1996-97_v19,n02_Imprint

Page 1


The

UW

Student

Newspaper

Stu~twfeCentre,Room11l6 IhiV~i~OfW~lOO

Waterloo, Ontario 519-S

N2L 361

Friday May 17,1996 Volume 19, Number 2

No union for UW faculty

ISSN 0706-7380

by Elaine

tion, he stated that while he and his administrative colleagues were pleased with the result, *this does not

&cord

ImprintsM

U

Cover

photo

by &dim

Editorial

Ismail

Board

Editor in Chief Assistant Editor News Editor Arts Editor Sports Fditor Features Editor Science Editor Photo Editor Web Editor System Administrator Proofreaders

Sandy Atwal vacant vacant vacant vacant vacant vacant vacant vacant vacant vacant

niversi members

ty of Waterloo have voted

union

certification.

faculty against

The official results of the mid-April vote, as released by the Ontario Lahour Relations Board, were as follows: 361 against, 287 in favour, and four spoiled ballots. Another 54 bal“segregated and not lots were counted.” The official voter’s list included 978 faculty members, instructors and librarians; 706 people actually cast ballots. UW president James Downey said the outcome represented a vote of confidence in the ability of UW to work out matters collegially. In addi-

Board

Marea Willis Laurie Tigert-Dumas vacant vacant vacant

of Directors

President Vice-President Secretary/Treasurer Directors at Large

Contribution

Andrew Henderson Jeff Robertson Alexander Havrlant Adam Evans James Russell

List

Chris Basie, Dennis Ceh, Reni Ghan, Melissa Dietrich, Dave Fisher, Kelley Foley, Natalie Gillis, Kieran Green, Andrew Henderson, Amberlee Hewlett, Salim Tsmail, Greg KraEchick, Peter Lenardon, Dave Lynch, Sara Manning, Maryann Malloy, Greg Morey, Jeff Peeters, Greg Picken, Julie Primeau, Sarah Reinhart, Natalie Ricks, Kelley Rogers, James Russell, Elaine Secord, Lois Sherman, Klaus Steden, Patrick Wilkins, Patricia Woolcott, Dan Zachariah, The Parking Lot is Full, and many others. Imprint is the official student newspaperof the University of Waterloo. It is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. Imprint is a member of’ the Ontario Community Newspaper Association (OCNA). Imprint is published every Friday during fall and winter terms, and every second

Fciday during the springtertmImpriatresmves the right to screen, edit, and refuse advertising. Imprint lSSN 0706-7380. Mail should be addressed to Imprint, Student Life Centre, Room 1 I 16, University of Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3G 1. Oure-mail address: editor@imprint.uwaterlooxa. Our fax number is 884-7800. An on-line version of Imprint is available on the WWW at http://imprint.uwaterloo.cal

certification] is something that wait anyway.” The Ontario Labour Relations Board has been conducting negotiations to decide whether the votes of professional librarians, lab instructors, chairs of academic departments and part-time professors should count in the certification votes. UW management sought to exclude these employees from the bargaining unit. The negotiations saw representatives of the UW Faculty Association and, the University’s management settle most of these differences. In the end, only 54 ballots were segregated, not enough to make a difference in the outcome of the certification vote.

Waterloo receives $lM donation Downey,

Harris

by Peter Lenardon Imprint staff

Staff Business Manager Advertisin@oductiion Advertising Assistant Distribution

mean there aren’t important issues of governance and management that need to be addressed.” According to Downey, “Now that the question of certification has been resolved, I trust we can tackle these issues in a cooperative spirit and find solutions that are suited to Waterloo’s unique character and challenges. For our part, the university’s administration remain ready to do so.” When asked for his views on the outcome, Federation of Students president Mario Bellabarba commented, “It seems to me that with all that is happening within the university faculty and administration, [un-

