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'6SEARCHFORSASQ"ANDYOUCOULDWINACOOL KOKANEECAN SHAPEDFRIDGEOFYOURVERYOWN. Keep your Kokanee safe in your own refrigerator. To enter simply find Sasq in the above photograph and circle him. Then complete the ballot portion of this ad and return the entire page to: The Bombshelter, Waterloo University, Ontario. Contest entries must be received no later than October 26.1947.

1 am a registered student of this university. III Yes Skill testing question: (13 x 6 + 10 - 8) = Addr css: City: Telephone: Signature: PRIZE:All participants



Post al Code: ~~~ Age:

to correctly identify the Sasquatch vritt be entered into a draw for the grand prize of one Kokanee can shaped refrigerator percampus (approximate value, $750) *Note: The winnmg en!rant wilt be responsible for the arrangement and cost of delivery.


Only registered students who are not employees of Columb a Breweries any licensed establlshmenl in Ontario or the LCBOiLLBO may enter The winner wilt be required to correctly answer,unaided, a mathematical skill tesbng questron. Prizes must be accepted asawarded. and no subsblutions will be made whatsoever Odds of winning depend on the number of entnes received by contest closing date. No pu-chase neiezsar) Uust be of legal drinking ageto parficipat; Made and avarlasie in Ontaria

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Don’t know what yodve got ‘til it’s gone Lack of profits mav cause Grad House to close bySean special

Honvich to Imprint


fixture of the University of Waterloo campus is in trouble. The Graduate House, a pub which caters primarily to graduate students, has


been experiencing severe financial diffiwhich may culties of late - difficulties lead to its closure. Despite having the cheapest beer on campus and being “the one redeeming feature of graduate studies at Waterloo,“according to one student, the

Home of the cheapest . beer on campus. photo

by Laurie Bulchak

Grad House has been facing steadily falling revenues for approximately three years. The pub faced a nearly $20,000 deficit in 1995, and projections from last year are even worse. September sales are down one per cent from last year, says Steve Astels, president of the Graduate Student Association (GSA), which, in addition to its other responsibilities, runs the Grad House. At this rate, the Grad House may have to close its doors as early as January of 1998. Thankfully, action has been taken to revitalize the Grad House. In an effort to save money, Grad House hours have been shortened from the usual 200 a.m. to 1:OO a.m. to a more conservative 1 LOO am openingand 12:OOamcloseon Mondaysthrough Wednesdays. As well, the Grad House has initiated what Astels calls “a vigorous advertising campaign,” running a column in the Gazone and posting advertisements out-ofdoors, in the public eye. Additionally, the Grad House has significantly changed its menu, increased its beer selection and scheduled more special events such as bands, international nights and open-mike nights, all in the effort to bring in more customers and increase revenue. One of the largest and hopefully most effective changes being made is the re-

vamping ofthe managerial position, spurred by the departure of the Grad House’s manager for the past 13 years. Former math graduate student Dianne Piaskowski has been appointed as the new manager. In the past, the manager held “essentially a bar manager position,” with little activity in the financial aspects of running theGrad House. Now, the manager is more involved in the accounting aspects of the business, as well as being active in the every-day administrative duties. As well, the managerial position has changed from a nine-to-five job to one that encompasses afternoons and evenings, making the manager more available during the pub’s prime business hours. The GSA Council held a meeting this past Wednesday to allow any graduate students to ask questions or put forth ideas concerning the state of the Grad House. However, several such meetings have taken place before, and hopes are not high that anything more can be done. The Graduate House is an important part of campus life, a place where students can get together and have a good time, In Astel’s words, “it would be a shame if the Grad House closed,” but if patronage and revenues do not improve, it will simply not have the funds to remain open.

UW gets $2.7 million for new labs by Tasmina Imprint


Pate1 staf!f

unding for renewal projects at the University of Waterloo has been approved under theCanada/Ontario Infrastructure Works program. The $2.7 million will go towards improving the laboratories in the Faculties of Engineering, Environmental Studies, and Science. The intended upgrades will improve the air quality of the laboratories as well as reduce the consumption of energy. As James Downey, President of the University of Waterloo, pointed out, “the funding is not for the sexy, glamorous projects. . . but for the ones that could not raise funds on their own.” The Canada/Ontario Infrastructure Works program has been designed to renew Ontario’s physical infrastructure, which includes the buildings of Ontario’s post-secondary institutions. Funding is also

provided for such. projects as the maintenance and upgrading of roads and of sewage systems. Elizabeth Witmer, the recently named the Minister of Health, explains that the “money is used to ensure that infrastructure remains as it should, and people have a working environment conducive to learning.” Andrew Telegdi, MP for KitchenerWaterloo comments, “to ensure Canada’s competiveness in a global economy, we need better prepared students and improved learning facilities in all our educational institutions. I am proud to see funding from the infrastructure program contribute to the renewal of laboratories in the Science, Engineering and Environmental Studies Faculties at the University of Waterloo.” Due to the way the program has been set up, the University of Waterloo is providing a third ($900,000), of the $2.7 mil-

lion funding. The federal and provincial governments each provide a third of the required funding, only if the municipality, or in this case the university, can raise an equal share. The deans and senior directors who make up the executive council of the university decided how the funds would be allocated. Similar to the way the Canada/ Ontario Infrastructure Works program has been set up, the council tried to select projects at the university where either matching funds were available or funds could not be raised in another way. The program, which was first introduced in 1993, is now in its second phase and will be increasing its total investment in Ontario’s infrastructure to $2.8 billion. “The University of Waterloo appreciates this form of support from the two senior levels of government; it helps us keep abreast of the needs and expectations of our faculty and students,” said Downey.


“not sexy or glamorous.” photo

by Laurie Bulchak




Friday, October 17, 1997

University departments face budget cut budgets to balance this year’s budget. According to Vice President Academic and Provost Jim Kalbfleisch, the cuts wit1 be “across the board, with both academic and academic support de-

by Ali Smith Imprint staff


ost UW are now per cent

departments facing a one levy on their

partments being affected.” When the budget had been prepared, Kalbfleisch continued, there was “inadequate information” to guarantee that something like this would not happen. The deans

have been told that departments must give back one per cent of their 1997-98 budgets for a total saving of $1.3 million. The report claims that most departments will be able to meet the one per cent levy “using carryforward or temporary savings from open positions,” The levy will not apply to scholarships, utility bills and libraryacquisitions. Kalbfleischdid acknowledge that any further budget reduction is painful after

has now been updated to $142.1 million. The updated budget incorporates increased revenues, due to higher undergraduate enrolment than expected. Full-time undergraduate enrolment is estimated to be two per cent higher than the 1996/97 figure. The extra students are projected to bring in an extra 1.3 million dollars. However, graduate and part-time enrolment are lower than ex-

Increased revenues not suffkent to offset increased salary expenses. the large cutbacks of the past few years. The reason for the “one-timeonly” one per cent budget levy is increases to salaries and wages. This unexpected increase in the Salaries and Wages expense came to a total cost of $4.5 million in 1997-98, and includes “salary increases, top-up funding for replacement appointments and the transfer of funds from non-salary to salary accounts by academic and academic support departmen ts,” according to the budget update submitted to the UW Board of Governors. Annual spending on salaries and benefits


by Niels Jensen Imprint staff

Belfast-For the first time in 70 years, the leaders of Sinn Fein (the political wing of the IRA) and the British Prime Minister met behind closed doors last Monday. Gerry Adams (Sinn Fein) and Tony Blair (PM) shook hands in privately hetd peace ta1 ks. In exchange for the talks, the IRA have agreed to stop their violence in hopes of solving some of the problems that have plagued Ireland. At a local shoppingcenter, Protestant demonstrators jostled and jeered Blair, calling him a traitor. Quebec - Last Monday, a tour bus traveling to Quebec City failed to make a sharp turn and crashed at the bottom of a steep hill outside of St.Joseph-de-laRive. The bus flew from the road and fell into a stream, killing 43 seniors. The seniors were on a day trip to look at the fall scenery. The police suspect that the crash was the result of brake failure on the bus. This is the second serious crash at the site; in 1974 a seniors’ bus crashed at the bottom of the hill, killing 13 people.


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CentralIslip,N.Y.-Fornearly three weeks, a 17-year

old teen

petted, with fewer visa students attending the university. The updated budget shows tuition revenues as $53.7 million. The increased revenues are not sufficient to offset the increased salary expenses, and thus the budget levy of one per cent was instituted to maintain a balanced budget target. Despite an operating budget surplus in the in the 1996-97 budget, and a debt payment of 3.3 million dollars, the accumulated operating deficit is $6.2 million. The deficit is projected to be eliminated over the next two years.

hid her premature baby in her closet while she attended school. She delivered the baby herself at home, and fed and diapered the infant when she came home from school, police said. After two and a half weeks, her mother, Stephanie Clark, discovered the infant hidden in blankets in the teen’s closet and called police and doctors. Despite being five weeks premature and slightly underweight, the infant was in stable condition and feeding normally, said Margaret Parker, Head of Pediatric care for Stony Brook University Hospital. Shanta Clark wascharged with endangering the welfare of a child by Suffolk County Police. Quebec -Justice Minister Serge Menard said that he will appeal the sentences given to three men for their 18 hours of torment and rape of a 17 year-old girl. Menard said that Quebec Court judge Louis Carrier failed to consider all the evidence before sentencing the three, aged 23 to 27, to two years

less a day in prison. In his own defense,

Carrier emphasized that the accused had been in jail 16 months prior to conviction, and that they had never been convicted of rape before as his reasons for giving the trio such light sentences.




17, 1997



Provincial cabinet shuffle Ontariogets new Ministerof Education by Adam Imprint

Natran staff


n an attempt to avoid a possible teachers’ strike by theend of the month, the Ontario governmcnt announced changes in the composition of the cabinet on Friday, October 10. John Snobelcn, former Minister of Education and Training, was moved to the Ministry of Natural Resources, while David Johnson, chairman of the Management Board, took over the education portfolio. In addition, Waterloo North MPP Elizabeth Witmer replaced Jim Wilson as Health Minister. Recent opinion polls show that the popularity of the Progressive Conservatives is declining. One unofficial poll placed support at below 30 per cent. Respondents express their greatest concern in the areas of education and health. After the swearing-in ceremonies, David Johnson appeared enthusiastic and energetic. He expects to implement long-term change to attain “a higher level of excellence in the future.” The Minister is certain that an agreement can be reached between the union leaders and the government. Although the shuffling of the cabinet is meant to address a

threatening teachers’ strike, university education is affected as well. According to Jeff Gardner, Vice President, Education for the UW Feds, the Harris government was not expected to announce any changes until January. Before that time, the Ministry of Education had planned. to focus on postsecondary education. While debate continues with secondary school teachers, matters impor-

0 nson aims Jh for a higher level of excellence in the future.

tant to university students are pushed aside. However, Gardner remains optimistic that long-term benefits might surface. If Johnson is prepared to work with teachers to arrive at some solution, he may be willing to work with the Ontario Undergraduate Student Alliance and other organizacions on tuition, loan programs and other university concerns. Teachers’ representatives applaud the Harris government for

removingSnobelen from the Education portfolio. John Ryrie, Waterloo regional president of the Ontario Secondary School Teachers’ Federation, expresses hope that David Johnson may “give us an opportunity to start a real dialogue to improve education in this province.” Similarly, Marshall Jar+, president of the Ontario English Catholic Teachers’ Association, believes that more productive and relevant discussions will occur now that Snobelen no longer represents the government’s position on the issue, However, there are no guarantees that an eventual strike can be avoided. The fundamental problem lies with portions of Bill 160. In particular, the bill permits the Ontario government to determine class size and increase the amount of time that students and teachers spend in the classroom. The various teachers’ organizations want to set these policiesat the Iocai level. Moreover, critics of the bill argue that it is an excuse to cut $1 billion and 10,000 teachers from the education system. Earl Manners, president of the Ontario Secondary School Teacher’s Federation, claims, “If the government is just trying to change the face in hopes that will take pressure off the bill. . .that’s a sad mistake.”


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ngered by the changes proposed to the education system, more than 2,000 students from area high schools met at Kitchener City Hall on October 8. The students say that Bill 160 translates into poor quality education through larger classes, less funding and less experienced teachers. Students from several Waterloo high schools met at Waterloo Town Square and marched to Kitchener City Hall to meet with Kitchener students. Individuals came prepared with placards, flyers, a megaphone and an abundance of energy. Participants felt the walk-out was a complete victory. There were no incidents of violence during the three- hour demonstration. Frank Johnson, principal of Waterloo’s St. David’s Secondary School, was displeased with the students’ choice of action. “They could be walking out for any reason, like more gravy on their fries. Where does it stop?”

