Page 1

Iwo top students will be & represent Canadaamong the worldi best and brightest science and technology undcrgroduotcr in the first competition of the new lucent 6Iobal kie~~e kholorr Program. lucent Global ScienceScholarswill receive a ~US5,OOOaward. Next My, along with the group of 80 Icholarr &ted worldwide, they will visit the world-renowned Bell Labs in New Jersey and Iokr in a weekend of sightming in New York City. And they will be offered

If you’re looking to continueyour educationwith an advanced degreein healthcare,considerNew York ChiropracticCollege. It’s a solid choice and a wise investment in our future. NYCC: Boastsa curriculum with anexcellentbalanceamongtheArt, Science,and Philosphy of Chiropractic. Employs talentedanddiversefaculty. Featuresmodem, state-of-the-artfacilities. Is a fully residential campuslocatedon 286 acres. . Is conveniently locatedin the scenicFinger Lakes region of Central New York.

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The final election storv by Weran




he 1999 Federation of Students election officially ended last Wednesday, February 10, but the business of the election was still going on for days afterwards. On Friday, February 12, the Election Committee met to decide on one final election misconduct complaint. A complaint was brought against the Christine Cheng, Veronica Chau, Chris Harold and Jason Risely ticket - the ticket that won the election -for sending out a mass e-mail on Wednesday, one of the polling days. Feds election rules strictly prohibit campaigningofanysortonvotingdays. The e-mail, sent by Cheng to one of the ticket’s campaign volunteers, was forwarded to that volunteer’s engineering class. The Election Committee read the mail and decided that the contents did not constitute campaigning, but only encouraged general participation in voting without naming or

supporting particular candidates. That the candidates’ first names did appear on the bottom of theemail was not considered enough to constitute campaigning, in the opinion of the Committee. If the Election Committee had ruled in favour of the complainant, the result could potentially have been the disqualification of the candidates, nullifying their victory. The complaint was the second of its kind registered against the Cheng ticket. Before this second mailing, an e-mail had been sent out to thecheng ticket’scampaign volunteers, which specifically encouraged them “togive these four candidates [the Cheng ticket] your consideration.” One of the recipients objected to the content and complained. The Election Committee decided against the Cheng ticket, and the candidates were fined 7,s per cent of their election expenditure limit. According to Awey Peters, Feds Executive Researcher and Chief Returning Officer (CRO)for this election, there were “fewer

theletteroftheprocedurewhich makes it a tougher call for the elections committee in most cases, because we have to try to quantify the spirit of it to determine whether or not a violation has occurred,” commented Peters. “What it’s done is point out just how much work needs to be done on the procedure to make it veT clear what’s allowed and what’s not.” Among the penalties rhat were handed down: VP Studcn t Issues candidate Ryan Knight was fined $40 for campaigning an the Bombshelter, While at the Bomber on February 6, Knight and three friends pulled up their shirts to reveal “Vote Ryan” signs painted on their stomachs. Knight also wore a sticker which read “Your next VPST,” which he removed after a warning from Robin Stewart, current VP Education. According to election rules, “NO campaign material shall be distribured or posted inside Federation busi. I

Campaign postersup after the deadline. Shame,shame.Apparently the poster remover couldn’t reach theseones. photo

by Nieis Jensen

complaints this year than last, by far. But fewer penalties this year as well.” “This year, people seemed to take much more care not to violate

continued to rrage 4

The budget, baby by Melanie




hile the federal budget may have satisfied many people with its tax cuts and focus on health care, the budget left many students discouraged over its lack of commitment to post-secondary education. As IJW Feds President, Christian Provenzano stated, “It was disappointing but not surprising.” While the Millennium Scholarship Fund is set to begin in 2000 and run to 2010, according to Andrew Boggs, Executive Director of the Ontario Undergraduate Student Alliance (OUS4) “We can’t depend on a lo-year student aid program to help Canada’s students into the future. Too many students need help now.” Robin Stewart, VP Education,

agrees. “l3ealth care isn’t the only thing in crisis in this province. We have food banks on our campuses and recent graduates who are struggling under $25,000 debt loads.” In Stewart’s opinion, “Modest tax breaks for students would have gone a long way to easing those problems.” Compared to last year, this year’s budget was particularly disappointing for students. Last year featured the announcementsofthe Millennium Scholarship Fund, as well as increasing the maximum loan repayment period to 15 years and extending interest relief on student loans to five years after graduation. TheCanadianAllianceofStudent Associations (USA), ofwhich UW is a member, was particularly disappointed after all of the lobbying in which they engaged in the

past year, Their response to the federal budget included concern over skyrocketing tuition levels and crumbling institutional infrastructure. CASA acknowledges the renewal of the Department of Human Resources and Development Canada (HRDC) Youth Employmen t Strategy in December, even though it was not an explicit part of the budget. However, there isalso the fear that “the failure to increase transfer payments towards education opens the door for a two tieredsystem of post-secondary education.” This is not to deny the necessity of the government’s investments care. Indeed, the federal budget may also benefit graduate students involved in science, technology, or human re-

News: Dopp-ler Effect . . . . . . . . . Features: The writing on the wall Science & Technology: Some like it wet .......................... Sports: Nordic Team collects shiny m .edals ......................... Arts: Jazz is all grown up . . . . . . . . . l







source development research. As Christian Provenzano noted the $1.8 billion committed to these programs will filter down through grad students to benefit universities as a whole. However, Provenzano also feels that even the last budget dealt with thesymptomsofstudentdebt, and not the problems. As opposed to dealing with minimizing the cost oftuition in the first place, the government implements changes that only deal with student debt after the problem is already created. Provenzano noted that if Paul Martin really wanted to “‘equip Canadians with the tools for success in the 21 st century,’ the best way to do this would be through a properly funded education system. An improperly funded system will just stunt this success.”


10 13 15 18






19, 1999

( We promise, this is it continued


page 3

nesses or the Student Life Centre.” The Election Committee decided that Knight’s actions had violated this rule. Other complaints which did not lead to penalties included: a complaint against Chris Farley for

inappropriate remarks at the Village 1 forum, held February 4. According to thecomplaint,Farley stated that he agreed with allegations of financial mismanagement and misleading accounting practices which had been levelled at the Feds during the referendum campaign. Similar allegations had

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resulted in the disciplining, and eventual disqualification, of one ofthereferendumNocommittees. The CRO, who was present at the forum in question, felt chat Farley had adequately substantiated his position and decided that no disciplinary action was necessary. Farley and running mate Mike R/loore were the subject ofanother complaint: campaigning outside. A campaign volunteer dressed in a snowman suit had put temporary flags in the ground. The Committee ruled that this did not constitute posting a sign on an exterior wall -which is prohibited -and that the rules did not preclude campaigning outside. In addition to the various complaints, another problem was discovered this year with the voting process itself. The potential currently exists for certain individuals to vqte twice. A student who registered at a church college was required to vote at the polling station at: their college. The voting lists which were used at the polling stations were based on lists received from the registrar’s office at the start of the term.

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However, because they paid their fees late, or for various other reasons, some students did not appear on the list. Therefore, the faculty polling stations were authorized to add names to the list, provided thestudentcould present a Watcard with a current sticker which indicated that they were in that faculty. The Watcard only lists the general faculty in which a student is enrolled, and not the fact that the student is registered at: a church college. So an arts student registered through St. Jerome’s University could potentially have voted there, then gone to the Arts polling station, presented their Watcard and had themselves written onto the Arts polling list, allowing them to vote twice. Avvey Peters noted that the situation has existed for some years now, probably since the Watcard was introduced. However, the problem has not been noticed until now. On voting day she referred to the problem as “a big mess,” After meetingwith FedsPresidentChristian Provenzano, Peters decided that, after the voting closed, the voters lists from the various poll-

ing stations would be compared. The number of names that appeared twice, if any at all, would be counted. Ifthe numberofdoubled names had been significant enough to affect any of the races i.e. if the number of double votes would have been higher than the margin ofvictory for a candidatethen the results of both polling stations where the double names occurred would have been thrown out. In the end, however, Peters reported that there had been no occurances of double voting. Peters stated that she plans to investigate the possibility of setting up an electronic voting system using the Watcard toavoid this problem in future elections. WERE

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Dopp-ler Effect “Youth exploring globalisation” to come to UW by Paul Schreiber lmprintstaf


arah Dopp wants to change the world. Dopp is part of Toronto-based Operation 2000, a group working to support youth activism around the issues of economic globalization and corporate ruie. Operation 2000 includes on its list of goals: encouraging collaboration benveen various organizations and communiries, providing training and skill-building to enhance young people’s abilities to address issues suchas globalization, the establishment of groups organizingaround these issues, and sustaining the engagement of young people in the broader social awareness movement. Sarah is currently takingapear off from her studies in community work at George Brown College to pursue social activism full time. The Kitchener native has been involved in groups like this one since she was 17, when she volunteered at the Gimbal Community Centre. Operation 2000, working in conjunction with WPIRG and the Global



is hold-

ing a teach-in here at Waterloo on March 26 and 27. The teach-in, called ‘Youth Exploring Globalization: What in the world is going on?” is the fourth of its kind. The Council of Canadians, the Polaris Institute and the International

Forum on Globalization (IFG) are also involved. IFG was responsible for the previous reach-ins, held in Berkeley, California, New York City and Toronto. The teach-in is being heavily promoted by Operation 2000 at high schools, universities and community groups all over southern Ontario. Participants are expected

photo by Paul Schreiber to make their way to Waterloo from a variety of cities, including St. Catharines, Guelph, London and Windsor- The embhasis here is on youtk activism, and they’re looking for people aged 15 to 30 to get involved, although anyone is welcome. Dopp has been taking advantage of the Internet to help her in her truly global crusade, corre-

sponding with groups in Amsterdam, Europe, South America and across Canada. Sarah told Imprint that she felt rhat corporate presence in the education system was asignificant problem. She believes it givescompanies free access to a huge market and “compromises what public education is all about.” The ac tivist is concerned about the ethics and business practices of thecompanies whose logos we wearonour clothing every day. Dopp noted that most people wil1 throw on a Nikeshirtwithoutworryingabout the working conditions in which it was made. Operation 2000 seeks to bring together people who are concerned about these issues. The teach-in isn’t targeting any particular industries or companies, and Operation 200 is not engaged in campaigns against a particular corporation. Rather, Dopp says, they are “educationand organizationbased.” They support work that young people are doing, and try to assist other organizations. Sarah Dopp feels that formal education isn’t as important to an activist as experience. “One of the best forms ofeducation,” she noted “is being engaged.” The skills needed for lobbying and organizingpress conferences aren’t found in a classroom. Stiah also noted that a significant problem is that post-secondary education is “becoming inaccessible.”



Friday, February 19, 1999


Chomsky live Honourary degree: conspiracy?

Imprintst~ S

by David


addam Hussein is “our kind of guy,” said George Bush only two months before war first broke out in the Persian Gulf. According to Noam Chomsky, head of linguistics at MIT and an outspoken critic of U.S. foreign policy, Saddam lost favour with the U.S. government when he broke one of the two cardinal rules that foreign leaders should never break when dealing with the U.S. The first is never lose control of the population. The second, which Hussein broke, was never stop following orders. Chomsky was in Guelph last Wednesday and Thursday in order to receive an honourary doctorate from the University of Guelph. Many people have speculated that the reason Guelph choseChomsky to receive the degree was a response to the selection of George Bush to receive an honourary doctorate at the University of Toronto last year. Critics suggested that Bush’s activities as head of the CIA and his apparent corporate connection to U of T financial backer Paul Melnuk, C.E.O. of Barrick Gold tainted the process and intentions behind awardingan honourary degree. On Wednesday night, Chomsky spoke to a sold-out crowd at a church in downtown Guelph. The demand to hear the dissident speak was so great that overflow tickets were sold to the basement where a video feed provided the crowd with live play-by-play action. Spectators agreed that Noam was *‘preaching to the converted.” A quick glance at the audience revealed a wide selection of leftist activists, from socialists wearing red star berets to animal rights ac-

tivists sporting Animal Liberation Front pins. Chomsky took advantage of this leftist crowd, targeting his speech to the audience. He made frequent references to the Multilateral Agreement on Investment and other hot political topics, pausingonly to explain: “if you haven’t heard about this, you should have.” Despite the inaccessability of his speech for any newcomers in the audience, Noam provided a wide view of events in East Timor, Indonesia, Columbia and Southeast Asia, tying them all in to U.S. military action in the late 1950s. He also discussed current events in the Middle East, suggesting that the U.S.-backed embargo against Iraq was responsible for “conservatively” the deathsof 2,000 children a month, He pointed out that Madeline Albright, U.S. Secretary of State, whenconfronted with this statistic, didn’t deny it, but said “It’s unfortunate, but it’s a price we’re willing to pay.” Chomsky also pointed out the flaw in the official U.S. and British line about why they were attacking Iraq. According to them, Hussein is such a “monster” because he “gassed his own population.” However, Noam suggested that the skeptic need only the official US. response to the gassing of the Kurdish population in Northern Iraq when it happened to see the real opinion of the US. government. According to Chomsky,whentheSaddamgassed the Kurds, he destroyed a large portion of fertile farm land. At that time the U.S. was more than willing to send food aid to make up the difference. He joked that to overlook such an obvious fact so systematically “could never happen in a tyranny, it could only happen in a free press.” The collected masses at the talk left satisfied that they had seen one of the most outspoken critics of U.S. foreign policy in North America. However, they also left disheartened about Canada’s position in North America. Chomsky reminded Canadians that “although Canada is a wealthy country, they are not powerful enough to lead on their own.. .” suggesting



needed the cooperation of “Big Brother” in order to make any real change in the current political

name like Noal thiicunninglinguist. photo by Dave Eby


TheFedstook~ntheknow-it-alltumkeysinaQuizBowl-stylematch.TheFedsknewmore(orstackedtheirteam). Thevictorious Feds’team (I-r):Keanin Loomis,Shelley Flynn,DaveDrewe,Mike Downing. Dhoto bv lake


trivia hounds

Questions in the tournament cover everything from sports to UW history; from Canadian music to American actors. Witness Relocation Project (a.k.a. the Physics Club) has won the last two tournaments. Are you good enough to dethrone them? The winners will take home bragging rights on the campus in

by Paul Schreiber /mpn’ntsL&


n March 6, be ready. WatBowl III: Trivia Strikes Back, is taking over the Student Life Centre.The third intramural trivia tournament isopen to all students in the Water100 area.


addition to a host ofglorious prizes, and all participants will be wellfed with yummy pizza. Ifyou’repartofacampusclub or team, or have a bunch friends you hang with, sign ‘em up. Registration costs $20, and the deadline is Thursday, March 4. If you’d like to sign up, e-mail ~zJrou~~g~a4/



$-q 40



















Friday, February 19, 1999

With sand in thei r shorts by Ryan Kennedy specM to /mprint

tralia, produced the tastiest, most aromatic mocktail. They also performed a convincing marketing effort by writing a snappy little jingle that encourage people to try their “cock-rail.” “It was the best drink,” said Chris Harold-one of the celebrity judges who helped out with


he S-Ex-Change students came out on top at l-lealth Services’ Single and Sandy Beach Party Celebrity Drink Off.These internationalexchange students, from England and Aus-

ExchangeStudents,LisaLawton,RichardSykes,ChristinaSmith,Qlris Warkand Emily Bridge.Team name: S-Ex-ChangeStudents. photo

, . . , . . . . . . ~ . . . . . . . . ~ . , . . . . . , . . , . . . . . . . . . . I ~ . . . , . . . . ~ ~ . ~ ~ ~ . ~ , .


of Single and Sandy

this special etent. Christian Provenzano, Bud Walker and Catharine Scott agreed with little dissention. Hundredsofstudents took part in Single and Sandy, which helped raise awareness about some of the dangers associated with reading week. “Students get hurt,get pregnant, get in trouble during this time - Single and Sandy tried to remind people to be careful,” said Shaun Carson, anorganizerand cohost of this evening. Free sun block and condoms were given out as well as stacks of prizes from local businesses. Hula hoop and limbocontests, trivia, performances by WPIRG’s Action Theatre, even the UW Breakdancers helped make this night memorable. “We hope everyone had a safe readingweekremembertorinse the sand out of your shorts!” said Carson, who adds “Health Services did an awesome job coordinating this event . . . I give them snaps! ”

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t the time of a serious crisis when every second counts, having a first aid kit readily accessible can mean the difference between providing helpful first aid and not being prepared. From going hiking for a weekend to everyday family needs, this is a simple breakdown of the recommended components which should be found in a complete first aid kit.

