Imprint The university of Waterloo’s official student newspaper
vol 29, no 11
Friday, September 29, 2006
imprint . uwaterloo . ca
Golden Gaels fall to Warriors Page 30
Pow Wow brings Aboriginal tradition to campus
courtesy kaveen Gabet
Participants of the SUNDANCe Festival stand on the riverbank outside St. Paul’s college. Traditional attire was worn by many for the festival last weekend.
Johnston aims high for an intellectual Waterloo Brendan Pinto staff reporter
University of Waterloo President David Johnston recently delivered a speech to the Greater Kitchener Waterloo Chamber of Commerce with an ambitious vision for the future of the region. This goal is nothing short of making Waterloo the “knowledge capital of canada,”
with a timeline landing the city there by 2010. Imprint talked with the president, whose determination comes from a genuine desire to achieve the high aspirations he has for the community. Referring to the students of the universities as “the most important audience” in this transformation, Johnston notes that it is the student body that will
be living these changes and making them work. The original proposal includes 10 strategies to attain this lofty target, but 20 are sought in total through an open dialogue with the general public. Johnston hopes that by communicating with residents, the scope of this plan can be broadened to accommodate policy that can be pursued after fulfilling the goals of the next four
years. Despite the City of Waterloo’s success in being listed as one of the top seven most intelligent communities in the world, he is not content with this success and believes further strides should be taken to build an intellectual community recognized as the global leader. Students were asked for their input. Ideas included engaging parents with young children to get involved
with the community early on; expanding the number of available medical school applications to accommodate a larger class; fostering greater co-operation between universities to create a more fluid infrastructure that allows a free flow of talent; and building a better rapport between students and the residents of the community. See HOPES, page 3
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N ews Concert honours lost green Imprint
Friday, september 29, 2006
news@imprint.uwaterloo.ca News Editor: Ashley Csanady News Assistant: Rachel McNeil
Richard Shih
Jen Chow mixes it up at the B2 green farewell party, Dig It, Saturday, September 23. The green will soon be replaced with a new nanotech building. Brian Fong staff reporter
A fond farewell party engulfed the B2 green last Saturday, as UW students gave the famed piece of land its last event to host before construction begins for the new nanotechnology building. People attending the B2 green party were treated to a wide array of fun activities and performances from 2 p.m .all the way into the late evening. Volleyball, gaming consoles, Frisbee and jugglers were out in full force to
entertain while performers like DJ Snare and Supermarine entertained the crowds. Fundraising initiatives were also at the party to garner support for campus green space. Above all, people were encouraged to enjoy themselves and remember that this would be the last official outdoor party on the green. The event was co-ordinated by Dig It and sponsored by many UW groups, including the Federation of Students and the Engineering Society. Dig It has been the organization dedicated to producing the B2 green
party and promoting conservational space around the university. Despite the morning precipitation, the party was considered a successful achievement by Albert O’Connor, head organizer of Dig It. “It was a great party. It rained a few hours earlier than we thought it would in the morning, which did put a damper on things. Still, it was a beautiful day on the green, and everyone who came enjoyed the field one last time,” he said. With the last B2 gathering finished, attention has turned to what
Hopes: Johnston’s plan for the region Continued from cover
This plan is not limited to expanding the scientific and technological achievements K-W has become famous for, but includes plans to develop the region as a cultural centre. Efforts to develop an artisan community and potentially include a music festival to support local artists are also in the works. The vision, as he sees it, is based on the “three T’s” — talent, technology and tolerance, a concept developed by social theorist Richard Florida. Johnston acknowledged
that “Waterloo is already living, and in some cases exceeding” this concept. An influx of the intellectual and artistic talent will result in an even more diverse populace, therefore it’s included in the plans to facilitate cultural integration. Eighteen per cent of newcomers live in poverty, but it is hoped that foreign skilled workers can be integrated into the country within two years. Reducing poverty in the region overall is another important point. Currently 50, 000 people in Waterloo region are living below the poverty line despite having one of
the lowest unemployment rates in the country. Undertakings in the spirit of this vision are already occurring. With the construction of the Kitchener school of pharmacy and the City of Waterloo proposing major assistance for the north campus, this plan is a work already in progress. Seeing it come to fruition in its entirety, however, will require many more strides and the dedication to knowledge that has characterized the community for so long. bpinto@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
is going to happen to the green land. Construction of the new nanotechnology building will begin in 2007 and is planned to finish in the spring or summer of 2009. The five-storey structure will be 225,000 square feet with many features including atria and a green roof. Dennis Huber, vice president of administration and finance for UW described it as “the most sophisticated building ever built on campus.” However, controversy has erupted over the placement of the massive complex. The B2 green has always
been a popular gathering place for numerous groups, while many UW students have also expressed general concern over the dwindling green spaces across campus. O’Connor has mixed views about the building saying, “I think research into nanotech and quantum mechanics is important for UW and society, and I am happy to see a building dedicated to it. It being built on the B2 Green is a shame … green space is one of the things that is great about our campus.” bfong@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
10 goals from David Johnston 1) Improve overall education achievement. 2) Ensure that local universities are top in the country. 3) Better access to quality health care. 4) Increased investment in science and technology. 5) Increased incentives for think-tanks and NGOs. 6) Investment in infrastructure. 7) Encourage immigration. 8) Reduce poverty through empowerment. 9) Make the area a cultural centre. 10) Celebrate the region’s accomplishments while always striving to do better.
news
FRIDAY, september 29, 2006
St. Paul Pow Wow pleases all
michael l. davenport
Sandy Benson, head dancer at St. Paul’s third annual Aboriginal Pow Wow, takes a break between dances. Rachel McNeil assistant news editor
The weather proved faulty for the third annual Aboriginal Pow Wow held at St. Paul’s campus on Saturday September 23, as grey clouds and showers erupted over the SUNDANCe festival. Yet aboriginal guests from across North America — also known as Turtle Island — still drummed, danced and told stories in order to raise awareness and money for the SUNDANCe Aboriginal Bursary. About 700 people attended the event last year. Unfortunately, the turnout this year was significantly
less, with fewer than 100 observers coming to share in the music, eating, shopping and general educational experience, which is actually the basis for the festival. The theme for this year’s Pow Wow was “honouring our future leaders,” referring to the aboriginal students who have left their families in order to pursue a university education. Admission to the Pow Wow was $5 and donations were welcomed for the SUNDANCe Aboriginal Bursary, which aids in sending future leaders to the University of Waterloo, Wilfrid Laurier University, the University of Guelph or any of their affiliated colleges. The
student must also “be attending full-time studies, identify as being an aboriginal person, demonstrate financial need and involvement with the aboriginal community.” Various biases and misconceptions have faced the Aboriginal Peoples over the years and created numerous barriers, particularly surrounding education. As the 2004 Attorney General’s report states, “It will take 28 years for aboriginal Canadians to meet the same level of education as the rest of Canada. SUNDANCe is one way to lessen that gap.” Throughout the day’s celebrations — including the Pow Wow,
which is “a time to rejoice in each other and to celebrate,” and the Sacred Fire, which represents the fire within all of us — much of the day was also concerned with educating and raising awareness about aboriginal Peoples amongst students, staff and faculty. Pamphlets handed out at the event specified Pow Wow etiquette for all those unfamiliar with such festivities, underlining certain times to dance and stand, reminding people to be especially respectful of their elders and informing them that people should not touch the regalia — the performers wear regalia, not “costumes.” As well,
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there were times during the festival where pictures and recordings were forbidden; many of these are times for sacred oral traditions that have been passed down for thousands of years and should never be ruined by modern technology. Respect was shared by everyone on Saturday, non-native and native alike. Though attendance was low, everyone who participated helped to foster “a welcoming and supportive university experience for Aboriginal People” and no doubt received a valued university experience in return. ramcneil@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
news
FRIDAY, september 29, 2006
Gerard Kennedy gives “kisses” to UW Liberal party leadership candidate visits UW campus to show students what it means to be a Liberal Suzanne Gardner assistant editor-in-chief
Liberal party leadership candidate Gerard Kennedy visited the University of Waterloo Friday, September 22 armed with kisses for all. In a meet-and-greet session titled “Kisses from Kennedy” (Hershey Chocolate Kisses, that is), the politican showed UW students what he thinks it means to be a Liberal in Canada. Kennedy, a 46-year-old Canadian politician, has been a prominent member of the Liberal party circuit since 1996, when he was elected as the Member of Provincial Parliament (MPP) for the Ontario Liberal Party in the York-South district. He also served Ontario as the Minister of Education from 2003 to 2006. In addition to his political exploits, Kennedy also founded the Edmonton Food Bank at the age of 23, and later went on to become the executive director of the Toronto Daily Bread Food Bank from 1986 to 1996. For the most part, however, Kennedy left his previous endeavours in the past and focused his discussion on why Canadians should give their trust back to the Liberals. “I don’t want to see Stephen Harper do to Canada what Mike Harris did to Ontario,” Kennedy explained to a round of cheers. “We [the Liberals] have some catching up to do and not just with a fresh coat of paint. We need to show through our actions that we deserve Canadians’ trust back.” Aside from the abundance of chocolate in attendance, Kennedy also attempted to appeal to his student audience with thoughts on educational reform. “Education is more important now and less accessible,” Kennedy insisted, elaborating upon his plan for quality and access assurance for education in Canada, along with a national post-secondary education act. Kennedy also emphasized the importance of improving the country’s low voter turnout rates, particularly among Canadian youth. According to Kennedy, the Liberals “need to make a bridge between the party and the youth,” and that, “a change in the Liberal party is the first step and a change in politics is the second step.”
Amy brooks
Mark Chemij shows support for Liberal leader candidate Gerard Kennedy as Kennedy himself displays Waterloo Warrior pride. The Liberal leader candidate also took the time to express his opinions on several other hot topics in the Canadian political realm, ranging from his view that Canada’s current role in Afghanistan “does not do honour to our Canadian troops,” to his statement that Canada’s Green Plan needs to be made mandatory so the country can be a “clean energy superpower by 2020.”
“I don’t want to see Stephen Harper do to Canada what Mike Harris did to Ontario.” — Gerard Kennedy
Most notably, Kennedy stressed his opposition to fellow leadership candidate Michael Ignatieff ’s recent statements regarding his desire to recognize Quebec as a nation within Canada. Kennedy admitted that while “right now saying ‘Je suis Liberal’ is a bit of a swear word in Quebec,” the Liberal party and the youth of Quebec should work together with a “good chance of moving forward.”
Above all, Kennedy made his stance on the current state of the Liberal party very clear, stating: “We have to get focused.” He explained that in order to regain their position of power, “The Liberal government needs to update itself and become a 21st century party. Liberals have to take responsibility.” sgardner@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
CITY OF WATERLOO VOTERS, ARE YOU ON THE VOTERS’ LIST? The Preliminary Voters’ List, for use in the Municipal Election to be held on Monday, November 13, 2006, is available for inspection at the City Clerk’s Office at Waterloo City Hall. If you want to know if your name is on the Voters’ List, please call the City Clerk’s Office at 519-7478703 or 519-747-8704. If you are not on the Voters’ list, you may apply to be added to the List by completing the appropriate form available at the City Clerk’s Office, Main Floor, Waterloo City Centre, 100 Regina Street South, Waterloo, Ontario, Monday to Friday, 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., through to Monday, November 13, 2006. SUSAN GREATRIX, CITY CLERK City of Waterloo 100 Regina Street South, Waterloo, ON, N2J 4A8 519-747-8704
news
FRIDAY, september 29, 2006
Going car-less for a week Rachel McNeil assistant news editor
Welcome to
Environmental awareness was the focus this past week in Waterloo region with WPIRG’s Car-Free Campaign. The on-campus volunteer organization runs various events throughout the year, often associated with building community and breaking the barriers of misconception. The purpose of the week was to show alternative methods of transportation to students and residents alike. On September 17, in Kitchener’s Victoria Park, Car-Free festivities kicked off the day with guest speakers including Christina Mills, who spoke about personal and societal transportation choices, and Judy Maan Miedema, who spoke of the connections between air quality and our food. Also featured was a Bike Forest that promoted unconventional cycles. A similar day of activities and understanding was held on the University of Waterloo campus on the following Wednesday. “The activities were intended to raise awareness about sustainable transportation: getting from one place to another by use of
bikes, cars and public transportation,” said Sharmila Setaram, WPIRG’s programming volunteer co-ordinator. Vendors also sold corn from local farmers to support the surrounding community and offer a healthier, more sustainable way to transport food. Setaram added, “The food will also taste better and be fresher and better for you if it has just traveled 20 minutes down the road instead of halfway across the world.” She sees WPIRG’s events as not only an educational experience, but a safe space to build community and ask questions without being judged. UW political science student Jeff Anstett was answering enough questions of his own at Victoria Park. After deciding to volunteer for the event with a group of friends, Anstett soon found himself in the middle of the Bike Forest, demonstrating how to use the various cycles to small children. Anstett believes that UW’s students would find the contraptions impressive, “especially at a school with such a large number of engineers. Most students would be impressed just to see how they were put together and how they worked.” His favourite bike was run by treadmill, involving the rider running before beginning to bike. UW students might have found the Car-Free Week interesting
for another reason, as it offers alternatives to riding the Grand River Transit (GRT) buses. Wilfrid Laurier University has implemented a bus-pass program that allows each student card to be used as a bus pass, yet UW students, who have not received the offer, have little incentive to ride with GRT. The most common complaints are that buses don’t run frequently enough or late enough into the night, particularly in residential areas. Yet, as Setaram points out, if more people refuse to take the bus, GRT won’t see the demand to switch scheduling. Nicola MacNeil, a first year arts student, has her own complaints about the buses. She finds the buses “slow and loud and frustrating when you have to sit and wait to get home.” She has recently discovered it is quicker and far more relaxing to bike home after a busy day as a way of cooling down, and MacNeil intends to keep cycling well into the winter, so long as the bike lanes remain plowed. Though Setaram warns students to be more cautious when cycling during winter months by wearing helmets and using reflectors, she supports the idea entirely: as long as people are thinking creatively about their transportation, then Car-Free Week was a success. ramcneil@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
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news
FRIDAY, september 29, 2006
A piece of Europe in Waterloo core redevelopment has been more piecemeal rather than mega-project. This has allowed the streetscape to evolve slowly and to let the citizens become comfortable with the new buildings. The slow growth also meant that as development trends changed, so too could plans for the vacant lands. The Waterloo City Council voted The public square will be the unanimously last week to replace perfect modern face of Waterloo. parking spaces in front of Waterloo Unable to evoke the “old world” Town Square with a public square. feel of a square flanked by churches Part of the larger puzzle that is or government buildings, Waterloo’s sprucing up Waterloo’s downtown square will be dominated by a bank, core, the public square has been a hot a pharmacy and the parking garage issue, particularly among local busi- across the street: fitting symbols of ness owners. The old argument goes our values today. that customers want to walk the least It is unlikely that the downtown amount possible. If not, they’ll go the will be short of clientele. The string mall and walk the equivalent of three of new buildings in front of King city blocks to get to the door. Con- Street will soon house professionals venience trumps aesthetics. Luckily, who always need something to do the city council during the lunch voted for slight hour. The vainconvenience cant triangle The public square in the name of next to Waterimproved aesloo Park will will be the perfect thetics. soon be home In the past to a dense resimodern face of 50 years, public dential develWaterloo. spaces were genopment. erally underapAnd what preciated locally. does this have The urban renewal trend was to to do with UW? As UW has grown, redevelop public squares and attract the amount of open, public space has people to buildings, where before a shrunk within the south campus. Part bench and a tree would do. Kitchener of the Toga Green has been taken, City Hall and its surrounding public and the B2 Green will be concrete space were bulldozed to make way soon enough. The green space next for a downtown mall that ultimately to Modern Languages could soon be failed. victim as could the Arts quadrangle. Waterloo was bitten by the de- Why? velopment bug as well. Defunct The simple answer is that convefactories gave way to the Waterloo nience trumps aesthetics. Why would Town Square mall. The original a quantum physicist want to walk 500 public square lay somewhere along meters to talk to a colleague, when Erb Street between Caroline and they can have the new building right Albert Streets, near the fire and next door? Similarly, no one wants the town hall. All three fell to the to feel like they’ve been exiled. Just church, office tower and library. A ask the architecture students. With vestige of the old square is wedged apologies to the church colleges, the between the Marsland Tower and prevailing UW mentality appears to be the church. that to be outside the Ring Road is to As cities grow, relative public not exist at all. Given that sooner or space shrinks. The current move to later there will be no space left within fix up Waterloo’s core has been a the Ring Road, it’s time that UW gave slow process, but it has so far proven our public spaces a break and put new successful. buildings elsewhere. To start, through a mixture of nmoogksoulis@imprint.uwaterloo.ca careful planning and luck, Waterloo’s
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Town hall in the SLC
Ashley Csanady
The Feds exec lure students with free food to get feedback on the new health and dental plans at an informal town hall meeting. “I think the more of these we have, the better attended they will be,” said Renjie Butalid, vice president of administration and finance for Feds.
news
FRIDAY, september 29, 2006
Everyone writes the ELPE precedence to upper-year students as she thinks that plan would be “not fair to those dedicated first-years.” Barrett explains that not all students who participate in the Writing Clinic program will be successful, but that the approximately 25 per cent who fail are guaranteed a spot in the next session of the program. Additionally, the ELPP also offers ELPE review appointments for students who cannot secure an opening in the Writing Clinic program. 30 minute appointments can be scheduled starting three weeks after the examination date. The ELPE and the remedial programs run through the ELPP office are free to students. Barrett explains that while adding a price to these programs could allow for additional spots for students, she sees “a lot of trouble with charging for the programs, although the school does charge tuition for other courses.” Ultimately, she explains, it is up to the university to decide if a fee should be instated. Despite many student complaints regarding the importance or validity of the exam, Barrett stands by her belief that this exam is an “unbiased way to test students’ ability to write. It is diagnostic and shows if you are up to UW standards or not. This is UW’s exam that is unique to UW and there is no greater proof of this than as of this September every student must write it.”
faculty has different pass requirements for their students, all faculties also offer equivalent alternative options to completing the ELPE, such as passing various English courses with a certain grade or successfully completing the ELPP’s Writing Clinic program.