“They say cut back; we say fight back.” such actions and that students could have a greater effect by working with the system. As an alternative, he suggested a mass faxing campaign. Bernie Farwell, principal at St. Mary’s Secondary School, described this and similar walk-outs as disruptive to the education of students remaining in the classroom. As such, St. Mary’s stu-


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Faculty dents were advised not to attend the protest on penalty of suspension. Although some students walked out despite the threat, no disciplinary action has been taken at this time. Chants of “What do we want? Education! When do we want it? Now!” and “They say cut back; we say fight back!” echoed through the downtown core as students marched from Kitchener City Hall to Kitchener MPP Wayne Wettlaufer’s office. The university system in Ontario is facing similar restructuring at the hands of both the federal and provincial governments. Despite student occupations at eight Ontario universities this past winter, there has been no public action from University of Waterloo students. High school students are organizing another demonstration, this time outside of school hours. On Wednesday, October 15 at 4 p.m., university and high school students alike are encouraged to meet at the Victoria Park Clock Tower for a demonstration on the theme “It’s your education.”


Mon. to Fri. IO-9 ; Sat. 10-6 ; Sun. 12-5



Students walk out in support of teachers Others criticized the protesters for walking out of class rather than protesting outside of school hours. St. David’s stude.nt Sarah Done responded with, “Class time i; our time. We are taking responsibility for educating ourselves today.” Johnson countered that the government is not receptive to



We don’t needno education by Davin Charney and Sue Forrest special to Imprint


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IMPRINT, Friday,

October 17, 1997

Faculty admin talks begin by Michelle Bissonnette special to Imprint rI\he

1 Z-year-old Memorandum of Agreement between the University and the faculty is currently being discussed to bring it up to date. Chief negotiators from both sides met Tuesday to begin talks on revisions to the agreement. Both the Faculty Association and the University administration ar.e interested in revising the current memorandum, and their first meeting allowed both sides to express what they would like to


Both sides would like to try again. see changed. Two years ago, negotiations on the agreement stalled, and now both sides would like to try again to revise some parts of the current agreement. Among the desired changes, the faculty would like to finalize a number of per&ions and salaries and have the procedure for grievances included in the agreement. Both sides agree that a neater, more complete and current memorandum is wanted. The Faculty Association represents all of the faculty at Waterloo, and are being represented by John Wilson and Terry Downey ofPolitical Science and Ed Vrscay of Applied Mathematics. John Thompson, Dean of Science, Geoff McBoyle, Dean of Environmental Studies and Mary Thompson of Statistics and Actuarial Science are negotiating on behalf of the administration.




17, 1997

Campus Question: by Rachel Beattie and Cindy Hackelberg



Will David Johnson make a better Minister of Education than lohn Snobelenwas?




Adam Kaspar 2A Environmental Studies

Colin Wood 1A Computer Science

Derek Robinson 2A Environmental Studies

“I didn’t even know there was a new education minister.”

“No, Snob&n was on the right track; the new guy is just here to smooth things over. A good-cop/bad-cop sort of thing.”

he must be good.”

“He hasn’t had much time to prove himself. They make lots of promises, but they all end up the same.”

Michelle Hewitt

Duke DaSilva 3N Environmental and Resource Studies

Dan Nolan 2A Computer Science

Jamie Rodrigue 4A English


Grace Quin Psychology


Weasel hunting made easy by Peter Lenardon

Editor - in - Chief

The forum pages allow members of the University of Waterloo community to present their views on various through letters to the editor and longer comment pieces. The opinions expressed in columns, comment pieces, and other articles are strictly those of the authors, not of Imprint.

issues letters

“Democracy is the theory that holds that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard,” - H.L. Mencken


he recent shuffle more specifically, Snobelen, is a perfect

of Mike Harris’ cabinet and, the reassignment of John example of the way in which citizens tend to personalize politics. We vilify or deify a politician based on whether or not we agree with the policies we identify with that individual. Often, our political opinions cease to be something like, “I don’t think it is fair that I will have to pay more in CPP benefits, but will receive less when I collect.” Instead, you hear things like, “Paul Martin is an asshole,” “Mike Harris is an oaf,” or “Sheila Copps is a sociopath and a loudmouth.” I cringe when I hear people say that they have “a gut feeling” or “just don’t trust” a certain politician. The federal Tories got whipped in 1993 because voters took a dislike to Brian Mulroney. The same voters re-elected a government in 1997 that hijacked all of Mulroney’s policies. I think that is pretty concrete proof that personalities continue to be of paramount importance to our evaluations of political process. Further proof is the widespread use of image makers to improve the appearance of politicians for television. Preston Manning got eye surgery, saw a voice coach and got a series of haircuts because many voters didn’t take him seriously the way he was. I’m not a fan of his particular brand of right wing populism and easy solutions myself, but it seems no one has taken the time to listen to what he has to say. While the reason for this interpretation of politics is rightly handled by those in the field of political psychology, I suggest the importance of television has a lot to do with it. Politics is just another ongoing story we sit back and absorb from the television. “Change the channel, I’ve seen this national unity thing before.” “ Why doesn’t Stefano just leave Marlena and John alone?” ” I think John Snobelen made a convincing bad guy, but can Dave Johnson pull it off?” One of the recurring criticisms of Snobelen when he was Minister of Education and Training was that he was stupid because he didn’t have any post-secondary education. This was a ridiculous criticism for two reasons. First, nowhere does it say that the minister of any portfolio must be an expert in their particular field, because it really is irrelevant to the job. This line of reasoning would have only doctors becoming health ministers and only fishermen or marine biologists as fisheries ministers. No degree, not even a doctoral degree in education, is perfectly suited for a Minister of Education and Training. A minister works within a budget. Mr. Snobelen had to decide between a number of alternative schemes for spending that money. He also had to work within the confines of the Canadian cabinet system. More often than not, ministers simply carry out the directives of the Premier, and more importantly, the Premier’s advisors. They must appear to act on the campaign promises that were made during the election and simultaneously keep an eye on polIs, making sure that the government remains popular enough to be reelected. Shots at Mr. Snobelen’s level of education, worse than being petty and snide, completely ignore his accomplishments as a private citizen. Some went so far as to question the man’s intelligence. John Snobelen stupid? Sorry, stupid people don’t serve as president of waste-management trucking companies, management consulting firms, or chair the Hunger Project in Canada. The guy is a self-made millionaire and has had a more interesting life than a whole union hall full of armchair pundits. The result of our obsession with making symbols of politicians is that the issues become secondary to our perceptions of the individuals. Government is more about T.V. image, polls, consulting firms and advisors than ideas and good governance.The public is partly to blame. When we insist on viewing our politicians as spokespersons rather than leaders, we forget that it’s important to pay attention to the story, not the actors.


The Un.krs&y

bf Waterloo Student Newspaper

Friday, October 17,1997 - Volume 20, Number 14 Student Life Centre, Room 1116#University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario, Ni 3Gl PIT 519-888-4048 - Fax 5lS884~7800 - e-mail: www:

Editorial Editor in Chief Assistant Editor Forum Editor News Editor News Assistant Arts Edit-or Arts Assistant Sports Editor Sports Assistant Human Editor Science Editor Photo Editor Photo Assistant WWW Page Editor WWW Page Assistant Systems Administrator Graphic Editor Proofreaders

Board Peter Lenardon Katie Ricks Emily Bruner Natalie Gillis Tasmina Pate1 Scott Preston Debbra McClintock Greg Picken Liz Monier-Williams Tracy Hunt Andrew Krywaniuk Rob Van Kruistum Laurie Bulchak Justin Kominar Graham Dunn Klaus Steden Craig Hickie Rachel E, Beattie Mark Besz Shyreen Hirani Evie Nimmo Bernhard Wall

Distribution Laurie Imprint


and Scott

St&f Business Manager Advertising/Production Advertising Assistant

Marea Willis Laurie Tigert-Dumas Jonathan Evans Adam Natran

Board of Directors President Vice-President Secretary Treasurer Director at Large Staff Liaison

Rob Van Kruistum Greg Picken Niels Jensen vacant Scott Preston Justin Kominar



MichelleBissonnette, Davin Charney, Ryan Chen-Wing, Michael Cole, Deborah Cooper, Kimberley Ellig, Stuart Fraser, Sue Forrest, Kathy Grant, Cindy Hackelberg, Jude


MarkHammer, Darryl Hodgins, Sean Horwich, Sarah Konrath, Angela McCullum,Chartotte Morrison, Amber Neumann, Robert Schmidt, Shane Sigston, AIi Smith, Lauren Craig Stephen, Jeff Stewart, The Parking Lot is Full, Lisa Wannamaker, Warlord, WPIRG, Frank Yang, Mike Yunker


is the offzial student newspaper of the University

of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprinc is a member of the Ontario Community Newspaper Association (OCNA). Imprint is published every Friday during fall and winter terms, and every second Friday during the spring term. Imprint reserves the right to screen, edit, and refuse advertising. Imprint ISSN 07067380. Mail should be addressed to Imprint, Student Life Centre, Room 1116, University of Waterloo, Ontario, NZL 3421. Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. Imprint

Imprint subject gender,

welcomes letters to the editor from students and all members of the community. Letters received via electronic mail must be verified to editing for brevity and clarity. The editor reserves the right to refuse to publish letters or articles which are judged to be libellous race, religion or sexual orientation. Opinions expressed are those of the individuals and not of Imprint.

In defence of Frosh Week


very year, orientation leaders hear: “This is really it guys, we’re under the gun and we can’t screw up.” So we plan, we organize, we run every little questionable detail through as many people whose guiding opinion we can seek. We bust our butts to bring a great orientation week to the frosh. We hear compliments, receive praise, raise money for charity, enhance spirit; yet every year fresh week comes under the microscope again. I argue the position which you would expect me to argue. I have been and will continue to be an orientation leader for as long as we have orientation weeks. Why? Because I want every frosh to have the chance to experience my first year. I made it through frosh week and lived to tell about it. In fact, imagine this, I would go so far as to say it was a good experience. For ONE week, Waterloo has spirit. So while there may not be a cheerleader in everyone, orientation week offers a lot more. Yes, there were things in my frosh week that I didn’t want to participate in. So did I go to the orientation chair and demand the activity be banned? Did I make a formal complaint to the Dean? Did I denounce frosh week? No, I was an adult, so I did the adult thing: I chose not to participate. This is a choice that everyone has. The days of the big bully in elementary school are over; if you’re going to crumble under every pressure that university hands you, then frosh week is the least of your worries. Yes I view hazing rituals and forced alcohol consumption with as much distaste as any university administrator, but I ask that we be realistic. UW is not “Animal House”. No orientation leader would even t&nR of forcing a frosh to drink. We’ve come a long way and it’s time that everyone realizes it. Yes, there have been and will continue to be stumbling blocks, but if someone has a car accident, do we pull every car off the road? And something which is rarely considered: is fresh week only for the fresh? The community is extensively involved, from local businesses to charity organizations. Perhaps should I also be so seifish to say that frush week is also for the leaders? No, we are not saints, but we dedicate countless hours to prepare for and deliver frosh week. Despite the outcome, this is not all “fun”. From budgets, to paperwork, to administration, to peer mediation,

alcohol awareness, and first aid training. Maybe the kind of people that this experience createsleadersis reason enough to defend frosh week. Yes the university is liable, through the Federation of Students’ insurance plan, which essentially the students pay for. This is why EVERY aspect of frosh week is scrutinized through what feels like 10 layers of red tape. We have no objection to this-we know that we use common sense and good judgement in planning our frosh week, So I can only hope that students who feel the same, send their input to the Provost Advisory Committee in Orientation. Tell them that we care about an orientation week, Tell them that there is a lot more learning to do at university than what goes on in the classroom; and tell them that it started the minute you got here.

For all those involved in Frosh Week We would just like to take a little bit of time to thank all the volunteers who took the time to get involved in Frosh Week this year. Everybody did a great job. One thing to remember is that as hard as you try, you cannot please everybody all the time, but note that this does not mean to stop trying. We should continue for all those people that do have fun in orientation week. Unfortunately, it seems that the people who did not enjoy their Frosh Week are the only ones who send in letters and get published in this paper. Volunteers, when you read these letters/articles, please don’t take them to heart because each and every one of us did our best in the most appropriate way that we thought. After all, the orientation groups on campus have two main goals, which are to get the students oriented with the campus and more importantly, to get them to know each other. Hopefully, those who at this time are reviewing orientation (to make the necessary changes to make it more accessible and accommodating to all) will remember to talk to two very important groups: the volunteers, but more importantly, the frosh. Thank you.