There are different sizes of kits which are available, ranging to meet the needsofvarious levelsof first aid emergencies. Family Kit: well organized and easy to use. It has what is needed to provide aid for small, medium and large wounds, as well as burns. Personal or Compact Kit: is light and small enough to fi t into a backpackor be worn on a belt. It contains the materials needed to deal with small to medium wounds.

Fanny Pack: has the materials needed to prevent minor injuries from becoming major problems. Designed to be kept out of the way until you need it. Firstaidkitscanbekeptinany place where accidents can Qccur: the car, home, work place, gym or on your back! Remember tocheck first aid kits periodically, to make sure used i terns are replenished. If there are any questions regarding creating or buying your a first aid kit, don’t hesitate to ask UWCRT.

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ast week I was ranting about election gimmickingpulling little stunts and generally playing to tl he crowd in order-to win votes. Well, in Y ou’d think there was an election Plrogress right now for all the gimmicking hat took place this week. I am referring, of course, to the fedral budget, presented onTuesday, Febuary 16, by Liberal Finance Minister ‘au1 Martin. Almost the whole of the 999 Federal Budget was one huge gimnick from Mr. Martin, who I think should LOW have another title added to his portblio: Rhetoric Minister. Mr. Martin must have had as many S#peechcrafters at work on that speech as k re had accountants at work on the budget i tself. It was truly a work of art. How can F ve not shed a tear when we hear thar i mmortal Liberal icon Wilfrid Laurie] bc :ing invoked. While we may not have ov vned as much of the 20th Century a! L: durier promised, Mr. Martin assures u! th at the 21s~ will most definitely beloq Canada. Asone observer here in thelrnprin fice remarked, this sounded less like : bl ldget speech and more like a rehearsa T hrone Speech from a man who has hi: Just what did chr e1[es on Chretien’schair. F inance Minister think he was doing ar lnouncingin the budget speech thatthc YCoung Offenders’ Act will be overhauled Beyond the flashy words, theconten 01 ‘the budget was pretty much a gimmicl a: ; well. It was a populist budget, caterin; tc 1the current whims ofthe fickle elector al :e. The current fad among the votin, majority is tax cuts, health spending anI alanced budgets. Well, that’s exact1 That they got. Billions of dollars wer eaped upon health care, the personal ta xemption was once again raised and th uee per cent surtax for people earnin ver $50,000 and Martin promised a ba riced budget (“or better”) into the ner millennium. Ok, health care needed more money Y= Xd it need practically all the mane) i? ‘es, my dear students, once again our agie ;roup has taken it up the proverbial re: 2r nd. Last year we had a bone called th re &llenniumScholarship Fund thrown 1t0 E, and apparently we’re to be satisfie :d V vith that, because we’re not getting an’ Yt hingelse. Or perhaps the Liberals thin lk t hat giving some millions to research is in S ome way fundinggeneral education. i It I east the technology sector didn’t take L111 t hc research dollars, as usually happen tlS - the Social Sciences and Humanitil CS I iesearch Council scored a cool $1 S mil1ion. Of course, the critics of the Canad iar 1Miance of Student Associations(CASA TNil1 be quick to accuse the organization o neffectiveness, for failing to get an: education money out of this budget (tr :hem I say: Well what didyozraccomplisl in this budget?) hilike Harris and the Ontario Torie S have been quick to claim credit for the2 Liberal’s new health and taxes focus. They Y say that the Liberals are following thei r lead. The only people the Liberals ane. following are the aging suburban baby ‘boomers, who are worried about gettin, g their future hip replacements paid for an d couldn’t give a damn whether or not w e young whipper-snappers can afford a n education or find adecent job. They hav e the voting power, my friends, so they ge:t the gimmicks.

I It

Go back

n response

to Bobcaygeon

to Scott Preston’s

article “The I’m I dig hockey, the Leafs and can tolerate the occasional Blue. When it comes to music, however, I fall well shrt of the line that defines modern And so, from the social patriotism. nether-world outside mass publicopinion, I willingly throw my support behind the attitudes expressed by Scott Preston in his article “The Hip can go straight to hell.” ‘The Tragically Hip is a musical folly, if you will. This is a band (a term I use loosely) whose phantomizing powers have subliminally deceived Canadians far and wide into putting faith in their talentless fashion and often empty messages. One needs only to listen to any assortment of Canadian radio stations to realize that the Hip are floodingthe airwayswith the gibberish of scampering poets and flickering fireworks. In their defense, there are two points to which stations may claim are the cause of this Hip onslaught. The first: CanCon. To this point I raise a mighty fist and say “screw it.” This is definitely not a valid excuse. There are countless other Canadian bands capable of filling air time, most of them with talents that exceed those of the Hip. In addition, radio stations may assert that this is the music “the people” want to hear, and by that notion are performing their service effectively. From this I derive one “the people” are dumb. conclusion: The stronghold that this group has on

Canadian mainstream listeners is sickening. My message is concise; variance is a good thing. I urge fellow Canadians alike to refine their listening tastes and join in the coalition against theHip!

I Hip CanGo Straight to Hell:“Okay, just as Canadian as the next Joe Canuck;






they’re the last of unplucked gems!

ust when I thought I read the worst piece misfortune rr of musical criticism, I had the of reading Scott Preston’s article last week entitled “The Hip can go straight to hell.” His article’s argument could be summed up by saying that “the Hip are untalented because I don’t like them,” I do not consider myself a part of the Hip’s “substantial following,” but I do consider the group as having musical talent. If you think your argument is the least bit original you are sadly mistaken. I’ve heard that argument before and it doesn’t holdmuch water. Hip bashers like yourselfthink that they have this greater appreciation for new rock music than the average new rock listener, like myself. I hate to break this to you, but regardless of what you have to say I am still going to listen to the Hip’s music. Furthermore, I can guarantee you don’t set the trends in the music world. If the Hip were as untalented as you say they wouldn’t be going on tours after each al bum’s release because no one would be buying their music repeatedly!


Since when does a band ‘make it’ when have broken into the American market? Your argument has proven that you are bought by the Americans. So what if the Hip have never reached a high level of fame in the U.S. market, does that really mean that they are overrated and untalented? I’m sure there are bands out there that you listen to that are not at the top of the charts nor ever will be at the top of the charts. Should I automatically assume they are untalented? The answer is hell no! I would never be so pompous, as you most definitely are, when it comes to music.


- Daniel VU?2 Geqgraphy


8 The



n reply to Monisa Nandi’s letI ter, February 12: First of all, “girl going out with a guy,” I resent being labeled a racist when in no way did I bring ethnicity into my In fact, it is you who argument. does so by naming yourself as a member of a minority. Secondly, both hip hop and dance are very similar . . . wait, don’t say it! Now, both of those musical styles while havingdifferent lyrics and origins have virtually the same rhythm and beat. Not to mention that a lot of the top songs are merely covers of earlier rock ‘n’ roll or pop songs from the %Os, ’70s and ’80s. Also while I do not like to generalize I bet that there are very few individuals that listen to both dance and heavy metal or some other combination. Therefore lumping dance and hip hop together is a very logical thing to do since lots of people who listen to one will probably listen to the other. Finally, the reality of the situation is that Fed Hall events were indeed closed down because of certain individuals expressing themselves inappropriately. I, of course, make no comment upon the violence glorified in music.

To the Bomber basket

in a


ast week I was shown how idiotic the Ground Zero/ Bomber system is. After years upon yearsof Bomber burgers shrinking in size as profits decreased it has finally vanished all together. Sure you can get one in Ground

Zero (GZ) but not in the Bomber. “Why is this?” I asked, “after all, you share a kitchen.” “It just is,” was the reply. Now before you say two separate restaurants makes sense, here’s what’s bugging me. I ordered a tuna melt in GZ while my friends were in line at the Bomber. I was the only person ordering take out from GZ and waited for my food. Shortly before I reappeared at the Bomber, a GZ employee emerged in the Bomber and scooped up the old fries from the heat pan and returned to the kitchen. I was then handed the takeout order and walked back to the Bomber to be told of the events. If the fries come from the Bomber why can’t I get a tuna melt from them too? Is it so hard to have the cooks cook for the Bomber as well? All I’m doing is going to GZ and walking back into the Bomber after instead of a server doing it. Well here’s a solution for you silly Feds. Want to make life simple for everyone, especially those neat people called patrons? You know, the ones you’ve slowly been losingdue to stupid decisions like the removal of burgers from the Bomber after years of the traditional Bomber burger. Well, I asked in GZ about your system. It involves twocomputers thar: are used by waitpersons to punch in orders with comments such as “take out” and what toppings a person wants. Once the order is done it prints out in the kitchen for cooks to prepare. Well, let’s try this: put a computer in the Bomber that’s hooked up to the same printer in the kitchen except it automatically adds the comment “Bomber” signifying, you guessed it, it goes to the Bomber in a basket. How hard is that, people? If

you want I’ll do ir for you too, for free, just so long as I can get my burger in the Bomber.

Something in his Shirley Temple . . .

et me start by encouraging the author of the witty titled article “Watch me fall asleep,” to “shut up.” You’d think that someone who “. . +know[sJ most of [the Watchmen’s] work” would be able to distinguish a song or two from their set on Fed Hail on January 27. From the poorly written article it would seem that Mark Besz was not even really paying attention to any of the music and opted to describe consciousness. However, it could have been that hisastoundingfamiliaritywith the Watchmen’s work made the live performance monotonous (as was the article). Personally, I was not aware that second encores were common practice for “low-energy” crowds. Maybe that’s why I’m not a concert connoisseur. If I was, however, I might have stuck around to talk to the band to get their view. Sammy Kohn (the drummer} was quite happy to interact with a few of us fans and explain that he enjoyed himself. But I could see how after a hard night ofcritiquing, slumber would seem more appealing. I found the powerful vocals and well-played mix of hard and sober songs quite appealing. Daniel’and the crew did a great job of entertaining those of us sober enough to be on our feet. The highlights of the night were when Daniel sang an a cappella number and when the band played a pre-



off the st‘ow, the water.”


view of their new song. I think Mark should have phrased it “I was content to listen from my seat where 1wouldn’t spill my Shirley Temple.” But then again, why would you write a review when you got up and enjoyed yourself? That would be biased. Right Mark?


The Tools of the Trade



agical or enchanted objects have always been a part of the image people have of witches. Brooms and cauldrons are the most obvious ones, and both of these are still used today. But there areothers, and 1 hope this column will acquaint you with some of the ones you might not have heard of. Athame: Many portrayalsa of witches involve a knife or dagger. This is a real tool, called the Athame. Make no mistake however, this knife is never used for a sacrifice. In fact, it is often dull. The Athame is used to cast the magic circle I mentioned in my article on Wiccan rirual, and to direct magical energy of various kinds. It is also a masculine symbol (for obvious reasons) used to help invite some male deities. Boline: This tool is also a knife, but this one is sharp. The


like maybe cheap crack ? .



his letter is in response to the review of the Watchmenconcert written by a member of your Imprint staff. If you want someone to write a concert review, get someone good, and get someone who was there to see both opening bands. Olive Wide was pretty good, and I really enjoyed TMT. I was quite impressed by both bands. The review of the Watchmen concert (Fed Hall, February 27 1999... a date which will be forever imprinted in my mind) was not what I expected at all. The review seemed to state that the Watchmen played poorly. If I am thinking of the same concert, then I am sure that that staff member was smoking something bad. The concert was phenomenal. I loved every second of it.. . even if I did end up with severe bruises and a kick in the side of the head from one hyper crowd-surfer. The Watchmen played amazingly, and featured songs from all four albums, plus twonever-heardbefore songs off an album currently in production. The solo by Dannywas breath-

Boline is used to perform such chores as harvesting herbs, carving runes or sigils on ritual materials, shaving candles, etc. Again, this tool is never used to hurt or kill anything (unless you count harvesting plants). Wand: Are you surprised to discover witches really do have magic wands? Come on, not even a little? The Wand has a similar purpose to the Alhame, used to cast some circles and direct energy. The difference is the Athame is more forceful, while the wand is a softer, gentler energy direction method. Pentacle: Regular readers will remember the Pencacle is the five pointed stars of B-movie fame. When drawn, etched, painted, etc. un a ylare

ir forms

the ccnterpiecc

of Wiccan altars. It serves as an offering plate, and as a visual representation of the five elements and humanity. Chalice:The feminine companion to the Achame, this symbol

Friday, taking, trance.


19, 1999

and 1 was in a hypnotic

I’ve spoken to many people who, although they are not huge fans of the band, were very impressed with that song. Everyone around me was .totally into the music, almost as much as I was. I was pleasantly surprised by not one, but two encores, one of which catered to the crowd’s chants of “Run and Hide, Run and Hide!” That was a good song to hear, considering that Ken (the bassist) was not with the band for the first album;where that song is featured. I find it hard to believe that the concert reviewer fell asleep during thisconcert. Even if he did not like the music, it was far too loud for anyone to even be able to think to themselves, much less catch a nap. All in all, the concert gets two big thumbs up from a big Watchmen fan. So, there’s your real review.

Next time the Watchmen come here to play, I’d be more than happy to write for you. Thanks for your time and letring me express my view of the stellar performance.

is also steeped in legend and tradition (e.g. the Holy Grail). Often used to hold wine or other drinks consumed in ritual, the Chalice is also used in the invitation of Goddesses. Broom & Cauldron: You didn’t think I’d forget these did you? The broom, also known as the Besome, is used to prepare the space where a circle will be cast. It can also be laid across a doorway, windowsill, under a bed, etc. as a protective symbol. The old construction formula for a Witch’s Broom is an ash staff, birch twigs and willow binding. The Cauldron is the most powerful of the feminine symbols. It is often the centerpiece of a ritual, being filled with water and flowers for a spring

Tit=, caf a cisndle


a winter rite. Incense, paper runes or other materials are also burned in the cauldron. A few modern witches do still cook or make potions in a cauldron, but most of US use stoves for that now.