ion can

L

ast Thursday, Ericsson Communications Canada announced their contribution of $1 million to the University of Waterloo for the establishment of the Centre for Wireless Communications &WC). The Centre will exist within the Department of Electrical and Computer Engineering and will graduate students with a Master of Applied Science in Electrical Engineering. The purpose of the donation, given in $200,000 installments over five years, is to create a world-class research facility and train qualified personnel in wireless communications. Ericsson Communications Canada sells cellular systems, Personal Communications Services, cellular phones, and mobile data systems. Ericsson is the eleventh largest research and development company in Canada and its plant in Montreal employs 900 engineers. Ontario Premier Mike Harris and UW President James Downey were on hand for the announcement and recep tion at the Sutton Place Hotel in Toronto. Harris remarked, “There’s not a cent of government money involved in today’s announcement,” a theme that was common to the speeches of both leaders. Ericsson arranged for a live demonstration of some of their products by linking a live video presentation from a plant in Mississauga to the ballroom at the hotel. After thanking Ericsson Communications President. Bernt Hoegberg, President Downey emphasized the need for continuing partnershipswith private business and highlighted WV’s previous successes in the area of co-operative education. Downey called the donation “generous and enlightened” because the new centre would generate valuable research, skilled workers, and economic activity that would benefit Canada as a whole. Downey underlined the fact that Ericsson Communications “will have no

call for more corporate

funding

proprietary claims on the products” of the new centre, be they new technologies created or graduates. However, Dr. Downey maintained that the “most strategic and important partnership of all for any university in this province [is] the one with the government of Ontario.” Next Premier Harris stepped up to the podium, added a couple more “Common Sense”puns and suggested that the “CWC is an excellent place to spend your tax cut.”

Premier Ha& on education

A

fter the reception, Harris answered some general questions about fundingfor post-secondary education in Ontario. W doesn’t There were suggestions that this announcement by Ericsson was just the beginning of a shift from government funding for universities and colleges to private funding. “I don’t know that the government will be contributing less and less... there is an interest for the government in the form of taxpayers and there’s an interest for business.” Harris acknowledged the current drop in funding and the need for an income contingent loan repayment plan (ICLR). “I think the government’s role is to maintain a core of funding, but at the same time we want to ensure bursaries we announced another $100 million for bursaries - and an ICLR plan. These kinds of mechanismswill ensure that every qualified student had access? For the first time, the Premier endorsed the opening of privately+wned universities in Ontario. “Philosophically, I personally think that could be a good

have a golf program+ does it? photo

by James

Russell

thing.” However, Mr. Harris does not see these corporate universities as a threat to Ontario’s 17 publicly-funded institutions. ‘They will be the pillar, or backbone, of universities here in Ontario.” Mr. Harris acknowledged that the law would need to be changed so that privately funded universities would be legal in Ontario, adding that “there seems to be a willingness and desire to fund them 100% with no cost to the taxpayer, no obligation, no liability, no strings attached. Why wouldn’t we look at that?” Premier Harris seemed to soften his stand on &not being swayed by special interests” when asked if student groups like the Ontario Undergraduate Student Alliance (OUSA) would have a chance to provide input with regard to restructuring of post-secondary education. “I think their viewpoints are important... We need to consult all views.”


IMPRINT,

Friday, May 17, 1996

3

NEWS Erratum:

Used books useless by Katie Fticks special to Imprint

T

he manager of the University ofWaterloo’s Used John Bookstore, Jongerius is asking the Faculty of the University of Waterloo to consider “the rising cost of tuition and the financial constraints on the students” when ordering books for their courses. The Used Bookstore, located in the Student Life Centre, is the number one service provided by the Federation of Students. Students have the

option

of

selling

used

books on a consignment basis and receiving 80% of the book’s value if it is sold. Over the past four months, over 4500 students have picked up cheques from the Used Bookstore, a total value of approximately $300,000. According to Jongerius, this service has run into a problem with books that are custom-made for UW professors. Custom-made books frequently have eliminat ed chapters, rendering them useless to anyone but the professors for whom they are made. A standard text book can be

sold on-campus unless it is no longer being used for a course. This occurs frequently as new editions are printed, and many students deal with the frustration of having bought a book that no longer has any value at UW. At this stage, the book may be exported by the Used Bookstore to the Nebraska Book Company, returning 3040% of the original price to the student. If the Nebraska Book Company cannot use the book, the Used Bookstore will offer the student up to $3 and place it on the sale shelves. This has been the fate of all custom-made books.