A film has already been produced


have just finished reading the review of the “The Football Factory.” In all, it was an intelligent, well rounded review that caught the underlying pinnings of the book, especially through the use of “Trainspotting” as an analogous story. At the end of the article, Mr. King prophesied that a film version ofthe book will be produced. Indeed, this is (sort of) the case already. The film “I.D.” was released one or two years ago over here (England) and profiles a group of undercover police officers sent to infiltrate a “fictitious” football club in London. “Fictitious” in that the common consensus is that it was referring to a specific club, known for its idiot element of “supporters”. Anywhoo, it was an excellent film, with strong characterization and outstanding performances, much in the spirit of “The Football Factory,” if with a slightly different, and slightly less deep, profile of the football hooligan.

There is no comparison


oncerning the article “OutRage” (Imprint, Friday October 10). With a rise in neo-nazism in society today, please do not compare gay bashing with the suffering of Jews and Blacks, six million gay people were never forced at gun point into the “showers” at Aushwitz, two of my great-grandparents were.

Misinterpreted morality


his is concerning “The Parking Lot is Full” in the October 10 issue. The by-line said, “After achieving encouragingvictories against sex and drugs, the defenders of morality continue their attack on everything that makes life bearable by kicking off the War on Food...” I think that the average person doesn’t realize what the object of morality is. It is not to take the fun out of life, as supposed by

the comic. Instead, certain standards are set to make life more bearable. Moralists are not against sex; they are against the misuse of sex. Within the boundaries of marriage, sex is a beautiful thing. Read “Song of Solomon” sometime; it describes an enriching and exciting relationship between a husband and wife. Contrary to popular belief, God is not against sex. After all, He created it. The reason religious groups have taken a stand against drugs is different though. I think it’s because a truly happy and com-


with a signature. or discriminatory

All material on the basis

is of

plete person does not need artificial highs. Drugs and alcohol are used to try to fill an emptiness that can only be filled by God. Once He is found, there is no more need for illusions. Moral codes are set into place, not to drain the fun out of life, but to enrich and fulfil1 it. If people would look at statistics concerning premarital sex and drugs, maybe they would notice that these things are not actually making life as bearable as they presumed.


by Andrew Krywaniuk The Fountain Forsooth IFhis may sound a little far1 fetched, but bear with me. I believe that the interests of young people should be represented in a separate house of Parliament. The voting public should be divided up into people over 32 and people under 32, and they should each elect their own representatives. Think of the issues facing youth today: a huge national debt, an empty national pension fund, a polluted environment. The people who created these problems through irresponsible spending have long since retired, leaving others to pay the piper.

Part of the problem is that our political system does not encourage foresight. Politicians are free to manage the country’s money in whatever fashion they see fit. They face no recriminations for their overspending, so there is no incentive to be responsible. One of the main points I try to make in my columns is that sociopolitical systems will not work unless they are designed to account for human nature. Falling back on the hope of good intentions will lead the who1

The Parking lot by


is Pete Nesbitt and Pat Spacek


to page 10



10 Invective continued

heverance, from page 9

country on the road to hell. Running a country is a bit like running your life. Most people, and most countries, seem to be constantly in debt. But there is a huge difference between individual and national affairs. If a single person decides to borrow money, then the burden of that debt remains with the individual. It is simply unfair for one government to pass a debt load onto future generations. It is an act that is comparable to China’s decision to lease the citizens of Hong Kong (and all their descendants) to Britain for 99 years. I-Iow can a government justify the sale of a whole

generation’s future? Thus, enter the two-tiered parliamentary system. If we divide the government’s powers between a senior parliament and a youth parliament then there will be a mechanism in place for ensuring that the financial security of future Canadians is not threatened. The principle is sound, but the details are sticky. How can you divide up a nation’s responsibilities between old and young? “I’ll flip a coin: heads means you get healthcare and I get unemployment.” I suppose that each of the two parliaments could govern for its own constituents, but that would be pretty counterproduc-

tive, especially if they started passingcontradictory laws. “I’m sorry, Mr. Jones, but you can’t smoke marijuana if you’re over 32.” The U.S. is toying with some kind of balanced budget bill. This is a practical solution to the foresight problem, but it ignores the fact that borrowing money is sometimes necessary. Sometimes you have to mortgage the house to buy a car. Maybe what we really need is some kind of youth senate: a group of aspiring politicians who will evaluate the impact of legislation upon future generations. Unlike the existing semte, this new entity would truly look out for posterity. . *because it is posterity.





17, 1997

by Mike Yunker

A bone to pick with the creationist 0

n Sunday, October 5 in EL 101 at about 3:30, 100 people watched Dr. Kent Hovind withdraw a pocketknife, open it, and offer to take out my tailbone while waving the knife in the air. Friends tell me this constitutes breaking the law. Remarkably, most of the audience responded by whistling and cheering “Yeah!” “Right on!” Hovind is a travelling professional speaker. Over the weekend, he gave a series of three lectures in EL 101. Ostensibly his purpose was to present the “creationist world-view”: literal belief in six days of creation 6000 years ago, Adam and Eve, Noah’s Ark, and a Great Flood. But he wllected donations in KFC buckets at each lecture. There is nothing wrong with believing that a supreme being

created the universe or influenced the design of humans. There is also no conflict between an understanding of evolution and a belief in God. Hovind’s offense was to state that there was no scientific evidence to falsify a 6OOO-year-old earth. His entire presentation did not provide one testable scientific result that supported the creationist world-view. Rather, he spent his lecture time telling ludicrous stories about scientists, mocking his own fairy tales about evolution, and completely straying off-topic, preaching that all abortion is murder and that people with AIDS should be quarantined. During his lecture Hovind presented a list of organisms sorted by their chromosome count, and described how silly it

WPIRG W;rulElilOO PUBLIC INiEREST RESEARCH GROUP Student iii Gnhs Room 2139 Ext. 2578 or 8884882

4wpiw1 Atp:iAG~tsefvl,

Tony Clarke Comes to Town


hile it is virtually impossible to be a student in university today and not be aware of the word “globalization,” do we really understand the implications of this new reality or its consequences relating to our future? Tony Clarke, of the Polaris Institute, spoke at Wilfrid Laurier University on October 6 to promote his new book, T& Sibt Coup, and to provide his analysis of globalization and the corporate agenda. In his opinion, the role of the state has changed dramatically. Clarke argues that corporations have seized the reins of power and are in effect controlling the public policy agenda. Therefore, your choice of representation through voting for a particular platform or party is irrelevant (the example he chose was the former Rae government). What does this imply?

Imagine a future where your children will be in a Burger Kingowned school (already happening in the U.S.). There will be two-tiered (or more) medical services, which means that for those of us who manage to land good-paying jobs there will be a high-quality health care sentice, but what is in store for those of us who do not? If we become discontented with public policy, whom will we lobby? Although many of us are frustrated at the lack of our ability to influence our governmenr, imagine how difficult it would be to make our voices heard in corporate boardrooms where these decisions are made. Perhaps Tony Clarke is right in his assertion that this is now the reality and that is why Premier Harris is not listening to the people of Ontario. Whatcan be doneaboutthis?

would be to halve in that order. Since tobacco plants have one more chromosome than humans do, he claimed, scientists think they must be one step further evolved. He scoffed at scientists as not being able to tell the difference between a tree and a possum because they both had 22 chromosomes! Why is this man so afraid of the truth that he must make up absurd stories about scientists in general in order to ridicule them?

Wb ist&smansoufraidufthem&4 ihzt de mustihwten studGnts lilvii4 bodilyhum tugmha tostopspeding? Hovind declared that “there is no evidence at all for evolution. Zero.” This is a plainly false statement. What I object to are the dishonest tactics with which Hovind Clarke urges people to take our democratic rights and responsibilities. The first step in the process is to become more informed on the issues, make your own decisions, and then become involved. A golden opportunity awaits you to gain an understanding of these issues and more. Ten Days for Global Justice is holding a panel discussion of the Multilateral Agreement on Investment (MAI) during the first week of November. The MA1 is designed to benefit transnational corporations. Many argue that it may very well paralyze state autonomy, increase the gap between thevery rich and the very poor, and make the citizens’ electoral voice practically obsolete. Proponents argue that giving corporations more power and freedom will increase trade and ultimately increase employment opportunities so that we will all be wealthier. Which side is right? Your local Ten Days Committee have invited representation from both sides of the debate so that you wilf have an opportunity to make your own decisions on this debate. For more information, please contact Bernice Kozak (884-47 18) or Dave Augustyn (8848111, ext. 230).

Iesus saves tries to convince people. When he justifies his tactics by appealing to his Christian God, he makes a mockery of Christianity. Hovind Jeaves no room for testing claims with one’s own mind and hands. The ultimate challenge is to ask him to describe a scientific experiment where physical measurements enable one to calculate an age of 6000 years for the earth. When so questioned at the end of his lecture, he was unable to provide any such example.

Kent Hovind teaches the young people in his audience not to seek the truth. Because of people like him, the spread of ignorance is far’greater than you can imagine. Beware of his kind! In this world where each of us must fight the battle against ignorance and deception, Hovind is an enemy of science. He makes me ashamed to be a member of the same species,




by Lauren Craig Stephen


hey say you can prove anything with statistics. If it were true, they would have no value and I’d be using this space to “prove” that 90% of Canadians are closet queers. Certainly, though, facts and figures can be manipulated to tell a deceptive story. For example, in about 9% of reported rape cases the victim is a man, yet only about 3% of the male population is gay. Anti-gay groups use these figures to claim that gay men are three times more likely to rape than straight men, perpetuating the myth of the gay sexual predator. What these statistics don’t tell, and what anti-gay groups don’t want you to know, is that the vast majority of “homosexual” rape is actually committed by heterosexuals. A recent study of sex offenders, conducted by Nicholas Groth and Ann Burgess, found that in only 7% of same-sex rape cases was the offender actually gay. The rapists studied were usually indiscriminate in regards to the sex or age of their victims, and rather chose them based on their accessibility. Most of the offend-

ers were heterosexual in their consensual relationships, and many of them expressed revulsion at the idea of consenting sex between men. All of this supports a widely held view that rape is an act of aggression, not of sexual desire. These rapists chose their victims for no otherreason than because they were at hand and vulnerable. In their study, Groth and Burgess dispel the myth of the gay rapist, concluding that gays are less likely to rape than straights. If we take the view that rape is an act of aggression, then this study is consistent with others which have found gay men to be generally less violent (and less criminal) than heterosexual men. Unfortunately for gay men, not only are we often blamed as a group for a crime we are less likely to commit, but in some ways we are more likely to be the victims of that crime. Gay prisoners are often the target of gang rape, and gay bashers commonly rape their victims. However, since these are acts ofcontempt and subjugation, the rapists aren’t considered gay by society or themselves.

This article could save your life The “ultra-cool” new field of cryonics

by Ka-Ping Yee special to Imprint


ith the rush ofadvances in technology these days, it’s easy to get overwhelmed. So much happens each month that people rarely step back to look at the long term. For many, the “future” means one, two, or perhaps five years from now. What if we look at the span of our expected lifetimes, on the scale of fifty years forward? Can we even imagine what the world might be like then? It seems reasonable that many fields of science and technology will continue to advance rapidly. In particular, we will probably live longer, healthier lives in the future, just as today we enjoy much better health and longer life than people did a century ago. Even our definition of “death” has been constantly changing because we are learning how to preserve life better, Today, using techniques such as CPR and defibrillation, we can revive people who would have been confidently declared dead only fifty years ago.

What is Life? How can we define life and death? Although the issue is very cloudy, one clear answer is the “informational” definition: it is a person’s information their memories, experiences, knowledge and behaviour - that constitutes their life. Each person’s actions are governed by his or her brain as it learns, adapts and reacts to the world. The “essence” of a person, so to speak, is the information stored in his or her brain. While this may make some feel uncomfortable, there is nothing unusual about treating the brain as a very complex computing device. It does not necessarily decrease one’s worth to be valued for the information in one’s brain - for that is the ultimate object of love, hatred and communicatlon. So as long as that brain contains its information intact, a person could still be considered potentially alive. Under such a definition, a person would be dead at the point when damage has progressed too far to allow recovery of information from the brain. This can be termed the “information-theoretic definition of death.”





