Raise the “tea” bar
FRIDAY, MAY 6, 2005
UN I V E R S IT Y O F WAT E R L O O ST U D E N T NE W S PA P E R
Feds shuts down ESA
Humans and flies alike?
It’s tea time with Darren Hutz, page 12
New research finds same gene in fly and mammal, page 14
MAY 6, 2005
VO L 28, NO 1
I M P R I N T . U WAT E R L O O . C A
See EMBASSY, page 3
CKMS looks to raise fee Dave George-Cosh IMPRINT STAFF
Carla Sandham EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
The Federation of Students’ disciplinary committee has dissolved the Embassy Student Association, ending –—for now —a lengthy battle over the club’s alleged $6,000 debt to the university. Feds clubs director Rick Theis said it’s unfortunate but policy states if a club is in debt “it must repay its debt or be dissolved.” The Embassy Student Association (ESA) refuses to acknowledge $5,951.88 in unpaid rental fees for Humanities Theatre, where it held weekly Christian worship events. “I believe the debt is illegitimate,” said Hebron Hailu, an ESA member. For eight months the club has contested the debt despite overwhelming evidence, including e-mails and confirmation of the debt from theatre manager Catharine Scott, said John Andersen, Feds president. After the ESA failed to provide tangible evidence proving the debt void, Feds Internal Administration Committee (IAC) voted 3-2 to disband the club on April 6. This is not, however, the first time the Feds has taken action against the ESA. Under the IAC’s advice, Feds suspended the ESA in 2004 after eight violations of Feds Clubs policies and procedures were discovered. “I am a bit disheartened by the lack of support from the Feds since they’re our voice,” said Hailu, adding members are saddened to see events taking place away from campus. He said between 600 and 700 people attended their embassy events at Humanities Theatre in Hagey Hall. Before moving its events to Fed Hall in 2002, ESA rented Humanities Theatre at a discounted club rental rate each week. Because the theatre is run on a breakeven basis, it could not afford to frequently host large events at a reduced rate. “Their use was unusual in their numbers, wear and tear on the theatre and their weekly bookings year round,” said Scott.
UW students Kevin and Eric Martin left Queenston Heights park near Niagara-on-the-Lake April 30 for a six-week hike along Bruce trail. The brothers are raising money for the House of Friendship.
Brothers bear the elements Carla Sandham EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
Two years ago a Toronto woman lay wide-eyed in her tent pitched along Bruce Trail as black bears lurked in the woods around her. But bears are not what worry two UW students who are trekking the 1,368-kilometre Bruce Trail this month. “There are bears past Owen Sound, but I’ll be fine as long as I can run faster than him,” chuckles Eric as he points to his brother Kevin sitting across from him in the SLC. What worries Kevin and Eric Martin most about their six-week adventure is what they are going to eat. “We have no idea about cooking,” said Eric, a first-year arts student. “We have minimal cooking experience and are only taking a little stove.” But Eric, 22, and Kevin, 19, are willing to eat hot dogs every day and risk
meeting a bear in order to send disadvantaged children to camp —something they have enjoyed while growing up. “Camp is an important place for kids to learn and grow,” said Eric, now a camp counsellor. “All kids should have this worthwhile opportunity.” Under gray skies and light rain, the brothers started their hike at the head of the trail in Queenston Heights Park, just south of Niagara-on-the-Lake on April 30. They hope to raise $10,000 for the House of Friendship’s summer camp sponsorship program. By Saturday, the Martins, of Waterloo, had raised $4,815. “It’s great from our point of view,” said Brian Hunsberger, program coordinator. “It will raise the profile of the program and hopefully broaden our donor base.” Last year the program sent 117
children to camp. The program requires $25,000 in donations, added Hunsberger. Eric said it was always a long-term goal of his to hike the Bruce Trail, which stretches from Niagara-on-theLake through Kitchener-Waterloo to Tobermory. When Eric approached his brother about joining him on his adventure, Kevin was less than enthusiastic. “You’re crazy, I told him,” Kevin recalled days before the trek. But Kevin, a second-year environment and business student, couldn’t stop thinking about his brother’s offer. He later surprised Eric by agreeing to go along with him. Kevin then suggested turning their trip into a fundraiser —to make the cold nights and sore feet worthwhile. And so they did. See TREK, page 4
For those students still sensitive about last term’s referendum on student fees, take note — soon you’re going to pay $1 more to maintain your local community radio station. On May 2, Radio Waterloo Inc., known on campus as CKMS FM, held their general meeting in the SLC MultiPurpose room. Aside from the usual tribulations that general meetings undergo (agenda reviews, acceptance of previous meetings’ minutes, etc.), the meeting’s focus was the discussion of the fee increase. CKMS has a detailed budget projection analysis explaining why the fee increase is needed. The radio station has operated under the current student fee of $4.50 for the past 12 years, operating below the standard cost of living. The station has planned carefully to keep costs at a minimum while positioning itself to improve its service to Waterloo students. Funding is generally acquired through student fees, however the organization also relies on fundraising (including an upcoming yard sale) and has applied for a grant from the Trillium Foundation. Reasons for requesting the dollar increase include maintaining the station manager position, increasing the responsibilities of the programme and spoken-word co-ordinators, the beginning of a fund that will be positioned strategically to pick up a new, stronger frequency when it becomes available, rapid change of the North Campus and building links with the campus through programming and the acquisition of physical space on campus. CKMS members voted in the fee increase, with 26 in favour, one declining and two abstaining. The budget projections will be submitted to John Andersen, Feds president. Andersen will then inform Dennis Huber, vicepresident of finance at UW, on how to proceed further. If the university accepts the student fee, the radio station foresees no additional fee increase for at least five years. CKMS can be heard at 100.3 FM or 95.5 FM on cable. More information about CKMS and the student fee increase can be found at www.ckmsfm.ca or by contacting Heather Majury at 8862567 extension 202. email@example.com
FRIDAY, MAY 6, 2005
What are you doing to help global warming? by Dan Micak and Kirill Levin
“I’m doing nothing. Absolutely nothing.” Jon Passavelli
“Driving my van around.” Rohit Narayan 1A electrical engineering
1B electrical engineering
Across 1. Mountain basin 4. Western exhibition 9. You can find a few in the Great Hall 14. The namesake for Needles Hall 15. Asian flu 16. Dwell 17. Cookie or tea container 18. Thick material 19. Linus and Lucy’s brother 20. Post-term relief 22. Swiss city 23. Official doorkeeper 24. Small dining space 26. Hit over the back of the head 27. Range of control 30. Waterloo’s cougar lair 31. French impressionist 33. Fifth wheel 35. Rehabilitation therapy 38. Tirade 39. Typical font format 40. Typical bathroom sign 41. Hostile opposition 42. Hershey product 46. Sign of a dogs happiness 49. Birthplace of Muhammed 50. Flights while alone 51. Impressive home 54. Continental quilt 55. Louisiana cookin’ 56. Accountant 57. Sports rink Solution for April 1, 2005 E D A M
“Que dicen? I no entendemos nada de eso!” Rachel Droogers and Amanda Arsenault
“I don’t drive. I take public transit.” Crystal Van Dyk 4B psychology
4B Spanish, 3A social development
R I C E
R A N G
S L E A Z O N T I H A R E M U I R A S P G E E E A S T S S E T A A L E R G L A S
L A M B
C O R O N E R
E N E M Y
A M O R I M A D E R L E E D E I T T S
E T N A S I E G E P A C E
S O O N I S A L N E T I N E S W I N R E E S N S
“I’m walking to school every day.” Nikhil Bhatia 2B madtmathmath and business
“I’m not interested in global warming. I don’t have time to think about it.” Marvi Jatoi
P S H A W E D
A P A C E
N D A U D S N T S
D A L C A A L S G O I O P G P I I D N O G L
E M E S I S
N A T A N T
L E N A
L A U D
27 31 35
“I’m not trying to help global warming. I’m trying to prevent it.” Ian Harrower
58. Turing and Shepard 59. Efficient light 60. Mrs Seaver in Growing Pains 61. What to do when a traffic lane disappears 62. Comes before tee Down 1. Lemon or lime flavoured 2. Alternate spelling for ironically humourous 3. The last Chinese dynasty 4. Secret WWII radiolocation 5. Above 6. Small dent in a car 7. Gently squeeze into place 8. The lonliest number 9. Plastic wrap 10. Corpulent 11. A bad rental property 12. Extramarital sexual relations 13. Japanese penny 21. Jeff Henry and his parents 22. Tiny fragment 24. Arabic currency 25. Adam’s counterpart 27. Singer DiFranco
28. Cattle noises 29. German please 32. Local timezone 33. Part of the new Ceylon 34. Electronic message fragment 35. The goal of the Stag shop 36. Post-Bomber problem 37. Norman cathedral with a short name 38. German car 41. Half the width of ems 43. Thankful haven’t seen these in a while 44. Tulip flower stalks 45. Rabbit foods 47. America’s first astronaut 48. Tiny bits 49. Minister’s house 51. Far boundary 52. Slightly open 53. Breathing organ 54. East Indian tree that bears vermilion blooms 55. The river in Cambridge, England firstname.lastname@example.org
Jumble theme: See the words, guess the language!
1. zahlen, orte, reise, nine, daten
5. itim, sino, dalandan, timog, paki
2. yeka, bobek, ashsinba, bar, zhoor
6. dobro, dehn, ootro, kazvam, neh
3. habari, nzuri, shikamoo, mimi, wao
7. dono, chan, san, kun, hajime
4. ha, variada, proteger, en, la
8. ungkars, provinsen, en, handel, til
“Eem voriga bacheek doer!” means
2B math and business
[very long pause] “Should I be politically correct, or incorrect? ” Shuvo Rahman
NEWS FRIDAY, MAY 6, 2005
FRIDAY, MAY 6, 2005
MSA offended by Misprint Christine Loureiro IMPRINT STAFF
After expressing disappointment with two articles in the April 1 issue of Misprint, Imprint’s annual spoof issue, Muslim Student Association leaders Lana Kanaan and Hammad Din met with editor-in-chief Carla Sandham to voice their concerns. According to Din, a past MSA president, Muslim students understand the articles Professor Elsamry found drunk in Bombshelter pub and ESO launches Jihad against Feds were intended as a joke, but were offended by comments made in the stories. The two received a high volume of calls from upset students following the publication of Misprint. “Drinking and adultery in Islam is like murder or rape,” Kanaan and Din said of the first article, intended to parody Professor Mohamed Elmasry’s recent call for an alcohol-free campus and an earlier incident involving a student left overnight by staff in the Bombshelter pub. Students also took offence to the misuse of the word “jihad” and a reference to a space on the SLC’s third floor, the same floor as the Muslim students’ prayer room, as “jihad headquarters.” According to
Kanaan, who uses the prayer room four times a day, some students felt uncomfortable using the space because it was associated with terrorism. Kanaan said the Misprint articles changed her opinion of Imprint. “People didn’t feel comfortable coming [to the prayer room] anymore,” she said. “It even made me feel uncomfortable.” However, she thinks “it’s a great idea to have Imprint,” and that her “change of heart is temporary.” Din wasn’t surprised by the articles. “I don’t think malice was intended but Imprint staff should be more careful with the words they are using. You want to create a community, not divide it.” “Muslim students are fee-paying members, they should be heard,” said Kanaan. The students requested a front-page apology and circulated a petition with their concerns. They gathered over 80 signatures before reaching a resolution. Sandham suggested the MSA provide Imprint with an editorial outlining their concerns and agreed to offer sensitivity training for Imprint staff beginning fall 2005. Her suggestions were forwarded to MSA members whichaccordingtoKanaan,relievedpresentconcerns. “We were hoping for a printed apology,” said Din, “but what we got was the next best thing. We want
Imprintto be more conscious of such statements in the future.” “Imprint chose not to print an apology,” said Sandham. “[Misprint] was a joke. There was no malicious intent, and if we were to do an apology for that story, we would have to apologize for everything in Misprint because we’ve mocked other public figures.” While she promises to take a close look at next year’s Misprint for content, Sandham also encourages students to take an active role in campus journalism. “They are always welcome to send in a community editorial or letter to the editor, and as students they always have the opportunity to suggest stories that should be covered, angles that should be covered or write themselves.” “I think that the purpose of a newspaper should be to unify a community,” said Kanaan, hopeful that Imprint is more careful in the future. “All we wanted to do was highlight our concerns,” said Din. Kanaan confirmed, “Our main concern is the future.” email@example.com
Six distinguished educators honoured Darren Hutz IMPRINT STAFF
The winners of the UW Distinguished Teacher Awards for 2005 have been decided. Four won as “distinguished teachers” and two won as distinguished student teachers. The winners were Carey Bissonette, Andrew Hunt, Lyndon Johns and Dan Andreae. The distinguished student teachers were Patricia Fitzpatrick and Mike Cinelli. Candidates were nominated by UW students, colleagues and alumni and will be recognized at UW’s spring convocation ceremonies in June. A UW prof of social work at Renison College since 1998, Andreae has been praised by his students as a “witty, funny, caring… genuine person.” He encourages discussion and debate in his classroom in order to try and connect course material to the real world. He also states, “Learning is where the head meets the heart. It is important to make [course material] relevant to life by engaging students with discussion and allowing them to learn from each other.”
