the government will put the question to a vote in a province-wide referendum by October 2007. Canada currently runs on a single member plurality system, a.k.a. first past the post (FPTP), in which the candidate in the riding with the most votes wins the seat and the leader of the party with the largest number of seats in Parliament becomes the Prime Minister. This system is often referred to as being based on the “winner-takeall” principle. In each riding only the group of voters who voted for the winning candidate send a representative to government; every other voter

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opinion

Depressing is the new blue

Last week, there was an interesting little editorial that appeared in Imprint’s opinion section; a work of satire that attempted to poke queer little holes in GLOW, and interesting little sidesnipes at myself. To touch upon the highlights, I am apparently pitiful and boring, merely the token Imprint activist fag, who really ought to be more of a “tweaked-out workout-junkie with a faux hawk, Parasuco jeans and nine per cent body fat churning out catty commentary on Kirsten Dunst as Marie Antoinette and how it relates to what [I’m] planning on wearing out this weekend.” Now, were I to truly live up to all of these bois’ worldly desires, you could surely expect me to take up this space exploding in a truly fabulous array of multi-coloured verbosity, noting that their knowledge of their chosen topics is sorely lacking, as Parasuco is so tired as to be nearly retired, and that they ought to be focusing their attention (and sizable bank coffers) upon the far more worthy Dolce and Gabbana, whose most recent ad

campaign featuring the truly lickable Chad White has once again made them the hippest thing to adorn whatever you have riding below your hips. All this would come before noting that picturing Kirsten Dunst as a trumped up, pseudo-regal, hussy requires no stretch of the imagination at all, and wonder openly if she is attempting to usurp Judy Dench’s rightful title of “Dame” — a catfight which would be far more entertaining then anything these two damsels have produced within recent memory. Of more interest to me would be the news that McSteamy and McDreamy have been joined by McQueenie in the Grey’s Anatomy cast with the recent coming out of T.R. Knight, and wonder if the recent on-set fistfight between the two male co-stars of the show was over “T.R.’s ‘Territory.’” I would then, sadly, need to sign off, noting that I was being literally dragged away by my personal trainer (who was concerned about my ab definition) and leave you with a tantalizing tidbit for next week: “Roid Rage — Worth It?” I could do all that. But I’m sorry to say that if this is what you are truly looking for, you’re going to need to look elsewhere, because that is not who I am. I am not a gym bunny. I don’t get out to the gym nearly as often as I should. I don’t count carbs or worry about whether I need more whey powder in the morning power shakes

that I don’t have. In fact, I have a bit of a gut and — the sin of all sins — chest hair. Oh, the horror! I’m not a fashionista. In my own defence, I do own a bona-fide pair of Parasuco jeans, but they’re a couple years old, and have a hole in one knee that was not specifically intended by a gay French designer. I also wear things from The Gap and Old Navy, and gain far more pleasure crushing my hair under a fifteen dollar H&M hat (à la my year-old columnist photo) than I do fussing in front of the mirror for an hour every morning. I’m also not a Hollywood junkie. While I may have a poster of Johnny Depp adorning one wall, I can’t stand E! Hollywood and I definitely can’t stand the Canadian version featuring the sneering face of Ben Mulroney. On the other side of the coin, I can break out into a truly startling lisp at the drop of a hat (when so inclined), and I did my years worth of service at the gayest position within the service industry: Starbucks. I own every season of Queer as Folk on DVD, tucked between Amélie and X-Men. I can triple-snap like nobody’s business, cook up a small storm, do a fair impression of interior design, and own a startlingly large amount of products from The Body Shop. I also maintain an excellent relationship with my mother.

FRIDAY, october 27, 2006

BARFLIES

Ian Blechschmidt

Down with homophobia, cheers for GLOW

See FABULOUSNESS, page 9

Lesbian. Gay. Transgendered. Transsexual. Questioning. Bisexual. Hell, even pomosexual! Those and many others are all the different forms queer takes in today’s society. And what’s more is not all of us fit the stereotype of a “tweaked-out workout-junkie with a faux hawk, Parasuco jeans and nine per cent body fat.” My coming out did not involve “glitter-sweating, same-sex kissing fabulousness.” Coming from a deeply religious immigrant family, I did not have the privilege of being part of a society that accepted me for being myself for the majority of my life. However, thankfully for me, my parents made the choice to settle in this country and thus, allowed me a chance to integrate into a culture that gave me the opportunity to explore the gay lifestyle and at the same time, fully accepted the very nature of my conflicting existence as a religious gay individual. However, even in broader Canadian society, life is not as rosy as Adam Smith and John Hill would like to make it out to be. Our society still has widespread homophobia. And this homophobia is that much stronger against people who are openly gay in religious communities that are not accepting of homosexuality. Being queer, I have first hand experience with today’s rampant homophobia. Ask yourself this: when was the last time you heared someone say “This is so gay” in relation to something that is obviously disliked? Now think if someone said “This is so Canadian” every time they encounter something unpleasant. Sounds ridiculous, right? Welcome to my world. Every day, people like me face derogatory comments like that which makes life for me and other queer folks that much harder. Not every queer individual in our society has the chance to express their

sexuality openly to all their peers and relatives. This is where organizations like Gays and Lesbians of Waterloo (GLOW) step in. GLOW provides a safe, positive and homophobia free environment for queer individuals to explore their sexuality, meet other queer people and access important resources that are of great value in coming to terms with themselves and in the coming out process. Being an active participant, I can personally vouch for the usefulness of GLOW. It has provided me with a safe link to other queer people and allowed me an opportunity to explore my sexuality without having to be judged by someone else’s moral standards while doing so. In fact, I write this very article under a pseudonym because I represent everything that does not fit into Smith and Hill’s perfect idea of the world being divided into straight and openly gay people. I do feel unwelcome in certain parts of the campus and in the company of certain individuals. I do need organizations like GLOW to provide me with their safe haven. And I do feel the need to not remain silent while seeing GLOW’s image being dragged through the mire. I am a slightly overweight, self-identified bisexual bear (and damn proud of myself for it). I am not “a tweakedout workout-junkie with a faux hawk, Parasuco jeans, and nine per cent body fat.” And I am definitely more interested in the recent denial of legalizing same sex marriage in Washington state in the United States than providing a “catty commentary on Kirsten Dunst as Marie Antoinette.” I do enjoy reading “Type-In-Stereo” and would rather not see it turn into a crappy version of People magazine. Diversity is not only about accepting the black and white; it is also about accepting and celebrating all the shades of grey in between. And until our society does so, we will need organizations like GLOW to provide the rest of us underprivileged enough to be in-the-closet queers a chance to explore and celebrate ourselves in a positive, accepting environment. — Eli Manji


opinion

FRIDAY, october 27, 2006

God keeps philosophers employed

This is a difficult question to consider. I find it difficult to understand what I’m asking myself — when the question “Does God exist?” comes to my mind I struggle to focus. But as I explore ways to answer both questions, I realize that the question of existence has the easy answers. The answers are easy because I can use observations, my personal experiences and my beliefs to come up with my answer. The question of whether it matters is far more difficult. I can disagree with the person next to me about God’s existence because we can use different points to make our arguments. We can debate it by exploring each other’s weaknesses. The problem with whether something matters is that people don’t need to make arguments. It’s quite simple for me to say that something doesn’t matter to me. I don’t need to prove it. However, I do believe that it matters if God exists. The debate about existence can be polarizing; I can imagine many people staying up for days in an argument and making no ground convincing each other. I’m sure that friends have been torn apart. Philosophers have likely had long public debates about the topic, and it’s likely mattered a lot to them. After all, it’s their job to spend time arguing about this kind of thing. That’s the reason why it matters. It’s for all the friendships that have been broken. It’s for all the hot air that has been spilled by people with nothing better to do. The debate about God’s existence is the extreme challenge of trying to prove someone wrong. It can’t be for nothing. — Darcy Parks

POSTSCRIPT

Graham Moogk-Soulis

Fabulousness: Speaking from experience

The Podium

Continued from page 8

All things considered, if my level of fabulousness doesn’t make the cut of your idea of what a gay/bi guy should be, then you need to meet more queer people. There are an awful lot of us out here and we don’t all fit neatly within the “gay white fashion/gym-junkie” that the stereotypes make us out to be. Indeed, that’s only one facet of the multi-coloured jewels that make up our community. I am likely the exact reverse of many of those gay male stereotypes, which is part of why I picked my handle of “Type-in-Stereo” in the first place (Wordplay? From an English major? Shocking!) The first rule of the author is to write what you know, and what I know is what interests me: politics, literature, media, games and the internet. Every week, I sift through all the news that I find interesting, things that I believe may have an impact on the lives of gay people — here and abroad — and pick out one story to give my opinion on. The

one, big story or issue that rises to the top is typically something heavy and/or depressing — and believe me, I try quite hard to find the fun and happy stories to write about, but they’re frequently covered up by bigger things, such as how the blatantly homophobic Polish prime minister has just been outed (apparently by factions within his own government). Of course, this is just what interests me. I am, after all, just a bi man with an opinion and a place to speak it, and there is no chance that I could possibly write something that could speak for or interest every queer person on campus every single week. If what

you want is snappy and catty coverage of the frequent sexcapades of Tinseltown, I’ll be happy to point you in the right direction. And when King Stevie finally works up the courage to try and send us back into the stone age, I’ll be here to call him a shortsighted dimwit with an IQ on par with that of Paris Hilton’s collection of herpes scars. In the irreverent words of Popeye: “I yam what I yam.” I’d make for a poor excuse of a token queer columnist if I couldn’t follow the same advice I give to the newest members of our community. gbarclay@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

NEXT ISSUE’S TOPIC: “What would you do in case of a zombie apocalypse?” “Does Imprint respect all students?” Imprint wants to hear from you. Submit an editorial of approximately 500 words to opinion@imprint. uwaterloo.ca

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10

Features Imprint

Friday, october 27, 2006

features@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Features Editor: Kinga Jakab Features Assistant: Ellen Ewart

Everything you want to know about sex Shayna Sparling staff reporter

My first target was Nikki Benz, a Toronto native who now lives in Arizona. After a successful career as an exotic dancer, Nikki got into the adult film industry at age 21. Since then she has been in over 40 adult films and has appeared in photo spreads for a number of adult and mainstream magazines, like Hustler and Maxim. I caught Nikki at the sex show signing autographs in the “Screaming ‘O’ Cock Ring” booth; she was happy to answer a few questions and even took a photo with me. Here are some highlights from that interview:

This past weekend I had the pleasure of playing intrepid reporter at the Everything To Do With Sex show in Toronto and I must say that it was quite an adventure. The Automotive Centre where the Sex show is held was packed with booths selling everything and anything remotely related to sex: sex toys, porn, floggers, costumes, bondage bed-sheets, instructional videos, rope, even “romantic get-away” trips like to Jamaica’s Hedonism. Imprint: I know you’re The building was currently doing a radio show also pretty full of on KSex. How did you first people — but I knew get into radio? that I couldn’t let Nikki Benz: I startmyself get distracted ed off doing guest by the multitudes of spots and eventually women with T & A was asked about doing hanging out, nor by shayna sparling my own radio show. I the men who had their tops and bottoms Shayna Sparling (left) with pornstar, really love doing my radio program because open, if not off. There was plenty Nikki Benz, at last weekend’s Everything it gives my fans another way to enjoy and get in there to distract the To Do With Sex show. touch with me. average person; beHow do you feel about condom use in pornography? sides the paid scantily clad models and booths I find that it is easier to do a scene without using overflowing with various sex related goodies, around practically every corner was a television condoms. It also looks better on camera. But on screen showing hardcore pornography. In fact, the our radio show we always promote safe sex for Roger’s booth had about seven screens all showing people who are having sex in the “real world.” In a different pornographic scene. Mysteriously, we the porn industry, we have very stringent testing so kept finding ourselves standing in front of this it is not as dangerous for us to not use condoms booth to re-group, and somehow I ended up in our sex scenes. What kind of crazy things happen on set when you switching my home phone to Rogers. To quote my cameraman, “Whoa! I’ve never seen so many are filming? Oh! It’s so hard to come up with one on the blow jobs going on at once!” But as I said, I couldn’t allow myself to get too spot like this! I guess one crazy thing that has distracted by all the goodies; I was a reporter on happened was when this one guy “finished” a mission. I knew that a handful of adult celebri- before he was supposed to in a scene. When this ties were going to be at the sex show and I had happens we have to wait around for a while to researched each of them in the hopes that I would see if he can be ready to perform again quickly or the studio will have to call in a back-up guy to have the chance to do a few brief interviews.

take his place. It can get expensive for the studio when this happens.

— it was pretty fun! I then felt ready to meet her at her booth for an interview.

After my interview with Nikki, I thanked her Imprint: What is it like wearing latex all day? for her time and let her get back to her line of Rubberella: It’s very sensual; the latex is eager autograph hounds. It was time for me to tight and I love how it feels squeezing my body. get over to the dungeon area and track down my I also find that the latex heightens sensations, next interview, Rubberella (her stage name). so rubbing even just your hands together when The dungeon area of the sex show was not you are wearing latex gloves feels much sexier very big; it was off to the side and mostly cur- than without. But it is also very hot wearing tained off in black with a sign informing us that whole outfits made out of latex; I’m pretty photography was prohibited in this area. much sweating lightly the whole time. Inside, we saw a variety of floggers, ropes What do you look forward to after a long photoand other bondage equipment. We even caught shoot or a show like this? a glimpse of a woman being tied up in an elabo(Laughs) A nice long hot bath. rate rope corset. You wear a lot of different costumes for your I first spotted Rubphoto-shoots, which one berella on The Dunis your favourite? geon Stage (where phoMy torpedo boob tography was permitted costume; I use condoms inflated with air to with permission) giving create incredibly huge a demonstration about breasts to wear under the joys of wearing this bodysuit. It’s all latex. part of the character Rubberella is a feand makes me feel tish model who enjoys even more like a superwearing latex outfits, heroine. It is a very fun like her cat-suit and costume to wear. torpedo boob suit. Do you find that Because her site has you bump into a lot of some pretty intense things when you wear that photos, Rubberella was costume? actually the person I was Yes! It’s hard to get most nervous about used to suddenly havinterviewing that day, ing gigantic breasts, so but she was very sweet I do sometimes bump in person. I hopped up into things when I am on stage to try on some backstage. tight black latex gloves shayna sparling and see how they felt. To get into her Gabrielle Fisher, a life-casting artist, As you can see, there tight latex outfits, demonstrates body moulding at the certainly was a lot to see Rubberella has to at this year’s the Everylube up her body with show. thing To Do With Sex water or silicone based lubricant and then show. And before I headed for home, I even rubs another type of coating on the outside managed to go for a ride in a very comfortable to keep her latex looking shiny and to keep sex swing. All in all, it was a very full day. it from sticking. For full interviews, visit http://lovinblg. After dutifully rubbing the lube on my blogspot.com. hands and slipping on the gloves I could see why Rubberella loves wearing latex so much ssparling@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Caramel dipped apples guarantee love at first bite

This icon is seen everywhere, including the media and movies, in fairy tales and even religion has taken a bite out of it. The apple has reared its pretty heart-shaped bodices in almost every facet of society. However, I feel they are most appreciated when they can be eaten, of course. Nourishment equals happiness, I always believe, and what better way to celebrate the fall harvest and the upcoming Halloween festivities than with golden caramel apples. These sour apples are gorgeous creatures of a Granny Smith kind, dipped in a coating of silky caramel. The sourness of the apple is a great contrast to the sweetness of the caramel. The first time I had a caramel dipped apple was at the Rocky Mountain Chocolate Factory. While awaiting a ferry to Victoria, B.C., to pass the time, alongside the lined rows of car, I noticed they had these long hanger-like

buildings. Inside, the high ceilings and clear windows brought the warm, natural light in. The sunshine illuminated the area that was filled with vendors, who offered great fresh produce, organic goods, delicious eats and tantalizing sweets. The sweet intoxicating aroma of chocolate and caramel led me straight to Rocky Mountain. The apple I chose had a hearty crunch to it and was enrobed in caramel and chocolate — the only time when double dipping should be allowed — and coated with chopped almonds. The moment I got home, I knew I had to recreate the recipe and my version couldn’t be any simpler or more yummy. Apples are available all year round but are the freshest in the fall during its harvesting season. Choose apples that are firm to the touch, smooth and free of bruises. Store in a cool dry place or if you want them to keep longer, in the fridge — they’ll last about two weeks. My pick for this recipe are Granny Smith apples — with their sweettart taste and hearty crunch, it’s their warm green freckled skin that gets me everytime. The warm golden brown of the caramel is beautifully complimented with this apple’s colour.