& Conservative

Although we are not too certain how short-term memory is stored, it has been fairly well established that long-term memory is stored in physical structures in the brain. As we gather knowledge, connections between the neurons form and change. Pre-

Welcome to your new home. www.cryocare.orR/ccrpt


serving such structure by freezing then constitutes preserving a life, given the informational definition. This procedure of cooling a body for long-term preservation, known as “cryonic suspension,” was first seriously proposed by Robert Ettinger in his book Tfie Prospect of Immoti~~ly ( 1964). It is illegal to suspend anyone (even if they have a terminal disease) until they are legally pronounced dead, so cryonic suspension is often described as “freezing after death.” But there is good reason to believe that people are not information-theoretically dead for at least another 24 to 48 hours. Although it sounds radical, cryonic suspension is actually a very conservative medical procedure. It is an expression of one of the basic tenets of medicine: “First do no harm.” Which is more cautious: to dispose of a person when you don’t know what else to do, or to sustain them so that the problem can be handled by more qualified people with better equipment? The former option, which most people take today, amounts to betting rzgainst futw-e ttxh2ohgy. But even those in the past who predicted great advances have underestimated our development, such as writers in the 1950s who

on the web - 1

Engines of&e&on by Eric Drexler: The Alcor Life Extension Foundation: Ralph Merkle’s page:

thought that by the year 2000 we would have computers one million times faster than ENIAC. Their predictions were considered absurd in their time, yet today their estimate is already several orders of magnitude too low.

But Does It Work? We already know that cryonits is “successful” in the sense that it: preserves information well. Storage in liquid nitrogen at -196°C is sufficient to maintain structures undamaged for thousands of years. Freezing damage can be greatly reduced by “perfusion,” where the blood is replaced with a substitute (such as glycerol) that doesn’t crystallize and crack when cooled. In experiments, dogs have survived with memory intact and no measurable damage after having their blood washed out with perfusate, being cooled to 2°C for several hours of complete inactivity, and having their blood replaced. So the key is the ability to repair tissue damage caused by freezing and thawing. The advent of nanotechnology will make this possible. As defined earlier in Imprint Science [ 19/Sept/47], nanotechnology is the design of machinery at the molecular level (for a more elaborate description of nanotechnology and its applications, see Engines of Ct-edon by Eric Drexler). Already, we can move individual atoms; when we learn to

build complex machines from the atom up, we will have powerful tools for cellular repair. Such repair machines could travel through a suspended body, removing the perfusate and healing broken connections. They would also continue repairs on animate people to keep them young and healthy. The future possibilities for rapid developments in nanotechnology make reanimation more plausible and cryonics sensible today. An Important Decision Naturally, it’s costly to perform the suspension and preserve someone in liquid nitrogen indefinitely. Most people who sign up for cryonics take out a life insurance policy, with their cryonics organization as the beneficiary, so the money is available when it is needed. Especially when you are young, life insurance can be quite inexpensive. Alcor, the largest cryonics organization, has 486 members and 35 in suspension. Eric Drexler and Marvin Minsky publicly announced their cryonics memberships at a conference in the summer. I also signed up with Alcor this past summer. I wear a bracelet on my right wrist that instructs medical personnel to call Alcor and prepare my body for the suspension procedure in case of death. In addition to the life insurante, I pay a membership fee to

Alcor so they can keep emergency teams on alert to fly out quickly to suspend patients. Taking both together, I only pay about $27 a month (that’s cheaper than cable), which I consider a pretty small price to pay for another chance at life. Your decision about whether to register for cryonics should be a weighing of this cost against the expected value of an extended life. Even if the chances of reanimation are small, the gains are large and the costs are minimal. If you do decide to sign up, don’t takes a bit wait - the paperwork of effort, and insurance gets more expensive as time passes. To fmd out more about cryonics, you can visit Alcor’s website or call them at l-800-367-2228. You are also very welcome to write me ( if you have any questions.

Why 1 Signed Up I signed up for cryonics because I love being alive, and I see the future as the greatest adventure of all. Since the most important things we have are our lives, even a small chance to hold onto our precious lives is better than certain death. I know that taking action to save the people I cherish is right, and it is vastly greater than helpless inaction. The realization that we are not under an inescapable death sentence frees me and lets me take more joy in my life. I invite you to join me.

Beyond a shadow of a doubt Learning the ropes of stage management at Stratford by Ali Smith Imprint staff

With this in mind, I embarked on my job shadowing experience, following the stage manager at Stratford’s production of The best thing about job shadowing is that you see the job as it really is. Unlike the descriptions you read or hear about, you



t’s a long way from the tiny, cluttered backstage of a high school auditorium to the hightech stage management booth of the Festival Theatre in Stratford. Physically, the two theatres are only about an hour’s drive from one another, but in every other aspect, they’re worlds apart. I began my theatre career at age four, performing in musicals. At school, I continued to be involved in performance until my last year of high school, when I got my first taste of the production side of things as the stage manager of our theatre company. I discovered, much to my delight, that stage management was the aspect of theatre that I most enjoyed. This was a career that was at the heart of the theatre, yet required the organizational and people skilts of a manager. This, I decided, was for me. It seemed all fine and well to make this decision, until it was pointed out to me that I had based it solely on my experiences with amateur theatre. If I was going to spend a lot of time, money and effort towards becoming a professional, I had to have some idea of what the professional job entailed.

of the best dancers twists his knee and is unable to dance.This leaves only five minutes to get the understudy into costume, find the girls with whom he is to dance, rehearse the dance and work out whether or not they can go through with all of the lifts origi-

Calling tie cues: everything you need to run the show. photo

get the chance to go through the events of the day as they happen. For example, it’s one thing to hear that the stage manager is responsible for emergency decisions. It’s an entirely different matter to be right there when one

by All Smith


choreographed. From the audience, you wouldn’t have noticed a thing. From the stage management booth, however, I spent an anxious five minutes worrying about the dancer, while the stage man-

ager was amazingly calm. The other aspect of professional theatre to which I was unaccustomed was the length of time that a show runs. In amateur theatre, a show may run for three or four shows, a week at the most. However, the show that I attended was the sixty-ninth of the season. This meant that most of the bugs had been worked out of the system by the time I arrived on the scene. Also, because everyone there is a professional, the production runs like a well-oiled machine. When something goes awry, no one freaks out and starts screaming over the headset. Instead, everyone does what needs to be done and trusts that everyone else will do the same. .‘, Aside from getting to see a great play for free, I found my day as a shadow to be hugely beneficial, Seeing how things are done in the professional realm allowed me to confirm my suspicion that I wanted a career in stage management, as well as giving me a standard of excellence to aim for. If you are unsure as to whether or not you want to pursue a particular career, there’s no better way to decide than by spending a day in that profession. Banish your doubts by becoming a shadow.

The view from between by Jude BiIIard special to Imprint up, it’s a view from down east. Newfoundland, to be A precise. I just wanted to write a few of my thoughts about the “culture shock” I had experienced so far here in Waterloo. I screeched in here about mid-August, and boy, was it hot!

taken an apartment, it was a whole new kettle of fish. This was to be my home for the next couple of years, so I guessed I should set about finding everything. My first stop was the grocery store to pick up some fixings for dinner the next day. Boy, was I in for a surprise at the local Zehr’s. Prices were definitely lower, that’s for sure, but where’s the salt beef, and what exactly is that stuff they’ve got wrapped up and

a rock

here: and a hot place

labeied “cod”? It looked like old bait Uncle CyriI threw out of the lobster traps last month. However, to be kind, the selection of meats was a sight to behold. Coming from the tiny outport of Grand Bruit (population 40) on the sparsely populated southwest coast, the choice was whether I wanted a beef roast

live among so many strangers. A big thing to me was passing strangers on the street without a greeting. At home, even in the larger towns or cities, most everyone acknowledged you with a nod, smile or greeting of some sort. In Grand Bruit, it was usually a reference to the weather, like “Fine day, eh?“; “Fog is some thick,

this weekor next week, not which cut I preferred! Somehow, though, I made it through and lugged my groceries home. The following week I spent tramping around the campus, getting my Watcard (whocard?), finding my classrooms -all the usual get-to-know-your-campus stuff. Coming from a tiny outporr that I have spent the last 12 years in, it was quite an adjustment to

isn’t it?“; or at least a LLyes sir/yes ma’am,” however, here in Waterloo, I was met by silence. During my first week here, I greeted several people and was met with a startled look by some and by others with a suspicious frown - nothing at all. After a week with no satisfactory replies, I gave up. If I was to fit in here at all, I had to give up my own urge to be so friendly. It just isn’t done

here, not with strangers anyhow. What really gave me the chuckles was when people picked up on my accent (what accent!?) and then proceed to tell me that they know someone from Newfoundland and asked me if I knew them. Sure I do. Newfoundland isn’t that big. I’m only a twelvehour drive or a three-hour ferry ride from St. john’s. Of course I

tioning is when people mistake my accent for one from the southern United States. I may be from far away, but not in that direction! Well, that’s it for me. I hope to meet more students from down east and perhaps we can all chat about home. In the meantime, I’ll be busy getting used to everything in the big city and keeping an eye out for someone who knows that a grump doesn’t always refer to a cranky person.





17, 1997


Voicesfromthe starsin the basement by Andrea Imprint


Schmidt mystic




_, Your enthusiastic and impetuous nature continues to both

always meacool. Eat your lentils.

d2nuqYuneZf words

of Oscar

when we are good always happy.”

we are not

This week, your strong and ruminant nature will be of exceptional comfort to your roommates.

beside Waterloo Park. Lie face up on the tracks under the train and count to ten. Can you do it? 4Thi?kli (Mffy 21 - June 20) I la, HA!! &minis have already done the train. Because

Imprint vou

it was still


Your sign is unique in that it is ruled by the Moon. Gentle and intuitive Cancer people, gather round so we can dance by the light of the mpon. But, don’t for-

lunacy gets worse at the full moon, so maybe we should skip the dance (warn your friends before you go out this weekend). Lao (July 23 - Aug. 22) Grfrrrr. . . Even though you’re usually full of yourself (don’t preyou’re also mber: peruest for the perfectionism tells us that n ng we ever

Virgo (Aug. 23 - Sejt. 22) Despite your keen intelligence and earth-bound sensibilities, you can’t fool me. This week, you’re destined r- for ,.- at least one

heed Albert Einstein when he says that imagination is more important than knowledge. Labra (Sept. 23 - Oct. 22) Do you ever say no? Everybody loves a Libra because you’re so damn wonderful and non-con-

phone. Isn’t day? Don’t

it time for a “you” feel guilty about

throwing the phone into the recycling box and picking a vice.

some of your ceremonial hankerings, check as to whether or not they still have good meaning for you.

Sao-tgio (Uct. 23 - Nov. 21) You had best be staying out of trouble this week. Did you re tradition? And you’re I mean, your ’ nd family members will Bd you when their pet goldfish dies.

Aqzuhus (Jun. 20 - Feb. 18) You, my friend, will someday rule the world. Your ability to succumb to wild abandon, combined with your common sense

rabbit turtlelike your there

sagitcati (Mm 22 - Dec. ;?I) I love Sagittariuses. This

Popular books say that Pisceans are a bunch ofwool-garherers (at least you’ll be warm this

Capriaom (Dec. 22 - Jan. 19) Capricorn, you’re such a goat! According to some, Capricorns




you engage

that &&&$8&&o outrace a It lost. Right now you’re the rabbit. Look down at books right now and see if are any shelled-animals.

efit from a relaxing bubble because (no offense) you’re tle stinky from the sheep.


quiz: How well do






by Amber Neumann, Kimberly Eilig and Rachel E. Beattie Imprint staff Find out what your boiling is in this week’s fun quiz.

do will be good enough. And you’re so good at everything you do! Take at least one scary risk this week.


I) When something doesn’t go your wlay, the first colour that flas/les in fronl of your eyes is: a) red: you’re really mad but you know you’re probably overreacting. b).blue: you feel loving, calming waves of cosmic energy envelope your aura. c) black, purple and green: the colour of the bruises that will appear on the next person who gets your way. 2) When you ari served the wrong dish at n restaur~nf you: a} politely send it back and ask for the proper dish. b) ask the waiter if he is having trouble communicating with his inner child. Before he can possibly get your order right he must begin the healing process. c) demand to speak to the owner and when informed she’s out of town, take your uzi and show them your version of tossed salad. 3) CVhen your ftimdjindy riYi!ims yourfmout%Z CD looking IiRe his cut used it us a dance floor, you: a) figure it’s only fair because your dog chewed up his favourite 8track of “Disco rnferno “. b) take a deep breath and count from 10 to 1 feeling the hostile tension flow from your body. c> hunt him down, rip off his arm and beat him with the soggy end.