Suzanne Gardner assistant editor-in-chief
Beginning with the incoming students of this 2006-2007 school year, every student must now pass the English Language Proficiency Exam (ELPE) in order to graduate from the University of Waterloo. This year marks the first year that all math students must write the ELPE. In previous years, faculties such as science and arts allowed students with a grade of over 80 per cent in Grade 12 English to be exempted from the exam. Only the Faculty of Engineering has always required their students to write the ELPE. Seventy-five per cent of students who write the ELPE complete the test successfully on their first attempt, according to Ann Barrett, director of the English Language Proficiency Program (ELPP). Of the remaining 25 per cent of students, only approximately 3 to 5 per cent will be able to pass a rewriting of the exam without participating in one of the ELPP’s tutorial programs. Despite this year’s increase in the number of students required to write the ELPE, the program has received no additional funding from the university to provide support programs for the additional failing students. Regardless, Barrett insists that the program is still “trying within [its] limitations to help as many students as possible. With demand going up and funding remaining static, we have developed other options.” While each
The ELPE is an “unbiased way to test students’ ability to write. It is diagnostic and shows if you are up to UW standards or not.” — Ann Barrett director of the ELPP The Writing Clinic program is available to all students who have failed the ELPE. Spaces are available for approximately 150 students in the fall term, 150 students in the winter term and 125 students in the spring term. Registration occurs on a first-come, firstserve basis, although many students have questioned why the program doesn’t give priority to upper-year students who are closer to completing their degree. Barrett, however, is strongly against giving
sgardner@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
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Sarah Allmendinger staff reporter
Greece
According to a country official, the Greek economy will be getting a boost from prostitutes and smugglers. These illicit activities will now be counted in the country’s official economic output. Since Greece has been under pressure from the EU to cut its deficits, they have decided to include the profits of the black market. This change will raise their apparent by at least 10 per cent for 2006. Reuters reports that Greece’s economic output was 180 billion Euros ($228 billion) in 2005 and is estimated to increase by 14 billion Euros this year. He also mentions that it is just a small chunk of the underground market in Greece, as its output is at about 40 to 60 billion Euros a year. United States
A 14-year-old boy was arrested this past Tuesday after his three year-old sister was found passed out drunk the night before. Apparently the little girl had had enough hard liquor to get her
blood alcohol level to 0.12 per cent. The Minnesota state law considers drivers to be drunk if their blood alcohol level reaches 0.08 per cent. Kirk Huges of the Minnesota Poison Control System said that about one ounce of 40 proof liquor would have caused the three year-old to have that per cent of alcohol in her system. The young girl’s teenage brother was arrested on suspicion of child endangerment. She was recovering and had been released to a children’s home by Wednesday morning. England
Among other more dubious talents, the oft-demonized (albeit justifiably so) leader of the Third Reich also possessed some artistic skill. Watercolours and sketches attributed to Adolf Hitler sold very quickly at an auction held this past Tuesday. The auction was even interrupted by a pair of “comedy terrorists.” One of the men was Aaron Barschak, who gained notoriety by dressing up as Osama bin Laden and crashing Prince William’s 21st birthday party back in 2003. The two men jumped up and started shouting after the first 13 items had been sold at the auction. One of the men was dressed as Hitler and kept shouting “Third Reich” and “Mussolini” before being escorted out by security. Terrorist attack notwithstanding, prices for the first 13 items were high, ranging from £3,200 ($6,100) to £9,500 ($18,000). Who knew Hitler was such a good artist? sallmendinger@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Friday, september 29, 2006
opinion@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Opinion Editor: Paul Marchwica Opinion Assistant: Ryan Webb
Friday, September 29, 2006 — Vol. 29, No. 10
Imprint’s future needs voices
Student Life Centre, Room 1116 University of Waterloo Waterloo, Ontario N2L 3G1 P: 519.888.4048 F: 519.884.7800 imprint.uwaterloo.ca Editor-in-chief, Tim Alamenciak editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Advertising & Production Manager, Laurie Tigert-Dumas ads@imprint.uwaterloo.ca General Manager, Catherine Bolger cbolger@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Editorial Staff Assistant Editor, Suzanne Gardner Cover Editor, Anna Lomako Photo Editor, vacant Assistant Photo Editor, Tiffany Li Graphics Editor, vacant Assistant Graphics Editor, Christine Ogley Web Editor, Mohammad Jangda Assistant Web Editor, Steven R. McEvoy Systems Administrator, Gautam Khanna Sys. Admin. Assistant, Victor Ng Lead Proofreader, Emma Tarswell Proofreaders
Production Staff Brian Fong, Adrienne Row, Micheal L. Davenport, Linda Kong Ting, Monica Harvey, Jeremy Choo, Tiffany Budhyanto, Andre Ulloa, Ali Alawi, Shivan Hoad, Jacqueline McKoy, Ryan Nahlé, Tim Foster, Jeff Anstett, Kelvin Lam, Paul Collier, Tom Levesque, Erica Ramcharitar
At the end of the summer, I was blessed with the opportunity to announce exciting changes coming to Imprint. The exciting changes have taken place; and the effects are starting to make themselves known around the office. I was most excited about our new website; providing new ways for our readers to interact and delivering content in a more accessible, appealing way. That change has gone relatively smooth — all websites come with their problems, though. We’re working on sporadic upgrades and bug fixes throughout the term to bring you new features as often as possible. In addition to this, I’m working on tightening up the style guide and providing a clear-cut guide to the operations and style of Imprint. But the most exciting change coming about is something that I have mixed feelings on. On one hand, I want to see how it turns out. On the other, I love this job.
I’m leaving in March 2007. It seems a long time away, but the process of replacement is starting now. The board of directors has formed a hiring planning committee to investigate the accuracy of the editor-in-chief ’s job description, plan advertising methods, and establish the ground rules for hiring my replacement. Imprint’s been taking a lot of heat lately. People are taking it more seriously, and the volunteers are too. I’m not happy about taking flak, but it’s a sign of an increase in student activism, for lack of a better phrase. People aren’t just damning Imprint; they’re furthering the dialogue that newspapers are designed to spark. Well, here’s your chance to take hold of your student newspaper. The hiring planning committee is looking for five to seven feepaying students to flush out its membership. Those who refunded your $3.30 will unfortunately not be allowed on the committee. But I’d still like to hear from you about why you got a refund. Especially if you’re reading this right now. Just think: you could take part in shaping the job description and application process for the next editor-in-chief. This level of community interaction is something that gets the journalist in me grinning with glee.
Remember, though, if you sit on the committee, you cannot apply for the position of editor-in-chief. If you’re thinking about applying — think hard. I love this job, and it has taught me more than any amount of schooling could hope to. It’s a big step and a one-year commitment. But at least I can afford six yachts, a summerhouse in Maui and that diamondencrusted DS Lite. That’s a lie. Campbell’s is my gourmet. But seriously, if you’re interested in taking my job, come talk to me. If you’re interested in playing a big role in the selection of a future editor-in-chief, come talk to me as well. Imprint exists to serve the students. It’s only fair that you have a say in the future of the paper. In talking about this, I am not merely reaching out for volunteers to stack the committee. Maybe I’m showing off a bit. I’m proud of this paper. Every letter that comes in, no matter how scathing, always makes me a little bit happy because we are able to provide the opportunity for effective discourse to occur. Now Imprint is offering an enormous opportunity for the student community to have a very loud voice in the hiring process. editor@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
John Lee
STARHAMMER
Office Staff Distribution, Andrea Meyers Distribution, Amy Pfaff Volunteer Co-ordinator, Margaret Clark Advertising Assistant, vacant Board of Directors board@imprint.uwaterloo.ca President, Jeff Anstett president@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Vice-president, Adam Gardiner vp@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Treasurer, Jacqueline McKoy treasurer@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Secretary, Wasim Parkar secretary@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Staff liaison, Darren Hutz staff.liasion@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Imprint is the official student newspaper of the University of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. Imprint is a member of the Ontario Community Newspaper Association (OCNA). Editorial submissions may be considered for publication in any edition of Imprint. Imprint may also reproduce the material commercially in any format or medium as part of the newspaper database, Web site or any other product derived from the newspaper. Those submitting editorial content, including articles, letters, photos and graphics, will grant Imprint first publication rights of their submitted material, and as such, agree not to submit the same work to any other publication or group until such time as the material has been distributed in an issue of Imprint, or Imprint declares their intent not to publish the material. The full text of this agreement is available upon request. Imprint does not guarantee to publish articles, photographs, letters or advertising. Material may not be published, at the discretion of Imprint, if that material is deemed to be libelous or in contravention with Imprint’s policies with reference to our code of ethics and journalistic standards. Imprint is published every Friday during fall and winter terms, and every second Friday during the spring term. Imprint reserves the right to screen, edit and refuse advertising. One copy per customer. Imprint ISSN 0706-7380. Imprint CDN Pub Mail Product Sales Agreement no. 40065122. Next board meeting: October 10 at 4:30 p.m. in SLC room 1116
Hunting that great big croc in the sky
The loss of the mighty Steve Irwin has affected us all. Violently sobbing, crouched naked in the fetal position for the last several weeks. I think I’ve had a little bit of trouble coming to terms with the complex emotions his tragic passing stirred up. Having had time to more fully contemplate the impact of this event, I’m finally ready to really deal with my feelings. The Crocodile Hunter had always been like the father who hunted deadly animals I never had. At first hearing the news, I selfishly thought about how much this affected me. “Now who will torment animals for my amusement?” The world has now entered a dark, new age. Crocodiles everywhere go un-wrestled. The tails of snakes remain mournfully ungrabbed. Animals both vicious and cuddly are now doomed to stay un-separated from their parents, garnering almost no camera time. Who will we rely on to interfere with nature, frightening various creatures for a virtually non-existent pedagogical value? I mean, the gradual destruction of habitat and ecosystems
everywhere is an a modest starting point, but where’s the “crikey!”? Organizations like the National Geographic society may be content to photo document the natural world while attempting to be as noninvasive as possible, but that’s because they are a bunch of sissies. Real education can only come from capturing these creatures and observing them in the high stress trauma of being wrestled into submission. This is how we were meant to see the natural world, not by some spineless photographer with some lame desire to understand where the unengaged animal fits in its ecosystem. Taken from us too soon, the brave CH was felled by that most feared of beasts, the villainous stingray. Can’t someone somewhere haul it out of the water, its majestic wings struggling and flapping around to show us some trivial detail about its underside? You know, as a tribute to Stevie. That’s how he would have wanted it. Despite being a distinguished celebrity, life wasn’t always good for funk master CH. An entire country of Austrailians turned their backs on him. For what reason? Sure he may have projected an antiquated Australian stereotype of the backward unrefined bushman in the tradition of Crocodile Dundee, but that’s what they really are like. All of them. Not everyone shares my profound attachment to this brave and wholly admirable man. I’ve even heard snickers and laughs at
this man’s expense. Let me just say, shame on all of you. Don’t you know that death automatically insulates you from disparaging comments? That’s a scientific fact. A man who has recently passed deserves respect. Even if you didn’t appreciate his profession and thought it to be a farcical inanity, the worshiping of a sensationalized and ridiculously contrived personality, his passing demands that you honour his memory. He was a daredevil. He lived on the edge. But unlike most men of danger, he wasn’t content to just risk his own life. No, my friends. He was an innovator. Not only did he put his own life in perilous danger, he was even willing to sacrifice his own child on the altar of questionable entertainment value. A lesser man would have had a change of heart following the birth of his first child. A timid pantywaist jackwad would have seen this child as a new responsibility and settled down to be around and raise the next generation of stereotype-perpetuating attention whores. This is how unselfish he was. How many of you would put educating the public through unnecessarily dangerous stunts above your own family’s well-being? None, my friends. None of you would. I’m Brendan Pinto and I’m single (not to mention lonely without Steve’s soothing voice), so tell your friends. bpinto@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
opinion
10
FRIDAY, september 29, 2006
Canada’s not-so-new government The phrase, “Canada’s New Government,” has been flying out of cabinet minister’s mouths, pasted onto government press releases, other official documents and websites in reference to Stephen Harper’s government. No longer is it “Canada’s government” but “Canada’s New Government.” Check it out for yourselves. A simple internet search on the phrase or a visit to the official Government of Canada’s website will reveal that this is no joke. I can only assume that this phrase is a creation of Prime Minister Harper since he keeps a tight leash on his ministers, and they are all singing the same melody. This phrase first caught my attention in a CBC news article on September 18 which reported that a British Columbian scientist emeritus with the Geological Survey of Canada, Dr. Andrew Okulitch, was relieved from his position after refusing to use the phrase, “Canada’s New Government,” on departmental correspondence. When an e-mail from the office of Minister of Natural Resources, Gary Lunn, instructed Okulitch to use this new phrase, Okulitch responded in a harsh e-mail that he that he would not comply. Within an hour, he received a reply from the ministry indicating that he was no longer part of the emeritus program. Although Okulitch later admitted that his actions were unprofessional, the response from the ministry seems to me like an overreaction. Several days
later, Okulitch was reinstated as scientist emeritus by the Deputy Minister of Natural Resources, the two sides having put the matter aside. Minister Lunn stated “Canada’s New Government” was never meant for use by working-level people, and that the e-mail should not have been sent out. However, the Minister said that “I’m proud to use it,” and that “We’re proud to be the new government of Canada.” Unfortunately we can’t hear capitalized letters in speech. Aside from the mistaken e-mail and overreaction of the ministry of Natural Resources, I am appalled that the title “Canada’s New Government” has been created and is being used by people in government. Whatever happened to Canada’s government, with a small “g,” meaning the government that belongs to Canada? This new phrase reeks of propaganda, newspeak and an attempt to brainwash voters. What do they mean by “New” anyway? Is it referring to the fact that Harper’s government is a recently elected government? I have found many press releases and articles of cabinet ministers referring to “Canada’s New Government” all dated in September, 2006. This government was elected eight months ago — which to me is not very “new” especially in fast flying politics. Besides, when Harper’s government comes to its end, will it still be “Canada’s New Government?” Perhaps they mean “New” as in different. Sure, this government may be different, but the Canadian government is a continuously evolving government and Harper’s government is only as “New” as the ones before it when they were in power. “New” can also imply “better,” and it is quite obvious that not everyone in Canada would agree that Harper’s government is better than previous governments.
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So why is our government identifying itself in this way? Is Harper is trying to make us believe that his government is indeed “New,” improved and better? As much as Harper may want to have us believe, his government is not revolutionary, and certainly does not warrant the use of this “New” adjective, let alone with a capital “N!” By sneaking this phrase into common use, several things can happen. We could be brainwashed into thinking that his government is indeed “New,” whichever definition of “New” we come to interpret. We could recognize this as a flagrant abuse of our language to create propaganda. We could also just ignore the whole issue, which would result in desensitizing of the word. Many politicians speak a lot but say nothing. To compound this, they are now overusing and misusing of words which will eventually dull their definitions and poignancy. Once the word “new” ceases to have any meaning, what title will the Harper government bestow upon themselves? How’s “Canada’s New and Improved Government?”, “Canada’s Best Government?”, “Canada’s Infallible Government?”, “Canada’s Government: Now Better Than Ever?” ,“Canada’s Government: Now with Extra Fibre?” No, tacky slogans are not just a commercial selling tactic — it is a public brainwashing tactic. Language is how we communicate information and ideas. It is used to inspire revolutions, to create nations, to gather support for war and to suppress citizens. Language has been twisted and
spun to manipulate people in many ways. It can be very powerful. Language must be used and, more importantly, understood critically. Alarm bells should go off when we see phrases such as “Canada’s New Government.” Why is this phrase being used? What is the agenda of the people who use it? What are they hiding? Although Harper promised transparency and accountability, they seem to be hiding behind this phrase. Do they have to tell us that they are “New?” Canadians should be able to recognize a government for what it is without being told. It is up to us to decide what government is new or not. If Harper is trying to brainwash us, I wonder if Dr. Okulitch would be entitled to the whistle blowers reward as stated in the new legislation the Conservatives have proposed. This was probably not the intent of that legislation, but personally, I thank him for bringing this to my attention. So what can we do about it? One way of fending off language misuse mentioned by author Don Watson in his book Death Sentences: How Clichés, Weasel Words, and Management-Speak are Strangling Public Language is to make a mockery of the phrase. Bringing it to public attention and laughing at it will shame and stop its use by the government. So, to “Canada’s Cutting-EdgeSuper-Duper Government,” I hope Canadians will see you for what you really are and not what you’d like to make us believe you are. — Kumi Yamamoto
Finding a forum for all In 1729, a radical pamphleteer printed and distributed an essay offering a solution to the impoverishment of his people. The immediate responses to his very modest proposal included, in great measure, shock and outrage from readers who found his suggestions to be in the poorest and most demeaning of tastes. Eating poor Irish babies, went the general assertion, was an abominable proposition that only showed the callousness — nay, even cruelty! — of the essay’s author. I am referring, of course, to Jonathan Swift. Almost 300 years later, the art of rhetoric is just as likely to be overlooked by the general audience. Consider the case of last week’s column by Brendan Pinto, entitled “Double the standard, double the fun.” For those who missed the issue, Pinto developed a surface theme regarding the “justness” of society’s double standard when it comes to promiscuity in men and women. I say “surface theme,” however, because just as Swift’s A Modest Proposal presents its argument for the consumption of Irish waifs in a sincere and heartfelt, but ultimately absurd tone, Pinto makes such declaratives as, “Let’s be honest, emotionally fulfilling relationships are for ugly people” and “if you are a girl and you sleep with multiple partners, you must obviously be a slut” (emphasis mine). Pinto likewise shares Swift’s knack for creating enemies with his prose: within five days of the newspaper’s release, Pinto received a handful of angry letters and a couple visits from concerned women on campus. Furthermore, Imprint received a petition demanding a formal mass apology and that Pinto’s “writing privilege in [the] Imprint [be] revoked.” The argument behind this petition is that Pinto is a misogynist (and misandrist, according to later assertions that he also portrays men in a negative light), and that “No one should have to walk away from having read an article feeling ill and discriminated against by the measure of its contents.” This situation touches on a few pertinent dilemmas, the foremost being: if even a single person feels offended for reasons of race, faith, gender or sexual orientation by what someone else writes, should that person’s article, or even the writer him or herself, be banned from publication?
And would any piece of writing, from any time period, survive if such a rigorous standard were imposed? Where do we draw the line? Certainly the petitioner’s underlying sentiment is laudable on one level, no doubt arising as it does from the belief that social progress is best achieved through positive affirmation (strong female role models like Tank Girl spring to mind). There are, however, other ways of seeking change — and pointing out existing hypocrisy, often through tongue-in-cheek demonstrations of a position’s absurdity, is another very effective strategy therein. And there are, of course, pros and cons to all kinds of social reform: positive affirmation, for instance, may be seen as a path of denial by some, while tongue-in-cheek declaratives may, as happened with Pinto, be seen as sincere statements of fact. The real issue, in the end, comes down to the place of “the forum” in contemporary society — and I’d argue that’s a mighty big place, if we hope to stay informed and socially conscious as a people. Furthermore, in the market of discourse, diversity is key: we need a diversity of ideas and a diversity of discursive methods, so as to reach the widest possible population with the most inclusive set of progressive concepts possible. Some might best identify with positive affirmations, for instance, while others will feel more accomplished after launching direct criticisms at the “real world.” A “right” course of universal action is thus impossible to determine precisely, while even a measure of “more right” can only be decided upon through experimentation — through the act of debate itself. Intolerance, I would further argue, serves only to make future discussions more difficult, and future players less comfortable being heard in the arena. Now, certainly there are articles that show absolutely no evidence of irony in their use of discriminatory language, and when an article can in no compelling way be seen as progressive, as a society we are morally obliged to temper, if not outright suppress, the content. But when personal offense is derived more from an interpretation of literal ideas, as opposed to ideas and the methods in which they are raised, banning is an extreme reaction. More effective, by far, would be adding your own voice to the social forum — if not by writing to Imprint, at least by sharing your opinions with friends and classmates, or else by responding to the issues in a way that best represents you: your own ideas and your own, distinct, even potentially controversial methods of expressing them. — Margaret Clark Arts Editor
opinion
FRIDAY, september 29, 2006
Tell me your type, get free condoms
As someone whose attention is rarely held by a member of the opposite sex for more than ten minutes, I have often wondered how some people can be in relationships for years, even a lifetime. Maybe I have a kind of attraction-ADD or maybe I just haven’t found the right person yet. Are some people merely relationship focused people, or have they just found their match? Yet, even people in relationships can find themselves feeling attracted to someone who is the polar opposite of their current mate. Could it be that they are bored, or is it that in the time they have been in the relationship, their “type” has changed? How do we know what our “type” really is? If I look back even three years, I had a very different type than I do now. Our attractions change as we grow as people, so is the idea of types merely a way in which we wean out the unappealing candidates? If so, how much value should we really put on this concept of “types?” Or, are they reflections of whom we are “destined” to be with? I’d like to believe I know my type. But really, I, like so many, have no idea. My ideal may be a glasses-wearing, Joyce-reading, fellow lit-major nicotine addict — but that doesn’t mean my attractions are limited to this possibly non-existent fragment of the population. Really, it is just an ideal after all. I would never really expect someone to be all of these things at once — it would just be a bonus, and I sincerely hope this affection of mine for smoking bookworms would never make me exclude a potential mate who doesn’t exhibit these qualities.