Bissonette has been in the UW chemistry department for the past decade. He was “flattered, honoured and a little bit embarrassed to be recognized.” He says, “connection with students on a personal level is important. If you know students in your classes, you feel more obligated to put across your best effort. It’s harder to let down the people you know.” He manages to keep the interest of classes of 200. A student said that, “even though chemistry was one of my largest classes, I felt a personal connection with Prof. Bissonnette which is usually found only in much smaller classes.” Prof Hunt of the Department of History said, “For me, receiving the DTA is one of the highlights of my teaching career at the University of Waterloo. But even more important to me than the DTA are the wonderful students that I’ve encountered since I arrived here in 1997. To me, a great teacher is somebody who is excited about what he or she teaches.” Hunt has become known for his passionate lectures in which he will go as far as screaming and weeping in his efforts to make history real. Jones has won the Optometry Distinguished Teacher Award four years in a row. Students com-
ment that he “is able to make the most complicated of subjects both interesting and simple,” and that his lectures are “interesting, relevant and well-presented.” One student said, “Dr. Jones has realized that he has a flam, and a responsibility to pass that flame on to the future generations of optometrists.” Student teacher Fitzpatrick said, “It’s a big honour that students went out of their way to appreciate me.” She demonstrates her “enthusiasm to integrate the study of geography beyond the four walls of the classroom.” She attributes her success to having “really good mentors like Jean Andrey, Clare Mitchell and Mary-Louise McAllister.” Currently pursuing his doctoral degree and Certificate in University Teaching, Cinelli says “passion and dedication and a constant desire to improve is essential to being a good teacher.” Even a battle with cancer could not prevent him from teaching. Cinelli barely missed a class through his illness. He also coaches the UW women’s varsity hockey team. firstname.lastname@example.org
Embassy: Disputed debt central issue Continued from Cover
Therefore, the university drafted a policy, limiting theatre use to two dates per club per term. Any additional club rentals would not be discounted unless approved by Scott and Theis. While the issue of the ESA’s theatre use was under discussion, Scott said Embassy declined to pay the theatre rental costs believing they would be exempted because of their club status. “When the Feds, the theatre centre and myself worked out what we all agreed was a fair policy of usage… the charges for two bookings were removed retroactively from ESA’s accounts,” Scott said. E-mails show the ESA was aware of the policy change, but Hailu said a “zero dollar invoice” later issued by the university indicates the ESA is debt-free.
“ It was assumed by the ESA that things were dealt with since then,” he said. “The invoice proves nothing,” said Theis, “as it shows only what the club has paid for, not what it should have paid for.” Throughout the controversy, Theis said members of the IAC were threatened and personally insulted, including Andersen who was allegedly called anti-Christian by ESA members. “My girlfriend is Catholic and that isn’t an issue in our relationship,” Andersen said, adding that current and past actions taken against the ESA have nothing to do with its religious nature. “We weren’t out to get them; the evidence clearly shows they owe the money,” said Theis. He insisted dissolution was their last resort. The IAC first proposed a structured plan for the ESA to repay their debt to the university, but “it was flatly rejected by the club,” said Andersen.
The proposal was turned down because it ignored the ESA’s opposition to the debt and required them to pay installments over several years, said Hailu.“This would render our club basically incapable of running events for that period of time,” he said. “I believe it isn’t worthwhile to compromise the truth so the IAC will keep our club afloat.” Hailu said the ESA has taken legal advice from a third party on the matter. The IAC has done all it can, said Andersen, but it is willing to reinstate the ESA, providing “a binding legal judgment which nullifies their debt to the University of Waterloo, and the university formally decides not to pursue other legal avenues.” Meanwhile, Embassy members still meet informally at the Recreation Centre on Father David Bauer Drive each week. email@example.com
Mark Stratford IMPRINT STAFF
The Ontario government released its report last month about annual salaries for public officials exceeding $100,000, including those of Ontario university faculty and staff members. University of Toronto remains the school with the highest paid educators, where over 1,500 officials making the list. Top honours went to U of T’s VP and Chief Advancement Officer Jon Dellandrea, who roped in a spiffy 2004 salary of $376,523.46 before taxes. Big ups to the over 450 UW staff and faculty who made the cut — y’all can buy us the next round, okay? Canada
A Hollywood film about Karla Homolka may be released early in Canada to capitalize on her notoriety in Ontario. The film, Deadly, is based on the union of Homolka and Paul Bernardo, which led to the torture and murder of teen girls Kristen French and Leslie Mahaffy .(Homolka is portrayed by Laura Prepon, who plays Donna on TV’s That 70s Show.) The provincial government has no way of blocking the film, nor can the Ontario Film Review Board give the film a prohibitive rating based on the subject matter, though the board can approach the police if they feel it breaches the Criminal Code. While Deadly’s producer has promised to take the victims’ families into account, Consumer Services Minister Jim Watson said he was “obviously disturbed somebody is trying to exploit” those touched by Homolka’s crimes. International
You hungry? As in really, really hungry? Why not visit Denny’s Beer Barrel Pub in Clearfield, Pennsylvania, home of the world’s biggest hamburger — all 15 pounds of it. The new Beer Barrel Belly Buster consists of 10.5 pounds of ground beef, 25 cheese slices, a head of lettuce, three tomatoes, two onions and a cup-and-ahalf each of mayo, mustard, ketchup, relish and banana peppers on a bun. (Retail price: $23.95.) Last weekend, four men each tried to consume the massive burger — which, says the restaurant’s owner, can feed a family of ten — without finishing, but in February, 100-pound college student Kate Stelnick ate a Belly Buster within three hours, for which she received a certificate, a T-shirt and severely reduced blood circulation. A grey Volkswagen Golf once registered in the name of Joseph Kardinal Ratzinger — a.k.a. the new Pope Benedict — has been auctioned on Germany’s eBay outlet, reaching bids as high as a million euros (or $1.3 million Canadian ). 21-year-old Benjamin Halbe, who bought the car from a dealer in the country’s Sauerland region months before Pope Benedict’s anointment, described the car ironically by saying, “It drives like heaven.” Not to be outdone in the smart-ass department, one eBay posting referred to the Vatican’s symbol for whether a Pope has been elected by asking, “Does black smoke or white smoke come out of the exhaust pipe?” firstname.lastname@example.org
IMPRINT NEWS in Ottawa UW helps tsunami-torn areas
FRIDAY, MAY 6, 2005
Spring has seen an interesting turn of events on the federal political scene. The latest polls indicate a rebound in Liberal popularity, and they are now ahead of Stephen Harperâ€™s Conservatives by anywhere from two to five percentage points. Still, Harper has signaled his determination to bring down the government. The Liberal Party was victimized by a tiny group of fraud artists intent on fleecing the taxpayer of sponsorship dollars, but the opposition has tried to paint the entire party with the same brush. How interesting that the Conservatives criticize the Liberals for â€œlosingâ€? a potential paltry $100 million in the sponsorship program, while the legacy of the last Conservative government is still costing taxpayers nearly $20 billion per year in interest payments on their debt. While April 5 will go down in history as the day when the Tories finally acknowledged the threat of QuĂŠbec separatism, the secret Bloc QuĂŠbĂŠcois/ Conservative alliance has now come to light. In fact, it may have been around for a while; before the 2004 election, one Conservative said to the Bloc: â€œYou take care of QuĂŠbec; weâ€™ll take care of the rest of Canada.â€?
This is Canadaâ€™s â€œUnited Alternativeâ€? to the Liberals? The Bloc opposes Canada as a country while the Conservatives oppose Canadian values. Weâ€™ve taken a wondrous step forward in legalizing gay marriage â€” the Conservatives bash our country and its great Constitution. Canada takes a stand against the terrorist invasion of Iraq â€” the conservatives go on U.S. television and insult our country. Their fringe party is a tiny tent, refusing even to allow the centre-right David Orchard to hold a membership! The Conservatives have flip-flopped on the budget, praising it in the beginning but changing their minds even before the Liberal-NDP deal was concocted. Desperate to avoid a Gomery report that could exonerate Paul Martin and the Liberal Party, the Tories are trying to bring about an election to halt the sponsorship inquiry. The Liberals and NDP are co-operating to try to pass a positive budget for Canadians while ensuring a finish to Judge Gomeryâ€™s work to get to the bottom of the sponsorship mess. Harper, on the other hand, wants to waste $300 million of taxpayer money for an unnecessary election that will, in all likelihood, return a Parliament virtually identical to the one we have now â€” with a Liberal minority government. After all, the Conservatives â€” according to recent polling â€” are no more popular now than they were last June. Their apparent lust (or despera-
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tion?) for power has blinded them to reality and given them the image of a shifty, confused party â€” just look at the bizarre flip-flop by Harper on the Canada Health Act. Whatâ€™s worse is, should the Conservatives pull off a win, we will have another minority government â€” but propped up by whom? The NDP and Liberals would be reluctant to support a party so far right on the spectrum itâ€™s about to fall over the edge. The Bloc would support their sister party on some fiscal issues â€” but only to a point. A Conservative minority government would be ineffective and short-lived; weâ€™d likely be back into an election campaign inside of a year. As far as I can see, the only possible benefit of an election now will be the NDP winning some more seats â€” they deserved a few more in the last election but got screwed by vote-splitting on the centre-left. With a few more seats, the Liberals and the NDP will have a combined majority and, in spite of the right-wing leanings of Paul Martin, will be able to get some positive, progressive measures through the House. The Conservatives make drastic, whimsical statements with no backup. Theyâ€™ve offered few ideas to Canadians â€” their only claim to fame is that they arenâ€™t the Liberals. As they may soon discover, thatâ€™s not good enough to win an election. email@example.com
Carla Sandham EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
UW staff member Drew Knight is Asia-bound. Knight, director of international programs for the office of research, went to Sri Lanka with World University Service of Canada (WUSC) to identify ways to rebuild the island after Decemberâ€™s devastating tsunami killed more than 30,000 people. Representatives from the universities of Guelph and Manitoba, Trent University and Queenâ€™s University are also joining WUSC staff on the ten-day fact-finding and needs assessment mission. â€œThis initiative represents an important opportunity for Canadian universities to demonstrate their tangible commitment to Sri Lankaâ€™s long-term deconstruction,â€? Paul
Porter library gets renovated Andrew Dilts IMPRINT STAFF
The third floor of the Dana Porter library will be closed during the spring term. The â€œsugar cubeâ€? library will undergo renovations, made possible in part by a half-million dollar gift from Peter and Betty Sims. As a result of the renovations, periodicals and journal articles, normally housed on the third floor, now must be requested from TRELLIS and can be picked up at the Porter circulation desk by 5 p.m. the next day.
