Page 1


JANUARY 28, 2005

:Drama unleashes fringe ,festival Upstart Festival to showcase the talents of Waterloo Dave George-Cosh IMPRINT STAFF

What's better than one play put on by Waterloo students? How about eight of them. This coming February will see the arrival of Upstart 'OS, a drama festival that is being put on by the UW department of drama and speech communication. This festival promises to be better than last year's inaugural performance and will include such plays as Kate Herse!f, a story of a young woman who refuses to be ensnared by life's traps and The Secret Lives of Sexy Women, a glimpse of what the modem dating world can be like for people in their twenties. :Michael Kolodziej, one of the seven creators / performers in Bipolar, Bare comments that "[Upstart '05] gives students a chance to do theatre for a public in an arena that they would be hard pressed to do otherwise." All of these plays aim to push the limits of how we define a night out at the theatre and Kolodziej's Bipolar, Bare and Moses Bogart's Twenty-Three are both no exception. "We're trying to engage the audi~ ence by doing things that aren't usu-

ally done in theatre," said Kolodziejs. "For example, our stage manager, video and audio designers aren't hidden but an active part of our show, as we try to lay bare not only what bipolar disorder is, but theatre as well." , Bogart adds, "I want the impact of our play on the audience to be colossal. I want them to realize that they have just witnessed the birth of a new genre of musical theatre. Never before has a musical been turned into a rock show, like we have done with TllIenty-Three. The audience is going to a rock concert where a play is going to break out." Kolodziej and Twenty-Three director Moses Bogart both have high hopes for their plays in this year's festival. Both have plans to promote their plays if the reaction from audiences is encouraging. Bogart's goal with TllIcnry-Threeis to take it to the Toronto Fringe Festival and to build a career in the musical theatre industry while Kolodziej's goal is to "get our audience to reach a more informed opinion about mental illnesses such as Bipolar Disorder by re-ex~mining their previous perceptions. "If Bipolar, Bare goes over extremely well at Upstart, our group is going to workshop the show to put

it on again in the fall, likely in a bigger theatre in the KW community. Ifwe see the potential to be able to raise more awareness of mental illnesses to a larger community, then we will definitely consider it." The future of the Upstart festival looks bright. Considering that 15 plays were originally shortlisted for inclusion, the quality of next year's festival should improve substantially. Said Kolodziej, "It's hard work to organize the festival and to create but it's worth it for students looking to get experience in a theatre world that's often hard to break into. I hope the organizers and participants continue to try and push the limits for innovative theatre because this is deftnitely the forum to do that." Tickets for Upstart '05 can be purchased at the box office located on the first floor of Hagey Hall, Studio 180 or by calling (519) 888-4908. Cost for tickets are $5 on February 2 ednesday night special) $10 and 9 on February 3-4 and 10-11 and $1525 on February 5 and 12. For more information on Upstart '05 check out department's


VOL 27, NO 24


Upcoming Feds election promises excellent leadership Lauren Fox IMPRINT STAFF

f After being away on co-op for the fall term, coming back in the winter probably feels like you've missed out on a lot and it's hard to get back into the swing of things. Before we start to think about this year's candidates, let's take a look at what 2004-2005s Feds executive team accomplished. Here is a recap of what Becky Wroe, president; RaveelAfzaal, VP finance & administration;John Andersen, VP internal; andJohn Henry, VP education did for UW this year. There have been numerous physical changes to the Feds' businesses. The Bombshelter was scheduled to closeJuly 1,2004 for renovations to the bar area and kitchen. Afzaal explained in November's executive report, "'Ibis project had been halted since it became cost prohibitive. We decided to change the scope ofthe project to make it more affordable. ''The scope now includes renovating the kitchen, changing the flooting, adding new lights and furniture, moving the bars and painting the walls." Delays were also due to simultaneous renovations being done in the Ground Zero/Tim Hortons space. The proposal for a 24-hour Tim Hortonswas signed in April 2004. The

coffee shop opened September 1, and is located in the SLC across from the Feds office. Tim Hortons is operated by UWFood Services and the Federation will receive a percentage ofthe net sales each year. It has been a long-term objective of the Federation to Hnd something that can be done with the Scoops location in thewinterand late fall terms. Wasabi! is a Feds business, with a caterer making the sushi on-site. They plan to sell both ice cream and sushi in the summer term, but they don't know how well sushi-flavoured ice cream will take. We will have to wait and see. Throughout the year, the Feds participated in several initiatives: the bus pass, the task force and the CECS committee, the wall of debt and the Waterloo Student Accommodation Study. Wroe has attempted conversations with the Grand River Transit regarding the non-refundable bus pass, which have been unsuccessful and she is "unwilling to suggest a non-refundable bus pass referendum." In March, Wroe will attempt another route ofcommunication with the GRT. As a side note, Laurier will be holding a referendum regarding a non-refundable bus pass in the near future. See ELECTION. page 5

FIlIP TlIlTEREIT USDIII III lilliE 11fI,11ll1811-_1112 1I1111T_.HIS.CI

Coop Student Services



:3 tacos with your choice

of reM•• " a..a or


rice. 1'M £r.iea.or toa8fiMl _I.d.

at Tatham Centre Room 12

Now DILen Mon -fri 8:30 am - 4:30 pm



"Stay inside. If you go outside bring your toque." Jon Robertson

"I sleep in my dad's longjohns." Nina llie

2B arts

lA physics

"I curl up with my hair." Mike Murray 3A history

1. Put off until later 7. Shakespeare 1 L Tide movement 14. French name for Apple's darling toy 15.IIipbones 16. And the cow goes 17. Wicker bits 18. A falling out 19. \Vire for sound 20. CoJoUfGl1ner 23. Fork prongs 24. Independent Arabian chieftain 25. Uptown \X"aterloo Hteet 27. According to someone 28. Interchangeable blackjack card 29. Romantically stared 30. Stoic attitude 34. John1lv Carson's first network 37. Trendy nineties meat 38. l\1ichael Jordan's campaign \\'ith Nike 39. ThelYdckendofaduchessorabaroness 40. Brown and grey English song bird 44. Highest points 45. American trilogySophmoric of humour 46. Intense dislike 50. House-broken 51. Hebrew shepard, \'7aterloo ave 53. Did a dance 54. Everyone loves this in the ",,'inter 57. \x"atedoo company hegan with cash registers

26. I karning disorders 28. Historical family symbols

58. Toronto football player

59. Physical discomfort 60. Get thee to a nunnery, say

29. British pogey 31. Beginnings of golf? 32. Tasteless and gaudy 33. Trapeze act 34. Internet discussion 35. MedievalItaEan poet 36. Spent the hot summer months 41. \'';;'itnessed 42. Newfoundland's premier offer to 1l1e Innu this week 43. I:vIichaelJackon's claim amongst

61. Atari's big hit 62. A Iayabout 63. Currently missing on most of the North Campus 64. Feel the mood 65. \Vest coas( mammals

Down 1. Violent eruptions 2. Apparently related on tIJe mother's side 3. A teJious address 4. Propcnsitv for ~ctjon

48. Get jumpier 49. Lawn tools , 51. sn.ootet" 5.2. Belinda Stonuch'c; compillly W-aterloo 53. Ms. Lmn's bistm 55. Military out 56. I':uropean currenc), 57. \'>7 O1"ld's third路ia:t:gest employer

8. Proof of innocence 9.i\Iore abundant than usual 1(). The soulless Sial' Trek character II. Misappropriate funds

"I go to Antarctica, so when I come back it's warmer." Frodo Baggins

12.\\'l1'1"( 13. Home to a rare tree, a rattlin' tree 21. Make up for your loss 22. A proven fact

48 undeclared


Jumble Ieme: see the words, guels the laRguagol (fransliterated into English alphabet, if necessary)

zou, dat, bijgevolg, uraag

5. bless, Jimm, koma, sunnudagur DACCNEIIL

"I drink at frat parties." David Couture

"1 don't go to class."

1B arts and business

1B computer science

Mayuran SS

2. shookrea, mez, faks, aydak

6. fordi, allerede, adresse, har





"I find a hot guy to cuddle with." Jiwan Panag 3B psychology

3. su, en~ yo, Ie

7. liatris, lexeme, sendal, roe



4. hedder, hvordan, det, kan




"I sit on my heater." Shaneika Bailey 3A social development studies

"Prase da ia ebit na

proEme phrase in this "~"'r,V''''''~'


a very




ill WPIRG history repeat itself?· Fate of undergraduate fee to be decided again, subject of proposed referendum Kirika Bussell and Neal Moogk-50ulis

Novak, co-ordinator for \~'PIRG,responded specifi.caIlytothepointraisedaboutpaidadvertisingin ImprintforeventssuchastheDavidSuzukipresenThe~teoverrefundablefeeshasonceagainreared tation: ''It's really ironic that we're criticized for its head. Agroup of students is proposing to hold advertisinginourcampusne\¥-spaperforeventswe areferendumontherefundablefeethattheWater1oo aredoing. Ifyou look at the Federation ofStudents PublicInterestResearch Group (\VPIRG) receives - don't they advertise in here and they probably from each student at the beginning of the advertise with a lot more frequency and probably Nic Weber, an opponent to the \,\'PIRG fee, take up a lot more ad space than us. And that's not free." has been circulating a petition to start the referendum process. At-press time, he had received . R.egarding fiscal accountability, Novak apd over 2,300 signatures. 'X'PIRG board member Sharmila Setarnm said "The onus should not be on students to collect that fee-paying members may look at fInancial their refund, the onus should be on \'<'PIRG to records at any another \Y;'PIRG reprecollect the money from students." He elaborated, sentative present. ''It is my mandate to put power into the hands of In addition to opposing the petition onprinstudents. Having a referendum and letting stuciple, W'PIRG argues that the current wording of dents decide is the best way to do this, " he said. the petition fails to present all of the relevant Feds bylaws state that a petition of more than information about the fee, including its refund10 per cent of theelectorate can trigger areferenable status. The organlzation further stresses that dun: on a given issue. they are in no way opU\'\l's annual report, posed to areferendum, We're Waterloo, recendy 'WPIRG's contributions to but take issue with how stated that UWs fuIlt:lx;issueshavebeenprethe campus and ~he . time undergraduate sented from th~ petipopulation exceeded tion. Novak explained Kitchener-Waterloo com- WPIRG's 20,000 forthefirsttime. position, that Currendy refundmunity are valuable colstudents must have able'fees for three stu- , to make an· inlaborations'th,t offer pp- tools formed decision about " dent organizations, \'\'PIRG,RadioCKMS keeping the fee; howportunities for future' and Imprint,are charged ever, this petition does change and growth" to students' tuition not properly fulfill -Daryl Novak those needs. statements and reWPIRG co-ordinator WPIRG further fundable for the first contends thattheissues three weeks ofthe term. remain clouded, as the It is up to each student to initiate the refund, aresponsibility,that Weber petition is hosted online at a would like to see removed from students. web site thatis notaffiliatedwith \'\'PIRG, whose While on campus Wednesday to promote web site is the One-Tonne' Challenge, an event co-sponWhen asked about the consequences ofremovsored by W'PIRG, David Suzuki praised the ing the student fee from \'\'PlRG, Novak replied work that groups like WPIRG and PIRGs in that W'PIRG's contributions to the campus and general do. ''PIRGs are the centre ofactivism for the Kitchener-Waterloo community are valuable people. I congratUlate U\V for having a PIRG." collaborations that offer opportunities for future For this, Suzuki received a round of applause change and growth. Withdrawing the fee would from a packed SLC GteatHalL translate into feweichoices forstudents, according This has been the fourth time that refundable toNovak,becausefewereventswouldbepossible. At this time there are no fonnal plans for the , fees havebeen anissue since 1999. Webercontends that\'\'PIRG spends the majority ofits student fees Federation of Stud~nts to initiate a' referendum on staffsalaries or expensive advertisinginstead of that would coincide with the regular student spending the money on campaigns orissues. Daryl elections. That campaign runs from February 1 to IMPRINT STAFF




Hear ye! Hear ye! Ye olde Imprint

Publications, Waterloo

shall be holding its

ANNUAL GENERAL MEETING on Thursday, ·Februa.ry 17, 2005 at 3:30pm hi the Multi-Purpose Room of the UW Student Life Centre 200 University Avenu, W. Waterloo, Ontario, N2L \361 All members may vote via proxy. *.

WPlRG president Chris Cowperthwaite diligently mass-produces buttons. 14, 'with the election takingplace from February 15 to 17. Weber thinks that unless thereferendumis held in conjunctiol:} with the regular ballot, there will not be enough ballots cast forthe referendum to be binding. Currently, 7 per cent of eligible studentsmustcastabaD.ot,~ofhowthey


vote, order for a referendum to be binding. Currendy, Feds is verifying the petition that Weber handed to them earlier this month. In particular, according to Becky Wroe, they verifying the petition list against a list of all current full-time students enr~lled according to the Registrar's office. Weberisconcerned thatthe verification process is takingtoo long, to which Wroe rl!plied that many of the names included on the petition did not include student numbers. This has slowed the entire process. "Currendythereare 18;224namesqn thelistand by our count there shf>uld be 19,614," said Wroe. '''The difficulty stems from students who may not havepaid theirfees bythetimethelistwasgeoemtrxl " ShereceivedherlistofregisteredstudentsJanwtty21 and students have untilJanualy 31 to pay thcir tuition, and thus be counted as registered students. Typically,FedsreceM:sacompletelistofstudentsby February 4, In time for theelection ballot.


Survey says: Canadians hate their jobs! A new survey by consulting finn Watson Wyatt & Co. involving over 3,000 Canadian employees of various job levels finds that only 43 per cent consider their company a good place to work, doVv'tl from 55 per cent in a similar survey two years ago. Only 24 per cent of Canadians say that an excellent performance is rewarded at . their companies, and over half claim that the amountofpayand/ortrainingtheyreceivefalls below what they need or expect. Watson Wyatt said that companies should use surveys like these to remember to pay ilttention to workers , '\vith longer tenure, who frequently go ignored or get taken for granted as they continue their careers. How 'bout that wacky job market, huh grads?

International A web-page designer from Nehtaska auctioned off the use of his forehead for advertising flpace ott eBay. Attdrew Friday to receive $37,375, on the condition that he spend the next month going around with the logo for the snoring remedy SnoreStop emblazoned onms face. Fischer pitched the idea to companies by pointing out its absurdity. ''People will always comment on something out of the ordinary:~ he said. No Andrew, it's pretty much just me.

Editor's note: Mm:/!. Johnson'S ro/pmn Extreme Centre willllotrJjJpearuntilthe end ofthe Peds election 'fOtingperiod due to his canditkz9 .

The proposed agenda 1$ as follows: 1. Call to order 2. Approval of the agenda 3. Auditors' Report for 2003/04 4. AppointiDg the 2005/06 auditor 5. PreseDtatiOD of the 2004/05 financial statemeDta 6. Policy amendment ratification* 7. Election of the 2005/06 board of direetors 8. AdJournment *PoUq am.endmeBta aad prOXJ forms are available in the·lm.priat office. SLC room. 1116.

Questions? Contact preside1lt Andrew Dilts Phone: (519) 888-4048



Election: Feds year in review Continued from cover Representatives from the administration, Feds and students have created a task force on undergraduate financial aid, as well as the CECS review committee. The task force's report was taken to Senate in November, with the last recommendation being accepted and provided by the committee at the JanuarymeetingofSenate. TheCECS reviewcommitteeison-goingandhave been examiningCECS to see how the co-op progtamis considered as a whole. They are putting together a six-decade plan that should be completed this April. At the beginning ofDecember the Canadian Alliance ofStudent As sociations (CASA) and the Ontario Undergraduate Student Alliance (OUSA) wereinvolved in a series ofconferences regarding Bob Rae's post-secondary review. The review, among other things, points out that the last time the Federal government evaluated the post-secondary education system was in 1973. There was a ''Wall of Debt" on display November 24, 2004 with a press conference that brought media attention as well as the notice of many J\:fPs in hopes to make education a national priority. The ''Wall ofDebt" consisted of postcards featuring names, student numbers and debt levels from approximately 10,000 students, posted to appear as bricks on the wall. Theywere affixed to plywood "~~~.d,QA.e,wa1kwafto

Parlillmem Hill.

The Waterloo StudentAccommodation Study's recommendation is to increase high-density housing close to the university. They retained Chris Edey to work with the SASAC, and the report went to City Councilin late September. It was approved in principle. Amajor event that occurred within campus clubs involved the Embassy Students Association (ESA). Feds suspended the actions of the ESA for

Feds suspended the . actions of the ESA for failing to comply with eight points by the Internal Administration Committee.

VPAF detained in Pakistan Looking towards the future of the UniversityofWaterloo, as well as electing Feds executive, senate and student's council, there will be two referenda questions. One regardingorientation fees for first year students and the other, a student dental plan, which was part of Raveel Afzaal's election platform. The first referendum question will ask whether or not a $100 fee should be introduced to the lA fee statement ofincoming undergraduates. The new fee represents the cumulative dollar amount of orientation fees collected by faculty and residence activities around $50 each peryear. The addition of this fee is intended to ease the process ofregistration dutingorientationweek. The second referendum question will ask students to approve or reject a dental plan, that would cost each ~ndergraduate student $34.25 per term on a universal opt-out basis. Preventative services would be 100 per cent covered by the plan, whlle basic services would be 70 per cent

failing to comply with eight points outlined by the Internal Administration Committee. As Neal MoogkSoulis reported on .october 8, 2004, there were three major issues Feds had with the ESA. First, there was no clear distinction between the ESA and The Embassy. Second, the ESA was not processing its finances, including the weekly offerings, through Feds. Lasdy, the ESA committed a series of violations with regards to advertisements

aoo publicatio!l~.

covered. Togetinformed on the candidates

John Andersen NadaBasir EJ. Hunt Mark Johnson

Caustan De Riggs Stuart Hastings


Vice-President Administration and Finance Ahmed Fa1:rakha Nick Cake Yasid Gilbert Carmen Lam Matthew Jermyn Education Howard Bender Parthi Kandavel

Senate ES/IS

Bobby Naini Andreea Pop

Internal Lawrence Lam


Lee Bowman

Sabrina Bowman

Jonathan Fishbein Kunal Gupta

Kitcl:tener-Wan:r100 Andrew Telegdi, and .the Pakistani Govemment, but to

no avail. The Feds have struck up a


Student's Council Engineering Councillors (A) Jonathan Fishbein Matt Strickland Mathematics Councillors (A) Adam Felix Ian MacKinnon Ajaybir Singh Sehkon

Claire Bazley David Evans

Science Councillors (A) Robert Allie Uly Shang

Math Adam Felix

St. Jerome Councillor (A) Randy Besco

Eric Logan Arts Councillor Pat Borrelli Kate Daley Rida Rehmani ES Councillor (A) Michelle Zakrison

commissionrequesting his return, in hopesthathecansrill liveuptohiselection promises. He has decided to continue to work on various VPAF projects in conjuction with the

Feds. "Itiswithgreat regret that I am not there to see them to their completion" saidAfzaal via email. Afzaal is still optimistic, and leaves some fighting words: 'They make me stumble and fall but I will get back up. I nothing else, I would just have to come back as Pakistan's foreign minister."

,A_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ . _ . _ _


__ ....


·OS ca gradp h 0&1. WW .

?}::::h~7;od;::;,,~:::u ~wmI . . .t.tIIL

planreferendum. AEzaal will have to be taken off the Feds paytoll, as he cannot be allowed to work anymore. The Feds are still interested in keeping their missing VPAF in the loop however, for his valuable input and experience on various issues.The fightisnotoverhowever. AEzaal is submitting a new application to the high

Afzaal's attempt to overturn the refusal of his visa from the Canadian High Commission was supported by the University of Water100 • • • but to no avail.

contingencyplan, to become formal later on this monthaccordingtoFedsPresidentBecky Wroe, where thedivvyingup ofAEzaal's resources and responsibilities 'will be .addressed. Strategies include recruiting former VPAF Chris DiLullo for help and keepingAfzaal active on the dental

for the upcoming election, there will


At Large Matthew Austin StevenHayle Robert Kosztyla David Wheadey

The visa appeal for VP Administration and Finance RaveelAEzaalhas been denied. AEzaal's attempt to overtum the refusal ofhis visa from the Canadian High Commission was supported by the UniversityofWate:rloo, theMPfur

peamediaforumonMonday,Febru• ary7,whereUWmediarepresentatives. will be asking the candidates questions. This year's election dates are from Tuesday, Febtuary15 toThurs-

Thecandidates for the 2005 Feds election: President


9 r ad ph 0 t 0

S •c



•• • •

$ 9.9~9!