We all blur the lines as to whom we normally are attracted to, whom we should be attracted to, whom we are expected to be attracted to and whom we are attracted to. Dictionary.com defines “type” as “the general character or structure held in common by a number of people or things considered as a group or class.” Applied to the use of the word to which I’m referring, “types” are literally generalizations we make about the nature of the person we would like to date. The idea of “types” is a social construct that tries to box in the complexity of human sexual attraction — and this isn’t possible. Yet we do it anyway, like the definition alone can make the complex dating world just a little easier. I’ve touched on the idea of “types” before, and while I feel they are a tad arbitrary, there is no doubt they do affect who we choose to love — but like any rule, they’re meant to be broken. Some people seem to just draw people in — regardless of their usual “type.” What characteristics make people aflame to hormonefueled moths? So, I’m going to do a little experiment. No matter who warms your naughty bits, male, female, undecided, or even animal, e-mail me about the characteristic you find most attractive in a mate. Then I can see just how realistic, or not, the standards are that UW students set for each other and what causes people to select or discredit a potential partner. You can include your sex and orientation if you so choose, or anecdotes if you’d like. If you respond, you get a free lollipop condom. You can kill two birds with one stone if you’d like, and drop a quick note in a box I will leave in the Imprint office. Grab some lollipop condoms while you’re at it. acsanady@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
11
Impartial politics are good politics
If there is one group of people who can never do anything right, without a doubt, those people are politicians. One politician who is currently being dragged through a firestorm of criticism is Ron Oden, the Mayor of Palm Springs California. Last week, a large conference was held near Palm Springs for the Focus on the Family affiliated group, Love Won Out, which advocates that gays, lesbians and bisexuals are godless deviants who can become ‘normal’ heterosexuals if they only cross their fingers and wish for it hard enough (while simultaneously converting to the Focus on the Family-approved brand of Christianity). Ron Oden, acting in his official capacity as major, sent the group a letter welcoming them to the area, saying, “It’s a pleasure to welcome you [….] We are so proud to have you here in the Palm Springs area.” It is this letter which has provoked an attack upon the mayor, which may have not been such a good idea, considering that, firstly, Palm Springs has the largest percentage
of same-sex couples in all of the United States, and secondly that Oden, himself, is a gay man. Needless to say, the local LGBT community is up in arms over the welcome letter, and they have every right to be. The Love Won Out troop is a band of the sadly deluded, continuing to claim long-debunked myths as facts. They should — doubtlessly — not be encouraged. Despite this, I cannot say that Mayor Oden did anything seriously wrong. The job of the mayor, any mayor, is to promote and oversee the wellbeing of his city. Thus, when a large convention decides to roll into your city and sinks large amounts of funds into your community, you should ensure they feel welcome in the hopes of attracting similar gatherings into your community. It’s simply good politics. Even in the case of events which are potentially controversial — such as a convention of “ex-gay” “Christian” cult members — politicians cannot afford to play with the issues. Nor should we ask them to. If we as gays, lesbians and bisexuals, ourselves, are to expect our elected officials to support LGBT movements despite their personal or religious views on the matter – then we have to expect and allow for when things work in the opposite direction. Simply put, we cannot always get things our way.
There are many Canadian politicians who — despite their own personal feelings on the matter — voted for the legalization of same sex marriage because they understood that it was the direction civil rights in Canadian society should be headed. Mayor Oden — despite his personal feelings on the matter — welcomed a religious convention to his community because he understood that, while both he and many people within his community fervently disagree with their positions, the money they would bring to the area would be of benefit to everyone within Palm Springs. My only criticism would be that the mayor signed the letter under his own name, rather than under the title, “The Mayor’s Office.” Considering that Mayor Oden is a gay man himself, writing it under his own name gave an air of endorsement of the beliefs that are held by Love Won Out. Leaving the letter impersonal would have likely caused less of a stir, and would still have ensured that Love Won Out got the real message: “Thanks for visiting Palm Springs. We don’t necessarily like you, but we’ll take your money all the same.” gbarclay@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
opinion
12
Pussy-wagon rides again
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Somewhere at the back of my my mind, I am wondering whether Brendan Pinto’s article “Double the standard, double the fun” was writen purely for the sake of entertaining himself with hate mail. First of all, you’re not letting girls have any fun. For a large part of their lives, men are programmed to get around as much as possible, and us girls take full advantage of that. Why not? If we didn’t you’d be all alone with your blue balls, Maxim and beer on Friday nights. Now it’s time to get abstract. There is a point in every man’s life when sex becomes secondary. The need for satsifaction is suddenly accompanied by a desire for a second breath in your bed on Saturday mornings. The gap sex has happily filled for the past few decades unexpectedly gets deeper, and the scary “E” word most people avoid at all cost, emotion, comes into play. Freud himself has done numerous studies on the topic of male vs. female psychological development through the life stages. Heck, I can whip up his Sexual Diamond diagram right now if you’d like. It states clearly that while men and women take polar opposite paths in their sexual desires and physiological needs, they interwine around the age of 40-50. In other words, a house becomes a home when your darling’s in it, your hands and heart feel empty without them, cookies taste all wrong when they’re gone...You stop looking. Trust me, you do. I’ve read the books of less-than-decent men. If you find it, it’s a puzzle-piece fit, and you no longer have the need or eyes for anything else. The point is, while fucking is satisfactory for both genders at this point — it ceases to be and gets better beyond your imagination. I don’t expect you to get it. For about another 20 years, in fact. And I have to say I understand why this is a popular path to take. It’s easy, convenient and fun to fuck around. Aside from the wonders of STDs it’s nearly impossible to get hurt unless you’re horrible at sex. What I would like to know is just how you’re expecting to get yourself some puss if you don’t think girls should sleep with more than one partner. You walked yourself into a corner in your first paragraph — if female promiscuity is indeed frowned upon by you, then you wouldn’t be getting any. Unless
BARFLIES
FRIDAY, september 29, 2006
you expect five girls to devote themselves to you and no other, which is nearly impossible unless you’ve planned your penile implants through and through. After reading your article I am once again reassured that it’s because of guys like you that girls turn to GLOW for comfort. But, you know, at least the writing was good. — Anya Lomako 1A arts and business
Double the standard, divided by diplomacy
To the editor, As an angry Feminazi (as this article has coined me, an individual appalled by last week’s editorial), I believe it is my duty to respond to “Double the Standard, Double the Fun,” and question Imprint’s lack of discretion in having printed an article that will affect 22,241 students, 48.2 per cent of which are female. Let’s consider this. There are 12,085 women on campus based on student demographics from fall 2003. Many of us have paid our tuition fees, never having opted out of our $3.30 charge by Imprint. Approximately $27,000 is generated per term, by women alone. Do we not have a say as to what should be written to either promote or denote our gender? And let’s not forget our sponsors, who are associating themselves with Imprint. Are we to assume that these supporters are also in favour of the sexist and oppressing stereotypes that are being expressed and paid for, by us also? You call it satire. I call it sexism! If this article had been written to denote a specific culture or race, Goddess forbid! Racism is too often addressed readily, while sexism is swept under the rug for no further critique. Now, let’s get started. “Double the Standard, Double the Fun:” For those who haven’t had the wonderful opportunity to have been dishonored by it textually, it is an article that depicts female human sexuality as being something shameful, disgusting and ordained for “Sluts.” There is nothing covert about the language used to describe sexually liberated females either: “a floozy riding the trollop trolley” Whereas men are depicted quite differently: “Men are hardwired to try and inseminate as many different women as they possibly can.” While there is scientific basis for this statement, one must ask what else are we built to do? I might be physically capable of smacking an ignorant individual in the face. I have the physical capacity to do so. Does this mean I am
to act on all of my capabilities as a human being? Hardly so! The comment made in paragraph five, sentences one to two, “For women, seducing a man can hardly be characterized as arduous… Doing so is akin to, let’s say, beating up a midget.” Wow. In other words, he is making the underlying assumption that all men are easy and that women will have nil trouble in the seduction of them. This undermines men who have committed themselves to celibacy, a monogamous relationship, or who may be abstaining for religious or spiritual purposes, not to mention the obvious heterosexual bias. And what about your average Joe with not-so-old-fashioned actual standards? This individual does not respect women, their sexuality or their right to get freaky if they so desire. He does not respect men, either. He has generalized and in doing so, has put them in a negative spotlight. In fact, the unfounded stereotypes, name calling, and assertions can be summed in his statement, “Characterizing women as objects whose express purpose is the gratification of men. I am not arguing this.” The notion that women are to be sexually objectified is appalling in its sexism, harassment and degradation of being and in doing so, has violated our collective right to co-exist peacefully and equally. In no way is this article a reflection of Section 15 (1) of the Charter of Rights and Freedoms. Both the University of Waterloo and Imprint must take responsibility for the printing of an article that infringes on the rights of its entire people. It should be noted that in the article’s second sentence, last paragraph, there is a grammatical error. If spelling has been overlooked, then perhaps the entire article has been overlooked also. Some may argue that the author was “kidding” and that it was “satirical.” Certainly, he aims to amuse those who share his opinion, but his belief regarding the inequality of women from a sexual standpoint remains. If this article was intended to exemplify the ludicrous notion of the gap of privilege between men and women’s sexual freedom, then it failed to demonstrate this is in its final paragraph, where it may have had the opportunity to redeem itself. No one should have to walk away from having read an offensive article, feeling ill and discriminated against, by the measure of its content. The student collective requires an apology on behalf of the Editor and some re-vamping in its hiring criteria for its columnists. — Sarah Thompson 3A psychology and women’s studies
Ian Blechschmidt
opinion
FRIDAY, september 29, 2006
Former Warrior embarrassed by lack of focus on campus rec
To the editor, The recent resignation of UW football’s head coach and other lesser-known recent events are bringing to light a cancerous crisis that has been lurking in the halls of UW administration for quite some time. Quite simply, this university is failing when it comes to athletics, all the while facilitating the façade that our athletics mirror our academic excellence. A step further is that our athletic department insists on excellence from our varsity teams, while providing the teams none of the tools to achieve such goals. A likely underlying reason for Coach Triantafilou’s resignation not mentioned in the tidy athletic department release is the exasperating fact that the University of Waterloo is one of only two Ontario universities refusing to take advantage of the exciting new change in provincial policy which allows schools to offer athletic scholarships to incoming students. President Johnston has often told student-athletes he cherishes the opportunities he gets to highlight their accomplishments. Well, from here on in, they are going to be academically-gifted students who happen to make a sports team. Anyone who is an elite athlete is
obviously going to go elsewhere. Even those with academic and athletic excellence on their side will be even more likely now more than ever to choose the competition — University of Toronto, Queens, etc. I imagine President Johnston, with his Cornell background, is presenting the idea that we should be the Ivy League of the North — holding our heads high and attract students based on reputation only. This may work for academics, but unfortunately, we’re not at that point in athletics; the UW hockey team is not quite the same honour as playing for Harvard. What makes these Ivy League schools athletically great is their rich traditions and their rich alumni that provide millions of dollars for breathtaking athletic facilities. Guess what? We don’t have that on our side either being a relatively young school. Maybe in 100 years we will be able to afford to carry on our athletic department the
POSTSCRIPT
The Podium NEXT ISSUE’S TOPIC: “What do you think of Waterloo’s varsity sports programs?” IMPRINT wants to hear from YOU.
Submit an editorial of approximately 500 words to opinion@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
way we do, but at the moment, it is embarrassing. It is a credit to the fine coaches at UW that we even do as well as we do. Other universities are amazed our track team is superior given how little we have. In cross-country, other schools are also amazed that our athletic department treats us as poorly as they do, denying our nationally ranked UW team the chance to race at the CIS championships. Coaches are given a pittance, while resources and budgets are being restricted further every year and our own athletic department continues to make it harder and harder through policy for our own teams to attend national championships, and gain valuable experience. Our facilities are either nonexistent (track and field), being reduced (cross-country course on north campus) or old (see the concrete blemish next to the SLC) while our competition at U of T and
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Queen’s are building new running tracks and athletics facilities. Our latest contribution even remotely athletics-related was a room with workout equipment at the CIF that is already proving to be inadequate based on the lineups to use cardio machines. In this place known for partnerships, innovation and accommodating business, I find it hard to believe that UW athletics cannot find a financial solution to better serve our student-athletes with better facilities. So let’s review: no scholarships, no budget, no facilities — yet increasingly tougher standards being imposed. Something in this equation doesn’t fit. It’s time for this university to step into reality and better manage the great opportunity that could be successful athletics at this university, which is great in many other respects. — Anonymous UW alumnus
Graham Moogk-Soulis
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Features Imprint
Friday, september 29, 2006
features@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Features Editor: Kinga Jakab Features Assistant: Ellen Ewart
Focusing on inattention Monica Harvey reporter
Attention lapses, absentmindedness or mind wandering are things that most people experience on a daily basis. As a student, this cognitive phenomenon is probably your worst enemy, along side the inescapable lure of the dress-up keg party. A huge obstacle in furthering one’s education is the inability to pay attention. I’m sure many of us have found ourselves turning a page to discover we have no idea what we just read. An attention lapse is difficult to define but is best described as suddenly not being explicitly aware of something you are doing. These attention lapses can often be a source of more problematic errors. These errors are called attention related cognitive errors and while they are usually just inconvenient or hilarious, they can also have severe consequences. There are many situations where even the smallest attention lapse can have disastrous results. Imagine doctors, nurses, pilots or drivers having a propensity to attention lapses.
While almost everyone experiences attention lapses, recent studies suggest that there are some people that can be more prone to absentmindedness. Many factors can affect a proneness to attention lapses such as environment or the current activity, however some people will have similar absentmindedness pattern regardless of these external factors. Some people are engaged in an activity no matter what it is while others find they daydream even while feeding sharks. While people can have a propensity to absentmindedness, the question of whether or not it is a genetic disposition or something developed through watching too much MTV is an area that needs more research. By now you’re probably wondering what you should wear to Phil’s tonight. Hopefully you also want to know how to prevent absentmindedness, so that you are able to study more effectively or, if anything, so you don’t show up at the bar with no pants. Clinical studies have shown that attention lapses are more likely to occur when we are fatigued. Attention
is severely impaired during extended periods of being awake. Therefore, the simplest preventative measure for absentmindedness is to get good night’s sleep. If you have a high propensity to attention lapses there are other measures you can take to prevent mind wandering. Many sources have suggested cultivating mindfulness as the best defence against mind wandering. Mindfulness is an aware attitude; it is the bare or direct attention to every moment in our lives. Although absentmindedness and its subsequent errors are a common daily occurrence with potentially harmful effects, there has been little research conducted on the subject. Little is known on how, why or when attention lapses occur and it is therefore difficult to suggest ways to prevent it. However, research conducted by Dr. James Reason, an emeritus professor of psychology from the University of Manchester has shown that attention lapses are more common during the morning routine and on the way home from work. The further implications of these results are that
Penis size not a big deal
Every so often I receive interesting questions like “Does evidence exist of high rates of masturbation by males increasing penis size?” Ah, if only it were true. You fellas would be running off to get your lotion and tissues right now — but a lot of masturbation does not really increase penis size. Although the penis has muscles, they don’t work in the same way as the muscles in, for example, your arm, where exercise does increase the size of the muscle. The most important muscles in the penis are in two groups. One group relaxes to let more blood into the erectile tissue. The corpus cavernosum and corpus spongiosum make up the three sections of spongy erectile tissue that run the length of the penis (corpus cavernosom is also found in the female clitoris). The two corpus cavernosum sections extend from the pubic bone to the head of the penis and they hold about ninety per cent of the blood in your erection, increasing the length and girth of your penis. The corpus spongiosum surrounds the urethra, preventing it from being crushed during erection and forms the glans or head of the penis. The penis head stays more malleable during an erection because blood drains from the corpus spongiosum more easily than the shaft. The second of the two groups of muscles contract to help keep the blood inside the erectile tissue of the
penis. One of them is the ischiocavernosus muscle. This muscle also helps flex your anus and stabilizes your erection — in women it tenses the vagina, this is part of what women are working during Kegel exercises. There isn’t really anything in the penis that can be “exercised” to increase its size. Supposedly you can increase the size of your penis by using a penis pump to extend the spongy tissue inside, but there hasn’t been any hard evidence to back this claim up. Tugging on your penis or hanging weights from it to try to make it longer is much more likely to result in hurting yourself and permanently damaging the tissue. You only have one penis, so please take care of it!
You know who rarely worries about penis size? Women. A lot of men worry about their penis size. You know who rarely worries about penis size? Women. You know why? Because we know that even guys with smaller-than-average equipment can still rock our worlds if they know what they are doing. People always talk about how the media makes women feel inadequate and damages our self-esteem. But men are often neglected in these discussions and they can be victims of media, too. Porn and spam mail are two of the biggest culprits for lowering men’s self esteem. Sure, guys in porn often have ugly hair and sometimes have ugly bodies, but what do they usually have? They have a penis that is, or appears to be, larger than average. Not only do they seem well endowed, but their
partners seem to enjoy it! And if that’s what it takes to satisfy a woman (or man, or both), how can any “average” fellow hope to measure up? The guys with long shlongs who end up in the porn industry are there for a reason. This is the concept of “over-representation” at work — because you’ve seen so much porn with guys who have big penises, you imagine that everyone must have one, except you. But this isn’t true! It’s called average for a reason; if you really are of average penis size then most guys have penises around the same size as yours or smaller! You shouldn’t worry about those in the porn industry. Unfortunately, to add to the worries you might have acquired after years of viewing porn, spam mailers seem to have picked up on how common it is for men to worry about their penis size. It doesn’t matter how often you might complain about the “increase your penis size” and “big willy 4U” e-mails filling up your junk mail folder — some of these messages seep into your subconscious (or conscious) mind and feed your worries. As an interesting side note, although many people like to look at huge penises, not many women actually enjoy one inside of them — there’s only so much space inside the average vagina. The average vagina is built for the average penis. I think it’s reprehensible that spam mailers feed on this weakness that men have and try to convince them to try whatever herbal supplement they are hawking. By the way, don’t bother with the “miracle products” you hear about in your spam — they don’t work. If herbal supplements did increase you penis size, it would be all over the news and we would all know about it.
attention lapses are more likely to happen during routine behaviour. Therefore, it is during these times of automatic routine that we should be more mindful. While general advice like sleep and mindfulness may be helpful, the best way to avoid attention lapses is to make a note of when you are more prone to lapses and what affects you the most in terms of absentmindedness. The key is to try and actually put an effort into paying attention and avoiding those settings and habits that tend to lead to mind wandering. “[Attention lapses are] something so everyday but so little is understood about it. A lot of what is written is speculation. The hard data just isn’t available,” says Dr. Dan Smilek from the psychological department at the University of Waterloo. Dr. Smilek is currently part of an exciting new study on the common yet significant
Christine Ogley
occurrence of the wandering mind. A large part of his study is collecting anecdotes from students and professors involving attention lapses. Everyone can participate in this important and interesting study. Visit http://arts.uwaterloo. ca/~oops/ to learn more about absentmindedness and about Dr. Smilek’s work. You can also report a personal anecdote of an attention lapse on the website. Dr. Smilek is also currently developing various assessment tools and tests measuring attention failures, attention-related errors, memory failures and sustained attention which are also available on the website.
Drink recipes for students Creative if not classy budget drink ideas Ellen Ewart staff reporter
As a student, partying is often more about quantity rather than quality. Lucky Lager rather than Stella Artois; Banff Ice rather than Belvedere; screwdrivers rather than margaritas. Cheaper means we can buy more. The money we save on cheaper ingredients is not put towards fancy cocktail umbrellas or a glass rimmer. As a result, we simply don’t always have the resources to come up with fancy drink recipes on the fly. But this doesn’t mean we can’t find alternative ways to host wonderful parties with creative, if not classy, drink recipes. Note that if you are attempting to stock a complete bar, start slowly. Building a bar that houses a wide array of ingredients such as Cointreau, Triple Sec, Blue Curacao and the like can be very expensive all at once. Instead, think of your three favourite drinks and purchase the ingredients required. From there you can begin to branch off and slowly acquire more ingredients. Websites such as Webtender’s In My Bar (www. webtender.com/cgi-bin/imbselect) work well to include ingredients you already have with one or more new ingredients to generate recipes.