19, 1499


e establishment of free trade zones is held up by the International Monetary Fund (IMF) and local governmcnts. It is intended to be a model of development that solves national economicproblems and unemployment for the Dominican Republic and other Third World countries. In order to facilitate the establishment of free trade zones, the Dominican government enacted a law - Ley 299 - in 1968, which conceded great benefits and facilitated the process of installing operations to foreign investors. In 1985, in line with its neoliberal agenda and the establishment of the ICC (Iniciativa pra la Cuenca del Caribe-Carib bean Basin Initiative), the Dominican government decided co give a new boost to the establishment of free trade zones. By mid-l 993, 30 industrial parks had been established with more than 423 ventures, which generated about 150,000 jobs directly, and more than 200,000 indirectly. The volume of exports in 1992 was $1 billion. By 1998, of every five dollars produced, four left the country. Production is geared towards textiles, electronics, shoes, tobacco and jewellery. The origins of this investment are principally the US, Korea, China, Panama and the Dominican Republic. These investors enjoy a number of privileges: exoneration from payment ofall kinds oftaxes on the merchandise theyexportand the raw materials and machines they import. Free trade zones are a great deal for foreign investors. If they alleviate unemployment, it is done at great social expense. Social Security and the Labour Code protect workers against dismissals and suspensions,


bjection: The Crusades and the Inquisition clearly show that Christianity is the world’s worst evil as well as false! Reply: Jvot. To be sure, the Crusades and the Inquisition are patent evils. Hideously, thousands upon thousands of lives were lost in the Crusades, and some 30,000 lives were lost in the Inquisition. Nevertheless, historical perspective is needed. Consider the fact that the fruit of some atheistic world views account form& lions of lost lives. For example, the Marxist-Leninist philosophy of Joseph Stalin justified an estimated 40 million deaths, and Mao Tse Tung’s Marxist views justified an estimated 72 millions deaths. Surely Christianity’s evils pale in comparison. Also, Christianity’s track record is far from wholly negative. Near the end of his seven-volume A History uf the Expwsion of ChnktiuniQ, Yale historian





cludes: “[Christianity] has been the most potent force which mankind has known for the dispelling of illiteracy, the creation of schooIs, for the emergence of new types of education. . The universities.. . were at the outset largely Christian creations.. . Music, architecture, painting, poetry, and philosol


but in practice, bosses do what they like. Workers in the free trade zones, more than 70 per cent women, receive poverty ‘wages and labour in inhuman conditions without any legal protection. The average salary is$l75/month for 10-l 2 hourworking days, including holidays. Workers have been assaulted physically and sexually, including forced abortions as a result of beatings, as happened in the free trade zone of San Pedro de Macoris. Workers have no access to cafeterias, transportation or child care, which makes the workingconditions even more difficult, Faced with these violations, numerous organizations for the defence of labour and human rights began to demand sanctions against entities like the ICC and the North American Generalized System of Preferences and Trade, the main destination for the exports from the free trade zones being North America. The Committee of Women Workers (LA ZONERA) considers it necessary to developprograms ofeducation and action to elevate levels of class consciousness and to organize industriai workers in the free trade zones, which will allow them a better defence of their human rights, as well as the integration of this work with community development. The organized participation ofworkers not only inside the factory but also in the community, as well as the creation of alternative programs of development for the country are needed to develop an involved, democratic tradition in the country. Come out and meet the co-founder of LAZONERA, Violeta Perez, on Thursday, February 25 at 530 p.m. in the Multi-purpose Room of the SLC.

phy have owed some of their greatest achievements to Christianity. Democracy as it was known in the nineteenth and twentieth centuries was in large part the outgrowth ofchristian teaching. The abolition of Negro slavery was largely due to Christianity. So, too, were the measures to protect the Indians against exploitation of the whites. The elevation of the status of women owed an incalculable debt to Christianity. No other single force has been so widely potent for the relief of suffering brought by famine and for the creation of hospitals and orphanages.” Furthermore, a logical point should be noted: namely, whether the central doctrines of a worldview are true or not does not dependonthebehaviouroftheadherentsof those doctrines. For example, if the claim that the Godman Jesus lived, died, and resurrected is true -as1 believeitisthen it is not made false by my acting like a jerk. Thus, in Can Godbe ~YYS&&VZ&~ and t%Chd~etq-e of Evil’, Regent College professor John Stackhouse correctly observes: “The serious inquirer does well to look past the depressing failures [e.g., the Crusades and the Inquisition] and consider the [Christian] faith in its guiding documents and in those whoexemplify the faith&, and judge it from there.”


ne of the times that I feel most Canadian is right after contracting a cold that nearly kills me. There are several enjoyable facets of Canadian life that people from other cultures never have the pleasure of experiencing. Like shovellingyourcarout ofa snowbankat 5:00a.m,, in the dark. Or falling on the ice and smashingyour hip so a surgeon has to replace parts of your endo-skeleton with polyurethane. There is nothing more pleasing than suffering through a cold in the midst of a Canadian winter. Tourists who really want the Canadian experience should be injected with sickness, then be told to stand at a bus stop for an hour without a hat. I consider the mandatory two weeks per year of infecteddom a rite of passage into Canada-hood. Things went downhill fast. On Friday afternoon, I was a little tired. By Friday night, I was certain I had acquired the E bola virus. I think Canada is like the Olympics for viruses. All of the flu viruses have their trainingcamp somewhere down in the States, and they work out, bench press amoebas for a few weeks. The strongest, most vicious viruses get to come up here and make people wish they were dead. I’m not impressed by the ailments people get in warm countries, especially in the places with beaches. I don’t care what you say, it’s not as bad. Tape-worm, shmapeworm! What’s the worst that can happen? You get sick so you have to sit somewhere



warm and tropical to recover. Ow! That’s got to suck! Here, you get a cold, and what are you going to do? Go for an ice-skate? Maybe a little ice fishing? No. Sit in your house, turn up the heat and try not to freeze to death. When it comes to cold medications, I don’t mess around. I go straight for the hard stuff: what I call “cold medication for Canadians.” At first, the pharmacist tried to pawn off some cherry-flavoured Kool-Aid on me, but realised immediately that he was dealing with a pro. “I want decongestant, expectorant, antihistamine, anti-inflammatory, sedative, the works... And I’m not interested in that non-drowsyshiteither, my man. I don’t want to be walking outta here. I want you to put me on a stretcher. . .” The Shoppers sugar daddy disappeared behind thecounter, and when hecame back, he had what I wanted. Onepartindustrialdegreaser - this is the stuff the oil companies use to clean the insides of oil tankers. Two parts cough medicine. Bee pollen. Ginseng root. One part horse tranquillizer, and one part cocaine. So I bang back one of these little brown bottles every two days or so and (surprise surprise) I feel better in no time. Right now, all I have to deal with are the side effects: loss of long-term memory, some fluid leakage from my eyes, and very minor hallucinations. Not a big deal, Oh, there goes daddy climbing the sky again upside down on the rider mower. I have to go catch him.







g1il ,:0


lb 1


she@‘@ by\



I9 - March 6

Wed. - Sat. at 8pm

571.0928 The Water







The writing on the wall A look at the graffiti in and around campus 1

And the men’s astounding logical abilities shined with the line, “love is blind, God is love, Ray Charles is blind, Ray Charles is God.” Next, I ventured on over to the Environmental Studies building. Iassumed those ever so politically active ES students would definitely have something to say. The womendidn’t -notasingle word. But the men did. Eager to express their deep inner feelings, they took to the bathroom walls with a vengeance. They conveyed their relentless sensitivity through a few jokes. Two choice ones stood out: “Qwhy girls so What do you get when you crossa civil engineerwith afine arts ma.ior? .s. are architecture * I . hots’ A ‘cause archltecphotos by Janice jim ture guys give them makeby Rachel Houlihan up tips.” Or even more witty, “Q -whydogirlswearmake-upandperfume?A-’cause they’re ugly and they stink.” niversity of Waterloo students are sufficiently poBy far, however, the hotbed of UW graffiti lies in the litically incorrect for 1999, if not alarmingly so. Dana Porter library. Regardless of how fast the custodians work to scrub away the countless obscenities, students are far This conclusion comes after an investigation into the defaced bathroom stalls and library deskson campus. quicker with their pens and clever minds. Ftoor ten is where What does campus graffiti say about where UW minds students seem to reach their peak of boredom and begin to wander when they are not immersed in legitimate studying? vandalize. Although, floor five-government publications (go figure) -gets You can judge for yourself. But first, some necessarydefinian honourable mention, tions to help guide you through this walking tour of mild In the library, UW students tend to resort to homophobic profanity. drivel and basic vulgarity concerning the female anatomy. Childish banter between who’scooler-engineersorartsies The term graffiti comes from the Greekword graphein - to write. The singular word, graffiti, was originally in- is also an extremely frequent topic. This aside, I have tended to refer to marks found on ancient Roman architecmanaged to compile a weak top ten (aswell asa censored top ture. Today, it refers to any inscription, name, slogan or ten, I might add). drawing found on a public or private surface without the permission of the owner. The word vandalism comes from thevandals, the name of rhe fifth century warriors who destroyed property and terrorized the Roman Empire, In modern times, we tend to thinkof as the willful or malicious destruction of _vandalism _. private or public property. In short, graffiti and vandalism are old news and can be found on Roman sites as old as 54 AD. But as enthralling as ancient history and definitions are, they pale in comparison to the modern day wall scrawls found here at UW. Get on with the crude and nasty graffiti you say? Happily, but first, a word of caution: some of you may find this article offensive. And a word of advice: read on. The investigation began at the Bombshelter. However, borh the men and women’s washrooms proved to be rather unfruitful. Bomber staffseem to be keepingon top of their censorship duties. Except you should know there is an anonymous “cum junkie” on campus. Ashamed of this vice, she professed it by scratching it into a stall in the women’s bachroom at the Bomber. So then, I moved to the next logical location - the washrooms in the Student Life Centre(SLC). I must say, we women are tame with what little graffiti we do write. The




line was,


are okay,





pregnant with womyn.” And it was womyn, not women. The men’s washroom, on the other hand, was full of insightful and thought - provoking graffiti. A sample is in order, of course. How about, “my dick is hard, my balls are smoking, thank God for porn and creamy hand lotion.” Or .De tter ye& L&I** - - --l______ t _-____ --IlIe 1nas two parts to 1c: sex wlrn‘-I- people you Kfluw, sex with people you don’t know.”



IO. Has anyone masturbated while studying here? 9. Play Metallica and they will come. 8. Your pretty little drawings won’t help you get the real thing. 7. Am I the only girl who sits here? 6. Notice: please do not write here. Janitor 5. WLU students and Americans must die, 4. Hey guys, without Arts, how would you engineer and math geeks get laid? 3. Help stop obesity. Due to this horrid disease, 95% of UW girls are undateable. 2. From man to man, how many of you have hairy asses? 1. Pimpin’ ain’t easy. So you’re not offended? Not even mildly? That’s because the really creative stuff isn’t fit to print. And as far as the elaborate drawings go, especially the nude pictures drawn by what must be the saddest of people, artistic skills are not a UW strong point. As this investigationcame toaclose, one littlesentence scratched in tiny writing on Dana Porter’s 10th floor stood out in my mind. Undoubtably written by a women, it read, “the intelligent commentary astounds me.” I could not have said it better myself.






Tf you’re not a socialist in your 1 twenties, people should question your heart. If you still are in your thirties, they should question your head.” Mister Churchill, one of the two great quotables of our time, was a wise man. He might have cried his eyes out in our midst because, really, who needs ideals or -isms of any kind when the Bomber serves cheap beer in homey chairs and the idiotbox offers twenty-four hours of programming. Seems Winston

19, 1999

before civilization and social conditioning, when nose-picking was an art, and friendships were built in blanket fort, over Cheesies and leaf faces. In need ofinsigh t, I come upon the most innocent, fragile, natural. A child sitting upright in mom’s arms, then dad’s, turning a previously serious, self-invoived turtlenecked gentleman into a blubbering worshiper of this riny fuzz-headed savant.


Watching these tiny embodiments of potential, I wonder how it is I am scared of everything, and this kid can fall over backwards forty times without discouragement. Gravity is just an accidental shift in perspective, You’ll never hear a three-year-old say once bitten, twice shy. Psychologists call it learning, but what creeps up is unnecessary, prohibitive fear. Save for the nosepicking, we could learn a thing or two from the tikes. In our ‘brief returns to childhood-that one last, moment of con-

We look to chicken soup

elsewhere for reason or ardor. Self-help books, depressingly popular, offer nothing. Poorly writ (split infinitives all over the place -everything’s bustin’up!), totalIy patronizingand offering littie more than contrived common sense in a motivational guise we look to chicken soup for inspiration. In thisfin~~~~~~~~stupor, we seek hope in noodles, The Knorrian messiah cometh . . . Sickening, too, the recently arisencryforinstantspirituality,b la Madonna and Alanis - “This woman is reachingNirvana, in five days only . , . and losing twenty pounds.. . and earning Air Miles.” In need of insight, then, I regress to a time before pretenses,

by john

Director special


Workman, of ProgrammIng tu hqixh t

ithin the months of February and March, our two oncampus bars are going to see some major entertainment action. 1n case you didn’t already know, all students haveachoiceon Thursday nighrs as to where to unwind. Boys ‘n’ Girls night at Fed Hall has been a major success and will continue to be for quite some time. 1Iowever, Indie nights at the Bomber have yet to be fully utilized. For a small fee of $3, you can listen to some amazing local talent: perform a diverse array of music. Next Thursday night at the Bomber, The Acid Folk will be opening for Confusion of the

I am amazed that these little pink pyjamaed feet can bring the whole huge world to its knees. Exuberancly observant of the world around her, how is it those huge blue eyes see her little two-feethigh universe? With one balled-up fist firmly around her mother’s hair, this kid proclaims and shouts, babbling sounds that are really no more nonsensical than the organized, formulaic memorizations we spew to each other every day. She can be amused for hours by some suddenly loony adult blowing on her face.

ond before relaxing into oblivious sleepwe come closest, When did we start Ishoulding and whatiffing? Whose obligations do we Iive up to?To what extent am I just a product of this accelerated, desensitized culture? Is there simplicity in our instant-gratificationand-fries-with-that times? I am not a pessimist at all, I would point out to you; I see hope in these wee faces, and a beautiful need, and wisdom, and possibility. At once able to believe in forever, without needing to, and accept a precarious tomorrow: this is growing up. Whoa, but I’m getting preachy. Shut up now. Theother, by the way, is Oscar Wilde.