.. -.--.-.---.----.. .--fresh-RowerS cii - - - - - --. I...EVERGREEN PlAZA. Highland Rd. - KITCHENER - 144-5553 • at Weslmount, next to Food Basics I #



rdable Pricesl






Zeller's Plaza, 94 Bndgeport Road, E. (at Weber) WATERLOO 888-7070




Travel, Vohmteer, Children, Peace Education. Pun! Looking for em amazing summer experience? Brazil, France, Italy, Germany or USA Five mature adult volunteers (over 21) required to lead gt:oup& of youth from Canada to international camps. You like worIdng with chi1dren have an Interest in cross cultural understandinq and a passion 'for travel. leaders are responsible for assisting wft!1 dayto-day programming at the camp. Minimum weekly commitment starts in March and travel is scheduled for the montn of July 2005.

All travel costs and incidentals are coveted.

For an application for!n and further information, contact Fiona or Pat at 725-9292 or at Applications are due January 31. 2005.

"It was the most amazing experience evertAngela, Canadian Delegation leader to Finland. 2004

Good luck to all candidates, and let's keep the Dr. Mario-related initiatives coming.

leam more about CISV at www.clsv.ea or



CUTC brings industry and academia together Bianca-,_._-_._------_ Tong .., - - , , ,~---


Amidst talk of nanotuhes, synchro-trons, Xboxes and Ipods the setting was laid for a geek's paradise at this year's UW' organized Canadian Under" graduate Technology conference. The student-run annual gathering boasted major IT industry keynote speakers, seminars on statcoftheartresearchand thousands of dollars in software and hardware giveaways. The profile of the CUTC has definitely risen over the years. This year, such media outlets as CityPu/se, Space, TheGlobecmdAlail, the NationalPostand various tech journals have clamoured for coverage of the sLx-yearold conference, which continues on its mandate to "present a conference thatis accessible to the average Canadian student." The students who organize the conference are all full-time undergraduate students, \vith the majority coming from U\1f.11lis year's co-chairs Clnis Tan and HishamAl-Shurafa, affectionately dubbed "Chrisham" for their monolithic presence, started coordinating efforts for this year' ~ CUTe last smmner. Students were treated to a melting pot of speakers from a multitude of fields, including nanotechnology, en trepreneurship, robotics, elliptic curve cryptography and Petascale supercomputers. "\'{-'hat was inspiring, was that all of the speakers came in on a pro bono basis," said Kaushik Seethapathy, in charge of orgllnizing the seminar and keynote speakers, "in realizing the great opportunity at hand to speak to undergrads and future graduates." Some like Steven Scherer from the HumanClnomo 7 Sequencing project, flew across the country, while others flewin from the U.S., despite the snowstonnthatpreventedmanydriving in from the WI aterloo area. Allan Vermeulen, GrO from Amazon and UWI Systems Design alumni '83, flew in from Seattle to give a keynote despite the baggage handler walkout at Pearson. As many delegates were in their final year ofuniversity, understandablyrnll.l1Y


University Shops Dental Clinic New Patients Welcome - Walk-in & Emergencies All your dental needs in a comfortable and relaxing atmosphere.

Dr. Wally Akkila, DDS 160 University Ave., W., Waterloo 888 .. 9998 (corner of Phillip & University)


Student accessibility ofCUTCwasthe conference organizers' mantra. keynotes made a point ofgiving timely advice to near graduates. Rosaleen Citron, CRO ofIT security provider \X'hiteHat Inc. had inspirational messages for grads, noting that "80 percent of the job is showing up on time!" She emphasized the importance of setting short and long term goals in order for university students to attain their expectations. :Many keynotes understood that they were "passing the torch" onto the new generation, the "Children of the Instant Future," noting that IT grads of today would see tbe end of flloote'sLawin our careers, a phenomenon quantifying the exponential in" crease in CPU power and decre,lse in physical hardware. Notonly\vere students exposed to the '\'{'orld's smallestseeureweb SClver' from Sun Microsystems, and the biofeedback software uf\VildDivine, hut also included on the jam-packed conference schedule, were the TechRxpo and TechShow. There were also op-portunities to hear and participate in debates and think tanks of current and pressing issues permeating the IT world_ Such issues as outsourcing and off-shoring, responsible use of technology, and challenges faced by entrepreneurs were tackled, the latter issues moderated by seminar speakers. ]n addition, $20,000 in free 80ftwafe from partner sponsor 1ficrosoft was given away, as well as free Xboxes and Ipods. Even organization of the conference hea\>!l)' relied on the convenience of technology, with many volunteers not meeting in person until

the day of the conference. Put on at the Holiday Inn on King St. in downtown Toronto, the conference attracted students from both of Canada's coasts, with strong contingents tromSPU, AcadiaandMemoriaL U\V, the largest percentage ofdelegates alongwith Ryerson, LT ofT and Queen's, \'{'estern and Macmaster rounded out the Ontarian representation. All told, 480 delegates attended; up from last year's 400. In support of the CUTe initiative, universities have been eager to send theirundetgt-ads 10 the conference. U\X' is the leadex in giving mbsidies back to its students, a lOtal of back to its nndergtaduate delegates. In lotal, $23,000 in funding-was provided to students across the counuy. As tor the future of the conference, AI-Shurafa mentioned that there might be considerations of nlnlling the conference elsewhere, as it is a national conference, but npt in the near future. The majority of delegates at the CUTC were from U\V but forseeably satellite conferences or individual events could be run by student ambassadors from other universities, but no formal plans have been made. An inspiring and groundbreaking initiative, the Canadian Undergraduate Technology Conference is a whirling mass ofleadership, scientific exploration and creative energy which provides undergraduates with an extensive playground for discovery.

food for

Students eelebate t __ Day on which kee Wod i$ giHn to students in the mufti.,osef~intheSlCby.Sikh$mdenw~aofUW.HetdO""liU;~f. studentt are required te~m<wethek sbae& and~ov_their~ mr~t.



FASS, Feds and faculty give back, but cheating inUW on the rise year, 17 students were suspended, for anywhere from one term to five terms, and two were expelled."

Conversational Chinese, Japanese courses offered at Renison College Renison Collegewill begin to offer noli-credit Ctpistine Loureiro IMPRINT STAFF

Cheating and appeals According to the University Committee on Senate Appeals, cheating is up at UW. But according to their annual report, the incidences involve a small number of the more than 20,000 that attend UW. In 2003---2004, 248 cases of cheating were reported,including810fplagiarism,90f"misrepresentation" and 7 of ''harassment, discrimination, unethical behaviour." The appeals committee also noted, "11 cases ofstudent appeals against gracies,regulations and decisions." The report did ' notitemize cases by faculty. According to the DailY Bulletin, studentmembers ofthe committee think their fellow students push their luck, calibrating their behaviour to a 'perceived tolerance level in the belief that some instructors have given up, tum a blind eye.' The committee has suggested a sign-offsheet be included in front ofeach assignment to put the onus of academic honesty on students. It would require that students verify and acknowledge referenced sources, any collaboration and fitst~time submission of an assignment. "Penaltiescanvatywidely,fromareducedmark on an assignment to having to leave the university," continued the DailY Bulktin. "During the

interest versions of popular language courses in East Asian studies, "as a way of learning and understanding the Pacific Rim's culture and languages," according to Renison. The introductory level courses are offered in conversational Chinese and conversationalJ apanese and are designed to develop basic listening and speaking skills. For more information, contact Maryanne Rose at the East Asian studies department at Renison College at 884-4404, ext. 627, or via electronic mail at

CSS lounge to help alleviate growing stress on co-op students Sitting for hours in an uncomfortable chair, staring at a TV screen. Rushing from class to an interview only to find that the employeris running 45 minutes late. OnMonday,Januaty31,students will have something more to look forward to as they sit in wait of a job placement, thanks to the Feds and its new co-operative student services lounge in the Tatham Centre. Feds are opening the lounge on the first day of interviews hoping to alleviate some of the growing stresses of the co-op process. The lounge, located in TC 1207 (behind the paging desk) is open from 8:30 a.m. to 4:30 p.m. on weekdays and includes couches, a computer and a table. "The CSS lounge ",,'ill be there for you to take a load off and de-stress after or between inter-

views, for you to visit the website ofthe company you'reinterviewing\.vith one last time, or even for you to catch up on a bit of work while you're waiting," says JeffHenry, Feds VP':education. 'The use ofthis space was suggested by co-op students for co-op students and we certainly hope it is a service they will use;' explained Henry. "Of course, as usage grows, we'll have the opportunity to expand services provided."

Keystone Campaign surpaSfes $4.5 million goal UW President David Johnston has announced that the Keystone Campaign-the faculty, staff and retirees portion ofUW's current major fundraising initiative-has surpassed its $4.5 million goal, long before the anticipated 2007 campaign end date. "'Ihisis tremendous news andI'd liketo express my sincere thanks to the many donors, volunteers, and sponsors in the campus community who are responsible forthis outstandingsuccess," Johnston wroteearlierthis week. A campus-wide celebrationis planned to take place in the next fewweeks. ''I hopeyouwillcome celebrate this important campus-wide achievement for the University and its deserving students," Johnston continued. More information on the celebration, which, in true UW style, will hopefully involve free cake or pizza, the Warrior band, and Ponce de Leon, is to follow.

New dean for AHS OnJuly 1, 2005, AHS Prof. Roger l\iannell

will succeed l\fike Sharratt as dean of the faculty of applied health sciences. The lJ\V Senate and Board ofGovernors have approved the appoint-

mentto a five-year term, recendy announced by UW President David Johnston. Prior to joining UW,Mannell was the Director of the Centre of Leisure Studies at Acadia University in Wolfville, Nova Scotia. He completed a PhD in psychology at the University of Windsor in 1977. He is also the current President of the Academy ofLeisure Spences. Mannell's current research includes examining the impact of time pressure and stress on adolescent time, family leisure and lifestyles, the relationship between the use ofleisure and mental health, and stress/ traumaand coping among urban aboriginal peoples with diabetes.

FASS comedy, coming to a theatre near you Waterloo dramagroup FASS (faculty,alumni, staffand students) have been entertaining the UW cornmunitywith original shows since 1963. Their latest installment, 'The F ASStastics: With great power comes great comedy!" kicks offat 8 p.m. in Hagey Hall on February 3 and plays through to February 5. Steve Hanover, assistant producer ofFASS tells Inprintthatinthis year's play, "FASSmanand his troop ofsidekicks must battle the forces ofDt. Slaw, who [has] been drugging UWs food supply as part of[his] evil plot. Charactersretillning from previous F ASSes will include ninjas and dancing pirates." Tickets are available Monday to Friday from 12 p.m. to5p.m. at the Hagey Hallboxoffice,oratthe door. Tickets are $6 for students on February 3 and $8 on the other nights. Group rates are available. - witbJilesfrom Daily Bulletin


PINION ombatting convocation

Imprint is published by Imprint Publications Student Life Centre 1116 University of\"'aterloo Waterloo, ON N2L 3G1

Beware the temptations of the sponge

So you've graduated - now what?

Undergraduates beware. ] t may seem

like you are dying to finish your degree and get on to the next big thing but you maybe "In::ry \\Tong. Do you know exactly what you do with yourself once your is over? If so, be thankful. I don't have a due what 1 want to do and it h~ds like I am paying fot it. 1t seems logical that I should apply to many different options and see \vhat works out for me. So I've applied to several post-b'1'aduateprograms as well as many jobs. I hate job hlmting. Maybe it is my own natural dislike for talking about myself and my revulsion for talking myself up to potential schools/employers. Hut I find it excruciating to do the necessary resume/ cover letter/ application Murus describing\vhata gtl.'at cmciiciarc 1 ;>J11 fox whatever school or job I am applying to. Tf! keep these letters and applications as briefand tothe-point as I can, I put myself at a disadvantagt~.

\X1hat would be the result if I was honest in t.~esc applications? "I don't know if I even want this job but I might as well give it a shot, s o wanna hire me? "I \>nmt to do this program at school because 1 think I like it. And I want to go to your school because itis a 10mmutewalkfrommyapartment. amI tn? "I would like a back-up job and this is the one I feel most likely to get. As soon as something better comes along, you can expect: my three weeks' no .. tice ... " To add insult to injury, applying to post-grad prob'!"ams usually re'-1uires

letters of reference from professors. This is horrendous. I can't stand to brag about my good, so is it any surprise thatitmakes me squirm to :tsk someone else to do this for me? Do yourself a favour and ask some p.rof~ aboutwritingrefercnces before you leave tlleir classes. I'm ;;ure profs get asked to write these things all the time, but can you imagine howembarrassing it would be if they didn't remember you? h is hard enough to remember what you wrore your major paper on when you go to ask them the favour. JiO\v could they possibly remember one stude'lt om of the zillions they musr come across? And I, for one, wish 1 knew beforehand that all those essays I wrote would be needed for post-grad applications. I dunk I have one that I didn't throw out yet and it only survived because it has been in the trunk of my car for the past year and a half. Do you think they'd mind in sent them this beal'cn-up thing? It is as crumpled as a Kleenex but at least it is a "graded seruorpaper." So if any uf you are to apply for post -grad programs, keep those dan111 essays and use this time to perfect your bullshitting skills. You'll need d1em when you're done.

First, it was Bert and Ernie - lhe two fuzzy roommates of that famous street who played with bottle cap collections and mbber duckies and cared tor pi-, geons. Then, it was Tinky \X'inky, that flamboyantly purple T eletubbywith a triangular antenna who carried a magi" cal red bag (commonly mistaken for a purse). Now, it's SpongeBob's turn. That's right, that lit de spongy guy who lives in a pineapple under the sea is d1elatcst children's TV shmvstano fall within dle crosshairs of the religious "right." Dr. James Dobson, founder of the ultra-tight religious group, Focus on the Family, claimed during a dinner speech to members of congress that a video featuring SpongeBob was promoting homosexuality to small children. The video, originally shown on TV hackin 2002, is scheduled to be distributed to classrooms in the U.S. sometimeinMatch to help teachers demon-

Why bother actually watching something before you claim it will give kids lithe


who are different. Thevideois amassive collection of neady 100 popular children's characters, including Bamey, Jimmy Neutron, Big Bird (and most of the Sesame Streetcrv,v), Clifford the Big Red Dog, the Rugrats and more, all set

Sure, why bothcractuallywarching something before you dairnitv:ill give kids "the gay?" WeR thanks to the wondrous piJ\'Fer of the Intz~met~ find a copy of the video and r m sad to say that it fails to mention anything even remotely resemblingsexuality---straight or othe1"vt'1se. Further, poor 01' SpongeBob, \vho's taking all the Hack, is only on the video a total of



three times - for less than five sec" onds--"overa three-minute mosaic of characters. 'TI1e most offensive thing I could find on the video was tl1e fact that neither \Vinnie the Pooh nor Barney are wearing pants. Where's the outcry there? 1be onlyreference to sexuality comes from two sources, tlle website of the \Ve Arc Fall:lily Foundarionand a srnall teacher's aid booklet that comes with d1e video, telling teachers how to haR dIe questions about "at)1)ical families," such as slngle-parentfamilies, adoptiye parents, step-siblings, grandparent guardians or gay parents. The advice is quite generic, by all reports, simply tell" teachers to remind their students th,l1 all rimrilies ll1"tc based upon love. Jt-'s really sad when people allow their absolute fear of something to take control of their rationality. It's come to the point where you can hardly even think the words tolerance or equal" ity without the "moral majority" crowd damping their hands O\Ter their children's ears and babblingincessantlyin the hopes of drowning you out. Watching this video is no more likely to make your child gay then iris to make them as green as Kennit the Frog. At most~ the video might give these kids an of horrors ,-,- help them understand what '\ve ate all bnm (:c!uar' means. Or at least, better than their blindfoH-tot" ingpatents understand it.



Student Life Centre 1116 University ofW"terIoo Waterloo, ON N2L "Gl


F:519.8li4.7SOO 1>:51'.l.888.4048

Officc Staff

Production Staff Anitll Glover, Laura Hawak. Winnie Kuanll,


Distribution. Chris \\"l'S1 Distlihurion. vllcaHr Yolunteer co-ordinatot, Kiriklt Bussell

&wmitted mftternu. and as

Rosanna Lan, Tom Levesque, Claire Mousse-au, Phil \'feiner. Judy \'fu, Simon Yarrow ln~DriJlt

is the official stucient fK,\,~,p",per of the UnwCl"Shy of \'i/aterlou. It is an editorially L'1depetl{i<;m nC;),lspapt't published by 1mprIDt PubJicatious, \y"atcr!iX), II corporation without share Gt~~ hitprint i~ a. ll"Jcmhct' of

the Onta!1o Community

,~"\~ ~

Editorial submissions may be considered for publkation in an)' edition of 11ilpfint. lmpnfft may also reproduce the matc:riJ>l commC\'ciail}' i.n allY format Of medium as part of the nC\w;papct dambase, \'('eb site <)£ any other product de11vcd from the newspaper. Those suhmitting editorial content, inelud.. ing affid..."S, lettetS, photos and r,mphks, will grant [P"print first publication rights of their

Board of Directors board@imprint.uwaterloo,ca President, Andrew Dilts Vice-president, Erin Gilmer Treasurer, Nea! l\1oogk-Soulis Secretary, Margie Mans~ll Staff liaison, Dmshan Ganrhan

-\civcni<;lrtg Ass!stant Lauren Fox



clation (oeNA).

Web Editor, Daniel Kangmin Ko \X'eb Assistant, vacant Svstems Administrator, Javed Iqbal l.ead Proofreader, Dean \X1hcltnn Proofrt,,,ldet, Ernie Lan Proofrt'adcr, Ruhan Rahman Proofreader, Kaitlin Ojamae Proofreader, Shallna Solomon

General mWlIgi.'x, Catherine Bolg;;r cathy. Advertising & production manager, Lauric Tigert-Dumas Production ,\s;;istanr, Jacqueline McKoy

·,$_1""<".... .t_1""' .... , j _ P.... " ' - - " ' ' ' ' .....


Friday, January 28, 2005 -- VoL 27, No. 24

Editorial Staff Editor-in-chief; Laura Katsirdaki~ cditor@imprint.uwatcrloo.Clt .\$sistant Editor, Tim AlanK'I1cilk Cover Editor, Kelley Dillies News Editor, Bianca Tong Nc", Assistant, Rob Blom Opinion Editor, Jeff ,\nstelt Opinion "\s"isrant, Mark Johnson Features Editor, Scott Houston [""llllies ;\;,;sistant, DarJl:n Hlltz Arts Editor, Dave Georgt>·Cosh ;\rts Assiwtnt,. Ian Blechschmidt Science Editor, Penny Miche.lle Rorke Science _\s5i5I:al11:, l\tich"d L Dayenpott Sports Editor, Sarah \llmcndinger Spe>rt5 '\ssimtnt, Dan Micak Photo Editor. Mohammed Jangela Photo Assistant, Kirill Levin Graphics 1',ditor. Julian \pong Graphics Assistant, Hiroshi Murakami

to the "\'{le lue Family" disco theme. The v~deo was the brainchild of Nile Rodgers, head of the We Jue Family Foundation and the co-v.'riter of the 1979 disco hit. Now, Dr. Dobson didn't go much into what he thought of the video, only denouncing it as pro-homosexual propaganda. 111ankfully, PaulBatura, of Foms on rhe Family, elabol"ated, saying that "\\7e see the video as an insidious means by which the organization is ma" nipulating and potentially brainwashing kids." Of course, Batura went on to note that he didn't think Dr. Dobson had actually seen the \~deo.