This week Imprint suggests two easy recipes that don’t require you to buy anything foreign to the regular student selections. The first is a great idea that makes use of any ingredients you might have left over after a night out: beer and vodka. The recipe is simple: 1 part vodka, 1 part beer, 1 part lemonade. Serve over ice and voila! (Use different kinds of beer to create variations on this recipe.) This might sound gross and desperate, even to those of you who eat Kraft dinner with tuna four nights a week, but have faith. There are many websites that second this recipe choice: AllRecipes rates a variation of this drink at 4.5 stars out of 5. Extratasty.com promises that this drink will “do the trick.” Drinkoftheweek.com combines beer with vodka and Tabasco for an equally effective but probably less enjoyable drink. Next time you’re left with a mishmash of booze, don’t dispair. Go buy some lemonade for $2.95 and give this drink a try. eewart@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Leftover Lemonade 1 part vodka 1 part beer
1 part lemonade ssparling@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
ice
FRIDAY, september 29, 2006
An international experience at UW in jobs outside of the school, an offcampus work permit may be issued if applied for, but only after completing International students face different six months of the program achieving challenges than the average Waterloo a minimum academic standing in both student. Applications don’t end at the the graduate and undergraduate realm. registrar’s office and involve walking a This six month minimum automatically much longer paper trail. This, of course, excludes anyone with a visitor status. Permanent resident status, however, is only one of the many dissimilarities that characterize the foreign experience is an extended and expensive process. It can take as long as two years, with an from the average Canadian student. application fee costing $500. A year of On the other hand, the concept of the global village continues to crystallize work experience is required, though this in more and more facets of our lives. need not be in Canada. The exclusivity While borders may always exists, their of achieving this status comes from meaning, especially in western spheres, the large volume of people across the persists in less restrictive terms. Canada world that wish to be part of the limited in particular prides itself on the multi- group permitted to enter the country each year. One cultural mosaic of the recent of which its Currently 8 per cent of efforts made population is facilitate comprised and the undergraduate and to the naturalizathe University tion process of Waterloo is 26 per cent of was held here a highly visible graduate students hail on campus.A ambassador of representative this tradition. from abroad. from the CanaDarlene dian Consulate Ryan,the managing director of the International in Detroit presented an information Student Office, was kind enough to session for this very complicated speak with Imprint. With complimentary process. Each application can be very gummy Lifesavers in hand, I sat down different, not just between different countries, but between different indiwith her for a friendly discussion of various features of the international viduals. Due to the select nature of the process, an incomplete application can student community on campus. International students make up a quite easily be rejected. Information large part of Waterloo. Currently 8 can be found at the Citizenship and eight per cent of the undergraduate Immigration Canada website. The postgraduate work permit and 26 per cent of graduate students hail from abroad. Given the current was altered this past May. Students full time student population, this who graduated from a registered Catranslates to 1576 undergrads and 745 nadian institution like the University of graduate students. With over 2000 Waterloo, have three months to find students representing scores of dif- a position in Canada related to their ferent countries, significant effort is field of study. Gaining employment qualifies the student for a postgraduput into serving their unique needs. Even with all of these students ate work permit for one year. This coming in from across the globe, work experience can also be used Waterloo’s Internationalization Strat- towards a permanent residency applicaegy is looking to see these numbers tion. Recent policy changes in Ottawa grow over the long term. Current have allowed these students to extend projections outlined in the Six Decade postgraduate work visas to a limit of Plan hope to push these numbers up two years. In areas of the country more to 10 per cent of the undergraduate heavily saturated by immigration like population and 30 per cent of a vastly Toronto, Montreal and Vancouver, the expanded graduate program. The cur- rule still remains limited to one year. rent graduate program enrolment could Many other regions, including Waterloo now allow for this two-year additional increase by well over 200 per cent. Virtually all international students stay. Having an extra year helps espehold student visas, which allow them to cially in acquiring the work experience live and study in Canada for the term that so many Canadian employers are outlined by their program. Exchange looking for when hiring. Waterloo is a wonderfully diverse students in Canada for less than six months can apply for and enter with campus. With Kitchener-Waterloo a visitor’s visa, which is much easier to being named one of the world’s top acquire. However, they are still encour- seven intelligent communities of 2006, foreign scholars are necessary to mainaged to obtain a student visa. Getting a student visa is promoted, tain this reputation. as it presents working on campus as bpinto@imprint.uwaterloo.ca an option. For those wishing to work
features
The most important social event today
Brendan Pinto
staff reporter
Correction “How to write an essay under any circumstance,” published September 15, stated, “For more hands-on advice, UW’s ELPP, English Language Proficiency Program, offers a wealth of services. Katherine MacLean provides office hours on Mondays between 1:30-2:30 (or by appointment) for students who would like their papers reviewed or have questions.” MacLean’s office hours are for those registered in the Writing Skills Workshop. There are many tutors in the ELPP who can assist students. Students are encouraged to drop into the Writing Centre (PAS, Rm 2081) to register for a consultation appointment. Secondly, the article described volunteers who help with revision of papers as “Masters and PhD students, as well as retired professors.” The tutors in the ELPP are in fact hired staff members who hold Masters and PhDs — not Masters and PhD students. The ELPP does not offer student/peer tutoring.
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Everyone has their favourite activity to do with friends. Some hang out, which just means purposely not planning anything. Some go for a run and some go out for drinks. However, I think, for those having trouble deciding what to do, I can effectively persuade you towards my all-time favourite social event. I love going out for breakfast. Breakfast is probably the cheapest meal of the day. The great thing about going out for breakfast is that if you want to drop a pretty penny, you can always get the fancier and more expensive dishes like omelettes or eggs benedict. It gives you a wide variety. So if one friend is broke and the other flush, why not try breakfast? Our frugal friend can have a breakfast special for $3.99 at most respectable places and our fancier friend can splurge on the breakfast buffet. The other great thing about meeting for breakfast is that you’ll always have your whole day ahead of you afterward. This is especially great for dates.
x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x x
Picture it: it’s 10:00 a.m. and you’ve than refills on pop. You can nurse a already had a wonderful breakfast cup of coffee for hours. There’s no date. Don’t want the day to end so rush. No one is trying to close the soon? No problem, just carry on to store and put you on the street. Just uptown Waterloo for some shopping sit back and enjoy your steaming or to the park for some ultimate cup of joe. Country Boy, just down Frisbee. the street from Or, better yet, Fairview Mall in The great thing walk your date to Kitchener, even about going out for goes so far as to class. Plus, since breakfast is the leave a full pot breakfast is that if of coffee at your earliest meal of the day, you could Who could you want to drop a table. meet again later ask for anything in the day and it pretty penny, you more? No matter would feel like a how you crack it, can always get the a good breakfast second date. The timing opportugood friends fancier and more ex- with nities are great. is “eg gs-actly” Besides, who pensive dishes like how you should can turn down the start your day. omelettes or eggs amazing breakSo do what I fast atmosphere? did this summer benedict. The clinking of and try as many plates in a diner, breakfast places as the smell of bacon and eggs in the you can. Find your favourites. air (vegans, please ignore this) and Try something new. Maybe a the sight of a hot cup of coffee in Spanish omelette is the thing that front of you. If you’re a morning tantalizes your taste buds. person, this can be an exciting way Or maybe you’ll let your friends to start your day. do the eating while you simmer down If you’re a night owl who’s more with a nice hot cup of tea. Bring a than just a little hung-over, hide be- newspaper and go alone, just don’t hind that coffee cup and let the bacon forget to invite your good friend Jeff grease flush out the taste of hooker once in a while. spit from your mouth. Plus, free janstett@imprint.uwaterloo.ca refills on coffee are so much cooler
STEPHEN LEWIS – Keynote Speaker presented by Homecoming & UW’s ONE WATERLOO Diversity Campaign WARRIORS FOOTBALL GAME vs. LAURIER ES AMAZING RACE 21st ANNUAL AHS 5km FUN RUN IMPACT UW EXPO CAMPUS TOURS EAST ASIAN FESTIVAL @ RENISON COLLEGE ROCK GARDEN SCAVENGER HUNT HOMECOMING BBQ & CHILDREN’S ACTIVITIES UW ART GALLERY WARRIORS VOLLEYBALL TOURNAMENT EARTH SCIENCES MUSEUM & DINOSAUR PRESENTATION MATH OPEN HOUSE CONRAD GREBEL FAMILY FALL FAIR BLUETM FROM BLUE’S CLUESTM Sing-a-long / Meet & Greet WARRIOR WEEKENDS HOMEFEST @ BOMBER
features
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FRIDAY, september 29, 2006
Wanting the wonton this fall season Wonton skins, pot stickers, dumplings. Whatever you choose to call these paper thin squares, in the end it all equates to an edible creation which hosts a small present inside filled with a blend of distinct, memorable flavours. While you can easily purchase prepared portions at the supermarket, making them is so much more rewarding and easy — all that is required of you is making the filling. In fact, one vivid childhood memory included a teamwork effort, which consisted of my grandma, my mom and me. With skilful manipulation of her index finger and thumb, my grandma would fan out the delicate wraps in a spiral formation, as if making origami. She would hand me a sheet to add the filling, where Ingredients: 1/2 green onion (also called spring onion or scallion) 6 oz. (175g) uncooked ground pork or chicken 1/2 tsp (2mL) soy sauce 1/2 tsp (2mL) vegetable oil 1 tsp (5mL) garlic salt Pinch of pepper 1 large egg white 32 wonton rappers (one package) 6 cups (1.5 L) water for cooking Soy sauce for serving
it would arrive at its final destination by having its edges crimped by my mom. Wontons are made from water, egg and salt, and these multipurpose wrappers can be pan fried, deep fried, boiled or steamed. Pork would be my preference for the filling, however chicken is just as good if you don’t prefer the taste of pork, or abstain for religious reasons. By today’s standards, pork is much leaner than it was a decade ago thanks to improved feeding techniques. Its peak seasons, and therefore lower prices, are between October and February. When choosing this type of meat in the supermarket, look for pork that is pale pink with a small amount of white (not yellow) fat. In moderation, pork is not only a delicious selection, but has nutritional offerings such as a good source of Vitamin C, Niacin, Phosphorus and Zinc, and a very good source of Protein, Vitamin B12, Iron and Selenium.
wrappers together, avoid pressing on the meat. As you are pressing the wrappers together, push out any air bubbles inside. You should have 16 wonton pieces in total. 7. Bring a medium sized pot of water to boil. Place five to six wontons and simmer for
about 8 to 10 minutes, turning occasionally. Use a slotted spoon to retrieve them. Add a few drops of soy sauce and enjoy while they are still warm. tli@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Method:
1. Finely dice the green onions. You will end up with about three tbsp (45mL). 2. Put the green onion, ground meat, soy sauce, oil, garlic salt and pepper in a bowl and mix well with a fork. 3. Put the egg white into a small bowl and beat lightly. 4. Lay wonton wrapper flat on your worktable. Place a rounded tablespoon of the meat filling into the middle. Don’t put too much inside or the wrap cannot be sealed up. 5. Dip a pastry brush into the egg wash (or using your index finger), brush it on the wrapper around the meat and right over the edges of the wrapper. 6. Place another wrapper over the one with the filling, lining up the corners. Press the two
Tiffany Li
features
FRIDAY, september 29, 2006
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Introducing the newest addition to Features and a chance for anyone and everyone to get involved! Know a good fad or think you’re a trendsetter? Let us know!
Kinga Jakab
Salim Eteer, 2A electrical engineering, shows off a sweet pair of shoes — a trend that many men on campus are getting into. Cool shoes are the new popped collar.
Kinga Jakab
Angelo Florendo, 4A biotechnology, sports a trend common to males — jeans dressed up with a button-down shirt. Glasses are the newest accessory, along with a bookbag instead of an oldschool backpack.
Kinga Jakab
Jackie Hwang, 1A science, is wearing a fuzzy, hooded vest and lace-up boots that contrast nicely with a short skirt.
Kinga Jakab
Kinga Jakab
Victor Cheng, 1A science, looks gangsta with the rolled up pant leg, yet so ‘80s in Converse-style shoes with the tongue flapping out. A combination of fads can sometimes be overkill but Cheng pulls this off nicely.
Emma Tarswell, 2A history, wears the latest, sexiest fad of black leggings and flat shoes. The leggings are versatile and can be worn with almost anything. The slippers may be seasonal — we’ll have to see.
STUDENT SPECIAL!
Join today for
299
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and receive a Free Fit Kit!*
Kinga Jakab
Vicki Bouwers, 1A biomed science, and Stephanie Ebreo, 1A kinesiology, are wearing probably the most popular trend on campus — the sweatpants-and-a-hoodie combination. Bouwers is wearing the latest Croc shoes, which give the feet ventilation. Ebreo is sporting a long lasting fad of Uggs style boots.
1-800-597-1FIT *Valid student ID required. Membership expires 8 months from date of purchase. Offer expires September 30, 2006. Other restrictions may apply, see club for details.
Imprint
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Friday, september 29, 2006
Neal Moogk-Soulis
crossword Across
What is your favourite quote? By Amy Brooks and Salim Eteer
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” - Elenor Roosevelt Emily Alexander 3A kinesiology
“I don’t know how to put this, but I’m kind of a big deal.” - Ron Burgundy Connor Holway 3A kinesiology
1. Peloponnesean dialect 6. Ornamental garlands 10. Geographical unit of area 14. Expected/actual disparity 15. Ancient Peruvean empire 16. Insolent child 17. Doppelganger (2 wds.) 19. Opposite over the hypotenuese 20. Drench 21. Chemical compound with many forms but the same formula 23. Pompous fool 25. Television (2 wds.) 28. Having been reclined 30. Brazil’s former capitl. 31. Cause to feel shame 32. Knitted sock 35. Cry loudly 37. Detour 42. Low dam 43. Settled rut 45. American chameleon 49. Actor Kilmer 51. White Siberian duck 52. Tanzanian capital 56. Before 57. Overlap heads on a coin 58. It’s in you to give 60. Employs 61. Goes on and on and on 66. Back of the pants 67. Baby cow 68. Step 69. Lacework knots 70. Large rare trees 71. Laser printer ink Down
1. Performed 2. Metal-bearing mineral “Sucess is not a destination, it’s a journey.” - John Maxwell Riyad Mushbah & Khaled Elnabolsy
“Damned if you do, damned if you don’t. ” Jason Eilmore 2A science
3A finance & 2A civil engineering
“The journey of a thousand miles begins with the very first step.” - Chinese proverb Fatima Wasser & Carissa Todd
September 22 Solution
“I feel sorry for the people who don’t drink because when they wake up that’s the best they’ll feel all day.”
1A science & 1A applied sciences
Jeff Atchison,
“As soon as you trust yourself, you will know how to live.” - Johann von Gogh Kav Hobshmand
“If you’re a bird, I’m a bird.” - Notebook, Noah Becky Radkowski & Sarah Stadnyk
Masters system design
4A history
2A geography & 1A biochemistry
3. Highway marker (2 wds.) 4. Of Indian origin 5. Persian prince 6. One-dimensional 7. Tool worshippers dept. code 8. Mob kill 9. Hindu dresses 10. Sponge purpose 11. Ukrainian peninsula 12. Hindu queen 13. Archaic eternal 18. System of beliefs suffix 22. Cliff climber (2 wds.) 23. Served with ice cream 24. Hindu dress 26. Ignatieff ’s party 27. Payday vulture product 29. NY’s largest city 33. Bottom ranked 34. North of east 36. Hairpiece 38. Spanish exultation
39. Multiple negatives 40. Jim Carrey 41. All time 44. Dolly 45. Tweak 46. Queasiness 47. Almond syrup for cocktails 48. Smallest things 50. Music imprints 53. Waiter’s duty 54. Keyboard key 55. Slight wet, defunct Canadian band 59. Germany’s Iron Chancellor Bismarck 62. Skinny fish 63. Non-stick product 64. Compete 65. Make a mistake Weekly Wisdom
Gentleness overcomes strength.
Friday, september 29, 2006
arts@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Arts Editor: Margaret Clark Arts Assistant: Dinh Nguyen
Arts Imprint
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Word on the Street a literary feat Kitchener-Waterloo celebrates local magazines, publishers, book stores and news venues in weekend festival Margaret Clark arts editor
September 24 proved tempermental where weather was concerned — cold, heavy showers and stiff breezes interspersed with moments of lighter grey (and sometimes bright blue) skies — but neither rain nor wind could keep Kitchener-Waterloo locals from exploring the various literary tents pocking the drive around Victoria Park. What was all the brouhaha about? If you don’t know, you clearly missed out on Word on the Street. An annual pro-literacy event that crops up in only five cities all across Canada, Word on the Street celebrated its fifth year in K-W this past weekend with a wide variety of literary media and forums represented in the festival tents. Booksellers like The Mysterious Affair at Waterloo, Words Worth Books and even Carry On Comics were sporting and selling their wares (hurriedly covering up the tables whenever a sputter of raindrops encroached), while local presses — including the University of Waterloo Press and Wilfrid Laurier Press — showcased their line-up of local and more broadly Canadian content. Even local literary journals, belonging to a far smaller and more difficult market in the contemporary publishing world, got the chance to recruit new readers. UW’s own Alternatives Journal, an academic publication out of the Environmental Studies building (dealing, of course, with environmental issues), and The New Quarterly, an award-winning Canadian literary journal residing in a wing of St. Jerome’s College, both experienced a high volume of curious bystanders. At times the Alternatives tent was bustling with so much activity their issues couldn’t be seen from even a few feet away, while The New Quarterly offered an attractive deal for readers willing to subscribe that same day. Both the Waterloo and the Kitchener public libraries were also in attendance, as were representatives of K-W’s mainstream newspaper The Record. But Word on the Street went far beyond the usual literary fare, with somewhat related groups like the Editor’s Association of Canada, the Society of Ontario Freethinkers, the Waterloo Regional Arts Council and even the Victoria Park Historical Committee in at-
Michael L. Davenport
In the calm surroundings of Victoria Park, bibliophiles and browsers alike sampled the community’s literary offerings. tendance. (A full listing of associations that were present in some capacity at the event can be found at www.thewordonthestreet. ca/kitchener.php.) And for those who tired of hopping from one rain shelter to another — or just those who were legitimately interested in all that the festival had to offer — the event included
sit-in presentations from writers and other literary persons throughout the community. Notable speakers included Prof. Christina Jonas, from Conestoga College, who gave a talk on how to get published as a journalist, and a whole panel of “blogging experts” who spoke at length about the relatively new form of literary expression.
Throughout the day musical acts accompanied the interactive exhibition of books and book culture, but the bandstand was somewhat set off from the main tents — an excellent visual reminder that, for one weekend at least, literature reigned supreme. mclark@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Banking on the future of Canadian art Ashley Csanady staff reporter
It’s hard to find a comprehensive showcase of up-and-coming artistic talents from across the country even in major city centres; so, when the RBC Canadian Painting Competition came to the K-W Art Gallery, I was amazed at the depth and breadth of Canadian talents showcased. Even though all the work had to be a painting in some fashion, the variety among the shortlisted works was still amazing. A wide range of techniques, styles and media made each painting unique and memorable for even the average viewer. From minimalist pieces, to large abstract expressionists works to paintings that seemed reminiscent of the Impressionist movement, this show was a representative smorgasbord of the influences the 20th century has brought to 21st century art. RBC began the competition in 1999 with the support of the Canadian Art Foundation. The country is divided into three regions:
Western (Manitoba, Saskatchewan, Alberta, British Columbia, Yukon, Northwest Territories, Nunavut), Central (Ontario) and Eastern (Quebec, Nova Scotia, New Brunswick, PEI, Newfoundland and Labrador). A jury made up of prominent members of the art community from each region selects five semi-finalists and, later, the finalist from each region. A national jury then selects the winner, who receives a $25,000 prize, and two honourable mentions, who receive $15,000 each. All winners will be featured in the Canadian Art magazine and their pieces will be added to RBC’s contemporary art collection. All entrants must be in the first five years of their career, have attended an art institution (or equivalent) and have achieved some kind of previous recognition such as press coverage or exhibition record and they must live and work in Canada. According to their website, RBC states the goal of the competition is “a unique opportunity that aims to foster the innovative vision of Canada’s emerging professional visual artists.”
The fifteen semi-finalist submissions are making only five stops across the country — and K-W was fortunate enough to be one of them. Blooming talents from as far away as Vancouver can get exposure in the Toronto and Montreal art scenes. The exhibit is running at the K-W Art Gallery, located in the Centre in the Square, until Sunday, October 1, 2006. If you get the opportunity, I highly recommend making the trek to Kitchener to check it out. Without being the type of person who constantly has their finger on the pulse of the Canadian art scene, it’s often hard to know who to watch. I can assure you, however, that all of the artists showcased are people to watch. Echoes of the past resonate through many of the works, the artists’ influences often lingering just behind the surface but, by no means, are these works merely rip-offs of whomever the artist admires. When I say I thought often of techniques and styles used by Monet, Bosch or Mondrian, I mean it as a compliment only, not to diminish the originality of the works.