Apples are chock full of Vitamin C and a good source of dietary fibre. They are also entirely fat-free and loaded with pectin, which aids in digestion and may help reduce risks of cancer and heart disease. Method

1. Insert Popsicle sticks into apples, set aside. 2. Get a non-stick baking sheet and set aside. 3. Unwrap caramels and melt in a saucepan over medium low heat with the cream. 4. Add the pinch of salt, and stir until all caramels have melted and you have a smooth mixture. 5. Dip the apples into the caramels, scraping off any excess drips. 6. At this point include your add-ons if you desire. My suggestions follow. If not, place dipped apples on the baking sheet and let the caramel harden. You can put it in the fridge for about half an hour to speed up the process. See HALLOWEEN, page 12

tiffany li


FRIDAY, october 27, 2006

Women’s month

original men. In reality, Aboriginal men are also engaging in this violence. Domestic assault within AbIn 1992, the Canadian government declared October Women’s History original families is quite prevalent, Month and since then, this month with statistics showing that close has served as a way to commemorate to one in three Aboriginal women the many achievements of women, have been abused by their partners. as well as raising awareness to current Aboriginal women face sexism and racism. This synergy results issues concerning women. The Status of Women Canada, in systemic oppression. Amnesty the federal government agency that International Canada’s report titled promotes gender equality and full “Stolen Sisters: A Human Rights participation of women in society Response to discrimination and vio(economically, politically, socially lence against Indigenous Women in Canada” came out and culturally), crein October of 2004 ates a theme for The reality and outlined the each year’s WHM. reasons for, or patThis year’s theme is of being an terns of, violence Aboriginal women. towards Aboriginal The intention of Aboriginal women. this theme is to spotFirst, stereotyplight the achievewoman is ing, both sexist and ments of Aboriginal women, which have unmistakably full racist, have cost women benefited their comof challenges... Aboriginal their dignity and munities, families worth; therefore, and countries. Also, some men feel that this theme was chosen as a way to bring awareness to the it is acceptable and that they can reality of being an Aboriginal woman get away with acts of violence and hatred towards these women. and its distinctive challenges. Second, over the last several Canadian government statistics show that Aboriginal women are decades, destructive governmental five times more likely to die as a policy has displaced and destroyed result of violence, compared to all families, leaving Aboriginal women other women of the same age. In more vulnerable to exploitation 1971, Helen Betty Osborne, a 19- and attack. Third, many police forces have not year-old Cree woman from Manitoba, was abducted by four white implemented the required measures men, sexually assaulted and then needed in order to effectively deal murdered. In an article on Amnesty with Aboriginal issues, which result Interational’s website, a judge said in the handling of Aboriginal issues “... the men who abducted Osborne with little or no understanding and believed that young Aboriginal respect for the Aboriginal communiwomen were objects with no human ties. As a consequence, the police are value beyond sexual gratification... often unable to successfully protect Betty Osborne would be alive today Aboriginal women. The reality of being an Aborigihad she not been an Aboriginal nal woman is unmistakably full of woman.” In 2003, 32 years after Osborne’s challenges, and many Aboriginal death, Osborne’s 16-year-old cousin women have spoken out and taken went missing in Winnipeg. Her body the necessary actions in order parts were found three months to better the lives of Aboriginal women. later. It is misleading to imply that violence towards Aboriginal women See ACTIVISTS, page 12 was perpetrated solely by non-Ab-

features

When tentacles tantalize

Dimple Khurana Reporter

A leader in her field

Ada Byron, Lady Lovelace (1815 – 1852) Lady Augusta Ada Byron, the world’s This marked an advance in comfirst computer programmer, was born puter science and heralded in the first in 1815 to Anne Milbanke and the computer capable of general-purpose poet Lord Byron. use. Her contribution was the preByron was trained as a mathemati- decessor to every piece of software cian and scientist, contributing the first written, or to be written. algorithm ever designed to run on Byron is a notable figure in not hardware, the first computer program, only the history of computer scito the world of scienence, but womtific computing. en’s history. As Before Byron’s an accomplished program, the closest mathematician approximation to a she contributed computer program greatly and arwas punch cards for guably founded the Jacquard Loom, a modern scienmechanical weaving tific computing. machine. The dedicaByron’s creation tion to her work was an actual algoand the wonderrithm, a series of dataful and exciting Courtesy wikipedia.org driven instructions, as a ch i e ve m e n t s opposed to the one-to-one mapping that mark her life should be inspithat was used for the loom. rational to all and not forgotten at a The program that Byron created school noted for its predilection for was designed to generate Bernoulli technology. numbers and run on mathematician — Ashley Kelly Charles Babbage’s Analytic Engine.

11

Many people consider tentacle hentai to be one of the most bizarre forms of hentai/ecchi out there. And some people think that’s what all hentai is! But there does seem to be something about tentacle sex that some people do love and that motivates them to see every episode of cult classics like “La Blue Girl” and Injukoshi. It may surprise you to learn that tentacle porn is not a new thing — it’s been around at least since the Edo Period in Japan (1603 to 1867). Around this time, Katsushika Hokusai, a famous Japanese artist (trust me, you’ve seen his work at the poster sale), made a woodcut called The Dream of the Fisherman’s Wife. This celebrated piece depicting a woman making out with a small octopus while a bigger one gives her oral sex might seem scary to many Westerners but it is so well loved that in Japan you can buy key chains and other trinkets featuring this image. There are many factors that led to the production and popularization of tentacle porn in Japan. Firstly, the Edo period saw an increase in the number of people practising the Shinto religion — Japan’s national religion at one point. Shinto is a very friendly religion, involving the worshipping of many gods and spirits connected to nature — gods and spirits who sometimes had sex with humans in animal or semi-animal form. A second big factor was the popularity of shunga art, which means “pictures of spring,” which is a euphemism for pictures of sex. Hokusai’s The Dream of the Fisherman’s

Wife and his other erotic art were and are still considered beautiful examples of shunga work, though tentacle sex was not destined to be wildly popular until many decades later. It wasn’t until after World War II that tentacle porn resurfaced and soon became extremely popular in Japan. The occupying forces put laws in place banning the representation of genitalia in sex acts. This put a damper on the erotic art being produced at this time — how were people supposed to draw graphic sex acts when they couldn’t include any pictures of vaginas or penises’? If artists couldn’t legally draw a penis in their work, what could they possibly use to simulate sex acts? Let’s see here, they would need something long and firm and… phallic … hmm, what do we know of that’s pretty darn phallic? Hey! How about a tentacle? That’s right, a tentacle — the tentacle could deflower young, horny women and if anyone asked, the artists could safely assert that the tentacle wasn’t genitalia, it was just a monster limb that happens to look phallic. And so tentacle sex took off partly because it was the only kind of sex people were allowed to see at the time. Penises were not allowed to be seen in vaginas (or asses or mouths) but the tentacle had free reign. Today, even though we now have fairly easy access to “regular” hentai

and porn, many people still enjoy images of tentacle sex. For some it’s the power play — the dominant tentacle beast taking the young woman or man and having their way with them. For others it’s the bondage — when you have sex with a tentacled beast, they have enough limbs to hold your arms and legs in any position they want and still penetrate you in every orifice. For others, it’s the multiple penetrations they enjoy. Because of the nature of tentacles, their “victim’s” body can be further away. The penetrated characters — what I like to call “fuckees” — can be depicted in ways that would be impossible if the artist had to draw bodies to go with every penetrating tool; thus, there can be more penetrating tentacles than there ever could have been penises. And for many it’s a little of all three of these reasons. Men and women can look at tentacle sex and see it as symbolic of satisfying and being satisfied by a lover in every possible way and all at once. In fact, a lot of women do enjoy tentacle hentai because it is a way to indulge in rape fantasies, bondage fantasies, power play fantasies and/or multiple penetration fantasies while staying completely safe — since none of it is or ever can be real.

ssparling@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

“Japanese mythology and folk tales are full of wild creatures that act upon ‘their’ desires; much in the way that Greek mythology is full of bulls and swans that fornicate with people. These critters are the archetypal representations of human desires. While the octopus in western imagery is the dark monster of the ocean that brings down ships, the octopus in Japan is often the undersea comic or the clever little prankster. The undersea world for the Japanese is not a dark, watery hell, but rather it’s a wondrous world full of glittering castles and partying immortal women.” —Midori,ErosZine. Christine ogley


features

12

FRIDAY, october 27, 2006

Integrating your partner

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Your buds. Your gang. Your group. Everyone’s got a name for that core group of friends that they hold dear. And the funny thing about a group of friends like this is it’s usually a group that you don’t see all too often. Most people seem to have a core group of friends that they may only get to see once every month or two. With my core group of friends, we meet for breakfast. I know I’ve missed my fair share of breakfasts but the funny thing is, you can always pick up where you left off. The people I’m close to, my gang, all met while working together. We worked the breakfast shift at McDonalds when I was much younger and didn’t mind smelling like hash browns after work. Although none of us have worked together in years, we still try to get together whenever possible. It’s sort of like an American Pie moment when we do. Although we live in different cities and we have new friends, better jobs and odours other than hash browns, we still remember the friendship and embrace it. We never get mad when someone can’t put the time in or can’t make it into town. We appreciate the time we have together. These groups, or gangs, or whatever you call them, they’re important because they’re a testament to the sort of connection that we sometimes feel is lacking in our lives. For some of us, these friends are closer than family. They’re sometimes closer than significant others. It’s usually a unique relationship that allows this kind of lasting bond. Usually, this group will understand you in a way that no one else will. They’ll tell it like it is and give you hell when you deserve it and they’ll never let you down. The difficult part is that sometimes

other people don’t understand and respect the importance of that group in your life. I’ve written in the past about my hetero life mate, Tim. He’s my best friend and my wingman. He’s nursed me through breakups and shared some of my biggest successes. In some senses he is closer to me than my girlfriend. Although I love her, she’ll always see me in a different way than Tim does. And that is the essence of how these kind of lasting friendships work. Friends who have seen you at your best and your worst don’t think of you as anything other than a friend. There are no tags attached and no labels affixed. You’re just a friend. Well, not just a friend, you’re always a friend.

The funny thing about a group of friends like this is it’s usually a group that you don’t see all too often. But sometimes the role of friends is to call it like they see it. When you’re being an asshole, they should tell you and when you need honest, frank advice, they should be there to give it. Your best friends are not those who are there for the best times in your life, but those who see you through your worst. I know that’s the case with my friends. They share in my misery and my joy. I help them through their struggles and I’m first in line to congratulate them in surpassing those struggles. And so when remembering your friends, ask for leeway from your significant other. Your boyfriend or girlfriend may not understand the unique bond you have with your group but there are two ways in which a relationship can be acclimatized to a friendship. On the one hand, do

Halloween treats Continued from page 10

Scrumptious add-ons: Try these suggestions to jazz up any candy-apple or get creative with any scrumptious complement - Roll the bottoms with crushed graham crackers or Ritz crackers. - Drizzle the tops with melted milk, white or dark chocolate (or all three if desired) - Coat apples with finely chopped almonds, peanuts or pecans. - Roll in crushed chocolate bars (such as Heath or Skor bar) - Dress up with Reese pieces candies, Smarties or M&M’s

Halloween caramel apples Ingredients 75 soft caramels (about 2lb) 3 tbsp cream or half and half (not whipped cream like Cool Whip) Pinch of salt

10 granny smith apples washed and dried 10 Popsicle sticks

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everything in your power to include your partner in your group. Make them feel welcome and give them a chance to understand the uniqueness. Although they may never be part of the group in the way that you are, they need to feel that this isn’t a closed door club and they must wait at the door. And when your significant other invites you to join her or his group of friends, go with an open mind and an open hand. Greet the friends of your partner while remembering how special they are to him or her. These are not potential enemies but potential friends. Even though they may vie for the attention of your partner, you have one very special thing in common, affection for the same person. That’s a beautiful thing to start a friendship off with. One relationship pitfall is the inclusion of a girlfriend or boyfriend with a pre-existing group of friends. Although there is no blueprint or guidebook I can give to help navigate the sticky path, try to keep the principles listed above and remember, if your friends are that important to you, your partner should be able to see that and appreciate not merely accept it. And if your partner introduces you to a group of close friends, realize that this may be just as important and tenuous to them as it is to you. You’re both very important facets in one person’s life. janstett@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Activists Continued from page 11

Throughout Canada, both support and activist groups have been created for Aboriginal women. Some of these associations include: Native Women’s Association of Canada, Akwesasne Family Violence Centre, Dryden Aboriginal Women’s Resource Centre and Indigenous Women of the Americas. This is definitely not an exhaustive list of the Aboriginal women’s groups; however, it is indicative that there is support for Aboriginal women, as well as vehicles for activism. One example of an outstanding Aboriginal woman is Beverley Jacobs, the president of the Native Women’s Association of Canada. Jacobs, a Mohawk woman, has successfully negotiated funding for “Sisters in Spirit” (a campaign to end violence against Aboriginal women), spread awareness about sexual and physical violence against Aboriginal women, as well as fighting for matrimonial realty property rights and Bill C-31 (an amendment to the Indian Act, which brought the Act into line with the provisions of the Canadian Charter of Rights and Freedoms). Beverley Jacobs believes that change is possible and that activism, awareness and support go hand-in-hand. As the month of October ends, it is important that we acknowledge and give due credit to the outstanding work done by many Aboriginal women and their accomplishments in bettering the lives of Aboriginal women. But we also need to be aware of and understand the unique circumstances faced by Aboriginal women, and that understanding and compassion towards these unique conditions is the only way that violence and discrimination against these women can finally end.