Andrew Dilts IMPRINT STAFF
federal cabinet minister, the Honourable Sinclair Stevens. Many presenters provided personalized information to the camp, based on pre-camp interest inquiries. Others strayed from previously prepared PowerPoint presentations, allowing for informal question-and-answer periods. Most presenters stressed that they would be available to serve as a resource to participants after the campâ€™s end. Fees for such offers by these presenters usually fall within the hundreds-of-dollarsper-hour range. Numerous participants said the opportunity to network with presenters and fellow participants was as valuable as the knowledge component of the camp. Presenters were often available after their workshops, with many joining attendees
Now Hiring Student Fundraisers! $8.50/hr to start
Trek: heading to Tobemory
Work on Campus Flexible hours Raises Every 20 Shifts A Fun Team Environment If you are a good Communicator, Enthusiastic and Dependable, then we want to talk to you! Please apply in person at the Office of Development in South Campus Hall. Please include a cover letter, resume,class schedule and three references. Questions: Kathy Prpic ext.3129 firstname.lastname@example.org
A number of offices on the DPâ€™s third floor will also be affected. The Learning and Teaching Through Technology (LT3) centre will continue operating out of their offices for most of the term, â€œalthough construction disturbances may shift working patterns on some days.â€? The FLEX lab â€œis basically unavailable for public use â€Ś as the construction will make for a noisy learning environment.â€? as stated on Waterlooâ€™s library website. email@example.com
Boot camp a success for local entrepreneurs A local not-for-profit organization held its fourth annual â€œentrepreneurship boot campâ€? at St. Jeromeâ€™s April 25-28. The Business Start-Up Advantage Camp, organized by UW Innovate, consisted of four days and nights of intensive lectures and experiences to give budding entrepreneurs information on how to have a successful start-up venture. The camp covered a broad range of topics, from team building to market research and corporate law to commercialization (getting the product out into the marketplace). Many esteemed individuals gave presentations throughout the course of the camp, from Alan Quarry to keynote speaker and former
Davidson, WUSC executive director, said in a recent press release. He added that it would help WUSC, a non-governmental development organization (NGO), by integrating the knowledge and expertise of Canadian academics and students. Knight left Saturday with the group and will participate in a series of briefings, meetings and presentations on current post-tsunami development needs and challenges faced by WUSC staff in Sri Lanka and other international and local NGOs. The group will travel to Colombo and the Galle, Matara, Hambantota, Ampara, Batticaloa and Girtale districts. Knight will return to work May 12 and a full report of his trip will be chronicled in the next issue of Imprint.
Continued from cover
To prepare, the brothers intensified their exercise routines to build endurance for the 1,000 or so hours of hiking. â€œWe stepped up our running, walking, squats and stair work,â€? said Eric, adding they will average about 25 kilometres per day, while taking every seventh day off. Each of them is carrying 40 pounds of gear, which includes a camp stove, tent, clothes and some food. The brothers have also arranged for food to be mailed to post offices along the way.
The brothers decided to hike south to north â€” saving the best for last, they said. â€œIt is so beautiful the further north you go,â€? said Eric, who has already hiked some of the northern parts of Bruce Trail. While they admit summer would have made for more ideal camping weather, now was the only time they each had six weeks of available time to make the trip. Environment Canada has predicted normal to below normal temperatures for the next month with normal precipitation. â€œAt least we wonâ€™t have to worry about mosquitoes,â€? said Eric optimistically.
during mealtimes. With a lower than one-to-one ratio of presenters to participants, many potential entrepreneurs had time to seek in-depth assistance from experts in a number of fields. Other attendees who had already initiated the start-up process were able to network with others, finding resources for their up-and-coming ventures. Participants stayed overnight in the residence spaces provided. The accommodations proved to be quite useful, thanks greatly to the campâ€™s continuous 7:30 a.m. to 10:30 p.m. schedule. The entrepreneurship boot camp is scheduled to return in April 2006. For more information, contact UW Innovate at firstname.lastname@example.org. email@example.com
The brothers are expected back in early June. If on schedule, Kevin will spend one night in his own bed before returning to the hard ground to sleep on at another summer camp. Eric, on the other hand, is looking forward to his job at a local bakery when he returns. â€œI will come home after eating camp food for six weeks and be able to have all the free tarts and bagels I can eat,â€? smiled Eric. Imprint will update Kevin and Ericâ€™s progress in each publication. firstname.lastname@example.org
FRIDAY, APRIL 1, 2005FRIDAY, MAY 6, 2005
5 Imprint is published by Imprint Publications Student Life Centre 1116 University of Waterloo Waterloo, ON N2L 3G1
Our university needs a top-notch newspaper
You’ve seen my photo, read my name and learned about me in past Imprint stories, but do you really know who I am? It’s been two months since I started as editor-in-chief of Imprint and I have yet to be scared away by the sometimes intimidating and unruly staff. They tried, but to no avail. Their witty “I hate Carla Club” and one nameless person’s repetitive drunk singing of a Bob Marley song had no affect. Since I am here for the long haul, I want to let UW know my intentions for Imprint over the next year. It’s an ambitious agenda, but one I think will benefit all of UW. Before I reveal my master plan, I want to give you some insight into my
journalism experience. First, I hold a three-year diploma in print and broadcast journalism from Conestoga College. During my graduating year, I was recognized as journalist of the year and won both the best news story and the best TV news reporter awards. Immediately after college, I broke into the St.Catharines community by spearheading a new community newspaper called Niagara News. As a reporter/editor/photographer/layout artist there, another staff member and I produced a weekly paper from start to finish. Prior to this, I had been a summer student (since high school) at the Tillsonburg News and completed internships at The Record and Guelph Mercury. Most recently, I placed second in the Ontario Community Newspaper Association’s Better Newspapers Competition for a heritage story I wrote for the Tillsonburg News, where I again worked full-time before coming here.
What can I say? It’s in my blood. I love journalism and I have the scars to prove it. Yes, scars — from nasty black fly bites after trekking through a muddy forest for an interview and from the numerous people who called me a “heartless bitch” after taking accident photos.
My goal is to make Imprint OCNA awards material.
Now, without further adieu, my plan: Imprint is a member of the Ontario Community Newspaper Association (OCNA) and my goal is to make Imprint OCNA awards material. But I can’t do it alone and it will involve making some changes that
may not please everyone. The recent reader survey brought awareness to areas needing improvement and also provided some helpful solutions, which I intend to act on. Imprint has a great foundation for an award-winning paper, but needs some tweaking. Here are some suggestions: 1. Edgy professionalism. As a student newspaper, Imprint must be edgy. We can push the envelope further than most mainstream publications, but it should be done with class — meaning properly researched stories done with good reasoning. Content should relate to students and should be displayed in an eye-catching way. We don’t want to be boring — or tacky. 2. Working relationship with the UW community. Imprint would not exist without you. We need students to provide content and layout the newspaper, but we also need to be informed about issues, events and the individual accomplishments of students. We have only so much time to
dig up stories, so it’s doubly beneficial if you let us know about potential stories. If you have a news tip, e-mail me at email@example.com or drop by the office (SLC 1116). 3. In-house training and recruitment. Good staff results in a good product. It is my responsibility to motivate volunteers and provide them with the tools required to do their jobs successfully. This will include training workshops at the beginning of each term and regular one-on-one coaching throughout the term. Recruitment should be continuous, seeking out the best of the best. If you have an interest in journalism, Imprint is a great place to start. I could go on, but part of my job is to set a good example. And the first lesson all journalists should learn is that brevity — clear, tight writing — is key. (Columns are limited to approximately 500 words. I apologize, my column is137 words over.)
rumour and hearsay rather than truth and accuracy. The new Feds are already working on their first big issue of the term. Apparently, UW is talking about implementing yet another student fee — another $10 per term — for lifetime access to transcripts and other administrativia. Is this fee worthwhile? Is it in the best interest of students? Both UW and Feds should communicate details about the issue via councillors discussing it with their constituents before the matter is voted on at council. Clearly communicating the benefits and costs of the fee, as well as its implications to UW students, could help to clear up any ambiguity among the student body. The need for transparency is not limited to leadership alone — many processes and offices would benefit
from clear two-way communication. Besides the changes of office that took place on May 1, a few other changes in leadership are in the works here at UW. Both the faculties of science and arts are looking for new deans, and student representatives (grad and undergrad) will sit as voting members on both selection committees. What do you want in a new dean? What do you even know about the current dean? What do you know about the selection process? Get in touch with the Feds and/or GSA presidents about this — they can let you know who your student reps are and how you can add your input. After all, it’s better than leaving it to the grapevine.
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Imprint does not guarantee to publish articles, photographs, letters or advertising. Material may not be published, at the discretion of Imprint, if that material is deemed to be libelous or in contravention with Imprint’s policies with respect to our code of ethics and journalistic standards.
Next board meeting: May 25 5:15 p.m.
I heard it through the grapevine
Hey, did you hear about…? Office gossip is a problem that has plagued many a workplace. “I heard it through the grapevine,” sang Marvin Gaye (and later, the California Raisins), although he didn’t have in mind an issue that has severely detracted from many positive work environments. Workplace speculation, often fueled by gaps in information provided by higherups, has caused no shortage of trouble in businesses around the world. “I hear they’re going to fire us all…” “There’s a new job that’s supposed to be open-
ing up, but it’s going to create a lot of negative competition among our employees …” “I hear that management treated X employee really poorly…” You name it and the rumours have been passed around. So, how to best deal with such gossip? The answer is surprisingly simple. Straight out of the first-year business textbook comes the lesson that a great solution for the problem of workplace gossip is to simply provide accurate information to the group. Speculation is easily killed by a clear truth. “No, we’re not going to fire everyone, but our budget is going to be a little tight this year…” “Yes, there will be a new position opening, but management is looking to recruit externally.” There are times, however, when a little bit of secrecy is necessary in the
IMPRINT U N I V E R SIT Y
W AT E R L O O S T U D E N T N E W S PA P E R
Editorial Staff Editor-in-chief, Carla Sandham firstname.lastname@example.org Assistant Editor, vacant Cover Editor, vacant News Editor, vacant News Assistant, vacant Opinion Editor, vacant Features Editor, vacant Arts Editor, vacant Science Editor, vacant Sports Editor, vacant Photo Editor, vacant Graphics Editor, vacant Web Editor, vacant Systems Administrator, vacant Sys. Admin. Assistant, vacant Lead Proofreader, vacant Proofreader, vacant Proofreader, vacant Proofreader, vacant
Friday, May 6, 2005
workplace. Confidentiality is often required for human resources-related matters: hirings, firings, salaries and the like. Other times, clandestine attitudes are required for benevolent reasons. “Where’s the surprise activity we’re going to do this Friday?” Well, that’s why they call it a surprise activity! The need for clear and open communication in business matters — some use the term transparency to describe this — is just as strong for external matters as internal ones. May 1 saw a new batch of leaders accepted across the UW campus, including a new slate of Feds executives. These new Feds, as well as the new board of directors and council, would do well to maintain clear channels of communication with their constituents, lest their legacies be defined by
— Vol. 28, No. 1
Student Life Centre 1116 University of Waterloo Waterloo, ON N2L 3G1
Proofreader, vacant Office Staff General manager, Catherine Bolger email@example.com Advertising & production manager, Laurie Tigert-Dumas firstname.lastname@example.org Distribution, vacant Distribution, vacant Board of Directors email@example.com President, Dan Micak Vice-president, Sarah Allmendinger Treasurer, Jeff Anstett Secretary, Kelley Dilkes Staff liaison, Durshan Ganthan firstname.lastname@example.org
F: 519.884.7800 P: 519.888.4048 imprint.uwaterloo.ca
Production Staff Tom Levesque, Dean Whelton, Jeff Anstett, Darren Hutz, Alicia, Neal Moogk-Soulis, Claire Mousseau, Kirill Levin, Sarah Allmendinger, Simon Yarrow, Dan Micak, Laura Katsirdakis, Margie Mansell, Dave George-Cosh.