Such an array of styles and methods is rarely present in one room because galleries tend to arrange works by artist or style, so the density alone makes the show worth seeing. With only 15 works, it is a small show, but what it lacks in size, it makes up in resonance. I must admit I was absolutely blown away by a few of the pieces. “Small Town,” by Melanie Rocan, an emerging talent showing out of Winnipeg, is reminiscent of the flashes of memory one has of their early childhood through adolescences. Her collage like images, surrounded by a foggy purgatory, make you feel as though you are actually encroaching on her memories in all its pervasive voyeuristic intentions. An oil on canvas piece, Rocan uses pinks and deep blues to distinguish between early childhood moments and the summer nights of adolescence. Subtle depth provided through Rocan’s use of light and shadow lend a feeling to the painting that you are only glimpsing the still surface of an unfathomable lake. See COMPETITION, page 20
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arts
FRIDAY, september 29, 2006
A rocking night at Starlight lounge Imprint chills with Canadian band You Say Party! We Say Die! at a recent Uptown Waterloo concert Angelo Florendo staff reporter
There’s an exact moment during Steven O’Shea’s dance demonstration where the interview could have ended without the need for more questions. “You have to firmly place your feet on the ground and shake your hips back and forth,” says the You Say Party! We Say Die! bassist while his form-fitting grey jeans try their best to follow along, hugging his knee caps with each pendulum swing. “But then on the beat you throw a gun in the air.” It’s precisely here — index and middle fingers firing psychic bullets towards the Starlight basement’s concrete ceiling — where every preceding question becomes utterly irrelevant. It’s clear the eccentric bass player and his troupe of manic entertainers are all about uninhibited dance parties — however questionable your mode of expression. But to say the performance was simply a lesson in hip gyration would deny half its importance. He’s doing the “Abbotsford dance,” an unofficial jig named after the British Columbian suburb where YSP! started out. It’s a small city that the band describes using only four words: churches, bikes, bridges and booze. “There are lots of churches, and if you’re poor, you ride your bike and you drink 40s under the bridges,” quips drummer Devon Clifford. His mocking depiction and O’Shea’s dance are both humorous yet defiant statements towards a town where dancing can be more about rebellion than joy. “I was in ballet until I was in grade eight, when I went to my first punk rock show,” recounts lead vocalist Becky Ninkovic. “And then I quit ballet.”
Their debut album Hit the Floor, which was released late 2005, is filled with the same mischievous antics, serving as a kind of screaming manifesto for dance-starved youth. Review nods from both New Music Europe and indie-hipster hub Pitchfork have propelled their first album to status of sleeper success while also labelling YSP! as one to watch. But for the band, expectations have never been a driving force. “One thing that hasn’t changed is we’re still really humble,” says O’Shea. “It’s never been, ‘We’d better play Japan or this band is over.’” In early 2005, the modest five-piece simply hoped to play a few shows in Victoria. Since then, they have played all across Canada, toured Europe twice and watched their album crack the national campus radio top 10. It’s their reputation as chaotic performers that has driven enthusiastic fans to advertise by word of mouth to all their friends. On a recent stop at Waterloo’s Starlight Lounge YSP!’s electric display sparked the same kind of response. Providing the backbone of the group’s danceflavoured punk, Clifford’s high hat-heavy drumming alongside O’Shea’s disco basslines (typified by standout track “Moon”) felt like the Bee Gees on fast-forward — instantly danceable but too swift to establish the mythic “groove.” The show had more headbang than hustle. The band’s characteristic call-and-response from Krista Loewen’s keys and Derek Adam’s guitar filled in breakdowns and came in full force when called upon, marred only by the speakers’ constant struggle to keep up with higher volumes.
But it was Ninkovic who stole the spotlight with her incandescent performance. Like singing a lullaby while grinding your teeth, her caressing sustains softened the harshness of her frenzied shrieks. The same contrast was present in her dancing as she twirled and kicked with equal parts intensity and grace — a punk ballerina indeed. Through her shining red mask, she belted lyrics from “The Gap” with machine-gun repetition such as, “The gap between the rich and poor,” making them feel like expletives. Curiously, Ninkovic intermittently moved her mask from over her eyes throughout the set, momentarily exposing her face. The presence of a facial shield was significant — at times it felt like an emotional safeguard rather than a costume. “There are some songs that she’s really not comfortable playing because they’re really personal to her,” says Adam. “We never understand that because we just think of it as a song with words,” a sentiment likely shared by most first-time listeners. But repeated listens highlight the poetry behind tracks like “Love in the New Millennium,” and make it easy to see why Ninkovic
needs her onstage persona to express messages she can’t do as her vulnerable self. Or maybe she just likes to wear a red mask. Part of the charm is that you have no idea. “I don’t think she’s too concerned about the message being lost. She has what she means in her head,” says Loewen. However selfish their lyrical undertones may be, what remains true is that YSP! is a band with brains and brawn, something that critics and fans alike have not missed. Though the gears of the proverbial hype machine have started to turn, YSP! has taken it as a bittersweet blessing. “The thing with hype is that you always get hit in the ass with it,” laments O’Shea. “Like, every band gets hyped at some point.” “Not us,” sarcastically replies Controller. Controller’s Scott Kaija from the next room. Completely forgetting his train of thought, O’Shea stumbles. “You were talking about being hyped,” says Kaija with sustained mockery. “How you guys are the next big thing.” Sometimes insincerity holds more truth than we think. aflorendo@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Competition: First place painting
Courtesy RBC
Hildebrand’s winning entry is on display in the Kitchener-Waterloo Art Gallery. Continued from page 19
The oil on board silk-screen like painting, “Rosemary” by Montreal talent, Nicolas Grenier, is almost photographic like from a distance, but as you walk closer it gets softer and blurrier until it becomes almost indistinguishable. The photo-like image is achieved through Grenier’s study and use of light. If you’ve ever seen the Monet light study through his series of cathedrals, you can understand the way in which light and shadow can be used to create a solid-looking object that, upon closer inspection, is very transparent — Grenier more than achieves this with “Rosemary.” The melancholic portrait of a young girl is beautiful and tragic. Her face hidden in shadow, we wonder if the darkness is hiding her tears, or some dark secret. The winning painting, “Curtains,” an oil on board work by Montreal artist, Dil Hildebrand, is the remnants of a boreal forest being encroached upon by a sea of concrete. A diluted light from perhaps a window in the bottom left corner replaces the natural light present in the forest. The top left corner shows
the literal obliteration of the forest by a literal blob of grey that reminded me of the evil oil spill in Fern Gully. The forest is a literal island in the middle of a sea of concrete, emphasized through Hildebrand’s use of texture on the trees and the floor that seems to class with the smooth concrete in a battle for dominance. A lone isolated tree surrounded by concrete stand dead in the foreground, while the background features the overly manicured lawns and preened bushes of suburban sprawl. The not-so-subtle social commentary, clean lines and a diligent attention to detail make Hildebrand’s “Curtains,” a worthy winner. My one criticism of the show is that the classic Canadian stereotypical environmental painting was selected the winner. While it is an impressive work for a new artist both technically and aesthetically, it seems that the Canadian art scene will remain tied to its roots in nature and the Group of Seven unless influences like this competition start to branch out even a little further. acsanady@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
arts
FRIDAY, september 29, 2006
Scoundrels a lesson in comedy Napoleon Dynamite protagonist makes school of laughter School for Scoundrels Todd Phillips
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Don’t be a prisoner to the chains! Visit Gen X and break free.
MGM Distribution Company, The Weinstein Company
After watching a series of ridiculously pointless movies such as The Illusionloser, Last Kiss…of death, and Lady-should-have-stayed-in-the-Water, it was refreshing to find myself laughing out loud at the latest movie from director Todd Philips. Philips has done it again after bringing us such instant classics as Old School and Road Trip. This movie was so funny I almost got into a car accident driving home and this time it wasn’t because I was drunk. School for Scoundrels is the inspiring tale of Roger (Jon Heder aka Napoleon Dynamite), a young, misunderstood, meter-maid crippled by low self esteem and debilitating panic attacks. The last straw falls when he gets fired from his volunteer job. Just when things can’t get any worse, he gets a lucky break from a guy who claims to be dating two different Asian girls. The secret to the “multi-international dating” is evident at the end of a line of a mysterious phone number. The voice on the other side? None other than Billy Bob Thornton as teacher Dr. P, who promises to show his students how to release their inner lion and of course, get the tit. The most hilarious parts of this movie involve Roger’s fellow class-
Courtesy MGM
Dr. P (Thornton) shoots Roger (Heder) where it hurts. mates and the unorthodox methods of teaching employed by Dr. P. While an interesting plot filled with tennis balls to the groin and heart-warming characters is important, a movie is nothing without hot actors. If you thought Jon Heder was attractive in Napoleon Dynamite, get ready to have your snow boots knocked off. As Roger, Jon Heder is irresistibly adorable as he charmingly befuddles his way into the heart of Amanda (Jacinda Barrett). Jacinda Barrett also brings that little extra something to the big screen:
“Finally! Another hot Australian actor like Nicole Kidman,” said Huu Pham, a fellow movie patron. The always strangely alluring Billy Bob Thornton completes this captivating cast. If you’re looking for a movie that is as educational as it is cinematographically beautiful, you should probably go see something else, but if you’re looking to laugh yourself stupid and be in “the know” of what’s hip and cool with the kids, then go see School for Scoundrels. — Monica Harvey
Hollywoodland fails to intrigue Enigmatic death of Superman actor revealed through bad acting
Courtesy Focus Features
Detective Simo (Adrien Brody) comes across as phony. Hollywoodland Allen Coulter Focus Features
As an individual who is frequently disinterested with his reality, I have a natural tendency to amuse myself by thinking. Along with providing me hours of enjoyment, my curious disposition also compels me to be attracted to mystery and obscurity. It goes without saying that I would be involuntarily drawn to a movie based on the investigation of the mysterious death of George Reeves, the 1950s Superman TV star. Although I love my inquisitive nature most of the time, sometimes it causes me to see movies with unconvincing acting (e.g. Hollywoodland).
Prior to being enlightened, I wrongfully assumed that a film with a cast including such noteworthy actors as Adrien Brody or Ben Affleck would result in a well-told story with convincing roles. I have now seen the light; it is indeed possible for previously demonstrated acting ability to count for nothing. Apart from some of the secondary roles, the two main characters George Reeves and Louis Simo (played by Ben Affleck and Adrien Brody, respectively) came across as very phony and were portrayed poorly. Adding to the mediocrity, Ben Affleck spoke in this annoying, slightly nasal-sounding voice over-enunciated voice. This kind of voice, for reasons unknown, that seems to be associated with the way people talked in that time
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period. The kind of voice that, when used by an actor in an unpersuasive role, inevitably becomes unbearable after only a few lines of dialogue. The film was written by simultaneously telling the story of Reeves’ life just before he died and that of the investigation of his death by Louis Simo, a freelance detective. This unique form of narrative injected a mild dose of interest into the veins of the movie but did little to remedy the bad acting. Hollywoodland wasn’t entirely hopeless. Though I did enjoy the random instances of humour weaved seamlessly into a story including such uproarious topics as alcoholism, depression, corruption and possible suicide, it allowed me to realize that such sensitive topics deserve some sense of humour, no matter how tragic they might appear to be. Implicit sarcasm aside, perhaps we shouldn’t be too serious or sad about a depressed children’s TV show star who might have offed himself years ago (or being murdered). No one truly cares about lives ended abruptly before the ‘60s anyway, right? Maybe I just need to lighten up. Surprisingly, such a disappointing movie did end well. It left you to draw your own conclusions based on the many possible ways George Reeves’ life ended (which was just perfect for a thinker like me). It’s too bad that the rest of the movie wasn’t equally enjoyable or else I might have been able to leave the theatre feeling like I hadn’t wasted a couple hours of my life. — Andrew Abela
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Madina Lake The Disappearance of Adalia The All Blacks B.V.
What pained me most about this album was how much potential I thought it had versus how little satisfaction it actually delivered. The album cover was eye-catching yet it gave me no clues as to the nature of the audio contents, aside from the titles of the disc’s six tracks. Upon consulting the band’s website, the enigma was that this album continued to grow as the group’s history page told the story of a “quiet, sleepy lakeside town” called Madina Lake. This 1950s town seemed quite normal yet it was also “the setting for many strange occurrences, a place where lies, crimes and deceit, are buried by its inhabitants,” or so the story goes. Allegedly, this album is the soundtrack for an odd, fictional town, and I simply thought it was brilliant — the premise, that is, not the album. No, unfortunately I found this album to be quite horrible. This disc is just another serving of the “cliché pop-punk special” straight off the high school cafeteria menu. Yesterday they were serving up blobs of My Chemical Romance, and tomorrow Yellowcard is on schedule to be sitting in those large, greasy vats. On a positive note, this EP is only available at the band’s live shows or online, and thus it is impossible for anyone to accidentally stumble upon this atrocity in a record store and be tricked into purchasing it due to its attractive cover. Keep away from the Lake, folks. Keep away. — Suzanne Gardner
Bob Seger Face The Promise Hideout records; Capitol records
This album is depressing and, man, what a snooze! With all due respect, I was incredibly disappointed with what this boring CD had to offer. It wasn’t the Bob Seger I remember and I don’t think Chevy will be using any of these songs for their commercials. Seger’s simple guitar riffs are oddly contrasted by the existential lyrics in some of the songs. In turn, those existential lyrics are even more bizarre next to songs like “Simplicity” in which, make no mistake about it, “Simplicity it works for me/ I focus on the basic stuff/ and pretty soon I’m coming up on you.” Well, get off me, Bob Seger, because nine songs through I had to take a break, just for a minute, so I wouldn’t kill myself. I’ll tell you what won’t motivate you to write a CD review — a bad album. I put on “Tales of Lucy Blue” off Ramblin’ Gamblin’ Man, an old Seger album (he’s been on the music scene for about 40 years), and asked out loud where this guy had gone. “Old Time Rock and Roll” Bob Seger has become an old-timer who once produced rock and roll but now is instead turning to coutryesque sound and lyrics like “The big boss tells me my work is off/ the wife wants me to come home/ I miss my kids, I miss my dog/ I’ve been spending too much time alone.” If this album were one of his greatest hits, it would be more like “We’ve Got Tonight” — if you know your Bob Seger. Promise also features a duet with Kid Rock called “Real Mean Bottle” and one with Patty Loveless, an American country singer, called “The Answer’s In the Question.”
My questions and answers to you, weary listeners, are “Are you feeling too happy?” and “Do you have trouble sleeping at night?” — Kinga Jakab
Various Artists Radiodread
September 30: Homecoming — University of Waterloo All day — Free September 30: East Asian Festival: Family and Culture Day — Renison College 11 a.m. - 2 p.m. September 30: Apple Schnitzing Bee — Joseph Schneider Haus 10 a.m. to 5 p.m — $2.25, $1.50 senior/student, $1.25 child October 3: Dark Side of Oz — Princess Cinmas 9:15 p.m. — $6 at Turnkey desk
endorse listening to covers first, virgin listeners may very well find Radiodread an excellent reggae album, regardless of its inspiration. If I were a reputable establishment, I’d tell you to buy the album. Since I’m not, feel free to bug me any time for a listen. — Gaelan D’costa
Easy Star Records
Consider OK Computer, the landmark album by Radiohead. Now imagine it redone as a Reggae/Dub album. Now stop laughing. The idea that a record label would do just that smells of either parody or novelty. I tell you that it is neither. The artists involved, such as Horace Andy, Toots & the Maytals or Sugar Minott are well-established reggae artists. Radiodread mirrors OK Computer, copying the original set order while appending extended instrumental versions of “Exit Music (For a Film)” and “Airbag.” Music-wise, the all-stars don’t mess significantly with the structure of the originals. They drastically change every song’s essence, however, as trumpets and a dub groove produce definitive reggae, while maintaining the factors that made Radiohead’s third album a critical juggernaut. My enjoyment of the originals only enhanced the covers, which show great talent and respect for the source material. “Paranoid Android” remains tense despite smoother vocals and slower tempo, while “Electioneering” has moved from jittery to hypnotic. Even “Fitter Happier,” a song consisting of a text-to-speech computer program and ominous piano, is translated appropriately. If you are a Radiohead fan, I highly recommend this album; you will find that it will only enhance your enjoyment of the original. Although I don’t
Chingy Hoodstar Capitol / EMI Records
Chingy’s third album, Hoodstar, is another plain album in the dirty south tradition. I’ve never been particularly fond of this style of beats or lyrics. However, artists like Outkast and Ludacris who originated the sound — and innovated it with creative production and entertaining lyrics in a irresistible head bouncing, playful way — are examples of those who do this style very well. Chingy, on the other hand, is more of an example of what I would imagine causes ear cancer. There has been little rap to come out in recent memory that can really be appreciated. This album does well to add to the flood of poorlyproduced, mindlessly-written rap that gives the genre in general a bad reputation. There are actually two different tracks with the word “air” spelled “aurr” to convey phonetically the word he is actually saying. This is a trend I’ve tried to adopt, but still can’t quite get behind. If I had bought this album, I wouldn’t just want my money back, I’d demand the brain cells lost while suffering this sin against music. There was an effort in at least two of the tracks to write some genuine content. Having one such song follow “Ass in Da Aurr,” however, unless
this track ordering was intentionally done to be ironic, it does take away from any sense of legitimacy. In that case, bravo. — Brendan Pinto
The Early November The Mother, The Mechanic and The Path Drive-thru Records
This three-disc set from New Jersey rockers, The Early November is simply a solid album. The first two disks, The Mother and The Mechanic, feature a unique brand of melody driven, post-emo rock. The third disc, The Path, is a story about a guy telling his psychiatrist a love story with musical interlude mixed in. The story seems lame at first, but it becomes compellingly haunting. Really, it’s just a bonus as the other two discs are full length. My main criticism is one of inadequate vocal timbre. For those of you who have never encountered this term, timbre is basically the distinguishable quality of any given sound. We are able to recognize the difference between a tuba and a trumpet for instance, because the two instruments have distinct timbres. The timbre of lead singer Ace Enders’ voice, while suiting the slower and quieter numbers beautifully, does not increase in intensity enough to match the rest of the band in the heavier songs. His voice is very disciplined, accurate and restrained from the unmistakable emo twang that one could imagine it easily degrading to, although it never does. Some songs require more of a rawness that Enders just doesn’t achieve. That aside, essentially three albums for the price of one is always a good deal. Definitely pick this one up.
October 3: Dandia Dhamaka 2006 — SLC Great Hall 9 p.m. — Watcard required, can rent sticks for $1-3
September 30, October 1 and 3: OktoberBaroqueFest: — Parkminster United Church 8 p.m. (Sept), 3 p.m. (Oct) — Reg $25, Sr $22, St $10 September 30: Colin Mochrie & Brad Sherwood — Centre in the Square 8 p.m. — Price ranges by seats
FRIDAY, september 29, 2006
The Imprint team is listening to... Iron and Wine — “Each Coming Night” The Decembrists — “Mariner’s Revenge Song” Kanye West — “Heard ‘Em Say” Fejd — “Bergakungen” Tim Hecker — “Chimeras” Talib Kweli — “Beautiful Struggle”
October 04: Understanding Western Art — Waterloo School of Architecture 7:30 p.m. — non-members $14, members $12, students $7 October 4: Mind’s Eye Fest: On the Corner — Princess Cinemas 7 p.m. — $6 at Turnkey desk October 5: Meltdown Party — Starlight 9 p.m. — Price not listed (19+) October 5: Improv Show — Theatre on the Edge 8 p.m. — $5 September 30 - October 3: Barefoot in the Park — Theatre and company 2 p.m. and 7:30 p.m. — $10 - 29 depending on time
— Darren Hutz
arts
FRIDAY, september 29, 2006
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You’re not supposed to like it A hipster’s guide to drinking value-brand beer this Homecoming for the sake of your arts-snobby reputation
It’s that time of the year again, dear readers, when the university’s children return to their great mother with open arms as a flood of alumni returning to celebrate Homecoming 2006. I’d like to congratulate the organizers of this year’s festivities for maintaining the intellectual integrity of our school with their plan of events. A literary event, an art exhibition, a former Massey Lecturer to speak and a Canadian indie darling to perform in concert; bravo, I say, bravo! God forbid our noble university would emulate the “Great Satan” down the street and celebrate our pride with a riotous football game, a raucous comedy act and a veritable booze fest! We are students,
after all, not animals! I commend the administration for preventing such embarrassing tomfoolery! All right, perhaps I’m being a bit harsh. It is a time for celebration after all and I suppose I can understand the average student wanting a bit of the old giggle water every now and then. Really, we arts snobs can’t maintain a diet based solely on Spanish coffee and imported fair trade espresso. It just isn’t healthy. Now, I would love to recommend you warm up for the Joel Plaskett Emergency with a nice glass of sherry or a 1961 French Bordeaux, but I realize it simply isn’t realistic. Not all of us can afford to indulge in such refined pleasures. Fortunately, there is a loophole for the poorer student. The modern art snob, it seems, often takes the form of a “hipster,” an urban dweller who worships all things kitsch and lives life by the sword of irony. Despite often being wealthy trust fund kids who’ve convinced their parents to support them while they
attempt to be artists, hipsters dress in thrift store clothes and decorate with dollar store novelties. Through the hipster, that which is old and cheesy becomes a necessity and lower class customs become high fashion. In this ideology the poor art snob finds salvation; suddenly, it is acceptable, even “cool,” to drink value-brand beer. There are, of course, certain requirements to acknowledge. First of all, the beer must be overtly working class, none of this Coors Light or Molson Canadian garbage. Pabst Blue Ribbon is an excellent choice, as is Schlitz and Old Milwaukee. Brands like Red Cap are also attractive due to their quirkily shaped bottle. You’ll never see an alpha male with an inferiority complex carrying one of these things around. The key is to look for a brand that you could imagine sitting around the house of some quarry worker in Sudbury. The label should have the same cheesy design it had when some small-time brewer threw it together 40
years ago. Buy a two-four; if you’ve chosen right, it should be as cheap as a twelve-pack of any other brand. After the first sip, you may gag and ask yourself “Why in the hell am I drinking this horse piss?” At this point, you should remember the advice related by Brooklyn-based TV show “The Burg” (www.theburg.tv): “If you actually like the beer you drink, how is that ironic or funny?” Value-brand beer provides a hip, cheap alternative to the higher quality brands already adopted by footballwatching, Abercrombie-wearing students. Snobbery may often be associated with the finer things in life, but I assure you, it is more about being different than living a life of luxury. Drinking Corona with a lime is not being adventurous. It’s actually probably more trailer trash than PBR. Huh. So does that mean it is cool? Oh dear, hipster rhetoric is quite confusing.