Imprint

Friday, october 27, 2006

13

Across

What was the best Halloween costume you ever had? By Anya Lomako and Tiffany Li

“Green dragon when I was five.” Emma Ratclife

“I once made my own prince costume.” Adam Chauvin

“I was a TV & remote control, and I was a Cleopatra.” Allyshah Manji & Rehana Rajabali

“I loved my Pipi Longstocking costume.” Steffi Mathes

“I was a Rubicks Cube when I was five.” Jeff Timko

“I was the giant vagina.” Rose Schmidt

“I was a grandma once.” Clancy Edwards

“G.I. Joe.” Nick Kenny

3B psychology

1A science & business

2B arts

2A arts & business and 3B civil engineering

4A health

2A math

3B mechanical engineering

2A legal studies

1. Freq. 4. Bird mouth 8. Largest body of water 13. Pirate’s booze 15. Headwaters of the Niagara River 16. Salk’s archenemesis 17. Per minute charge 18. British grimace 19. Dodge the issue 20. Sudden crisis 22. Concerning the kidneys 23. Also known as the ant 24. WWII secret device 26. Naval workplace (2 wds) 28. Egyptian god of the underworld 32. M. Night Shyamalan movie 35. Rounded hairdo 37. It won’t happen (2 wds) 38. Rapid hustles 39. Cute conservation posteranimal 40. Not bad 41. Mariner patriarch 42. Reproductive structures 43. Super secret WWII codebreakers 44. Oldest 46. Cavern 48. A fake 50. Acid-alcohol compound 53. Japanese dish 56. The act of doing number one 59. More at risk 60. Movie film stock 61. Taro root 62. Gaze 63. Loot 64. Borders rivers 65. Moving crowd

October 20 Solution

66. Cupids Greek doppelganger 67. Lobster eggs Down

1. Human eating giant 2. Debate context 3. Tribal emblem 4. Makes children 5. Stompin’ Tom’s Ontario home 6. Largest warship class (2 wds) 7. Home of the Great Rift Valley 8. Constituent parts of The Ring Cycle 9. Resumé companion (2 wds) 10. French zeal 11. Verdi’s Egyptian opera 12. English actor Coward 14. Police dog (2 wds) 21. Acquires 25. Room access 27. Num nums

29. Base word form 30. Mad scientist’s archtypical assistant 31. Carbonated beverage 32. Make sense 33. Overhyped artist 34. Taunt 36. Pull in 39. Key granola bar ingredient 43. Bear constellation 45. Grand evening party (French) 47. Religious dogmas 49. Incorrect spelling of euchre 51. Arctic duck 52. Cowboy show 53. Ceremonial waistcloth 54. Top limit (2 wds) 55. Pointy geometic shape 57. Helpful tip 58.Connecting point, doesn’t move



Friday, october 27, 2006

arts@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Arts Editor: Margaret Clark Arts Assistant: Dinh Nguyen

Arts Imprint

15

Drawer Boy delivers theatrical gold

Theatre Athena’s second production presents unexpectedly solid performances, makes rural Ontario engaging

Courtesy Theatre Athena

Matthew Gorman shares the limelight as theatre veterans Thomas Hauff and William Vickers (off-stage) reveal the complex lives of Ontario farmers. Duncan Ramsay reporter

I have to admit, I was skeptical of The Drawer Boy. The second production of the newly-arrived Theatre Athena, who up until now I knew only as the new inhabitants of the refurbished Waterloo Entertainment Centre, I expected something that was, at best, experiencing growing pains. However, let all misgivings be laid to rest: Theatre Athena has put together one of the strongest productions I’ve seen all year. If the Athena company can continue to produce works of this calibre, Waterloo has found a very good thing in its theatre community. The Drawer Boy begins in the summer of 1972, as the aspiring actor Miles (Matthew Gorman) arrives in rural Ontario with a theatrical company writing a play about farmers. Looking for a place to room, Miles arranges to stay with two such men, Angus (Thomas Hauff) and Morgan (William Vickers), in exchange for his labour. The play follows the changing relationships between the three as Miles’ presence brings the pair’s complex history to light, raising still more questions. It’s a riveting performance, swing-

ing back and forth between high emotion and Hauff and Vickers. Obvious veterans of the slow-paced comedy without losing coherency or stage, these two give detailed and complex perdisrupting the pace. formances, creatThe company has ing characters that also done an excelare fascinating to Hauff ... is impressive in lent job in creating watch. Both excel the rural Ontario carrying the play’s the sheer detail of his men- atintense setting; When Angus confronand Morgan take the tations. Vickers’ tal state; throughout the stage, you can believe Morgan provides these people are farm- play, we can clearly see the much of the play’s ers, actual people that emotion, a swagyou might meet in boundaries that are running gering, surly type the country, stepping through his head, where the with deep underrefreshingly wide of currents of loyalty the pitchfork-andmixed with anger walls are cracking, where overalls stereotype. and bitterness. the ground itself is faulty. Aside from the It’s alarming to cast’s excellent actwatch the tension ing, much of the build under this credit for this should be given to lighting man’s skin before it explodes in a tirade that designer Leslie Wilkinson, who filled the stage fills the theatre. Vickers is also responsible for with the kind of diffuse atmospheres found some of the most humorous moments in the only in an area where the sun is the sole light play, telling outrageous whoppers to the gullible outside. city-boy with a deadpan delivery. It must be said that much of the success Not to be outdone, Thomas Hauff delivers of the production is due to its principal actors, an Angus who elicits great sympathy and great

laughter, the audience’s strongest reason to hope for a happy ending. Possessing a calculator-like mind but unable to remember anything beyond a few minutes ago, Hauff ’s Angus is impressive in the sheer detail of his mental state; throughout the play, we can clearly see the boundaries that are running through his head, where the walls are cracking, where the ground itself is faulty. Rounding out this trio is relative newcomer Matthew Gorman, who despite being obviously outclassed by his veteran fellows puts on a solid performance as the naïve city-boy out of his depth. As Miles, Gorman’s main job was to add to the comedy of the play and move the plot forward, and in these respects he filled the role admirably. His performance was marred, however, by the strangely precise and stilted delivery of his lines and a tendency to slightly over-act the part. Fortunately, although not on the level of his colleagues, Gorman’s performance fulfills its purpose and doesn’t distract from the rest of the play. With The Drawer Boy, Theatre Athena has shown itself to be a valuable addition to the local arts scene. Go ahead and give this newcomer a look — you won’t regret that you did.


16

arts

FRIDAY, october 27, 2006

Prestige no parlour trick

Courtesy IMDB

As Nikola Tesla, David Bowie adds dramatic flair to an already intense flick. The Prestige Christopher Nolan Buena Vista

One of the best movies I’ve seen, The Prestige begins with Michael Caine’s voice speaking of the three acts in a magic trick: “The first act is called The Pledge; the magician shows you something ordinary, but of course... it probably isn’t. The second act is called The Turn; the magician makes his ordinary something do something extraordinary. Now if you’re looking for the secret... you won’t find it, that’s why there’s a third act called The Prestige; this is the part with the twists and turns, where lives hang in the balance, and you see something shocking you’ve never seen before.” The film follows these acts to a tee, as the willing audience, try as it might to figure out the entire plot before the end, is led to believe in the extraordinary without even realizing it. In this film, Rupert Angier (Hugh Jackman) and Alfred Borden (Christian Bale) are two magicians who, through the tragedy of Rupert’s

wife’s death, spark a rivalry that becomes obsessive, with each one trying to figure out and sabotage each other’s tricks. Obsession is taken to a new level with the two becoming deadlier not only to each other but to those around them. Make no mistake, this isn’t a film to take your friends to for a nice light night out. The Prestige will make you think for days, whether or not you liked it, on the meaning of the film, the ending, how things came to be and if anything could have prevented the events therein. It’s a dark film with no true villain, or hero. Director Christopher Nolan’s fingerprints can be seen all over this film, from the skewed timeline to the over-thoughts on the characters’ dual natures. Every detail, from the dirty trick of the disappearing canary to the death foreshadowing the end, weaves a pleasingly complex storyline. Bale and Jackman embraced the film with all their skills to produce two believable characters that seduce the audience right through the second and third acts. — Carmen Peters

Richard Siken Crush

Tony Pierce Stiff

Yale University Press

UC Isla Vista Press

Hell yes, this is poetry. More importantly, Crush is the kind of poetry I’m not embarrassed to be caught reading — the kind of book I’m more likely to knock you over the head with than hide away when you come near. And that’s a big thing for me, because as much as I love poetry, I’m still inclined to make dramatic dives for my computer whenever a poem podcast comes on and I have non-poetry-reading friends over for dinner. Seriously, it’s happened: and I was out of my seat like a jackrabbit. But there’s no hiding Richard Siken, because he never once hides from himself, nor from the overwhelming press of human relationships. And we’re not talking your run-of-the-mill relationships here, either: we’re talking very masculine intersections between longing and violence, hunger and murder, flesh and more unyielding flesh. As such, Siken’s work is immediately arresting, often brutal, and always inescapably poignant. It’s almost not even worth trying to describe the writing itself as a mix of contemporary beat and prose poetry, or else to say the sheer desperate energy of his writing reminds me of Harold Norse, or even to rattle off the long list of awards, prizes and grants he already has to his name. In fact, I’m far better off just letting Siken speak for himself. Take, for example, the staggering introduction to “A Primer for the Small Weird Loves,” which I force into the hands of any who ask me what I’m reading: “The blond boy in the red trunks is holding your head underwater / because he is trying to kill you, / and you deserve it, you do, and you know this / and you are ready to die in this swimming pool / because you wanted to touch his hands and lips and this means / your life is over anyway.” But the measure of a good poet is not just in his choice of image and symbol — the dominant tropes in this collection being death, theatrical performance and vicious, cyclical representations of human interaction. Just as important as the choice of a worthy subject is how the poet creates subtlety; how he invests as much devastation in the quiet moments as in the dramatic. And here, with tragically honest pieces like “Unfinished Duet,” is where Siken has ultimately wrenched out my heart à la Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom. Poetry may never be everyone’s cup of tea, and I myself may never stop diving to shield my guests from the podcasts I most enjoy, but I still take comfort in works like Siken’s Crush — a collection that speaks to the undeniable urgency at the heart of all good poetry, and so more than justifies its own, brilliant existence.

Stiff, the waste of paper by Tony Pierce, is the worst published writing I’ve ever read. I expect a novella created by someone with many years of experience in journalism and creative writing to at least come out reading closer to art. I am beyond disappointed. Stiff lacks context, grammatical consistency and the ability to capture interest. The 159 pages, DVD case size novella contains only 108 pages of the actual story. Furthermore, they consist of an average of 130 words written on each page. Pierce’s writing in this book is like that of a Grade 10 high school student trying to write poetry. The shock-value use of almost no capitals and dropped apostrophes, as in “cant” and “theyve,” serves no purpose whatsoever. Furthermore, it makes the story confusing to read at times, and casts Pierce off as someone trying to copy e.e. cummings’ later writing style. Another thing that brings down the quality of Stiff is the way Pierce arranges his sentences. I can see his style being useful, making the book easier on the reader’s eyes through the separation of paragraphs with double spaces and no indents. However, the presence of double spaces with no indication of who’s speaking, not to mention the lack of quotation marks, makes it very difficult to pick up who’s talking at times. I often find myself re-reading parts of the book. As for the story, it begins when Kurt Cobain shows up at Pierce’s door to take his ghost to heaven for judgment. Before going to the pearly gates they stop at a row of potties where Pierce causes all the toilets to explode with his plopping pooh of regrets. They then move on to a whorehouse where Pierce indulges in 12 “beautiful” women at once, and washes away his shames and unwanted business. Pierce then moves on to the pearly gates and gets sent to hell, where he goes on and on describing what it’s like and what he has to do living there. Suddenly, for no apparent reason he wakes up and Kurt Cobain comes in with guns to rescue him. What happens next? You guessed it. He’s alive again. Though inventive, the story was dry and failed to capture my interest. It went on far too long about his life in hell and then suddenly, like a writer who’s just run out of ideas, Pierce quickly ends the story. Pierce claims that everything in his book has previously been published on his blog. Throughout the novella he often finds ways to complement his blog. Many people have deemed him “the world’s best blogger.” If the content on his blog resembles anything in Stiff, he obviously does not live up to his title.

— Margaret Clark

— Dinh Nguyen


FRIDAY, october 27, 2006

arts

17

How to avoid writing bad poetry A novice writer is someone who believes that good writing comes effortlessly. Expert writers are open-minded; they know that in order to create good writing one must step outside their pillows and bed sheets, be willing to learn, explore and experiment with different perspectives and most of all, edit, edit and edit some more. A poet is no different — even the best may write ten bad poems before landing a good one. Poetry, like any form of creative writing, is an art; and like any art it can be perfected — or at least made better. But in order to strive for perfection,

one must know its counterpart, imperfection. In other words, in order to write a good poem a poet must be able to recognize bad writing. To locate bad poems start with the title. Seek it out from its resting place, found at a crucial checkpoint, the beginning of a poem. The first thing a reader sees when reading a poem is the title. It can complete, add to or destroy a poem. Like manly odour, it can attract or repel. When writing a title, good poets rarely — unless it reflects or heightens the aim of the piece — use abstract words like “hate” or “love.” How many times have you seen these words in writing? They have become clichéd and instantly give the reader a sense of uncreative angst poetry. The only thing worse than a cliché title is no title. A poem without a title signifies a lazy poet who doesn’t care about his or her writing. Would you leave your child unnamed? After examining the title, move deeper into the jungle and onto the structure, the diction,

Clarke returns to campus

Tim Alamenciak

UW alumnus and winner of the 2001 Governor General’s Award for Poetry, George Elliott Clarke returned this week to Waterloo to accept a doctorate of letters (DLitt) at this term’s convocation ceremonies (see page 4 for more details). Caught candidly in one of his rare sombre moments, the usually effervescent Prof. Clarke occasioned the University of Waterloo with a series of readings on Friday, October 13 at 4 p.m. in the ES building, room 221. Clarke played selections from his upcoming libretto, Trudeau, and read from collections like Black and Quebecite: A Jazz Fantasia in Three Cantos.

the tropes — the way the poem was written. Yes, poetry can be about limitless expression but that doesn’t mean that structures and poetic techniques aren’t needed. A tree can grow as tall and in any direction it wishes, but it depends on its structure, on its bark, its leaves and systems, working together to keep it stable. Poetry is not just about the message but is also about the presentation. The message by itself is meaningless if the poet cannot find ways bring it out. Poetry is about being aware of everything in the poem, making each line significant, bringing out or adding to the message, and in turns, the rest of the poem. There are countless techniques a poet can use to help do this: metaphors, similes, etc. Next, read the poem and analyze the theme and how it is presented. Is the theme interesting? Is it creative or is it something unentertaining, and “emo” like a new age boy band song? A good poet can make overdone themes interest-

ing. Some of the best poems are uses clichéd themes like depression, love and hate. How is that possible? Good poets are also human. They too feel these emotions. It is how the theme is brought out which separates a bad and good poem. There are many ways to creatively express emotions. Themes can be tackled at from many different angles. A person may explore one part of the jungle; meanwhile, someone else may be searching the opposite end finding lost cities and treasures. Poetry should not only be about one person. The world’s forests will stop being cut down once everyone realizes that all living things depend on and share their influences. Good poetry begins when the poet is no longer writing for himself or herself, but instead learns how to make subjects of immediate personal interest also relevant to the readership as a whole. — Dinh Nguyen


arts

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Daz So So Gangsta Virgin Records

We have to hand it to the guy: Tupac died, Snoop Dogg, Nate Dogg and Kurupt left, Suge Knight was imprisoned and Daz was the only name left on the Death Row label to keep it alive. Maybe he’s tired. This is the seventh album released by Daz Dillinger (Dillinger borrowed from famous bank robber, John Dillinger) and it brings absolutely nothing new to the rap community. Remember when rap meant something; remember when it was for a cause? Remember “Fuck tha police?” Now there’s a song that means something. Debuting at number 23 on the charts, this album was produced by Jermaine Dupri, otherwise known as Janet Jackson’s life partner and the ugliest man alive. This may explain the title of the CD, So So Gangsta, because Dupri is credited for the So So Def label and starting off pretty much every one of his songs with, “You know what this is! So, so def!” Dupri may have influenced the few slow jams on this song because Daz seems to focus on a combination of gangster rap and Mafioso rap. Gangster rap typically has a focus on the inner city — “da hood,” if you will. Mafioso rap typically focuses on the hedonistic, luxurious fantasies of rappers. Daz uses both styles: from “Thang on my hip” (which I guess is his gun) to the ice he’s flashing in nearly every page on the liner notes. Everything in modern rap sounds familiar, doesn’t it? The song “On Some Real Shit” features the lyrics, “You know the clubs so packed, girls so stacked/ Me and my niggaz smokin’ chronic in the back/ Got ass so fat, I like it like that.” Yeah, that’s some real shit — or so says every rapper out there. Although, I don’t remember the last time I smoked a joint in a club and

got away with it. You know what this is? So, so stupid. I’m so sick of hearing the same bullshit over and over about, I hate to say it, “blunts, 40’s and bitches.” So So Gangsta features collaborative work between Daz and Rick Rose, Snoop Dogg and Soopafly, Avery Storm, Kurupt, Ice Cube, The Kid Slim and Jagged Edge — an awesome cast that includes members of the extended Dogg Pound Gangsta Clique. So what happened? What is the point of this CD? One would think that with all this talent, these boys could come up with something original, but they don’t; instead, they name-drop the hell out of DPGC in every song for credibility, seemingly never combining any of their talents, just dragging out what other rappers have done in the past. But I digress. Daz has been around for such a long time — since before Tupac died and when Dre was first starting out — I just feel that he should know better. C’mon Daz. I am so, so disappointed. —Kinga Jakab

