FEATURES
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Imprint, Friday, February
New voices shareviews C taff at Imprint have been reviewing regular d columns that appear in the newspaper and are pleased to respond to readers’ suggestions by adding three more columns, providing even more student voices to our insightful columnist team In our Features section, Marianne Miller, UW’s Ombudsperson, will be sharing tips and suggestions ranging from dealing with land-
lords to buying a first car in “Ask The Ombudsperson.” We are also happy to welcome Donna Cooper’s insightful wine and dines in “Over Lunch,” also in Features. Our Forum section will re-feature columnist Mark Besz in “The Best Dispenser,” providing a humourous twist on life. We hope that you enjoy reading these fresh voices in your newspaper.
18, 2000
Homiesunite Real-life Get a Life can be fiustrathg J.P. special
LEWIS to imprint
C
liff Claven, Principal Skinner and Chris Elliott’s character from the now defunct sitcom Get a Life usually come to mind when we think of adults living with their parents. We think it’s funny. We laugh. We joke. But we forget that it’s real. Hundreds of students here at Waterloo still live at home with the people who brought them into this world (or, considering this new progressive era of parenting, maybe not). Because of the enormity of this widespread “stay at hame” syndrome, I sat down with one of these brave “no rent” students to uncover the seedy underworld of those who still call their parents’ house home. I was greeted at Jimmy Stephens’ door with two excited grins, a slap on the back and an invitation to try some of Mrs. Stephens’ home-made meatloaf cheesecake. “Oh! Are you one of Jimmy’s friends from the University?” “No, I am here from Imprint.” “Imprint! Marge, get a load of these kids today with their Offspring and Imprints!” Jimmy rescued me. We took refuge in his unfinished basement with more posters than the first day of Imaginus (obviously trying to fill the gap of never having lived in student residence). Jimmy Stephens: Sorry, man. My parents are pretty keen on me meeting new people. Ever since I came home from fresh week with a five-day hangover and no memory of anyone, the introduction of new friends from Waterloo has happened about as much as Tony and Angela made out on “Who’s The Boss” Imprint: (I believe Tony and Angela got it on once or twice,) Yeah, I noticed. That must be an incredible drag. JS: Man, you don’t know the concept of drag. You probably have keg partiesevery night and have beer posters on your wall and have condoms in your fork drawer and get to watch The Simpsons five times a day! I: Hey, relax man. Student housing isn’t all drinking and sex. JS: Sure it is. I’ve seen movies 1ikeAnimalHozcse and Ski School!
I: Anyway, I have a few questions I would like to ask you. JS: OK, but I have to set the dinner table in half an hour. I: Fine. Tell me, why do you have a hard time making friends living off campus with your parents in the place you grew up? JS: See, this is a complex issue that really bums me out. Youcome to lecture and you see people who you would Iike to hang out with, but then SMACK! (Jimmy jumps out of his chair like a rabbit celebrating the lowering of tariffs on carrots.) This is when you hit the ‘“play a” curse. I: You totally lost me on that out-of-context hip hop reference. JS: OK. You can’t just walk up to girls and start talking to them, because they will think you are a mat-daddy-playa. What are you supposed to say after “So, did you read that article?” or, “This professor is dope.” I: I don’t think I would use the word “dope.” JS: Whatever, it is just that I just want girlfriends. Not girl friends! And ubrc)thersn aren’t any easier. I: Can you stop talking like KRS-One? JS: Sorry. But it is really hard to meet guys. Do you ask them out for coffee or a game of squash? It is very awkward. I: Why don’t you just join a club? JS: Well, I would but see, Mondays, I drive my mom to work then drive myself to work and then go to class ‘til five. Tuesdays, I have the morning off and then class ‘til seven. Wednesday, I have five hours of class starting at eightthirty, with five one-hour breaks in between classes. Thursday, I have class in the morning, work in the afternoon and I have NBC ComedyThursdayswithFrien& and%zsierat night. Finally, Friday, I work a ten-hour shift. I: You are a busy guy. JS: Yeah, and maybe I could fit in a club somewhere in there, but those student union offices are about as welcoming as a bowl of hot tomato soup being poured on your crotch when you wake up in the morning. I: OK, let’s settle down there a bit. You seem to have a pretty big chip on your shoulder. Just leave me with one suggestion for what we can do about this problem. JS: Parking lot socials.
Desire2Learmcomgrows continued
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department to get involved with the CECS Online project. Earlrer this year, the American software company that UW had hired to produce their new web-based co-op system pulled out of the project. The department is currently considering how the project will continue. Aside from an office and some computers, the most valuable resources that a newly formed company needs is good people. Last night, DesireZLearncom held its first ever recruiting session on campus. “We’re looking for quality people,” says Sabarwhal, “with a desire to prove themselves and make a difference.” “I think Waterloo very much harnesses the entrepreneurid spirit,” said Raker. “Rather than teach you the grunt work and specific noted Sabarwahal, “[the implementation,” Waterloo curriculum] asks you to step back and ask how things are done? Maclean’s magazine has called Waterloo students %novators” and “Leaders of Tomorrow.“Sabarwhaland Baker point to UW’s ability to bring both of those things together as one of the things that makes us stand out.
bW President David Johnston has himself been involved in online education as chairman of the Federal Information Highway Advisory Council. “This is not just another form of distance learning,” said Johnston in the September 6 issue of Maclean’s, “It’s as profound a change as the invention of the printing press 500 years ago.“Maintaining a connection to the University is an important part of the Desire2Leam.com business plan. Sabarwhal referred to WU as “the hub of the best people in North America.” Sabarwhal and Baker seem prepared and determined to make a splash in the online education market. “People have been ready for a very long time to do education online. It’s just a matter that there’s currently not an interface and methodology to put these courses online. By building these structures, we can put courses online to enhance the education experience.” As they take their first few sreps our into the entrepreneurial world, they are poised to ensure that Canada and the world will soon live up to their company slogan: “Learn Locally, Educate Globally.”