I should also point out that if an arts snob does have the money for expensive beer, it doesn’t give him or her an excuse to buy Stella Artois. Instead, the always open-minded art snob should browse the International section at the LCBO. A particularly passionate friend of mine at the University of Ottawa recommends trying “Bishop’s Finger,” an English beer with a hint of citrus, or “Saison Dupont”, a tasty, unfiltered Belgian beer. He also recommends studying the label on the bottle so you can impress your friends with an acute knowledge of the brewing process. Whether rich or poor, for taste or for fashion, beer is the universally accepted holy water of the university student. We art snobs cannot ignore it. So we’ll do it right. Godspeed this homecoming weekend. cmoffat@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Contemporary psychopathic classic worth a second glance Bret Easton Ellis American Psycho Vintage Contemporaries
This novel is usually referred to as a modern classic, but being published 15 years ago, it has collected some dust. This may have caused our generation to miss it, and without the movie adaptation made in 2000, it might have become obsolete. This is a shame, because even now the content is shockingly relevant. Enter Patrick Bateman, a 26year-old businessman living the luxurious Manhattan lifestyle. He dines at trendy restaurants, wears designer suits and dates beautiful women (while pursuing affairs with many others). As glamorous as it seems to a middle-class reader, we are soon exposed to the monotony that Patrick faces each day as he recounts his routines and observations in painful detail. Deeper into
the novel, the reader becomes aware of an ever-present turbulence within Patrick. When he encounters a bum in an alleyway one night and stabs without provocation, we realise that something is very wrong. Another night, Patrick kills a man and his dog without a thought of guilt. He continues his spree, torturing prostitutes, coworkers, animals and anyone else who catches him in his moments of bloodlust. To us, they are senseless acts of violence. But to him, it is the ultimate escape from a world he does not care about. The novel starts out slowly, even tediously. Composed of several lists and meaningless conversations, I found myself struggling to get through it. Then the killing starts abruptly, and the contrast between Patrick’s normal life and after-hours “hobby” is startling. It was not until halfway through the novel that I fully realized this drastic change and how
much of an impact it had on clarifying the comment Ellis makes on society. I felt enlightened, as well as reimbursed for the time I spent with the slower parts of the novel. Also, Ellis increases the intensity so gradually that there is always suspense, and even though there is no discernable point of climax, the suspense is relieved as the novel ends easing out of the story, just as it began. The novel does require a lengthy, and occasionally, seemingly fruitless time investment. If this would turn you off outright, I absolutely recommend the movie; it does a wonderful job portraying the mundane/insane conflict, even though not to the point of intensity that the novel achieves. In any case, this novel is as important now as it was ten years ago and deserves a presence in today’s society.
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January 15, 2007: Application deadline 170 Research Lane Guelph ON N1G 5E2 www.ouac.on.ca
S cience Spirit and Opportunity optimistic 24
Imprint
Friday, september 29, 2006
science@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Science Editor: Rob Blom Science Assistant: Stephanie Anderson
Mars rover Spirit hibernates as Opportunity reaches new plateau of discovery Rob Blom science editor
Dinh Nguyen staff reporter
When Mars rovers, Spirit and Opportunity, landed on the red planet, scientists predicted that by three month’s time, Martian dust would cover their solar panels and bring an end to their batteries. However, unexpected wind and warmer weather kept dust away and, so far, has powered the rovers for more than 31 months — over 10 times their estimated lifespans. But not without difficulty. Both Spirit and Opportunity are currently standing relatively strong, having lasted well over a full Martian year. Over the past [Earth] years they’ve received numerous software upgrades, including the ability to avoid memory overload and material filtering. The memory software will minimize errors in their memory drive during communication, while the material-filtering software will allow the rovers to differentiate between phenomena that are useful to the scientist — such as dust devils — from uninteresting specimen. This in turn will save on communication time when sending images back to earth. Spirit, who landed on the Gusev crater at 04:35 Ground UTC on January 4, 2004, has taken its toll in malfunctions. Among communication problems and lubrication issues, it has now completely lost functionality of its right front wheel — as electrical current has stopped while adjusting the orientation of its communication antenna. It was a uphill fight as severe weather conditions and the approach of the Martian winter marked danger to the future of Spirit. “The climate is changing rapidly, and we have to put our primary emphasis on keeping the rover safe,” remarked principal investigator and Cornell University geologist Steve Squyres. “Assuring survival has to take priority over science until we’ve got the vehicle on safer ground.” Opportunity, on the other hand, landed in the Meridiani Planum at 05:05 Ground UTC on January 25, 2004, 10 metres from Eagle crater. Opportunity remained there for two months
examining 30 cm rock layers inside the exceptional dark crater. What was there to be found was geological evidence that water had flowed across the Martian surface millions of years ago. However, minerals tested produced extremely high acidic levels. Over the next nine months, Opportunity furthered its research by investigating the Endurance crater. Afterwards, crisis struck, as Opportunity had inadvertently dug itself into a sand dune on its way to Victoria crater. Testing indicated all four corner wheels were dug in by more than a wheel radius. It took the team of scientists and engineers 40 days to slowly inch the rover out, making delicate calculations after centimeters of movement. Further mechanical problems ocurred with Opportunity as its robotic arm began to malfunction on its stopover site at Erebus crater — a large, shallow, partially buried crater — to the much anticipated Victoria crater. Presently, Opportunity has successfully navigated to the rim of the 200-foot impact crater Victoria; the widest and deepest crater it has visited during its two-and-a-half years expedition, and what many scientists consider the “treasure trove” of craters on Mars. Due to its depth, Victoria is one of the most geologically revealing craters on Mars. One hope for scientists is to discover areas with less acidic water flow, unlike the previous mineral test results that took place at Eagle crater. If all goes well, images sent to earth will mark a scientific breakthrough in the history of Mars research. “Reaching Victoria Crater is like finding a Martian history book,” said rover project manager John Callas in the Washington Post. “There are so many more exposed layers than we’ve seen before on Mars, and geologists are very excited about what we might be soon seeing.” The current goal of the operation is to safely gather data. “We want to get as close as we possibly can, but we obviously don’t want the rover to go crashing down into the crater,” said Squyres “Every inch here matters, so we have to be cautious. But we also have to push forward as far as we possibly can.” Spirit and Opportunity are both equipped with a defence system and depth perception
An artist’s concept of a rover on the Martian surface. that allows them to anticipate danger. Eight of their nine cameras are for navigational purposes. Though scientists try to plan cautious paths for the rovers, they are programmed to make the last call. The rovers will automatically stop when proceeding further would put them in harm’s way. While hot days on Mars are beneficial to the rovers’ solar panels, the nights are miraculously harsh (usually 150 degrees below zero Fahrenheit). In order to prevent malfunctioning and overall freezing, Spirit and Opportunity store energy during the day and use electricity to keep them warm at night. Earlier this year, lack of sunlight almost caused Opportunity to freeze. Fortunately, it managed to locate enough energy to survive. Spirit, experiencing the same fate, had safely maneuvered to an incline where more light may be gathered. However, due to the damage of the front wheel, Spirit must now hibernate through the Martian winter.
courtesy Maas Digital LLC
Opportunity, on the other hand, is still free to explore. Though it’s still winter on Mars, the days are getting longer (boosting Opportunity’s exploration time) which bodes well for its upcoming analysis of Victoria crater. On April 8, 2004, after lasting longer than their predicted three months, Spirit and Opportunity were approved for a further exploration mission of five months. When that time expired in September 2004, NASA, still questioning the rovers’ lifespans, extended the mission for another six months. When the end of the mission came in April 2005, the rovers were yet again approved for another exploration mission, which was supposed to last until September 2006. Recently, they’ve been granted an additional year of exploration. The mission extension will be effective as of October 1, 2006. rblom@ imprint.uwaterloo.ca dnguyen@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
courtesy NASA
Mars rover Opportunity lays out the land as it approaches the rim of the much anticipated Victoria crater.
science
FRIDAY, september 29, 2006
25
Researching excellence Exploding star becomes supernova rebel FerrĂŠ. She is also currently recognized as a leading researcher of Afro-Hispanism. Other awards received by Dr. GutiĂŠrrez include the Three faculty members will receive the UW Medal of Honour of the City Bagnères de Award for Excellence in Research this year: Bigorre, in the French Pyrenees, in recognione from arts, one from science and one tion of her international contributions towards from engineering. While many students are fictional and socio-historical literature written unaware of the exciting groundbreaking re- by Latin American female authors in 2004. Dr. search happening right here at the University GutiĂŠrrez has also written five books on Afroof Waterloo, it doesn’t escape the UW Senate Hispanic literature published by top-ranked publishing houses in the both the United States or the Provost. The UW Senate established the Award for and Spain. Robert Gilham is another recipient of the Excellence in Research in 1999 to “recognize distinguished research achievements of UW award for his work in groundwater remediation. The work of Dr. faculty members.â€? The Gillham is internationaward consists of a really recognized and he search grant of $1,500 While many students has been elected as a and acknowledgment at Fellow of the Royal convocation in October. are unaware of the Society of Canada. Dr. The recipients of the award are chosen by a exciting groundbreaking Gilham was inducted a Member of the committee consisting of research happening right as Order of Canada in senior, internationally the same year he was renowned UW researchhere at the University awarded the Queen ers, after being nominatof Waterloo, it doesn’t Elizabeth II Golden ed by their department Jubilee Medal. He also heads. A faculty member escape the UW senate wrote a proposal that can only receive this led to the Canadian award once. or the provost. Water Network, a naThe three winners tional research program this year are Mariela under the Federal NetGutiĂŠrrez from the department of Spanish and Latin American works of Centres of Excellence. Magdy Salama will receive the Award for Studies, Robert Gillham recently retired from the department of earth sciences and Magdy Research in Excellence for his contributions Salama from the department of electrical and to the electrical power energy systems and biomedical engineering fields. In 2002 he computer engineering. Mariela GutiĂŠrrez has been established as was elected a Fellow of the Institute of the world’s leading scholar in Latin-American Electrical and Electronics Engineers and literature, specifically with the works of two is recognized internationally as a pioneer important authors: Lydia Cabrera and Rosario in his field. Monica Harvey reporter
Alice and ADHD medications David Judah reporter
XXX MPPOFZDBMM DB
Most people have probably known a person back in grade school who was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder (ADD) or Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) or were even diagnosed as having one or both the disorders themselves. The most common way to treat the disorder is to use methylphenidate, the key ingredient in drugs such as Ritalin, Focalin, Dexedrine and Concerta, to name a few. At first, these drugs were hailed as the cure for academic woes, helping students with problems focusing in class. Unfortunately the list of side effects of ADHD drugs are drawing attention to their level of safety — and perhaps even to imaginary insects and worms. Already FDA findings have shown that ADHD drugs can cause heart complications that can be as severe as sudden death. In addition to this, drugmakers have been inundated with hundreds of reports of children on their drugs, mainly around the age of 10, who have experienced hallucinations. These hallucina-
tions tend to consist of seeing and feeling snakes, worms and insects. So far, it seems these symptoms desist when use of the drug stops, so for people who see the phantom vermin, a simple change in lifestyle provides an easy escape. The ability of fictional snakes to distract children from their school work has yet to be measured. Currently Health Canada only requires the patient information for ADHD drugs to mention the risk of heart complications. One drug, Strattera, also warns that it may cause suicidal thoughts, a side-effect proven by clinical studies. Currently, none are required to warn potential users of hallucinations, but this is likely to change pending revision by Health Canada. Proponents of the drug claim that when taken in normal amounts, there is not a significant risk of hallucinations and that problems arise from misuse of the drugs. Whether Health Canada’s warning is exaggerated or not, the risks must be considered before one is to be administered the ADHD drug. That goes double for students considering doping on Ritalin to help study for that big final. You know who you are.
courtesy DOE/Lawrence Berkeley National Laboratory
Supernova pictured (left) is before maximum brightness. At maximum brightness (right), the supernova was much brighter than its host. Bianca Sayan reporter
A recently observed supernova is providing more questions than answers for scientists at the Supernova Legacy Survey (SNLS). The supernova, located in a distant galaxy 4 billion years away, has been observed continuously by the SNLS since 2003. Called SNLS-03D3bb, its existence means a reassessment of some widely accepted and displayed theories on supernovas. At first, the problem arises with its classification. SNLS-03D3bb appears to be a type 1a supernova, which are notoriously uniform. They all tend to display almost identical levels of brightness, mass and kinetic energy. This makes them an ideal tool for astronomical observers; they are called ‘standard candles’ because their uniformity allows them to be commonly used as a basis for measuring distances in space. However, SNLS-03D3bb’s characteristics are radically non-standard. It appears to have had double the mass of a proper star prior to becoming a supernova and twice the kinetic energy and brightness after, something scientists have not observed before in a 1a supernova nor believed was plausible. The discrepancy extends into widely accepted processes on the development of a 1a supernova. Typically, at the centre of a 1a supernova is a binary star system consisting of a white dwarf (a small, extremely dense, cool old star) and a red giant. The white dwarf gradually siphons off surface gases from the red giant, accumulating mass. If the mass reaches the Chandrasekhar limit (1.44 solar masses), it triggers a collapse. But instead, the increased density triggers a thermonuclear reaction before the star’s mass reaches the Chandrasekhar limit, causing the star to explode. SNLS-03D3bb, however, was well over the Chandrasekhar limit when it finally went supernova. This is something scientists are still attempting to explain; speculation is plentiful. One explanation suggests that SNLS-03D3bb’s white dwarf might have had a quicker rotation; the extra gravity holding the star together longer while
more mass accumulated. Another explanation could include the merging of two white dwarfs in a binary star system. Whatever the explanation, SNLS-03D3bb’s existence denotes the existence of a superChandrasekhar limit, a limit of greater solar mass allowing for this new specimen of type 1a supernovas. These occurrences are likely to be concentrated in younger galaxies, in which very big stars still exist and double white dwarf binary systems are plentiful. The mystery of the supernova’s brightness was dissected through the white dwarf ’s makeup. As a white dwarf ’s mass and density increase, its makeup of carbon and oxygen are transformed in the thermonuclear reaction to heavier elements, like nickel. Scientists with the SNLS have suggested that greater quantities of nickel would account for the brightness seen in SNLS-03D3bb’s explosion. The greater mass at the point of the thermonuclear explosion released more kinetic energy, which was detectable by the slower-thannormal outward velocity of the explosion. While SNLS-03D3bb is twice as bright as a standard type 1a supernova, it has a unique relationship to standard type 1a supernova patterns of brightness. SNLS-03D3bb’s brightness increases at a slower rate before reaching peak brightness and also decreases at a slower rate afterwards. However, a curve representing the magnitude of brightness is identical to standard type 1a supernova patterns when compressed and the time factor is not accounted for. This is a curious and exciting discovery for the scientists associated with SNLS, whom of which include Andrew Howell and Mark Sullivan from the University of Toronto. Several members from SNLS have authored a paper on SNLS-03D3bb to be published in the September 21 issue of Nature. Beyond simply an observation of a supernova in motion (which is useful enough by itself) SNLS03D3bb has stimulated the exploration of more varieties and deviations of standard supernova models, answered and posed more questions about the type 1a supernova model and challenged some cornerstone theories about supernovas.
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science
26
Is Nalgene all that green?
We see them everywhere. At one time they were chiefly associated with tree-hugging hippies, but now they have become such a craze that it seems like everyone has a Nalgene. The marketers of these popular water bottles are definitely good because the product has undoubtedly become a campus staple. For some, they are extensions of their identity, covered with stickers and political quotes. Some girls seem to have a different coloured bottle for every outfit! But is this a trend that should continue? Just how environmentally friendly is your Nalgene bottle? Firstly, the process in which they are manufactured is resourceintensive and yields various nasty emissions that contribute to global warming and the degradation of water quality. Nalgene bottles are also made from non-renewable resources, and for all intents and purposes never biodegrade. Secondly, most Nalgene bottles are made of number seven polycarbonate plastics or “Lexan.” Since polycarbonate bottles don’t impart a taste to fluids, many assume they are safer than bottles made out of other kinds of plastic. But new
scientific research has cast doubt on their safety. Lexan polycarbonate plastics contain an ingredient called bisphenol-A (BPA). According to Patricia Hunt, a geneticist at Case Western Reserve University in Ohio, BPA is an endocrine disruptor that mimics estrogen and causes hormone-related problems such as premature puberty and obesity. It can also be related to breast cancer, miscarriages, birth defects and enlarged prostate glands, to name a few. According to reports, BPA leeching is more likely to occur when washed at high temperatures (such as in a dishwasher), with strong washing solutions or when placed in the sun. However, general wear and tear will break down your plastic bottle and the older the bottles are, the worse the leeching gets. So, if some of you decide to stop using your once beloved Nalgene, before you recycle it, reuse it. Recycling still had an impact on the environment and an unbreakable, waterproof container will certainly be useful somehow. With these revelations, are you comfortable continuing to use your Nalgene bottle? Is it still a better option than purchasing bottled water? In Canada, we have the luxury of clean tap water that comes from energy-efficient infrastructures. Sadly, billions of people are not as fortunate. Despite the tie with purity and cleanliness, the amount
of oil needed to manufacture and ship water in plastic bottles should outweigh your decision to purchase yet another case of Aberfoyle Springs. In most situations, you do not even need a virtually indestructible plastic water container. If you’re at a desk, or in the kitchen, or even at spinning class, glass or ceramic vessels are fine. Another option is an aluminum canteen. To be most sustainable, biodegradable choices are always best. These include leather wine skins (to give you that romantic Italian flair), or even something as natural as a dried out gourd with a cork, which can work too. I’m not aiming to demonize the Nalgene bottle (although there is the recurring rumor that their parent company Nalge Nunc dabbles in animal testing); I’m merely using it as an example of something we think is so necessary and environmentally friendly, yet which, in reality, truly isn’t. I want to emphasize that we must continue to examine our current practices and strive to become increasingly sustainable in every aspect of our life. Don’t even get me started on the battery-powered toothbrush craze. If you own one, please make it your last. If you don’t, a traditional forearm-powered toothbrush works quite well without the horrible heavy metalfilled Duracell ‘coppertop.’ tgarland@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
FRIDAY, september 29, 2006
Is there anything that sleep cannot do? her weight. The girl was 20 kilograms overweight and surprisingly so. She was more active than the average kid, This could be the best case scenario her parents were at healthy weights for for everyone. The moment in history people their age and size, and at school when science provides the public with she ate nutritious lunches packed from a conclusion that puts a smile on ev- home. The only unusual aspect of her eryone’s face: lose weight by increasing routine was she tended to stay up late sleep. Although the theory is still in the reading or watching TV. Her physician had heard about development stage, and requires much more scientific investigation to come research into the connection between close to clinical practice, it’s nice to see sleep habits and the body’s weight management, and so recommended what is possible on the horizon. At first glance, this theory sounds the girl try increase the time she spent sleeping. A month like something pulled later, she came back from a fashion magazine or a late night I mean really late and had begun to lose weight as well infomercial — and I mean really late night, night, way past as lose her craving for junk food. way past the Chuck However, this is Norris Total Gym the Chuck Norris an isolated case, and stuff. Two places you Total Gym stuff could be a fluke. But wouldn’t expect to researchers are trying find credible scientific to discover if sleepnews. But it’s not; it ing will increase weight loss in the actually comes from the 21 issue of general public. Studies are currently Nature. It takes a while to fully digest the being conducted to see whether sleep power of this theory. What its saying deprived people increase their food is: instead of going to the gym every consumption, or if there are other other night, you could simply head factors involved, including a change to bed an hour or two earlier and in the body’s metabolism. Even if the science doesn’t come accomplish the same goal. That’s going to need some tough science to through to back up this finding, I’ve prove, and that’s exactly what nutrition finally gotten an answer to why I take so many naps.: I’m watching my weight. researchers are doing now. It all started with a 12-year-old girl fnaqib@imprint.uwaterloo.ca visiting her physician and asking about Faisal Naqib
staff reporter
Classifieds Campus Bulletin HELP WANTED
HOUSING
Weekend counsellors and relief staff to work in homes for individuals with developmental challenges. Minimum eight-month commitment. Paid positions. Send resume to Don Mader, K-W Habilitation Services, 108 Sydney Street, Kitchener, ON, N2G 3V2. Imprint requires a marketing sales assistant to aid the advertising/production manager in contacting clients, updating data bases and other office duties on a weekly basis. This position is open to full-time undergraduate University of Waterloo students who qualify for the workstudy program (OSAP recipients and registered in a minimum 60 per cent course load). If this position appeals to you, please e-mail resume to ads@imprint.uwaterloo.ca or bring them to the Imprint office, SLC room 1116 during office hours.