Placebo Meds Astralwerks

After two years of nothing punctuated by a singles collection, Placebo, a British alternative rock band, is back with a boom. This album is packed with song after song that leaves one lost in the lyrics and swaying to the haunting guitar work. In true Placebo style, every song has a reason and a hidden meaning to it and just adds a new dimension to the music. It starts off with the somewhat misplaced “Meds,” a title song that brings back memories of Placebo’s last album Sleeping With Ghosts. “Infra-Red,” the next track, is by far my favourite Placebo song and starts with Brian Molko (vocals, guitar,

piano) pleading “One last thing before I shuffle off the planet …” The perfect ice-breaker, the song itself completely overpowers the listener with its strong guitar work and threatening lyrics. The rest of the album is full of songs that seem to hail back to each of Placebo’s earlier eras. “Space Monkey” and “Broken Promise” remind you of the raw power that Placebo has always managed to summon. Some good lyrics to watch out for are on tracks “Follow the Cops Back Home,” “Pierrot the Clown” and “One of a Kind.” The first half of the album is generally fast-paced and seems to be good singles material. Towards the end of the album, Placebo seems to retreat into their brooding shell with their slow tunes and powerful lyrics. This album is definitely some of the best work that Placebo has ever done but it leaves a sense of unfinished work, as if there was more to it. It could be the fact that there is a raw power to this album that makes Meds that much more unique. Placebo fans will love this album and it’s a great introductory album to the band for new and casual listeners. — Zahid Zaman

Midlake The Trials of Van Occupanther Bella Union

This Dallas outfit’s sophomore release, a concept album about one Van Occupanther forging a life in the boonies while he falls in and out of love, is as much a tribute to the ’70s as are shag carpeting and station wagons. Musical influences like Joni Mitchell and ELO marry introspective, melancholic lyrics to create 11 tracks of sepia-toned folk rock. The ’70s vibe is a perfect ingredient for the album’s standout track, “Roscoe.” Its curious lyrics (“whenever I was a child I wondered/what if my name had changed into something

October 27 Eric Chenaux & Sandro Perri: I Have Eaten a Tree — Gris Mill Park 7 p.m. — $10 October 27 Dance the Night Away Formal Dance — Alpine Club 8 p.m. — $10 October 27 Singles Halloween Dance — Moose Lodge 8:30 p.m. — $8 October 28 Couples Country Line Dancing –—RCAF Wing 404 8 p.m. to 11 p.m. – $6 October 28 Boo-nocular Fest 2006: stargazing and constellation education — Waterloo Park 7 p.m. to 10 p.m. — Free admission October 28 Jomomma and The Speakeasies — Starlight 9 p.m. — $10, ages 19+

FRIDAY, october 27, 2006

more productive/like/Roscoe”) and Fleetwood Mac-inspired bass line keep this tune stuck in your mind — in a good way. “Young Bride” is the epitome of restrained rock-out, with a sleepy Chinese violin opening that ramps up to an unrelenting drum beat and energizing guitar work. Two other retro-inspired gems offered by Midlake are “In This Camp” and “It Covers the Hillsides,” where all of their musical standbys fall into place for a sublime seven minutes. Midlake’s love affair with the ’70s makes for some of the best indie tracks of this year by far, but doesn’t always add up to perfection. The title track’s piano-driven mellowness is livened by some violin accompaniment, but a handful of other tracks follow the same formula. For what it’s worth, the rest of the tracks on The Trials... never quite seem to wake up in 2006. Gorgeously folksy piano, flute and guitar do little to counteract the sleepiness of lead singer Tim Smith’s slightly-less-than-pitch-perfect and almost-always fearful-sounding vocals. The synthesizer-laden harmonies of “They Gathered In Spring” should have stayed put in 1978. A few slips in historical reconstruction aside, The Trials... is a stellar second effort, a $14 time machine for the musically-inclined. — Jacqueline McKoy

Scissor Sisters Ta-Dah! Polydor

New York’s resident Bee Gees impersonators are back again, this time emerging onto their glam-ified stage with a dozen disco-inspired dance hits. Taking cues from the aforementioned Brothers Gibb and ‘70s-era Elton John, the Sisters turn down the

house lights, raise the big, red curtain and kick off the album with their ridiculously catchy first single, “I Don’t Feel Like Dancin,” a song to which Sir Elton both lent his piano fingers and helped co-write. The first act of the show continues with a solid stream of danceable tracks, such as the amusingly titled “She’s My Man,” and the lyrically sadistic “I Can’t Decide,” in which lead vocalist Jake Shears sings the refrain: “I can’t decide / Whether you should live or die.” However, once the cast of players reaches track six (aptly titled “Intermission”), this member of the audience definitely wondered whether or not she should return for Act Two after waiting in the ridiculously long line at the women’s washrooms. These apprehensions arose from the over-the-top disco-pop sound of the Sisters’ show. In small doses this album does wonders for picking up one’s spirit, but sitting through six more musical numbers becoming an increasingly daunting task. After some careful thought, this reviewer remembered that she put down some good money for this show, so she might as well return to her seat and see what other tricks the Sisters’ might have up their sleeves. Unfortunately, this was not really the best decision. The Sisters appeared to be fresh out of tricks, as the second half of the show was just as overthe-top as Act One, yet not nearly as infectious or memorable. I would have much preferred to sit through the first act again than be forced to endure Act Two in its entirety. In short, don’t bother handing over your hard-earned money for this album, but if you can manage to sneak into the proverbial theatre for their opening act by downloading a few of the earlier tracks, you’ll get a good 15 to 20 minutes of solid ’70s-style dance tunes. — Suzanne Gardner

October 29 Lipizzaner Stallions — Memorial Auditorium 2 p.m. and 6 p.m. –— $21 to $36.50

Imprint’s Music Mix Coldplay “Don’t Panic” Evanescence “Bring Me to Life” k-os “Flypaper” Sarah McLachlan “Ice Cream” The Shins “Saint Simon” The Clash “Rudie Can’t Fail”

October 29 Save don’t Pave the Waterloo Moraide (ground water protection costume contest) –— Starlight 2 p.m. — $10 October 30 House of Sand — Princess Cinema 9 p.m. — $6 at Turnkey Desk October 31 Rocky Horror Picture Show — Princess Cinema 11:35 p.m. — $6 at Turnkey Desk October 31 Greg Keelor (Blue Radeo) with The Sadies — Starlight 9 p.m. — $21 in advance Nov 2 TWSA singing competition: UW, UG, McMaster, Western) — Federation Hall 7 p.m. — $10


arts

FRIDAY, october 27, 2006

19

Difficult questions tackled in Mourning Alexander Lunde reporter

Mourning Dove is a show you go to see knowing you’re going to be confronted by difficult issues. This is because the play is based on the true life case of Robert Latimer, who took the life of his daughter and who still sits in jail for the crime of murder. What makes this play engaging drama, rather than topically-motivated melodrama, is a focus on the family dynamics of the Latimer family (renamed the Ramseys). We see the way that looking after the disabled Tina puts a strain on Doug’s relationship with son Keith Martel, and makes difficult his bittersweet marriage. But while Tina’s plight strains the individual family members, we get this sense that the burden of making Tina’s life bearable gives them a shared purpose. It also allows for the development of characters who, in the hand of this talented cast, are compelling. Linda Bush brings many tender

touches to Doug’s graceful if embattled wife Sandra, and Matt White is once again able to channel the enthusiasm of a youthful character (in this case, Keith Martel) with an energy that belies his age. One of the most effective things about this show is that we never see Tina on the stage. At most, all we see is a pattern of lights on the floor in the stage right. This decision is effective in a sneakily subversive way; with nobody to physically inhabit Tina’s space, the pattern of light can represent any loved one the audience projects onto it. This touch allows the audience a more personal stake in the issues involved. There were two show-stealing performances in Mourning Dove, the first of which being the performance of Dwight McFee as Doug, the father. McFee gives Doug a stern and crusty surface that complements the depth of his internal crisis. At first, it seems all there is to him is a stern countenance, yet as the play progresses the audience sees him as someone who can be

both commanding and tender, and ultimately he reveals an amazing level of compassion. This compassion, and the personal torture he undergoes as a result of it, allow the audience to understand the terrible dilemma he faces.

...whether we believe that Doug’s course of action is right or wrong, Mourning Dove shows us that he is no monster... The second exceptional performance is Bush’s, as Sandra Ramsay. Bush is a wonderful Sandra — gracious yet weary, strong yet hopeful. The chemistry she and McFee have is that of two comrades who’ve fought at each other’s side for a long time. They love each other

Recognizing the artistic value of bald, sweaty Frenchmen The Toronto Film Festival last month saw the Canadian release of Zidane: a 21st Century Portrait, and due to some terrible twist of fate, I still have not seen it. I feel victim to a terrible injustice, dear readers, and there is only so much a man can take.

nor the hip-hop commercialism of basketball. In fact, I’m even going to stop calling it ‘soccer.’ The successful arts snob should pretend to be part of the European tradition and call it ‘football.’ Compared to fast-paced North American sports like hockey, football is more suited to the arts snob’s taste for watching paint dry. Indeed, football is the sports equivalent of watching a Gus van Sant film: you have to work to enjoy it. Hockey, meanwhile, has more in common with a Steven Segal movie: fast, dumb and dirty. Yeah, I said it.

condition.” Scottish critic Jason Solomons compares it to “the detail, grace and compassion of a Velasquez or a Degas.” How could an arts snob not appreciate it? Admittedly, the directors could have gone further in making their movie appeal to the elitist elite. For instance, why in God’s name did they have to choose to focus on a player from the notoriously overrated Real Madrid, the Velvet Revolver of European soccer? The film would have quadrupled its indie cred had it chosen to focus on Matthew Etherington in a West Ham game.

Minutes pass where the most exciting movement is the dripping of sweat off [Zidane’s] bald head! Now, before all my fellow arts snobs attack me for my apparent interest in a movie about sports, perhaps I should explain myself. Indeed, Zidane belongs to that most superior of genre, the documentary. About a famous French soccer star, the film focusing exclusively on his performance for Spanish team Real Madrid in a 2005 game against Villarreal CF. Putting aside the extreme specificity of the piece, however, Zidane is imbued with enough experimentation, innovation, and Scottish post-rock to make any arts snob salivate. Really though, let’s face it. We’re not going to get any masterpieces based on polo or fencing anytime soon, so soccer is just the next best thing. First of all, it’s predominantly European, and so by default deserves our attention. Soccer carries with it none of the redneck connotations of baseball, the chauvinism of American Football,

Further reassurance lies in the fact that the directors of Zidane: a 21st Century Portrait have put a tremendous amount of effort into making the documentary as pretentious as possible. The film itself is a collection of footage collected over 90 minutes of one game by 17 synchronized cameras all focused on Zidane. Bonus points are awarded for the obligatory arty montage at half-time in which the directors speculate on a missed dentist appointment and the current situation in Iraq. During the game, however, the frame never leaves Zidane. An entire football match is recorded and the ball is only ever seen when the French star touches it! Minutes pass where the most exciting movement is the dripping of sweat off his bald head! What beautiful, boring, eccentric indulgence! As with most arty portrait films, the result is touted to be a “penetrating view of the human

I am obliged to commend the directors, however, for choosing to employ Scottish musical geniuses Mogwai to score the film. Never has a band named after a character from the Gremlins movies so seduced my soul, and I can only imagine how perfectly their dynamic, guitar-driven dissonance complements a good old-fashioned football match. So how has this film, with its magnitude of hype and artistic cred, eluded me for so long? Why, dear readers, must I wait while those ignorant fools in Cannes are repeatedly spoiled? It is, I fear, a great mystery I may never solve, and so before long you may find me crying on the steps of the Princess Cinema, cursing this unfair providence. If it comes down to that, I apologize, but sooner or later we must all die for art. Perhaps it is just my time. Farewell. cmoffat@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

and Tina completely, but ultimately disagree on what is best for their daughter. This is a play all about moody extended metaphors, and the production wastes no time in driving that strong tonal quality home; the play even starts with the sound of a girl’s gaspings breaths juxtaposed against the sound of a saw. Then the lights come up and we see that Doug is sawing wood to build something. However, when he mentions that he can’t stand the thought of Doctor Kovic “sawing through her leg, like she was a piece of kindling” we’re forced to consider surgery in a light that makes us uncomfortable. Unfortunately, the show suffers from being too long. Tina dies a little past halfway into the show, and the rest of the play becomes an extended falling action. Though there are some crucial conversations that reveal both the release, some of what is said by certain characters is redundant. This is not to suggest that this dialogue is not effective, but the resonance of certain speeches would have been stronger if this

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play hadn’t wrung me out a little too much. By the end, I didn’t have the figurative breathing room necessary to consider the very real ethical questions this play brings up. And the main question is this: If someone is suffering and there is no chance of their ever living a “normal” fulfilling existence is it more merciful to kill them or let them live? In this difficult matter we all have our own beliefs. But whether we believe that Doug’s course of action is right or wrong, Mourning Dove shows us that he is no monster — just painfully human. So before we judge him, we should at least attempt to understand his choice, and to this end the play does a good job of developing just the arena to learn. More importantly, and to the production’s credit, the end of the play allows the audience to come to their own conclusions. Mourning Dove, a Theatre & Company production, is playing until November 12, 2006. More information about showtimes and ticket prices can be found at www. theatreandcompany.org.

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arts

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FRIDAY, october 27, 2006

Dark anime explores complex justice

With haunting artistry, newly-released Death Note contrasts two opposing means of combatting crime Obata Takeshi, Ooba Tsugumi Death Note Viz Media

Death Note, the original series co-created by artist Oba Tsugumi and Hikaru no Go’s Obata Takeshi, is not to be taken lightly. Unlike Hukaru no Go, from the drawing style down to the plot and characters, the anime takes a very serious turn. The artwork is very sophisticated. It belongs to a new wave of anime where both people and background details are equally and lovingly developed. The characters, as such, are very realistic. Unlike the “chibi” style of Sailor Moon and Card Captor Sakura, the citi-

zens in Death Note are proportioned to real life size. Both their body structures and facial features are very human-like, and so able to convey more compelling emotions. Death Note’s storyline complements its artistic style quite well. Together the two stand out from the long list of new anime reaching North America, and serve to make the series’ dark theme and non-humorous tone very clear to viewers. The story itself begins when Ryuk, a shinnagami from the realm of death gods, becomes bored and drops his “death note” into the mortal world. This death note, which gets picked up by Yagami Raito, a high school student genius, is a magical human slaying

weapon — a kind of doomsday ledger, if you will. This weapon is so powerful, in fact, that anyone who gets their name written in a death note will, as a default, die 40 seconds later of a heart attack. Furthermore, if the note bearer specifies the victim’s cause of death he will be given an extra six minutes to follow with details; six minutes and forty seconds later the victim, instead of dying of a heart attack (unless so specified), will live out the cause of their death, as written in the ledger, to a tee. However, killing with a death note isn’t so simple. In order to take someone’s life, the note bearer must also be able to picture the person’s face in their mind. This later on contributes to the intriguing plot when L, the note bearer’s arch nemesis, makes his appearance. After picking up the death note and meeting Ryuk, Raito sets out to kill off the world’s greatest criminals. Soon, police officials begin to suspect the coincidences of the case. They send L, a mysterious master detector whose face is unknown to everyone but himself, to uncover the truth. Both L and Raito believe that they are the icons of justice. L views Raito’s killing spree as wrongful murder and is determined to punish all criminals. Raito on the other hand,

believes that he is righteous in his actions. They both don’t know each other’s name or face, and the first one to identify the other will be put to death. One wields a death note, and the other holds the power of death row behind him. To date, while already released in Japan and subtitled on the internet, only three episodes have thus far been aired in North America. However, after watching even the first episode, Death Note will make you yearn for more. Its artistic value and storyline are comparable to those of Cowboy Bebop and Wolf ’s Rain. The main characters’ viewpoints will also make you question what you would do if you were in either of their situations. There is no real sense of protagonist and antagonist, hero and villain, in Death Note: instead, both characters views are portrayed as valid, and so ultimately the “right” perspective is for the viewer alone to decide. We are taught to value all life, and that killing criminals is also wrong. However, Raito’s killing not only rids the world of dangerous offenders but also decreased the crime rate. Ultimately, in this riveting anime, viewers have to ask themselves: Which side would you take? — Dinh Nguyen