,,,,,.h, agt<ce n01 to

suhmit the same work iU any ()ther publication or group until SUell time as the mat:eri.J has been disttibured in an issue of ImpriJ1t, 01" [;Ilj?rmtdf",c'lruxs their il1tml not to pubiil;h the n;.,~teriaL The full rc'<t of thi~ ?greement is avffilablc upon request. Inq)rint does not I-,'mrramee to publbh ,uiides, photographs, ktters or advertising:. ?t la.tcriai

!uay not he published.. at the -t.ii"Uxerion of Imp;itl/, if rh&t material is: ,,!t:crHcJ t() be Jibelous or in contravenrK-m with l!J~j;tiH!s poncK'S with respect tf) our code of {,.,iliics ,mel journalistic standltrds.

ltnprint is published every Friday during fail and \vint1C'j" tenng. and evtcry Sl"<::ond Friday during the spring term. l;;,prilit reSC1VCS the ri.ght to SCK'en, ,,.]it and refu>e advertising. Imprint Publication, is nor responsible for ad:vatisng mistakcs beyond the cost of the ad,'cttisemcnt. One cop, pex customer. lmpr'alf TSSN 0706-7380. m;pril!! CDN Pub Mail Product Sakes Agreement no. 40065122 Ne","t staff meeting:

Monday, January 31 12:30 p_m.• S1.C 1116 Next production night: Wednesday, Febuary 2 5:30 p.m., :-1.C 1116 hoard meeting: Monday, Janua.ry 31 -U~) p.m., :,LC 1116




How I learned to stop questioning and em.braced the A&E Biography

I must confess, I'd never before watched a U.S. senate confirmation hearing. Yes, I'm one of those poor slobs who showup Mondays, suspiciously quiet as everyone discusses the show: ''Dude, didya see the hearings? The Georgian Senator really threw down with the nominee - it was almost as good as the time Kennedy dressed downAshcrofton his briefs regardiog se<.-wty over privacy, yo!" I've hadto endure many a pityiog stare, feelings of inadequacy forneglectingthe hot show (and you thoughtit was the a.C). But last week, I sped past VH1 's I Lwe the 90s Part Deux (featuring Johnny Cochrane's line "If it [the glove] doesn't fit, you must acquit"),

FoxNEWS (likeacaraccident-tertible, but you can't look away), and multiple sale cOrnl:J}ercials (inspiring ,how stores pay !ribute to founding fathers and:NfartinLuther KingJr. with big sales on holidays commemorating their lives - when I think civil rights, I think 70 per cent off Ralph Lauren sweaters) -and tuned into the confirmation hearings. I watched, rapt (well, as tapt as a person can be while senators drone on), as senators grilled and flattered Condoleezza Rice, former National Security Advisor (Bush 2, Season 1), and Secretary ofState nominee; on everything from rogue nations to her role in the administration's policies. ' Rice's skill at ducking direct questions was remarkable. The stamina she demonstrated by repeatedly dodging an answer on why she put the kibosh on bi-partisan legislation stating the U .S.'s positiot:l on tortUre, whether she considered "waterboarding" torture and the lack of a link betwee~ 9/11 and

Iraq, should certainly qualify her for a spot in iron man competitions. That she'll be confirmed is a foregone conclusion in the Republicancontrolled senate (ditto for Alberto Gonzales, Attorney General nominee and infamous author of the memo calling the Geneva Conventions "quaint and obsolete"). It's not the end of the world - she's got the ear of the president, her resume suggests knowledge about foreign matter&, she's not a bad choice from those available within Dubya's circle. I'm even comforted by her assertion that "The time for diplomacy is now" -let's notlament that she's late to the party and just be grateful she showed up at all. Truly curious were not her vague and evasive answers, but the Republican senators' responses to concerns about her lack of forthrightness and her record as the NSA. See RICE, page 11


PomAgain Video Rentals

PomAgain Video Rentals

A dog-ban-dog world New Liberal pit bull ban is total bull IfLouise were here now, I might bite her for making such an idiotic comment. Pet owners are responsi-, ble for their own pets. When a pet harms someone, its owner is at fault. The proposed regulation has put the Liberals in an uncharacteristic The draconian claws of the Liberal position of disagreement with aniregulatory beast are about to strike mal rights activists. The activists have again. 'This time, dog owners may be gone to the other extreme by dethe ones to bleed away their freescribing the potential ban with the dom. . term "canine ethnic cleansing." We should not ban pit bulls. We What an insulting if not disgusting should ban the Liberals who are use of a term normally applied to hutrained and bred to launch vicious man beings forced out of their homes attacks on personal liberties in this or killed en masse. Perhaps I will use the province and this country. term "technological genocide" to deEven if a dog ban were in order, scribe bans on hunting rifles. breed-specific legislation is as ridicuPit bulls might capture the heaits lous as banning . of Liberal :NfPPs onfy those guns iftheywereplaced painted blue. in a national park, We should not Fitst duck given sexy athunters, then sutributes like ban pit bulls. We shi lovers. and spots, stripes, should ban the now dog owntusks, long necks ers. Who's next? , or fangs and Liberals who are Beware: a Liberal filmed in their trained and bred bureaucrat could habitat as part of 'belurkingin your a five-part televito~launch neighbour's back sion documenvicious attacks yard, tied to any tary with a' Britsignpost or walkish narrator. Unon personal ing along any til then, at least liberties in this ~treet.leashedby . theyha~~路 its special-inteimal rightS folks projtince and this est owner. on their side. country. This issue is Is there no not about 'dogs at one defending all. Dogs are not the liberties of part of the.sociodog owners? economic agreement to which most The animal rights activists are prohumans belong. The rights and tecting the dogs and the Liberals are freedoms of dog owners are at stake. "protecting" the "victims," but the Those freedoms will be thrown in dog owners and breeders have been the dog pen should the latest Liberal left to fend for: themselves. blunder become law. If! can defend Christians despite f Unsurprisingly, the victims ofdog worshipping science and speak for attacks are largely on side with the victims of speeding fines despite nQt McGuinty hoodlums. Louise Ellis having any myself, then I can cersupports the ban: ''The animal rights tainly help dog lovers despite my activists will try to .tell you that pit preference for cats. bulls don't harm people, that pit Pit bull owners, sleep well tonight. bull owners harm people. Lord how Uncommon Sense is here for you. I wish the owner had bitten my child instead of his dog." '



Double door dilem.m.a toasty, because vittually every enttance is a double door?) Is it because the more doors to get into 'the building, the more important the buildingis (in a sort ofbuilding haut couture kind of


It sucks being a g1.utton. Puta flyer for a Mega Munch Meal from Pizza Pizza (fwo pizzas, wings, garlic bread and six pop) in front ofmy face and I'll end up buying two (I'll get hungry later after all). By the way, ifyou're looking for a deal with more food for around the same price, Double Double has a great deal with two pizzas, wings (or KFC-style chicken), garlic bread and potato wedges. Tell 'emArdasentyou (as lame as that truly sounds). Speaking of excess, what exacdy is the purpose of a double door? Is that secondsetofdoors direcdy after a first set of doors meant as a "just in case" to keep cold air out on a cold day? (Is that why the SLC is usually warm and

" the

9JUW Teacher Awards" To nominate your outstanding instructor, contact Teaching Resources &lid Continuing Education (TRACE) Office

MC415S Ext. 3857


Whatever the real reason for these fraternal twin doors might be, they can pose a very awkward situation for us polite Canadians. Let's say you are walking toward the first set of double doors, and somebody is behind you. Do you hold th~ door for t;hem? Do you hold both doors for them? Do you hold one for them and they hold the ot;her for you? These are all questions we've never cared to think about but have always yeamed for an answer to. Luckily, my floor in residence and I areexcellentresearchers andhavecome up with a solution to this prisoner-like dilemma. In a perfect world, Patrice (who arrives to the double doors first) will hold the first set of doors for Bertha, who will then in turn hold the next set of doors for Patrice. Thank you's will be exchanged and both Bertha and Patrice will be on their merry way. IfBerthais visib.lyolderthan Patrice (orifBerthais within age and attractive -'who knows, there could be an attractive Bertha out there), thenPattice will probably hold both doors for

Bertha. IfBertha is in a hurry, then the «I'm pushing the door open for you after I walk thJ;ough it" technique is acceptable {albeit less polite) only because Patrice initiated the politeness process. If Patrice does this technique on the first door to Bertha, it would be awkward for her to properly hold the second door open, thus the technique , should be executed on both doors. The same applies in reverse - if Patrice fully holds the first door for Bertha, Patrice shouldn't then do the same technique on the second door. IfPatriceholds the doorin anyway for Bertha and Bertha beats Patrice to the next door and does not return the favour, Bertha is a jerk. I have obviously omitted sex "door holding" issues in this analysis by picking unisex names, but in reality thi.. issue wouldn't happen with a guy and girl (girls, we're just being polite, we know you can open your own doors!). ' And no guy really holds the door open for another guy (recall the seven step rule: if a guy is father than seven steps from you, the door holding politeness is null), unless he is European (So next time I hold a door open for you don't look at me funnyQ Butatleastnowwe know, and knowing is half the battle. aocal@imprint.uwaterloo.'ca

l\.Oun5elOlr5: GMllnne!c:i childcare/teachlng. Must be able to tead] or lead o~or more foIl,)wir12 activities: gymnastics, tennis, swim, sail. canoe, water ski, arts '

glass, sewing, jewelry, wood, photo), dance, music, theatre, archery, Iwilden1ess trips, field sports, equestrian. . Work@,'"" iriduding openings for kitchen, laundry, housekeeping, secretaries, Im"lntl~n"ru-.. & grounds, and kitchen supervisor. , INn,n_<lmnl,p.rc June 18 to AugUst :15. Attractive salary (US) plus travel allow.lmt. Applications and photo gallery are available on our website: IW1IVW'.I<IPP'=W'iI."'~m or contact us at the numbers listed bela" for a staff l!inducting


An open letter to Federation of Students election candidates

80x 340, Westwood, Massachusetts, 020go-0,4O. U.S.A. tel: 781-76z-8~91 I fax: 781-255-7167 .

The Federation ofStudents has proven tousallthattheycanplayasignificantrole in helping student charitable organizationsoncampus.Inlightofthetsunami devastation, the Federation ofStudents' Tsunami ReliefEffortOtange Ribbon Campaign was instrumental in getting UW students and clubs involved in charitable work. Through this event the Fedshavehadahuge,positiveimpactin raisingbothawarenessandfundsacross campus. The tsunami is not the only world crisis. More than 130,000 Africans die every week from preventable causes. That's right - the equivalent of a tsunami disaster every two weeks. In 1970, Canada joined an international commission that challenged the world to commit 0.7 per cent of their GDP to international assistance. However, according to the Organizationfor

Economic Co-operations and Development, CanadagaveonlyO.24percent in2003andneverreachedtheO.7percent goal. ThehighestreachedwasO.5percent in the 1980s.l\fan)'CounttiesinEurope have surpassed the 0.7 per cent goal As university students, we can lead in encouraging Canada to become a more p,ro-developmentcountty.AsRickTheis, the Feds club director, said when referring to the Feds' tsunami relief effort, "[students} are engaged, upbeat, optimistic and willing to make a difference, providedanopportunity."TheFeds can playahugeroleinprovidingthisoppor!Unity. Engineers Without Borders, along with many other student organizations on campus, have been tirefess in their efforts to engage UW students to think and act without borders. This means to think and act in a manner that encouragescross-cultutalcommunication,g1.obal awareness, international development and local participation in social justiceissues. Now,we are tryingtoreach out to the candidates for our student government to see how "without borders"theyaspire to be as potentialinembers of the Federation of Students.

There are many amazing student Qtganizationsandcultutalclubsoncampus that do a great job at promoting human development. EWB, UWIHDA, SOS, Transcending All Borders and other student clubs are all exttemely active on campus. The next generation of Feds should help them fulfill their mandate. In writing this letter, we are poing what democracy is allabout-encouraging students to vote based on the principles they truly believe in. On our campus,itisnothardtonoticethatmany students have international development on their minds and are eager to vote based on these principles. We challenge all Feds candidates to commit to helping student organizations like ours to engage UW students in human development. Candidates, we ask that you address this in your electioncampaignandletusknowabout the "without borders" initiatives that youplantosuppottifelected. We will be looking out for it! -Sonya Konzak President, Engineers Withour Borders Waterloo Chapter

Rice: conftrmation hearings for new secre"tary of state ' Continued from page 9 I naively assumed Rice's defenders would address the charges by the Democratic senators by giving counterexainples illustrating her stellar record, or listing the qualities that made her ideal as the nation's top diplomat. Instead, apart from repeatedly praising her exemplary poise (something sounding faindy condescending-like praising a neural surgeon for her "delicate grace"; "poise" that less generous people might term "stonewalling"), the Republican senators seemed to never tire ofreminding us that Rice grewup in the segregated South. Now, one's background is important - where you came from shapes you. But a personal story, even one replete with profound experiences, cannot'be used as an exemption pass from answering serious questions ahout your record. It shouldn't be taken in lieu of answers regarding topics relevant to your job - like your understanding of the fact&of9/11 or (in)ability to admit past mistakes. Furthermore, the continuous harping on her childhood in the segregated South makes what is rightfully a piece of personal history cheapened into a slogan, a PR sound-bite. As Amanda Marshall says, everybody's got a story-even politicians. Some stories are even relevant. For example, that Senator John McCain has served in Vietnam and spent time in a pow prison is the kind of personal history that lends credibility to his opinion on torturing captives. That Condoleezza Rice grewup in the civil rights era gives her a perspective on racism.

But conftrmations are job inter- certainly it's worth celebraringtliat views. It shouldn't be just your childboth the son of a migrant worker hood and your demographic status (GOnzales) and an African-American (as a woman, minority, child of ecowoman who grew up in the segregated nomic disadvantage) that should south (Rice).bothhave the opportunity hold sway - it's where you stand on to serve in some ofthe nation's highest issues and what you've done as an and most influential posts. But just as adult. people shouldn't be automatically disWhatif, on a job intervi~w, instead missed baSed on the color oftheir skin ofanswetingquestions aboutmywork or their sex, neither should those athistory,! insisted that my childhood tributes excuse them from answering circumstances were all thatwas needed the tough questions, showing theit .to make a hiring decision? CareerServ- , credibility, accountability, and integrity. Equality of treatment demands it. • ices would likely advise against this course of action. Breakingglassceilingsissignificant

BAR fLIES Batman is too in the phonebook, I looked him up. Here, I'll prove it to you.

Hello, Batman? It's me again. I need you to say hello to a friend of mine.





Here's a briefrefresher ofhigh school chemistry. Usually, three subatomic particles are studied: the proton, the neutron and the electron. The proton • and neutron are stuck in the nucleus of an atom, while the electrons can usually be found somewhere nearby. However, not all atoms are created equal. Any chemist can tell you that different atoms fight over electrons. An atom of fluorine, for example, will happily steal an electron from an atom of hydrogen. This .ability of atoms to steal electrons away from other atoms is known in' chemistry as electronegatitJity. Fluorine steals electrons from hydrogen atoms because fluorine has a higher electronegativity rating. Sorry for all those sciencey words above. The purpose of my column isn't supposed to remind you how much you hated/loved high school science. Butlo! We are finished, Now I can start talking about people, while abusing those scientific terms I just defmedl I call people's ability to "steal" oth.e£ people sf)fioeledronlgativity. (SO-SHE-OH-EE-LEK-TROWNEG-AH-TIV-I-TY). Hey, besides the fact that people aren'tsubatomic particles, I feel the analogy works pretty well! Let's say hypOthetically I was talking to someone named "Anna" in a public environment. Let us also say that ''Bill,'' whom Anna also knows, happens by. If Anna finds me as boring as her chemistry prof, she's going to make an excuse and go talkto Bill To Anna, Bill has a higher socioelectronegativity than I do. IfAnna finds me as boring as her chemistry P!of but happens to think herChemistryprofis witty and exciting, she's going to stick around.

tI apologize to all the CS students out there for not naming my people "foo" and '1bar." People are not named "foo" and "bar." Do not name your children "foo" and "bar" to remedy this.) Can socioelectronegativity be measured quantitatively? No. Even actual chemistry electronegativity is a ' relative measurement of one atom's elcrtron stealing ability over the other, and chemists only have to'deal with 110 unique electronegative particles rather than the six billion unique' socioelectronegative particles. If! could measure fha/quantitatively, I could bend social physics to my whim and make myself ruler of the universe. I'd teach sociology in the faculty of science instead of the facultY of arts. None of that is going to happen anytime soon. That being said, even social or physical phenomena that can't be measured quantitatively are still useful to Imowabout and I'll wager half my tuition that you were consciously observing these phenomena already. Here's a classic example where socioelecttonegativityplays a largepart in determining the optcome: the car trip. Let's say you're out with seven of your friends and you decide to grab some food. Two of your friends have cars. Raw finite math tells us that anyone person has a 50 per cent chance of ending up in either car, but socioelectronegalivity tells ,us that this!s not sol One of the car owners has a boyfriend, so naturally he'll be in the same car, getting ;hotgun no lesS'. His best friend with whom he hangs out all the time and plays water polo every Sunday will also be in the same car, unless that gitl he likes gets into the other car in which case he'll make every excuse possible to try and join her. Blah blah blah ad nauseum - I know you've been in situations like that. Join me next week as i misappropriate more nomenclature from thephysical sciences to describe: quantum dating.


Article extremely racist

feel accepted· in your group of friends?"

To the editor, -

Roxanne Hui

The community editorial written by 3A hono~rs applied economics Weinetentitled, ''Hecan'tspeak:rvfandariQ, but he still wants to be your friend" Feds block WPlRG referendum was definitely the most racist article I hav~everread. The factthatitpassed the To the editor, editors andwas publishedina university student newspaper makes iteven more I am writingto express my disgustwith absurd the system the Federation of Students The article expresses how the Feds has set up to allow stu~ts to take part should promote clubs based on . in democracy. I am the. initiator of the mutual interest instead of race. It petitiontoremovetheWPIRGfeefrom bases its arguments on how' current the fee statement I regret to reportthat . clubs promote racial segregation, esmy friends and I hive hita stone wallin pecially seen by the "packs ofAsians, our effort The Federation ofStudents Caucasians, Blacks and Hispanics crisshasrejectednearly;halfofthe2,300names crossing the campus." I am Asian collected,as they do not reconcile with a myself, but I don't travel in "herds/ list maintained by thetl,lselves. Howpacks" when I walk to class. ever,itis obvious to both Feds President Simply put, if someone is speaking Becky Wroe and I, that this list is not in another language or walking in a accurate. }vIanyofmyclose friends who group it does not equate to ''we don't are students andhavepaidtheirFedsfee likeyou, you cannot join us." Ifyou are are not on the list The petition has interested in joining a group of stuenough signatures but the ~eferendum dents, by all means, if you went and may never happen! introduced yourself! highly doubt that . Thevoices ofover 2,300 students are they would continue conversingin anbeingsilen<;ed by aglitchin the Federaother language anddisregarft you. Gention of Students' bureaucracy. When I eralizing a whole group of people and started this campaign~ I was told that I making assumptions by simple obser- , would never collect enough gjgnatures vations, is racism. and that the WPIRGfeewouldbethere I was extremelyangryatiddis~p­ forever; that a petition would be a good pointed at the material that Imprintis waytoventmy frustrations butnothing. publishing for the students at UW. would come ofit. The hours that have m~t,_,tlUnk,~


how your words affect the student population especially those whom this article offends. Tell me how you're promoting equality by saying "Please stop walking in your herds and start making new people

myself far outweigh the moneywe \\lill personallyget back. However, I wanted to do what was rightandlwantedtoexercisedemoct:acy. I stillbelievewhatIamdoingisrighthut I am beginning to doubt democracy. I

Take a.

have gathered the supportofovet2,300 students who want to have power over their money. Don't let yourself be silenced. Ifyou agiee thatthis referendum should happen, e-mail Becky Wroe or your student councillor and let them know. Remind them that they and the bureaucracy they havecreatedultimately work for us. They cannot ignore the gjgnatures of over 2,300 of us.

-NicWeber 2B arts and bu.rincss

Bomber line-up a drag

To the editor, As agtoupoffourth year UW students, ·wehavegrowntoloveWednesdaynights atBpmber. We attend as often as possible, knowing that a good night is ensured. However, this pasttermin order to getinto Bomber, we left our house at six (Bomber is a 10 minute walk from ourhouse). Lastweekwe arrived at 9:30 and to our dismay, the line was near the turtikey. We believe that it would be beneficial for the bomber to get a webcam like the one for the bookstore in SCH. With this, students could decide when to leave their houses atan appropriate hour, arrive at the SLC and not have to waitin line forhours. Weknow that Bomber might be reluctant to do this beq.use it may lose business since people won't come ifthereis along line,. but come on. if there is a .loQg M Bomber is going to be~ ...

- Rebecca pykstm, Natalie Rosso, Kri.rty Thalker andA"!)' Thede 4B sodaldevelopment studies, 4Ageogropqy, 4A socioloo and 4A geograpqy


i ~ Little ~esars·1 I 1: ~~] tOO Drr I I

. '











I~J~~)aIJUI ..







.1 I I


746 68'93 :









•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••• ,*,=<!>.

4. W




_____ "-~

m. "" ~ '2- "<-'W $$.,~.g;, ~,,->&,,:!&->Zc'W$w=.~.==~ It'<<O;;' _w,=_,~._'~


I'll park myseH! Legally!