Senses. Friday nights at the Bomber remain a highly valued source of underground house, hip-hop, reggae, calypso, and R&B. The premise of Friday nights should be tantalizingenough. I mean, where else can you go on Friday to listen to non-Ma&ream music, with a mature crowd and a $2 cover charge? The answer is nowhere. Believe me, I’ve searched high and low. Friday, February 26 will see the return of House Night at the Bomber. There will be- live DJs spinning jungle, tech-house, progressive house and break beats. March is going to blow your mind! On March 7, the Torture King’s Stunt Show will come to Fed Hall. The originator of the Jim Rose Circus brings you a con-

tortionist, a strong man, a human pincushion and a variety of other crazy human tricks. On March 12, Maestro Fresh Wes will perform live at Fed Hall amongst a cast of amazingToronto and local DJs. On March 6, Wide Mouth Mason is performingforfree at Fed Hall. Tickets will be available soon. And finally, March 27 is the date for the first on-campus rave at Fed Hall. The party will start at 10 p.m. and go until 6 a.m. the next morning. h4usic will be represented from across North America. Keep your eye out for more details. The toughest decision a student will have to make during this month is: How am I going to have enough time for all these events? !vly answer: strict time management!

hbpe in noodles.


by Ann Bruce 5pecial tu IImp fin t any of us will recognize this lady’s friendly, familiar face, You have probably seen Elsa Woodhall on cash at the UW Bookstore. Although, her responsibilities as a sales associate include training and supervising part-time staff, organizing displays, books on backboards and data entry, Elsa’s first prioriry, she says, is customer service. “Even the coworkers are customers,” and they too are also a L0okingoutforthestudentsfirst. priority. photo by Kkran Green Elsa works at the Bookstore from August to May. pus longer than the five and a half During the summers, she spends years she has spent at the UW &okher free time attending auction store. As of January 3, she will be sales, scouting for antiques. “celebrating” her 10th year on camEvery weekend in the sumpus. mer she goes to auctions or flea Prior to her days at the Bookmarkets. She loves bartering and store, Elsa used to work in Student getting a great deal. “If I can’t Records in the Co-op department. barter, I don’t want it,” she says. However, Elsa is in her element ElsaalsoenjoysDanceFit,an here in the Bookstore, especially exercise class with dance which is since she loves fiction, notably not as intense as aerobics. She also works from Mary Keyes and John used to play a lot of baseball. And Grisham. She pointed out the new there are some things that Elsa has 1Upercentdiscountoffallgeneral done that she won’t tell us about! books in the UWbookstore, so that Elsa has two sons, aged 2 1 and students now get a discount right 19. She described the manner in away instead of a booklet card. which she treats the studentsin the Elsa indicated that there will Bookstore as how she would like be some upcomingchanges to the her boys to be treated, She always Bookstore. As it is now, first year tries to put herself in the customstudents for the last two terms have ers’ shoes and when dealing with been able co order textbooks off rude behaviour, “the key is not to the bookstore site. She also wants be rude back,” she says. to remind people of the sale - 25 She stressed the importance per cent off everything (except of her rapport with customers, since textbooks) - in theUWShopand “they perceive the store as they Bookstore at the end ofNovember see you.” each year. “See you there,” Elsa Elsa has actually been on camsays.









AT EXT. 3132









Hey baby! What’s your Sian? by Owen

the Oracle


Having recently come into a happierplaceofgoodkarma(howmany

Coronas does it take?), you are ready to transcend superfluous encumberments like exes, hormones, shoes +. . no dog food will be flung in the coming days; life seems to suit you like a good support bra.

a crying jag. But don’t jag yet! A friend, who will soon become a close friend, will provide assistance. Just make sure you wear blue. party like it’s 1999, because it is. Next week, buckle down because

ant feeling mathematics

and attributing it to could just put you in

The homicide you committed at age 10 is going to come back to haunt you this week. Other things to haunt you: an odd feeling that you smell like a plumber’s foot, the pizza delivery guy and your decision to read this horoscope.

Yourluckynumberisfiveandyour iucky day is yesterday. There is an important adage you should remember: playing with a time machine is fun, a _menage a trois with _ your grandparents is not fun.

Yellow hasnever beenyourcolour but lately you’ve been wearing it since everyone else is. Hmm, take a hint from Ally McBeal and float on air today. But make sure you keep that lolling tongue in, okay?

Self-doubtisoneofthe worst things you can experience and you’ve been experiencing that lately. Go back to the basics and make sure you know the multiplication table backwards and forwards. At least you’ll have something to do during the February “blah” days.

Your friends and I have been talking and we’ve decided that you’re wackier than Koss Perot on methamphetamines. Hit the sack faster than Ali in his prime and stay there until M&Is are the official candy of the year or your brain is going to start to smell like a guy eating Gorgonzola cheese.
































Practicespeakinginanupper-crust English accent this week. You’ll gain this new, wonder-world perspective. Reel it in and put it in a bottle. Better yet, when next you visit the beach, write a nice juicy love letter and toss it in the. . .


Disco has been calling you, but please please please do not heed thecall! It died for a reason. Don’t hook up the electrodes and zap the night away Dr. Frankentein. School has become a beast that is trying to kill you. Stay away from assignments and kiss your fridge.










Ontario, Canada AU 3W8 Tel. 1.519.8887465 Send us ycmr cover letter and resume

in confidence

and let us know that

you’re ready to join US on the edge. Please quote reference


Someone has been addingcalcium supplements to your coffee in order to brighten your teeth and strengthen your bones. The message they’re trying to send is clear: invest in 10 gallon hats and kitty Ii tter.

Fax. 1.519.888.7884


You’ve been having the urge to hula-hoop lately and it’s been driving you loonie. Don’t despair! Salvationcomesfromanunlikelycarricr, but since you know this now, you don’t need to be surprised.

Some like it wet by Rebecca Cmlg Hlckle





he Convention on Wetlands, signed in Ramsar, Iran, in 1971, is an intergovernmental treaty which provides the framework for national action and international cooperation for the conservation and wise use ofwetlands and their resources. Asof February, 1999,114countries (ContractingParties to theconvention) have signed the treaty, including countries on every continent and all the G7 nations, and 966 wetlands have been registered. The celebration of World Wetlands Day commemorates the original signingof the international convention for waterfowl and marshes. This treaty was called the Ramsar Convention and was enacted to preserve international wetlands, which are very precious for living creatures (especially waterfowl), but are easily destroyed. It called for both the conservation and sustainable use of such resources to protect the wetlands and the large variety of aquatic creatures, which are food for migrating waterfowl. Wetlands are one of the vital ecological elements which sustain the world’s waterways that provide our food and drinkingwater, and yet we

negligently continue to allow kets” because of the extensive their destruction around the world. food webs and rich diversity of At the 19th meeting of the plants and animals they harbour. Standing Committee, in late October 1996, World Wetlands Day was officially designated for February 2 of every year, the anniversary of the signing ofthe RamsarConvention. It is an opportunity for governments, organizations and citizens to undertake big and small actions intended to raise public awareness of wetland values and benefits in general and the Ramsar Convention in particular.In February 1997, only a few months later, a considerable number of countries undertook a wide range of activities aimed to raise public awareness, and the worldwide response in 1998 was enormous. By all accounts, the response may have been even better in 1999. Wetlands benefit peoBuf@Sainte-Marie gives an address forWetlands ple and the environment, both locally and globally, photo by Nicls as they are now recognized as being among the most producAlmost all Canadianscome in contive ecosystems. They can be detact with wetlands everyday, some scribed as “biological supermarway or another, without knowing




it. The interactions of physical, biological and chemical components ofa wetland -such as soils, water, plants and animals - enable the wet-lands to perform many vital functions. Some functions are: water storage, storm protection and flood mitigation, shoreline stabilization and erosion control, ground-water recharge (the movement of water from the wetland down into the underground aquifer), ground-water discharge (the movement of water upward to become surface water in a wetland), water purification through retention of nutrients, sediments, and pollutants, and stabilization of local climate conditions, particularly rainfall and temperature. Next to Russia, Canada has the most wetlands in the world. There are 35 Ramsar sites day. in Canada, which are wetlandsofinternational Jensen iniportance, giving Canada the largest area of designated wetlanc Is in the world. Wetlands compri! se about 14 per cent of the

land areaofcanada. On the Canadian prairies, where shallow water bodies are prevalent, wetlands are threatened by encroaching agricultural and urban development. Wetlands also constitute an important environmental link between the Northern and Southern hemispheres where millions of migratory birds make the journey twice yearly. They depend for their survival upon the concerted wetland conservation action by many countries that are in their range. The Wise Use Guidelines call upon contracting parties to adopt national wetland policies. These involve reviewing their existing legislation and institutional arrangements to deal with wetland matters (either as separate policy instruments or as part of national environmental action plans, national biodiversty str:xegies, or other national strategic planning), developing programmes of wetland inventory, monitoring, research, training, education and public awareness and taking action at wetland sites involving the development of integrated management plans covering every aspect of the wetlands. For more information on wetlands, visit the official website of the convention at lIttp://w~~. 7-(ltnsaf. 0%

The Environmental Bill of Rights by Rebecca /mpn’ntstaff



Any resident can now hold the government accountable for what it does, and what it fails to do, in protecting the environment. Among other things, select government ministries must develop and implement Statements of En-

n February 15, 1994, the Environmental Bill of Rights(EBR) tookeffect and the people of Ontario received a tocjl to help them in the protection and restoration of the natural environment. While the government of Ontario retains the primary responsi bility for environmental protection, the EBR provides every resident with formal rights to play a more effective role. The EBR estabIishes a formal frameWetlands! More than just wet land. work for notifying the public about prophoto posed legislation, vironmental VaIues (SEVs) to policies, regulations and other legal instruments that wilf have a guide their actions. The EBRcresignificant effect on the cnvironares an independent Environmenmerit and then coilsidcring tht: ta! Commissioner who is appointed by, and reports to, the pi tdic’s input before chc governOntario 1,egislscure. menc makes a final decision.

The responsibilities of the comissioner include in part: reviewing and commenting on a prescribed ministry’scompliance with its EBR requirement, assisting prescribed ministries with educational programs (upon request), and providing educational programs to the public. Any two persons can request that the government investigate the alleged violation of an environmental law. The E B R also provides a process for the general public to request that any existing policies, Acts or regulations

access is provided through thecreation of a new cause of action to protect public resources and through changes to the public nuisance rule. Protective measures are also provided for employees against reprisals if they report unlawful environmental practices by their employer. The ministries subject to EBR are: Agriculture; Food and Rural Affairs; Citizenship; Cultureand Recreation; Consumerand Commercial Relations; Economic Development: Trade Energy, Science and Tourism; and Technology; Environment; ._:_ .1. ... “. ._. .;. __ _’ : __:. . . ,...i.,. :..: ,.. : ‘. ; .:... __, ;__,: :: . . . ....’ ..:. ., ; :

by Niels Jensen

bc reviewed

Or new

ones developed, in order to protect the environment. If unsatisfied with the governmerit’s response toan environmenta1 issue orconcern, any individual has court access to ensure the correction ofsuch anaction. Enhanced




.: -..:,

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. . . .. _. ‘For



Health; Labour; Management Board Secretariat; Municipal Affairs and Housing; Natural Resources; Northern Development and Mines; and Transportation. The EBR is one of the most significant environmental laws enacted in the province in the last 25 years. It guarantees the basic environmental rights of Ontario residents and allows public access to the decision making process. The most important step in ensuringits success is to make the public awareofwhat the law is intended to do and how it works.





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long believed that: the abilspeak like modern humans develop until about 30,000 ago.

Clues works’cableTVshows, and Lycos’ web sites will include ads for TV. US4 Networks will also merge its Ticketmaster operation with Lycos. Investors were skeptical about the terms of the deal, which will give Lycos a 30 per cent stake in the newcompany. USANetworks will receive a 61.5 per cent interest and Ticketmaster will own the remaining 8.5 per cent.

Lycos to merge with Home Shopping Network LJSA Networks Inc. is merging its Home Shopping Network and other properties with Lycos Inc,, (the popular web destination which incorporates Tripod, AngelFire and MailCity), in a deal that creates a formidable new Internet company. Ic is the latest merger seeking to combine the strengthsofanestablishedlnternet company with a television nework to entice more people to visit the world wide web. The new company will advertise its web services on USA Net-

Telephones achieve compliance Canadian telephone service will be immune to the year 2000 computer bug. Hoping to provide

assurances that telephones will ring in the new year, the Stentor alliance of telecommunications companies demonstrated irs testing facility to Industry Minister John Manley on February 11. Stentor believes tests at the Ottawa laboratory prove the industry is in line for an uninterrupted, bug-free transition as the year in many computer clocks moves from 99 to 00. “We have every confidence the telephone system in Canada will work seamlessly as we roll over to the year 2000,” said Alex Giosa, Stentor’s vice-president of network operations. Stentor completed tests last week with participation from a host of long-distance companies, wireless service providers and industry associations. Turning the lab into a makeshift time machine, phones were set up to test the interoperability of calls during key dates including January 1,ZOOO.

Study 110% Student



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Newresearch published in this week’s proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences overturns a highlypublicized claim that Neanderthals could talk. The study, reported by anthropologist David DeGusta and hiscolleagues at the University of California, Berkeley, refutes the idea that the size of a nerve canal (which supports the tongue-flexing hypoglossal nerve) correlates to speech ability. Neanderthals evolved around 300,000 years ago. If they could talk, it would indicate speech evolved significantly earlier than has been thought. Researchers

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of deadly


The flu that: killed more than 20 million people in 1918 may have silently percolated fr)r several years, possibly trading back and forth between pigs and people, until suddenly growing strong enough to become the world’s worst pandemic. Understanding thegenesofthe 1918flu is important because different influenza strains circle the globe annually. Usually, they’re fairly similar to viruses people have caught in the past. But every sooften a strain cough enough to kill millions emerges, and experts warn that the world is overdue for another one. Most experts believe that genetically stable flu viruses reside harmlessly in birds, but that occasionally a bird infects a pig. The swine immune system attacks the virus, forcing it to change genetically to survive. If it then spreads to humans, the result could be devastating.

Friday, February 19, 1999 more than 1,100 years ago. S u c h homogeneiv is greatly prized by researchers, because it means tha’r genetic anomalies can be more: easily identified in studies of the origin of diseases. This has provoked a bitter battle both within and outside of Iceland as it has suddenly found itself at the fore-front: of a world debate over the ethics and uses of genetic research. Turtle

Iceland is known around the world for its eerily beautiful but spectacularly punishing landscape, carved almost beyond reason from volcanoes and ice. It is well known for winters that are shrouded in darkness and summers that are brilliant with light and for the fish, particularly cod and shrimp, that make up 75 per cent of its exports. But Iceland has another precious resource. It.has a nearly homogeneous population, whittled down over the years by natural disaster and disease, carrying nearly the same genetic codes as the Viking explorers who settled


Biologists long ago accepted the lazy beasts as the most ancient of the reptiles, considerably older than the lizards and birds to which the reptile lineage also gave rise. ButastudyappearingFridayinthe Journalof Stimmuggests a radical rewriting of the evolutionary history of this familiar group. The new molecular research declares turtles to be the unexpectedly close relatives of crocodiles. But most surprising of all, turtles and crocodiles appear to be the most modern of reptiles, leaping past lizards, snakes and birds into the top branches of the reptile family tree.

BPS Iceland reveals gene pool and sparks controversy

is shifted reptile tree




A court hearing a defamation case is expected to rule on a prosecutor’s request that an Internet service provider be held liable for the information stored on its servers. The decision could set a precedent for British libel law. At a pretriai hearing, a judge heard the prosecb tion’s request to strip Demon Internet of its “innocent dissemination” defense under the 1996DefamationAct.Thesuitwas filed by physicist Laurence Godfrey, who has run a personal crusade to force the Internet tosub-. mit to national libel laws, Daniel Lloyd, legal adviser to Internet Freedom, a British campaign group, called Godfrey’s suit against Demon “a worrying incursion on free speech.”