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Marie Antoinette Sofia Coppola Sony Pictures

Young Maria Antonia is awakened as a maid pulls back the curtains and sunlight bursts into the room. She giggles as her little dog begs for food while she is being dressed. She is the 14-year-old archduchess of Austria and today she is being sent to France to become the wife of Louis-Auguste, the heir to the French throne, to cement a friendship between the two nations. At the official handoff, she is stripped, literally, of all her Austrian belongings and taken to meet her future family. Her bashful husband will not consummate their marriage for the next seven years. The king, Louis XV, is actively trying to secure a title for his mistress, who is despised by all the courtesans. It seems the whole palace is deathly interested in her sex life, or lack thereof. This, madam, is Versailles, and it is the setting of all scenes but one for the rest of the movie. Some wonderful moments straight out of a high school film follow: gossip, sneaking off to a masked ball, watching the sun rise after a night of partying, wistfully gazing out the carriage window, lying on the bed and trying

to converse in a daze, copious amounts of champagne and, of course, smoking a pipe. Marie knew how to party. At 18, she becomes Queen of France when the king dies of smallpox. Having spent most of their time hunting, partying or lounging around, the royal couple is not prepared for the role. The young queen is accused of bankrupting the nation. Was it true? The movie does not address the issue in great detail, or any other issue outside her personal life for that matter. After a visit from Marie’s brother, who presumably explains the process to the king, she is finally impregnated, but alas with a girl. She does later succeed in producing a male heir, but he will not ascend to the throne. That whole revolution thing happens and the Palace of Versailles is under siege. You know the rest. In a film based on a historical figure — especially such a well known one as the last queen of France — the audience already knows the story and ending before it steps foot in the theatre. They go see it for the exposition, and there should be no disappointments there. Filmed on location in Versailles, the movie has gorgeous visuals. Just watch the table as the royal couple eats breakfast each morning for the kind of decadence only fit for royalty. The acting is great all-around, but Jason Schwartzman gets a special mention for making his lack of desire to sleep with the beautiful and willing Kirsten Dunst appear normal. On her part, Dunst delivers a perfect performance as a teen stuck in thick ritualism. Instead of giving a dry history lesson, writer/director Sofia Coppola turns the movie into a meditation on a strong female character imprisoned in a hopeless setting — an emerging theme in her films. Know, however, that this is not a historical movie; the truth was distorted at will for greater cinematic effect. In a controversial move, Coppola has all the actors speak in their natural accent and with current language, which makes the film feel more modern and the characters more empathic. Even more divisive is the usage of contemporary music, but it too helps the material be more lively and palatable. Considering the end result is a sympathetic pseudo-biography, the gambles pay off with a successful picture. — Kirill Levin


S cience A proactive approach to ergonomics Friday, october 27, 2006

Imprint

21

science@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Science Editor: Rob Blom Science Assistant: Stephanie Anderson

Canadian Foundation for Innovation awards UW Prof. Clark Dickerson for his work in digital ergonomics Adam Gardiner staff reporter

Picture yourself doing an all-nighter in your room. You’ve been typing for hours, and your wrists, arms and shoulders are just aching. Your chair and the layout of your desk aren’t helping much, as they force you to hold your body and move your joints in an uncomfortable way. Clearly, making some adjustments to how you sit and where you place your work items might help make the sore muscle situation better. But what if everything had already been arranged so that you never developed the problem in the first place? That’s the type of question that drives the research of Dr. Clark Dickerson, a kinesiology professor at UW. He calls it the “proactive” perspective, a rising trend in ergonomic studies that moves research away from case studies of problems and into the world of concepts. “In a reactive approach,” Dickerson told Imprint in an interview, “once the problem has been identified, you try to fix the situation, usually of the work space. In a proactive approach you try to get it right the first time and avoid all the problems.” For Dickerson, who joined UW’s department of kinesiology in 2005, that results in the creation of projects such as enabling advanced digital ergonomics and shoulder biomechanics research. The project uses digital technology and high-tech equipment to create and test virtual work environments using laboratory experiments and biomechanical computer models. By making simulated humans perform a variety of repeated tasks in these models, Dickerson and his team can see what musculoskeletal problems would arise as a result, and can adjust their models accordingly. The goal is to create safer work environments before they are even built, thus preventing certain musculoskeletal disorders from ever afflicting prospective workers. “Our work takes place at the intersection of kinesiology and engineering, as both fields are important,” said Dickerson. It’s also a perfect combination of Dickerson’s specialties and interests. “I am an engineer by training,” he said. “I did mechanical engineering as an undergrad, and then transitioned into bone biomechanics. While at Michigan, I [moved] from that into more applied biomechanics, and that’s because my major focus was translating my work into applied solutions or ways to help people in ergonomics or workplace design. My second half of that major interest is shoulder function, which I am very interested in. I did

adam gardiner

Sachin Raina (left), a graduate student of Prof. Dickerson, takes part in an experiment that attempts to mathematically model the complex system of a shoulder. A new grant will go straight into the infrastructure of his research. my PhD on shoulder function and shoulder mechanics. The two areas work together to answer important questions.” He is also glad to be working in an academic environment such as the kinesiology department here at UW. “As an engineer, I was primarily trained for the industrial sector,” he says, “What I like about this job is the ability to answer questions that you’re asking yourself, to answer your own question or decide what questions need to be answered; in a company, you’re often solving

someone else’s problems.” He also enjoys the opportunity teaching gives him to train future kinesiologists, as he can help them “independently start asking these types of questions and developing their own answers.” But answers do not come easily for Dickerson and his team; their research involves a great deal of work, especially when it comes to the complex computer models they create. To one who is unfamiliar with such things, the model at work isn’t initially obvious. A looping video

shows the simulated human, or part of the human, performing an easy task, such as lifting and moving his arm; another window shows only the bones doing the same movement, while a mix of blue and red lines, representing the muscles of the upper arm and shoulder, move and simulate stress levels accordingly. Another window shows the changing data force levels predicted for each individual muscle as the task is performed. See INNOVATION, page 22

Yellowstone Park trifle in comparison to Canada’s north Darcy Higgins staff reporter

Environmental groups were applauding federal environment minister Rona Ambrose this week as a significant conservation agreement was achieved in Canada’s North. A joint agreement was made between the federal government and Chief Adeline Jonasson of the Lutsel K’e Dene First Nation to create Canada’s newest national park, nearly four times the size of Yellowstone Park. The agreement took the form of a Memorandum of Understanding (MOU) between the groups, with commitment to study and decide upon how the Dene will handle responsibilities of park management. A community of just 350 people promoted the park plan for the 35,000 km2 piece of land east of Great Slave Lake called Thaydene Nene (meaning land of the ancestors), with the support of large conservation groups such as World Wildlife Fund

(WWF) and Canadian Parks and Wilderness Society (CPAWS). “The protection of Thaydene Nene is critical to the continued integrity of not only this pristine and beautiful natural landscape, but also to the well-being of the Akaitcho Dene people who have thrived on this land since time immemorial,” said Chief Adeline Jonasson. “The signing of this MOU is a significant step forward towards the conservation of our sacred places and cultural heritage.” Ambrose made the good news announcement, saying, “Canada’s new government believes that Canadians have a special love for and spiritual connection to national parks, places that are special, places where the beauty of nature is for all to behold.” According to Monte Hummel, president Emeritus of WWF-Canada, “In many ways, this community of 350 people has bravely pioneered conservation measures that should be a model

for all of us in Canada. They have insisted on the right to plan and reserve areas important to them while they still can, in the face of intense industrial pressure, especially from uranium and diamond exploration.” Staking of land for mining still occurs, according to Hummel, even with local communities objecting. The area has been slated for national park status since 1970, but has taken time, partly because of a fear of losing hunting rights. The Dene claim to have lived in the area for 7,000 years. The park preservation is particularly important for sensitive wildlife species that inhabit the region including large mammals and birds. Caribou that live and migrate in the area are classified as an endangered species. Overhunting has significantly reduced herd numbers, and pipelines threaten the future of the species. The Dene have relied on caribou for clothing and shelter, and continue to be an important food source. Ecosystem damage has been occurring

in the Northwest Territories due to climate change, toxic contaminants, oil and gas exploration, and diamond mining, the result of industrialization and material desires of those in southern Canada. The first diamond discovery in Canada happened in the Northwest Territories in 1991, and since then, $2.8 billion dollars worth has been extracted. The mining process can be very environmentally damaging, though some problems can be mitigated. The Diavik Diamond Mines, near the Thaydene Nene, monitor caribou populations with the assistance of Aboriginal elders. Meanwhile, stronger networks of protected land are being promoted, such as the Yellowstone to Yukon Conservation Initiative. These protect caribou and other species. Without such initiatives, conservationists say Canada’s North may be permanently altered. dhiggins@imprint.uwaterloo.ca


science

22

FRIDAY, october 27, 2006

iRiver pushes bounds of standard MP3 player MP3 players head to head iRiver CLIX

iPod Nano

2 GB 2.2” screen 24 hr battery WMP compatible voice recorder intergrated FM tuner FLASH compatible wallpaper changes movement: clicks downloadable games

2 GB 1.6” screen 14 hr battery iTunes compatible only N/A accessory required N/A N/A movement: touch scrolls downloadable games

UNDERGRADUATES!!!! Interested in Graduate Studies and Summer Student Positions in Interdisciplinary Medical Research? Join us for our Department of Medical Biophysics Open House for prospective graduate and summer students. Potential areas of research: ¾ Molecular Genetics of Cancers ¾ Cellular & Molecular Biology ¾ Medical Physics & Imaging ¾ Molecular & Structural Biology When? Saturday, November 4, 2006, from 9:30 a.m. – 1:30 p.m. with a welcome presentation at 10:00 a.m. Where? Ontario Cancer Institute/Princess Margaret Hospital (OCI/PMH), 610 University Avenue, 7th Floor Atrium, Toronto, Ont. Visit the various booths set up by labs, meet Professors, PostDoctoral Fellows and Graduate Students for informal discussions, and tour the research facilities. For more information, please visit our website at http://medbio.utoronto.ca

Free Admission * Free Lunch * On-Site Registration Sponsored by the Dept of Medical Biophysics at the University of Toronto in conjunction with the Research Divisions of the Ontario Cancer Institute (Princess Margaret Hospital) and the Sunnybrook Health Sciences Centre

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Apple revolutionalized the MP3 industry with its iPod line of products, and then many more times with successive generations. All this while, as Apple dominated the market, iRiver concentrated mainly on hard drive portable music players. Four generations later, the iRiver is now finally surpassing the iPod with their iRiver CLIX. The iRiver CLIX is a mindblowing new product that has all the features of an iPod video and

its accessories combined. Additionally, the physical qualities surpass the iPod Nano itself. With a 2.2 inch screen, a whopping 25-hour battery life and a gaming console, the CLIX is definitely the product for any university student. Endorsed by Microsoft as a “product to look out for,” the CLIX has everything from a voice recorder to a text reader — in which one can place any text file and read it on the go — on a screen that is considerably larger than that of the Nano. iRiver also loaded the CLIX with wallpaper elements, pictures, a voice recorder, a digital FM tuner and an option to switch between portrait and landscape views. This exceptionally user-friendly product functions using a clicking

mechanism rather than the famous iPod scroll-wheel system. The four corners of the screen actually double as buttons that can be clicked in order to use all the functionality of the player. Another useful feature is the compression algorithm that allows the user to place about 18 episodes of Grey’s Anatomy on the player after compressing it with iRiver’s iRiverter software whereas fewer episodes of the same qualitywill fit on a Nano of the same size. A perfect combination with its extended battery life and stellar graphics. For more information on the iRiver CLIX and its applications, visit their website at www.iriveramerica.com. — Gautam Khanna

Invisibility cloak not confined to Hogwarts Sasha Campbell imprint intern

A US-British research team has invented cloaking technology that would make an object invisible to microwaves and radar. While this does not hide the object completely — you can still see it with the naked eye — the introduction of this technology brings us closer than ever to the development of an invisibility cloak. The “cloak” works by using fibreglass rings covered with copper elements. These metamaterials are artificial composite materials that gain their electromagnetic material properties from their structure rather than inheriting them directly from the materials they are composed of. David R. Smith, professor of electrical and computer engineering at Duke’s University said, “The cloak would act like you’ve opened up a hole in space. All light or other electromagnetic waves are swept around the area, guided by the metamaterial to emerge on the other side as if they had passed through an empty volume of space.” It would be like water passing over a rock in a river — there is no indication of the rock once the water has passed it.

While this technology has many potential military and communications uses, the project itself was not funded by the military, according to David Schurig, one of the Duke University scientists working on the cloak. “In the past our projects have been funded by the military, specifically the navy and air force,

“The cloak would act like you’ve opened up a hole in space.” — Dr. David R. Smith, Duke University

but in this case our only current funding is from the IC [Intellectual Community] Postdoctorate Fellowship,” says Schurig. This innovation will also affect current and future students in the field of optics technology, particular students of “transformation optics” — the technical term for the researchers’ field of study.

Their task is to design a transformation technique where they build a material that can bend light based on theoretical space. The key is to theorize about how light would be bent in a universe where there could be holes in visible light, and to develop technology that would adapt our light wavelengths to behave in such a manner. When asked how far scientists were from developing a full cloaking device that, theoretically, could completely hide an object from view, Schurig responded, “We’re about five or ten years away from making such advanced technology a reality. There are engineering problems with the concept: visible light wavelengths are much smaller than microwaves, and thus much more difficult to manipulate. To hide an object completely it would have to be hidden from every single wavelength of the colour spectrum.” This would surely be a gargantuan task, one today’s scientists do not yet have the technology to tackle. The introduction of this cloaking technology will have far-reaching effects in many scientific fields, particularly in the development of optical devices such as lenses. scampbell@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Innovation: understanding the musculoskeletal complexities of human movement Continued from page 21

However, Dickerson points out that adjusting and refining biomechanical models such as these is an ongoing process spanning years in length. “In the case of modeling the shoulder,” said Dickerson, “it’s a very complex system, and work on our current one — our laboratory model — started essentially in 2000, so it’s been going on six years. But it keeps changing and evolving in response to different questions that we ask about shoulder function, and certain muscle use strategies. And all those different things complicate the implementation. So it’s more of a process of years than, say, weeks and months, to really develop a mathematical modelling as complicated as this one.”

But the work pays off, both on a personal level and when it comes to recognition elsewhere. The Canadian Foundation for Innovation recently awarded Dickerson a grant of over $175,000 for his ongoing digital ergonomics project; combined with grants provided by the government and industry, it brings Dickerson’s total budget to over $470,000. Dickerson said the money will go straight into infrastructure that is crucial to his continuing research. “It’s generally for newer faculty to help establish research capacity,” he said. “In this case, it is for six specific pieces of equipment that will help experimentally validate these models as well as answer other questions related to shoulder function.” In addition to his own research at UW, Dickerson also works with the labour, occupational and health and

safety associations of various industries, as well as other members of the department. Among his many other projects are a look at safer ways for electricians to install hydrometers, a study of the effects new technology has on the interior of police cruisers and efforts with fellow kinesiology professor Jack Callaghan to develop an occupational cumulative shoulder exposure tool. Dickerson admits it can be a challenge balancing all these projects when there is so much more he still wants to do. “[There’s] not enough time to do everything, I guess,” he said. “As professors, we all love teaching and we all love research. It can be challenging to do both at the same time. But that’s the job.” agardiner@imprint.uwaterloo.ca


science

FRIDAY, october 27, 2006

Small genome stuns scientists Uncharacteristic genome may answer evolutionary question Stephanie Anderson assistant science editor

The endosymbiont theory is not foreign territory for evolutionary biologists. The mitochondria originated as a prokaryote which was taken up by a eukaryotic cell hundreds of millions of years ago. In the October 13 issue of Science, the smallest bacterial genome to date was reported. Carsonella rudii, a bacterium which resides indefinitely in the Hackberry Petiole Gall Psyllid, Pachypsylla venusta, was found by Atsushi Nakabachi and colleagues to have about 60 per cent of the genes required to live in an endosymbiotic state. “It seems wildly improbable at a glance,” said Dr. Bernard Duncker, an associate biomedical professor at the University of Waterloo, “[it] breaks all the rules you thought existed.” C. rudii has a total of 182 genes, most of which are for protein synthesis and amino acid metabolism. The rest of its 118 genes — including membrane synthesis genes, DNA replication genes and energy metabolism genes — have been transferred into the nucleus of its host, P. vanusta. There is a very high gene density in C. rudii of 97.3 per cent that proves that it has the most stream-lined genome encountered to date.