To the editor, I was very annoyed with Ocal'sJanuary 14 parking battering rant and sneaky but deceitful tips. With my extensive experience~interactionwithParking

Services, I am more than qualified to comment (no-correct) Ocal's tips. U sing friends for parking scams is somewhat intelligent though not enough to outsmart. With the new technology and your parking track record, anything but a void ticket will come your way. Physically throwing snow on your car to deceive the parking control officer is a whole lot ofwork fornothing. They wipe the snow off and leave a token for your effort (ticket forparking overnight). ' Free parking at math and computer for a semester! Now that seems alittle extreme OcaL The actitselfis impossible to commit unless you satin your car for the entire semester. The slashed yenow lines of paint that coat the ground screams no parking zone and \llith the frequent visitation ofparking control officers makes your claim of saving $350 delusional. These sneaky tips are not the secret to saving money. With both ticket and tow fees these days, parking legally saves you money in the long run no matter how you look at it. The risk involved in these unlawful parking, acts is much too high toleave to chance. Frankly,Parking Services should not irritate you; they are there to assist you with your parking needs and questions. However, in terms ofirritation, those who take up an unpaid spot or block access ways to save money


actuallypaymore,in ticket and tow fees and provide a greater headache to the university body. When it comes to having a problem with Parking Services, don't blame them for the rules, blame your stupidity for not following them. Ifyou have such a beefwith Parking Services, consider changing your mode of transportation to the Grand River Transit or your pair of legS. To set students up to fail miserably at this parking game is not only cruel but uncalled for from a fellow student. A word from the wise: be smart and park legally. - Stephanie Venne

3A pqchology Library books far but not gone

To the editor, In response to the January 7 article about the books from the eighth floor of the DP library moving to the new school ofarchitecture, itis understandable that there would be ~ome hard feelings about moving the books to our new library. But the books aren't gone - you can still get them on Trellis and we here in Cambridge have to do just that. Perhaps in a similar gesture we should take all the basketballs from the PAC to show our frustration with the lack offacilities here? \X'hen dealing \vith new facilities there needs to be a compromise. The main campus (including the arts department) still has access to these books and I am sure that inquiries regarding said books are only an extension number away.

- Allan· Wilson 3A architecture Weiner is off target

To the editor, The "He can't speak Mandarin, but he still wants to be your friend" article written by Weiner, which was. printed in the January 21 Imprint offended me. A club segregates the instant its name implies a specific ethnicity. Why did the author target CSA (Chinese Students Association) in particular? Just because Asians make up a fair amount of the university's population doesn't give him the right to condemn their events and dump the blame on them. I agree with him when he says that many students of identical backgrounds stick together, but not everyone is accustomed to the Canadian

diversity we've grown to appreciate. I knowwhatit's like to feel left out ferred from one student organization These students are either on exand wanting to find your place in a to another. change or are immigrants. The reason culture that isn't yours. So before The Suzukieventis another examWeiner starts his rant about "racial why these students join these "racepleofWPIRG'sexce1lenceinconnectsegregation," I highly suggest he put based" clubs is to connect with apiece ing UW students and community of home. They're far from their famia little more effort into knowing peolies and friends but through conversa- . - Cassandra Pofyiflu ple thatare affiliated with these groups, tions and friendships in their narive reconsider his diction and perhaps by 4BERS tongue, it alleviates the homesickness. then he'll have gained a betterperspecThere are plenty of interest-based • tive on what he's implying. UW doesn't segregate clubs out there. How about WPIRG, There's a lot more to it than the eyes can see. I understand why W cinet feels Bridge Club, Debating Society, UW . To the editior, Hip Hop Club? They're all a website that he's being left out and 'segreaway ( The article in this week's Imprint, "He ~ted.' However, I strongly believe that he has no idea ofwhat he's talking events calendar at the Feds website, a can'tspeakl\fandllrin,buthestillwants multitude of club meeting times and about and that he's only judging base to be your friend," caught my eye. on what is on the surface. Remember Weiner stated that, ''It feels like dates are listed for thoseinte~sted: the Intem~tional Shadow program is a that you should never judge a book by there ~ no opportunity to join this great starting point.·· its cover. group of friends and, more imporEveryone is here (U\~) for differtandy, one feels as if these students ent reasons. For the author of the -GNTang don't want to allow English speitking article, it was to expand his cultural part-time arts / distance cd students into their group." base. For others, it's to earn their Just for the record, not all of them degree. All I'm saying is don't look solely speak Mandarin. Some of them down upon those who are here for Is it wrong to be white? may speak another Chinese dialect. reasons different than yours. EverySome of them do speak English, but one's values..and intents are different To the editor, W ciner doesn't know that because they and ifyou don'tmeeteye-to-eye,move are too shy to use thatlanguage. W ciner on. shouldn't really call people ofthe same This letter is in response to an editorial recendypublished, entided "He can't culture hanging out together "packs." - Vanessa Wong Afterall,thatlabelmaybeusedonallthe speak Mandarin, but he.still wants to 2B urban planning. be your friend." I could not agree\vith various cultures audnationalities across the gendeman who wrote this more. this globe. Wf:tIRG benefits the students I too notice the packs around camI do agree with the writer that the pus that segregate race and ethnicity ,advantage of enrolling into To the editor, "multicultural university is the presand all of the clubs that seem to not ence of and the ability to learn about only promote, but support this racial In response to Kevin Redmond's let-, new cultures." Does he honesdy think segregation. I do not have a problem ter last week I would like to say that with these clubs existing and I am also that these groups aren't aware of that \VPIRG's initiative to bring David aware that a good number of these fact? They love the diversity as anyone Suzuki, one of Canada's most influclubs are open to any members that else does: They are just as curious ential activists, to our campus has would want to join, regardless of their about your culture as you are of theirs. enormous benefits for students, UW's I don't believe that the Federation race; but I do ponder one thing: what campus profile and the wider commuwould happen if someone were to of Students view this as "racial segrenity. start a Caucasian Club? gation." I believe that they view it as Part of the WPIRG mission is to any other club. Besides, the purpose Itwouldalmostdefiuitely be viewed motivate community members to act as flat outdiscrimiuation and would be of any club, whether it's in school or on environmental and social justice shunned by a good majority of stuoutside of school, is for people with issues. Bringing in a household name dents. But I have to ask what would be q:>mmon interests to get together and like Suzuki will help draw more people lllmgout It's to satisfy and fulfill their the difference between this club opincreasing the reach of the organizaposed to the South Asian Students need for affiliation. Everyonewants to tion's message. Association, the Korean Students Asbelong somewhere and if a club like Thanks to WPIRG's negotiation sociation, the Chinese Students AssoCSAis what they need, then I can't see with Suzuki's agents, students were anything wrong with it. ciation or theJapanese Students Assoable to see Suzuki at a free student ciation, just to name a few? Theremayjustbe'~apanesecook­ symposium in the SLC. Further, ing" and "Flamencodanciug" on cam-' On another note, I can't help but WPIRGarrangedareduced fee forthe pus. I remember there being many notice the incomprehension of Engentire visit Of the total cost, WPIRG cultural experiences on campus, while lish on this campus. I realize that UW contributedameagre 14 percent, with prides itself in being a diverse, multiI was there. I do believe the writer numerous other organizations subsiculturalcommunity,inwhichIhaveno needs to look a little harder. dizing the event. Where Suzuki can problem whatspevet; but the fact that There are dubs at the university sell out a house for $40 a ticket, UW that are based on "mutual interest," as a good portion of students (and prostudents will pay only $6. In addition Weinerputit. I don't think that these fessors) here can hardly be understood WPIRGwillhaveaDVDoftheevent, is a problem. I realize that many indigroups have a "racial segregation probavailable for students to sign out for lem". I do believe that \IV'einer's readviduals fluendy speak other languages free! and tlllit for mahy, these are their first ing it all wrong. Universities are not just places for If Weiner has a problem \vith languages. However, U\V is a Canalearning in 'windowless ~lassrooms dian, English speaking university and groups such the CSA siuce he doesn't but they are places where community seem to know what they stand for, the least that one could do is have the and academia interact, one learning why doesn't he ask them? ability to speak English to the degree from the other. We should be proud that they could be understood by the Having grown up in a cultural mithat our campus has a group like average person. nority, I'm insulted and appalled that WPIRG that can make use o( our I think I'll stop ranting now, but a universitY student doesn't understudent money to promote this kind stand the need for cultural affiliation in I hope that some people will take the dialogue. such a diverse institution. \X'hat irks time to read this and perhaps agree Any criticism of the use of Imprint me even more is that \\;!eineris calling \ me, or many will likely disagree, for the promotion ofUW events nebut one cannot argue the fact that it a racial thing. ''Racial'' is a verystrong glects to consider thatImprintis one of and harsh word. what I've said is more than li~elyvery true. ' the best ways to reach students and it By making that, statement, he's is Used, with that reason, by most implying that these groups, along\vith campus services, including the Federation ofStudents, are racist, . - A/aegan Kipftr Feds. Funds are simply being ttans1B accounting which I don't believe they are.








A hobby for every person It's easy to become engulfed in the drudge of never-ending work. There are always lengthy textbooks to read, idiot customers to help and classes to attend. The monotony seems to carry on into oblivion. Yet, there is a light shining through the abyss ofdaily life: hobbies. From stamp collecting to masturbating, hobbies serve as colourful escape routes from our black and white flaming buildings, I mean lives. Everyone needs a hobby for that little bit

of release that keeps us all relatively sane. Here area few suggestions from

Imprint: Martial arts Tim Alamenciak Whether you opt to go towards calm Tai Chi, or the violent, head-splitting satisfaction ofTaeKwonDo, martial arts is a cathartic and creative activity. In addition to physical fitness,itteaches

discipline, organization and respect both for yourself and for others. And as an added bonus, there are fewer things more stress relieving than shit-kicking a punching bag. When choosing a style, there are many different options to consider. Some focus more on holds, whereas others are orientedmoretowardspunches

and kicks. Thelevelofphysicalactivityis definitely a factor to consider as well. Weapons are also another useful consideration. Do you want to sling Nunchakulike Bruce Lee, orswingaBo like Donatello? Personally, I wholeheartedly recommend the Nunchaku, as illegal as they are. The much-maligned weapon is arguably the most graceful and elegant martial arts weapon both to watch and to practice. There are several clubs at UW that offer instruction in a wide range of

martial arts for only $40 per term. Schools of martial arts outside the campus tend to get a great deal more expensive. Membership fees are generally charged monthly as opposed to per-term, and range from about $60 and up. Plus uniforms are required, and individual belt testing comes with a high price. More equipment will be required as you advance in your studies of the arts. See FUN page 14

raduate school demystified: interview with a Hilton revolutionary. You trulY deserved thatNobel Prize. Flattery will get you everywhere,

G()()d t¢ternoon, Paris. Thankyou so much forjoining me. Now, asyou know, it's the time 0/ the year when maf!J students are contemplating the next step in their scholastic careers and considering applications for grml1lllte-levelprograms. I wasjust hojing thatYOH might be able to useyour considerable expertise to take some 0/ the fnystery out 0/ this process and talk my readers through it. Adam, I'd be glad to help! I have a lot of experience in graduate work; as you know, I have my PhD in particle physics, I'm a Certified Management Accountant and, of course, I hold an advanced degree in making sexy pouty faces from the Sorbonne.

It's true; having dabbled in the field myself, I can unequivocalfy state thatyour 5PF research has been nothing less than

Adam. Now, back to the topic at hand. When choosing a graduate-level program, the first thing you have to decide is whether you want a professional degree, or pursue further studies in academics. Ifyou have a record ofacademic achievement, marks in the 80s, some history of community involvement and a desire to make a positive difference in your community, you should probablypUrsuea piofessiorial degree. If, on the other hand, your marks are in the low 60s and you enjoy burning ants with a magnifying glass, your options pretty much boil down to a PhD or incarceration.

Interesting! No JJJOnder 17!Y professors are alwqys trying to burn me with a magnifying glass ... Just thank your lucky stars that your classes are not held in natural light. Yeah. 50, Paris, wl(y don't we start this r1f I?Y discussing professional options for

science students?

Let's see, there are alotofoptions for science students in the health care field. Ifyou enjoy working with people and watching ER, your best bet is medicine. The hours are long and the stress level is high, but the discipline affords you certain perks, includinga comfortable salary, unparalleled access to opiates and cool white coats. If you have all these characteristics as well as a high tolerance for animal feces, congratulations, you are a natural veterinarian. It may not have the prestige of socalled "human medicine" but let's face it dogs are cuter than senior citizens. NotMick~ R.oon~!ThatglfY's ador-

able! Touche. On to another topic: Enjoy Greco-Roman wrestling? The chiropractic discipline is basically the same thing, except your victims pay yoti and will usually not fight back. And do you know how satisfying it is to crack your knuckles? 1t' s about a thousand times more fun to do that to somebody else's spine. Den-

tistry, radiation therapy, physiotherapy and orthodontics are basically like medicine but less smelly.

Those are all important and prestigious professions. Except for chiropractors, those glfYs just creep me out. 50 what about our friendsin business, Paris? Whatcan th~do? Well, many business careers don't

require graduate work, butto get an edge over the competition and to gain a little additional job security, you can consider a masters in business administration or an accounting degree. If you have no redeemingcharacteristics, otherthan an ability to get people extremely excited about a new toothbrush marketing campaign and then explain to those same people two weeks later why they will never see their $34 million investment again, an l'vmA is the thing for you. Not onlywillitallowyou to start at a management-level position in most corporations, it also gives you a better shot at getting on The Apprentice. If, on the other hand, you have absolutely no ~characteristicswhatsoever,you

are a bom accountant.

ate options in the arts? Architecture is a great profession for creative individuals with a background in the fine arts, who enjoy wearing black turtlenecks and can successfully refer to a tool shed as "postmodem" without laughing. For arts students who get a big kick out of pushing people around yet are too weak to successfully fistfight, why not consider a career in law? And finally, for the small fraction of arts students who possess world-class wit and charm, an ability to woo beautiful members of the opposite, and occasionally, the same sex, and a certain flair for the English language, you may be among the blessed few who are able to pursue a career in journalism.

You forgot kungfo skills, Paris. Journalists need kungfu skills.

Tune in next week when Adam tackles the application process onlY this time, it's personal....

Fascinating. Finalfy, whatare somegradu-

Part four: a long pathway to nowhere

WhenMikeartivedatEricKatz's apartment, he had hoped for answers, not more questions. The whole situation of Will's death was saturated with things tJ.:tat made no sense. In retrospect, he didn't know why he had expected this to be any different. However, when he approached number five, of the apartments on High Street things did not improve. A man was leaving Eric's apartment, and he looked concerned. Mike walked over and spoke. "Excuse me, sir? Is this where Eric Katz lives?" ''Yup. Atleastitwas 'till yesterday. He up and left, he did. Paid up 'till the end of the month and all... Nothing illegal or nothin'. I jus' dunno where he

is now, 1'm afraid. Youafriendo'his?" Mike thought quickly, ''Ya, we've known each other for years," he lied, "I lent him some textbooks a while back and figured I should get them sometime. You know how it is." "Oh I sure do." The landlord said, ''1 heard them things cost a whole whack 0' money. I can see why you'd want 'em back." "Great! So,1 don't suppose you could let me in there to get them back, do you? 1'd just slip in for a second,grabmybooks and go. It'd be really great if you could." The landlord looked Mike up and down, leaned in closer and w~pered, "Ya know, I'm really not supposed to do somethin' like that. It's not real legal, ya know? And besides... " The landlord leaned in a little closer, "I think it's awful fishy that his room-

mate up and died and then 1-fister Katz here disappears, ifya knowwhat I mean. You seem like a good kid, and I wouldn't want you to get all mixed up in this 'cause you got some books lyin' about." "Thanks man," Mike said, ''You're a life saver." "T'aint nothing," the man said, ''Besides, I'm gonna come in with you, make sure you don't do nothin' y'aren't supposed to." With that said, the landlord opened the door and the two hurried inside. Mike made his way through the apartment, hoping it didn't look too much like he'd never been there before. He headed towards the rear of the apartment where the bedrooms

probably were. He glanced inside the He heard the bedroom door creak first room, which looked like it had open and quickly palmed the note he had been hurriedly cleaned out. Guessing found. When he looked up, he saw the that this was Eric's room, Mike went landlord looking at him suspiciously. ''1 in, leaving the landlord waiting in the was just out there thinking to myself, hall. There wasn't much left in the you said you knew this mister Katz room to look at. There were a few pretty darn well, but ya also asked me if papers lying around, and all of his this was his apartment. I don't think ya furniture was still there. Mike went wouldaaskedmethatify'adknownhim over to the desk and began looking at as well as ya say. I think you should leave the papers lying on and around it. now before! hafta get us all in trouble." Most of what he looked at was Mike obliged the landl<ird and left pretty standard stuff. It didn't mean the apartment quickly. He was glad that much to Mike, but it looked like it he still had something to go on, but the might be some kind of programming disappearance of Eric Katz certainly language scribble. Mike thought back didn't make him a killer. Mike was still to old detective novels he had read no closer to figuring anything out. If when he was younger, and rememanything he was farther away. Where bered how the cunning detective had would this address take him? Whatwas always looked in the garbage for that this number for? And who, or what last vital clue. Mike looked beside the was Medea? desk into the garbage pail. Sure enough, there was one crumpled piece ofpaper in it. He reached in and unrolled it on the desk. It had an address and a phone Check out prior instl1l1ments 0/ Ml1rk number written on it, and the word Ross' serial fiction online at 'rIfttu~"-itten undern~.. t· ••:f.·.· •• ~~Itt.'ri'n!ttte~~$·.·flff·+·f··~'t·t·f·t·4



Fun can be found in the most unusuallocations

2005 JOB FAIR * Network with over 150 employers * Learn about job opportu n ities * Hiringforfull-time, summer, co-op, contract and part-time jobs

continued from page 13 Origami Laura Katsirdakis For any of you who can't sit still without fidgeting, origami is for you. As lame as it may sound, paper folding is a great way to occupy yourself while sitting in a lecture, watching TV or riding on the bus. You don't need anything except a scrap of paper to make pretty much anything you want. So when your philosophy proffessor decides to go on a rant about his long-winded theory of the universe and you feel your consciousness wavering, take a scrap of paper and keep yourself awake by folding up a dragon or a flower. The nice thing about this hobby is that you can still listen to what is going on around you. And when you're done, you have a neat little trinket to leave behind. If, for example, you decide to give your lavender origami alligator to the bus driver as you step off on your stop, you may be surprised how your scrap paper can end up making someone else's day. This hobby is amazingly easy to pick up. Go to Chapters and look in the craft section. Somewhere between knitting and scrap booking are the origami books. There are always beginner books for those of you who have never tried it before. Another store in this area which offers origami books is the Papertree, located on King St. across from the Rude Native and Waterloo Town Square. The Papertree also sells origami paper, as does Michaels, which is located on Westmount Rd., in the same plaza as Philthy's. Happy folding!

Wednesday, February 2105 10:00 a.m. to 3:30 p.m. at RIM PARK 2001 University Avenue, E. WATERLOO

(fromHu Theatre B manities

FREE transportation providedUs LaY~By) FREE admission with student/alumni ID



E,-om the Dircd()J- of Hero and the star of Crouching Tiger,

Hiddell Dragon



House of Flying Daggers (14A. In Mandarin with English subtitles) Nightly at 9:25 only The Sea Inside Fri-Mon 7:00; Tues 9:45 Wed-Fri9:20


A Very long E'ngogement (1 8A) Fri-Mon 9:35; Tues 9:45; Wed-Fri 9:20 Cannes 2004 Advertising Festival (PG)

LAST NIGHT Fri 4:35 Starting Feb 4 at 7:00 Bad Education (1 8A) 24Hr Film Hotline: 885-2950



<25 Steakhouse-DipiI

QUlznoS us



3 99 •


plus ~ms

Q·:t~~ : ~ I ..

00 combo after 5 P.M •

plus taxes

Save up to 8.991

With the purchase of any 3 regular subs This coupon valid on delivery orders only - redeemable at 220 King Street N location only- - - - clip and redeem this valuable coupon - - - - -

WE DELIVER 886-7897


Knitting Dave Mansell My 85-year-old grandmother once told me that in her father's time, every man could knit. In the same way that hunter-gatherers had to collect food, many men in those days regularly made their own socks and underwear or they would have had none. It is without a doubt a very primal skill that many of us overlook. After returning home to \'Vater100 after four years of school in British Columbia, I had to live with my grandma. Life with Grams had more to offer than living with other cocky 22-year-olds like myself. I would see her just knitting and watching Murder She Wrote almost everyday. I challenged her to teach me. I was amazed at how methodical and relaxing it was. At the time, I was working a hectic day job, so instead of just coming home and plunking down to watch TV, I would knit and watch at the same time. In the first couple weeks, I made scarf and then some mitts and finally a sweater. Needless to say that my guy friends expressed concern and even made fun of me a little; I just told them to piss off.


Believe it or not, these flowers are made of paper.


Knitting is manly, not just for granny! Three of my sisters, my niece, an ex-girlfriend and other close friends have received knitted gifts that were more enjoyable than any stone could ever be. To my personal delight, I soon discovered an interesting side effect that knitting yields. I find that at 'parties and outings, girls are bewildered, (and sometimes aroused) when I tell them that I made my own hat and mitts. Some have even asked to receive tips or lessons (of course I did my best to accommodate them). And,! noticed thatmyconversations were much more interesting than the guy next to me who darted straight for the blonde to tell her about his buddy's keg party next Friday. Don'tgetmewrong, I've been to many a raging kegger and love the barley pops too, but I just know that women find it sexy when a man is completely uncompelled to verbally boast about how masculine he is. Some guys try way too hard, when true masculinity can presentitselfsimply in the form ofconfidence in one's skills and appreciation of the skills of others, regardless ofwhat they are. I still knit every once in a while and to date have made about 20 or so items for both others and myself. So all you men out there who think knitting is for old grannies, you're missing out on a lot: warm stylish clothes, cheap easy gifts and something that you can brag about to the ladies that won't land you a drink in the face.