Imprint is the official student newspaper of the University of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. Imprint is a member of the Ontario Community Newspaper Association (OCNA). Editorial submissions may be considered for publication in any edition of Imprint. Imprint may also reproduce the material commercially in any format or medium as part of the newspaper database, website or
Imprint is published every Friday during fall and winter terms, and every second Friday during the spring term. Imprint reserves the right to screen, edit and refuse advertising. Imprint Publications is not responsible for
Next staff meeting: Monday, May 9 12:30 p.m., SLC 1116 Next production night: Wednesday, May 18, 2005 5:00 p.m., SLC 1116
What inukshuk! WPIRGan Letters Letters If I told you I was writing an angry column on the Olympic Games, you would probably assume the subject matter would consist mainly of illegal steroids and banned stimulants. While that is certainly a valid topic, I will save my rant on the un-integrity of sport for another time. No Marion Jones (or a number of past U.S. track-and-field athletes for that matter), no Ross Rebagliati (poster boy for the â€œlegalize it!â€? campaign) and no Ben Johnson (Iâ€™m sure you feel shafted by this one). Instead, I will share some thoughts with you on some rubble that, when piled correctly, takes the shape of the 2010 Winter Olympiadâ€™s official emblem. Last week was the official unveiling of the unoriginal, uninspiring inukshuk (a symbolic Inuit rock structure â€” the northern equivalent of etching â€œI was hereâ€? onto a desk in the Dana Porter library) as the central figure for the Vancouver Gamesâ€™ marketing campaign. There are so many inane qualities to it, I donâ€™t even know where to start â€” but I will anyway. The Olympic flag has long been an identifiable symbol for its five linked rings, each a different colour representing a world united (every countryâ€™s flag contains at least one of the five: blue, black, yellow, green or red). Yet the colours of the five stones of the inukshuk differ. Apparently the selection committee felt it was important to tell the world that Canada,
a country that has proudly produced such famous artists as Emily Carr and the Group of Seven, is colourblind. Or maybe itâ€™s just the selection committee themselves. Either way, they screwed up. Secondly, as pointed out by a native chief from British Columbia, the symbol contains a strong similarity to Pac-Man, although I would argue Gumby would be a better comparison. I donâ€™t know if this is a good or bad quality but I could think of a plethora of other cartoon characters more appropriate. Donâ€™t you think it would be considerably more impressive if the figure wore a headband likening it to Ryu of Street Fighter fame? With Vancouver being the gateway to the East, wouldnâ€™t that be a much more fitting choice? But perhaps the most disappointing aspect is the continuing fallacy that Canada lacks culturally symbolic artistic subject matter outside of our native links (the Tim Hortonâ€™s logo being a notable exception, of course). Consistently choosing native art to represent Canada is so close to becoming clichĂŠ, itâ€™s sickening. It seems like every occasion our obsolete Governor General Adrienne Clarkson spends our tax dollars on an overpriced gift for foreign dignitaries, itâ€™s a soapstone carving of a seal or polar bear sculpted by an unknown native. Being a country so intricately linked with the environment, world cultures and sport itself, I find it very difficult to believe that a more suitable design wasnâ€™t submitted to the selection committee before deadline. Thatâ€™s not to say we shouldnâ€™t support native art, but frankly the only stack of stones worth creating a lasting Olympic image after would be Stonehenge, a choice that would also receive its share of criticism. See SYMBOL, page 7
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Microsoft abandons LGBT community
FRIDAY, MAY 6, 2005
As Iâ€™ve said before, Iâ€™m one of the few English majors involved in the co-op system and this term will mark my first job placement within the realm of â€œbig business.â€? My two previous placements were fun and exciting but are impossible to compare with foraying into the dangerous politics and backstabbing of corporate Canada, living forever in fear of being fired by a guy with a pink tie and a bad hairpiece. Clearly, I need to stop watching The Apprentice. One cornerstone of working in nearly any business environment in todayâ€™s modern Canada is the pages and pages worth of policies and non-disclosure agreements and oaths of confidentiality â€” all of which are entirely necessary to keep capitalist competition alive. Within these are usually found the harassment policy, typically a fairly significant few pages of dire warnings to those who might possibly fall prey to the Freudian slip. Across Canada, these warnings are all but required by law, upholding the guarantee of every citizenâ€™s freedom from discrimination within the workplace, despite whatever differences we may embody. This, of course, includes sexual orientation. In the United States, however, this is not the case. Yes, some states do have clauses protecting LGBT workers from discrimination in the workplace but many still do not. One of these states is Washington, an area in which LGBT rights groups have been working for 30 years to gain some sort of protection against being fired for their sexual orientation. Of course, their cause was aided in a big way by one of the biggest corporations around. Microsoft has been viewed as one of the best corporations in the U.S.A. in regards to its policies towards LGBT employees. In fact, the
L.A. Gay & Lesbian Center, the largest gay and lesbian organization in the world, gave Microsoft an award â€œbecause the company had been a leader in opposing anti-gay initiatives, was one of the first companies to offer domestic partnership benefits and include sexual orientation in its corporate non-discrimination policy and has supported AIDS and LGBT organizations across the country.â€? For 10 years, Microsoft has been a big-name player in the field of civil rights. Last week, the L.A. Gay and Lesbian Centre asked for its award back. Suddenly, Microsoft is in the midst of turmoil, for a sudden and drastic reversal of policy at a critical point of time. A once staunch supporter of equal rights, Microsoft removed its support from a bill before the Washington Senate that would create discrimination protection in D.C. Directly because of this reversal of policy, the bill failed. By one vote. Why did the computing giant desert its post at such a critical time? Apparently, it was due to the threat of a boycott by a lone extreme-rightwing minister and the nudging of $20,000-permonth policy consultant Ralph Reed, whose outlook on LGBT individuals is, well, far from positive. Yes, you read it right â€” the massive corporation that has to take care not to accidentally become a monopoly is afraid of a boycott. Looking past that bit of ridiculousness, the point is that corporations have as much sway in the outcome of political debates as do lobby groups â€” and not just when dealing with oil or the environment. It is for this reason that non-profit groups, of every colour and purpose, tend to focus a great deal on garnering support from big business. And so, while Microsoft whips its PR department into a frenzy trying to placate the public (not to mention its irate employees), gay rights groups are looking to Apple to see if they will be as willing to take Microsoftâ€™s place in this market, as they were in the music market.
FRIDAY, MAY 6, 2005
Thanks, UW students! To the editor, At the end of last term students voted to grant me honourary membership in Feds. The motion was brought forward at the Feds general meeting and is awarded, according to bylaw, in â€œrecognition of outstanding serviceâ€? to Feds or UW. I awant to express my thanks for the honour.I will leave it to others to judge if I have any of those other qualities but I have been and continue to be willing. Consider making your commu-
nity, your country or any part of the world around you better places. There are plenty of worthwhile opportunities around you. If contributing in itself is not enough for you, you can still benefit personally from your experiences. To encourage good works in others we should take every chance to give constructive feedback, sincere thanks or any more formal reward. I received something like that recently and to the Federation and to the students I say â€œthank you.â€? â€” Ryan Chen-Wing UW administration
Symbol: emblem is irrelevant Continued from page 6
Then again, Canada does have a long history with native-inspired art â€” after all, it was an Inuit carving that was the weapon of choice during the break-in and attempted assault on former Prime Minister Jean ChrĂŠtien in the mid 1990s. And even though historically speaking, a clichĂŠ symbol does not necessarily result in a poor Olympic Games (see: Sydney 2000â€™s boomerang athlete emblem), itâ€™s certainly a choice that is far from satisfying on a variety of levels. The other aspect making the emblem irrelevant is that the only winter
sport someone of the same size and build as an inukshuk might be able to participate in is curling â€” assuming you consider curling to be a sport. Realistically, I doubt youâ€™ll be seeing anyone of that stature going for gold in any cross-country skiing events or executing a perfect triple lutz in the figure skating competition any time soon. Now if they introduced ice sumo wrestling, then it would be a completely different story, although I would assume competitors would have to wear a tad more than just the g-string they use currently; but I digressâ€Ś Although 2010 is years away and it is almost impossible to get through
the lead-up to an event of this magnitude without at least a fistful of controversy, we should probably cut them some slack. But if decisions like this continue, we may be the laughingstock of the Olympic world (we already have the infamous distinction of being the only nation to not win a gold medal when hosting the games â€” twice). We can only hope our athletes perform better than their leadership has so far â€” given this questionable start, it certainly would not take much. email@example.com
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A RTS Orchestra strikes a high note at UW 8
FRIDAY, MAY 6, 2005
FRIDAY, MAY 6, 2005
Jennifer Lau focuses intensely during Orchestra@UWaterloo’s March concert. Carla Sandham EDITOR-IN-CHIEF
“Nothing gets people together like making music,” said biotechnology student Matthias Gehder. About 70 other UW students and staff share Gehder’s sentiments about the newly formed Orchestra@UWaterloo, which is in its third term this spring. Gehder, a German exchange student, has played clarinet for years in bands and orchestras in Germany, therefore it was a “must” to carry on his musical talent here in Canada. “It is a great way to get to know some really nice people, especially people in completely different programs than oneself,” said Gehder, adding he considers the orchestra a “social place.” For second-year engineering student Jerry Johns, the orchestra is an escape from the stress of school. He has played flute for the orchestra since it started last September. “Time and time again, it’s the soothing sounds of the mellow cellos, the nimble plucking of the violins or the thunderous bellows of the brass that keep me coming back,” he said. “Music might not be a career, but it sure as hell is an integral part of my life.” The university has not had an orchestra for about three decades — too long ago for anyone to remember, said Anna Lubiw, co-founder of the
born-again UW orchestra. Lubiw, a part-time computer science professor, and conductor Erna Van Daele created the orchestra using Heart House Orchestra at the University of Toronto as their model. “To be the first orchestra on campus in a long time, and to be based outside of the context of a music department, which to me makes it feel more accessible to the university population at large, more populist, if you like,” said Van Daele. The group is not an official Feds club nor is it associated with the music department. Lubiw said this allows grad students, faculty, staff and even alumni to participate. Last fall auditions were held to fill all positions in the orchestra. “It was madness,” said Lubiw, recalling the 120 or so music enthusiasts who showed up for the open rehearsal. Johns was among the throng of musicians vying for one of three flautist positions. He said about 28 flute players tried out for the part. “Considering how many students showed up for the open rehearsal in September really shows people were waiting for an orchestra to come,” said Gehder, who also joined the chamber ensemble at Conrad Grebel University. The orchestra was comprised of more than 70 people for the fall and winter terms. Fewer students
May 6 Weezer — Kool Haus // From Fiction, The Golden Dogs, Bears vs. Shark, The Inflation Kills — Sneaky Dee's May 7 The Sour Keys, Vermicious Knid, Wintersleep, Thunderbirds Are Now!, Porcelain Gods — Sneaky Dee's May 8 Europe — Lee's Palace // Randy Rollo — Victoria Park May 9 Nine Inch Nails w/ Dresden Dolls —Kool Haus May 11 Gentleman Reg & Serena — Gladstone Hotel May 12 Old Reliable w/ The Swiftys — Starlight May 13 The Mars Volta — Kool Haus // The Medium, O.U.T., Sing That Yell That Spell — Circus Room
1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6. 7. 8. 9. 10.
Kid Koala Neil Young Caribou Matthew Osborne Martha Wainwright Hangedup Clatter M.I.A. Autechre Superex Agriculture Club
are expected for the spring term, therefore no auditions will be held. “We are calling on all players to attend the first rehearsal on May 26,” said Lubiw. The spring term will be a shorter season for the orchestra, with rehearsals in June and a concert on Canada Day. This is compared to the 11 rehearsals before the fall and winter term concerts. The orchestra held both concerts at Humanities Theatre — where the K-W Symphony used to perform. Many orchestra members are not part of the music program, but are rather engineers and mathematicians. However, Johns said their skill level is comparable to Wilfred Laurier University, which is known for its large music department and exceptional orchestra. “I was a little jealous of WLU because they are hardcore, but we’re on the right route,” said Johns, who got a rare opportunity last term to lead and shape the musicality of the woodwinds. Gehder too said the level of UW’s orchestra is one of the highest among the student orchestras he has played in.