This is “reminiscent of what has gone on to create organelles,” continued Dr. Duncker. He doesn’t believe that enough has been done to prove that it is indefinitely becoming an organelle. Researchers still need to investigate what C. rudii does for its host. An important aspect of organelle-formation is the proof that the symbiont is required for the host to persist.

“It seems wildly improbable at a glance … it breaks all the rules you thought existed.” — Dr. Bernard Duncker, University of Waterloo

In endosymbiotic relationships, a symbiont lives within the body of a host organism without a deleterious effect on the host. The relationship is a mutual one in which both parties benefit. The symbiont may produce nutrients that the host requires which are

hard to attain otherwise, and the host provides specialized cells for the symbiont to reside in. The symbiotic relationship is maintained through generations by transmission of the symbiont from the host to its progeny (known as vertical transmission). Although the genome size of symbionts is greatly reduced when compared to the smallest genomes of bacteria, 400 kilobases was the previously defined limit in genome size. This was defined as the minimum requirement for any cellular organisms. The implications of this discovery are great. If C. rudii progressed to become an organelle, it would allow scientists to observe the stages of development in great detail. This would also provide direct proof of the endosymbiont theory and the theory of evolution. If C. rudii does not progress to become an organelle, it will push the boundaries of what scientists believed to be the extent of an endosymbiotic relationship. It will not only redefine the criteria of endosymbiotic relationships, it will also be an eye-opener for scientists, changing the perspectives of how they may look at the constituents of life. sanderson@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

23

Rheumatoid arthritis linked to garbage disposal over expressed in arthritis patients were also seen to be increased in the mutated mice. Macrophages that became conJapanese scientists discovered that mice incapable of degrading surplus centrated with garbage DNA began DNA form a pathogenic state similar to accumulate in the mice’s bone marrow, spleen and liver. These macto arthritis. Rheumatoid arthritis is an inflam- rophages began releasing the inflammatory disease which afflicts four matory activation signal molecule million Canadians and is often a crip- TNF-α. This occurred before the pling disease. Presently, the common damage to the mice was observed. When an antibody to TNF-α was treatment is anti-inflammatory drugs administered to the which attempt to mice, the inflammareduce the amount of tion decreased. The inflammation. Rheumatoid antibody represses Our bodies create the activity of TNFa large amount of surarthritis is an α. The same results plus DNA, otherwise inflammatory were seen in human known as ‘garbage’ patients who were DNA. Up to 1018 disease which given an antibody to genomes worth of TNF-α. DNA are discarded afflicts four One explanation each day; this DNA comes mainly from million Canadians is that people suffering from arthritis the many cells that die have a defect in their every day. Garbage DNA is picked up by scavenging mac- DNase II gene. This would follow rophages and degraded by an enzyme with the observation that arthritis called DNase II present in these cells. tends to run in families. With this new Scientists created mice that had a insight into the aetiology of arthritis, mutation in their DNase II enzymes, scientists might be able to form a making the mice incapable of break- therapy which eliminates the cause ing down DNA. The joints of these of disease, instead of prescribing mice became inflamed and had an anti-inflammatory drugs to treat the eroded appearance similar to the state symptoms only. arthritis patients experience. Inflamfnaqib@imprint.uwaterloo.ca matory signal molecules that become Faisal Naqib

imprint staff

Campus Bulletin Classifieds ONGOING

VOLUNTEER

CHURCH SERVICE

TUESDAYS Join us for Scottish County dancing every Tuesday from September to May, 8 to 10 p.m., at Historic St. Paul’s, downtown Kitchener. Adult classes, dances, annual workshops, Burn’s Supper. For info 519-5762378 or 519-884-5402 or www.rscds. kitchener.on.ca. SATURDAYS Common and unique technology – every Saturday 7 a.m. to 2 p.m. Kitchener’s Saturday Market, main floor above food vendors, free parking! www.eq-trm.com.

Help shape YOUR student newspaper’s future. Imprint is looking for volunteers to help hire our next Editor-in-Chief. If interested e-mail Jeff Anstett at president@imprint. uwaterloo.ca. Volunteer assistance needed — Waterloo family is looking for enthusiastic, energetic people who are great with kids. We are running an intensive home-based program to help our lovable four-year-old autistic son recover. If you are reliable, fun and able to volunteer four hours per week, please call Nancy at 519-725-8255. No experience is required – training is provided by our autism specialist. Participants required for Anterior Cruciate Ligament (ACL) deficiency study – the Biomechanics Laboratory is seeking volunteers who have had an ACL. Remuneration in the amount of $50 will be given for your participation. For information please contact Chris by e-mail at cistecro@ uwaterloo.ca. The K-W-Guelph chapter of the Canadian Association for Girls in Science (CAGIS) is looking for volunteers to help plan, run events, etc. For more info email ajung.cagis@ gmail.com. Thinking of going into the teaching profession? Volunteer tutors needed for adult high school credits - math, English, science, computers. Call the Open Door Centre (WRDSB), 108 University Ave., W., Waterloo, 519885-0800, ext. 205. Volunteer Action Centre recruitment – “Enhance the quality of life for someone with mental health issues”: training and support provided. Call Carmen at 519-744-7645, ext 229 or abelc@cmhawrb.on.ca. “UNICEF is inviting event volunteers out to a Monster Mash”: volunteers are needed for concession, sales, children activities, etc. on Oct 28 and 29. Call Delia at 519-772-5437 after 5 p.m.

St. Bede’s chapel at Renison College offers worship on Sundays at 10:30 a.m. or take a break mid-week with a brief silence followed by Celtic noon prayers on Wednesdays. For more info call 519-884-4404, ext 26604 or mcolling@renison.uwaterloo.ca

SERVICES

i-TUTOR is a FREE student resource. We encourage learning and promote education within Ontario. Tutors are university students who are independent of this organization and have their own rate. http://www. i-tutor.ca.

ANNOUNCEMENTS UW Fine Arts Students “Annual Works on Paper Juried Exhibition” from October 14 to November 5 at the Artery Gallery, 158 King Street, W., Kitchener. http://artery.uwaterloo.ca. Opening reception October 13 from 7 to 9 p.m. Hey students! Tune in weekly to “Morning Drive” with DJ Cool at CKMS 100.3FM for important info on what is happening locally, on campus and in your area. Music, fun and more – morningdrive1@yahoo.ca. Before you go ... are you planning for a co-op term in the winter? Unsure of how to sublet your apartment? Want a second opinion on your sublet agreement before signing? Contact your Ombudsperson for all your questions by calling 519-888-4567, ext 32402 or drop in to SLC, 3rd floor, room 3104, Monday to Friday 9:30 a.m. to 3:30 p.m.

FINANCIAL AID October 2006 October 27: deadline for OSAP reviews. October 30: last day to submit <http://safa.uwaterloo.ca.forms. html#bursaryforms> Undergraduate Bursary Applications for fall and winter term. November 1: recommended submission date for OSAP rollover form to add winter only term. November 3: deadline to sign confirmation of enrollment for Canada Millennium Bursary. For more information, check out the Student Awards & Financial Aid web site at http://safa.uwaterloo.ca/.

UPCOMING Monday, October 30, 2006 A celebration of music, musicians and community! Support the K-W Symphony’s SOS campaign by atteding a benefit concert at Centre in the Square at 7:30 p.m. For more info call 519-745-4711, ext 288. Thursday, November 2, 2006 The Department of Drama and Speech Communication invites you to “Make Your Future Shine Bright” at Career Night 2006, in the Festival Room, South Campus Hall at 7 p.m. Fair Vote Canada Waterloo Region Chapter presentation at 7 p.m. in Arts Lecture Hall, room 208, UW. For more info www.fairvotecanada.org. Saturday, November 18, 2006 Ontario University Competition for Hiphop – UW PAC, 3 p.m. For info www.geocities.com/uw_hiphop/

HELP WANTED Weekend counsellors and relief staff to work in homes for individuals with developmental challenges. Minimum eight-month commitment. Paid positions. Send resumé to Don Mader, KW Habilitation Services, 108 Sydney Street, Kitchener, ON, N2G 3V2. Web designer wanted – K-W E-commerce company needs new websites created. Experience preferred but not necessary. Contact Brendan at brendan_sheehan@hotmail.com or in person at Colonial Times Clock Ltd, 2-564 Weber Street, N., Waterloo.

EDUCATION The Toronto Art Therapy Institute announces new options for streamlined training in art therapy. Please visit www.tati.on.ca or call 416-9246221.

SERVICES Proofreading – editing: Assignments, theses, letters, statements. We correct grammar and improve logic and flow. Onscreen, fast, professional. 30 years experience. Full details at www. checkedit.com. E-mail checkedit@ cogeco.ca. Phone (905) 335-3192. J&A Airbrush, 84 Queen Street, S., Kitchener, 519-342-3147 or www.jandaairbrush.com. We paint anything on everything! Violin Lessons – Experienced teacher and K-W Symphony violinist accepting new students. Beginners and adults welcome. 519-745-4492.

HOUSING Premium three-bedroom townhouse unit in a professionally managed student complex. Perfect for students, close to UW campus. Call Perry now

at 519-746-1411 for all the details and to set up a showing. Ask us about your signing bonus and gifts! Attention Cambridge School of Architecture students! Live conveniently and comfortably right across the street from school in this beautifully renovated apartment. 4, 8 and 12-month leases available with excellent signing bonuses and rental incentives! Call Perry at 519-746-1411 for more details. Sublet available January 2007. Furnished, laundry, parking, two kitchens, baths, livingrooms. Midwood Crescent, roommates 2 male and 2 female. Two minute walk to grocery. $415/month inclusive. ekmoores@ artsmail.uwaterloo.ca. 418-648-9192, Erin.


science

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FRIDAY, october 27, 2006

We all know our cars pollute, but we often forget that our food travels long distances, too. A lot of our fresh food is shipped in from all over the world. Some call this “eating oil” when you consider that 80 per cent of our produce in Ontario is shipped in from outside the province on planes and trucks. Corporate agribusiness has made it more financially appealing to grocers to buy from subsidized Californian producers and cheap Mexican farms rather than local farmers. For the small rural Ontario farmer, it is very difficult to supply a supermarket. They expect you to provide them with their broccoli 365 days of the year. That’s the challenge and what’s putting Canadian farmers out of business. Often the only option is to sell to the sprawling cities which are hungrily gobbling up yummy fertile agriculture land and develop single family monster homes.

But you, yes you, can do something to help our suffering farmers in Canada. You can finally do something about those tonnes and tonnes of carbon weighing down your meals by going on the 100 Mile Diet (or the 160 km diet). This is an easy way to think about eating locally and actually helps lose weight as the diet involves lots of fresh produce with less processed foods. I’m not saying that you should have to give up olives from the Mediterranean or French red wine, but buying only local produce and meat can reduce climate change and help the local community. Local or not, another healthy diet is the Familiar Ingredients Diet. If you don’t know what an ingredient is, or even how to pronounce it, find a more natural substitute or make it yourself. So how to go about shedding your food emissions? You can start today by actively noticing where your products are coming from when shopping at the grocery store. In large supermarkets, it can be difficult to know exactly where you’re your potatoes or boneless, skinless chicken breasts are coming from; in this case, only buy products from Ontario or Canada. If you are having difficulties doing this, complain to

the manager that you would like an improvement in the local selection of fresh food. You can do this in person, over the phone, or by writing an e-mail or letter. Of course, the local market is always an excellent source of local foods. The great thing about the market is it’s fun, cheap, uses much less packaging than a supermarket and often you get meet the farmers and their families directly and ask questions about your food. Or, if you have a green thumb, use it and grow your own vegetables. Encourage others to make use of green urban areas and organize a community garden, even if it’s just between you and your immediate neighbours. I think one of the best options for eating locally is Community Supported Agriculture (CSA). CSA is a relatively new socio-economic model of food production and sales aimed at supporting local farmers. There are already over 200 CSAs in Canada, most close to big cities. CSA is a risk venture by the farmer and the consumer as people buy a share in the farm in the spring and then the farmers do their best to grow and raise the food for the CSA members. It’s about providing a direct connection between the farmer

and the consumer. You’ll get a sense that they are “your” farmer, same as you have a doctor or a dentist. Each week the farmer bundles up a variety of fresh food and makes a basket for the member. And the cost is actually comparable to what’s offered at Sobeys. Some CSAs delivery directly, or bring to a general meeting place, or some small farms ask people to come to the farm for pick-up. Buying local is more than just produce and protecting the land; it’s about building community. Many CSAs have several barbecues and get together to thank their members for their support. Children can come to the farms and help pick cherry tomatoes. You can ask for special orders, tips on preserving, recipes and the list goes on. Unfortunately it’s getting close to the end of the growing season in the area, so research a CSA now for next spring. This may involve actually talking to farmers and getting a sense of who they are, as many don’t have webpages. Please visit my blog for a list of places in the Waterloo area that sell local produce and some other sites about eating locally at http://sustainablesteps.blogspot.com.

a rapid new method of treatment to resist their invasions. According to studies at the University of Massachusetts, the ability to create these bacteria fighters should provide the ability to fight off microbial invasions such as anthrax and other dangerous lineages. The method is based on the ability to use the amino acid “alphabet” to create different strings of letters able to invade the attacking bacteria. According to the study, bacteria-fighting grammar rules are equivalent to basic spelling rules such as “I before E except after C.”

the many uses that could come of it. The DNA computer might be useful for efficient biomedical detection of diseases and drugs. Biologists are now developing custom DNA molecules that are able to create algorithms equivalent to the real silicon based computers. The DNA computers are composed of series of DNA strands in small wells referred to as gates. These DNA gates are able to input and solve information, hence their ability to complete a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. The potential of this new method could have a huge impact on bioinformatics technology and pharmacogenomics research.

mass ejections. These ejections occur when “loops” of solar matter break off of the Sun heaving plasma into space with a temperature of hundreds of thousands of degrees at a speed of approximately 400 km/s. “With Stereo, we want to understand how CMEs get started and how they move through the solar system,” Mike Kaiser of NASA’s Goddard Space Flight Centre reports. “When a big storm hits and the conditions are just right, you can get disturbances on power grids […] even airline companies that fly polar routes are concerned about this because CMEs can black out plane communications, and you can get increased radiation doses on the crew and passengers.” The launch will occur from Cape Canaveral, Florida, on two Delta-2 rockets in a window beginning on October 26 at 1:38 a.m.

tgarland@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

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The ABCs of fighting bacteria

New research found an advanced and interesting way to fight off nasty bacteria — using elementary school grammar. This odd method of conquering drug-resistant microbes seems to follow rules of placement and order that are similar to grammar laws. Biologists are finding out that these drug-resistant bacterial strains can be easily defeated by potent bacteria fighters. These bacteria-fighters can be artificially created in laboratories and are able to act as a strong defense weapon against hard-to-fight pathogens. The difficulty of fighting off most bacterial strains is due to their ability to mutate repeatedly. Drug companies have to be able to anticipate these mutations and find

DNA computer masters the art of Tic-Tac-Toe

NASA to make movies of the sun

A computer made of DNA strands in small test tubes is now able to complete a game of Tic-Tac-Toe. The computer will win or draw every game. The importance of this advancement is the level of complexity in DNA computing and

A new mission entitled Stereo will produce 3-D movies of eruptions from the Sun to improve the ability of scientists to forcast “space weather.” The sun produces huge eruptions known as CMEs, or coronal

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UN researchers with the UN environment program have revealed a disturbing pattern rising from oceanic ecosystems. The number of “dead zones” in the world’s oceans have increased from 146 zones in 2003 to 200 this year. The areas are called “dead zones” because they are hypoxic; the water in these regions have unusually low oxygen content. This results in almost lifeless tracts of ocean. These dead zones, few in number when first assessed in the ’70s, are the result of anthropogenic changes triggering a chain reaction in the food chain.