PC Gaming Ernie Lau In the realm of electronic gaming as a hobby, PC gamingis particularly addictive; and with good reason. I t requires only computer literacy, a computer, and a few games from your local E.B. or Radio Shack. The results are endless hours of creative fun or a few minutes of nerveracking frustration (especially if your computer is not fast enough to play your new game). Or, if you don't have the spacious room and aren't electronic sa""", you can always start at your local games

arcade. In Waterloo, you can drop through a hole in the Student Life Centre and land in the Campus Cove. In Kitchener you could take a trip out to Zapper's, across from Kitchener City Hall. They charge you respectively $3 and $4 per hour of good computer gaming. Thelatestgames, the most advanced hardware, the fastest connection and the fact that it's a cluster of computers means a lot of group fun. Compared to other forms ofvideo gaming, this one offers the most amount of replay, the most creativity, the most benchmarking, the most variety, the most genres and the most capacity for saving memorable gaming moments. If what you're looking for is electronic gaming, unlimited fun and the above list ofcthe most things', then PC gaming is the hobby for you. See HOBBIES page 15



Hobbies: Magic cards, music and dancing continued from page 14 Magic: the Gathering Scott Houston Ifyou hear someone say "Trading card game" there is only one game that comes to mind: Magic: the Gathering. A game that dates back to the mid '90s, Magic has been a mainstream hobby for quite a few years. At first, the game play seems intimidating and complicated, however, after playing a few rounds, you soon learn the ins and outs of the game. It's easier than it looks. The best way to get started is to buy a pre-constructed theme deck such as the Snake's Path set. Theyofferachance to learn the deck mechanics and synergies, while also letting you stay on a budget. These usually retail for around $15, and give you a good place to jump off from. When you become more skilled, the boosters, tournament packs, and singles are what you are searching for. Boosters run for around four dollars,

while toumamentpacks are three times more expensive, however, they give you 75 cards, as opposed to 15. You can purchase singles based on rarity - common, uncommon and rare. Price-\vise for the rares, and some of the more useful uncommons, you can expect to pay upwards of $50. Premium versions of the cards are also available, as noted by their "foiled" appearance, they cost a bit more due to the luxury of playing \vith a shimmering card. The best part of Magic: the Gathering is the social aspect. There's nothing more fun than getting together \vithagroupof friends for a litde competition (face it, you live to compete,) and trying out new strategies for decks, and just having fun. Magic: the Gathering recognized this and released two joke sets, Ullglmd and Unhinged. Both sets feature cards that are meant for totally casual play. For instance, Ashnod's Coupon from Ungllfedhas the ability to make target

player get you target drink, providing you pay the costs. Magic the gathering is a wonderful game to pick up. There are no shortage of players, there is even a pro tour! Go to your local hobby retailer and find out more from them, you'll be glad you did! Swing dancing Tom Levesque Swing dancing is not only Waterloo's best-kept secret but also its most addictive. So addictive,in fact, that most people who try more than one lesson do not have the \\~power to stop. The/il1dyhopvarietyofsv:ingdancing is much more than a series of steps and movements that amount to a dance. Unlike some forms of dancing, lindy places an emphasis on momentum, connection and weight transfer. Those who have attained an almost J edi-Ievel mastery of lindy can glide across the dance floor with grace and precision. But fear not, the greatest attribute of the \'i/aterloo dancing community is its appeal to beginners. The U\'\' Swing and Social Dance Club offers free weekly lessons in addition to numerous off-campus venues to learn lindy, socialize and dance. As a beginner, you \\~ learn the basic footwork - step-step-triple-step - and moves needed to start dancing right away. For the ladies: the oft-touted dancing prime directive is to make you look

good and feel good, so what do you have to lose? Gents, this is your opportunity to watch theladies light up at your use of anticipation, confidence, self-awareness and trust. For more information, visit Before you know it, you will be step-step-triple-stepping your way home. Guitar Darren Hutz Like music? \X'hy not make music! Guitar is a great\vay to fight stress, kill time and express one's self. First you need an axe. As a beginner, it is best to start with an acoustic guitar, to avoid complicated things like chords, amps and electricity. Acoustics are good to bring to parties and campfires alike. Just whip it out and, poof, instant sing-along.You can rent or buy guitars from Long&l\IcQuade, Waterloo Music, orany music store or thrift shop. When selecting from the variety of ne\,- and used instruments, it's good to bring someone in the know to help you fmd something that is easy to play and will stay in tune. Guitars that are made out of solid pieces ofwood (instead of

ply\vood) are less likely to deteriorate \vith age, so that's something good to consider. I recommend Canadianmade Art & Lutherie solid cedar top. Foradecent,newentry-Ievelguitar you should expect to pay $250 - $300. do not, I repeat do not buy a guitar from Radio Shack or Sears, unless you're just looking for a living room decoration to collect dust. Tuners, capos, pics, guitar straps and a set of extra strings are all handy toys. No instrument has more readily available online learning material than the guitar. It even has its own type of notation: tablature. Tabs literally show you exactly where to put your fmgers, no classical theory required. Lessons can be useful for the fmer points, but make sure you don't get to a point\vhere your teacher is just showing you songs. Go online, Google the tabs of your favourite songs, and learn them yourself. You'll be playing everything from "Smoke on the \'\'ater" to Sublime's "What I Got" in no time. Everyone likes having someone around to play their favourite songs, and there's nothing more rewarding than a good jam sesh with a couple other players.

you CO Id 1 of 5 trips to

Id alsO





Or enter online at

Chew Dentyne* gum and get Present 5 product packages from any Dentyne* product when you're buying your ski lift ticket from any of the participating ski hills and you could get

Up to 25% in savings!!tt for more info.

Chicopee Ski Club, Kitchener, ON Hockley Valley Resort, Orangeville, ON Sir Sam's, Haliburton, ON Oshawa Ski Club, Orono, ON

t NO PURCHASE NECESSARY. Promotioo> Period: December 2~ 2004 through Ma~h n, 2005 at 11:59 PM lEn IfISit .....dentynecontest<com to enter the IlentyM ke' "Heat up the HiU" Promotion and S""I>SIakes. Correct an_ to sIt~1 testing question required. See _ for ful prize details and Official Rule< Regulartext "",saging fees apply to entries into the Promotion or Swee¢aiIes by test mes,,~ng. PROMOTION: Open to residents of Canada wIIo are tlyrs of ag' or older. PrIzes: 50 x0.\'11,"" Seewboalillodds 1in 36,090, IARV) $499.00).100 xBoot Dryer(odds 1in la,l)4~ AWl $59.99), 100 xHj1I<ation Pack (odds 1in 18,045. AWl $59.99), 250 xPerullian Sid Hat lodds 1in 7,218. ARY $18.00). Um~ of one II) priz, per person. The number of entries intothe Promotion is Hmitod and entry avai~bIe only .~~ the supply of game plays last< SWEEPSTAKES: Open to res~ents of Canada who are the age of ma~rity and older in their provinc. of residence. PrIzes: r.. 15) Weekend Trips for three (3) to Banff. Alberta. Some restrictions apply. Appnwmat. ret," value IARV) $6.000.00 1_ on a Toronlo departure). Odds of winning depend on the ~ of eI~ible

entries received. Umit of one (I) prize per pmo. tt Actual discount programs vary by participating slti MI. Oiscount programs in effect from January 3, 2005 until the ear1ier of the close of the 2005 slti season or April 30, 2005. Restrictions and ~ackoot periods may apply. See and cfidl on the ski lift ticket icon for full program detail< Discount can not be used in conjunction with 'ny other discount 01 promotion. â&#x20AC;˘ Trademark, used under lkense.



Torrential downpour floods Gerogetown

Roadsides in Guyanahave always been popular formany activities. In a countrywith few proper public spaces, they serve as places of commerce, socialization and relaxation. For some unfortunate souls they are home. They are always lively but today, people have no choice but to be there. The roadsides of Guyana's east coast are the only dry ground remaining. People, vehicles andlivestockare strung out on mile aftermile of the two major east-,v'Cst roads while their homes sit under three to five feet ofwater in the worst flooding this nation has ever experienced. It's been 13 days now since the skies opened up and dumped a metre of rain on Georgetown and its environs, bringing life in the city to a standstill and forcing thousands from their flooded homes. Meanwhile, far inland the dams of Demerara Water Conservancy have buckled under the deluge, sending vast amounts of water surging towards the already serverely inundated coasr.,.

Riding west from the now dry Georgetown centre in the back of a Red Cross pickup truck, the sight is one of complete sorrow. Entire families sit under whatever shelter they can fashion for themselves, calling out for food, water and medicine as vehicles pass. Our pickup was forced to stop frequently when surrounded by those seeking anything we had to spare. Unfortunately we had nothing to offer. Our mission was to assess the situation and the "Budding Hope" housing scheme. Once in Budding Hope, our small assessment team was met by Gavin Dargan, whose family has taken responsibility for the surrounding families. The Red Cross prefers to co-ordinate needs, assessment and delivery with local community leaders. This avoids the mob scenes that develop when a truck full of food suddenly appears in the midst of a crowd of desperate people. Earlier that same day, a Red Cross aid convoy was forced to make hasty retreat from a squatter settlement when a rush of people overwhelmed the line and began climbing up the sides of the truck. The heavy lead truck was able to escape when it crushed an obstacle the mob had t4town~qoss the road, all~wingthe

team to depart. We waded out to Dargan's speedboat and began to navigate through the neighbourhood. The second stories of homes on both sides popped up from above the uniform brown and fetid waters, with people in rescue positions filling every inch of dry space. Several homes had more than 20 people, with four separate families each taking refuge within. Allin all, we catalogued the needs of 53 families and waded back to the truck discussing how large of a boat we would need tomorrow. As the sun set on a frantic day of relief work, I felt confident that ~e':' spite the initial hiccups, the aid e£f()rt ... ' was going to be equal to the ~l before it. .

relief effort. The government doing all that it can to mana~~ crisis. However, shut down the teic$siolB 51


mission, which is sponsible fotCo-Orttitla relief. . Later, 11 sen,iox NGO community that the . .

Josey Vogels: safe sex Olympian

There's no better line to rev up a crowd than, "Does anyone here like having sex?" Josey Vogels sure knew her stuff, as she educated sex-interested students this past Wednesday. From "safe sex Olympics" to Hello Kitty Vibrators, Joseyproved to the roughly 300 enthusiastic students that she in fact is Canada's own Carrie Bradshaw. A journalism graduate from Concordia Univetsity,Joseywas always "the informed friend" about sex. She began writing a sex column titled MY Mes,ry Bedroom and her reputation as a sexpertballoonedin theyears following. Now the author of five popular sex books including Bedside Manners: Sex

EtiquetteMadeEafY,Joseyhasdedicated the past 10 years of her life promoting safe and healthy sexual lifestyles.

The night's presentation was both fun and informative. Josey dispelled many myths about sex and sexual activity and even discussed the hardships of "falling in love" and the joys of "really connecting with another person." Through her personal sexual tales and her advice on proper sex etiquette, Josey's professionalism and wide range of sexual information allowed everyone to enjoy the evening- this was an educational session for both your novice sexual supporter andyour resident sexpert. My absolute favourite aspect of Josey's presentation was her motivation regarding masturbation. She animatedly enlightened the crowd about her participation in a "masturbate-athon," and referred to the words of Woody Allen to make us all feel good about pleasuring ourselves: "Don't knock masturbation, it's sex with someOne you love". Unfortunately, Josey's crowd wasn't as open about sex as she was. Yelling out the occasional comment,

most students preferred to discuss sex from their seats. There were some keeners though, who jumped up at the opportunity to participate in Josey's games (some more keen than others). Josey's motto of the evening, "You teach people how to treat you," reinforced to the crowd how essential it is to bein charge ofyour own sexual experiences and make sure you're getring what you need from a sexual partner. The sexpert concluded her session with some fun sex trivia and thanked the audience by showering them with condoms and lube. Good times! J oseywas smiley and approachable, and hung around after the presentation to answer specific sex/ relationship questions and take photos. I was thrilled with Josey's fun yet educational approach to sex - it's no wonder she's so successful! For more information about Josey Vogels, visit her website at




Fourth Competition - Academic Year 2005/2006


~lctill • • ~1,_5

Open to all disciplines of study. the IJOal of the feUowships is to build a cadre of younq Canadians who can play a leadin~ role in today's Imowled~e-based ~Iobal economy and thus contribute to the prosperity of Canada and to society worldwide. Interested candidates must hold at least one univerSity d~ree, show outstandinq academic performance as well as personal suitability and present a clear study plan or a combination of study and research or worn at an institution abroad. Fellowships are sponsored by 1. Armand Bombardier Foundation, a private foundation created in 1965 to perpetuate the memory of the life, achievements and social and humanitarian work of Joseph Armand Bombardier. The proqram is mana~ by the Canadian !)ureau for ImernationaiEducation (CBIE). Applicants are required to complete the online application form and forward supportin~ documents to CBlE by mail. for further information, please visit the web site hnp:l/W\l1W.cbie.caIbom6ardierlinde~e.html or contact,

1. Armand Bombardier Internationalist fellowships Canadian Bureau tor International Education 220 Laurier Avenue West, Suite 1550 Ottawa, Ontario KIP 5Z9 Tel, (613)237-4820, ext. 234.



fax: (613) 237-1073


fill, ."" .l"", PeVllwed -PIlI 21

Getting ready to educate the masses路 'We've had sound guys when they come to do our shows kind of complain about us ina sense of like, What lndie bands are fun. Especially when are you doing? You're makingmy life they seem to be right on the edge of anightmare!"' adds Bryan Peters, who something and you can just barely see plays the violin as well as the electric them peering out over it. There's alfiddle and the mandolin. "And we're like yeah, but it sounds fun. And the ways a matutingprocess with bands: a period to pay their dues while'they find audieflce is the same way, theire like, their sound, solidify their act and just 'Yeah, this is vool!'" generally figure out what kind ofband Adding the strings to the tradithey're actually in. And.when they're tionalguitar-drums-bass-voca1s combination has translated into success well on their way up that learning for the Skeptics. ''It seemed to get a curve, it's a pretty exciting time. Suit's interestingwhen Caleb Boyd, good reception," says Peters. "Alotof drummer for KW'sEducatedSkeptics, people are interested in our sound, so says, "If we're maybe huge and we we're getting more shows." suddenly get radio play and we're goThe Educated Skeptics have also ing somewhere it'd be interesting to been benefiting from what looks to see where it went. I mean, you could be an expanding live music scene in always take a year off schooL" KW. ''I think it's starting to point It's funny beback ift -that direccause it's spoken tion," says Peters. like a true univer"I've seen a lot of "Two days of sity student (the places lately statting recording is like a to grab more live band is comprised ofboth current and week of exams ... music acts ... peoformer students of ple are starting to and before. you UW and WLU). like [going to] see But more itnporthelive show again, know it, you're at get tandy, it's interestout ofthe dance your dub and do someing because itillus- Tim Horton's trates the hesitant thing a bit differboxer shorts with a ent. optimism of a Which is aweband that's just figsome because you wig on." uring out where start to get more they are, where _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _...2-_ __ gig opportunities." . they're going and what's going to happen when they get As they've taken advantage of there. those opportunities, the band has Pinning down "your sound" is not also developed their approach to their always easy with a band like the Edumusic. "Lately I think we're more in catedSkeptics. Theunderlyinggrooves tune with trying to structure the songs are easy enough to classify - the term so that they have more funk," says "funk-rock" comes immediately to Boyd. "Initially,-we were kind of all mind - but then there's the violin. - over the place. We have a betterideaof "Everybody always likes the viowhat we want to sound like." lin," says guitarist Art Winter. "That's The Educated Skeptics are taking what you get most of the comments this new sense of self into the studio about, because the rest ofit, I think, is to record an album, which they ho~ relatively standard. To play funkis not to release later this year. The band has too far out there, but to throw a violin already released a couple of demos in there . . . nobody gets that. Why (available at, would 'You do that? including one that was laid down in Ian Blechschmidt



Justin Liu, Art Winter, Bryan Peters, Caleb Boyd and Dave Sparling, looking all badass. September 2004. The way the band describes it; the recording of one of theiJ; early demos - self-produced in singer Justin Liu's basement - is a perfect example ofa band on aleatning

curve. ''Two dJlYS of recording is like a week of exams," says drummer Dave Sparling. "And hefore you know it," adds Peters, "you're at Titn Horton's in your boxer shorts with a wig on." 'We just kind of chucked everythingintoourleadsingerJustin'sbasement and rented just like amish-mash of stuff," says Peters. "Most of us didn't even really know what we were doing, it was sort of like a tech dream;

you're looking at hundreds ofdollars of equipment that you never [got] to play with before and trying to learn it in a halfhour and set everything up. It was a mess ... but I mean, the sound that came out of it sounded pretty decent, so we were pretty pleased and we're just trying to get something that's a little more CD quality right now. " Now that the band has a solid identity and a more evolved sound"someofth~songshavemajorchords

now," quips Wmter- the Educated Skeptics are ready to expand out ofthe KW area. And with more shows and an album in the hopper, the word of

the day is "evolution." The'band continues to maintain their cautious optimism - their "educated skepticism" if you will- and seems to be taking things one step at a time. Whether or not they'll wind up going platinum (as Boyd puts it) remains to be seen; but as with the many independents who are ready to move ~p to bigger things, the EducatedSkeptics still have a hint of that same mdie-rock excitement. And on some level, you haye to wonder if they're thinking, '''fonightthe Bombshelter tomorrow the world."

to for a





\\7ith what is being touted as the biggest and most important Electronics Entertainment Expo (E3) right around the corner, new details are trickling down daily from the "leaky" holes in companies. Thc;se trickles, while tastier than Twinkies dipped in ketchup, are sometimes too good to be L'lle. Others are just good enough to be true, and Nintendo's are just damn mysterious. So, starting at the bottom, the Xbox 2was mentioned s lightly in Bill Gates' CES keynote speech, and the turnout" miH has tossed out a few 1nter,,~Hlng tidbits. Well, not really. The rurnours are more like crumbs of toast on the counter. Gates talked abourhis enormous lust to take over your Jiving room. He wants the Xbox 2, supposedly codenamed XttlOfl, to be integrated \vith the rest ofthe Borg, err, lYl.icrosoft components that are oh-50-numer· ous in your A V set-up. As well, he spoke of having your MSN messenger list and Xbox LI\'E buddy list interconnected. Wen, I believe the whole idea of Billy-the·geek invading your living room, but I doubt its success. The enormous failure of every l\ucrosoft TIVO-clone is testament to that. This idea of convergence and communication between everything is going to be a hot topic in the coming years, and by jumping the trend so early, ]\licrosoft is gambling.llowever, since the Xbox 2 ",'ill be backed by bazillions ofdollars in dirty monopoly money, they don't have much to worry about. T'hePS3 is riding the ViR\"eS of its cell processor. Not much has been

!IJ lit

bttemhm 611-Hoor l"t<'i!f_ cmssr_ M~1t Tedmiql:!~

III l)au~d

b_" f'tm1W3

III ~!tp(~emWe r~ M-'tt~ml~ !III !m:_~ lt~~ C~nlflmt~

ill }o& G.~-;aut* tm:~ l1li

Til<:>mJlnds of

Satl~d SW:d~'S




trol said about the console itself, aside from their choice of using Sonr-developed Biu-Rar discs. The processor, though, is said to revolutionize the personal computt:r. Again, the future plans are to have devices with cell processors able to communicate with each other. Though the presence of a few cell processors !;las been confinned, not too much else has. The obvious choice ofBiu-Ray is the only other detail we have, and I see a problem with that. Speculation cteates buzz, and unfortunately there is not nearly as much to speculate about here than with the other companies. Alas, Sony is constantly over-promising and underdelivering, so perhaps they have learned their lesson. And then there's the Nintendo Revolution. Esse11tiall}~ they're playing catch-up with this console, planning to integrate broadband (0000h1), a hard drive (ahhhl) and maybe even games that you can actually play online. On tl1e bright side, the console is allegedly going to launch \vith a new Mario game, and the new Zelda that Nintendo teased us with at last year's E3. The controllers are rumoured to be gyroscopic, so that all that control· ler-yanking some people do will actuaUyhelp. The real interesting bit for garners is speculation on what exactly makes it so revolutionary. The leaker·-ofdetails said his source merely stated, "touching is good but feeling is better." Hm, mysterious. Perhaps this will be the first console with a mature rating out of the box. Honestly, though, revolutionary things are more dangerous than beneficial in gaming. Garners are resistant to change, and generally take the 1~'0'JIB 's lForld ap· proach of fearing sudden change. Depending on the revolution, though, it could be good. The leak also cautioned against thinking too hard. I don't have any issues with that, but my specularjons fall short of realistic. ] honestly cannot think of anything that they could do that would make sense, and that hasn't been done before. Perhaps some sort of electroshock controller? Direct brain interface? Smell-o-gaming? ()yeral~it' s difficult to predict \vho will come out ofthe gates the strong;est. In the next few months, the nunours \vill keep pumping out, but nothing \vill be concrete unlil E3. Luckily we havcn'theard anything about a ncw NGage .l\Iaybe Nokia has finally realized that nobody likes them, and they make terrible game machines.