4) CVhet2you im ut a socidj%nctiun midyou see someone weming exacrly L&e same 5hI’ti us you are, you: a) think, “it looks better on me,” and realize everyone will agree. b) assume you telepathically communicated and agreed on the shirt that would best suit the psychic vibrations of the room you are in. c) pounce on the beast, tear the shirt to shreds and then claw her face off,

Mostly T’s A little psycho, aren,t we?Just how many times have you seen N~turulBom KiLlen? Haven’t you ever wondered why people cross the street to avoid you? Get thee to an insane asylum.

5) You receive an F- un an essuy you speni b-b-ee solid weeks writl’ng, you: a) think, “bite me you bastard,” and then out loud ask how you can improve for the next essay. b) assume the planets were not aligned in the right way when you wrote the essay and resolve to consult the stars before your next essay is due. c) demand your mark be changed and when your prof refuses stab her in the jugular with your brand new calligraphy pen.



Don’t repress your anger. If you don’t learn to let off some steam you will have ulcers by age 37. Are you some kind of wimp? Yeah, that’s it. You’re just too afraid to stand up for yourself. Get thee to an insane asylum.



You must feel like a cannibal when you eat Corn Flakes. Even JoJo would think you are a doughhead. It’s time to let your anger flow, let it take over your defenses. Join the dark side. Or just get thee to an insane asylum.














bath a lit-


Imprint Sex Survey Tell us what you want, what you really, really want

FThe purpose of the Imprint Sex Survey is to gather information about the sexual activities and attitudes 1 of Uw students. It has been complied by the eager and attentive minds of many Imprint staff members, with assistance from the i!Xe Urrisejc, Omnksext/aZ Purity 2%. The results of the survey will be published in the October 31 issue ofIxnprint, as part of a special sex supplement. That’s right folks, we will be providing pages and pages of sex-related information.You heard it here first. The rules are simple. Fill in the blanks in theG~e~~lSexa~e~tiotrssection* In theHmeyoum&:.. section, place a check mark in the box next to any question to which you can answer affirmatively. We wish to stress that the survey is anonymous and completely voluntary. When you have completed the survey (you know you want to), leave it in the drop-box provided at the Turnkey Desk in the Student Life Centre. We promise no one will laugh at you. We like talking about it and we know you do too. Don’t lie to us. Future generations web page at http:// are counting on you. An onhne version of this survey is available on the Imprint imprint,, and can be sumbitted on-Line.

General sex questions 1. Are you heterosexual/homosexual/bisexual/asexual/nonsexual?


one. Or two.)

2. Are you male or female? 3. What

do you find most attractive

4. Do your parents forms

6. How

old were you when

7. How

long has it been since

8. How


of birth


do you think

9. Are you currently many


11. How



the weirdest

you are?

you lost your virginity?


have you had sex with? do you typically place you’ve




sex in your parent’s

UHad intercourse with more than one person at the same time?



Cl Given

OWorn a costume (cowboy hat, French Maid’s outfit) to enhance foreplay?

oral sex?

0 Received

oral sex?

OPerformed yourself?

oral sex on


anal sex?



0 Used venge/for

sex as a weapon/for sympathy?

0 Done

it doggy


an orgasm?




LlUsed ones?

to someone? Guess

if you can’t



have in a week?

sex toys?

0 Fantasized about someone other than your partner while engaged in any sexual activity? ClFound

a ‘G’ spot?

0 Faked

an orgasm?

sex while



aWatched PGiven sex?




have sex (apart

OHad sex with someone name you didn’t know? OHad sex with friend/boyfriend?


in exchange



OHad your sexual technique openly praised/cri ticized by someone? Circle one or both. 0 Said the name of someone other than your partner during sex?

to get someone

into bed? dirty


U Used food (whipped cream, hot dogs, corn flakes) during sex? Please list:

Deskjet400, 500 series DeskWriter /c/500 series DesimJet 200/220/600 !lflieJet & selectid Fax series

$36.99 reg. $39.99

DeskJet 600 Series Deskwriter 600 series

$37.99 reg. $40.99

*Offer expires Ott ober 31, 1997.


If yes,

OHad sex while under the influence of alcohol or drugs? OHad sex while not under the influence of alcohol or drugs?


$27.99 reg. $30.99


UW Computer Store


Student Life Centre,

Math & Computer

Lower Level. 8884567, ext. 6187

Room 2018 8884567, ext. 3518

Bookstore, SCH 888-4567, ext. 225 f Mon. - Fri. 8:30 - 5:30

Mon. - Fri. 9 - 3.

Mon. - Fri. 9 - 5.

Sat. 12 - 4.


QHad a one-night did you regret it?

q Been caught If yes, by whom?





them animal

If yes, which

Canon Be-02 Inkjet Cartridge fur models:


OPracticed transvestisism/sadism/masochism/necrophilia/ please other? If other, specify:


Cartridge for models:

a friend’s

in exchange

OTold someone you loved to get them into bed?

HP 51629A Inkjet



0 Received for sex? OLied

ODisturbed other people with excessive noise during sex?


If yes, which

OWatched others from porn films)?



Curtridge for models:

injury one)?


in mutual

0 Video sex?

ever had sex?

HP 51626A Inkjet



Been injured/inflicted while having sex (circle





OEngaged tion?

sex? to/married

sex with


you last had sex?

13. Are you able to ask for what you want during size really



Cl Had sex on the Internet tual Sex)?


have you used?


IO. How

14. Does


have any idea how sexually

5. What

12. What’s

in a potential

Have dvou ever. . .


noises during ones?


sexwithout using a method of protection against STDs?


Cl Picked bar?



OExperimented outside usual sexual preferences?

up in a

of your

OHad sex with someone where there was an age difference of more than 20 years? DHad sex for more than hours in a single session?


FormerBlueJaypitcher Luis Lea1 onceshotaman,just to watch him die.

Warriors smack Mat Smith, Wilkinson both find the end zone twice

Warrior quarterback RyanWilkinson eludes the Maruader safety as he jogs to a first down. photo

by Greg Imprint


Picken staff

McMaster Marauders are not a good football team, Everyone in the OUA knows that. Everyone in the university football community knows


that. Heck, everyone that. So, you have

in the English-speakingworld to take the 43-7 thumping


that the Warriors inflicted on them this past weekend with a grain of salt.

Stop me if you’ve heard this one before, but the dominated on the ground. This time, against a sieve-like Mat defense. the various Waterloo backs put up a whopping 454 yards in rushing yardage, highlighted by Jarrett Smith’s 199yardsand two touchdowns, He also busted off a 75yard dash that led to Warriors

by Greg Plcken

rusher, breaking the old record of 3437 yards. The defense was stellar, limiting McMaster to only one touchdown. Defensive backs Maine Bell and Jason Tibbits led the pass coverage, with each snagging a pass from Mat quarterback l3en Chapdelain. The front seven kept the Marauder running game in check, smothering the McRunning backs on many crucial plays. One of the best signs on the day was that the Warriors

won the game of field position. They consistently pinned the Marauders deep in their own zone, which resulted in the Warriors starting their drives around the mid-field mark. Against a better team, good field position might just Drove to be the differmind as the Warriors look ahead to the approaching playoffs. Everything was going the Warriors’ way on Saturday; nothing exemplified this more than the point-after attempt on Gibson’s final touchdown. The snap was bad, Wilkinson laid out trying to catch it, Bigos picked it up,


his second TD. Eddie Kim made a triumphant return to heavy use at fullback, racking up 85 yards on five carries. QB Ryan Wilkinson

cding the baseball playoffs fQr NBC, and you know what? He’s still an idiot. ~

ran in two TDs,

and Doug




yards of his own. Third-string fullback Paul Gibson rumbled for a 33-yard TD in the dying moments of the game on only his second carry of the season. Smith’s two scores moved him past former star running backs Mike Malott and Tom Chartier as the all-time touchdown leader at Waterloo with 20. With two regular season games and the playoffs to go, Smith needs only 71 yards to surpass Chartier as the school’s all-time leading


it to Wilkinson,



it to Chris



the three yard line, and s~uzu~~t two-point conversion. This team just could not screw up this wec;kend, to the dismay of the Marauders. Next up, the Warriors play their second ‘*road” game against the Laurier Golden Hawks at University Stadium. So, you don’t get in free, but you can still go to the game. You should go to the game. God damn it, you will go to the game and I don’t want to hear any excuses.



Friday, October 17, 1997

Athena-scloseon secondplace Field hockev prepares for undefeated U of T J

by Charlotte Morrison special to Imprint


Darryl Rolfe

Heather Fitzgerald

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The Kawartha Centre for lntemrative Health Education

ast Thanksgiving weekend, the Athena Field Hockey team faced three of the strongest teams in the league: the Guelph Gryphons, the Western Mustangs, and the University of Toronto Blues. The Athenas played a hungry Guelph squad first. Riding the high of tying the second-place team in Canada, Guelph rolled into Waterloo looking to pass the Athenas in the standing. It was a hard-fought game against the much improved Gryphons, whom Waterloo defeated 4-l earlier in the season. It was not until the end of the first half that Waterloo was able to score. Carolyn Stark took advantage of Guelph’s inability to get the ball out of the circle for a goal. In the second half, both squads turned it up. Waterloo defended both the lead and goaltender Leslie Alexander, who



posted her eighth shutout of the season. This was not an easy task for Sarah Creighton, Sam Berger and this weeks Athlete of the Week Bernice Willemse, as Guelph is the second highest scoring team in the league. Irene McConville had the toughest job of any of our defendersto shut down the leading scorer in the league. Saturday morning, Waterloo faced a healthy and rested York squad in Toronto. With all their players back in good health, York squeaked out a 1-O win. It was not a flawless game for Waterloo. Next up was Western. Going into Tuesday’s game, Western had a three point lead on Waterloo. A win would have virtually clinched second place for Western, who are having their best season ever. The Athenas played their best game of the season, but so did Western. The first half of the game was scoreless. In the second half, Lucie Charron put the ball past a

One tourney win, one tourney loss d


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bewildered Western goalie on a well executed penalty corner. Joanne Fernandes pushed out the ball quickly, Amy Adair stopped in dead, Berger got away a beautiful shot and Charron got not only that rebound, but also her ownthe shot that finally put a marker on the scoreboard. Western did not give up. A minute and a half later, Waterloo bombarded the net with shots, and Bernice Willemse’s went in. Waterloo was up 2 points, but Western pressed the Athenas right up to the last whistle. With only three games left in the season, Waterloo is only one point out of second place. Friday, Waterloo will face the undefeated University of Toronto Blues. Beating the University of Toronto is more than just two points to Waterloo; they lost a heart-breaking game to U of T in Ottawa, but if they played with as much intensity and teamwork as they did on Tuesday, Toronto can and will be defeated.

by Jeff Stewart special to Imprint


he Warriors hockey team came home with their second consecutive York Invitational tournament on &tober fourth and fifth. University of Toronto provided the opposition in the first game and the Warriors defeated the Blues 4-2. Mike . Devereaux was the Warriors’ MVP of the game, scoring two goals, including the winner. Rookie Mike Murphy and senior defenseman Greg Fullerton rounded out the scoring+ On Sunday, the Warriors faced the York Yeomen who had soundly defeated Brock on the previous day. The unit of Mike Chambers, Jeff Goldie and David Pfohl provided the offensive spark

for the Warriors, defeating York 6-3. Pfohl and game MVP Mike Chambers, had two goals each, with Murphy and Dan Mundell adding singles. The Warriors’ three power play goals proved to be the difference in the Waterloo victory. The Waterloo Warriors were not celebrating Thanksgiving this past weekend. The team travelled to Bowling Green, Ohio, on Friday and lost 9-2 to the Falcons. The score was 3-2 at the mid-point of the third period. The Warriors, after falling behind 3-0 early in the game, saw goals from Mike Murphy in the second period and Joel Wednrayer in the third period to put a scare into the Falcons. However, in less than six minutes, Bowling Green scored six

goals to make the game seem like a blow-out. Warrior goalies Joe Harris and Ryan Warren played well, and could not be held at fault on many of the goals. On Saturday’ night, the Warriors played the fourth-ranked Miami Redhawks. A costly fiveminute penalty, two minutes into the game, resulted in four power play goals for Miami’s talented team. At the end of the of the first period the score was 6-1, and the Warriors eventually lost 1O-Z; Miami had eight power play goals. Scoring for the Warriors were Mike Chambers and Aaron Kenney. The Warriors are now preparing for the Oktoberfest Tournament from October 17 to 19. Come out and see the Warriors!