The development of a dead zone starts with the release of water pollutants containing nitrates and phosphates in the form of agricultural wastes, fertilizers and sewage. Normally, nitrates and phosphates are foods that act as limiting reagents in oceanic ecosystems; their limited quantity controls the population of phytoplankton at the bottom of the food chain. With an influx of nitrates and phosphates, phytoplankton populations explode. The population increases exponentially until the food source is exhausted, at which point, the population dies off. This new influx of food source triggers a bacterial feeding frenzy; the bacteria

rapidly uses up the surrounding oxygen. Most other life forms can’t survive in such a low oxygen; they either die or flee the area, leaving it devoid of life. Dead zones can occur naturally, but it is a drastic increase in water pollutants that has created the hundreds of occurrences, some only a few kilometres wide, some stretching for thousands of kilometres. These zones are occurring off of all the world’s coastlines where pollutants and waste are commonly dumped. Anthropogenic dead zones are also a common occurrence in lakes. Hypoxia is reversible. Staunching the release of waste and pollution

— With files from BBC News, ENN and Scientific American

will limit the growth of ‘dead zones’ and allow existing zones to begin re-establishing themselves. Also, for inland dead zones, riparian areas close to the shore can be reinforced to minimize run-off from agricultural areas or other waste-producing activities. The UN Environment Program is alarmed at the rate at which the ‘dead zones’ are growing. The zones are achieving immense size, and threatening biodiversity in some areas. And, while the solution of limiting the dumping and dispersal of pollutants into oceanic regions is obvious, a call for change hasn’t been forthcoming.


Friday, october 27, 2006

sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Sports Editor: Shawn Bell Sports Assistant: Doug Copping

Sports Imprint

Women’s soccer heads to playoffs after two tough losses in final weekend James Rowe reporter

The Waterloo Warriors women’s soccer team had a tough slate on the last weekend of the season as they faced the top two teams in their division and dropped two close, one goal games. On October 21, the Warriors hosted the Brock Badgers. Waterloo was able to keep the Badgers off the scoresheet for most of the game. But with just six minutes remaining, Brock’s Rachael Hood managed to put one past Warriors’ goalkeeper Catherine Vanderburgh. The goal would stand up to give the Badgers a 1-0 win. Despite being held scoreless, the Warriors played a very strong game and had a number of good scoring chances but were repeatedly denied by Brock goalkeeper Tiffany Scriver. The next day, UW travelled to Hamilton to take on the McMaster Marauders. Once again it would be a tight game, with the Warriors’ strong defensive play keeping them in it until the very end. The Warriors again gave up the first goal, this one early in the second half, and once again their offence was unable to break through against McMaster goalkeeper Amy Holt. Samantha Batten was the lone goalscorer for the Marauders. Even though his team came away with two losses coach Peter Mackie was pleased with his team.

“We played probably our best two games of the year,” he said. “Our biggest concern is our finishing around the net. We’ve been unlucky and have to start to find the net, but we were right there with the two best teams in the division.” The losses marked the end of the regular season for the Warriors, and they finish up with a record of 4-64, good for sixth place in the OUA West Division. Waterloo was to open the playoffs on October 25 against the defending OUA champs, the York Lions. Results were not available as of press time. On the season, the Warriors dropped a 1-0 game to the Lions and played to a scoreless draw in their other encounter. Mackie expected another low scoring game this time around. “They’re a lot like us; they don’t give up a lot of goals and don’t score a lot either.” The Warriors gave up only 11 goals against in their 14 games this season. Mackie added that his team may try to use more of an attacking formation to try to spark some offence from his squad. The Warriors were led by striker Shannon Wolfe who had five goals on the season and they will look to Wolfe to provide an offensive spark once again in the playoffs. If UW beats York they would then once again face Brock in an OUA quarter-final in St. Catharines on Saturday, October 28.

Warriors lose to Western, hammer Windsor in week two Shawn Bell sports editor

Week two of the women’s hockey season saw the Warriors split a pair of home games, falling 1-0 to the Western Mustangs on October 20 and then rebounding for a dominating 5-0 win over Windsor two days later.

Shawn Bell

Warriors’ goalie Alexis Huber.

Friday night’s game saw the Warriors play hard, outshooting the Mustangs but to no avail as Western’s keeper Danielle Lebar stoned the Waterloo scorers. Huber played hard in net for the Warriors and only a third period Mustang shot snuck in for the difference. “We outchanced [Western],” Sarah Bryson said. “Only we couldn’t get it past their goalie. That’s the way it goes, sometimes you get the bounces and sometimes you don’t.” On Sunday it was an easier test with the winless Lancers in town. Waterloo’s captain Kaitlin Martin scored in the fourth minute and the Warriors never looked back. Melissa Quinn scored her first goal as a Warrior late in the first, Sarah Bryson scored her fourth goal of the young season to open the second, and later in the period Quinn scored her second of the game on a nice pass from her centre Jo-Ann Scott. The Warriors continued a hard forcheck in the third. The Lancers could mount very little attack, and off a turnover in Waterloo’s end Jenny Bults rushed with her linemate Krystal Benesch right behind. See HOCKEY, page 26

25

Warrior rugby start 1-1 in OUA playoffs Women host Mac Oct 28 with nationals on the line

Shawn Bell

Warrior offensive push on Columbia Lake field. The girls host Mac October 28 at 1:00 p.m. Shawn Bell sports editor

The Warriors hammered York to begin the OUA women’s rugby playoffs while MacMaster beat up on Toronto, and Guelph and Western waited, resting for the semi-finals. At Columbia Lake Field, the Lions were in over their heads from the start. Six minutes into the game the Warriors scored their first try and a convert to take a 7-0 lead. York tied the game at the 25-minute mark after two Waterloo penalties and then the Warriors took over. They added three more tries, two by Caitlin Martin, and two converts by Kendra Cook before the end of the first half for a 26-7 lead. “The girls were hungry for that game,” coach Eric Ciezer said. “They wanted the medal round and came out hard.” To start the second half the Warriors pounded in another try. The second string came out to rest the

starters and did a fine job. Near the end of the game York managed to capitalize on inexperience for two tries and it ended 31-17. The third-seed Warriors were now headed to a semi-final rematch with the number two Guelph Gryphons, who beat them 24-0 way back in week one. It was a sloppy Sunday in the cold, rain and the mud in Guelph. In the first half the Warriors’ defence put in a tough effort against the bigger girls in red and yellow. Near the end of the first the Gryphons capitalized on a Warrior penalty and scored a try. Ten minutes later they scored again and Waterloo trailed 12-0 at the half. To start the second half the Warriors moved the ball well, though the mud slowed their high-speed game, Martin burst free on the outside for a try that cut the lead to seven. That was all the Warriors could do on this

afternoon. Guelph scored another two tries and a penalty kick to earn an OUA finals appearance at Western and a berth in the Nationals. “The field was as bad as I’ve ever seen,” Ciezer said. “That really slowed our running game down, and we have a really good running game once we get going.” Mac lost to Western in the other semi-final and will visit Columbia Field on October 28 to do battle with the Warriors for the final spot in the nationals. “Last year we went to McMaster and lost a very close game,” Ciezer said. “This year we’re a little more prepared, a little stronger. And this year we have home field advantage. Its been our goal all year to finish top three and get to the nationals. We’re very determined and ready for Mac.” Game time is 1 p.m. at Columbia Lake fields. sbell@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Fantasy fix — NBA basketball Brody Hohman reporter

It’s a busy time for the fantasy freaks of the world with hockey and football leagues underway, but the best part is here: basketball! So I’ve put together an NBA fantasy draft preview. Sleepers Fred Jones (G) Tor — Finally out of the old school Indiana system, Jones will show what he can really do in Toronto’s up-tempo style, and what he can do is everything. Jones will win the Sixth Man Award, book it! Desmond Mason (G-F) NO/OK — Averaged 17.2 points just two years ago. His first year as a Hornet was a transition to say the least but this athletic specimen could rebound nicely, pardon the pun. Darko Milicic (F-C) Orl — Finally a shot for the second overall pick of “the draft.” Looked comfortable once in Orlando and 16 pts/9 rbs/3 blk at the worlds could lead to a breakout year. Center eligibility makes him very intriguing. OTHERS — Danny Granger, Gerald Green, Luke Ridnour, Andre Igoudala

Breakouts Charlie Villanueva (F) Mil — Magloire’s gone, Joe Smith’s gone, Bogut’s hurt…enter Charlie V. Josh Smith (F) Atl — A bad first half slowed his season down last year, but 20-plus points in 5 of last 11 games is promising. Blocks as well as anyone, rebounds, and knows how to score the basketball, and with style. Marvin Williams (F) Atl — Was the MVP of the Rocky Mountain Revue averaging 23.2 ppg. The absence of Al Harrington should provide more opportunity for the 20 year old phenom. OTHERS — Samuel Dalembert, Raymond Felton, Jameer Nelson, Channing Frye Notes q I think the Portland Trailblazers are a team could open some eyes this year after a season under Nate McMillan’s tutelage. For fantasy owners Zach Randolph, Darius Miles, Jamaal Magloire, and Brandon Roy could all prove useful fantasy starters while guys like Martell Webster, Travis Outlaw, LaMarcus Aldridge, Jarrett Jack,

and Joel Pryzbilla could be deep sleepers. q Let someone else pass on Shawn Marion, the man is a beast. He was the cornerstone of my team last year and was NBATV’s number one fantasy player in eight category leagues last season. He contributes in every category in an above average way except for assists and has missed 10 games in the last six years, performing wherever he plays. q “Glue” guys are key to a winning fantasy team. Guys like Udonis Haslem can contribute in less-heralded categories like Rebounding, FG%, FT%, or steals. Just make sure you have adequate scoring before adding specialists like Kyle Korver. q LeBron James is the number one fantasy player…no question. q Jorge Garbajosa may technically be a rookie but he’s a very seasoned veteran who shone in Europe. In his first six NBA pre-season games he made 12 of 30 three-point attempts, a category that could help make him a useful fantasy starter. q Don’t sleep on Gerald Wallace, he’s fantasy gold. In a breakout year last year he averaged 15.2 points, 7.5 rebounds, 2.5 steals, 2.1 blocks, and shot 53.8 per cent from the field.


sports Warriors beat York but miss playoffs 26

FRIDAY, october 27, 2006

Hockey:Warriors playing tough Continued from page 25

Bults was stopped but Benesch was there to tuck the rebound in for her first goal as a Warrior and a 5-0 victory for Waterloo (2-1-0-1). “I think we’re right where we expected to be,” Bryson said. “The entire team trained really hard over the off-season and came here in great shape. If we keep winning the games we’re supposed to win and keep playing hard in the games we’re not

expected to win, we’ll be in the top of the league for sure.” On October 28, the Warriors head through the park to the Waterloo Rec Complex for a battle with Laurier Golden Hawks. “Laurier will be tough,” Bryson said, “They have a lot of really quick players and good scorers. We have to focus on our systems and we’ll see if our systems can beat theirs.” Game time is 7:30 p.m. sbell@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

A duel of epic preportions

Jim Hagen

Freshman RB Justin Andrushko (1) runs over a Lion while the Warrior bench looks on. Mark Kimmich reporter

With ten members of the 2006-2007 Warriors football squad graduating, the October 21 match-up between Waterloo and York became even more crucial. Waterloo would need a victory over York and losses by Queen’s and Guelph to qualify for this years playoffs, and extend the careers of those fifth-year players into the post-season. Unfortunately, while Waterloo put forth a valiant effort and achieved an exciting victory over York that thrilled the sparse crowd, Queen’s upset Western to take the sixth and final playoff spot. Saturday’s game was truly a defensive battle as the final score of 13-8 for Waterloo would indicate. Waterloo managed to hold York to no points in the first half, but their meagre first-half offence kept the Lions in the game. Luckily, the six points Waterloo did muster in the first half on the strength of two Jason Cook field goals gave the home side the lead at the break. The Warriors

offensive first half included only 39 rushing yards, 54 passing yards and 6 first downs due in part to quarterback Jon Morbey’s two interceptions. The offensive output was likely hampered by the absence of some key players on offence including running back Travis Gellately, as well as having a less than 100 per cent quarterback, in Morbey, at the helm. In the second half, Morbey and wide receiver Sean Cowie took over the game and capitalized on the great field position handed to them by Cook’s stellar punting. Morbey connected with Cowie for three first downs and a touchdown in a drive that spanned nearly three and a half minutes of the fourth quarter to give the Warriors a 13-2 lead that they would not relinquish despite an exciting final drive by York that ended in an overthrown ball to York wide receiver Kevin Walsh, who played an otherwise great game, that sealed York’s fate. For the home side, there were some bright spots in what was otherwise a rather dreary day at university stadium. Rookie running back Justin Andrushko

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turned in a strong performance considering the difficult circumstances surrounding him as he ran for 65 tough yards on only 11 carries. His inside running was crucial in setting up the passing attack that came on strong in the second half. “I really didn’t stress too much coming in,” Andrushko said. “The guys made me comfortable before the game, so I just went out and played to the best of my ability,” Second-year receiver Cowie turned in an especially strong second half of football and he ended the game with 124 yards on 9 receptions that included the game-winning touchdown. Game MVP honours went to Waterloo kicker/punter Jason Cook who converted both of his field goals, an extra point, and punted 3 balls to inside the 10 yard line, with another inside the 20 to give the Warriors great field position all day. Unfortunately, as the team celebrated their victory, they became aware that Queen’s had upset Western to steal the last playoff spot, sparking some strong emotion from the team. “We came out here knowing what the scenario was,” said linebacker and graduating senior, Paul Kowalik. “We had our responsibilities: to win this game and only worry about this game. Everything else was out of our control. In the end we did what we had to do. We took care of ours, however, that’s the way it happens. That’s football.” That was a sentiment echoed by another graduating senior, Morbey, who played a gutsy final game. “Its really bittersweet, to end on a game like that and not even make the playoffs,” he said “but you’ve got to move forward.” The 10 graduating seniors are: QB Jon Morbey, LB Paul Kowalik, WR Adam Welsh, DB Drew Haynes, RB Travis Gellately, FB Alex Balloway, DE Trevor Derreck, FB Ryan Felhaber, C Matt Fraser and OT Chris Best. With the future in mind, Waterloo, despite losing 10 seniors to graduation, will look to field a strong team next year thanks to this year’s great recruitment class. QB’s Evan Martin and Luke Balsh and RB Justin Andrushko are expected to be stars of the future along with the young and talented wide-receiving core. “We’ve got a lot of good recruits, who are first year,” said Jason Cook who is also one of the promising stars of the future of this Warriors team. “But we’re losing a lot of players this year, a lot of leadership. We’re a young team again, and we’ve got to train in the offseason with the thought that we want, not just to make the playoffs, but to be contenders for the Yates Cup.”