“The pieces we play are pretty difficult and the length of our performance is really good too,” he said. “We are students and put together a two-hour concert of not-easy music within just one term.” Johns said many players have between three and eight years of experience, including him. One member is a graduate of Julliard — a top-notch school for performing musical arts. “The skill level of the group as a whole vastly exceeds the level I was originally expecting,” said Van Daele. Both Johns and Gehder said they are looking forward to playing with the orchestra again this summer. “The orchestra is super and I’m really glad that I got in because it is a big and important part of my time in Waterloo,” said Gehder. The orchestra is organizing an auction on its website (www.orchestra.uwaterloo.ca), where students can bid on a piece they would like the orchestra play. A concerto competition. is also in the works for the fall. firstname.lastname@example.org
Anyone want a Frisbee? Fast Fashion Flexible DM1200Lmtd
Don’t get me wrong. I’m a big fan of dance music and I like to think I approach art with an open and fair mind. But come on, this record is junk. The song is…oh, how to put this … minimalist? It features a simple tune that never changes in any way — a three-note progression graced now and then by an ill-advised flourish which seems an off-key, puerile attempt to overcome the teeth-grinding aggravation of the lyrics. It features a tribal beat that has its potential squandered by the cookie-cutter house beat that overwhelms it and the fact that there are never any variations or flourishes to the beat whatsoever. And it features the lyric, repeated ad nauseum in the same staccato and cocky-sounding monotone, “I ask myself, is it a sin to be flexible, to be flexible.” Once in a while, the lyric is oh-socleverly deconstructed, as it were, into meaningless pieces like simply “I ask myself” or “to be flexible”, or — brace yourself — “I ask myself to be flexible” (please hold your applause). Obviously, the lyric is gone from the
Live From The Short Greatest Hits Yeti Purveyor Of Fine Music Self-titled For Control Arular Untitled Double CD The Horse Always Gets It First
“instrumental” version of the song, but I refuse to say that’s an improvement, because it’s still intolerable tripe. I know, I know, there could be some kind of artistic value to the song. It could be political — a comment on the nature of art. The lyric could be ironic, because even though it suggests the singer is smugly proud of his own flexibility, the song shows no flexibility whatsoever. One could extend this line of thought to suggest the song is an attack on those who would lay down rules for what constitutes “good” or “real” music, since the song serves as a reminder of how godawful rigidity sounds. All hail musical flexibility. And then there’s the double irony, since the song itself is actually produced by choice and artistic freedom: ultimately, it is a product of flexibility, though it is inflexible itself. Alas, I don’t care if it is ironic and meaningful. I’d rather listen to a symphony of alley cats in heat and people cutting tin cans with scissors. The record is limited to 1,500 copies, but you know what? I think I’m about to create additional scarcity. Go long! — Simon Yarrow
– What is Bruce Springsteen’s first name? – How many males are in the Indigo Girls? – True or False: Celine Dion is awesome. – List all the Limp Bizkit songs in order of awesomeness. – Write a 300-word essay on how Michael Bolton reshaped modern contemporary music – Name a song. Any song. It really doesn’t matter. – Do you like music? Submit your answers to email@example.com before for a chance to win five free CDs. Last term’s answers have been lost due to the negligent and illiterate former arts editors of yore. Any individual(s) interested in reclaiming their throne of power, please come to the May 9 Imprint meeting for more information
Why I love music Music is an amazing form of entertainment. It is one of the only methods of communication spanning across borders and the whole world while still maintaining a strong sense of credibility. Its influence and the emphasis it places on culture itself is immeasurable and profound. It can stir up strong emotions from the first notes heard, driving even the coldest of people to warm their hearts. It can heal wounds and create them. Its power is subtle and mysterious, yet its omnipresence is astounding and has rewarded millions of people, [many of whom unknowingly realize] the effect music has on them. Some people bring music into their lives from the moment they’re born to the moment they die. Some people obsess over music incessantly, ranging from the pre-teen girl whose walls are plastered with the latest Tiger Beat centrefolds to the 60-year-old hippie whose Grateful Dead bootleg collection is catalogued in sequential order. I personally love music because it has given me so much in my life. I’ve found joy, excitement, sorrow and defeat. Many of my fondest memories are deeply rooted in the vein of music. I can remember when I was six, sitting
down in front of my father’s vinyl player and putting the needle on side A of Sgt. Peppers Lonely Hearts Band. Hearing that album was the start of what was to be a defining period in my young life. I love those moments where you’re casually listening to something and then it hits you. This big sweeping euphoric sound fills my head and I start nodding along to the beat. The emotions come flooding out; I break open the CD case and pour over the booklet; I spend hours researching the CD on any resource I can get my hands on and tell anyone who’ll listen to check out this album. I love listening to my favourite albums and picking up new sonic details I haven’t heard before. I love the little quirks and tricks that producers use in making the album. I love the simplicity of pop songs and the complexity of prog rock. I love listening to some majestic rock ballad and fantasizing that I’m actually on stage belting out that tune. I love strapping on my headphones and pressing play on music I’ve never heard before. I love the smell of vinyl in the morning and the scent a new CD has when I unwrap it. I love waking up and drifting off to sleep listening to music. I love going to concerts to experience the performance of music in its live setting and the energetic interaction the artist has with his or her audience. I love seeing the smile on people’s faces when they hear something they like, and the uproarious applause that usually follows. I love music and you know what, I bet you do, too. firstname.lastname@example.org
FRIDAY, MAY 6, 2005
Anybody can play guitar
Hey, listen. It is spring term now. Grass is growing, attitudes are slowing and it’s time to get out the old dusty Yamaha acoustic guitar. You know, the one your parents got you for Christmas when you were 15 that you haven’t played for years? I can see the way you’re looking at it and I know you’re thinking “this summer, I’m going to learn how to play that damn thing.” But we all know what happens next. Fast forward a month and you’ve picked the damn thing up once, strummed it once (sans pick, because who the hell ever has a pick?) then put it right back on its dusty stand. The strings are so old they sound like rusty clothes lines that are grossly out of tune. And your index finger is now bleeding. Just great. After the tetanus shot, you remember why you let that old Yamaha collect dust, gave up and started playing bocce ball or something. There has to be another way! Playing music is one of the most rewarding activities a person can pursue. We all listen to music. We all appreciate it on very different levels. Some people are content with bobbing their heads to whatever comes on the radio. I learn my favourite songs and play them for myself and others. You can too. The truth is, anybody — and I mean anybody — can learn a few chords on a guitar and entertain a
crowd in a relatively short period of time. With a handful of tips and tricks and a little practice, you can be playing Hootie at an open-mic in no time. And I’ll show you how. I’ve had six years of playing piano, three years of playing trumpet and four years of the guitar. I’ve played open mic nights and school assemblies. I have come to understand various truths about music from the point of view of someone who plays it. I’m here to give you the inside track. Basically, music can be divided up into three main areas: performance, composition and technical ability— soul, brain and body. Each area must be honed in different ways. Technical ability increases through practice. Becoming a better performer is a matter of overcoming inhibitions and mustering energy. Composition isn’t for everyone. You don’t need to write songs to be a good musician. If you can, though… As daunting as that may all sound, you’d be amazed at how little the areas can matter. Some bands excel so much in one area that the other ones are irrelevant. Bands like Rush blow audiences away with their technical ability at the same time, punk rockers like the Ramones managed to tour the world while some of their members were without the ability to play guitar and sing at the same time. The Ramones got by with the energy and attitude of their performance. For the final piece of the pie, look at Bob Dylan! Can’t sing, stiff as a board on stage, but as a songwriter he was spectacular. Most musicians fall somewhere in between those examples. You can too. So grab that old Yamaha and get ready for the grind. email@example.com
There’s a guidebook for every traveler
IO PAT W NO N OPE
Stephanie Radcliffe SPECIAL TO IMPRINT
on weekends i wear vinyl.
Rough Guides Pros: Their country and region guides have beautiful photographs and extensive information. There are also Rough Guides for “First-Time” travels to Asia, Europe and even around the world. They provide invaluable pre-trip planning information for longer trips abroad. They’re also the most technologically savvy of the guidebooks, with an online store where cheap e-guides (including the fantastic mini-city guides and maps) can be downloaded for less than $10. Cons: The style is less chatty than the Let’s Go and Lonely Planet guides—if you’re looking for a
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If you’re one of the lucky few whohave been saving your pennies to travel, it’s important to weigh your options before buying a travel guide. With the amount of information on the net, some might say travel guides have become unnecessary. But, if you’re planning a longer trip or you’re heading out without a firm itinerary, they can become invaluable. Just try to keep them hidden on the road—nothing screams “tourist” louder than a guidebook.
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bullet point guide telling you exactly what to visit without the background info, this isn’t it. Like Lonely Planet, there are also theme guides, such as Skiing and Snowboarding in North America, but not as many. Cost: $14-$36 Best if — You’re an adventurous traveler looking to go off the beaten path. Lonely Planet Pros: Sometimes, it’s all in the name. These guides are the best known for a reason—they’re brilliantly researched with gorgeous photos and a massive amount of information written in a casual, humorous style. Their “shoestring” guides are the definitive low-budget travel guides, and their website has great trip-planning resources. Cons: Their ubiquitous nature can lead you on the path to an unofficial Lonely Planet tour if you only stick to the suggested accommodations, activities and restaurants. They weigh a little more than other guides and it’s reflected in the cost. Also, their maps—to put it bluntly—suck. Cost: $16-$38 Best if — You’re somewhere in the middle — adventurous, but you still want to see the major sites.
FRIDAY, MAY 6, 2005
Mixtape madness â€” work-out music Itâ€™s almost summer, and you know the drill: trade in your long-johns, slap on the shorts and take those pasty-white winter thighs around the block a few times. And in case you need some choice cuts to make your 60 daily minutes of exercise fly by, give these a try: Olivia Newton-John â€” Physical This tune, still sexy after almost 24 years, is a given. Not only is the melody nimble, energetic and fun (prime material for big strides on the treadmill), but the anxious lyrics about ending a first date with a romp in the sack promote weight loss in the boudoir. Also, the video â€” in which muscle-dudes bust moves on exercise equipment before deserting poor Olivia to rendezvous with each other â€” wasoneoffewvideosintheearly â€˜80swith a hint of homoeroticism to it. And if anything speaks of gym culture better
Sir Mix-A-Lot â€” Baby Got Back In 1992, Sir Mix-A-Lot did the unthinkable by praising hefty female derrieres in song. He got in trouble with feminist groups and his career was derailed. Today, 50 Cent sidesteps a sense of humour to rap about subjugating women by being their â€œP.I.M.P.â€? and his star canâ€™t rise quickly enough. Oy. Do your crunches to this smile-inducing track; also, stop worrying if your buttâ€™s too big and instead envision a world in which Fiddyâ€™s â€œCandy Shopâ€? is torn down to make room for â€œTone Locâ€™s House of Exotic Weaves Nâ€™ Shit.â€?
Red Hot Chili Peppers â€” Higher Ground One afternoon, I caught a movie on TV called Center Stage, in which a bunch of
ballet academy students dance, dream and develop bulimia on their way to success. In one scene, the young hopefuls leap around to anonymous pop songs before
Adam & Keith McCune The Rats of Hamelin Moody Publishers
This is a complicated little story. A town at war with the pipers guild, a child at war with his father, both at war with memories of things from the past. All of the people hold onto memories, stories and the past, and no one knows how to forgive or
invoked in me. Like other classics, This Present Darkness, or The Narnia Chronicles or many other, this is a book I will return to again and again and each time it will drive me deeper to prayer and to seek justice in this world but always justice tempered by mercy. As Johannes states in the book, â€œMy life as a piper was going to be hard, harder than I had ever imagined. Apprenticeship was over â€” now the clubs and arrows were real. The grim weariness in the pipelordâ€™s face, watchful for the next attackâ€” now that would be my weariness. I would always be a pilgrim.â€? I would re-write this paragraph for my life as, â€œMy life as a Christian is going to be hard, harder than I ever imagined. Apprenticeship is overâ€” now it is time to enter the battle. Time to be on guard against the evil one who wanders to and fro in the earth. I will always be on a quest!â€? And with that, this book calls us forth to enter the spiritual battle. â€” Steven R. McEvoy
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John Twelve Hawks The Traveler Doubleday Canada
This is an amazing book. I read between 150 and 200 books a year and I must say that this is one of the best books I have read in a decade. It is a cross between the Matrix and Blade Runner, or Dan Brownâ€™s Angels and Demons and a Tom Clancy novel. Or like a book by little-known author James Bryon Huggins, it has mystery, suspense and intrigue, weapons and people who know how to use them. The main premise is that there is a war going on in this world, but it is a war that most are unaware of. Like all wars there are two sides, The Harlequinâ€™s and the Tabula or as they prefer to be called â€œThe Brethren.â€? The Harlequins are warriors committed to protecting the Travelers;
46 KING ST. N. UPTOWN WATERLOO
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Nine Inch Nails â€” Wish Kelis â€” Caught Out There Iâ€™ve lumped these two very different songs together for a reason â€” a lot of people work out at times of mounting stress and/or anger to help themselves gel. So pick your tune depending on the kind of despair youâ€™re more likely to be bombarded with: is it (a) the â€œeveryone is out to get me, so Iâ€™ll exercise until Iâ€™m thin enough that they can see my blackened soul betweenmyfragilebones!â€?angstofMr.Reznor, or (b) the â€œI... hate you... so much... right now, societyâ€™s perception of female beauty!â€? sassiness of Kelis? Of course, either one could get you so disenfranchised with life in general that you give up personal fitness and retire to a life of Cheetos and ennui. Everyoneâ€™s a winner! firstname.lastname@example.org
Travelers are people who have the ability to send their life energy from their body and travel to other realms. They are lonely isolated people who live to serve. The Travelers often become gurus or healers or prophets. The Travelers, after returning from a different plane of existence, return changed and their views of life challenge other people to look at their own lives and seek something more. The Tabula on the other hand want to control the world. They want to have control over every personâ€™s life. Michael and Gabriel Corrigan are brothers and believed to be the last descendants of Travelers. Michael ends up with the Tabula and Gabriel with the Harlequinâ€™s. This becomes both a battle between good and evil and a battle between brothers, like Cain and Abel of old. Also of significance is their names, as only three angels are named by name in the Bible and the brothers each bare one of those three names. The book is a literary treasure filled with religious and literary reference from around the world and across traditions. It is a book for book lovers who will be intrigued by finding all the references, yet the story is strong enough to capture the imagination of even the most casual of readers. I believe this is a book anyone could enjoy, and I can only hope that the characters will return in a sequel to continue the story. â€”Steven R. McEvoy
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Daft Punk â€” Harder, Better, Faster, Stronger Common sense suggests that this 2001 Eurodisco track should be annoying: itâ€™s not much more than a robotic, heavilyvocoderedvoicesingingthe same interchanging mantra about doing things faster to make us stronger over the same interchanging jaunty electro-pop rhythm. But it just builds into something so catchy you have to hear it again, and any song that can trigger your beta endorphins so non-
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Traveling through life
Even Fear Factor fans will like this book move forward. It is the story of justice and mercy. For too long Johannes the Master Pipers Apprentice, on his first solo mission focuses on justice and forgets mercy. This is a great tale of mystery and suspense and redemption. The redemption is both personal and corporate. In this story the Pipersâ€™ Guild represents the church and to enter the pipe-world through piping is to enter the spiritual realm through prayer. Though this story is not explicitly Christian much can be read into it. It would be a great read for a Christian, a family or the common man on the street. Barry Lopez in Crossing Open Ground states: â€œI felt exhilaration, and a deeper confirmation of the stories. The mundane tasks which awaited me I anticipated now with pleasure. The stories had renewed me in a sense of the purpose of my life. This feeling, an inexplicable renewal of enthusiasm after story telling, is familiar to many people.â€? These are the feelings this book
finally busting loose with this chestnut. I then realized that the Peppersâ€™ fantasticelastic gang-group take on Stevie Wonderâ€™s â€œHigher Groundâ€? is the perfect song to â€œjazzerciseâ€? to. That said, this discovery is better left in theory than in practice.