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Athletes of the week L


TEAM Toronto Western W&O0 Guelph

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DIV. I Wescem Queen’s McMaster Guelph York Laurier DIV. II W&d00 Toronto Carleton RMC Brock Trent

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Oct. 9

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3 20 6 Oct. 24 5 22

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GPWLT F ATP EAST Toronto 11 8 I228 626 Queen’s 10 7 1 2 29 14 23 York 11 6 3 2 23 10 20 Laurentian 10 5 1 4 25 12 19 Carleton 10 3 7 0 17 19 9 Ryerson 10 2 8 0 14 38 6 Trent 10 0 10 0 5 42 0 WEST Western MC-Master Windsor Laurier bock WA Guelph

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Stephen Drew Warrior Cross Country 1. Guelph Gryphons 2. Western Mustangs 3. Ottawa Gee Gees


4. SC.Francis Xavier X-Men EAST Ottawa York Queen’s Toronto Carleton Trent Ryerson

GPWLT 1010 0 11 7 2 10 5 4 11 4 5 10 3 5 10 3 6 10 0 10


8 M&laster

11 Ottawa

2 0 1 0 0 1 0 2 0

Willemse stood out for the Athenas on the weekend in a 1-O win over Guelph and a 1-O loss to York. A fourth year Kinesiology student from Parkhill, Willemse suffered a partially-dislocated shoulder earlierlastweek butshowed no ill-effects in weekend play. Willemse was a second-teamAll-Canadian last season.

10 3 4 3 15 15 12 9 3 4 2 11 9 11



Bernice Willemse Athena Field Hockey

GPWLT F ATP 9 6 0 3 19 5 21 10 5 3 2 12 9 17

Western Guelph


F ATP 0 34 1 30 219 923 1 20 10 16 2 11 16 14 2 I1 15 11 1 12 20 10 0 1 37 0

5. York Yeomen 6. Mount Allison Mount& 7. Saskatchewan Huskies 8. wmRLmwmoRs 9. UBC Thunderbirds 10. Concordia Stingers

A second-year Environmental Studies student, Drew placed 12th overall, leading the Warriors to a strong second-place team finish at the Western Open cross country meet on Friday. An Qshawa native, Drew ran the 6 km course in 1916.

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Heavy Fookid metal Foo fighters rock the dance out of the Lmc J


Fm Fighters w/talk show and treble charger thELyric October

14, 1997

by Scott Imprint

Preston staff


olling through K-W last Tuesday was the second biggest concert that this area has seen since the last Blur show at the Lyric, and judging by the large turnout for this show, that it won’t be the last big show coming through. Foofest consisted of three bands, each in different stages of their careers, Foo Fighters, who are still rising in popularity, Talk show, who are deklining, and treble charger who just won’t seem to go away. The majority of the crowd were there to see the Foos, with a few others trying to hold on to the last scraps that they have of the Stone Temple Pilots. treble charger kicked off the night, and played a predictable number of songs, and capping it off with “red.” Is there any formula of their set list that doesn’t involve playing “red” at the end of it? That would probably throw

off the whole chemistry of the band, however, so it wouldn’t work. Maybe it was the “new” version of the song. Who cares. Next on the bill: talk show. The band claiming that it is a totally separate band from the Stone Temple Pilots, just an old side project, who happened to put out an album. Now this side project has become a totally new band. More like they just found some guy who could sing like Scott Weiland, and hired him to be a non-heroin abusing lead singer. Many were there wearing STP shirts, hoping that this band would be like their old one, maybe even looking forward to hearing a few of the old numbers. Not on this night. This band hadabsolutelyzero energy on stage, boring the crowd with sluggish grunge-laden guitar rock. Nobody seemed to notice that three songs had passed by the time the lead singer said “here’s a song you may have heard on the radio,” breaking into their “debut” single “Hello, hello.” The only song that anyone knew was a cover ofProdigy’s “breathe,” which got the moshers up front moving. Once this moment of sun-

Rockin harder than D&ken. photo by Peter Lenardon shine was over, it was back to boring grunge played by a band who were really outdone on this night. They couldn’t even muster more than polite applause af-

ter saying “We want to thank treble charger.” The easy way to get applause, thanking the popular Canadian band, but not easy for talk show. A definite sign of a band hurting for approval. They ended their set with a definite way to get applause, they played the end of “trippin on a hole in a paper heart” midway through their last talk show song. The applause this generated was partly because they were finally leaving the stage. Once the crowd had become completely bored, it was time for them to be brought out of their state by the headliners. The lights dimmed, and the Foo Fighters appeared on stage, but with not one drummer, but two! Dave Grohl was pounding the skins along side present drummer Taylor Hawkins, for an extended intro to “This is a call.” Once he had finished giving a lesson in power drumming, it was time to rock. Since Pat Smear’s departure from the band, the live dynamic of the band has changed. With Pat in the band, he used to provide some of the stage theatrics, sharing the spotlight with Dave. The recent additionof FranzStahl as Pat’s replacement has seen the

entire spotlight shift to the lead singer. Franz strums away on his guitar with little movement, while Dave jumps around like he’s a man possessed, occasionally jumping behind his drum kit as well, Taylor and Nate Mendel, the bassist, provide a steady rhythm section, while drawing little attention to themselves, letting Dave have the spotlight. And deservatively so. The band worked their way through most of their new album, mixing in selected numbers from their debut as well. Outstanding songs included “Monkey wrench,” YJp in arms,” “Alone+easy target,” and their latest single “Everlong.” Before they launched into “Weenie beenie,” Dave announced that this song was “heavy fucking metal.” A few notable omissions were “Oh, George,” and the eerily trippy *‘Exhausted.” The token encore consisted of a cover of Gary Numan’s “Down in the Park,” and the closer, “I’ll stick around.” By this iime, the mosh pit could rock no longer, as the band had delivered them the knockout blow. The capacity crowd had been treated to a full serving of Foo. Not bad for a drummer band.

A Prescription of Jazz Just what the doctor ordered One Step Beyond wl Jazz Pharmacy The Bombshelter



by Kaleb Nestrop special to Imprint


s the lights dimmed and most of the glassy-eyed hipsters aimed their dilated pupils towards the stage, One Step Beyond and their opening act the Jazz pharmacyboth proceeded to take their music styles one step further. Theopeninggct got the party started with their own peculiar blend of traditonal jazz, reggae, rap and electronica. They were unknown to most people in attendance, but at the end of their set they had definitely gained more than a few fans from the crowd, judging by the applause that they received upon leaving the stage. The experimental aspects of their music proved highly amusing; the singer/keyboardist’s schzophrenic vocal style left many

people wondering if he’d forgotten to take his medication. One step beyond, on the other hand, have created a buzz by creating sweet sounds, and on this night the band did not disappoint first-time listeners who attended, or regular fans. Last year’s performance at the Bomber suffered from poor attendance, so it was nice to see so many out to witness these guys tear the roof off. Their groove-laden, mambo jazz funk hybrid consumed the audience and within minutes the front of the stage was filled with people shaking their proverbial rumps. The band, consisting of Bryden Baird on trumpet, David Gouvied on auxiliary percussion, Sandy Mamane on bass; Corey Manders on sax, Andy Scott on

sumed the entire stage. All the musicians knew how to capture a moment within a groove and hold onto it, captivating the crowd while having a damn good time at it. Andy Scott’s incredible Wes Montgomery and Grant Green influenced guitar solos were especially notable. He has created his own style, based on his mastery of both jazz and mamba styles, giving him a strong technical performance every time that he graces the stage. The entire show was well worth the six dollar entry fee. From Jamie Shield’s mind-numbing hammond organ solos to his exceptional moog skills, he performed with expression and feel that was unparalleled. One Step Beyond quite sim-

guitar, Jamie Shields


on keyboards

and Dean Store on percussion, have an incredible awareness of what, musically, is going on around them. Trading solos back and forth, they fed off each other’s strengths and the coilective energy that con-


the music



realm. Even though the set was somewhat short on this occasion, it was good to have an extra hour or so to let the adrenaline rush diminish before bed time, allowing us to rest our heads and have a lucid night of mambo dreams.

These guys rocked in ninety degrees last summer. It was just as hot in the dank pit, otherwise known as the Bomber. photo

by kb

Van Kruistum








Sex, sex, sex Safe Sex

Wdlhm E&r hogan Fourth


by Philip special



McCuUou& to Imprint


he subtitle / caption to William Edgar Boggan’s book safe &X is “Hacking heaven, fucking hell.” It is a story of ‘&a hero right out of Faulkner” who has set out “to write the Great American Novel,” claims rhe blurb on the back cover; “a coming-of-age love story that builds to a tense computer thriller,” alongwith the usual boarload of orher hyperbolic cliches ehat backcovercopy-writersseem so fond of. However, keeping in mind another clich6 I have heard once or twice about books and covers, I started reading, and was pleasantly surprised. The story is told from the point of view of Wiley Jones, a would-be author by night who pays the bills by working for Brackett Data, writing reviews of AIDS research reports. Brackett Data is owned by Matt Brackett, a racist, homo-xenophobic, guntoting, ultra-conservative businessman. In parasitic fashion, he uses the profits from the company’s AIDS database to support his prosetylization of the American public to his narrow-minded

Weltu~sdatiung. The plotrevolves around Wiley, Brackett, and Alix, Wiley’s neighbour and lover, who happens to be HIV pdsitive. You can probably figure out who the good guys and the bad guys are by yourself. Boggan should be congratulated for attempting to deal with the themes of sex and technology in today’s rapidly changing environment. In fact, one of the best aspects of this novel is the author’s willing, even eager, explorations of situations that could not have taken place a mere twenty years ago, experiences novel to the human condition due to the advent of new technologies and new biologies such as personal computers, and diseases like AIDS, respectively. Wiley is writing his novel on a computer at his apartment butis also able to write while at work using a remote connection. “I wrote, ‘Her nipprRF wem us red us her Aair,’ writing there in my officeless office, telecommuting to my homeless home.” In one especially page-cranking passage Alix, with whom Wiley had sex the night before,-reveals to Wiley that she is HIV positive. Of course, more traditional themes make appearances as well: love, lust (who could have guessed?), revenge and alienation, to name a few.

However, some of the streamof-consciousness accounts of Wiley provides for hismany sexual exploits begin to sound very similar after a while. I sometimes found myself thinking, alright Wiley, enough already, I get it, your cock is hard, you want to taste her, you both come explosively, blah, blah, blah. The only other troubling aspect of &zfi &X is that Boggan seems to lose track of what he started out to write. The bookchanges cone about half-way through, from heavily emphasized character development totechnological plot machinations. For example, Wiley meets Simon English, a black, pot-smoking recluse, who also works at Brackett Data when he first starts his job. English has the potential to be a very interesting character, but is never developed and hardlymentioned after a while. Nevertheless, Boggan makes up for this random shift in focus by making the point of convergence at the end of the novel an intense, nerve-hacking, fetishpacking scenario. Stylistic differences with the beginning of the book are forgotten as the story races towards climax. This modern-day love story is a promising first oeuwrTp from a young author worth watching out for in the future.



Simple music economics

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An arts commentarv to enlighten by Scott Imprint


Preston staff

t is pretty well common knowledge that music is at a stagnation point these days. Just take a listen ro any station that plays the latest “alternative” bands. Matchbox 20, Tonic, Better than Ezra, the Refreshments, and the Verve Pipe are a few who come to mind. Any one of these bands could play songs by rhe other, and no one would know the difference. What do they all share? Sappy lyrics, boring songs, the same instruments, and they actually get played on the radio. How? There is not a complex explanation for this phenomenon, the answer is simple economics, not because every band wants to be a carbon copy of the other. It all started back when Nirvana hit it big. Here was a little band who no one had ever heard of, and after a huge single and tons of airplay, they went on to sell millions of records, thus making a ton of money. This was the first stage of the vicious cycle. One of the first principles learned in economics is that once people notice someone else making money, they enter the marker and provide competition by going after the same market as the originators, thereby making their own

d cash grab. This competition to Nirvana came in the form of the Clone Temple Pilots, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Alice in Chains, Silverchair, Seven Mary Three and a slew of others. Wait a minute! How could I forget the most obvious of all generic notalent poseurs. . *Bush! All of these bands went on to achieve sales figures into the millions, and this was the second stage of a vicious cycle firmly planted in place. These bands opened the door to anyone who ever took music lessons in their life, and implanted the dream that they could make millions, live in luxury, and maybe have a chance to four the world with Lollapalooza! Following this, others took notice, and decided that they would learn how to play a few chords, and write some songs, with the possibility that they could cash in on their piece of the pie. The angst these bands sung about came from such experiences as not getting in to Harvard, not getting a raise in their allowance, and not being able to solve the Caramilk secret. Basically, if your band can write a song, no matter how mundane, it has the possibility of making .money, so you should go out and start a band because, hey, Everclear did it, and they suck!