Mixtap madness -- Songs about ars Dave George-Cosh ~-.-~-----


.. -



Aren't typical guys supposed to be into cars andgettingdrunbvith bikini models? But what jf you're not into cars, like me? Can I still get drunk with bikini models? Here's a bunch ofsongs thatl1 help any poor soul fake theitway into kno\vinga thing or two about cars -.-- although I can't promise that it'll help getting drunk with bikini models. But it's worth a shot.

Fire released an EP with this gem 011 it. Encapsulating a rich sound that was perfected on Fttili!ral, Ret,rine and \\/in bot]} want to take you to a place where .no cars are supposed to go.

most twisted duos to get your motor mnning. Tinges of speed metal oddly arise frorn this track., which only forces rem to put that pedal tn the metal, and in th e \vords of Gene \X'een, "Hit that line like old Dick Trickle."

Drive My Car - The Beatles "Baby, you can drive my car," goes the familiarrefrain offthe classicBt..-atles album, RJibber SouL And then I got it, it's not about cars; it's ,tbout getting laid. Oh Lennon/McCartney, your silly allusions will always bring a smile to my face.

Aluminum ~ White Stripes Cars have got to be built somehow, right? The St,':ipes' crunching guitar riffand cymbal crashes coincide at the end of the song\vithJack White's distorted screams PU1S you d(~ad center in the assembly line of a generic car manufacturer. Grrm:rrtriiiiiiiiinnd!

De10rian - Rocket From The Crypt You'll have to scour hard to fInd this RFfC B-side, released as a 7·· inch single for a hotrod enthusiast magazine, but believe me, it's worth the et1ort. Staying true to their uni{lue rock'n'roll revival sound, I can't help but picture myself in a . Delorian, flying through time just like Marty McFly did oh-so-long ago.


One of the better Queen songs that doesn't feature Freddy J\,Iercury on vocals, this track conv-1nces me that there are actually people out there who literally sleep with their cars. Fancy a shot of1 OW-30? I'm sure Brian May would gladly take you up on that offer.

Drive Dead Slow-Sahara Hotnights One of the few gems illuminating from Sweden after the world caught onto The Hives, this all-girl band adds attitude and catchy pop-hooks to this song off their latestrelease C'nJonLet:, Go. Would you drive all night to see your lover? 1£ not, maybe this song would change your mind.

No Cars Go - The Arcade Fire

Stroker Ace - Ween

Before you all boughtfnto the hype ofthe phenomenall'l!l1eml, TneArcade

Nothing like a tribute to the Burt Reynold's 70s hit from one of music's

I'm In Love With My Car- Queen

Everything I know about ska But hey, I'm totally willing to learn

The Makeshift Heroes Not So Fast! rEP} Confidential

Rightnow I'mwearingaLess ThanJake t-shirt. I like Less ' Jake. l11ey play quick., catchypO\verpunk and back it up with some rockin' horns. They sing songs about Johnny Quest and about oyer a guy named Doug. /\nd theyputflngood sh( )WS with huge cirdc pits. That's all ska needs to be, right? Not so f"st. Clearly, J don't know what the hell I'm talking about, and the deeper I get into tbis record, fhe more thatbecomes abundanrlydearthatin the right hands, ska is much much more. For example, though some b,mds tend to relegate their hom $L'<:t1011 to a supporting role behind the guitars, The Makeshift Heroes, a seven-piece

Fuel- Mctallica There is nothing good about this song. liust wanted to use this song as an opportunity to get 011 a soapbox and tell everyone how much }\fetallica sucks. CliffBurton continues to roll in his grave.




minutes long. Ifyou're like me and you think that ska is Goldfinger v.'ilh a trumpet pla)'er, this is a bit of a shock. But the Heroes use the extra space wel~ creating a great variety, despite the ShOl1 track listing.;\ bout halfthe time, the songs arelaid-back -_.-mellow eyen and meander along with long, rich, drawn-out horn solos and hannonies. The other halfofthe rime, the}\ lakeshift Heroes just want you to completely skank out. (Pleasenote ..--the tern} "skarlk out" the time .. refers to the danc-

from Totonto,givetheit horn-blowers a cha~ce to ... well, blow. As the ones who generate most of the melody and almost all of the hooks for Not So Fa.rt!, Da\-e \'{'ickhmd (alto sax), Angelal\ior11S (tenor sax), Andre 1,O\yy (trumpet) and Yvonne J\!oir (baritone sa.."\':) drive the Heroes' brand of skaright back to its roots. The reg11;ae in· fluence shows through prettv About half clearly on this disc the songs are right from the first track, with the gui· back ... the other half tar (Ben Fox), ai'1d drums (Jesse of the time, U s.ber) laying Makeshift Heroes down a consistentlr offbeat, up just want you tempo groove. completely skank Branko Scekicanchors the whole out. shmear "'ith some fat bass and bet,,lfe you can say "Oil Oil Oil" yourtoc It's always fun

is tapping and you'rehavmg a hard time smylng in rout seat. Ofcourse, theintcrestingthingabout having a bigger, more developed band is that you can have bit,,>t;er, moredcveloped songs. It's a bit of a surprise to notice that theEP .-.- \vhich only has five songs 011 it - is more than 26


. Lanegan J\fatkLanc;gan could sing Popular Alec'banics tome and I'd think it'd be awesome, so the addition of this song is rather biased. 11owever, it fits and that's what matters. \Y/ith a slow strum. of an acoustic guitar witl1 accompanyingpiano and sax, Lanegan adds his devilishly unique baritone to a tale of driving away from unrequited love. Simply beautifuL

The band does not necessarily want you to startgetting all slutty. I \vouJdn't

hut I'm not in a band, so nobody cares.)

to find sornething that defies yourexpect.ations. 'n1ough I'ln not going to stop listening to Less Than Jakc---· and I do miss the songs about screwibg over that guy named Doug-- rl! continue to consider l'\Jot S(}E:ld! a lesson weU-learned. Ian Blechschmidt






Can you i agine

hat the ne

5 years will bring?

Interested? Go to before January 28, 2005, to apply for the many high profile Co ... op opportunities we have to offer. Wireless Co-op opportunities in Waterloo, Mississauga and OHawa are open.

Are you?

YOU informed su byie-maii, fax, telephone or "ng In to the , your name,. student ID, year, parent's addressJ telephone and HAln


youre..mail . This info strictly confidential and only used keep'" ing you updated on Imprint's upcomingievents. LET THE PLANS B.EGINII mprintuwaterloo~ca;


tel (519) 888-4048 ; SLC 1116



This column has not been formatted to fit your television day we know as "widescreen."Their reasonlngwas thatif they could convince people that movies were better than television because you got to see more picture, people would come back. It "vas. a good idea, but this eventually created a bigproblem. Since widescreen movies were fr~med "wide" they could no longer be shown in their entirety on the much smaller "square" television screens.

This week, it's history time. Unlike my fellow columnists, I don't want to discuss global issues, politics, or even make fun of the American president. No, I'm beyond such trivial fluff -;I'mgonna use my precious columnspace to bitch about DVDs. I n a perfect world More specifically, fullscreenDVDs. everybody reading In a perfect world, everybody reading thesewordswou1davoidfullscreenDVD these words would . releases like theywould Village One caf avoid fullscreen DVD food Alas, statistically speaking at least half of the people reading this column releases like they .regularly buy fullscreenmovies~ would Village One Here's the deal: a long, long time ago, in a Hollywood not all that far caffood ... away, movies were king. The public would fill theatres and studios' pockets to the brim watching their "full screen" movies. Then one terrible day, And so, a process known as "Pan television was invented. and Scan" was created. Basically film Yes, this much blamed "menace to editors would edit the ftlm using a society" was an even bigger problem square area of the image equivalent to to movie studios than it was to any- . what would be visible on television body else. You see, people were not screens, and it was their job to moveit going to see movies anymore. And along the full image in accordance with why would they when they could get the action. hours of free entertainment in the There are some people out there, comfort of their living rooms? So, the none of them Imprint readers I'm theatetpeopleimprovised-theyciune sure, who actually believe that up with something they called widescreen movies have the top and "Cinemascope." bottom cut off. This could not be Essentially they invented whauofarther from the truth. Fullscreen

movies are the ones that are cut: sometimes more than 50 per cent of the original image is lost. If you are a film fan, or consider ciftema to be an art form even in the slightest, then this butchery is sacrilege. ~'hy anybody would want to only see half a movie baffles me. Yes, black bars on the top and bottom of the screen are annoying. I'll buy that. But you know what? Head down to Future Shop, Best Buy, any electronics store and take.a look at the TVs that are for sale. Notice anything? Almost all of themarewidescreen. Whatthis means is thatmostDVD releases,andanincreasingnumberoftelevision broadcasts, can take advantage ofthis fact and display a widescreenimage on a widescreen TV in ... you guessed it, fullscreen. This means ·that all of those people withfullscreenDVDswillbecomplainingevenlouderin the future when their movies only take up the middle of their television: screens, leaving the sides empty. So, whatcanwelearn fromallof this? Simple: fullscreenis thedevil. Ifyou have any hope of keeping your DVD collection useful in the future, and as a DVD enthusiast I can tell you that the format will be mainstream for at least another20yeats, thengowithwidescreen. Not to mention the, fact thatif you can ignoretheblackbal:s,the pictureisbeau.tiful. ~hew. I just had to get that out of my system. Just don't get me started on non-anamorphic DVDtransfers and I think I'll be all right.

The future of punctuation in grave danger

Eats, Shoots and Leaves: The Zero Tolerance Approach to Punctuation Lynne Truss Gotham Books

Chantel Williams IMPRINT STAFf

Sticklers unite! Finally a book has come along that speaks forall the p~plewho cringewhen they see an apostrophe in a possessive 'its.' Eats, Shoots andLeavesby Lynn Truss is a book that lashes out against the punctuation errors thatexist in abundance throughout our society. Wtthexamples stemmingfrom the store signs in your local neighbourhood all the way to Warner Brothers Inc., Truss shows that the mistakes are becomingall too serious to ignore. . Truss'bookisnotaboutgrammar,a factthatsheclearlystatesearlyoninthefirst chapter. It is a book about punctuation


and the blatantdisregard people have for it these days. By educating the readers in a highly laid-back and comedic style. Truss preventsthereaderfromexperiencingfeelings oftnferiorityand substandardness. Andwhynot?Thepurposeofthisbook is to get people engaged in how they write, not to bark down their throats. The author even humbles herselfby admitting she also was once ignorant about proper punctuation rules:Truss argues that this ignorance ofthe rules of punctuation can be found among every circle ofsociety, even amonguniversity graduates."How can it be a matter of classdifferencewbenignoranceistloiversal?" she notes.' " She then goes on to say that there is absolutely no excuse for this ignorance concemingpunctuation;eventhemuch favoured scapegoat, the U.S.,isnotconsidered blameworthy.. The book applies to everyone who speaks the English language - those who know they can't write it properly, and the rest who think they can. Once youleam to ignore the redundancy ofthe book's examples and look at what it is Truss is actually saying, the message becomes crystal clear - the future of punctuation is in jeopardy. Truss stresses thatpunctuationis just as important as the words it separates; it is awayofknowingwhatthosewords are supposed to mean. The pauses and emphasesin our speech are formed from reading a text framed in punctuation. Sogoahead,pickupTruss'bookand getintouch with your inner stickler!

Stratford Festival preps new seas,on Adam Gardiner IMPRINT STAff

Theatre lovers, take your seats! The Stratford Festival of Canada opened their box office to the public last week, allowing audiences to begin reserving spaces for the upcoming 2005 season.



setring, will offer a contrast to the fairy-tale setting of Into The Woods; b~ musi~als are new to the Festival. Two Tennessee Williams plays, Cat on a Hot Tin Roof and Orpheus Descending, will be showcased, while Fallen Angels will return the trademark wit of Noel Coward to the Stratford stage.


"SaintsandSinners,"containingaeclec-. tic mix of musicals, dramas and Canadian-themed plays, alongwith the Festival's trademark Shakespearean productions. Artistic director Richard Monette explained all his selections as depicting "the tension betWeen the contrary impulses ofthe human soul," adding that the post 9/11 world is one which many see in a more "good and evil" fashion. Three Shakespeare performances are in the lineup: The Tempest, recently produced last November by ~!'s own drama department;l¥ieaslire for Mea~lIre, which fulfills :Monette's promise to produce each of Shakespeare's plays during his fourteen-year reign as artistic director; andAs YOII Like It, which "vill be set in the 1969 "Summer Of Love" and will feature music by the Barenaked Ladies. Broadway classic Hello Dol!J, with its lavish N ew York

The theme of this year's lineup is "Saints and Sinners", containing a eclectic mix of musicals, dramas and Cana.. dian-themed plays ... For those desiring plays v, a disrinctly Canadian emphasis, three productions are scheduled. The Donnef!Js,· Sticks and Stones is based upon the true story of the 1880murder of the Donnelly family north of London, Ontario, while TheAleasllre ~fLoI'e is a "chimera of tragedy and comedy" written by Canadian Nicholas Billon. The Wingfield series

is a wildly successful collection ofrural comedies in which one actor, Rod Beatrie, plays all the characters involved. The latest installment, Wingfield's Inferno, will once more offer up Beattie's talent to Festival audiences. productions of differing g~nres and themes are also on the playbill, which totals 14 works. " The Stratford Festival, founded in 1952, is the largest classical repertory theatre in North America. Located in nearby Stratford, a fortyminute drive or train ride from Waterloo, it features four venues and offers theatre, concerts and backstage tours for those interested in a behind-the-scenes look. This year's theatrical season runs from May 30 to November 6; previews are available at a reduced price starting as early as April 19. \~''hether you prefer a light comedy, a deep intellectual work, or anything in between, the Festival is sure to have something to satisfy your tastes. Seats will flll up quickly, however, so buy early to avoid sellout performances! For more details, visit www.stratfordfestival.caorcall their box office at 1-800-567-1600.



Moving to the beat ofa different drum the hole, and it just doesn't really ever fill up, and it won't ever fill up until that person fIgures outwhatit means to kind of erase it in a way, erase the hunger and the hole will heal itself." . "The Outsider" also deals with issues of addiction but from the point of view of "the. jock brother who says to justwalkit off." This basic viewpoint paved the direction that the video took, since most drug treatments focus on the progress of the ad~ct rather than on the problems caused by the people who do not understand what their loved ones are going through. Having decided to do something totally different, Keenan fIgured, "Screw ittits and guns. That makes more sense." And so it goes, APC collaborated with Steven Grasse and Mark Kohr on a Bikini Bandits video for "The Outsider." The video tells the story of a girl, wno, following her sexy release from pris~)Q, causes havoc to middle class America, "contesting the man from GA Perfect Circle Mart." The video is hilarious, ultra-sexy and aMOTION yet manages to speak honestly and directly Virgin Records about a sensitive and important issue. "Thinking of You" starts out in Bushlick A Perfect Circle has rocked the media world Female Maximum Security Prison: do these with the release of their firstDVD, aMOTION guys ever have a fetish for hot chicks conftned The DVD includes everything from their hiin prison - but then again, who doesn't? This lariously offensive videos to masterfully video is part of the Bandits Golden Rod trilogy remixed APC originals. Commentary from from the Lost in the Bermuda Triangle release. band members and just enough Bikini Ban~ This time the girls try to conquer evil G-mart dits footage to save Christmas are scattered and corporate America. . . thloilghoui. '. . "Counting Bodies Like Sheep To The Every detail of this two-disc set is perfect Rhythm of The War Drums," is the Bushright down to the casing. The fIrst disc features whacking video that follows ''Thinking of an unedited version of the "Judith" video, You." Despite the obvious correlation to ''Pet'' directed by David Fincher. This breakthrough from 13th Step, APe's second album, "Countvideo has an industrial feel combined with ing Bodies" has a more political agenda with audio that truly embodies the sound of earlier the usual Orwellian themes ofgrowing into an Mer de Noms stuff. Billy Howerdel comments information-controlled militant world. It is that, "the music [for ''Judith''] was written in part two of "Pet" rather than a remix. It's one night. This was a rare hilarious while still being a occasion of writing a song tad disturbing. that just fed on itself and Having decided to aMOTION features the started at six at night and three runner-ups as well as do something ended at six in the mornthe winner video for芦Blue" ing." totally different, as well as my personal faEver thought to yourvourite, the "Noose" live Keenan figured self, "What's the deal with video and a new must-seethe 10go?,,'Well, apparently "Screw it - tits and and-hear-cover for "Imag. " the inspiration came from me. guns. That makes "3 Libras," named for nine The second disc features individuals in lead singer remixed versions of all t,he more sense." Maynard Keenan's life. previously mentioned They share common songs, including a remix of birthdates, and act as a paradigm for people "The Hollow." With all that and even more, who do not see the two circles that the crescents what else could you ask for? in the logo make. In addition to the newly released CD and It's deep - a little too deep, even for me- DVD, APe's new title, "Passive" is featured but that's the answer. Absolutely anything on the soundtrack of the upcoming movie you ever wanted to know about APC, but were Constantine, which is based on a character from afraid to ask, is answered in the commentary by DC Comics/Vertigo's Hellblazer. ''Passive'' is Keenan and Howerdel throughout the vidthe collaboration of Maynard James Keenan, eos. Billy Howerdel, Trent Reznor and Danny ''Weak and Powerless" is the third video on Lohner. ''The song is very much about apathy. aMOTION. Yes, boys and girls, this is the I think a lot of the problems in this country unedited version of that video which made have to do with people willingly staying long white hair cool- or maybe it was Lord of asleep. They're allowing this administration the Rings, I don't remember. This track is路 to manipulate their decisions without actually thematically consistent with eMOTIVE, APC 's getting involved in those decisions," says third album, which deals largely with recoyery Keenan. The fllm and the track are due to be from addiction and the struggles inherent released on February 18. from multiple points of view. aMOTION is a'll excellent addition to the The "Weak and Powerless" video seducband's library. It contains a wealth of APC tively portrays a woman compelled beyond goodies for long-time fans and newcomers control by a black hole in the centre of her alike. I highly recommen&it. psyche. Keenan explains, "that craving and that desire, and she just keeps trying to fIllin Ela Malkovsky


PUS FINANCIAL AID January 2005 Visit our website at: infoawards for wi~ter 2005 loan pick up schedule, complete OSAP scedule with deadlines for winter term, scholarship and bursary information and work study positions for winter 2005.

UPCOMING Saturday, January 29, 2005 Volunteer fair at Fairview Park mall. Displays will be set up by the Volunteer Action Centre along with 30 other not-for-profit organizations offering interesting and rewarding volunteer opportunities for youth, families, groups and adults. Please join us at the mall or you can also discover volunteer options at www.k-wvolcentre.on_ca. Sunday, January 30, 2005 UW Day with the Siskins, Jr. B hockey, 1:30 p.m. Waterloo Memorial Recreation Centre, $2 per ticket (regular $8). Please contact for further informa;

cion. Friday, February 4, 2005 LSAT? If so, the LRO is hosting a mock LSAT to help UW students prepare, from 1:00 a.m. to 1:00 p.m. For more info/sign up sheet, drop in to SLC 3107 for more details, or you can contact Vickie at Saturday, February 5, 2005 Chinese Students &; Scholars Association presents The Annual Chinese Spring Festival Party. All are warmly welcome to attend at South Campus Hall, 7:00 to 9:00 p.m. For tickets of more info please contacr UW Ski Day @ Chicopee, four-hour lift ticket for $19. Tickets available by contacting prior to Monday, January 31. Saturday, February 12, 2005 K-W Skating Club presents "Showcase 2005" ice show at the Waterloo Memorial Recreation Complex at 7:00 p.m. For ticketslinfo call 886-5972 or e-mail Thursday, February 24, 2005 It's cold outside but it'll heat up when the Waterloo Fire Department takes to Fed Hall's stage in "Hot Night in the City" to benefit Easter Seals. For ticket info e-mail

VOLUNTEER Volunteer Action Centre of K-W & Area is looking for volunteers. I would like to volunteer in 2.00S! Check out the Volunteer Job Fair on Saturday, Janu-

ary 29th, at Fairview Park mall between 9:30 a.m. 6:00 p.m. More information on volunteer opportunities can also be obtained at or by calling 742-8610. Be a friend - visit a senior. 18 years and older required with 2-3 hours a week to spare. Volunteer session on Monday, January 31, drop in anytime between 6:30 - 8:30 p.m., 32 Weber Street W. (Zion United Church) Kitcherier. Call K-W Friendship Group for Seniors at 742-6502 or for more information. Do you like seniors and enjoy food services? The City of Kitchener is looking for meal program volunteers and snack bar volunteers at their senior centres. For more information, call741-2564 or email Help women and children. House of Friendship's Live and Learn Program needs volunteers to assist with transportation and child care for weekly group meetings on Tue, Wed, or Thurs afternoons. Scheduling can be f1exible:For more information, please call Linda at 570-0954 or email Iiveandlearn@houseof Feel the Harley Rumble!! A dozen of volunteers needed'to help with CNlB Harley Davidson raffle. You can support this popular event by helping set up displays and sell tickets. To volunteer for CNlB please call David at 742-3536 or email david. Why wait for spring? Volunteer now. VOLUNTEER DRIVERS needed to drive and escort seniors to medical appointments or grocery shopping. Mileage reimbursed. Call 744-7666 or email for more information.