The secretsof the bone one pathology can frame the lives of the past. It can provide information on age, gender, ethnic origin, diet and disease. Dr. Maria Liston of the Anthropology department at UW has been examining and piecing cogether a group of prehistoric skeletons found in northern Ontario, dating from about AD 1400. Careful observations of these 600 year old remains have revealed conditions such as arthritis, osteoporosis, severe tooth decay and even the presence of cancer. Arthritis reveals itself in the build-up ofextra bone; the process

hollows in the shoulder bones may result. Adisturbing example of tooth decay can be seen in the immense holes through the teeth. In some severe cases pockets form in the jaw where infection has spread beyond the tooth after rotting away the entire crown. The danger in severe periodontal disease and tooth decay is the threat of rhe infection spreading to the bloodstream, which would cause death if it remained untreated. Cancer can be established upon examining the x-ray of a pelvis boric. iz white areaindicates that the bone had attempted to build itselfup to halt: the slow growth of the tumour. Piecing together entire skel-

of destruxion,


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lage and consequent renewal. Rather than rhe characteristic smoothness and roundness of healthy bone, arthritis tends to cause a flatness and roughness. Osteoporosis is evident in the disappearance of bone. For instance,


a range

of borwzs may

seem impossible, yet based on age and gender, it is easier than one might think. Age is the easiest factor to determine. Skeletal growth generally ceases between the ages of 2 1 to 23. Following an additional two years, the process

of bone deterioration begins, Although bone is conscantly renew-. ing itself, the aging process cannot be stopped and thus bone renews itself at a slower rate as the body grows older, and leaves evidence such as arthritis and osteoporosis in time. The more difficult task in piccing together skeletons is matching up the limbs with the correct skel-eton if the ages are somewhat: similar. Fortunately the joints and bones of the human body are all quirc distinct ar.d easily diffr=renriated from one another. It is this type of “archeological forensics” that Dr. Liston is conducting which is crucial to the study of earlier societies and the lives






effects of geography, hygiene and diets can be projected from bone studies. The quality of life and causes of death- can lend further data to theories and studies in migration, agriculture, architecture, warfare and other cultural facets.

Nordic Team collects shinv medals w

by Don



igh expectations going into the Ontario University Championships (OUAs) led to some disappointments, but both the men’s and women’s teams represented UW admirably, with tremendous efforts all around. If anything it was more amatterof trying too hard and forcing things rather than letting things floti, which had a number of our skiers behind where they would have liked to have been. There was certainly no lack of excitement on February 13, in the tough, hilly Camp Fortune Trails in the heart of Gatineau Park near Ottawa. I had anticipated that this would be the most competitive men’s field I’ve seen at the OUAs with a solid effort needed to finish in the top twenty. Will Fitzgerald of Laurentian finished first, surprising all the favourites in the 8.5 km race, including: Wayne Dustin (Carleton) fourth, Eric Potter (Nipissing) third and Steve Bursey (Lakehead) second. Charles Curtis was our top man in 13th, Ian Murray was one second back in 14th, veteran Dave Climie finished a strong 15th and Kris Doyon had his best OUA finals skate race finishing 20th. Carleton took the early team lead with Lakehead and Laurentian in hot pur-

racer Lana Puumala (Lakehead) for first with fellow Laurentian teammate Becky Laakso in third. The men’s team put the morning’s results behind them, capturing fourth place in Saturday afternoon’s free tech-

SUK Allison Lampi, who has been on fire all season, was our only top 10 finisher in the opening free technique events finishing sixth. Leanne Wortley came through with a huge effort, and a ton of physical talent to finish 16th just behind our rookie sensation Kelly Skinner. Skinner was 15th with Jodie Scott finishing 18th. Laurentianand Lakehead dominated the top placings with Nova Scotia born Bronwen Davies (Laurentian) holding off an always tough big time

Dammit! I wanted to be on the cover. . . photo by km Alexander


nique relays. Murray especially turned things around in the 3x7.5 km relay event as he confidently charged hard on the final leg to pick off Laurentian’s and Lakehead’s “B” teams.

A monumental struggle in the last leg saw Carleton’s Dustin blast past Laurentian’s Will Fitzgerald on the final downhill into the stadium to steal the gold with Lakehead finishing third. UW’s women were rocking around the 4.25 km relay course. There was intense drama and excitement as Kelly Skinner kept us in the hunt off the opening leg and an amazing effort from Jodie Scort left the struggling third place Queen’s team within striking distance of Lampi. We all should be extremely proud of how well these talented women performed in capturing third place. Laurentian anchor Dianne Carlson held offa hard charging Jacyln Hutton of Lakehead for the gold. Sunday saw the: sun shining much brighter on the narrow trails. The women were off first in this classical technique race using an always exciting pursuit format where the skiers start behind the leader from the previous race and must make up the time. The actual skiing time counted for overall points and medals on this particular day. In the 11 km event, Lana Puumala chased down Rronwen Davies securing gold for Lakehead while leaving Laakso (Laurentian) wi th bronze. Allison finished an astounding eighth place cracking top 10 for the second day earning her first and much coveted AllStar honour. Jodie had her own sizzle going as she finished in 1 lth place. Kelly and Leanne helped blow the doors off the Queen’s carriage as they placed 20th and Zlst building up a lo&point lead to finish an incredible third overall. Jenny Northan came back from a prolonged viral infection and was in fine form moving up considerably to finish 22nd. Monica Henriques produced her best racing of the season as both her races left no doubt as to the future potential for her continued

to page 16

Waterloo machine unstoppable Despitewins, rivals pursueUW hockevteam rc

by john




hat do beer, eggs, wieners and rhis weekend’s goal production for the Waterloo Ice Hockey Warriors have in common? The answer, ofcourse, is “things that come in dozens.” This is a good thing for the university of Waterloo as the season is winding down. However, even two victories against Laurentian and York did not make the situation any better for the Warriors. On February 12, the Laurentian University Voyageurs came to the Columbia Icefield in hopes of sweeping the season series. However, Dave Cressman’s squad was determined to foil the Voyageur’s plans. Early in the first period, Jarrett Rose faced several shots from the Warriors. Luckily, the Warriors got the first goal in the 12th minuteas Mike Devereaux lfl3aCost.a didn’t sit on his lifted the puck past Rose’s shoulder. Oneminute and 15 seconds M..+ later, Sean Fitzgerald scored off . a heinous turnover by a Laurentian defensive unit. Unfortunately for Waterlm, Keith Walsh made a superb shot that whizzed by Joe Harris to cut the Voyageur’s deficit in half. Insults would later be added to injury as a scuffle between David Zanier and Joel Widmeyer resulted in the latter getting a roughing penalty and a game misconduct. Nevertheless, this would not discourage the valiant Warriors.

In the second period, Laurentian and Waterloo displayed goals and physical play to the sparse but partisan fans at the Columbia Icefields. The first goal of the period was the result from possessing a two-man advantage. Apparently, Chris Tomijanovich and Shane Sullivan received minors 13seconds apart. The result was an easy power play goal for Mike McIlven. Yet three minutes after this goal, Robbie Jones recovered the puck from a rebound and placed the puck in the back of the net. Dan Mundell and Serge Dunphy exchanged goals togive Waterloo a 4-3 lead after two periods. In the third period, the pace had taken its toll on the understaffed squad of Laurentian and it showed in their play. In the eighth minute of the third period, Jay Henry scored an easy goal that upset John Glavota, so much so that the referee handed Glavota a game misconduct. Seven minutes later, assso much, maybe he’s savemore Shane Sullivan received photo by Niels jensen a game misconduct for a vicious high stick against Brett Turner. Nonetheless, this did not discourage the Voyageurs. An empty net goal by Mike Devereaux sealed the deal for the Warriors. “There was lots of stick-handling and holding in this “and J give credit to Laurentian for game,” svred Cressman, their depth.” Cressman was unhappy with the referee, telling Imprint: “We had some difficulty with the referee

(Fagan). We were trying to keep our composure. To our credit, we talked about poise and discipline out there.” Overall, Cressman lauded the line of Devereaux, Henry and McIlven. As for Craig Duncanson, he said, “We were short handed with seven to eight players injured. We were outplayed tonight and could have given up, but we didn’t.” Asked about Fagan, he said, “They have a tough job and we don’t agree with all the calls, but that’s the nature of the game.” Forty hourslater, theYorkYeomenvisited the Icefields. This time, Waterloo began their assault on the Yeomen early, throwing everything that they could at Bobby DaCosta (including Brandon Moffatt). In the seventh minute, Mike Johnson and Jay Henry tricked Bobby DaCosta off face-offs to give Waterloo an early two-goal surplus. However, Yianni Ioannou cut the York deficit in half as his shot escaped the grasp of Joe Harris and crossed the goal line. The second period saw the exchange of goals that was hauntingly similar to the game two days before, However, York began the scoring as Yianni Ioannou scored on the power play three minutes into the period. Three minutes later, Sean Fitzgerald had his shot deflected and the puck flew past: DaCosta. Alas, the lead for Waterloo would only last 109 seconds, for a deadly turnover by a Warrior player lead to a goal by Sasha Cucuz. Luckily, Rob Marie scored at the point to give Waterloo a one-goal advantage. After two periods, Waterloo had scored four goals whileYork scored only three. The third period was very memorable for Sean Fitzgerald. In the third minute of the game, Sean’s second goal of the game was weird as the shot went of the post and in the net. Seventeen seconds la’ter, Sean completed the hat continued

to page 16





page 15

in the sport. Laurentian beat Lake head to the wire for the overall championship, finally derailing them forthe first time in many years. What a sight it was as the men blew out of the starting lanes for - their 1S km classic pursuit. It was a Waterloo skier, Ian Murray, who’s stride was more beautiful than all the rest -even Olympian Wayne Dustin’s whowas well recognised

internationally for his classic uphill diagonal stride! Murray finished third, a scant five seconds away from a siIver, solidifying his second consecurive All-Star placing. Eric Potter (Nipissing) finished first moving quickly past Rursey(Lakehead)at thestart. Kris Doyen showed some excellent classic technique as well and charged up through the field to finish fourteenth. Dave Climie capped a great OUA career with one more top fifteenth placing.

Athletes of the week


19, 1999

Hard-core hockey

Gnarly Nords continued


Charles rounded out team scoring finishing in seventeenth place. Greg Brigley in his first OUA Championship action did a superb job both days as he graced the course with superb strides. Greg Reain battled hard as well despite being held back by illness for over a month. Lakehead’s depth showed once again as they captured the men’s title ahead ofthe Laurentian Voyagers with Carleton slipping to third and Waterloo finishing fourth. The Waterloo team was the best supported, friendliest and most spirited. Thanks to Chris Naylor, Peter Mills, Jeremy Crane, Greg Reain’s brother Al, Man, Andrea, Bernd Schneider, Randy Fagan, Malcolm O’Lewis and head coach Kevin Thomson for all the hard work!

Wise stated, “Waterloo played well and capitalized. Their fore-checktrick as the biscuit snuck past ingand our blowing the puck in our DeCosta at the post,&or the hunown zone killed us.” Wise was dreds attending wh&aw this goal, contented with the play by Yianni ._:I joyful shouts and cpers were the Ioannouand Loren Bredahl. In fact, order of the day. ii:’ the Yeomen were optimistic about After the gar&, :: Dave Cressthe third. However, as Wise said, man quipped, ‘~th+@me was pres;t:.::‘]:““You’re looking at battling back at _... _,_ ._,.. sure-packed ;&$ we Were g@y ..: :onegoal, then boom, boom, you’re and hard worl&g~:l.&l& s@z@&$ ,-.!;:&vn,ihree .:...., goals.” [York] and howi~~~challe~~~~,~:;:.~“i. . . ..’. ,..._;.T:&$lsst ale of the regular .... __.: Cressman also:.$pised Sean $i&i::‘,! :.seas~,~.~~t.:~~-~a~~ebrua~ 20?as “; gerald and RQib Marie, sa.yingl: trtiv&Iawn south for _._.. ... :.,~..~~~.~~~~iors _. continued



page 15



the UniversjtyofWind-

_..:..............:.:.:...'.'.'.'...'." .I...-_'*'_'i..l... ......C .. us. As for Magi,.:..,..: he js the ~~~~~:~~~~~~~~~~rs at 7:3* p,m. ‘This is a ..,-A ...:. ..:‘:: :.._:i .‘.: ::.::.:..:r ,...A+‘.:+. .A>:: .,.i..,. ._._. ..,.I...,.. ,.~..::>.t,: .,:,::_::, ~,...._., f$&-$;<tj$.w-x:.:: ::::::‘:.y;;;~ ga~@&i#$~aay have playoffimplistone of OL$ defense.” ‘.

playoffs, Cr@+ifl~~ stare&- ?@&c want to get to”rhe &yoff$@&~’ As for Grahkm j&&‘&&&s happy with the resul;‘i.cs~~~ially after the 1 l-2 thrashing by Laurier last Thursday). As for the game,


$+g,.on ‘.‘C.out and enjoy

the Wat~~lc$~@q~rs. For the play

off gam~$$&.:&&~d begin on l?&rua~!?!&, Icefields, Waterloo Centre or Thompson

game will either at the Recreational Arena.

Men teach Lancers a lesson l

by Mtke Downing specia/ to fmprint


Mike Warrior

Zavershnik Basketball

Zavershnik, a fourth-year Arts & Economics student from Toron to had two outstanding games this past week. Mike helped the Warriors move to a tocalof five wins and five losses in league play. In the 94 -76 win over WLU and the 62-53 victory over Guelph, Mike had impressive stats totalling 23 points, 13 rebounds, seven assists, three blocks and two steals. Even more impressive was his defensive play, court leadership and good decision making. Mike was nine for 10 at the foul line, including five for six against GuelDh in the last four minuYes of play.’ m

Ailan McKenzie Figure Skating Ailan, a third-year ES student from Orono, has contributed greatly to the figure skating team’s point standings this year. An OUA AllSrar for the second year straight, she was aIso second in the Senior A singles event, and skated on the precision team in the final event. She was partially responsible for contributing 22 of 51 total points for the team’s final standings. In the Senior A singles event, she achieved a personal best by successfully landing her first ever double flip in competition. Ailan received a gold in the Senior B singles and a silver in the open solo da&e.

t’s funny how all the practices, games, fans screaming and hoopla comes down to a few numbers on a page. The numbers speak. They may not tell the whole story but they tell you a lot. Take for example some sportswriter from Toronto who somehow managed to read into Mano Watsa’s bad stats at Windsor that Kwame Boamah (who?!!) was better than him. Apparently, the 57 points Mano scored against Boamah last year doesn’t mean much. Boamah read his own press and mistook himself for a star. He launched 19 shots on Wednesday in the Windsor/Warrior rematch and hit 2. Those numbers don’t lie. Fuelled by Zav’s 10 boards, Stroeder’s 18 points and Mano’s eight assists, the Warriors took the cake with some great numbers. Windsorcame backwithhderson, the 28-year old brother - wide like theGrand River-wasaprobIem. -



Dan Schipper and Woody Kwiatowski were my faves in this one though. Woody had one of his best games as a Warrior. In only21 minutes Woodydropped 13 and played serious defense. His single turnover had to be a record for a guy who usually has enough to open a bakery by games end. Schipper’s alley-oop dunk had the house buggin’ so much so that even Boamah contributed a bucket to Waterloo the “Myankle’sbetterboys...watchthis!”-Watsa cause. photo by Joe Palmer Let’s talk point-spread. Seeing as there’s a at game’s end? Somebody didn’t good chance these teams will have do the math. the same record, and point spread Come do the math on February 20, as the Warriors take on will matter, why did Windsor keep Laurierat WLU. fouling and giving Waterloo points

1999OntarioUniversity Lifeguard Championship Come out to the PACpool to catch the action!Fri. Feb.26,430 pm - 9 pm 6 Sat. Feb.27,lO am - 6 pm. Getinvolved, VolunteersWanted!cox3xt Kristen Alderwn: k~&

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Cross Canada Challenge Congratulations to the following are the top three participants so far... DerekGolka RomarArmas Khanh Mguyen


Friday, February 19, W99



Track kicks ass Waterloo continuing to impress Competitive League

Volleyball update

The Winter 1999 term of competitive volleyball began with an explosion of changes. New convenor and Referee-in-Chief, multiple game days per week and a C league were the most significant changes when compared to last term. The spirit of competition is being implemented again due to its effectiveness last term. Four leagues were formed with 52 teams this term. The A league consists of 12 teams within 2 divisions. Currently, there is a chreeway tie for first between Tasty Fish, Last Minute and Nanook of the North, Last Minute is playing excellent defensively and Tasty Fish seems to be heading for the fmals again this term, The B league has 31 teams within five divisions. Zero Vertical is chasing the undefeated Underkill team for first place overall. Watch out for the Falcons and theSlushPuppiestomakeamove up in the standing in the coming weeks,The Diggers are currently dominating the C league, which consist of five teams. The Geos are a challenge for the lead. The co-ed teams plays in the D league. The Chemies are having a great season on the court, and


by Ryan



this is reflected in the standings. AHSum Volleyball and South 4 are competing for second place. The league standing is very deceptive at this point in the season becauseoftheunequal number of games played by each team. This deception coupled with so many teams competing for the lead in their respective leagues will provideanexcitingand perhaps shocking finish to this season.