What people forget, or don’t realize, is that the music industry is a business, just like every other money making enterprise in the world. The music industry is also a business that excels in greed. All bands don’t make music just because it has been their dream ever since they picked up a guitar to play their songs in front of an audience. It’s all about money and fame, and with money comes fame. This explains why so many one-hit wonders have disappeared from the music industry altogether. Like, that band from a couple of years back. Remember, they had that really catchy song? Heavy rotation on Muchmusic and CFNY? Wonder what happened to them? Since they made their money, they were able to cash in and retire happily. Does the name Primitive Radio Gods come to mind? Occasionally, some will try to mount a comeback, trying to cash in on retro popularity. Did Motley Crue make a comeback because they love making really bad songs? I don’t think so. When will this vicious cycle end? When the last guitar band stops making money. But as long as somebody is making money, there will always be someone there to try and steal it away. Hey, I did learn something in Economics lOl!

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17, 1997


Colour your world OrangePie by Mark Imprint

Arts Besz staff


ake a moment to look around you. What do you see? Look down at the floor beneath your feet. And what about the walls and windows or that corner, the one to your left? Did you see anything or was this the first time you actually eyed a wall with interest? The members of QrangePie Arts do this all the time. They want to put interest, perhaps life into the space that you use and see every day. Calf it art, call it interior decorating, OrangePie members just enjoy doing it. The organization was formed at the beginning of the term under the tentative name SubCulture, and is run by a team of fine arts’ students at East Campus Hall. There are apprcximately ten members with a dedicated core group of six. It is also completely volunteer. “We don’t charge anything for our hard work and labour. We just want the

chance to make concrete our ideas in visual context and to do it well.” The only cost involved is for the materials needed and other miscellaneous expenses, which can range from $50 to $300 depending on the amount of materials needed and the size of the piece. OrangePie Arts have their sights directed on the campus and the K-W area. “We can do stainglass windows, mosaics on walls or floors, murals and so forth. We don’t want to restrict ourselves. That is why our name changed from Subculture to OrangePie Arts. Subculture as a name seems to contain and restrain us. . OrangePie is much more broad, receptive and ambiguous. Besides, it brings a smile to everyone who hears of it. What we can offer depends solely on each member and what experience they have.” The most notable contact the team is attempting to make is with the newly-opened Ground Zero restaurant/We are negotiating for a large wal1 and hope to have our mural hanged upon it. Since the theme of Ground Zero

is war (similar to the Bomb Shelter next to it), our piece will contribute to the theme. The mural will be a literary piece as well as a visual one. We hope to incite thoughts of wisdom, ignorance, repentance, hope and compassion through poetry, writings and visual impact. We would like to see our piece gm even after we have fmished as people are welcome to add their personal thoughts and experience with war onto the mural itself.” Future plans? *‘We’d like to do something special to the Fine Arts Lounge. We would also like doing some work for the cafes and departments on and off campus.” OrangePie Arts is supported by the Society of Fine Art Students and plan to register with the Federation of Students in the near future. They meet weekly on Tuesdays at 1230 p.m. in the Fine Arts Building at East Campus Hall in the student lounge. New members are always welcome. If you want more information, you can contact Christine Bu at:

’ Not gettin’ any? Find out October 3 1st why you’re scoring less than the Toronto Maple Leafs. This issueof Imprint delves DEEP into all of the crevasses of your favorite subject. Sex, you idiot! Fill out this week’s sex survey on page 14, and let us know your personalbestsin the sexual Olympics. The first 10 survey respondents win free swag from Pemod. Liberateyourself!

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1 This ad is a coupon for a FREE SIDE SALAD with the purchase of 1 I 1 our Lunch or Dinner Buffet! L---rr--------mm------m--------m,-~



1 Nov 6



in the Square

Yes Waterloo


Massey Stage Theatre





Have a nice time!


Sunday, sappy Sunday by Kathy Grant special to Imprint Diehard Sundays fans may be disappointed in their new album, StaticandSihme. Sure, lead vocalist Harriet Wheeler’s voice is as sweet and ethereal as ever, sending the usual shivers down your spine, but the whole sound of the London-based band has died down a notch. In earlier albums, The Sundays were youthful and poppy. More drums, less acoustic guitar, all around more fun. Static and %‘&ze, on the other hand, is more grown up; it wants to be taken

by Debbra McClintock Imprint staf!f “A refreshing taste of pure Canadian pop,” reads the subtitle of this compilation, featuring 16 independent all-Canadian pop songs. The label is Alert, based out ofToronto and housing the names Holly Cole and Kim Mitchell. But the album reflects a different scene from which either of these two gain their fame. So why the urge to produce Popcan? Alert answers this question on the album’s homepage. “Simply, because this nation is teaming with talent that should be brought to people’s attention.” In an attempt at diversity, the compilation picks up sounds from Vancouver to Halifax, with severai pitstops in Toronto. Although Popcan prides itself on representing what they “consider to be some of the best examples of independent contemporary pop and pop influenced bands this country has to offer,” it is

more seriously. But it achieves the reverse effect. Perhaps it’s the fact that it’s been five years since their last album. In that time, Wheeler and guitarist David Gavurin had a child together. Though popping a kid did not effect Harriet’s fresh, youthful voice, it may have affected the two songwriters’ approach to lyrics. While earlier albums feature light, frequently ironic songs, the new album is more straightforward. They sing about the landscape, dream of each other’s company and seem caught up in clich6. “Summertime” has a good beat and is definitely one of the more energetic songs on the album. They even manage to pull off some tricky-sounding guitar stunts and the occasional trumpet blasts. As a contrast, the song en-

titled “When I’m Thinking of You” does justice to Wheeler’s seemingly effortless vocals. In this song, The Sundays create a nice ballad that could be played at the next wedding you find yourself dragged to. As for the other songs, they pretty much blend into a blur of pleasant but sleepy road trip tunes. Crooning again about “adolescent war” (haven’t we heard this in their lyrics already?), “She” is more like what we’ve come to expect from the band, except they’ve added violins. “Another Flavour” tries to capture an earlier youthfulness, but ends up sounding kind of fake - like a bad karaoke repeat of some onehit wonder. “Leave this City” has a comforting, introspective feel and the words are more bearable. With some badly-placed orchestral additions, the end of the album begins to sound like the music they play in the background of the little-kid sagas on Sesame Street; the listener may envision some kid brushing his teeth and tying his shoes to this music. Clearly, the Sundays would be lost without Wheeler’svoice. She could sing “Row, Row, Row Your Boat” and fans would still buy the album. So, even though Static and Silence was a major disappointment, it will still find a welcome spot in any Sunday fan’s CD collection.

painfully male dominant. Ignoring the plethora of female talent that is obvious nationwide, this album becomes too much of a boys club. What then, does Papcutp contain? Just as the name suggests, it’s full of fizzy pop-rock heard across the basements of Canada, The album sleeve describes the essence of pop as “strong vocals, memorable melodies, hooky choruses and a passion and commitment to what they do.” From bubble gum rawk to good old rock’n’roll, Popcan includes the tried-and-true bands such as Universal Honey and By Divine Right, to the quickly rising Noah’s Arkweld and Crim-

son. The compilation also features Shortfall’s “Drive” and Cool Blue Halo’s “TOO Much Kathleen,” which receive well deserved rotation on MuchMusic. There are some weaker tracks, such as The Nines’ “Ghost Town Sunday,” but they are redeemed by such caffeine-induced pop songs as Cinamon’s “Another Edit.” Interested in winning a copy? Or, rather, are you interested in supporting your country’s independent music scene while learning important trivia facts? Visit Alert Music’s homepage at m,, pull the tab to enter, and enter the Pop Cantest. C’mon everyone, drink up.

largest selection LOCATIONS 385 Fairway

Road S., Kkhener

402 King Street N., Waterloo 415 Hespeler

Road, CambridI)e

23 Wellington

{Canadian Tire Plaza) 89312464

(Between Harvey’s and Burger King) 684-7376 (Across from McDonald’s)

Road E.‘ Guelph


(Across from K.F.C.)

622-7774 823-5341

- Toronto Star

I Rated AA Iw=q0,rml.“r,l SIX SHOWS! Friday, Oct. 17 to Wednesday, Oct. 22l97 ‘1 6 Princess St W waterloo







0 A . -ACURA


5 19-893-9000


by Graham Imprint

II Sat. Oct. 18 12&n-4

Dunn staff

Modus Operandi, the first fulllength release from Photekthe alias of Z-year-old Rupert Parkes - is a spaceship trip though the drum and bass universe. The CD contains tracks from his previous EPs as well as some new material. It wraps around your brain and alternates between showering you with liquid calm and whispering messages of paranoia in your ear. Photek lives in a tense world filled with UFO abductions, Orwellian surveillance and the occasional jazzy groove. Sections of noise and breakbeat trade off with showers of ear-pleasing cool. Though there are no catchy riffs here (you won’t be humming this one in the shower), this is a ways from the club floor; justt4Sabout dancing. Mm?tuOperandi makes several moves towards the lounge, but on the whole stays content with the funky side of the Force. At times (if you look in the right place), you’ll catch sight of Photek’s world: bleepy melodies shooting through an atmospheric sky, while the breakbeat dances underground. It’s drum and bass in space.



by Frank Yang special to Imprint Already the subject of much hype in certain circles, Laura Love’s fourth album and majorlabel debut shows that the buzz is justified. Combining equal parts Ani DiFranco and Me’Shell Ndegeocello with just a dash of Jewel, Laura Love is a fresh and exciting newcomer to the increasingly crowded singer-songwriter field. What sets her apart from her peers is the way in which she fuses her seemingly disparate musical influences into a seamless whole. Love uses her powerful voice and funk-infused bass playing tocombine folk, rock, and world music into a unique groove. Her solo rendition of Nirvana’s

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Friday, October 17, 1997

“Come As You Are” fits comfortably alongside her hoe-down arrangement of “Amazing Grace.” Love’s original compovltions are similarly strong. By refusing to conform to any of the music industry’s preconceived genres, Laura Love has put together an album that defies pigeonholing and wouldn’t appear out of place in any record collection. If Ocroroon is any indication, Love is one of the most exciting new artists to emerge in recent years. Definitely worth checking out.