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F EATURES My grandfather’s war, 60 years on FRIDAY, MAY 6, 2005 MAY 6, 2005 FRIDAY,
Tea time! - page 12
As long as I can remember, my grandfather was always telling us stories about his experiences in the Second World War. Up until now, other than his oral history, physical evidence other than his medals has been hard to come by. My grandfather never mounted his war memorabilia or had it in anything as formal as a scrapbook. A few years ago, some photographs surfaced. Recently my grandfather rediscovered a shoebox full of letters and war memorabilia. Long hidden, it now sits safely on a shelf. Until recently, I had not read any of the them. The past week has seen a flurry of press coverage at home and abroad about the 60th Anniversary of VE Day, the day hostilities formally ended in Europe. In reality, the war was not over until August 1945 when Japan capitulated. But for Europeans, VE Day was a day for celebration. Two weeks shy of his twenty-third birthday, and after the long push into the Netherlands, my grandfather, Signalman Edwin B. Moogk was on leave in a small English town. He was relieved to be in a country where civilians spoke English after three years of fighting through Europe. As a man in uniform on VE Day he didn’t need to buy drink for himself all day. Though in my early years it never occurred to me, I recently remembered that I was exactly 60 years younger than he was. With each 60th anniversary commemoration, the age that he remembered was the age that I was. Anytime I would watch archival film in the past few years, those men —
boys really — were not much different in age than I was. When I originally pitched this column to my editor, I had hoped that I might be able to locate a letter written in early May 1945 and compare my grandfather’s thoughts to those that were displayed in the news reels and radio broadcasts. Unfortunately, the box of letters that I have only dates until mid-1942. For my grandfather, 1942 was an important year. In spring 1942, his mother died of leukemia when he had just turned 20. His family back home had tried to ease the news to him in several well-spaced letters that his mother was dying and finally died. Unfortunately, only two letters arrived, including the one that announced her death, within close succession. Fortunately for his mother, his family was able to arrange for a oneway broadcast home just weeks before she died so that she could hear his voice one last time. August 1942 saw the disastrous Dieppe raid where many Canadian soldiers were killed, wounded or taken prisoner. As a radio operator, my grandfather was set to be driving one of the first vehicles onto the beach. A stroke of luck and stubborness meant that he was on leave when the troops hit the beaches. My grandfather says the night he returned to base was one of the quietest as the invansion troops trickled in. Practically everyone else was part of the invasion. To this day, he is able to pick his vehicle out of photographs, knocked out with feet of the shoreline. Among the letters, I found a newspaper clipping about the his regiment, detailing the fate of a few of the invasion force. “A well liked man,” says a hand written notation about a man killed on the beach. After 1942, my grandfather’s letters and personal effects were collected by his older sister. It is hoped that the
collection has worked its way down the family tree. With luck I can locate them soon. The collection that I have seen consists of several dozen letters sent to his parents and his siblings. Wartime correspondence was closely censored for any information that might help the enemy. As a result, the letters consist of recounts of day-to-day life. I examined one letter at length to gain an understanding for what kind of experience my grandfather had. It was amazing how, across sixty years, many traits of have made their way through to me. The letter was written as a train of thought, much the same way that I write my first drafts today. Modesty also sneaks through. As he writes in thanks for a parcel that the family had sent to him, “I didn’t think I was worth so much attention when it comes to parcels.” Perhaps the most intriguing thing that I discovered, is that many of the letters were written with green ink. Green ink is the same colour that I use for my correspondence today. Across the years, much stays the same. Time has not been kind to memories or artifacts. That which was as clear as a bell has faded with distance. Some of the letters themselves have water spots, or otherwise illegible sections that only my grandfather might be able to decipher. For 10 years I have meant to discover the full story behind my grandfather’s war experiences. Now 60 years on, I have the chance. This summer, I hope to be able to sit down with my grandfather and rediscover with him what his war was. Family lore does not record any huge heroics. Instead, he volunteered, he kept his head down, he did his job, and he survived. Were it not for him, or men and women like him, the world might have been a different place. Unknown sacrifices can be easily
COURTESY EDWIN MOOGK
Signalman Edwin Moogk, in a photo taken in Glasgow, Scotland sometime before 1943. squandered. I to never have his sacrifices forgotten. For the people, who as the actor and veteran William Hutt, recently said, “experienced death before they had experienced life” the six years of the
Second World War left a lasting impression.They fought for a better world, each in their own small way. For that, we should be greatful. email@example.com
Election fever: catching up on Canadian politics Tom Levesque IMPRINT STAFF
With new revelations arriving daily from Parliament Hill, it is easy for the politically un-obsessed to lose sight of the big picture. Recent events in Ottawa have played out like a drama, or perhaps even a circus. Here’s a look at where we came from — and where we’re headed. A few months ago, Canada’s first minority parliament since 1979 looked like it might work. Paul Martin’s Liberals unveiled a budget with more support for Canada’s military and minor tax cuts, prompting Stephen Harper to say the Conservative Party could support it in principle — or at least not oppose it. But the tide of co-operation changed as Groupaction marketing chief Jean Brault testified at Justice John Gomery’s ongoing inquiry into the sponsorship scandal. The testimony was at first placed under a publication ban to provide Brault
with a fair criminal trial at a later date. Despite the ban, Brault’s stories of envelopes stuffed with taxpayers’ money and secret donations to the Liberal party were leaked to an American blog. Political chaos erupted when Justice Gomery partially lifted the publication ban on the news that Brault’s trial would be held at a later date, the Globe and Mail reported on April 7. Just minutes after the ruling, the Canadian media went into a reporting frenzy and widespread speculation about the demise of the Liberal government surfaced. On April 19, after polls showed the Conservatives leading in most provinces, the two major national parties quickly attempted to take control of the timing of the next election. The Conservatives, with the support of the other opposition parties, planned to introduce a motion to control the timing of future opposition days — periods when opposition parties can control Parliament’s agenda — while
Liberal House Leader Tony Valeri cancelled upcoming opposition days to prevent the motion from being introduced, an April 19 CTV.ca news story stated. At the committee level, Liberal MP Karen Redman filibustered a motion to set the next opposition day. The procedural battle was eventually won by the opposition parties, setting the stage for a possible June election. The chaos in Parliament, the ongoing sponsorship testimony and, presumably, disappointing poll numbers prompted the Prime Minister to deliver a rare prime time address to the nation on April 21. During the televised address, Martin said, “those who are in power are to be held responsible, and that includes me,” adding that he would call a general election “within 30 days of the publication of [Justice Gomery’s] final report and recommendations.” Harper called Martin’s speech “a party
leader playing for time, begging for another chance,” while NDP Leader Jack Layton suggested “there will be more people that are calling for some accountability, perhaps in the form of an election.” But Layton turned out to be Martin’s saving grace when he offered an ultimatum: drop corporate tax cuts from the budget in exchange for social programs, and the NDP would support the government until the budget received royal ascent. Martin eventually agreed to add $4.6 billion in new social programs while moving tax cuts for large corporations to a separate bill. Harper’s response was direct: “Mr. Martin and Mr. Layton think 4.6 billion dollars worth of taxpayers money is the price to make corruption go away, I wonder if the taxpayers of Canada will think the same thing,” as quoted in a CFRA news story April 26. The temporary Liberal-NDP alliance
has created dangerous arithmetic in the House of Commons. The Liberals and NDP together hold 150 seats, while the Conservatives and Bloc have 153. The three independents hold the balance of power. Ex-Liberal Carolyn Parrish has said she would support the government, while former Liberal David Kilgour and ex-Conservative Chuck Cadman have been non-committal. In May 2, Macleans.ca said Cadman and two Conservative MPs have been receiving treatment for cancer, but all have said they would show up for any confidence vote. Assuming all members vote, the Liberals would need all three independents and the tie-breaking vote of Liberal Speaker Peter Milliken to stay afloat. And that puts us where we are today — waiting for that all-important confidence vote. firstname.lastname@example.org
Tea types for everyone Darren Hutz IMPRINT STAFF
One lump or two govâ€™na? Spot of tea for the missus? Nothing washes down a scone â€” I mean cookie â€” better than a nice cuppa tea. If youâ€™re in the mood for a hot beverage, sometimes thereâ€™s nothing better than tea; an alternative to coffee. Tea originated in China, where it is part of a 5,000 year old legend. The drink spread to Japan and, through trade with Europe, eventually to the whole world. Chinese tea is traditionally served as loose leaf. The tea bag was invented by Americans and the western world has been happily teabagging ever since. One of the great things about tea is its sim plicity. Tea leaves are harvested then treated to give them their brown colour. Tea is also just about the cheapest thing you can drink next to tap water. If you buy your own tea from a grocery store, it may cost you a whopping three cents a cup. For those of us who donâ€™t know the difference between Oolong and strawberry jam, hereâ€™s a simple guide to the many varieties of tea. You can break it down into three basic groups: the black, the herbal and the green. Each type of tea comes with different requirements and popular ways of drinking them. Black teas
When most people say tea, they mean black tea. It is dark in colour, usually a deep brown, orange or red. It usually looks black in a mug, thus the name. Black tea is usually served with milk and sugar and is usually caffeinated. The cheapest and most common kind of black tea (what I like to call butt water) is Orange Pekoe. If you ask for a tea at a restaurant, thatâ€™s what youâ€™ll
than Iâ€™d care to count including Irish Breakfast, English Breakfast, Lady Grey, Darjeeling and Prince of Wales.
FRIDAY, MAY 6, 2005
This category refers to fruity and flowery light-coloured teas. They arenâ€™t technically teas because they usually lack any actual tea leaves, instead they contain a variety of herbs and flowers. Herbal teas vary widely in colour and taste based on whatever fruit or flower they are made from. Many remedy teas fall into this group including Echinacea tea. One of the most common herbal teas is chamomile, which has a light flavour. These are rarely served with milk or sugar.
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get. The most common brand is Red Rose. This generic brew is rather bland but rarely offensive. Another popular black tea is Earl Grey, which is very similar to Orange Pekoe but with a hint of bergomot. Bergomot adds a distinct eucalyptus lemony flavour to the tea. One of my personal favourites is the cinnamon and spice-flavoured Chai. There are more varieties of black tea
Typically more popular in Asian cuisine, green tea is green because the tea leaves are not treated the way that black tea leaves are. Green tea has numerous health benefits such as reduced rates of heart disease and cancer. You can get green varieties of most black teas, which are often brewed with rice or jasmine. They go well with sushi. Thatâ€™s a basic introduction to the world of hot tea. Tune in next issue when we tackle iced tea and bubble tea. email@example.com
How to throw a successful Beer B Q Jeff Anstett IMPRINT STAFF
There is no better way to celebrate with your friends than by throwing a barbecue. Wait. Scratch that. There is only one better way: throw a Beer B Q. Beer B Qâ€™s are a lot like barbecues except they are cooler, more fun and have more beer. Step one: choose a date.