Broomball League update



n the first ten minutes of the game our Women Warriors racked up such a decisive 12point lead over the Windsor Lancers, that it seemed that the fun police were in town. These teams were meeting for the second time this season -the first meeting in Windsor saw the Warriors get their first win in seven games when we fully vanquished them. As the tip-off became a memory and half-time appeared

In our first season offering Campus Recreation Broomball at the competitive level, we are pleased to announce that the league is off to a great start. The league has seven teams this term, an ideal numberconsideringthat each team will have the opportunity to play everyone once. Both the Pink Fuzzy Bunny Slippers (Al) and the South Penguins (A5) remain undefeated, scoring a total 17 points and 13 points respectively in their three games for the top two spots. The league’s top shooter is the Pink Fuzzy Bunny Slipper’s Jeremy Witmer, with seven goals and three assists to date. Kudos to the Sweepers (A7), the Iron Curtain (A4), and Stallions



In A league Ice Hockey action this term, OffSyde and Bomb Squad are undefeated. The competition is fierce with the standings extremely close. In the B division, the top four teams have yet to find their equals as The Hulkamaniacs, the. Worriers, Mech Dogs and Dyksra Poultry lead the division. The Beefcakes and the Blades are battling it out for top spot in the C division as the end of the season draws near. A reminder to teams to keep up the great work, there have been quite a few penalty free games and we hope this trend continues right through the playoffs. So keep up the clean,competitive, friendly hockey because the spirit of competition is the ultimate goalie.

on the horizon, the visitors began to steal the fun. Hitherto, the Lancers had been on their way to a repeated losing performance with some missed passes and overall poor play, but they soon got their act together. The Warriors’ lead diminished to five points with five minutes left. Four mifiutes later, after two free throws the Lancers tied it up and wenton tocapture the lead by one point. Seconds before the half Kristen Eisner, who was one of the Jead scorers for the half, sunk a basket for the Warriors to take back the lead and the score stood at 39-38.




Ice Hockey League update

and the Womerrdo too



in the Desert (AZ), who have all remained penalty-free in each of their games. We are also pleased to announce that not a single team in the league has seen a negative Fair Play Rating from competition or referees in any game, an honourable achievement all players can be proud of. Games are played in the Columbia Ice Field on Saturday nights from 9:OOp.m. to midnight, and anyone is welcome to come watch the action.



& University

of Waterloo


he university Track and Field team had an impressive showing at last weekend’s York Open, scoring a total of 13 personal bests (PBS). Thingsgot under way wirh the men’s 60m dash, where Warrior teammates Geofffhiessen and Richard Sibley both ran personal best (PB) times of 7.57s and 7.82s. Warrior jumps coach Tim Moller, made an exciting post-university Track and Field career debut running the 60m in a time of 7.83s. Tim also had outstanding results in the men’s long and triple jump. In the women’s 60m, Daniella Carrington qualified for the B final where she ran a PB time of 7.98s. The talented rookie runner didn’t quit there, and assumed yet another PB time of 42.15 in the women’s 300m, while rookie teammate Dana Ellis ran a beginners PB time of 44.6s. Warrior competi tors were below the competition in the men’s and women’s 600m, where Pierre Labreque placed second wi th a PB timeof l:ZXO.TrevorYoungand Stephen Drew also ran PBS of 1:3 1SO and 1:X.60 respectively. Our 6OOm women finished just as strong. Allison Salter placed third with a PB time of L37.60 and BlankaSharmawasfifthwithatime of 1:38.40.

Our Warrior distance runners had a successful meet and were lead by Lynn Coon who placed first in the women’s 150Om with a PB time of 4:47.08. To add yet another PB to the list, Angela Player hurdled herway toaPB of9.83s in the women’s 60m hurdles. Warrior jumpers also posted high flying results. In the men’s high jump, Raul Martin cleared a height of 1.92m placing him third, while teammate Barry McLaughlinjumpedaPBheightofl.&%m. Our lady long jumpers, Allison Brazier and Dana Ellis placed second and third in the women’s long jumps with jumps of 5.13m and 5.06m. Always a meet highlight is the men’s and women’s 4x4OOm relays. Not to disappoint the crowd, our men’s 4x4OOm team consistingof Warriors Neal Roberst, Jason Dockendorff, Paul Gill and Greg MacDougall ran in a time of 3:32.27 putting them in third place. Greg MacDougall ran his split in a PB time of 52.33s. The women’s 4x4OOm relay team, including runner Allison Salter, Dana Ellis, Daniella Carrington and Nicola White, fought its way to a second place fmish with a time of 4: 15.10. Our women’s 4x8OOm relay team repeated thesecond place finish with teammates Blanka Sharma, Shannon Smith, Jill Patterson and Lynn Coon running in a time of l&07.39.

As the second half opened Adrienne Cillis stole a Lancer ball andsheandMaxxLapthornetook a two on one scoring opportunity which resulted in a free throw that started the scoring. Cillis stole the ball again minutes later and laid it in off the backboard. Ten minutes before the final buzzer, the Warriors led by six and then 12 soon after that. Windsor kept fighting but the war had been won at 67-54. Nicole Consitt sunk the most shots for UW with 18 points. The women face the Wilfrid Laurier Golden Hawks tomorrow at noon in the Laurier gym.

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Jazz is all grown


“Jnu. Goes To College” series is happening at Grad House by Kerry




he name “Jazz Goes To College” applies to three things. Forty years ago, it was an album recorded by jazz legend Dave Brubeck. Ten years ago it was a jazz series at Trent University in Peterborough. And now it’s a jazz scrics at our very own CJW. Of course, these three things are almost all one. Back at Trent University in the late ‘BOs, jazz lovers decided to hire several bands from the Toronto area to play the Peter Robinson Dining Hall, which was deemed to be an intimate enough atmosphere to house the series. The event was dubbed “Jazz Goes To College” in honour of Mr. Brubeck. Theseries was a hit, running annually for years afterwards. Fast forward to 1999. Mike &IcNulty, a UW grad student and a veteran of the original Jazz Goes To College series, sees an opportunity for the old series to become new again. To this end, he has requested (and been granted) the Grad House to hold a four- concert series of local artists.

The new series is or a series pass for $18. entitled “The Louis Included in the price is Fagan Memorial Jazz a glass of wine and finSeries: Jazz Goes To ger foods. College.” Louis Fagan The next concert was another one of the takes placeon February originators of the origi24with the DerekHines nal Jazz Goes-To ColQuartet playing the lege series who passed House. Hines is well away tragically two years traveled in the tri-cities ago. An accomplished area: besides playing songwriter and musiregularly at the Jane cian, the spirit of his Bond Cafe and a threework lives on through week stint at Waterloo the rejuvenated series. Stage Theatre last NoThe first concert took vember, Hines has also place last Wednesday at played thevarsity Club the Grad House with the on University Ave. and Paris Cafe Quartet perthe Dry Frosh Night at forming. The concerts the Bomber this past will take place every Frosh Week. second Wednesday unHines enjoyed his til March 24. Performers gig at the Bomber, notinclude the Paul ing that despite the obMitchell Group on vious inability to obtain March 10 andThe Sharp booze the Fros h assem“We’rejazzmen.Whothe hellareyou?”IanRingand bled were still very reFive on March 24. Derek Hines strikin’a pose. McNulty wishes to ceptive. photo courtesy of Derek Hines emphasize that the seHe and his pianist ries is open to everyIan Ring will be playing body, not only Grad House memcerts, with both grads and their brand of loungey vocal jazz bers. The series has waived memundergrads having equal access to and swing like Sinatra. Hines and bership exclusivity for the four coneither single tickets for $5 apiece Ring have also just finished re-

Arts in Brief l

by Paul Schreiber hrlpfmstti


Neudorf babysitter”

.Sarah McLaohlan’s trial resumed last week in a Vancouver courtroom after a two-month hiatus. The Canadian singer-songwriter is beingsued forsongwritingcredirand compensation by former 54-40 drummer Darryl Neudorf. The Canadian Press noted that tvettwerk Productions’ Mark Joweit’s testimony made Neudorf \ound like little more than a glorified babysitter. McLachlan herself made a surprise appearance incourt this week and laughed at the suggestion that her next albumshould be called &@a~& and u‘nder pL2tr,.

Pavarotti dumps steel city for sweetheart After leaving his wife of 29 years for girlfriend Nicoletta Mantovani &last year, Pavarotti showed as much respect for Hamilton as he did for the institution of marriage. That is, very little. TIv Hu~iZ~0fl22pK~oto~ reported that Pavarotti was un-

happy with the New Hamilton Orchestra, dissatisfied with the sound and lighting systems in Copps Colliseum and took off early Sunday afternoon for his New York chickie, disappointing thousands of fans.

Morisette to Canadian

showcase talent

After touring extensive through the United States, Alanis Morisette is set to take on Canada. At a press conference, she announced tour dates with Sloan, Kinnie Starr, Emm Gryner, Limblifter, Wide Mouth Mason, Copyright, and BTK, among others.



at home

Apple Computer, in co-operation with Twentieth Century Fox, DreamWorksSKGand a half-dozen other studios has made movie trailers available on their web site in QuickTime 3 format.

Great Big collection East Coast Music Awards


Great Big Sea picked up two ECMAs, one for entertainer of the year and one for video of the year. Bruce Guthro won Male Artist of the Year, and fiddler Natalie Ma&aster picked up the EChlA for Female Artist of the Year. Guthro also won Album of the Year for 0s Yu~rSun and SOCAN Songwriter of the Year and Single of the Year for “Falling.” Gordie Sampson took home the award for Best New Artist.



CBC’s technical workers didn’t waste any time. After they found themselves in a legal strike position on the weekend, they walked off the job at midnight Wednesday. Viewers tuning in found live programming replaced by prerecorded shows, coloured barsat6:30 a.m. instead of morning news. The CBC did manage to put Metro morning on the air at 6 a.m. The employees are represented by Communications, Energy and Paperworkers Union.

cording a new aIbum of original titles, due out in the next few weeks (keep checking Imprint’s New Revolutions section to see the review as soon as the album has hit the stores). The Paul Mitchell group are describedasa “trumpet based outfit which does everything from Big Band to cool jazz,” Paul’s band consists of Dave Thompson (guitar), Dave O’Neill (drums), and Mark McIntyre (upright bass). The final band for the series this year is The Sharp Five, consisting of Sandy McDonald (guitar, banjo, vocal), Alan Coulter (cornet), Les Marshall (clarinet, saxophone), Kim Derstine (Fender bass) and Karen Tomlin (drums), Various horns and different drums are also part of this multi-talented New Orleans swing group, so get your tickets early. Although the Jazz Goes To College series is new on UW campus, it is more than worth the effort to check it out. Tickets are available at 8884567 ext.3803. For more info concerning the series, e-mail Mike McNulty at: mjmcnuI&a#urts .UWQtt?hO.GU.



Friday, February1 9, I999

Purple people by Paul




hink purple. Thinkredfly purple, We’re ralkin’purpie hair, purple socks, purple eutqt/ring. We’re talking about Su Alexanian. The Water100 Independent Studies (IS) alumna made her Bombshelter debut last Thursday, filling the room with her unique sound. Performing in only her third solo show, Alexanian displayed confidence throughout her 14-song set. Alexanian sang and tickled the ivories, accompanied by guitarist Les Cooper and percussionist Dave Tollcy. She opened with “I Followed You” and followed it with “Ethan,” a song with a story behind it. Alexanian met Erhan, asqueegee kid, when she was only 15. Ethan had been living on her own for four years near the Bloor and Bathurst: area of Toronto. The singer-songwriter has deep sympathy for children like Ethan, noting with disappoinrmenc that there is “no social safety net for kids under l&“Inoneinstance,agroup of squatters couldn’t even prove they were poor in order to get a food basket. She’s also involved with

groups like the Ontario Coalition Against Poverty (OCAP) and Toronco Action for Social Change (TASC). ADRR, Alexanian’s record label, is puttingtogecher a benefit CD forcovenant House and other shelters. Su feels homelessness is a “really acute” problem. Other highlights from her set included “Bathing Under the Moon,” a cover of the Emmylou Harris and Steve Earle tune “Goodbye ,” and the slightly more aggressive, “NothingCan Stop Us.” Alexanian has worked in music for a while, having contributed to the soundtrack for Colleen Murphy’s&m&K, and chedocumentaries Are You Oneof T/rem and &stmng Fear. In fact, her IS degree was in ethnomusicology. Her debut album, as yet untitled, should be out by the summer. Water is a recurring theme in Su’s work. She “[doesn’t] know why [she’s] obsessed with water,” but recalls swimming in Snyder Creek in her youth, describing it as “totally poIluted.” She and her friends would go for a swim in it and not tell her parents. “It flows,” added Alexanian. Su counts Sarah KLachlan, Peter Gabriel, Emmylou Harris, Elvis Costello and producer Daniel Lanois among her musical influences. She feels that she’s “a musician who just happens to be female,” and dislikes that categbrization that is rampant in the music industry these days. It: is her

goal to one day be “with worldclass singer-songwriters.” Before the purple musician hit the stage, a trio of Windsor musicians led by Liz Sarafianos took the stage. Playing several cracksoffcheirdebucCDl+$X“&e Fir-t So Big?and few covers, they pleased several tables fuI1 of diehard fans. After playing track two from Fire, “Find The Answers,” they took on a rockier edge with “Hot Air Balloon,” currently in the top 10 at the University of Windsor radio station. Lizcontinued with track four, “I Agree,” a song she wrote about an ex-boyfriend: “it was love at the time I promise.” “I Agree” featured nice guitar work by Todd Shearon. Shearon also runs Redhead Records, the indie label which put out Sarafianos’ disc. Erica Scott, a former Laurier student now in her second year of Human Kinetics at Windsor, had the cute backup singer thing going, and added nice harmonies to Liz’s powerful vocals, especially on “Off The Edge.” One of the highlights of Sarafianos’ show was her a capella cover of “Hold On,” which Bomber promotions man Dan Moran noted had been performed on the same stage by Sarah McLachlan herself a decade earlier. While the Barenaked Ladies may be the kind of guys who laugh at a funeral, Su Alexanian is the kind of woman who’d wear purple to one.