Premium three-bedroom townhouse unit in a professionally managed student complex. Perfect for students, close to UW campus. Available May and September 2006. Call Perry now at 519-746-1411 for all the details and to set up a showing. Ask us about your signing bonus and gifts! Attention Cambridge School of Architecture students! Live conveniently and comfortably right across the street from school in this beautifully renovated apartment. Four, eight and 12-month leases available with excellent signing bonuses and rental incentives! Call Perry at 519746-1411 for more details.
TUTOR Improve your English! Certified ESL instructor available for one-onone tutoring. All skill areas. Experience teaching in Canada, Europe and China. Contact for rates. E-mail: esltutoring2001@hotmail.com or call 519-505-4297.
SERVICES Proofreading – editing: Assignments, theses, letters, statements. We correct grammar and improve logic and flow. Onscreen, fast, professional. 30 years experience. Full details at www. checkedit.com. E-mail checkedit@ cogeco.ca. Phone (905) 335-3192. J&A Airbrush, 84 Queen Street, S., Kitchener, 519-342-3147 or www.jandaairbrush.com. We paint anything on everything!
VOLUNTEER Help shape YOUR student newspaper’s future. Imprint is looking for volunteers to help survey our next Editor-in-Chief. If interested e-mail Jeff Anstett at president@imprint. uwaterloo.ca. Volunteer assistance needed – Waterloo family is looking for enthusiastic, energetic people who are great with kids. We are running an intensive home-based program to help our lovable 4-year-old autistic son recover. If you are accepting, playful, reliable, fun and able to volunteer four hours per week, please call Nancy at 519-725-8255. No experience is required – training is provided by our autism specialist.. The Kitchener-Waterloo-Guelph chapter of the Canadian Association for Girls in Science (CAGIS) is looking for volunteers to help plan, run events, etc. For more info email ajung.cagis@gmail.com. Thinking of going into the teaching profession? Volunteer tutors needed for adult high school credits - math,
English, science, computers. Call the Open Door Centre (WRDSB), 108 University Ave., W., Waterloo, 519885-0800, ext. 205. Volunteer Action Centre recruitment – “Be a companion to a person with alzheimers disease.”: next training is October 24 from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Contact Jill at 519-742-1422 or e-mail volunteer @alzheimerkw. com. “Enhance the quality of life for someone with mental health issues”: training and support provided. Call Carmen at 519-744-7645, ext 229 or abelc@cmhawrb.on.ca. “The Thanksgiving Food Drive is coming”: drivers and warehouse helpers are needed. Call 519-5576 ext 226 or email roset@thefoodbank.ca. “UNICEF is inviting event volunteers out to a Monster Mash”: volunteers are needed for concession, sales, etc. on Oct 28 and 29. Call Delia at 519772-5437 after 5 p.m. or info@familyfundays.ca. “Freeport Health Centre needs volunteers”: Volunteer info session on October 3 from 2 to 4:30 p.m. Call 519-749-7147 or e-mail pam.miller@grhosp.on.ca. “Answering the phone in the ambiance of an art gallery sounds enchanting”: along with registration, attendance, greeting, etc. For info call Kate at 519748-4377 or e-mail development@ homerwatson.on.ca.
ONGOING
Common and unique technology – every Saturday 7 a.m. to 2 p.m. Kitchener’s Saturday Market, main floor above food vendors, free parking! www.eq-trm.com.
CHURCH SERVICE
St. Bede’s chapel at Renison College offers worship on Sundays at 10:30 a.m. or take a break mid-week with a brief silence followed by Celtic noon prayers on Wednesdays. For more info call 519-884-4404, ext 28604 or
mcolling@renison.uwaterloo.ca.
ANNOUNCEMENTS
Nominations are requested for one graduate student to be elected by/ from the full and part-time graduate students of the University, term to April 30, 2008. Completed nomination form (each nomination must be signed by at least five members of the constituency from which the member is to be elected) should be submitted to the Secretariat, Needles Hall, room 3060, no later than 3 p.m., Tuesday, October 10, 2006. Hey students! Tune in weekly to “Morning Drive” with DJ Cool at CKMS 100.3FM for important info on what is happening locally, on campus and in your area. Music, fun and more – morningdrive1@yahoo.ca.
UPCOMING
Friday, Septmber 29, 2006 Relay for Life – Waterloo Park, Canadian Cancer Society, 7 p.m. (Sept. 29-30) Twelve hour all night noncompetitve walk. For more info and to sign up to participate or volunteer call 519-886-8888 or www.cancer.ca. Saturday, September 30, 2006 Amanda’s Cruise for Juvenile Arthirits will take place for the second year at noon in Cambridge at Shade’s Mills Conservation Area. BBQ, draws, prizes, music - lots of fun!! For info call 519-576-8764 or acja@rogers.com. UW Homecoming 2006 – many events to attend, such as Warriors football team vs WLU, ES amazing race, Impact UW Expo, East Asian Festival, Homefest at Bomber, Conrad Grebel Fall Fair, etc. For more info: http://homecoming.uwaterloo. ca ... something for everyone! Toronto Music Expo – September 30 and Oct 1 at the International Centre in Mississauga. Music per-
formances, seminars, workshops and more! Check out www.torontomusicexpo.com. Wednesday, October 11, 2006 Work/study abroad (WSANet) Fair at UW – 8th annual WSANet International Opportunities Fair will be held in the Great Hall, SLC from 11 a.m. to 3 p.m. For more info on this event and current exchange programs call Maria at ext 33999 or mlango@ uwaterloo.ca. Sunday, October 15, 2006 UW Fun Run – UW North Campus at 2 p.m. Registration begins September 18 to October 11 at the PAC office and at Runner’s Choice (King and University.) Come out to support the UW Varsity Cross Country Team as well as the Canadian Athletes Now Fund. For info email www. canadianathletesnow.ca.
SERVICES
i-TUTOR is a FREE student resource. We encourage learning and promote education within Ontario. Tutors are university students who are independent of this organization and have their own rate. http://www. i-tutor.ca.
FINANCIAL AID
October 2006 October 4: OSAP application deadline (full funding) for fall only applications. Deadline to submit signature pages and supporting doucmentation. October 15: last day to submit Undergraduate Bursary Applicatijons for fall only term. October 19: OSAP application deadline (full funding) October 27: deadline for OSAP reviews. October 30: last day to submit www.safa.uwaterloo.ca/forms. html#bursaryforms>undergraduate bursary applications for fall and winter term. For further info check the website at www.safa.uwaterloo.ca.
science
FRIDAY, september 29, 2006
The top five scientific pranks that rocked the world
Johann Beringer Stephanie Anderson assistant science editor
1. But it’s so simple!
In 1989, Stanley Pons and Martin Fleischmann announced to the world that they had single-handedly discovered cold fusion. Cold fusion is the process by which nuclei are fused at room temperature under normal pressure. Scientists were right to be skeptical that Pons and Fleischmann had achieved such a complicated process in the simple set-up they set out to publish in Nature. Shortly before the publication date, the paper was withdrawn without explanation. There is no knowledge today of the procedure they used and no one has been able to replicate the results. 2. A test of faith
Dr. Johann Beringer (1664) believed that fossils of prehistoric life were “capricious fabrications of God,” and he felt they were present on earth only to test man’s faith. Fellow scientists of the time buried fake fossils of moons, stars and other life forms in a mean-spirited attempt to trick Beringer. Before he had the opportunity to uncover the tablet with his own name inscribed, he had published a best-selling novel on the subject – Lithographia Wirceburgensis.
27
The battle for your desktop Michael Jackson asked the same question many years ago: black or white? I guess it was in a different context. Today, a lot of us say that we hate Microsoft’s upcoming edition of Windows, Vista, because its graphic-intensive structure makes its performance slow and its demand on hardware requirements high. Yet a lot of us have spent hours looking for the perfect Mac transformation theme. A lot of people at UW use Macs instead of XP. It’s not as if we still use Windows NT or other downtrodden software. We have this need to stay upgraded. But now there’s a fork in the road: Mac or Windows? Until today, it was simple: Windows! You can get illegal software for it, fix any glitches, the once much-feared Registry Editor has become more comfortable and the “Blue Screen of Death” is actually expected. Then what makes this decision so hard at this point? Well, for those of you planning on upgrading in the new year and deciding between a Mac and a PC, here’s the comparison. Whatever Microsoft is coming out with in Vista, Apple had many years ago with what is today known as Mac OS X Tiger. Windows’ Vista looks nicer and is almost completely black in comparison to Windows XP’s bright refreshing colours. It’s also the complete opposite of Mac OS X’s white coloured theme. Then we have “Spotlight,” a
courtesy Macintosh
The Mac’s “Spotlight” (pictured above) which was introduced in an update of Panther. For Windows comparison, see page 28. search tool that Apple incorporated since an update of Panther. Something strangely similar lies in Vista as a part of the search tool. Mac’s Spotlight lies on the top right by default, but our Windows creators, believe in innovation and a completely redefining experience. They put their Spotlight (a.k.a. search) on the bottom left. Then there’s the Windows Calendar. For people whose lives revolve around Outlook, Windows Calendar is a new utility to help you waste more time. iCal on the other hand, came out years before and once again, the innovators that have ruled the industry until just a little while ago provided us with the exact same interface — and so that we don’t miss iCal, the same colour scheme too. Microsoft refuses to help us install OS X on a PC using an emulator like Boot Camp, even though a majority of the geeks
have already done it. But Apple is confident enough of its software’s power to engross the user and lets you install Windows on a Mac. Go to CampusTech if you don’t believe it. For the geeks, Mac OS X comes with fully functional 64-bit software that works, unlike Windows, where a lot of the 64-bit software is still fairly non-existent. Now, with the even flashier stuff, we have Dashboard and Widgets. Tiger had them, once again, years ago and have now developed them to the extent. By the time Vista comes out and the new hot-fixes are downloaded and installed, Mac OS Leopard will be out where everyone can make their own widgets — custom made to their preference. But yes, Vista does come with its own version of borderline-sad widgets. See VISTA, page 28
3. Prank of giant proportions
George Hull became frustrated with a clergyman who asserted that giants once walked the earth — as the Bible stated it was so. Hull decided to trick the clergyman by burying a fake fossil of a giant in a nearby farm. He then sent well-diggers to the site to make the discovery. Many skeptics saw the replica for what it was — on the other hand, two Yale professors fell for the gag. Eventually, Hull admitted his part in the prank. 4. With a little imagination…
Jan Hendrik Schön put 40 years, and a little imagination, into his work with nanoelectronics at Bell Laboratories. His results were astounding — especially his ability to reproduce two identical sets of results for two completely unrelated topics. In two separate papers he had used the same graph to relate different concepts. And to think — he was considered for a Nobel Prize that year. 5. Frequency locator a little empty
The Quadro QRS 250G was an impressive invention sold to a large client base for a modest $1,000. The Quadro Corporation marketed the small, plastic box as a frequency locator that could use static electricity to search for items at the resonance equal to that of the items. The FBI launched an investigation of these claims, and upon opening the plastic box found it to be completely empty. Quadro attempted to pass the blame to its manufacturers, Sandia Laboratories, until it realized it wasn’t a battle to be won. sanderson@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
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science
28
Stephanie Anderson assistant science editor
Brendan Pinto staff reporter
In mind, out of body
Researchers in Switzerland recently stumbled across the part of the brain responsible for out of body experiences. This discovery suggests that the region involved with illusory bodily perception may be responsible for OBEs. Neurologist Olaf Blanke working with colleagues at the University Hospitals of Geneva and Lausanne accidentally discovered the phenomena while attempting to locate the source of the 43-year-old patient’s seizures. Using electrodes to stimulate the brain directly researchers came to the right angular gyrus at which point the patient reported the sensation of floating above the bed, seeing herself lying below. In addition to this, she reported distorted perceptions of the position of her arms and legs. The angular gyrus have also been determined to be involved with the
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experience of phantom limbs after amputation. Scientists believe that this may be part of a larger neural circuit. Discoveries like this hint at a bigger picture that may eventually explain a variety of phenomena ranging from not only OBEs, but alien abductions and other paranormal claims. Need a cure for cancer? Look no further than your spice rack…
Tumeric — a spice used in traditional Indian medicine — has been found to fight tumor cells in the lab. The active ingredient curcumin is already being used in human clinical trials. Researchers at the University of Texas Medical Branch at Galveston claim that curcumin has been found to block neuotensin, a gastrointestinal hormone which is responsible for the growth and spread of cancer cells. Prof. B. Mark Evers has “found that in colon cancer cells, neurotensin increases not just the rate of growth but also other critical things, including cell migration and metastasis.” According to Statistics Canada, colon cancer is the 4th deadliest cancer in the country with approximately 8,500 deaths in 2006. Proof that adaptation isn’t perfect
A population of crickets in Hawaii has grown silent. In a short five-year span, the crickets have grown to have wings which cannot chirp. The reason? To avoid predation by a parasitic fly that would use the calls as an easy locator for dinner. There are dire consequences to this change as crickets use their calls to locate mates. But it appears that the species hasn’t started a decline just yet. The silent males locate themselves beside males who are producing chirps and attempt to intercept females on the way to the caller. So what’s to come? The flies which rely on the crickets may disappear and the crickets themselves may come to an untimely end. Maybe within the next five years they will reach a stable coexistence. No one is sure, but University of Toronto’s Darryl Gwynne says he’s waiting “with bated breath to see what evolution is going to give us.”
FRIDAY, september 29, 2006
Fish to help in fight against terror
The common bluegills found in the US are helping the fight against terror. They are serving as an early warning system for water contamination. The bluegills respond easily to toxins by “coughing” and flexing their gills to release the contaminant. This signal is then sent through a “fish” phone or e-mail to the Intelligent Automation Corporation in San Diego. This system of detection was developed after the bluegills reacted quickly to an oil spill long before the Department of Environmental Protection. Although this system isn’t foolproof, Bill Lawler, co-founder of the system says “it’s like an early warning system — it acts as another line of defence.” Immortal seeds breathe new life
Scientists from the Millennium Seed Bank have induced seeds over 200years old to germinate. These seeds represent three types of legumes: a Liparia villosa and two unidentified species of protea and acacia. Matt Daws, a seed ecologist with the Millennium Seed Bank, reports: “They had been kept under pretty poor conditions.” In 1803, Prussian Jan Teerlink carried the seeds in a notebook aboard a ship from China to Europe. His ship was captured by the British navy on his return voyage — all his possessions were commandeered, passed to the High Court of Admiralty and finally contained in the Tower of London were they were discovered decades later. When the plants have matured, scientists hope to perform genetic analyses to determine how these species have evolved to modern day standards. Archaic birds soar using all fours
Scientists believe that primitive birds have always followed the “ground up” theory of flight. They began by running on the ground and would create a lift potential that would al-
courtesy Kim Jinsuk
New insights into Archaeopteryx lithographica fossils reveal what might be a “tree down” approach of flying. low them to fly. PhD student Nick Longrich argues that the “trees down” hypothesis is more likely. Fossil evidence suggests that the earliest ancestors of modern-day birds soared from the tree-tops instead — with feathers used for flight on all four limbs. “The idea of a multi-winged Archaeopteryx has been around for more than a century, but it hasn’t received much attention,” say Longrich. “I believe one reason for this is that people tend to see what they want or expect to see. Everybody knows that birds don’t have four wings, so we overlooked them even when they were right under our noses.” Roll-up and go computer screens
Engineers from Cambridge University are in the process of creating a computer screen which can be rolled
up and carried in a small briefcase. This technology is possible because of organic light-emitting diodes (OLED) which do not require back-lighting and allow for a much thinner, efficient system. Keith Seffen, a key developer of the roll-up computer screen says that he and his colleagues “realized the electronics industry is interested in developing fold-up screens and our technology would allow those screens to snap open to form a solid structure. The structures have “mechanical memory,” so can be snapped open and shut a huge number of times.” In 2002 there were reports by Cambridge Display Technology that roll-up computer screens would be on the market in 2005 and reach a whopping $2.5 billion revenue by 2007. – With files from EurekAlert, BBC News UK, AAAS and M&C News sanderson@imprint.uwaterloo.ca bpinto@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
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Continued from page 27
Like in every high-school English class, themes play a very big factor. Tiger came out with the revolutionary “Aqua” theme and apparently Vista has a revolutionary theme called ‘Aero’. Both are four characters long, and apart from the colour and their default application locations on the screen they are no different. Which brings me to my decision: Mac has better software, a better theme, faster boot times, a built in webcam, a better calendar, a more powerful search engine, no viruses (yet), healthy 64-bit software and also installs Microsoft’s Office Suite of Software. I have installed it on my PC and experienced a four second boot time on a P4 2.4 without hyperthreading, but I still pick Windows — until March, when Mac OS Leopard comes out. I know it inside-out. I know what is where, I know how it works, I’ve compiled
Windows Vista equivalent to Mac’s “Spotlight.” versions of it at co-op jobs, I can fix most errors with it and finally and most importantly, if something goes wrong hardware-wise, I’m just
courtesy Windows
more comfortable ripping open a PC. Even it is a laptop. —Gautam Khanna
30
Sports Imprint
Last leap lifts UW over Queen’s
assistant sports editor
Imprint sat down with Warriors’ quarterback Jon Morbey to discuss the last-minute drive that led Waterloo to a 14-13 victory over Queen’s on September 23.
Shawn Bell assistant sports editor
With quarterback Jon Morbey’s last-second leap into the endzone, the Waterloo Warriors stunned Queen’s Golden Gaels 14-13 September 23 at University Stadium. Morbey’s leap capped a last-minute comeback drive that started on the Warrior 34-yard line, with no-time outs and 55 seconds on the clock. The Warriors marched down the field, and after Queen’s got flagged for pass-interference with no time on the clock, Waterloo set up one more play — Morbey’s quarterback sneak from the one-yard line for the win. The victory puts the Warriors at 2-2 on the season, tied with Queens and Western in the battle for the final two playoff spots. “The kids have really turned it up,” said Coach Bingeman, now 2-0 since taking over the head coaching job. “They’re starting to believe in each other — starting to realize the talent we have on this team.” “It was a dominating performance by our defence,” Morbey said. “They shut down one of the most prolific offences in the league.” Queen’s quarterback Branigan was held to 158 yards in the air, and as a team the Gaels were held to 78 yards on the ground. For the Warriors, Morbey was 15-29, with one touchdown and no interceptions. Sean Cowie caught six passes for 54 yards. On the ground, Morbey ran for 117 yards, including the gamewinning touchdown, and Travis Gellatly led the halfbacks, rushing for 70 yards on 15 carries. “As an offence, we have more in us than what we’ve shown,” Coach Bingeman said. “The receivers have to start catching balls. We have to stop taking dumb penalties in bad situations.” “[The dropped balls] are a concern,” Morbey said. “Thankfully, the O-Line picked up the receivers and we were able to run the ball well.” “I wouldn’t trade our O-Line right now for anyone in the league,” Bingeman said. “Behind them I have great faith in our ability to grind out a good performance against any team.”