“We should have a drink.” “What would you like?” Metric asked. “Caesar.” “No.” “Screwdriver.” “No.” “What do you have?” “Gin, Olde English and ginger ale.” “Whatever.” Metric came back in a few moments with two large plastic martini glasses full of malt liquor, ginger ale and ice. He handed one to me and sat down beside me on the couch. “Did you look in the box?” he asked. I looked down. On the green shag rug, half concealed under the table, was a cardboard box held shut with used packing tape. I pulled back the tape and the box popped open. A Sega Genesis was inside, packed in a mass of controllers and cords. I lifted the sleek black system. In the bottom of the box were three cartridges, each proudly displaying a familiar picture: Kirk McLean in his white and yellow Canucks jersey from the back of the net with his left leg out and a puck flipping high above his outstretched glove hand. NHL’95. Three copies. Metric was grinnning. “An old friend sent this box by post,” he said, “with a note that read ‘This game has taken over my life. I can not get away so I’m sending it your way.’” “Shall we play?” I asked hungrily. “We shall,” he said, “and it shall be a duel of epic proportions.” He proceeded to assemble the system into the TV while I sipped my Olde English and ginger ale and tried to psych myself for the game at hand. The music hit us first, the NHL’95 theme song. Then the classic blue screen with Kirk McLean’s miss forever immortalized. “Do you remember game seven?” Metric asked. “Rangers – Canucks?” “Yeah.” “Sure. The first of the western Canadian game seven failures.” “That was a swell Ranger’s team.” “The old men?” “Messier and Lowe and Anderson and Tikkanen.” “And Mike Richter in net.” “Sure a swell team.” Then the EA Sports line came up in the credits and the lock on the controller fell away so we could press start to enter. With practised quickness Metric scrolled through the options: two players head-to-head, 5:00 periods, manual goalies. He took player one and flipped right to Chicago. A picture of

Jeremy Roenick came on the screen. I took Calgary. Up came Joe Nieuwendyk. A classic battle indeed. The game began with both of us hammering C, speed burst and body check in one easy control, and our centres flew off the spot and Roenick hammered Nieuwendyk to the ice. It was a back and forth first period. Roenick had two early breakaways but could not beat Mike Vernon. Fluery was flying all over the ice and throwing huge cross checks on oblivious Blackhawks who drifted too close to the boards after the whistle. But it was Tony Amonte for the Blackhawks who scored first, cutting out from the corner straight across the net for a backhand and a 1-0 lead at the end of the first. In the second period the teams were even. Gary Roberts fed Nieuwendyk for a one-timer to even the score at one, then Roenick came right off the ensuing faceoff and scored on a deke. Fluery responded with a breakaway goal of his own for the Flames, and with ten seconds left in the period it was Gary Suter to Roenick for a one-time slapshot from the slot and a 3-2 Blackhawk lead. Between periods I went to the kitchen to fill our drinks. When I returned the game was one minute into the third period and the Blackhawks were up 6-2. “You cheap bastard,” I said. Metric did not answer. He was very focused. Then began a most furious Flames comeback. At 3:45 a MacInnis slapshot from outside the blueline went fivehole. At 2:55 a Nieuwendyk one-timer from the slot beat Belfour. At 1:37 a Fluery forward and B from the redline snuck under Belfour and the lead was one. Vernon got pulled at the one minute beep and with thirty seconds left it was Nieuwendyk again on the one-time from Roberts for a hat-trick and overtime. In overtime Metric’s girl Modie entered the room with a blond girl I didn’t know. “Are you boys playing videogames?” Modie asked. On the screen Belfour made a big save on Roberts. “Aren’t you too old for these games?” Modie asked. On screen Zalapski dropped Amonte in open ice. “Hello? Hello? Boys?” Modie was shouting now, waving her arms. Finally Metric looked up. “This is overtime,” he said, “can you shut up?” Right at that instant, as her face filled with rage and his eyes were on hers, Fluery came across the red line. Metric never even saw it. Forward and B sent the puck along the ice. Belfour had no chance. The puck went between his pads to the back of the net. Flames win! cpeters@imprint.uwaterloo.ca


sports

FRIDAY, october 27, 2006

27

Balls to you: a survey of billiards in Waterloo

Shawn Bell

Pool Paradise

Dooly’s

Huether Hotel

Sharp Shooters

McMullan’s

Ian Lawrence

Overall: this place is excellent if you are a serious player and for $11 an hour it is reasonably priced. However, due to the lack of atmosphere, no beer on tap and KoolFM on the radio, I wouldn’t regularly play there. Second stop: Dooly’s on University Ave Dooly’s is where you go to party. Pool is there, but with so many distractions this isn’t billiards at its finest. We were surrounded by a bombardment of high-end TVs showing the NLCS, a sexy Lebanese girl at the next table dancing to the steady mix of rock, RnB and classics, and cold, $14 pitchers were continually offered by a sexy waitress all in black. Overall: Dooly’s is a solid place to play pool. At $12.85 an hour it is a little expensive but when you leave you’ll be at least moderately drunk and satisfied from a good game. Third stop: The Huether Hotel on King St The Huether should stick to what it knows: coffee, strippers and Saturday afternoon jams. The pool tables are worn, and so is the atmosphere. The tables are frustrating

because they slope and are stained and scuffed. The service is fine, but lacking because the main focus seems upstairs at the bar. The tables are pay as you go, so bring loonies. Overall: One customer was overheard boldly stating: “This place depresses me. We have to go somewhere else.” Touché. Fourth stop: Sharp Shooters at University Ave and Weber St This place is a hidden gem. I strongly encourage everyone to take the extra thirty second walk past Dooly’s and check it out. The tables are top-notch and regularly maintained, they have the best foosball table in town, classic rock is always pumping on the stereo, and not to mention, Sharp Shooters has the most personable staff in Waterloo, more than willing to take the time to field any customer questions. Overall: I would definitely play here again. It has everything that is needed for a good pool hall. They have an “all you can play” deal for $13/person which is perfect if you want make a day out of playing pool. Last, if you and some friends are considering joining

a league, this is the place to do it. The prize is a trip to Las Vegas. Fifth stop: McMullan’s at King St and Princess St Ah McMullan’s, how I love you. This place is always a good time. With a solid mix of music and a crowd that consists of members of city hall to lowly students; everyone is guaranteed to have a good time. I also appreciate McMullan’s waitresses. They are chill, sexy and straight up awesome.

Overall: McMullans is a place to drink…pool will always be secondary, but at $9 an hour it’s cheap. I’ll always be up for McMullan’s, but pool will not be the first thing on my mind. In the end, we did score some free pool and definitely had an excellent night. Was pool for us? I think the consensus was yes. I’m no pool shark, but with many good options for billiards in Waterloo, I’m clearly down for a game or two.

reporter

Winter’s almost here. Dates in the park, soccer in the field, and baseball with your buddies are definitely out. So, what are your plans during these cold, dark months? Pool? Maybe. My friends and I considered this. Pool was fun, we knew that, but serious billiards is a different matter; and was billiards for us? With mutual boredom we decided to address the problem. This was our plan: drink, first and foremost. Next, walk around and check out the billiards scene in Waterloo. Last, if lucky, we’d score a few free games of pool. First stop: Pool Paradise on Phillip St After a lengthy walk we arrived at Pool Paradise. As I walked in, I saw a bar, an empty arcade area and a sparse crowd shooting stick. After hanging around for a bit, it was obvious that this was a very professional bar: high quality tables, excellent equipment, and, upon conversation, a fully stocked pro-shop.

In the big leagues:The Maple Leafs Nate Bell reporter

The Leafs’ season is underway and the first couple of weeks showed that the Leafs are going to need some more goal scoring to make a push for the playoffs. They sit in second place in the Northeast division heading into October 24’s meeting with Ottawa after nine games. The Leafs so far have won against Ottawa, Florida, Calgary

and Columbus and they have picked up points in three other overtime losses. Thehighlightof theseasonsofarwas Matt Sundin’s 500th career goal, which was the game winner in the Leafs 5-4 overtime win over Calgary. Somepositivesearlyonare:theplayof Raycroft, Kyle Wellwood and Darcy Tucker, and the stellar defence unit. The negatives include the lack of scoring (especially in the shootout) and an injury to the newly acquired Pavel Kubina.


sports

28

FRIDAY, october 27, 2006

Third-period burst gives Warriors third straight win James Rowe reporter

James Rowe reporter

Women’s volleyball

Waterloo lost their season opening match against the Guelph Gryphons on October 20, losing the deciding fifth set 15-13. The Warriors also dropped a close third set by a score of 26-24, as this match could have gone either way. UW travels to Lakehead for a match on October 28. Men’s volleyball

This past weekend the men’s volleyball team split their two games. On October 20 they swept Guelph 3-0. The next day they fell to McMaster 3-1, leaving them in fourth place in their division. The Warriors have their home opener vs. Ryerson on October 27 at 7:00 at the PAC. Men’s soccer

The Warriors split their final two games, losing 2-0 to Brock on Saturday and defeating McMaster 2-1 in Hamilton on October 22. Goal scorers for UW were Alonso Tello and Jeevan Jayentheran. Waterloo fell short of the playoffs, finishing in last place in the OUA West Division with a record of 3-9-2. Badminton

Waterloo defeated U of T 7-6 in a tight match on Sunday, putting them in second place with a game in hand on the first place Varsity Blues. This week the Warriors travel to McMaster to take on the Marauders on October 28.

Trailing 2-0 and facing a 5-on-3 power play for 1:24 for the visiting University of Western Ontario Mustangs, the Waterloo Warriors appeared to be in danger of losing to the Mustangs October 21 at the CIF arena. Western had already scored two power play goals in the first period off the sticks of Salvador Peralta and Kyle Piwowarczyk and a third would put the game out of reach. But thanks to a couple big saves by all-star goaltender Curtis Darling and the penalty killing of Jordan Brenner, Joel Olszowka and Kevin Hurley, the Warriors beat off both penalties. The kill seemed to shift the momentum of the game, and a couple minutes later, while on a power play of their own, the Warriors were finally able to solve Mustangs goaltender Ryan Riddle. With 10:40 remaining in the third period, David Edgeworth put home the rebound of an Alex MacDonnell point shot to get the Warriors on the board and cut the previous deficit in half. Just under four minutes later, a couple of rookies combined to tie the score for UW. Cory Fraser fed Chris Golem a pass on the rightwing side and Golem, playing in his

Coach Bingeman talks of season past and future of Warrior football

Field hockey

The Warriors went 1-1 on the weekend. After losing 4-0 to Queen’s on Friday, they bounced back to top McGill 2-0 on Saturday in the regular season finale. Jenna Adleman and Allison Pay scored the goals, both in the second half. Cross-country

On Saturday, the Warriors travelled to St. Catharines to compete in the Brock Open. For the women’s 4km run, Julia Malleck and Lee Anne Belcourt finished in 11th and 14th places respectively. On the men’s side, Francis Corral-Mellon finished the 6 km run in 21:15, with teammate Jon Morton finishing 35 seconds behind him.

first game as a Warrior, snapped a shot past goaltender Riddle low on the stick-side. Then, on his first shift back after serving 12 penalty minutes, Ryan Macgregor fought off a UWO defenseman and worked the puck to the slot, sliding a low shot past Riddle as he was being taken down to the ice. The goal, assisted by Fraser and Golem, gave the Warriors a 3-2 lead with just 2:24 remaining. Western pulled Riddle for an extra attacker with 1:36 to play but Simona Cherler could not muster any Warriors’ Joel Olszowka (44) and Ben Pasha (32) lay the wood on a Mustang. shots on net. With just seven seconds remaining, Macgregor hit the stick from Piwowarczyk just five result of the two teams playing each empty net from centre ice for his minutes into the game and did not other twice in three nights. Waterloo had won 2-1 in oversecond goal of the game and fourth return. His current condition is time in London two nights earlier of the young season, sealing a 4-2 uncertain. “We don’t have a final answer on on the strength of a shorthanded Warriors victory. UW, led by the always reliable his status. He has a cut close to his eye goal by Brenner. On October 27 the 3-1 Warriors Darling and strong play by their and a scrape on his eye causing some young defence, has now given up blurred vision but we expect him to play host to Laurier, the team that just four goals against in their past be fine,” head coach Brian Bourque eliminated them from last year’s said when reached for comment on playoffs, and the next night the three games. Guelph Gryphons are in town. The win did not come without Monday. The hard-hitting game had many Both games start at 7:30 p.m. at its costs, however, as Shane Hart left the game after taking a high skirmishes break out, possibly as the the CIF arena.

Simona Cherler

Shawn Bell sports editor

Imprint sat down with Warrior football interim head coach Marshall Bingeman to discuss the season and look ahead to next year. We will let his words speak for themselves.

Bingeman: I think this year was a positive step forward for the Warrior football program. It was quite a shock with Coach Chris Triantafilou stepping down when he did [In week three with the Warriors 0-2]. A lot of credit must be given to all the players, as well as the coaching staff, who did a great job this year preparing the guys, ensuring we had a successful year. Realistically, had we stayed healthy, and had one or two breaks go our way, we were a 4-4 or a 5-3 football team, so I’m a little bit disappointed where we ended up to finish the season I think the game against Laurier was a big turning point for us. If we had gone on to win that game I think we’d be 5-3. It took the wind out of our sails the following week; it was a tough rebound to get ready for Guelph after that loss. Every position on the team is going to have a battle next year. We are very fortunate, we have outstanding freshman who have come in, at all

positions, so the pressure on everybody to get a starting spot is going to be greatly magnified. We did lose a number of great Warrior football players, but having said that, we do have depth, we have guys who’ve been chomping at the bit to get more playing time, who deserve more playing time. We have guys on defense, leaders of the football team, like Darren Kissinger, Steve Campbell and Shane Everest returning. On the offensive side of the ball, the offensive line is always the key to your team. Although we lose Matt Fraser and Chris Best, we were eight deep all year long. There are a number of guys returning, Tom Bruce, Peter Googliani, Kyle Faulkner, guys who are outstanding linemen and who will provide a lot of leadership on the offensive side of the ball. As well, we have an outstanding reciever in Sean Cowie coming back. Next year will see the greatest quarterback competition in Warrior

history. We have two of the top freshman QBs in the country, in Luke Balsh and Evan Martin. These guys are coming into next year as equals, and its probably going to come down to the last week of training camp to find out who our starting quarterback is going to be. There is now a national search on for a new Warrior football head coach. I have decided to apply. Like I asked for, there will be only one external search, so that we make sure we get the best person for this program, be it me or somebody else. We’ll be a considerably better football team going into next year. We have more depth, at certain positions than we’ve had in a long time. We still have holes to fill, through recruiting, but overall our talent level is the highest its been in the last five years. I certainly expect us to be in the playoffs next year. sbell@imprint.uwaterloo.ca

Presents

THIS WEEK IN ATHLETICS

WARRIOR [M] VOLLEYBALL

Friday, October 27, 2006 vs vs WLU WLU Golden Golden Hawks Hawks 7:30 7:30 PM, PM, CIF CIF Arena Arena

Saturday, October 28, 2006 vs vs Guelph Guelph Gryphons Gryphons 7:30 7:30 PM, PM, CIF CIF Arena Arena

HOCKEY

Friday, October 27, 2006 vs Ryerson Rams 7:00 PM, UW PAC Gym

Saturday, October 28, 2006 vs York Lions 7:00 PM, UW PAC Gym

ATHLETES OF THE WEEK

IMPRINT | OCTOBER 27

Jimmy Latta | [M] Golf

Melanie Belore | [W] Basketball

Jimmy, a second year Arts student from St Clements, Ontario lead the Warriors golf team to their second straight OUA title this past week at the St. Catharine's Golf Club. Jimmy shot an opening round of 71 and was awarded the Len Shore Memorial Trophy as the OUA Men’s Individual Champion. Jimmy was the only player to break par in the field of 60 student athletes. Latta is the 1st Warrior to win the Len Shore Memorial Trophy since Steve Woods in 1995-96. Jimmy was also named one of the five OUA Men's First-Team All-Stars.

Melanie, a third year Kinesiology student from Ottawa, Ontario helped the Warriors defeat Carleton and Ottawa this past weekend at the Carleton exhibition tournament. With Melanie's skill and leadership Waterloo was able to fight back in both matches to earn last-second victories. In the return to her hometown, she was named to the tournament all-star team after accumulating 37 points in 3 games. Melanie looks to continue this strong play as the Warriors travel to New York next Saturday for more exhibition play.

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