t’s that time of rhe year again. The Oscar nominations were announced last Tuesday. After the T.tanic sweep last year, the nominations have returned to smaller films. S/r~k~.sp~ur~ In Love led with thirteen nominations. Sming Ptivatt Rynn had eleven nominations. ~lixi&e&, 22, TKfl Hed Line and Life is &~&+&i all came in with seven nominatiotis. All of the best picture nominees are small films except for srwing Pnik2te Ryan. Shzkes@zrein Lt7v8 is an intelligent, touching, and entertaining film. It has a great cast, great costumes, and a great script. The major players are Joseph Fiennes, Gwyneth Paltrow, Judi Dench and Geoffrey Rush. Except for Fiennes, they alI received nominations. Fiennesdeserves a nomination, bur the best actor field was too strong this year. Gwyneth Paltrow was perfect as Shakespeare’s love interest. She had a charming British accent, and looked beautiful in the Eliza-





war. It is best described as visual poetry. The film takes viewers into the minds ofthe soldiers using narration and flashbacks. Terrence n;lalick received nominations for best director and best screenplay. The T&n RedLids Oscar chances are not great, but it is very deserving of the nominarions. Lifeis Beautifulis a tragic comedy set in Nazi concentration camps. It: was nominated for best picture and best foreign film. This double nomination is a rare feat. Roberto Benigni was nominated This too is a rare feat. L$dsBemr;fu1 is a charming little film.



nomination). Spielberg is a favorite for the best director Oscar. The Thin RedLine is also about World War II. However, it is very different from &%g Ptivdte Ryan. The T?iin RedLinedeals with the psychological aspects of the

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Oscar’sback bethan costumes. Judi Dench was once again a queen (she played Queen Victoria in Mrs. Bran), Queen Elizabeth is a character Dench has perfected. Geoffrey Rush provided comic relief as the bumbling theater owner. There was nothing extraordinary about his acting, but he played the part well. The screenplay was penned by R/larc Norman and Tom Stoppard. It: is.a strong favorite for the best original screenplay Oscar. &ving Pn*vute RJKW is a gripping portrayal of World War II. The central element to this film is its realism. The storyline of the movie seems contrived, the acting is average, but the action sequences are life-like. Tom Hanks and Steven Spielberg both received nominations. Hanks’ actingwas nothing extraordinary, He has long been a favourite of the

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KMFDM Doin’ it again + l



For KMFl>M fans, getting thisalbum is like findingthat trunk full ofold keepsakes and heirlooms at your grandparents’ place. You flip through the trunk. Some of the stuff is mildly interesting, but not particularly valuable. Take a look and nut it back. Some of th’e stuff, you don’t know what the hell it is. Some of the stuff lays you flat out on your butt laughing. And here and there, amidst the other stuff, are one or two little treasures. Agogo is a collecZen of rare bits, outof-print pieces and previously unreleased works spanning the time of KMFDM’s first (released) album \!J&zt Do You Know, Deutschlund? in 1985 to the Naive album in 1994. Agogo starts off with “ThankYou”what was to have been the intro track for A&X. It never made it to the final cut, w$ch is mo bad, because, although brief (only45 seconds long), this is one of those little treaures. “Thank You” is followed by two other --pieceswhich did makeiton&V&e (which is now out of print): the KMFDM classic “Godlike: and the dance remix of “Virus.” Although there have been multiple





by Weran lmprintstt3f

and somewhat

versions of boxngs, the only other release ofthese versions was on the original version of Naive. Purists may go for these tracks, but personally, I find the heavy guitar workon this version of “Godlike” takes away from the song, and the dancehall-poppy mixing on “Virus” just makes it top fluffy. If there are treasures on this album, they are “Rip the System” and “Naff Off,” from the now-discontinued 12 I’ vinyl J1or.e and Faster. These are classic, hard-elec-

tronic KMFDM. The ska-esque vocals in “Rip the System” is KMFDM with a twist, and “Naff Off’ has some great voice samples. The cover of UZ’s “Mysterious Ways,” which appeared on the SAur Lip Kr’rry compilation, just has to be heard -again and again and again. This is an hilarious little gem.


“Oh La La” - KM FDM’s last-minute contribution to the Hellrai~~~Zlsoundtrack-is more classic KMFDM, if a little more upbeat. The challenge is to tryand figureoutwhatthchellEnEschis saymg. The last three tracks, “Hole in the Wall,” “ Agogo” and “Zip” are all previously unreleased. They’re not the shining stars of this album. “Hole in the Wall” is actually a version of the original remixed by Scott Burns in1993. Apparently Sascha hated the results, feeling that the addition of the heavy metal guitars made it too cheesy. It’s said that he hassubsequently revised his opinion. I agree with his original sentiments. The guitar is just wrong. “Agogo” and “Zip” are interesting in that they are rare examples of KMFDM’s flirtation with a funk sound. Title track “Agogo” was in the runnmg to appear on An,t, but was dropped before it even got lyrics. This seven minutes of electro-funk instrumentals is worth a listen, and would make good soundtrack music somewhere, but really lacks something without the in-yourface KMFDM vocals. So, KMFDM fans, take this chest home for your collection. You won’t pull it out often, but everyonceinawhileyou’llget the urge to sift through its unique contents.

by Singer /mpnhtstaff


After being told that most of the songs on @onde Jugrrratr /as N&z.2 (“Where Do The Little Girls Play?” in English) by Molotov are in Spanish, I decided to put my high school Spanish to use and try to evaluate its lyrics as well as its tune. First ofall, with the exception of two English songs, the remaining ten are in Spanish. However all the lyrics appearing on the CD jewel case insert are in English just for those who can’t understand Spanish but want this CD. Despite being self-described 3s “Neither rock nor rap, but who give a fuck?” on their web page, I thought this CD as a whole was rock with a heavy mixture of rap in some songs. The first song, “Que Nmo te Haga Bobo Jacobo” (“Don’t Let Jacob Fool You”), gives the listener a good start to theCDwitha songabouta news reporter named Jacob, who alters the news before he reports it on air, The lyrics are somewhat repetitive but overall they go well with the music. It is perhaps their strongest song on the entire CD

seemed to be created for their initial shock value rather then the content. Examples include the song “Qtiitate clue Masturbas” (“Keep Away ‘Cos You Masturbate”) or “Matate Tete” (“Kill Yourself’). While the lyrics may be shocking for some, prime time TV and other artists have gone further to attempt the shock the listeners, so Molotov’s feeble attempt did absolutely nothing for me, Despite this attempt at shock value, three or four of the songs combined the music and the lyrics beautifully and made an impression. The music to the other songs is quite good, but the lyrics made me want to hit the skip button. Overall, Molotov seems to be an attempt at imitating American rockand rap culture, but it is poorly done. The music is quite good, and well played, but some of the lyrics just do not cut it. As a connoisseur of foreign music, including french rap, I would say Molotov has a lot of potential to get big, but only if they stop writing songs just for the shock value.



Friday, February1 9, 1999


Operate your ,ownmind now-ubiquitous Fatboy Slim’s “Rockafeller Skank,” which has appeared as background music in no less than three different movie commercials. Characterised by, well, big beats and a variety of samples and sound effects as well

byFrankYang sptxid to fmpfint “Dance music” is a term that’s beginning co mean as little as “alfernative rock”. Artists like Underworld and Primal Scream have little in common with vacuous popsters like All Saints or (gawd) Britney Spears, but they’ll all get: some butts movingataclub. Whatsetsthem apart, however, is the fact that their music is just as engaging throughapairofheadphoneson a Sunday afternoon as in a smoky club the night before. Released last: May in their native UK, the debut from the LoFi Allstars is their entry into the music scene that is being termed “bigbeat”. Already the sound du jour in Britain, its popularity on this side of the Atlantic is evidenced by the

as live instruments and conventional song structures, it seems to be the natural evolurion of dance musicas it continues its insurgence into conventional rock circles. Huw To uperute With A Blow?2 Mindis already one of the benchalso like to mention that member of this group old, so I guess in time might blossom. In their

the oldest is 17 years the group biography

byToksTawose /mprintst~ I thought the CD was okay for what it was, but it wasn’t much. What isgoing on here? I have written more this term about a lack of originality than I ever have, As for the band, imagine Backstreet Boys, only younger. Now before anyone takes this as an automatic disaster, I would like to say that I love the Backstreet Boys. Take 5 is comprised of a team of brothers and friends. Their songs are very simple and catchy, so I give them credit for that. Some . sd’&s, however, were like nursery school rhymes: too structured. Before I jump the gun, I would

the group was described using words like soundful, soulful, and smooth. I cannot agree or disagree, because I know that artists Compton, and the degradation of women proliferate throughout. Why the record company even decided to manufacture this album is beyond me. Eazy-E begins the album by

byScottPreston sped~ to/mpnht So Easy-E is dead. Through the modem wonders ofCD technology, he is still able to release really bad albums. This former member of one of the baddest groups to come out of South Central Los Angeles cannot do anything original, and seems to be lurking in she shadow of his former group. This album is circa 1993, and sounds horribly out of date to be released today. Excessive use of the words muthafucka,

mark big-beat records, with the Allstars enjoying a degree of celebrity at home. Though the sixpiece collective operates behind pseudonyms like Albino Priest, the Many Tentaclesand (undisputed champion) A One Man Crowd Called Genitle, they’re hardly looking to open up the London embassy of chc Wu-Tang Clan. Instead, they’re fusing disco, funk, rock and hip-hop into a pretty cohesive and funky end product. The melting pot doesn’t always work, but when it does, the results can be outstanding. Highlights include the over-the-top “Vision Incision” and the Massive Attack-ish closer “Nightime Story.“Maybeyou like what you’ve been hearing from this scene and fancyyourself a funk-soul brother, or you’re just looking for something blistering to toss in the CD player at your next gathering. Either way, How To Upf?zte Wzh+A BlowzzMindcould be just the ticket. Lo-fi? No way. Allstars? Almost definitely. Lo Fidelity Allstars play Lee’s Palace on March 4,1999. can learn to adopt other styles of singing. I enjoyed listening to the CD, and there was even a clever attempt to reproduce a popularJamaican song. This group loves fun and knows how to present rheir idea of fun to us, but one of the best things about this group is how inclusive they are. By this I mean there was a great effort put into drawing the crowd in. Listening to their songs, one has no doubt that they are having a blast. I credit the group for this ability, and for their ability to stay youthful. One thing they did not sell into was attempting to act older than they were. Their youth is their image, that simple, that true. I would not give them a perfect 10, but this much I will say: Take 5 will take time. dissingsnoop and Dr. Dre on track one, and proceeds -to sound exactly like Snoop on track two, and then track six, and then track nine. The only track with any decent beats is “Gimme that Nutt,” but the lyrics are so bad that it just cancels out any redeeming qualities that it had. The final track “Down to the Last Roach” is Easy-E’s homage to smoking weed, and seems to conflict with his old group (WA)




“Express Yourself’ “I still express, no I don’t smoke weed or cess.” It seems like Easy smoked a littie too much, because he can’t express shit.






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Get Ready, GetSet, Go! The WaterlooWellington Chapter of the Crohn’s and Colitis Foundation of Canada is looking for volunteers to help with their upcoming special event, the Heel ‘n’ Wheel-a-Thon. For info call 746-0202. Big Sisters of Kitchener-Waterloo and area needs you! Female volunteers are required to develop one-on-one relations with girls (aged 4-17) and boys (aged 4-l 1) years, For info call 743Build your resume! Give to the community! Friendly volunteers are desperately needed to provide companionship to people who have Alzheimer Disease. Two hours/week commitment. Training/ support provided. Call Alzheimer Society 742- 1422. The City of Waterloo Volunteer Senrices, 888-6488, is currently recruiting for the following volunteer position: ‘Transportation Schedulers’: are needed to assist in the scheduling of drivers for the transportation program Monday and Tuesday mornings. English Tutor Program - volunteer tutors are needed to tutor students on a one-to-one basis in written and oral English. Tutors meet students on campus for 1 term, usually once a week for l-2 hours. Volunteer at the International Student Office, NH 2080 or call ext. 2814 or email darlenea watservl . Volunteers with car and time during d.ay are needed to drive elderly clients to medical and other appointments, Flexible position. Mileage reimbursement available. RAISE Home Support, 7447666. Volunteer a Friday night with the K-W Association for Community Living to help adults with a developmental disability participate in recreation and leisure activities. ~-.- Call Susan at 743-5783. if you are interested in any of the following opportunities, please call Sue Coulter at the Volunteer Action Centre at 742-8610. Please quote the number following the title. Further information about the VAC can be found at http:// ’ vacfiles/vac.htm. NOTE: the VAC has moved to 68 Queen Street North, Kitchener, N2H 2H2 (across from the

Kitchener Public Library). Make Children’s Dreams Come True by getting involved with the 1999 Sunshine Foundation Walk for Children’s Dreams. Volunteers who are well organized, excellent knowledge of the community, public relations, sponsorship, etc and committed a few hours a week for 6 months. Literacy Tutors - #048-2223 needed to help youth improve reading, writing and math skills. The Write Place is looking for volunteers to give 2-4 hours a week for 6 months to work oneReally Make a Difference in a Child’s Life - #I IX-2573 A new prenatal nutrition program is starting in the Waterloo Region to support pregnant women who, for whatever reason are having difficulty eating heatlhy food during their pregnancies. Become a Library Tour Guide - #0671942 Find out all there is to know about the Kitchener Public Library and share it with others. This is the perfect position for people who love the library, enjoy meeting new people and can give two hours a week during the day. Sunday Chapel Help Needed - #I 89 A.R. Goudie Eventide Home is looking for volunteers to accompany seniors to a chapel service held in the home on Sunday mornings. Only an hour of your time is required. Oktoberfest in Spring? - #126-2574 Absolutely! An Oktoberfest Beer, Wine and Food Tasting takes place Saturday, February 20 at Kitchener City Hall and volunteers are needed to help the Lioness Club with a busy coat check booth. Big Sisters - ask about our short-term match program created for university students. A car is an asset. Gail 7435206 and ask about our 1 day training session March 6, 1999 from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m. Volunteer and make a lifelong difference - visit a child in their school setting to build self-esteem and confidence. Call Friends Service of CMHA744-7645, ext. 317 or visit

HopeSpring is launching a fundraising project. Limited edition prints signed and numbered by artist Bert Williams will be available for purchase at a price of $200 unframed, or $275 framed through Graystone Gallery. For more info about HopeSpring contact Betty at 43 Allen Street W., Waterloo. 742-4673. Ebytown Food Co-operative: organic, locall grown, minimally packa ed food Yor people, not for profit. A t ordable prices! 280 Phillip Street, Building A4, Waterloo Co-operative Residence. Call 886-8806 for weekly store hours. Guided Self Change of alcohol use: for individuals who may haV8 concerns about the amount they are drinking and want to cut down. Call Counselling Services (ext, 2655) to find out more. Waterloo-Germany Exchange open to all students. Receive UW credits - language fluency - International experience - Intercultural skills! Deadline is March 15, 1999. For more info contact secretary in Modern Languages, Rm 313 or the Director at 885-I 211 ext. 2260 or http://watarts. mannheim. html. The Canadian Society of Painters in Watercolour presents Nameless Waters. University of Waterloo Art Gailery January 14 - February 21, 1999. Informal Opening Reception: January 14, at 4 p.m.. For more info, call (519) 888-4567 x3575 or x6923. Designing Learning Activities with Interactive Multimedia - IS301 A (W99) A new Independent Studies project course sponsored by the office of Teaching Resources and Continuing Education (TRACE). Students in the course will develop an understanding of the following areas of knowledge: the processes at work in mediate.d learning activities; the potential and limitations of interactive multimedia instruction; the steps of the development process for inStrUCtiOnal multimedia, including recommended milestones, reviews, and risks; the components of an effective design for learnercentred software. For more information, please contact instructor Kevin Harrigan, PhD x6832, kevinh 8