Fantasy fix Brody Hohman staff reporter
Fantasy Fix is the place to get current fantasy information. On a weekly basis I’ll tell you who’s hot and who’s not in the fantasy sports world. I’ll even answer your questions at sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca. This week it’s an NHL draft preview. I’ll breakdown which players are due for a breakout year, which could fly under the radar and which rookies to keep an eye on this year. BREAKTHROUGHS - Alexander Frolov (lw) LA- Most expected it last year, but we’ll take it this year. Mark Bell (lw) SJ- I think Joe Thornton helped the parking lot attendant patch up his marriage last year.
Waterloo’s option-heavy offence scored one touchdown on a roll-out pass from Morbey to Ryan Felhaber in the second quarter. They had another touchdown, this time a 40 yard Morbey run, called back on a holding penalty right at the half. When they ran off the field at half time up 7-6, these Warriors looked like they knew they could win. The rain was pouring at that time. The crowd huddled under the stands. I heard a few people say, “We can’t leave now, I’ve never seen them win.” In the third quarter, with all the rain, the offenses ground right down. The only points came off the foot of Waterloo’s punter, Jason Cook, on his first field goal attempt of the season, that missed and was downed in the endzone for one point. For most of the fourth quarter the rain slowed. The offences picked up but could not score. The score was still 8-6 Waterloo with two minutes to play when the rain came again. The Warrior bench was excited as if they had won. But Queen’s broke loose for the first time in the second half with a 40-yard pass down to the Waterloo two-yard line; two plays later, they punched in their only touchdown to make it 13-8 Queen’s and set up Morbey’s last-minute heroics. “The guys think we can run the table,” Coach Bingeman said, “but our goal right from the start of the season was the playoffs. Now we need two wins in four games to reach our goal.” Game 5 is the battle of Waterloo versus last year’s Yates Cup champion the Laurier Golden Hawks. “Laurier will be a stiff test for us,’ Bingeman said, “but our guys know now we can play with anyone in the league.” “The Laurier team we’ve played in the past is not the Laurier team this year,” Morbey said. “But until somebody knocks them off, Laurier’s still the national champion.” Game time is Saturday, 2:00 p.m., at University Stadium. sbell@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Nikolai Zherdev (rw) CBJ- Building on a strong second half and playing an more all-around, less selfish style could lead to a huge season. There’s a ton of talent here. Others- Ryan Getzlaf (Ana), Jordan Leopold (Col),`Jay Bouwmeester (Fla), Cam Ward (Car), Dan Hamhuis (Nas), Vesa Toskala (SJ) SLEEPERS - Colby Armstrong (rw) PIT- 40 points in 47 is a good thing. Jussi Jokinen (lw) DAL- The shootout king is also an exceptional playmaker Alexander Steen (lw) TOR- Speedy, talented winger on a rising Leafs offence. OTHERS - Niklas Kronwall (Det), Ryan Whitney (Pit), Keith Ballard (Pho), Christian Ehrhoff (SJ), Ray Emery (Ott), Kari Lehtonen (Atl), Freddy Meyer (Phi) TOP ROOKIES - Evgeni Malkin (Pit), Alexander Radulov (Nas), Wojtek Wolski (Col), Gilbert Brule (CBJ), Dustin Penner (Ana), Hannu Toivonen (Bos), Robbie Schremp (Edm), Anze Kopitar (LA)
sports@imprint.uwaterloo.ca Sports Editor: Vacant Sports Assistant: Shawn Bell
A special thanks to Doug Copping
Game winning TD in words of QB Shawn Bell
Simona Cherler
Friday, september 29, 2006
The scoreboard reads 13–8 for Queen’s as the Warrior offence runs onto the field, with quarterback Jon Morbey walking calmly behind them. With 55 seconds to play, zero time-outs and the ball on their own 34-yard line, the Warriors need a touchdown to win. The fans under umbrellas are on their feet, stomping; the Waterloo defence, in all-black, stand down the sidelines shouting; the Queen’s defence, in all-yellow, line up on one knee in their 4-3 defence on the field. Morbey: I talked to the coaches before going onto the field. We had no time-outs. We were going to be in hurry up offence, so I had to call plays from the line. The Warriors break huddle. Morbey moves into the I with the halfbacks close behind. He takes the snap, drops into the pocket and overthrows the slant receiver. Second down. Morbey takes the snap, drops into the pocket and throws to the sideline. Incomplete. The ref throws a flag. “Pass Interference against Queen’s.” When we got that pass interference call, after that we were pretty confident we knew what we wanted to do. It was quick — get to the ball, let’s get this play executed and let’s get to the next one. Waterloo moves to their 46-yard line with 46 seconds left. First down, Morbey takes the snap, fakes the short handoff and turns to run. Queen’s anticipates; the defence pounds the quarterback for a short loss. Second down, Morbey throws across the field to Darren Shock, complete for 11 yards and the first down across midfield. We got that one good catch, got across midfield; then we were looking to take a shot. Thirty seconds left. First down, Morbey drops into the pocket, the offensive line fights for time; Morbey throws to the Queen’s sidelines; Sean Cowie catches then battles to get out of bounds to stop the clock. That was a big play, getting out of bounds. Not only that but he fought that defender off and then got out of bounds. Twenty-three seconds left, second and one from the Queen’s side of midfield. Morbey takes the snap, steps back and throws a bomb over the middle. On the ground Dustin Zender sprints down the middle of the field, a yellow jersey one step behind; Zender crosses the ten — the ball’s almost down — Zender stretches out, the ball lands in his hands and he’s knocked down from behind, at the two-yard line; first down Waterloo, 16 seconds left.
We knew they would play cover three cover four; you know the seams in cover three are always exposed, so I thought if we could get someone into that second level than that window would be there. I wasn’t watching [Zender], I was looking off the safety on the short read to begin with, and then because the time was there I was able to come back and see that he’d gotten behind his man. I knew then it was going to be about this throw, I tried to place it just right. The offence runs up the field, Morbey’s in the middle with his hands pointing all ways. They get down and set up fast. The chains have to reset, the refs have to reset the ball and get everything ready to go before they can restart the clock. We knew that, and then when we got down Queens called a timeout and gave us a chance to regain our thoughts and figure out what we wanted to do. There was a lot of excitement, in the huddle and on the bench, when I went over to the coaching staff I was trying to keep people composed, focused on the job at hand. I knew it wasn’t done yet; we had to keep pressing on. First and goal from the two-yard line with 16 seconds on the clock. Morbey takes the snap, turns to his left, fakes the short handoff to the halfback then turns to his right and takes off running. The yellow jersey hits him like a freight train. Sack for Queen’s. Six yard loss. You know sometimes you have the right defence called for the right play. We took a bit of a loss on that one. Second down and goal from the seven. Now the Warriors are shooting for the end zone. There are 12 seconds left. We took a shot at a fade, on our outside number one receiver Zender. He got off the line well, got around his man, it just seemed as though he couldn’t come down with the ball. Pass incomplete. Two seconds left on the clock. Third and goal from the seven. The Warriors line up three receivers wide. The ‘Gaels are in their 4-3 defence. Morbey takes the snap and drops back, in the end zone there is good coverage, the clock clicks down to zero; Morbey turns to his right, lobs a high arc to the right corner for Zender. That play changed on the go because of coverage, so we tried to put the ball over the top, to Zender again, his defender pushed him out as he tried to get around him, and held onto him. The ball is thrown short and Zender comes back for it; the Queen’s corner grabs hold on his jersey, Zender dives, the ball hits the ground, the ref throws a flag, “Pass Interference on Queen’s.” I could tell when I threw the ball; I knew it was in the right area for him to come down with. But as the ball came down the defender was really holding him, preventing him from getting to it, so I assumed the flag was going to be called at that point. See WORDS, page 31
Richard Shih
The Warriors victory walk. If you build it, they will come.
sports Campus Rec: Field hockey renaissance Not the NHL
31
FRIDAY, september 29, 2006
Steve Utz
staff reporter
The Campus Rec ice hockey season is underway and I have a new team. We’re called Smooth Liquid Thunder, we play in the intermediate league, and after one game we’re undefeated — well on our way to the championship game. Campus Rec hockey is not the NHL. Nor is it varsity hockey, although the games are played at Columbia Lake Ice Field, where Waterloo Warrior banners hang from the rafters and the dressing rooms have “Warrior Hockey” stenciled on the doors. Campus Rec is hockey at its most primitive. Amateurs in patched equipment wobble around on their ankles, crashing into boards and sprawling across centre ice. It is not uncommon to see a goalie wearing player skates and flopping on the blue ice at every shot. This is hockey at its most pure. There are no graphite sticks, no egos and no fights; here the capitalistic spirit of this fine nation flourishes, goals are celebrated and the fittest thrive. Piled under bags in a buddy’s car on the way to the first game the goalie rolled a joint. This set the tone. When we arrived at the rink the dressing room looked rather sparse. Smooth Liquid Thunder had five skaters and a goalie. The captain traded his Watcard for five yellow Warrior jerseys. The goalie wore an orange jersey; Alf was stenciled on the front. On the ice there were no pucks for warm-up and after skating circles for three minutes we were very tired. The other team wore black Warrior jerseys, had lots of skaters and no goalie. The ref gave one of their skaters goalie gloves and a goalie stick; this player-goalie spent the game standing there, shaking in his shin guards, swiping futile at any puck we managed to float on net. It was very easy to score. One of our guys was a good hockey player in his day. He scored a hat trick in the first on wrist shots from the blue line. By the second we had reached the 6-0 mercy rule and we were very tired. The scorekeeper stopped putting the goals on the scoreboard. We began taking turns off on the bench, jumping the boards for breakaway passes and then returning to our seat. The other team scored a couple of goals. There was no one in the stands to take notice. When the final buzzer sounded the scoreboard still read 6-0. We were very proud and gathered around the goalie to congratulate ourselves. When we shook hands the other team was friendly. They were masking their disappointment with their smiles; they were saying “I don’t care” and “it’s just campus rec.” But we knew better. The sweet smell of victory was in the air; we were the victors and the spoils were ours. After the game our captain passed out the beers he had brought in his bag. In the back seat of the car, buried under my own rank equipment, I realized that the sport of hockey is very difficult. But in the end the sore legs and the bad smell are well worth it. For victory tastes sweet. Even in Campus Rec. cpeters@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
The Warriors field hockey team could hardly have picked a more opportune time to notch their first goal of the OUA season. Stephanie Stanlick converted a pass from Allison Pay for the Warrior tally, as the squad earned a 1-1 tie against the University of Western Ontario on Sunday. While the tie only brings the Warrior record to 0-3-1 through the first four games, the effect on the team’s confidence has been both positive and swift. Enthused fourth-year defender Kate Critchley said, “Our tie against Western has definitely given us confidence ... reminding us that we can score goals and play the kind of tight hockey that we’ve been used to playing for the last few years.” Now two years removed from the
Words: QB details glory Continued from page 30
contributions of OUA all-star Jessalyn Jennings, the Warriors have also seen sweeper Jess Junker, midfielder Jenny Crawford and prolific scorer Meagan Wilson exit. “Our team has gone through a lot of changes this year,” confirmed defender Michelle John. “We have lost many key players.” Still, the team is neither without the hope, nor the nucleus of players to stage a renaissance. “Our team played a really good game on the weekend,” said John. “Every girl on our team played with heart and intensity; no one ever gave up.” In addition to their improved and determined play, the Warriors can look forward to having veteran midfielder Jenna Adleman rejoin their ranks when they travel to Ottawa for games against Carleton (0-3-1) and Guelph (2-1-1) this weekend. sutz@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
The penalty brings the ball to the one-yard line. The clock reads 0:00. There will be one final play. In our short yardage package, [the coaches] had called a dive, to one of the fullbacks, but I thought it would’ve been a loss. And knowing in Canadian football the defence is playing a yard off the ball, and both offence and defence lines are four-point stances and are going to cut each other, I knew the linebackers would have to make the tackle. So we called the QB sneak in the huddle. The Gaels get into their goal line defence, piled one yard back off the line. Waterloo sets three in the backfield, in a line behind Morbey, and the rest along the ball. Morbey stands over the O-line, looking at the defence; the crowd is still on its feet, stomping, yelling… We’re at the line, with the QB sneak called; we’re going to run the play on first sound, to make it quicker. At the line of scrimmage I realized that their backers were about four or five yards off the D-lineman.
I knew I could take the ball and jump, and extend my hands right over the top. The backfield shifts. Morbey crouches, his hands on the centre; the snap is made and the lines collide, helmets and shoulders crashing together. The line surges forward and Morbey leaps from his crouch with the ball held before him in both hands. He’s in the air, up over the backs of the big boys before him, with the ball outstretched; he crosses the line in the air; the referee’s hands shoot to the skies where the rain is still falling. “Touchdown,” he yells, “Waterloo wins.” It’s been a long time since I’ve been two and two, after four years of being 2-6. And the way that we won, overcoming adversity; nobody thought that a) we could compete with Queen’s, b) we could beat them and c) that we could come back in the last minute to score a touchdown to win. A lot of the guys really enjoyed that moment. sbell@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
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sports
32
Athlete profile: Kyle Faulkner
Number: 64
Position: O-Line
FRIDAY, september 29, 2006
Program: Sociology Home Town: London, ON
Simona Cherler
Doug Copping reporter
Kyle Faulkner wears number 64 by choice because it was his dad’s racing number, painted to the side of his stock car. With his parents always present to cheer him on, Faulkner started every game played during his rookie year. He returns for his second warrior season with strong potential and an inspiring attitude. Over tacos and cold beer, Faulkner talks football. What do you love about football? There are 12 guys on the field and everybody relies on each other for success. One good player can’t hold the show. Backup is required. This demand pulls you together as team. We’re playing for each other. We’re playing for the guy next to us. When it comes down to it, it doesn’t matter how many are in the crowd. Whether you win or lose is dictated by how you play as a team. What does it take to play at this level? Commitment. You need the discipline to turn down the party for sleep, to ensure you’re well rested. You need to get to class because school is a priority. It takes work.
You’re a full-time student and varsity athlete. How do you balance these responsibilities? We’re here as football players, but we’re here as students first. A busy schedule pushes you to learn good time management. As a full time student and varsity athlete, there is no time to sit around. This pressure helps you drive to get everything done. What pushes you past your personal limits? Eleven teammates are relying on me to do my job. It’s a mental state where during the 60 minutes of the game, I don’t worry about being tired, I don’t worry about getting hurt, I am just completely focused as something pushes you to get your job done, no matter what it takes, no matter how exhausted you may be. You also know that no matter how tired your teammates get, you can rely on them to complete their jobs too. What lessons have you learned from football that you apply to other aspects of your life? No matter how out of reach a goal may seem, if you put enough work in, you can reach it. I also learn to rely and trust others to do their job. For example, at the end of Saturday’s game when tensions were high, you focus on your job and do it as best as you can. And you know the entire team is also doing this. I think we were able to do that, and were ultimately successful because of it.
As you evolve as a football player, how have your goals evolved? I am now working hard to maintain my starting position, and expanding my goals to improve my performance. For example, having games where I don’t miss any blocks or games with no sacks. How do you plan to achieve your goals? Preparation. I work out with my O-line as a unit, and we watch game film together. We are looking out for one another. The older team’s wisdom is being communicated to help us do whatever we need to achieve. We are continuing to mature and develop as a team. Laces in or laces out? Laces out (laughs). What athlete do you most respect and why? Tie Domi because he knew he was an enforcer and he did his job well. He was not the biggest or the best, but every shift he was the hardest worker on the ice. He would be just as happy for the guy who scored, as if he were the guy who scored. He was the kind of player who was willing to put himself out there, to make personal sacrifices for the team success, not personal success. You need guys like that for a team to work.
Warrior cross-country running into shape Shawn Bell assistant sports editor
For Race 2 of the 2006 cross-country season, the Mens and Women’s Warriors teams travelled to London for the Western Invitational. This early in the season the teams are still running themselves into shape. The women finished ninth out of fourteen teams; the men finished thirteenth. “We have young teams this year,” women’s captain Laura Sardone said, “especially the men, they have almost all rookies.” On a race like this, the women run five kilometres and the men run the women’s course twice. Twelve runners race for each team; the top seven times constitute the team score. “It was a slow course this weekend, very hilly” Sardone said. The top woman finished in 18 minutes. The top Warrior was Kelly Lynne Spettigue, a first-year rookie, who finished in just over 20 minutes and 22nd out of 150 runners. “It was a tough course,” Spettigue said. “Everyone ran hard.” “The team is very close,” Sardone said. “We train together Mondays and Wednesdays, have off-day runs as a team on Tues-
days, Thursdays and Sundays, and race together on Saturdays. Cross-country is a team sport, although we race individually, it is a team. If we come upon a teammate in the race we’ll run together, try to push each other. We run two races on these days too. First, our own race on the track. Then, we run along the men’s race and cheer them on.” With two races under their belts, the Warriors are working hard to get ready for the OUAs in Kingston at the end of October. “We’re hoping to finish top five at OU’s this year,” Sardone said. “With all the training we’re doing,” Spettigue added, “hopefully we’ll see a lot of improvement over the course of the season.” On September 30, the Warriors host the Waterloo Open. The course circles Columbia Ice Fields and runs along Laurel Creek before looping back onto itself. The women race at 1:00 p.m. and the men at 1:45 p.m. For all you fit members of the public, on Sunday, October 15 the Warriors will host the Cross-Country Fundraiser, a four kilometre public run, on the same course the Warriors will run this weekend, alongside the varsity cross country teams. Regis-
Laura Sardone
Women Warriors take off.
tration is $10, and profits will be divided between the Canadian Athletes Now Fund and support for the cross-country teams. Visit the athletics office in the PAC to register. sbell@imprint.uwaterloo.ca
WARRIOR [W] VOLLEYBALL INVITATIONAL TOURNAMENT
Presents
THIS WEEK IN ATHLETICS
Friday, September 29, 2006 11 AM Waterloo vs McMaster 2 PM Western vs Guelph 5 PM Queen’s vs Waterloo 8 PM McMaster vs Western
Saturday, September 30
UW UW Don Don Mills Mills Invitational Invitational 1:00 1:00 PM, PM, UW UW North North Campus Campus
CROSS COUNTRY
WARRIOR BADMINTON Saturday, September 30, 2006 vs Ryerson Rams 10 AM, UW CIF Gym
Saturday, September 30, 2006
WARRIOR [M] GOLF
10 AM Queen’s vs Guelph 1 PM Waterloo vs Western 4 PM McMaster vs Queen’s 7 PM Waterloo vs Guelph
Friday, September 29, 2006 Waterloo Invitational Elmira Golf and Country Club
Sunday, October 1, 2006
WARRIOR [W] GOLF
10 AM Queen’s vs Western 1 PM McMaster vs Guelph 4:30 PM FINALS
Friday, September 29, 2006 Waterloo Invitational Cambridge Golf and Country Club
ATHLETES OF THE WEEK
IMPRINT | SEPTEMBER 29
Elliot Shrive | [M] Baseball
Caitlin Martin | [W] Rugby
Elliot, a second year Kinesiology student from Guelph, Ontario, led the Warriors to three victories this past week against Brock on Tuesday and sweeping a doubleheader from McMaster on Saturday. Elliot went 8-13 for a .615 batting average. He also had 2 rbi, 3 stolen bases and scored 7 runs in the three games.
Caitlin, a first year Engineering student from Teeswater, Ontario, was a big part of the Warrior's 29-5 win over Laurier this past weekend. She scored two stellar tries against the Hawks running through and around their defense. Her defensive tackling and excellent field position along with her scoring ability in this game made a big impact on the field.
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