ANNOUNCE Need food or short of cash? The Feds food bank is a confidential student-run food bank that provides non-perishable goods to UW students in need. Visit us in the Student Life Centre, room 2108 or you can e-mail Philosophy in Action. Join a discussion that looks at how p'hilosophy applies to lIVeryday life. Saturdays and Wednesdays at 7:00 p.m. in downtown' Kitchener - 742-4433 (leave message). Check out all the events happening in the Student Life Centre at http:// www.studentservices.uwaterloo.calslc!events.htm. Heidi Thiessen Memorial Awards for Student Writing ($1000 & $500) are available to 3rd and 4th year FIT students at Uw, WLU, &; U of G. Feb. 11, 2005 deadline. For details, see awardslstudent.php. International students: experience a unique Canadian sport. Try broomball! It's played on ice, similar to ice hockey, but no skating required. Women and men play together - everyone is welcome (Canadians too). Contact for more information.

ULLETIN CECS Friday, January 28, 2005 Career Services Workshops: Career Decision Making: After路 this session you will be in a better position to assess youself and your "fit" in the world of work. Register online at 2:30 - 4:00 p.m., TC 1208. Monday, January 31, 2005 Career Services Workshops: Making the Job Fair Work for You: Learn the "do's" and "don'ts" of this excellent networking and work search opportunity. Register online at 3:30 - 4:00 p.m., TC 1208. Tuesday, Feburary 1, 2005 Career Services Workshops: Letter Writing: Learn how to use letters to your advantage in the job search. Register online at 3:30 - 4:30 p.m., TC 1208. Resume Writing: Discover techniques for writing an effective resume. Register online at 4:30-5 :30p.m. TC2018.

Wednesday, Feburary 2, 2005 Job Fair 2005, lOa.m. - 3:30p.m., RIM Park, Waterloo. Thursday, Feburary 3, 2005 Career Services Worksh.ops: Interview Skills: SeIling your skills - Don't stop at the fundamentals; you must also prove your skills in the interview. Here is your opportunity to practise and improve. NOTE: please attend only if you can stay the full two hours. Register online at 4:30 - 6:30p.m., TC 2218. Monday, February 7, 2005 Thinking about Graduate Studies? Find out the steps to apply to graduate and profesional schools. Program research, applictions, references, interviews ad the admission process will be discussed, as well as scholarship options. Register online at 2:30-3:30 p.m., TC 2218. Mastering the Personal Statement: learn how to write a winning personal statement when applying to graduate and professional school programs. Register online at 3:30-4:30 p.m., TCll18.



"Ultimate Questions" The Lord Jesus Christ is the difference. Learn about Him. Bible study by correspondence. Please send name and address to: Bible study, Zion United Reformed Church 1238 Main St., Sheffield, ON LOR 1Z0 or e-mail See web site: click on Links, ask for book. Sign up today, it's free. Term Paper help from dedicated writing professionals with more than 30 years experience. E.S.L., research & writing, editing and proofreading, entrance -letters and thesis help. Toll Free 1-888-345-8928 or Mustan Computer Systems Inc - sales and service, free piclcup and delivery, service charge flat rate $35. For all your computer needs call 886-6004. We fix any computer problem - $55 flat - plus free diagnosis! Pop ups, viruses, spam, hardware - we fIx it all. Visit our store or call 747-5979. Waterloo Networks, 220 King Street, N., across from WLU, behind Phil's. Custom essay writing and research assistance - Essay Experts can write an essay or research papers on any topic, level and for any deadline. Call 1-877974-TEXT or visit ENGLISH EDITING. Let me correct the grammar, spelling and style of your manuscript, document, technical repgrt or thesjs. Satisfaction guaranteed. Emailzucker@mcmasteJ.caorphone(905)S25-9140 ext. 23438. '

New York Hostel - $20 per night - special long stay $105 per week, minimum 3 weeks - double room $60 and $65 - Call Gisele at 1 (212)666-0559 or fax 1(212)663-5000.

FOR SALE Many engineers and art books. Great bargains, private collecrion. Phone 884-0677 afrer 5:00 p.m.


Free Apartment Finder Services! Over 8,000 apartments in our database. We make appointments, you save time! High rise, low rise, town homes, furnish~ and unfurnished. All prices! Call now for this free ' service. 310-7000. 23A High Street off Hazel, modern self contained, main floor, four bedroom, living room, kitchen, complete modern bathroom, free laundry and parking, no pets. Group tenancy for four students, available May 1/05 to Aug. 30/06, $445 per student, including utilities. Contact June Smith 416-491-1370, cell: 416-705-5648. Four bedroom, excellent location, must see, goes fast, 34 Bridgeport Road, East - close to everything, washer/dryer, dishwasher, gas heat, cheap utilities, free parking, opem concept kitchen, dining room and living room open onto a private balcony, air conditioning, plus huge rooftop patio, perfecr for students. Call 741-7724, for more info and pictures. 23B High Street off Hazel - modern self contained three bedroom, living room, kitchen, complete bathWeekend counsellors and relief staff to work in homes for individuals with developmental challenges. ' room, free laundry and parking. Group tenancy for three students, no pets, 12-month lease required Minimum eight-month commitment. Paid positions. May 1/05 to Aug 30/06. $415 per student, utilities Send resume to.Don Mader, K-W Habilitation Servincluded. Contact June Smith at 416-491-1370, cell: ices, 108 Sydney Street, Kitchener, ON, N2G 3V2. 416-705-5648. Let's make this your best summer yet - Camp Wayne, Five bedroom house, must see, goes fast excellent northeast Pennsylvania, USA. Counselor-specialists location - 147B Weber Street North, close to everyall land/water sports inc. Tennis, golf, baseball, thing, very clean, free washer/dryer, gas heated, cheap soccer, outdoor adventure: camping, mountain bikutilities, two full bathrooms, two fridges, parking ing, climbing/ropes, roller hockey, rocketry, fine for fIve cars, on bus route, large backyard and patio. arts, theater, radio, video, CDL drivers, wait staff Call 741-7724. and more. RN's for our health center. Interviews in Five bedroom house, must see, goes fast excellent conjunction with 4-SchoolJob Fair,Wednesday, Feblocation - 12lB Noecker Street, close to everything, ruary 2. Let's get the ball rolling now! Online very clean, free washer/dryer, gas heated, cheap utiliapplication; e-mail: ties, two full bathrooms, two fridges, parking for or 1-888-549-2963 (516883-3067). five cars, on bus route, large backyard and, patio. Call 741-7724. Mechanic and sales people wanted. Ziggy's Cycle and Sport is looking for an experienced mechanic Student rental- five students to share a licensed five bedroom condo at 451 Albert Street. Rooms from and sales people. You can e-mail or call Margaret Pachnik at 893-2963 and/or $340 to $400 per month, per room; plus hydro. Lease from May 1, 2005 to April 30, 2006. Call Shawn at Like working with kids and teens? Plan to go to 路635-5332. teachers college? Need a summer job? City of WaterThree bedroom apartment for September and May 100 camp employment opportunities. May - August. $395 per room. Five bedroom apartment on 449 Ha~e1, $350 per room September 1,2005. Two one Rate of pay $8.25 - $10.25/hour. Camp applications available at Career Services or bedroom $900-$700, 122 Columbia 8 rooms. 7466327 or 501-1486. Independent contractors required for door to door Large room available for summer sublet. Located daily newspaper delivery. 4:00 a.m. to 6:30 a.m. 6 on Lester Street, seven-minute-walk to campus. Three bathrooms with three showers, wireless days a week. Earn $400.00 to $600.00 per month. internet, laundry included. $350+ or Best offer. Phone 894-2250 ext. 6020. Reliable vehicle reContacr Katie 7252514. quired.



TECHN â&#x20AC;˘ us! un h mt

Adam Gardiner IMPRINT

The unveiling of a ne\v vehicle is usually a ceremony of hype, extravagance, and general worship tm,vards the ne,v demigod its manufacturers have created. In the case of Airbus' unveiling of their new A3BO jet in Tolouse, France, even descriptions such as lhese fail to do the ceremony justice. Attended by the government leaders of England, France, Germany, and Spain - the four nations which sponsored the project -~ the ceremony featured dancing, acrobatics, fog effects and fountains of water that made the presentation appear almost 01course, the superlative nature of the was symbolic, and perhaps so, for the A3g0 replaces the wellknown Boeing 747 as the world's largest passenger plane. Officially dubbed a "super jumbo jet," it is 73 metres long, has an 80 metre wingspan and stands taller than a scvenstorey building. In a three-class layout, including amenities, it can seat at least 555 passengers; if converted to a single-class "economy" format, it could seat a maximum of 840. Such a configuration would greatly outnumber the 747's passenger capacity of 600. In addition to its specifications, however, it's those planned amenities that help to set the A380 in a class of its own. Airbus designed the pla"'lc ,<v'ith the possibility of including casinos, restaurants.,


f!J"lTIS" or

even shops on thcirA380s, making for an experience unlike anything currently available on commercial flights. The four-t."11gine aircraft will he powered by a choice of turbofans built by either RollsRoyce or Engine Alliance. A turbofan is basically a more modern, quieter version of a turbo jet and operates under the same principle: by drawing air in through the front, compressing and igniting it, and releasing it out the hack to create thrust. \'7ith a thrust

rating of 271,560 pounds per feet, the maxi¡ mum speed of the 617,300 pound airplane is estimated at 945 km/h, with a cruising speed of 902 km/h. And thanks to improved fuel efficiency --- a 20 per cent improvement over the 747 - it will be able to travel over 15,000 km without refuelling. The cockpit will remain similar in layout and control design to other Airbus models, meaning less time spent training pilots to fly the new crafts. But the similarities in design end there; the A380 has the world's first computerized cockpit, meaning that all controls, pilot: interfaces and readouts will be electronically governed. With eight servers providing triple redundancy, Airbus promises a far easier job for the pilots who will sit at the helm. For example, the flight manual is out; in its place is an electronic inform'ation system that will make any information pilots need to know accessible'lla computet. Over 140 orders have already been placed for the A380, which costs approximately $340 million. It's expected that airlines ,vill be highly attracted to the new model because of the passenger capacity; by placing more people on a flight, companies will be able to make fe\vet flights, or profit: moore from the same number of flights and thus cut their expenses. The same principle holds true for the A380F, t\le freighter version f the A380; with a cargo capacity of 150 1:onne5 and the same rllnge as the passenger plane, Airbus asserts that their freighters ",'"ill create faster, more bountiful deliveries. The lifespan of the A380 is another strong selling point: like the 747, the planes ate designed to last for decades, during which time they will undoubtedly seeimprovements upon their design. But don't expect to see an A380 sitting in an airport any time soon. For starters, none of the new planes has even left the ground yet. Airbus 'will not begin to conduct tests of





A simulation of the double decker A380 in flight is dwarfed by the skyline. the A380 until J\iarch, and will presumably have the plane certified as airworthy shortly thereafter. There is also the issue of airports: most will have to make substantial revisions to their infrastructure in order to receive the airplanes. Runway sizes of many airports will have to be increased to accommodate the planes, bi-levelloading docks may be introduced to facilitate the double--deck design and baggage processing will need to be adjusted to accommoda1i:e the increased number

of travellers per flight. Heathrow Airport in London, England has set aside just under $1 billion to make the changes it needs; other international facilities \>lilllikely be spending similar amounts. However, Airbus estinlates that if all goes on schedule, A380s will be in the as early as 2006. In the meantime, it's up to those who travel on, fly and love airplanes to prepare for the next big thing to hit the skies.

Harvard Prez's remarks spark debate Katherine St. James SPECJAl-TOIMPRiNT-'~'-'~'-------'-"- -~----.-".----


\'{'hen Harvard University's president 1>a'wrence Summers commented on women's lack of innate ability 1.n math and sciences, a debate erupted against his remarks -- as well as to question whether this matter can and should be res( lIved. Earlier in Janua ry, Sut1l1ners was vired to speitk at an economic conferenc(:' set out to discuss \vhywomen arc lflclerrei=,re:sen in these areas of stud" He warned that his tark rnav be and indeed it was Hopkins, a .Massachusetts Institute of Technology and Harvard graduate, leave the room. She felt that it \vas that aU these brilliant young "\von1en are



poorly, so more boys than girls will represent the highest percentile achievers in these tests. Third, past discrimination and other social biases have not favoured women in attaining higher levels i11 math and sciences, and so we see fewer of them at those levels. Bur many women activists argue that the 1"e;1$On thaI: there was discriutination in these areas was becmsc some men believed that worner! did not have the innate ability \:0 do m;l11\' d,at rnen did. studies in the p"sr have sh,)wn thap,vornen's math scores tend to belowenvhen . . vrtte . tests in the cornptlny of rOt~n'J or arc 8ho\\"11 rrwdia .hat put ,,'omen in l1"a& tional roles or demean their aCidemic and motivation. These studies inmc;m: that there

\vho vie\\-s

rec;ocmsit)ie f()f

them this '.vay." Smnmers based his statement~ on three pieces of evidence. First, fewer ,vomen (han men decide to dedicate the time needed to do research in these areas, generally in favour of raising children. Second, on tests done on school children, boys tend to have a greater variance and a bimodal distribution skewed towards both extremes than women -_. meaning that more boy~ tend to do very well or vetI'

genetic differences between men and women may have scientific merit. Science is meant to be the search fi)r truth, and discovering di ffercnces between men and \1.'om'::l1 may help women excel in these fields --- but is our society ready to hear that men and women are not equal in their intel1ectual abilities? See MATH, page 26


24 Math: more for the men?


An action against climate change

Continued from page 25

If studies like this are undertaken, and I am not sure simple math scores are enough to tell us if there are genetic differences between the sexes as there may be social constraints and biases already influencing the subjects, false fmdings that women are naturally less inclined in these areas could increase the problem of women being underrepresented in math and science. And in the end, even if women are less inclined towards math and science than men, it does not mean that there are not many capable women with the desire and abilities to pursue these fields.


lit ~l$lO'U-

ill ~#

SM_ Tut-t_iIIt Stl'~


• ~Sooly~ III ~iltH hM:(i~ ~ III ~"ft it~


• ~$q~W r~ll(! AII~e

III ThWl~liW Sm~ S~M

Oxford Seminars 1~80l),.26"~"t" 41'~'2+1240

The Waterloo Public Interest Research Group - WPIRG to most, or just "The Pirg" for those in the know -- has been a herald of social justice and environmentalism at lJW for more than 30 years. Their mission is to encourage students and others to research, educate and take action on environ·· mental and social justice issues. They help to motivate community participation, encourage local and global ecosystem integtity, and support diversity and social equality for all people. They also promote the use of consensus decision-making where all members are heard 'and the group works toward reaching a decision that is acceptable to everyone . One of the main focuses of \Xi'PIRG is their Action Groups, such as Amnesty International, Food Not Bombs and Students Against Sweatshops. These groups organize their own events and are supported by \,{'PIRG staff and volunteers, using the extensive reo sources of the organization.

WPIRG also provides a fairly extensive rewurce library that's available to students and communitymembers. lHaterials - books, magazines, ~Ilideos and other resources - about social justicei~sues,gl.obalization, corporate business, agriculture and other sustainability related topics are available in the \);1pIRG office.

"The state of any country's environment is a reflection of the kind of governance in place, and without good governance there can be no peace." -

Wangari Maathal 2004 Nobel Peace Prize Laureate To some, social justice and environmentalism might seem like rlVO separate issues but they're actually as closely re11ted as Luke and Leia. This fact was recognized by \V'anga1'i l\Iaathal in her acceptance speech fo1' the 2004 Nobel Peace Prize. "The state of any country's enviromnent is a reHection of the kind of govern-

ance in place, and without good governance there can be no peace." Fourth 'year Em)irrmmmt and ReSONne Studie.r s/tldetlt Cassandra Polyzou, a membertiftbe WPlRG board oj directors, met tlill itt the ES cO!lrtyard to discllss a tltflllber tiftopics dear to both o!lr hearts. Our first hot topic of discussion \vas the promotion of the Government of Canada's One Tonne Challenb'C. "Funding has been given to communities to bring together different stakeholders in communities - businesses, institutions (public and academic), and others - to come together and work to promote sustainable ways of living in order to reduce greenhouse gasses (GHGs). The idea of the Challenge is for everyone to reduce the amountofGHGs that they produce by one tonne," said Cassandra. "In terms of'l'PIRG and campus, an important thing about sustainability would be to try to bridge the gap between different sectors, whether they be economic sectors or different social groups and strata in society," Cassandra continued. "I think \X'PIRG does an excellent job of promoting sustainability on campus because it bridges the gap between different organizations and diffetent interests." Part of the promotion for the One Tonne Challenge was \X'T'IRG's

presentation of David Suzuki which took place on January 26. 'Ibis lecture is just one way that the organization is helping to bridge the gap between the community and students. I wondered, as 1 usually do, why Cassandra had gotten involved with WPIRG when she came to Waterloo. "On campus it's probably the most visible activist group and has the ability to appeal to the broadest range ofpeople," she commented. "So you get people from various faiths, you get people from various social classes, people interested in gender equality, in gay rights - such a wide range of pt.'Ople." She also dunks it's important for people to get involved extracurricularly. "Especially at a university ....- an acadewic institution where we're taught all these ideas about theories, trY1ngto change the world," she said. "I like Fredrick Douglass's (juotation 'agir.ate, agitate, agitate,' because we learn so much in university and we learn so much throughout: our lives. It's like you've got to stir things up. You have to take what you know, what you've leamed, and make use of it." For more information, visit \,(lPIRG's website at "-' or their office located in room 2139 in the Smdent Life Centre.

Students Election



wl!h WT'l'lrol1nol

ow,It'$~m ;iQtw\)th~ at~ U'$ h 1IIf'.@rt !;)!1ok>!; to Imlp ymI' ~nl.71l>

lm!~,mf"'9~\WI:\i!I~"',pIit\1 ~ m\lille a!1d Ill(!m.

CSA ~Ifud~m~"""~ m.,..",ISO_l ~-""",Hty l"lII-mrot.


!<ltdt*Mf, ON, i\l2G ?U


Playoff hopes tak~ hit with 0-2-fweek

Warrior men storm T-Bay, drop Lakehead twice Rod McLachlan IMPRINT STAFF


Warrior forward Lindsay Wood battles with Golden Gael Amy Saundercook in front of Queen's goaltender Claire Hunt. Ashley Wilson SPEClALTO IMPRINT

1bis pastweekendwas abusyone forthe Waterloo women's hockey team. Saturday night's game was had the Warriors hosting the Queen's Golden Gaels, a team that Waterloo has had no problem beating in the past This game proved that past victories do not equate to an easy game. Scoring opened in the second period as a power-play allowed Waterloo forwardStaceyGrygielto drive ~ a shot between the Queen's goalie's legs, for the game's first point. The score did notremain 1-0 forlong,however, as a slip-up in the Warrior end allowed a Queen's player to grab her own rebound for a quick goal. Water1oodemonstrated the speed oftheirdefense in the third period, respondingwith another goal as a save rebounded from Waterloo's net where SatahBrysongrabbedthepuck,~plittheQueen's

defense, and saileditinto the Gael's net Thegame looked to be in hand unril Queen'sgrabbed aloose puck and tied the gamewith only 36 seconds left.