This January the Farmer’s Market will bein operation again. Students may purchase their $2.00 tickets at the Turnkey Desk in the Student Life Centre. This return fare offers students a trip to the Farmer’s Market in St.Jacobs to shop. Crafts, fresh produce, meats, cheeses and flea market buys are all part of this famous local market. So jump on board and enjoy one of the many services offered to you at the University of Waterloo! Waterloo Community Arts Centre is offering a number of workshops during the months of February and March on Silk Painting, Watercolour, Figure Drawing and more. For details, please call (519) 886-4577. 25’Regina St. S., Waterloo, ON. N2J 1 RB. Career Workshop for Arts Students. Join alumni as they Share advice on the job. search strategies that get results. 8:30 - 3:30 p.m., Saturday, March 6. Contact Christine Woods, HH 146, Ext. 2119. The WATgreen Advisory Committee requires information from Senrice Departmsnts, Staff, Students and Faculty regarding campus environmental activities for presenting the state of the environment report for UW. For further information or to forward reports, please contact Patti Cook, Waste Management, DC. Due to heavy snowfall this winter Recycling Blue Boxes must be put where they can been seen for pickup, on top of snowbanks or end of driveways. For more info call 883-5150, ext. 234. UW-CMCC Chiropractic Research Clinic is pleased to announce Jeffrey R. Tuling will now be practicing in this clinic. Call 888-4567, ext. 5301 for more info. Did you make a new year resolution to start working on getiing a grasp of some of the interpersonal conflicts that are going on in your life? Or, maybe your life IS running smooth right now, and you are just interested in working on your communication and conflict resolution skills. The University Conflict Resolution Support Program will be offering workshops on four consecutive Wednesdays, starting on Wed., Feb. 24 and finishing on Wed., Mar. 17. The sessions runs from 3:30-5:30 p.m.

at Engineering Lecture Hall, EL209. The workshop is free and all is welcome. For more info and registering call Catherine Fry at ext. 5671 or cafry@ Thanks to the great support given by the staff and students at UW. 240 donations of blood was collected last week at the SLC of which 6? were first time donors. That works out to 960 patients that will have their life extended or saved. From Canadian 8lood Services and your community - thanks. We took forward to coming back March 29-April 1 in the Student Life Centre. Canadian Federation of University Women K-W - 35th Annual Used Book Sale at the First United Church, King and William Streets, Waterloo, on April 9 from noon until 9 p.m. and April 10 from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m. For info / to donate Call 740-5249. A Choral Special Event! “The Vancouver Chamber Choir” in concert with “The Renaissance Singers”. One 23 at appearance only on Februa St. Andrew’s Presbyterian i! hurch, Kitchener at 8 p.m. For tickets: Twelfth Night Music Store in the Atrium, Waterloo Town Square or call 745-0675. St. Jacobs School house Theatre presents “Serenade” with AnneMarie Donovan, Michael Donovan and Leslie Wyber on February 27 at 8 pmm. at 11 Albert Street, St. Jacobs. For info/tickets call 664-l 134. The Elora Festival Singers present J.S. Bach’s master iece, The St. Matthew Passion, on hparch 7 at 330 p.m. at the Church of our Lady in Guelph. For info and tickets call 846-0331. Career Workshop for Arts Students. Join alumni as they share advice on the job search strategies that get results. 8:30-3:30 p.m., Saturday, March 6. Contact Christine Woods, HH 146, ext. 2119. Award for Distinguished Teaching by a Registered Student. http:// taaward.html. Deadline is Friday, February 26, 1999. Call ext. 3132 for more information. The !ODE Gladys Raiter Bursaty for Graduate Study is offered for -one year of post-graduate study to residents of the Municipality of Waterloo or students studying at the University of Waterloo or Wilfrid Laurier University. Approximate value $2,500. Application deadline: April 15,1999. For information telephone 905-522-9537 / fax 905-522-3637 or contact the Graduate Offices at the above Universities.

ties or visible minorities. Deadline: . Julv31/99. u nat scholarship - aVal6 hnarcel ‘Tl ivi - Water Resource Manabl8 to 38 ; ;;ent students. Deadline: May B 1 Sh II Hecrultment IiChOlarshlp - avaIlabt to Chemical Mechanical Civil and Electrical & Combuter who h&e or will be applyin for a Co-op o&ion with Shell. Dea 8 line: March 15 P99. ‘Standard Products (Canada) Ltd. Award - available to all with preferences to Chemical and Mechanical based on marks (minimum 75%), financial need and leadership abilities. Preferences will be iven to students who have a home a %dress in the Country or Municipalily of Perth, Huron or Halton. Deadsnces: line:-March 1199. hnichael Geliner Memorial SchOlarShIp w8lding PrOduCt Manutacturers ASavailable to all 3rd year Regular Health sociatiok of Canada Scholarship - availStudies and Kinesiology.-- Deadline: able to 3B Mechanical students who are March 31/99. interested in enrolling in the Weldina hot>ert Haworth Scholarship - CCWWSpecialization. Deadtine: M&&l/99: tion of 3rd year in an honours program h!esCast lndustnes L;OntinuOus Leamin resource management related to Park ina Award - available to all for financial Plannin and Mana ement, Recreation, n&d. Deadline: March l/99. Natural It eritage or 8 utdoor Recreation. A rd - available to 3tf J kW Deadline: May31/99. C&. DZiZ: EL 30/99. Faculty of Arts: racurty of mvironmentar Arts Student Union Award - available to Studies: all Arts students. Deadline: Feb. 26/99. Hobert H;Xworth SChOlarshiP - cOmPleRobin K. tlanks/~acioll Award - availtion of 3rd year in an h&ours braable to 18 Accountancy Studies based ramme in resource management reon marks and extracurricular involvePated to Park Planning and Management, merit. Deadline: March 31/99. JVV . . uvck ScholarshiD - available to 1SC Recreation, Natural Heritaae. or Outdoor Recreqtion. Deadline%ay 31/99 or 2nd vear GSLL stbdents. Deadline: Marcel requegnat Scholarship - availend of &inter term. able to 3rd year Environment & ReSames c;. MCKeQney MemOflal Award source Studies, Planning, Water Reavailable to upper-year Arts students source Management. Deadline: with outstanding performance and/or May 31/99. extracurricular activities in the Hispanic Borne Husswurm Memonal Award Area - one in Peninsular Spanish Studavailable to Year 2 or above in Geograies and one in Spanish America Studies. phy: open to undergraduate and raduDeadline: Feb. 26/99. ate (preference to undergrads); ‘g ased m-Manulite Community&World Servon financial need, marks, and extracurice Award - available td students who ricular involvement. Deadline: March have completed a work-term in the servl/99. ice of others, locally, nationally or abroad Faculty of MathemaUCS who received little or no remuneration. 3 tdersen Consultmg Award - available Interested students should contact Arts to 38 Math. Deadline: March 31199 Special Programs, HH. &rtitrea Management Accountinn BurOvestcast Industries Continuous Leamsary - available to full-time studeits in ing Award - available to Accountancy Mathematics- Business Administration/ Studies for financial need. Deadline: Chartered Accountancy. Preference March l/99. will be given to sudents who attended Faculty of tngineerlng: high school in counties of Perth, WaterAndersen Z;onsulting Award - available loo, orWellington. Deadline: May 31/99. to 36 Engineering.- Deadline: March e orators tiroup Ltd. Award - avail31/99. able td 3A Actuarial Science based on Andy (Andreas) tlaumgaertner MemOmarks and extracurricular involvement. rial Bursa - available 3A or above Deadline: May 31199. Svstems iI esian for financial need. FrankIln 8. Uana MemOnal Bursary Dbadline: March 1199. ape? to q or above Actua,rial Scietice John Bergsma Award in tngineenng f$nanaal need. Deadline: March available To all based on financial need, . minimum 75% average and leadership/ &CtrOhOme 15th Annlverary Scholarextracurricular involvement. ship - available to 38 Computer Science. J .p . BCkell t-oundation Bursanes -availDeadline: March 31/99. gble to all Chemical students. Deadline: friar Luca t%aOIi Award - available to March l/99. 1B Accountancy Studies based on Canadian posture and Seating C;ent# marks and extracurricular involvement. SccoF5~;;p - available to all. Deadline: Deadline: March 31/99. bh II Hecruitment Scholarship - availft th Carr Memorial Award - availabl8 to abg to 3A 38 or 4A Computer Science $igor 4A Chemical. Deadline: June or Busin&s ‘Administration students who have or will be applyins for a Col%&trng tngineers ot Untario Ydlolop sition with Shell. Deadline: March arship - available to all 38. Deadline: 1sp”99. March 31/99. wescast lndustnes COntlnUOuS Leamco-operators tiroup Ltd. Award - avaIling Award - available to Accountancy able to 3A Environmental Engineering Studies for financial need. Deadline: based on marks and extracurricular March l/99. involvement. Deadline: May 31199. Faculty of Screncs John mere umrted Scnolarship - avaG JP t31clcell Foundation Bursarres -avail. * aMe to all 38 Mechanical with an interest able to u er year Earth Sciences. in manufacturing &/or product design. Deadline: Rparch l/99 Deadline: Marcti 31/99: c; J h &so Ltd tnvir0nmentaI bl~rs~~navaila~le td 3rdyear Chemry Deadline: May 31199. transportation field. Deadline: Feb. ME&I requqnat SChOlamhlp - aVal27/99. able to 3B Earth Science/Water Rehandy Duxbury M8mOflal Award -availsource Management. Deadline: Mav1 able 10 all 38 Chemical. Deadline: 31/99. March31 /99. Ph - Al -A fd - avarlatlle to any tl t-t n m YGhW3rShip - avariable Ph$fg or”&&i~Business based on to 388 Civi?IIeadline: May 31/99. fin&ial need and good acdemic standB _C . JOhnsOn & Son Ltd. tnvironmental scholarship - available to 38 Environmental (Chemicat). Deadline: May 31/ being accepted during ’ the 99. Winter term. Refer to Section 4 of the ontano Hydra tngineerlngAwards Calendar for Undergraduate available to 1B Chemical, Electrical, Enfurther criteria. Application forms are vironmental or Mechanical. Eligible canavailable in the Student Awards Office, didates will be women, aboriginal (na2nd Floor, Needles Hall. tive) Canadians, persons with disabiliAll


Green Bnsbrn Award - avaIlable to third year R ular or 38 Co-op female students in an“a onours program in which women are currently under represented. Deadline: April 30199. Leeds-Waterloo student txchange proI)ram Award - students to contact John Medley, Mechanical Engineering. ~nderqraduate tiursary program - the StudeGt Awards Office administers a large number of undergraduate bursaries and awards based on financial need and possibly on other factors such as marks, extracurricular activities, etc. Deadline: March l/99. kaculty of Applied Health SCI-

SUNDAY, FEBRUARY 21,1999 Spanish Club Dance Lessons -Tango -from 7-9 p.m. at the PAC, Studio2. Six lessons. Sign up on door of Spanish Lounge, MC 2456, one week prior to guarantee yourself a spot or show up at class the first day. It is a good idea to come with a partner. TUESDAY, FEBRUARY 23,1999 A Choral Special Event! ‘The Vancouver Chamber Choir’ in concert with “The Renaissance Singers”. One appearance only at St. Andrew’s Presbyterian Church, Kitchener at 8 p.m. For tickets; Twelfth Night Music Store in the Atrium, Waterloo Town Square or call 745-0675. The Csrcie Francais will be holding a French concert with Eric Belzile at the Bombshelter Pub-Student Life Centre, at 7130 p.m. This event is free. Come have a beer and listen to f rench music. WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 24,1999 Music Department at Conrad Grebel presents Alec Cathennrood & Joanne Bender, Debussy& Beethoven for Violin and Piano, at 12130 in the Chapel at Conrad Grebel. Free admission. FRIDAY, FEBRUARY 26,1999 HopeSpring Cancer Support Centre, 43 Allen Street, Waterloo, presents Sandy Street, the new Waterloo Region Palliative Care Pain and Symptom Management Co-ordinator will describe how to link resources and enhance quality of care for those with symptom managmeent challenges. Open to all at 7:30 p.- Free admision but limited seating. Call 742-4673 to confirm. Award for Distinguished Teaching by a Registered Student. http:// taaward.html. Deadline is today. Call ext. 3132 for more info.

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MONDAYS The Outer Club meets at 630 p.m. in Math &Computer, room 4040. For more see http:// info please watservl frontpge.html English Language Lab/class is from 2:3&3:20 p.m. in Modem Languages 113, September to June. The class has an emphasis on pronunciation and listening exercises. Students, faculty, staff and spouses are welcome to attend. For more information contact the International Student Office, ext. 2814. WEDNESDAYS Grace Christian Fellowship, a gathering of Christians and those interested in Christianity, meets at 430 p.m., St. Paul’s United College, McKirdy Hall. Details: Graham E. Morbey, ext. 3633 or g2morbeyO watservl . Office: SLC 2126. UW Debate Club meetings are held at 430 pm., El207. It is open to everyone, regardless of experience. Come on out and have fun! FRIDAYS English Conversation Class meets from 24 p.m. in NH 2080, Septemberto June. Students, faculty, staff and spouses are invited to attend. For more info call ext. 2814, International Student Office. SATURDAYS Farmer’s Market Bus schedule. The bus will pickup and return at 9:15, IO:1 5, and 11:30 a.m. Tickets $2.00 Ask at the Turn key Desk, SLC for more info.

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SoUtham. book your own bus trip at m on ani Saturday Nighi for the Winter Semester. THE LYRIC will give your Group FREE Admission, FREE Food, FREE Concert Tickets, FREE P&es, SUBS1DifED Transportation, AND the BiGGESTPARTYHYPEintheWorklon our STUDENT PUB NIGHT on Saturdays. Call our INFQ-LINE now at (519) 749-2121. Coma down town to the Lyric’s tlnlversity Pub Saturdays. Complimentary shuttle bus picks up at Kinko’s at 1030, 11 :OO, 11:30 and 12:OO. For mote info call 749-2121. hatom Essays (ail subjects) including Humanities, English, Business, Accounting, History, Psychlogy, Sociology, Economics, Philosophy, Political Science, Administration and more. Editing , composition, writing research. Highly qualfied graduates (post graduates) will help? Call: (416) 280-6113, Fax: (416) 960-0240, Email custom8 Playstation profssaional mad-chip installation play iport and CD-R backup games $40. 496-7636. Guaranteed quality service. Call between 2-10 p.m.







At A GLANCE -- ~~

Cede f rancais ERIC BELZILE @ the Bomber By The French Club














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/ Top-40






(SAME GREAT FOOb, THOVGH) click on Evens for pix from Girl Meets Boy Night!

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- Bomber



Iwo top students will be &amp; represent Canadaamong the worldi best and brightest science and technology undcrgroduotcr in the first...


Iwo top students will be &amp; represent Canadaamong the worldi best and brightest science and technology undcrgroduotcr in the first...