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Applications for the following scholarships are being accepted during the Fall term. Refer to Section 4 of the Undergraduate Calendar for further criteria. Application forms are available in the Student Awards Offii, 2nd floor, Needles Hall. All Faculties: Dor88n Brisbln Award - interested females entering 4th year in Spring or Fall 1998 in an Honours program in which women are currently under-represented. Deadline: APR 3048 Don Hayes Award - for invoivtiment & contribution to athletics and/or sports therapy. Deadline: JAN XV98 La4s-Waterloo Studunt Exchange Program Award students to contact John Medley, h&ha&al Engineering. Mike MC+SWMemorlat Award - available to 3rd or 4th year based on 8xtracurricular and financial need. Deadline: JAN 9/ga Douglas T. Wright Award - available to all who have participate in a UW international work pkement. Students to apply upon return to full-time study at UW. Deadline: @-i t-7 Faculty of Appkd Haatth Sciencar: Ross and Doris Dlxorr Award - available to all 2nd, 3rd or 4th year for financial need and academic achievement. Deadline: OCT tO/97 Madc FoMor Memorial Award - available to 3rd or 4th year Kinetiology. Deadline: JAN 30198 AndF-r Memorial Award - available to 3rd or 4th year Kinesiokgy. Deadlin8: OCT lo/97 Michael GNner Memorial Scholarship. savailable to 36 Kinesioiogy or Health Studi8S. Deadline: MAR 31/98

Rokt Haworth ScholarshIp - completion of 3rd year in an honours program in resourca management r8lat8d to Park Planning and Management, Recreation, Natural tier&g8 or Outdoor Recreation. Dsadlin8: MAY 28/98 Kate Kenny Memorial Award - available to 3rd or 4th year Kinesioktgy with an interest in rehabilitative mgdiWe. Deadline: OCT 31/97 Warren Larry Mamorial Award - available to 3rd or 4th year Recreation. Deadline: Ott lo/97 RAWCO - available to 2nd, 3rd, or 4th year Recreation and Leisure Studies. Deadline: JAN 3W98 Marion J. Todd Memorial Award -available to 38 Co-op Health Studiis with interest in health-related research. Minimum 75% average required. Deadline: OCT 31/97 Facutty of Arb: Arts Studsnt Union Award - available to all Arts students. Deadline: OCT ’ 31&7 Robin K. BankaIPacloY Award - available to 2AAccountancy Studies (Arts only). Deadline: OCT 15&7 zcordia Club Award - available to 3rd year Regular or Coq Germanic & Slavic. Deadline: JAN 31196 Facutty of Englmng: Andersetn Consulting Scholarship - available to 3B. Deadline: MAR 31/M J.P. BkkalI Found&Ion Burrarks - available to all Chemical stutints. Deadline: OCT IO/97 Canadian Portura and &atlng Centr@ Scholarship available to all. Deadline: OCT 10/97

Envlronmental Scholarship - available to 3rd year Environmentat Chemical. Deadline: MAY 28/98 OPE Foundation Undergraduate Scholarship -available to all 26 & 3B based on extracurricular and marks. Deadline: NOV 28/97 Marcel Pequegnat Scholarship - available to 38 Civil, water resource management students. Deadline: MAY 28/98 Jack Wiseman Award - available to 38 or 4A Civil, Deadline: OCT 31/97


of Environmental


Shelby Ellison Memorial Award - available to 3rd year Planning. Deadline: NOV 28/97 John Geddes Memorial Award - available to ERS, Geography and Planning. Deadline: OCT 31/97 Robert Hawotth Scholarship - available to 38 Park Planning and Mana ement, Recreation, Natural Heritage & Planning, Outdoor Education. Deadline: MAt 30198 Marcel Pequegnat Scholarship - available to 3rd ear Environment & Resource Studies, Planning, Water Resource Mgt. Deadline: KnAY 31/97


of Mathematics:

Andersen Consulting Scholarship - available to 38. Deadline: MAR 31/98 Bell Sygma Computer Science Award - available to 4th year Computer Science. Deadline: OCT 31/97 Electrohome 75th Anniversary Scholarship - available to 3B Computer Science. Deadline: NOV 28/97 E;,un+ifeof Canada Award -available to 2nd year Actuarial Science. Deadline: NOV


of Science:

David M. Forget Memorial Award in Geology - available to 2A Earth Science, see department S.C. Johnson & Son Ltd. Environmental Scholarship - available to 3rd year Chemistry. Deadline: MAY 30/98 Marcel Peque nat Scholarship - available to 3B Earth Science/Water Resource Mgt. Deadline: lil AY 30/98

Fridav. October 17.1997 Videos and film - Dept. of Germanic and Slavic Languages & Literatures. “The Wannsee Conference” (1986 video, English subtitles). All showings take place at 6:30 p.m. in ML 117. For more info call 888-4567, ext. 2260. Tuesday, October 21,1997 Waterloo Concert Band presents “Music of the Night”, Waterloo Stage Theatre, 24 King Street, N., Waterloo. Tickets are $5. in advance, $8. at door. Call 725-7729 for more info. Wednesdav. Dctober22.1997 Gay and Lesbian Liberation of Waterloo Coming Out Discussion Group. Topic: “Crushes and Infatuation’ 7:30 p.m. Social follows at 9 p.m. PAS 3005. Meet old friends and make new ones. All welcome. Details: 884-4569. Thursday, October 23,1997 I * Coffee House - Student Life Centre at 7:30 p.m. “Meet UW Baseball Team” Everyone is welcome, bring your friends! Fridav. October 24.1997 Rummage Sale at the First United Church, King and William Street, Waterloo from 3 to 7 o.m. Saturdav. October 25.1997 Rummage Sale at the First United Church, King and William Street, Waterloo from 9 to 11 a.m.

If you don’t hear us on the radio .. . hear us at New progressive rock! Rooms in the Village Residence are available for immediate occupancy. Inquire at the Housing Office, Village I or phone 888-4567, ext. 3704 or ext. 3705 for further info on the villages. Guided self-change of alcohol use: for individuals who may have concerns about the amount they are drinkin and wantto cut down. Call Counselling 80 rvices, ext. 2655 to find out more. The KW Sexual Assautt Support Centre is holding a series of 6 workshops on “Anger: pati of the healing path’ for women survivors of child sexual assault. Tuesday evenings from October 28 - December 2/97. Offered in a rural location and free of charge. For more info or to register, call 571-0121, Scholarship funds are available through the Multiple Sclerosis Association of America’s PROJECT: Learn MS ‘98 Essay Competition. June 5,1998 is deadline. To obtain registration form and info call 1-BOO-LEARN MS. Third Year abroad at Coleraine, Northem Ireland. Genera! info meeting for students in the Faculty of Arts at 4;30 pm in HH334. Details from Prof. Jim Walker, HistoryDept.,3706, Canada World Youth is a nationall, non-profit organization offering youth exchange programs between the ages of 17 & 29. We are now accepting appiications for programs beginning the summer of 1998. Deadline is Nov. 21 1997.

For more info; 317 Adelaide St W, suite 404, Toronto, M5V 1 P9 (416) 596-9702, Fax 595-9642, cwyQcwy,ca

MONDAYS Outers Club Meetings - Environmental Studies 1, rmrn 221 at 7 p.m. Discuss and plan outdoor adventures. Get help with organiring and equipment (rentals available). Day trips happening every weekend. CHECK US OUT! WEDNESDAYS Come to Grace Christian Fellowship for an at cost supper, singing & Bible study, 4130 p.m., McKirdy Hall, St. Paul’s College. Call Tim Uyl883-0435 WEDNESDAYS Pascal Club meets at 12-I pm in SLC 2133. A faculty, staff, & graduate student reading club with a Christian orientation. We will be reading “the Act of Bible Reading, A multi-disciplinary Approach to Biblical Interpretation.” Other faiths and undergrads also welcome. contact: Chaplain Graham E. Morley at Chaplains off ice SLC 2126, ext 3633 or call 884-l 970 ext.2739. THURSDAYS Students Advlaing Golop weekly meetin@ are at 530 in Needles Hall, fuorn 1029.

The Ret Pals Program is currently looking for volunteers for wheelchair hockey on Saturdays at 2% p.m. at the small gym of the PAC. For more info. tail Charina at 746-4039. The City of Waterloo Volunteer Services (8&6356) is currently recruiting for the following volunteer positions: Older Adult Drama Festival Production Volunteers: are needed to assist in the production of a Show to showcase Older Adult Performing Arts. Positions available include Artistic Coordinator, Stage Manager, Choreographer, Technical Coordinator and more. Exp8ri8nce an asset. Must be willing to participate in the development of an Older Performing Arts not-for-profit company. Wonders of Winter Volunteers: are needed to assist at the Christmas light festival at Waterloo Park. Positions available include: Chair of the Volunteer Committe, Secretary, and Advertising. Call for other poisitions. Commitee Member: are needed for the S.A.L.T. committee which is a crime prevention program. Tasks invoked may include helping with presentations and making phone calls to book presentation. Must have good communication skills. Telephone Security: one regular and one spare telephone caller are needed to phone isolated seniors. A 2.5 hour per week commitment is required. Program Volunteers: are needed to assist with a senior day away program. Volunteers are needed Tuesday to Friday afternoons. Learn about a different culture while you show a new immigrant how to be a part of your community. For more info on this volunteer oosition call K-W Y.M.C.A. Host Proaram at 579-9622. Volunteer tutors are needed to tutor students on a one-to-one basis in written andorat English. Tutors meet studentson campus, usually once a week for I-2 hours for 1 term. If you have a good working knowledge of English, are patient, friendly, dependable, and would like to volunteer, register at the International Student Office, NH 2080. For more info about the program, call ext. 2814 or e-mail darlene @watservl . Homework helpers needed immediately! Big Sisters requires 15 homework helpers to tutor elementary or high school students who need academic assistance. Own transportation is required. Training is scheduled for Monday, Sept. 29/97 from 7-9:00 p.m. Please call now to register at 743-5206 and help a child. Big Sisters requires female volunteers (20 years and older) to make a positive difference in a child’s life, Next training sessions commence Sept. 23/97 or Nov. 8/97. Cal1 743-5206 for info/register. Leisure Support Services requires volunteers for exciting new track and field team for athletes with disabilities. One evening/ week for 8 weeks. Call 741-2228. Waterloo Girl Guides wants energetic, enthusiastic young women to be leaders for all ages (5-14 years), within the university vicinity. No experience needed! For info call Ann at 746-2662. Volunteers are needed to tutor students at a secondary school in Baden, This is an ideal experience for anyone wishing to get into Teacher’s Colleae. Call Bill Bond at 634-5441 between 8:00 am - 4:OOom Volunteer for community, heahh and conservation projects in Costa Rica and Guyana. Must be 18-25yrs. Deadline is Oct.3rd. Call Youth Challenae International (416) 971-9846 x300, email infoQvci.ora. Aquatic volunteers are needed to assist adults and children with disabilities, Will adapito your schedule. Receive free pool pass. Waterloo Swimplex, Breithaupt Centre and Lyle Hallman Pool. call Deb 741- 2226. Volunteers sought to assist individuals with adisability at recreation programs. Be a Leisure Support Volunteer. Great for course reauirements or iob exnerience. Call Deb at 741-2226 Assist a 4 year old boy with a disability to participate in a craft and playtime program. Saturday morning IO:00 am - noon. Training and support provided. Call Deb at 741-2226. Gain valuable work experience. Explore leisure activities with group of adults with developmental disabilites. Friday nights 71ODm Gait 74 l-2228 Inner City Neighbourhood Association needs volunteers to distribute, collect and analyse 60 surveys for space inventory, assist with Drop in Program fw~~schoolers/parent~~r~ivers, and to assist with drop in sports programs for teens. Calf Mary Ann. 744-2617. Prueter Public School (Union-Lancaster area) needs volunteers to work in classrooms or with individual students. Call Jane Home 578-09 10. No If, Ands, or Butts about i t Program.The Lung Association is offering a day of training to voulunteers who will lead a four week quit smoking program for youth. Volunteers must be available during the day. #069-2113 Sue Coulter, 742-8610 Care Bears Program needs volunteers to plan activities and transport children, Friday afternoons l -4pm. Care for preschoolers in a nursery school setting white their parents Da&pate in educational wouw. #021-672 Sue Coulter. 742-861fi .



Global Community Centre needs outgoing volunteers to provide reception and basic reference services in busy resource centre. No arevious exDerience necessarv. trainina Drovided. #083-220 Sue CouIter. 742-8610 Plan special events to promote volunteerism, assisst with a volunteeer fair, a volunteer day or with public speaking. Previous experience planning events or with marketing, publicity or public speaking is an asset. #I 01-2111 Sue Coulter, 742-8610 A track and field program for athletes with disabilities needs volunteers to assist with administrative work, publicity and equipment purchasing. #IOf12 Sue Coulter, 742-8610 A literacy network is looking for dependable volunteers with excellent interpersonal skills to assist with office/reception duties or take minutes of monthly board meetings.Day positionsBuild job skills & meet new people. #078-774 Sue Coulter, 742-8610 Boy Scouts of Canada needs you! Leader and volunteers are required to help run our weekly events. if you enjoyed the Scouting movement, please call Sonia at 885-4744 and help our young kids! The Oktoberfest Preview Committee needs eight volunteers for face painting on Oct. 4. Three shifts to choose from. Volunteers receive a complimentary pass to a festhafl. Call Sandi Benton 578-7340. Big Brothers of Kitchener-Waterloo needs volunteers for one-to-one matching or group activities. Call us today at 579-5150. Lexington Public School is looking for volunteers to help in classrooms and to work with individual students. Please Call Brigat 747-3314. Female volunteers needed to help a blind athlete train at a gym. No experience needed, just enthusiasm! A helpful “Sighted Guide” training session will be provided. Please call Vivian 745-9345. Interested in the arts? The Waterloo Community Arts Centre has numerous volunteer opportunities available. Call 886-4577 or drop by at 25 Regina Street, South, Waterloo

I “Smoking hasn’t affected me one bit. It’s my 486 that’s slowing me down!”

dr one wtlth the guys:”


Keep your Kokanee safe in your own refrigerator. To enter simply find Sasq in the above photograph and circle him. Then complete the ballot...

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