Overtime solved nothing ~the Gael's pullingtheirgoaliein&vourofanextraattacker. The open net potentially allowed an easy goal for Waterloo to winit, although the teamdidnot manage to pot the winning marker. Waterloogoa1ieAlexis Hubermade46 savesto ensurethe2-2tieandgaveaninspitingperforrnance as the Warriors had little time to prepare for their next game the following afternoon. Sunday's game brought the Brock Badgers to Waterloo. It too started out promising as a fastpaced, aggressive firstperiod directed Waterloo to enterthesecondwitha2-Olead. The second goal of thegamewasapleasantswpriseas Warriorforwatd JulianneSchrnalz won the &ce-offinBrocx:'s end and passed toteammll:teKirstenUndstol, who put the puck past Badger goalie, Angie Mallory. The second period commenced with a powerplayfurtheBadgers,notswptisingconsideringthe Warriorswerepla:yingquiteaggressive1yonSundiiy, ~numerous penalties each period. Brock controlled this period, tying up the game quite easily, with two goals in'less than two minutes.


tnm n . do .wrotBe .

as centre KateAlJgood scored twkein the period, allowingtheBadgers tobringthe score to 4-2Alate goalby Waterloo helped the Warriors tocome back from their stagnant play, butitwas toolittle toolate as theteamfailed to capitalizeonsevernl chances to tie up the game. ID. the end, theBrockBadgers~eouton top bya4-3~demonstratinganaggressiveplay

does notalwaysequalgood play. The Warriorsfared well however, and greatteamworkled to the three goals obtained. Goalie Bethany Stuart made 33 saves in the losing cau{e. In their finalgameofabusyweek, the Warriors visitedcrosstownrivals theLaurierGoldenHawks. TheHawks are the second-rankedteamin the as. The Warriors battled hard against Laurier as they always do, but thegame finished with a 1-0 Laurier victory, with27 shots stopped bygoaltenderAlexis Huber stopped The tie and two losses move the Warriors' record to 4-9-3-1 on the season, good for fourth place in the five-team OUA West division.

For UW men's hockey head coach Karl Taylor, it doesn't matter who underestimates his \Varriors, whether it be the members of the media who pick the weekly CIS rankings or the opposition's fans. That's because while Lakehead players, coaches and Th~nder Bay media members were busy making excuses for their team's recent slide, bis Waterloo Warriors - undefeated in their last nine - went into a hostile arena and stole a valuable four points, sweeping the sixth ranked Thunderwolves aside, 42 last Friday and 4-1 the following night. "I couldn't care less [what people say]," said Taylor. He made the comment in referenc~ to recent articles that have appeared in Thunder Bay's and London's local media. These articles suggested that the reason that UW has swept one two-game series versus each of the two teams in the last three weeks is that both Western and Lakehead have been without a number of players who are off in Europe competing in the world university games in Austria. 1ihe~' 'j g liIRen¡terdlltiy.Htl2 1 Waterloo's recent upswing either. "It's nice to be recognized [in'the CIS rankings]," said Taylor whose club (10-6-1) is only ranked tenth in Canada this week despite having gone 8-0-1 in their last nine games. Taylor says the CIS top-ten committee, which is comprised of 12 members from the media, often allows "tradition" and "history" to influence their rankings. ''The last few years our program has struggled," said Taylor whose team now sits ahead of Lakehead in the OUA far west division standings. "[The as committee] can do what they wlfnt." ''Who knows what's right and what's wrong [when it comes to the rankings]. That kind of stuff used to piss me off. I'm past that. I used tb let those kinds of things bother me." However, teams in the OUA have been forced to stand up and take notice of the Waterloo Warriors.

See STREAK, page 27





'-''''''''''.''0. VOLLEYBALL Kathleen led the Waniors to a 3-1 win OYer lakehead in Thunder Bay on Saturday afternoon. In the win, Kathleen recorded 11 kiUs and 11 blocks for 22 points. last Wednesday, Kathleen recorded 8 kills and 6 blocks against Western in a tough 3-2 defeat. Kathleen currently sits in ~cond place in the ~UA with 212 points.



Survivin' the damn bye-week' Women fall to Hawks .


And so begins the longest two weeks in all of pro sports. After the New England Patriots and the Philadelphia Eagles both reached Super Bowl XXXIX by winning their respective conference championship games last weekend, big game fever has started to inflict the masses all over the sportingworlaButthediseaseisa 13-day affIictionwithnochanceofaquickhealing thanks to theworstinvention s!nceneon bicycle shorts: TheSuperBowlbyeweek. Now forthosewho like the actiQn of pro football, bye week is as exciting as a root canal. But because ''Two-1finute Warning" is always willingto provide a public service,I have come up with a failsafe method to beat the bye week blues. Luckily, we ,are all but through the first five days. That leaves eight more that averageJaooandJoe Touchdown must kill before the big game arrives on February6. So without further ado, here are the ''Two-1finute Warning" eight best ways to punt, pass and kick away the Super Bowl bye week. Saturday,January29: Contactyour local sleezeball bookie or hop a flight to Vegas and place your bets on the big game. The Super Bowl has become so big that you can bet on anything-who will score first, who will be the game's MVP and even how long it \vill take for halftime act Paul McCartney to expose his right breast (3-1 odds says the top comes off inside 45 seconds). Sunday, Januaiy 30: Get as many ofyour friends tGgCtheras possible and playa mock Super Bowl on this, the day the game should be played. But make sure you play with full tackle rules and no pads - it will take out all your byeweekr~ on random college buddies and co-workers in too~right sweatpants. Monday,January31: Findyourself


the seediest tattoo parlour around and show your allegiance to your favourite NFLteambyhavingtheirlogoinkedon your body. Unless, of course, you are a fan ofthe New Orleans Saints-getting a Saints tattoo is like advertising your adoration for Ace ofBase. Tuesday, February!: Theplanfor this dayis sirnple-drinkheavily. Nothing pisses away an like a visit from Jack Daniels, especially when he comes over to your house before noon. Besides, the intoxication will help you forget the pains of yesterday'~ no-pads game. Wednesday, February2: Stop by yournearestsuperelectrorucs store and buy the" biggest, flattest, HDTV-est television you can find. Don't worry about the cost; you're a f~tball fan and nopriceistoohighforagame-watching experience like this - especially since you're just going to return the tube on Monday. Thursday,February3:Catchupon the NHL season - oh, wait, never mind. Friday, February 4: Today is the day to hit up the grocery store for your

Super Bowl supplies. Since you just spent the kids' college fund on your TV, get 'only the necessities: namely anything that's salty, spicy, ora combination of both. But whatever you do, avoid the beer store-BYOB is your friend. Saturd~y,February5:Goouton

the town. Even the players partyin style on this night - just ask Atlanta Fal'cons safety Eugene Robinson, who was busted for solicitation ofprostifution on the eve of his team's loss in Super Bowl XXXIII. Plus, ifyou have enough liquid fun on Super eve, you will still be hung over enough to sleep through the eight-hour pre-game show the next day. Sotheteyouhaveit:eightwaystosay goodbye to the bye week. Hopefully, ~ootballfans everywhere can adhere to this plan and before you allknowit,the game will be upon us. And for thosewho still can'twait for theSuperBowl,lookatitthisway-the bye week is still more exciting than the

The Warriors women's basketball team was }lflable to make up any ground in its drive towards the playoffs this past week, falling at home to their in-town rivals, the Wilfrid Laurier Golden Hawks, by a score of 63-45. The Warriors struggled all game with the pressure defence ofthe Golden Hawks, committing 26 turnovers in the game, including 16 in the first half alone. WLU used their speed and deep bench to their advantage, forcing UW into an up tempo game while limiting their own turnovers to 17. ''They threw alotofnewlooksatus. They did a great job of mixing things up/' Warriors coach Manci'Watsa said. From the opening tip it was clear that UW was in fci'! a tough day, going 搂ixminut~s before recordlngtheir first . basket. Howevertheywereable to keep the game close, cutting the lead to 1713 thanks to the play of second-year guard Madeleine Noble, who came into the game'and hit her first four shots. She would finish as the Warriors' leading scorer with 16 points on seven of nine shooting. With just over four minutes remaining in the first half, the Golden Hawks went on an 11-0 run to build a 28-13 lead and that lead would grow to 37-19 by halftime, thanks in large part to their strong reboUnding, where they held a 21-14 advantage in the first half. The Warriors were unable to threaten the Laurier the second halfas the best they could do was to get \vithin 11 points with 13 minutes remaining. But from there the Golden Hawks outside shooting took over,

led by the teams leading scorer, MeaghanMcgrath, who paced herteam 'with 16 points in 28 minutes. For the remainder of the game the Golden Hawks used their superior speed and rebounding to hold off the Warriors, cruising to a'dominant~. Laurier's strong rebounding, led by forward KernJilesen with 10, was a key factor in the game allowing them to put up 63 points despite shooting just 32.3 per cent for the game. ''They just flat out outplayed us," coach said. On .Wednesday, January 26, the Warriors travelled to Western in hopes ofavenging their loss to Lauri,er.Again, however, the Warriors fell short, drop. ping the contest 60-47. Kimberley Lee played a prefectgame forthe Warriors shooting 5-for-5 from the field, including 2-for-2 from behind the arc, and 2-for-2 from the free throw line for 14 points. With the two losses, the Warriors remain two points back of Lakehead , for the final playoff spot. The Warriors schedule does not get any easier as they travel to Guelph on Saturday, January 29, to face the OUA-leading Gr;'Phons. A victory over the Gryphons would be a huge boost to the playoff hopes of the Warriors with just six games remaining in the regular season. Despite the disappointing result, coach Watsa is encouraged by the progress his team has shown this season, and remains optimistic that they can overcome Lakeheadin the race for the final playoff spot. ''We took a big step forward over Christmas, but there's still going to be some bumps along the way. Today was a bump."


Rent NOW for September 2005!1I Student Accommodation from $350 路per month.


------------------------------------------or call Perry at 746-1411


Warrior guard Kimberley Lee pops up for a three-point shot in the Warriors contest against Laurier on Saturday, January 22.



lleyballers nab first win


lady Warriors close out season with three losses in the pool The \'\'arriors women's swimming team failed to ref,>1stera victory in the final weekend of their dual/ tri meet season. The Warriors fell 17763 to the eighth ranked team in the CIS, the \'i/estem l\fustangs, on Friday,January 21, then proceeded to drop matches againstLaurier, 120.5101.5, and Niagara University, 177-65, the follo'\ving day. The ladies were led in the pool by Caroline who had second-place finishes against Wes tem in the 800-metre freestyle and the 200metre fly. Carolyn Smith also grabbed a second against ~? ester~, as did Laura Chalmers, who despite a shoulder injury, grabbed the second spot in the lOO-metre freestyle. Men's swim team finishes with a splash The \Varriors men's swim team closed out their regular OU A schedule with a meet against the nation's nmnber three team, the Western Mustangs, on Friday, January 21 and then a trimt:ct,\,路ith \YilfridLaurier University and Niagara University the follo'h'ing day. The Warriors proved themselves worthy of competing with any swim team in the QUA by keeping it close with the visiting Mustangs throughout the meet, ultimately losing by a meagre margin of122-116. The meet came dO"ll to the final relay event, the 4 x 100 sprint, a known area of strength for the Mustangs. Alex \':<7atson put in a strong effort for the Warriors as he won both the 200-metre freestyle

and the 200-metre fly. Matt Ivfains once again proved himself a consistent competitor with \vins in the 200-metre individual medley, the 50metre backstroke and the 200-metre breaststroke. The following day, despite a winter storm which threatened to cancel the meet, the \\'al:riors avenged their loss to \'C estern '\'.'1th wins over LaurierandNiagara.lhe \VaniorsdefeatedLaurier 185-41 and Niagara 141-102. Alex \X'atsol1 con tinued his dominance, posting first -place finishes in the 200-metre fly, 500metre freestyle and on the 4 x 100 medley relay. Matt Mains again contributed two ,rictories, winning the 50-metre breaststroke and repeating his perfom"lance from the \'Vestern meet in 200-metre individual medley. In a rare occurrence, Mains fell short in the 200-metre backstroke, an event he typically dominates, as teammate Art Hare out-touched him for the victory. The next competition for both the men's and women's swim teams is the QUA swimmingchampionships, hosted by Brock Universityon Februarr 11, 12,and 13.

Battle of Waterloo sees men's volleyball team win their first set in nine games In theirgame ag.mlSt the \Vtlfridlo<"1urierGolden Hawks on \J;lednesday,January 26, the \\'arriors men's volleybaU team won their first set since their November 7,20041085 to Royal J\;1ilit:ary College. In that game the \X'arriors fell 3-2. In the game against Laurier, the story was different for the Warriors. Not only did the \y'arriors win a set, but they won three and defeated the Laurier Golden Ha\vks 3-1. The \\'arriors, at 1-14 on the season, remain in the basement of the OUA v;'ith the \',1n, but only because the Laurier Golden Hawks, '\vith a \Varnon;. UJV' athletics

Streak: Darling continues to shine Continued from page 25 "\Vhen you win 11 games in a row, teams aren't caught off guard [anymore]," said Taylor refening to t J\,\i' s overall streak that includes two exhibition wins during the Christmas holidays at the \'\iestern invitational tournament. In last Friday's game, which was held at Lakehead's Fort \X'illiam Gardens in front of 2,R92 fans, Waterloo got off to a quick start when right-winger Dave Philpott opened the scoring at 2:48 of the first period. Rookie Scan Roche put U\X' up 2-0 in the second before Lakehead rallied '\\1th two goals, 1:12 apart, mid路 way through the period. However, the \'.;!arriors werc not to be denied the win as first-year centre Matt Levicki tallied the eventual game-winning goal, his seyenth of the season, on the power play at 14:22 ofthe second. Rookie goaiie Curtis Darling once again shut the door on the opposition in the third and Jordan Brenner added an empty net goal as the \varriors cruised to the 4-2 victory. Saturday night's game\vas much of the same except this time things were a bit more physical as d1e second game of a double header often reveals the bad blood generated beKveen the two teams in the 6rst game. The two teams traded goals in the first before Lakehead's players lost their composure in third period with Lakehead's Sean Stefanski and Hugo LeHoux both being ejected from the game for brutal head checks, \vhich

caused two Warriors to receive stitches even though they were wearing OUA-mandated helmets with full facc masks. As a result, \X'aterloo poured it on with three more goals. The goal scorers for the \X'arriors were Mike Della Mora with two and Alex MacDonell and Levicki each recording singles. \Vatcrloo's goaltender, Darling, continues to shine for his club and has started each game during his team's current unbeaten streak. The product of Calgary, Alberta, who is a definite contender for CIS rookie of the year, currently holds the second best goals against average in the nation at 1.92. As well, he has two shutouts. His save percentage isn't too shabby either, coming in tied for third best in the ClS at .930. "Curtis has been real solid for us," said Taylor, who added that he has yet to see another 1"00kie in Canada '\dlO has excelled this season as much as Darling has. There's no doubt as to whether the young phenom's coach thinks he should be given a long look for the a\vard or not. "There's no question [whether] he should be considered for CIS rookie of the year." Looking al1ead, the \X' an"iors '\\'ill nmv playa home-and-home series against their di,1s10n livals, the fourth-place \l\'indsor Lancers _7 -1). Game one is t(:might,] anuary 28, in \Vindsor at 7:30 p.m. The two teams will then head back to \X'aterloo's CIF atenaon Sunday fora 2 p.m. matinee clash.


University of Alberta challenges UW gymnasiums. The fitness classes offered. '\\111 in路 cludecardiocrunch,cardiojam,TNTand11(Oa~

Dan Micak

well as warm-up and cool-down exercises. "It's agreatchance to try a new class type and tc get to know a different rfitnessJ instmctor," noted ]\.fichelle Robinson, Campus Rec co-ordinator fOl special events andrecreation leagues. There is no need to pre-register fo! the1 limes, Explosion.


Campus Ree touches down with flag football Winter Bowl In the winter of 2004, Campus Rec resurrected their popular \vinter flag football toumament, the \\Tinter Bowl, and over 80 people participated. The Winter Bowl is returning again this year and will be held on Saturday, February 5 at the playing fields outside of Columbia Ice Fields. Participants may register to play at both coed and competitive levels. Registration for CalUpus Rec's Flag Football \\'inter Bowl is ongoing in the PAC Athletics office, but closes 'nlU!sday, Febmary3. UW challenged to beat Alberta's record On March 16,2004, the University ofAlberta set a Canadian record with 187 students attending a fitness class at once. The University of Waterloo has been challenged to break this record by the University ofAlberta's Hugh Hoyles, who issued the challenge to all members of the Canadian Intramural Recreation Association. \Y;'aterloo's attempt to breal( the record will occur as they host Fitness Explosion on Wednesday, Febmary 16 at 5:30 in the Columbia Ice Fields'

Course offered in Hatha Yoga instruction On Saturday, February 12 and Sunday, February 13, Campus Reeis offering a YogaInstructot Certification Course for Hatha Yoga. The course, whichindudes both a written and. praeticalcomponents, offers an opportunity for ]nternational Society ofYoga Educa tion certification. Students need to regisl-et in the PAC Athletics Office by February 4. Enter the Cross Canada Fit Challenge In hopes of motivating students to stay active, CampusRe:c is offerillgthe opportunity to participate in d1C Cross Canada Fit Challenge. The Cross Canada Fit Challenge, in which patticipants take a virtual trip across Canada by their cataloging their fitness activities online, began in fall of1998, and since then, close to 800 people have participated. This term's challenge began on January 17, though it's still not too late to register, and ends on April 1. Registration is available on Campus Recreation's Fit Fun page.


l"ithfile.r.ftVtJl CtlllIj>UJ Rei"



Warriors' new streak starts to take shape


Dave Munkley, Mike Sovran and Gerard Magennis celebrate after the Warriors' victory over the Laurier Golden Hawks on Fantastic Alumni and Staff Day at UW.

Warriors men's basketball captures Fantastic Alumni and Staff Day Battle of Waterloo f Dan Micak IMPRINT STAFF Despite near blizzard conditions in Waterloo onSatunlay,January 22, the first Battle of Waterloo of the 20042005 OUA basketball season went on as plannedas theLautierGoldenHawks visited the PAC to face the nation's sixth-ranked team-the Waterloo Warriors. And as the snow fell in droves outside, so too did both the Warriors and Hawks drop basketafter basketin what may be considered one of the first good battles between the two teams in years. In the end, a sizeable crowd watched the Warriors come out on top with a 68-64 victory over their crosstown rival. GrahamJarman lead the Warriors with 22 points, followed by Dave Munkley who posted 19 points and

five steals.


Graham Jarman out-dribbles a Laurier defender to drive the lane in the Warriors' victory over Laurier on January 22.

The first halfof the game was back and forth as the lead changed seven times before the teams entered the half tied at 36. Neither team was able to create much of a lead, although the Golden Hawks did tum a five-point deficit into a five-pointlead with a 10orun in the second quarter. Five minutes into the second half,

Waterloo posted a 10-0 run of their own to pull ahead for good. And while Laurierwas able to come within three points before the final buzzer, the Warriors veteran Mike Sovran hit a clutch shot from behind the arc to put his team up by six again. The Warriors posted an uncharacteristic performance from three-point tenitory,shootingonly 3 for 12, except for Sovran who was 2-2 on threepoint attempts. Laurier also topped Waterloo in boards bya37-30 margin. The Warriors' game againstLautier was billed together with the Warriors women's basketball game against Laurier earlier in the day as Fantastic Alumni and Staff Day. Admission to the event was free for University of Waterloo alumni, staff and faculty if they pre-registered to attend. Theeventalso featured the Fantastic Alumni and Staff Day Airplane Toss, where fansinattendancewereinvited to build paper airplanes, the most accurate ofwhich were given prizes. On Wednesday, January 26, the Warriors travelled to London to face the Western Mustangs, who sit in last placeintheOUA West division. Not taking the Mustangs lighdy, the Warriors dropped them 67 -54,improving

their record to 13-2 on the season and maintaining their lead over Brock for first place in the OUA West. The Warriors shot 43.8 per cent from the field in the game. Chris Edwards posted a doubledouble forthe Warriors with 10points and 12 rebounds. Leading the Warriors in scoring, however, was Dave Munkley with 18 points. Munkley added nine boards as well. The Warriors dominated the Mustangs on the glass, out-boardingthem by a margin of 42-25. ForwardAlan Paron lead Western with 13 points. Prior to the game against Western, the CIS rankings showed the Warriors to be sixth in the nation, the same position they occupied during the previous week. The CIS narionalrankings are determined by a coaches' poll The Warriors men's basketball team travels to Guelph on Saturday, January 29, for a game against the Gryphons at 3 p.m. The Warriors then have five days off before they host the Lakehead Thunderwolves on Friday, February 4. Game time is set for 8 p.rn.


are both no exception. "We're trying to engage the audi~ ence by doing things that aren't usu- traps and The Secret Lives of Sexy to take it...