First of all, pick a four- week period within which to hold your Beer B Q. Think of when your potential guests are available. If itâ€™s during the spring term and lots of your friends are on coop or have summer jobs, early week days will suck for them. Once youâ€™ve decided on the day of the week, look at the long range weather forecast for the month and pick the day thatâ€™s supposed to be the rainiest. Since science (in general) is a sham, the weather forecast will always be wrong. The rainiest day should end up being sunny, with a low of 22 C and a high of 28 C. Step two: the invitations.
Since only grade school kids send and receive invitations to parties, invite lots of grade school kids; they canâ€™t drink as much beer, but theyâ€™re the only ones who will get your Sponge
Bob jokes. On second thought, just skip the invitations instead and avoid Meghanâ€™s Law altogether. When choosing a guest list, remember to picture the party. â€œWait, did I invite Tom and Mike? Oh man, I should have known that would be trouble since Tom accidentally slept with Mikeâ€™s girlfriend and sister.â€? Now your Beer B Q has been ruined by a guy with a slutty girlfriend and sister beating the crap out of some guy whoâ€™s obviously cooler than you. Also remember that if you have multiple groups of friends, try to organize the invites so that you can reach maximum integration. This is when all of your friends make friends with your other friends. They then form one big group of friends who sit around and talk about the last episode of Friends and how good bad it was.
should come around the side gate since weâ€™ll all be in the backyard and â€œsee you there,â€? that would be an abuse of my powers as a columnist and I could get in trouble. (Remember: side gate.) Step four: Donâ€™t tell anyone you live in Kitchener.
Give people directions to your place but never mention theyâ€™ll have to leave Waterloo. Give them vague but precise directions using landmarks instead of street names. Follow the expressway until you reach the fourth exit; make a left at the top of the ramp. Go past the McDonaldâ€™s, turn at the Food Basics. Before they know it, theyâ€™re in Kitchener, Waterlooâ€™s bigger, uglier sister who rarely has dates, but frequently has herpes. Go figure. Step five: make blessed music.
Step three: spread the word.
Depending on how big or small you want your shindig to be, you can use word of mouth, e-mail, telephone or take out an ad in Imprint. If you cannot afford to take out an ad in Imprint, become a columnist so that you can blatantly abuse your powers. For instance, if I were to say that Iâ€™m hosting a Beer B Q on May 9, and that people should show up around six and that itâ€™s BYOB and that everyone
Nothing gets a group of friends together like some good old-fashioned party music. Be sure to slip in some trite, clichĂŠ summer songs with your good songs and then remark about how you donâ€™t know how that song got on your play list. â€œSummer of â€˜69â€? by Bryan Adams? How the devil did that get added to my play list? Well I guess weâ€™ll never know.â€? see BEER B Q, page 13
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FRIDAY, MAY 6, 2005
Stop staring at my headlights If I ask you to conjure an image of a “car girl” in your head, what do you see? Do you envision an attractive blonde in a barely-there bikini perched on top of a muscle or sport compact car? If so, I would like to introduce myself to you. If not, I thank you in advance for being a part of the (slowly emerging) minority. I’ve been exposed to the automotive industry my entire life with both my parents working in it. I rebelled, so to speak, by playing with my dolls and wouldn’t even let Barbie drive her Corvette until I was about six years old. When my father decided to get rid of one of his two gorgeous trucks, each modified to include 454 cubic inch engines, he picked me up in his arms, and asked me, “Kelly, which one do you want?” From that point on, the truck I picked was “my truck” and is still in the family today. For my 19th birthday, I bought myself my first new car and began modifying it. Now, at 22 years old, I am president and co-founder of Temptress Tuning (TT), an all-girls sport compact car club. I’m also writing this column. So yeah, I guess you could call me a “car girl.” I’ll even play up the car-bunny aspect once in a while, like when I wore a mini skirt and bikini top during a charity car wash Temptress Tuning promoted last summer. But when it comes down to it, I know my shit — as more than a few
astounded males in the K-W area can confirm. As new millennium females raise the bar in every aspect of their lives, I’m simply shocked when I meet resistance from guys who doubt my knowledge, capabilities and experience. Unfortunately the generalization that women don’t understand and aren’t interested in the technical aspect of cars is hard to shake. More than a few times I have heard “oh you just want to date the car guys” when the girls and I mention we are planning to attend a race or show event. One part of the sport-compact culture I’ve been deeply involved with over the past couple years is the car club aspect. Experience has led me to believe that, in some cases, girls need to prove themselves to their male counterparts, in terms of automotive knowledge, before being accepted as an equal. Partially, this is what TT aims to help any female car enthusiast overcome. Additionally, as an all-girls car club we encourage other girls to learn more about cars, whether it’s to develop an interest in the car scene or just to have some knowledge of the vehicle they drive. Over the past few years, I have met more than a few other women who are banding together to overcome the “car girl” stereotype. Every one of us has experienced an encounter with a resistant male and each of us has met many amazing male friends who are completely accepting of our place in the car enthusiast culture. It’s true that girls have always been a part of automotive culture, but as models. I never expect this to end and if a female today chooses this aspect of the scene, all the power to her. Part of the mandate of many car groups I have been involved with has been to bring automo-
Beer B Q Continued from page 12
tive enthusiasts together, regardless of manufacturer, modifications and most importantly to me, gender. A select few of these groups have decided to have female “models” pose with their members’ cars. Again, I don’t have a problem with this. What I do have a problem with is how the girls are being promoted and how it conflicts with the feminist movement. Marketed as a way for females to become more involved in the sport compact scene, my first impression of these initiatives was that the group was promoting girls becoming involved in the technical aspect of cars, while also promoting the fact that although involved in a malecentric hobby, a girl can still enjoy traditional feminine interests as well, like fashion. Further inquiry revealed, however, that these groups have no requirement for automotive knowledge. In fact, a source has revealed to me, most of the “model” applicants were girlfriends of the club’s male members. These girls previously showed no interest in learning about or working on cars. It’s possible that once these girls are further exposed to the car scene through the modelling aspect, they may take a further interest in the technical, hands-on work girls such as those members of TT are involved in. I have a strong feeling this won’t be the case. While it saddens me to think that after so much time inequality continues to reign supreme throughout the car scene, I have another idea — since sex sells, and the female automotive market is growing daily, ladies, let’s put our boyfriends on top of our cars!
If your friends are musicians, try and get them to play. The only thing better than good music is good live music. I usually give my neighbours a heads-up before throwing a party involving live music. I threw a Beer B Q last summer where some friend in a band threw an impromptu show. At one point I was walking someone to their car way down the street and I could hear the band playing. It sounded awesome since it was in the middle of a guitar solo and the sound just bounced off all the houses. But if I could hear it down the street, my neighbours could too.
Step six: let flow the sacred spirits.
Most people are considerate enough to bring something to a party. Though everyone’s on a budget, all people cool enough to come to one of your parties is cool enough to bring their own drinks. That said, I like to have a little extra around — some to donate and some to sell. I try to keep a 12-pack and a twenty-sixer on hand in case some idiot actually forgets to hit up the LCBO. One must realize, however, that there is a cost to hosting an event like this. You should expect to spend around fifty bucks for food, drink and damages to person and property. Step seven: sit back and enjoy the wonder you have created.
Hosting a party is no fun if you’re busy looking after everyone else all night. Mingle, chat up the ladies or stand back and let your friends toast to your health and prosperity. Finally, remember the golden rule of hosting a party: never be the drunkest person in the room.
Welcome to Cambodia, welcome home
Adam Kaufman SPECIAL TO IMPRINT
Three weeks ago I moved to Cambodia, not where I thought I would be when I graduated. Twenty-seven hours, three continents, and 12 time zones after saying goodbye to my mother, I arrived in Phnom Penh, where I would begin working with a local non-governmental organization to bring clean water and agricultural tools to the rural poor. I received a warm reception. I was taken to the office where an IDE worker greeted me and gave me the grand tour, introducing me to all of the IDE office staff. This included Liz, an Australian who is one of only two other non-Cambodians in the office, and Sunday, director of research and development, with whom I will be working throughout the next several months. Everyone was extremely friendly, smiling and greeting me enthusiastically. I quickly came to remember why the Khmer have a reputation for huge smiles. Much to my delight, I also discovered EWB’s previous volunteer with IDE Cambodia had left me not only two new bike helmets and a motorcycle helmet, but also a hammock, a mosquito net and, better still, a bike! While eating lunch with Sunday and Liz, the conversation soon turned to our families. Sunday discussed his recent divorce and the custody problems he is having with his ex-wife and her family. He also talked of the family members lost under the Pol Pot regime. It was during this lunch that I began to realize that the Khmer smile and chuckle is used not only to convey friendliness, but also to smooth over awkwardness. Sunday laughed awkwardly as he spoke of the
loss of family members in the genocide. Of all the possible reactions to genocide I had imagined (anger, sadness or denial) laughter seemed unusually disturbing. It seemed that Sunday didn’t want to be rude by burdening the conversation with something as unpleasant and embarrassing as the years under the Khmer Rouge. I’ve since noticed that when mentioning the genocide, Cambodians always use the name of Pol Pot. The Khmer Rouge themselves are never explicitly mentioned. It’s only an initial impression, but it seems that with so many former Khmer Rouge still involved in politics, it is considered inappropriate to blame them for the atrocities. Culturally, there seems to be a desire to move on with life, to continue to build, and in some ways try to ignore the nasty history of 1975-1979; hence the awkward laughter. Why discuss the genocide? It’s something of a national embarrassment. From what I’ve read, Jews initially acted the same way after the Holocaust, as did Rwandans. I’m now living a block from the office in a flat that is by Cambodian standards large enough for a whole family. I know this because I’ve met and chatted with my neighbours using my limited command of Khmer. It’s also equipped with air conditioning, a fridge, a TV and a stereo. Thus far I’ve avoided using the A/C on general principle. I’m still a romantic idealist at heart. One day in Cambodia and already I have had an opportunity to see some of the folks for whom we’re working. Heading into the field hoping to promote our ceramic water filter project in three small villages in Prey Veng province, the workers at IDE agreed to let me tag along and observe. Without being able to speak Khmer, there’s only so much I can learn at first but still, I’m really looking forward to it. Adam Kaufman is a systems design grad, working as an intern for Engineers Without Borders (EWB). His internship in Cambodia will last one year. firstname.lastname@example.org
How far will you go?
Congratulations to Mohamed Farid and Svitlana Tumanova for being selected as Microsoft scholars! Mohamed and Svitlana will each receive a scholarship, compliments of Microsoft Corporation, for the 2005-2006 academic year. You could be selected as a scholar next year. Visit our website to learn more about our programs.
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SCIENCE & TECHNOLOGY Autonomous robotic 14
FRIDAY, MAY 6, 2005
FRIDAY, APRIL 1, 2005
Fruit flies linked to humans Jasjit Banwait
SPECIAL TO IMPRINT
As the brutal cold diminishes into long sun-filled days of bliss, woollen sweaters come off and are banished to the back of the closet. However, the warmer weather brings seasonal creatures, such as incessantly buzzing, pesky fruit flies that attack your helpless fruit. But that fly taking a bite out of your golden delicious may be more like you than ever perceived. Apparently humans are not so far removed from our fly enemies, as a recent study discovered humans and flies share similar wound-healing genes. In the early metazoan era, we
shared worm-like ancestors who relied on their protective skin; half a billion years later, we continued to share wound-repairing genes. The study, conducted by researchers of the University of California San Diego, isolated a wound repair gene in the fruit fly known scientifically as Drosophila melanogaster. This gene, dubbed “grainy head” for its mutant appearance on the fly, has the same response in mice, which was shown in a separate Australian study. Both insect and mammal have visibly different outer layers of skin; the insect’s is fibrous, while mammals, including humans, have layers of dead
cells mixed with proteins and fats. But the similarity between mammals and Drosphilia is seen on a genetic level; in times of injury, the proteins link in the broken area using similar “grainy head” genes, triggering wound repair. With such similarities, research on these genes is highly beneficial for humans as it may lead to discoveries such as rapid wound repair in injured patients as well as new ways to treat skin cancer. So next time you swat at our miniscule distant cousin, remember it has a rapid wound repair system that can withstand the battle. Save your energy and eat the defenceless fruit instead.
Edythe London and Julio Licinio of the UCLA Neuropsychiatric Institute suggests a hormone in the brain influences obesity. Increases in leptin, a hormone known to have an important role in body weight and metabolism, were shown to reduce cravings for food. Morbidly obese subjects lost about half of their weight over the 18-month study.
Want to live on Mars?
Fat mice from Mars come to earth Darren Hutz IMPRINT STAFF
I’m not fat, I’m leptin deficient!
With the use of advanced MRI technology, a study by Drs.
The new Mars Reconnaissance Orbiter (MRO) was transported last week to the Kennedy Space Center in preparation for its August launch this year. The orbiter could possibly locate habitats suitable for life on our neighbouring planet. It will seek out features related to water, a necessity of life. The MRO is scheduled to
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This spring, reach out to farmers in the developing world.
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cars debut at UW
Durshan Ganthan IMPRINT STAFF
Would you trust a fully automated car, one that moved on its own without any user interaction? Many would not, but Mike Peasgood, a PhD candidate in mechanical engineering, decided to test it out slowly by creating RobotRacing, in which teams create autonomous robots to race against one another. “The idea for the competition grew out of an interest in mobile robotics,” Peasgood explained. “The goal was to create a competition that would get more students interested in mobile robotics and to raise the profile of robotics research here at UW.” Clark said the purpose of the competition was to “bring mobile robots and autonomous systems to the UW community.” It not only made people aware of the technology, but allowed them to learn how it worked and build real systems in groups. RobotRacing’s inaugural event, Autonomous Racing Challenge 2005, was held on April 23 in EIT 1015. Ten teams with a total of 50 participants registered for the event, and four of
MICHAEL L. DAVENPORT
MICHAEL L. DAVENPORT
A UW Robotics member adjusts the final touches on their radio-controlled vehicle. those teams qualified for the races. “The vehicles had to autonomously drive around a six-metre long racetrack: on a straight drag race, an oval circuit and a figure-eight circuit,” said Peasgood. “The goal was to finish 10 laps in the shortest possible time; however, penalty time was added for crashes into the walls and other vehicles.” The UW Robotics Club, led by Chris Fox, won the $1,000 first prize. “The competition was definitely fun and totally worth it,” said Wong. firstname.lastname@example.org
CAMPUS BULLETIN ANNOUNCE Wanna ... live purposefully - lead passionately - influence powerfully? Twenty20 welcomes you! Twice a month - bus pickup at UW, SLC at 6:45 p.m and WLU underpass at 7:00 p.m. For more info call 744-7447 or www.kcf.org or email@example.com. Philosophy in Action. Join a discussion that looks at how philosophy applies to everyday life. Saturdays and Wednesdays at 7:00 p.m. in downtown Kitchener - 742-4433 (leave message). When your pet goes missing, a valued member of your family is lost – register for your free pet ID tag bearing your pet’s name and your contact telephone numbers. This is a life time registration for your pet and if the tag becomes lost simply contact Creature Comfort for a free replacement. On the other side of the tag is a unique serial number linked to your pet’s individual information, complete with a toll free number, which works from anywhere in North America. Call 664-3366 for more info or e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org. Grand National Quilt Show 2005-Airborne from May 8 to June 26 at the Kitchener-Waterloo Art Gallery, 101 Queen Street, N., Kitchener. Call 5795860 for info.
UPCOMING Saturday, May 7, 2005 Free composter distribution today from 7:00 a.m. to 12 p.m., while quantities last, at the Kitchener Memorial Auditorium, East Avenue, Kitchener. Composters are free and residents are invited to contribute non-perishable food item or cash donation to the Food Bank of Waterloo Region and the Cambridge
Self-Help Food Bank. Wednesday, May 11, 2005 Alzheimer Society presents “Grey Power Education Series 2005” from 7:00 to 8:30 p.m. at Luther Village Chapel, 139 Father David Bauer Drive, Waterloo. Call 742-1422 for info/registration. Thursday, May 12, 2005 Sexual Assault Awareness Month – lecture series – “Sexual Violence: An International Perspective” from 12:00 to 1:00 p.m. at Regional Municipality of Waterloo, 150 Frederick Street, Kitchener with speakers Amnesty International.
FINANCIAL AID April 2005 Scholarships Available: Millennium Excellence Award Program - National In-Course Awards for full-time students completing 2nd year in any program. The award value is from $4,000 to $5,000! UW deadline is June 1, 2005.
VOLUNTEER ACCKWA - The Aids Committee of Cambridge, Kitchener, Waterloo and area is a non-profit organization that is volunteer based. As a volunteer at ACCKWA you can make a valuable contribution to our organization and offer assistance in resolving the concerns of AIDS in our community. We are currently seeking volunteers to fill the following areas: reception, outreach, drivers, office cleaning, etc. If you are interested in helping or know of anyone who would be, please call Rana at 570-3687, ext 313. Mandatory training is May 17 and 19 from 7:00 to 9:00 p.m.
SPORTS FRIDAY, MAY 6, 2005 FRIDAY, MAY 6, 2005
Argos “can’t ignore” Waterloo’s Forde Rod McLachlan
Despite appearing on the gridiron in only a trio of games, his numbers reflect the impact he can have on a game’s Ian Forde learned last Thursday the outcome. cliché “It ain’t over until it’s over” may In the first three games of 2004, just have a little more truth to it for him Forde had two touchdowns and rethan he first thought. Acturned five kicks, averaging cording to a report in the 18.4 yards per return. Cambridge Times, after going However, in 2003, he online on April 28 and folwas the Canadian univerlowing the Canadian Footsity leader in kickoff return ball League’s draft, which yards, averaging an impresthe league’s nine teams consive 24 yards per return. duct via conference call, the That same year he also finthird-year history major ished with eight touchturned off his computer downs and 631 receiving with just four picks remainyards. ing, figuring he wasn’t goNevertheless, after missing to be selected. ing the last five games of Ian Forde Shortly thereafter, this past year, Forde’s only Forde, Waterloo’s top wide receiver and other opportunity to display his abilities kick-return specialist, got a call from to the pro clubs came when he attended Warriors football head coach Chris the CFL combine camp in Laval, Quebec Triantafilou, who promptly told him on March 17. he had been selected by the Toronto Seizing upon that chance, Forde’s Argonauts in the last round of the six- star shone brightly. round draft — the 53rd pick out of 53. “He ran the fastest 40 [yards] in the “He was just elated,” said Triantafilou camp,” said UW’s Triantafilou. in an interview with Imprint. “He’s a Luckily, Waterloo’s coaching staff good young man. He worked hard for talked him into staying in the draft, and it.” as a result the defending Grey Cup champs After breaking his leg in the third decided to take a chance on him despite game of the OUA season — a 55-33 loss his prior injury. to York on September 18 — the 22-year“I talk to the kids every year about old all-star and Cambridge native had that [entering the draft],” said serious doubts as to whether he should Triantafilou. “We thought that he could even stay in the draft or not. at least get a CFL camp under his belt.” “The [leg] injury wasn’t that severe,” The Warriors’ boss added that if added Triantafilou. Forde returns to UW for his last year, at However, at that crucial point of the least he’ll still have another year of expeWarriors’ season, the Galt Collegiate rience at the varsity level before returning grad’s absence was monumental. to a second CFL camp in 2006. Should “When we lost Ian we lost the heart that occur, Forde would then know of the team.” what to expect and be able to head into IMPRINT STAFF
another pro camp with more confidence and less uncertainty. “Just going to camp is a good experience and he had a great spring camp [with the Warriors]. “He’s ready to go. He’s always kept himself in good shape.” According to an Argos press release, the Boatmen consider Forde to be “the sleeper” of this year’s draft. “Forde was a great late round bargain,” commented the Argos’ director of player personnel Greg Mohns. “He’s small but you can’t ignore what he did at Waterloo.” Warriors coach Triantafilou disagrees. “I don’t think he’s a sleeper. He was taken and will become a sleeper. “I think it was a good move by the Argos,” said Triantafilou of Toronto’s decision to draft Forde. “They probably said ‘Who’s the best Canadian out there?’ And that’s Ian Forde. That’s what you do with the last pick of the draft. “But ‘Pinball’ [Argos’ coach Michael Clemons] made a mistake by drafting Ian… because Ian has a bigger smile than ‘Pinball.’ Ian is one of those guys. He’s positive.” Both Forde’s physical appearance — he stands only five feet, nine inches tall — and his explosive, agility-driven playing style are eerily similar to Clemons’ when the latter used to wear the double blue before retiring in 2000. Triantafilou added that Forde has a better chance of sticking with the Boatmen if one or two receivers get injured in camp because the Argos’ strategy the last few years has been to have a completely Canadian receiving squad. This has allowed them to have a mainly American defensive line that is much stronger.
PHOTOS COURTESY UW ATHLETICS
UW wide receiver Ian Forde (right) was drafted 53rd overall by the Canadian Football League’s Toronto Argonauts on April 28. If Forde had gone to a team that only wanted one Canadian receiver, his chances of making the cut would have been hindered right from the start. And most importantly, “Anything
Sports: the second-coolest thing in life
For once in my life, I don’t care about sports. I’ve spent the first twenty-one-plus years of my life defending my almostpathetic love of all things athletic, wasting countless hours glued to whatever TSN happened to be broadcasting at any given time. Over the course of my lifetime, I have become a serious sports junkie; the kind that finds himself in nothing but his boxer shorts, covered in a fine film of Doritos nacho cheese dust, glazing at the re-run of a Champion’s League soccer quarterfinal at 4 a.m. I was so obsessed with sports I needed a 12-step program. But that all changed on May 2. That’s the day I met Andi.
Andi Marie Brook McGuire stepped that’s not Andi. That’s how children are; into my life last Monday morning at they take every piece of you and amend it 7:05 a.m., all seven pounds, 12 ounces — and that’s the best feeling in the world. of her. And, at a time when I should To be totally honest though, it was have been recovering from a Sunday still during Andi’s first day here on earth night binge of NBA playoff action and when sports popped into my head again, about seven litres albeit only for a of Coca-Cola, I minute. But ininstead stood stead of hitting up alongside Andi’s TSN.ca to get the And if she never mom — my girllatest scores and wants to pick up a friend Ashly — athletic gossip, I and held my basketball in her life, was thinking daughter for the about how fun it I will love her just very first time. could be waking And, I can honup for Andi’s 6 the same. estly say, that for a.m. hockey practhe very first time tices. in my life, sports was not on my brain’s I thought about a lot more in that radar screen. minute, too — freezing my tail off at Life has a way of prioritizing the barn-like arenas across Ontario, lobimportance of daily boxscores and semi- bing softballs towards home plate durhourly NFL draft updates. The ESPNs ing practice, seeing her first goal tickle of the world make it so easy to lose sight the twine on the soccer pitch. Sure, it of life for the relative unimportance of seems cheesy and idealistic, but I think sport. And the Andis of the world make Andi and I could have a tonne of fun it so easy to lose sight of everything else under the sports umbrella.
And if she never wants to pick up a basketball in her life, if she thinks sports are the most destructive waste of time there is, I will love her just the same. I can’t help it; she’s so much cuter than anything I’ve ever seen on TSN. It’s Wednesday night, going on Thursday morning as I write this column. And, as I sit here feverishly pounding the keys, and as I can almost hear my superior editors at Imprint cursing my name for yet another horribly missed deadline, I look over at beautiful Andi, in bed with her beautiful mom. She lets out a small cry and kicks her legs in the air. I, being the sports nerd I am, immediately think, “hey, that’s a good kick — midfielder, maybe?” Then I give my head a shake. I always thought I would be disappointed if my children showed no interest in sports. But in three days of fatherhood, I’ve learned sports will never mean the same to me again. And I wouldn’t have it any other way. email@example.com
can happen,” added Triantafilou. Forde was unavailable for comment at press time. firstname.lastname@example.org
Got a news tip? Call, drop by or e-mail Imprint. 888-4048, SLC 1116, email@example.com
FRIDAY, MAY 6, 2005
Published on Mar 29, 2011
New research finds same gene in fly and mammal, page 14 It’s tea time with Darren Hutz, page 12 UNIVERSITY OF WATERLOO STUDENT NEWSPAPER UW...