The Used Bookstore staff hope that professors will become “more awaren of the situation they place students in when they order custommade books such as the Primis editions. Primis is a division of the McGraw-Hill Ryerson publishing company which allows professors to publish a modified text containing only the chapters that they require. Over 90 special Primis editions of a Sociology 101 text, TIM Social World, 3rd Edition by

In the-My 3, 1996 issue, Imprint run a headline reading

Tepperman, Curtis, and Richardson, have-been returned to students who had hoped to sell them or purchased for the sale shelves. The books were required by specific sociology pre fessors and Jongerius has spoken to the Sociology Department about the matter. Elizabeth Barrat, a Used Bookstore employee, believes that UW professors tiare being hustled by publishers” who want them to use Primis editions of texts rather than publishing course notes independent of the publisher. For approximately $I 5 more, professors can request a standard text book (as it was originally published) that the students can resell, and most of these standard texts are usable for 2 to 3 years. The fact that the many sections of a given course often use different books and frequently change those books as new editions arrive makes it difficult for students to sell. The use of standard rather than custom-made texts would decrease the financial strain that this creates for UW students.

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Engineers.in the fast lane

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by Natalie Gillis Imprint staB

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e-mail: sweigma@ibm.net

F

or a team of University of Waterloo engineering _ students, faster is delinitely better. Over the past school .year, UW’s Formula SAE Team has been- designing, building and reworking the 1996 UW Formula SAE car, Their efforts are currently being put to the test in the international Formula SAE (Society of -4utomotive Engineers) Competition at the Pontiac Silwrdome in Michigan, an an1111alevent hosted by the Gene1-;11Motors, Ford and Chrysler Corporations. Competition began Thursday and continues until Sunday. . The object of the Formula SiIE Design Competition is to design, build, test and race a protqpe “Indy” style race car in a single academic year. Every aspect of automotive engineering is judged, including design, cost, presentation and performance of the prototype. The performance events include acceleration and skid pad tests, autocrossand endurance races. The

UW

team,

w k ich

con-

sists qf 30 second to fourth year students from a variety of engineering disciplines, has a long legacy to live up to. Since the first entry in 1987, ‘a UW team has placed as the

photo

top Canadian entry every year. The competition will be stiff&h entries from 85 university teams from around the world. The 1996 UW Formula SAE car has been ‘designed with several goals in mind. The existing turbocharged, fuel injected, double overhead cam and 16 valve engine has been upgraded to run on racing fuel to improve its power output. The team has also increased the space alloy frame’s stiffness to weight ratio, while incorpe rating the engine as a fully stressed frame member. This unique feature connects the engine to the front of the chassis,

by

Peter

Lenardon

making for easier maintenance and decreasing the overall weight of the car. Although the goal in designing the Formula SAE car has been to race it in Michigan this weekend, the team will continue to display the car and give demonstrationsatvarious events over the next year, including th’e Molson Indy. . For more iniormation about the 1996 UW Formula SAE car, contact the team office in the Department of Mechanical Engineering, tel: 883-456’1, ext. 5904, or e-mail: sae@mechanical. watstar.uwaterloo.ca

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NEWS

IMPRINT,

Friday,

May

17, 1996

Parliasnent Hill protest ’ + by Khan Green Impintstaff

T

hey came, they waved signs, they left - no braken windows, gra&i or police in riot gear. The Canadian Federation of Students’ (CFS) “ON to OttawaTrek,” held Saturday, May 11, passed quietly and uneventfully. A moderately-sized crowd of students from across Canada gathered on Parliament Hill to protest social spending cuts at the federal and provincial levels. Flags and banners indicated the presence of student groups and CF’S provincial chapters from BC and the Yukon across to PEI. The cold and rain seemed to dampen attendance. One of the purposes of the day was to announce the formation of a coalition of interests between different social lobby groups. In addition to the CFS, health care groups and representatives of aboriginal and women’s rights groups were present. According to Brad Lavigne, the incoming CFS National Chair, the purpose of the coalition is to show politicians that the different social welfare lobby groups will not be divided and made to

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fight over dwindling funds. “The core of our cause is getting peaple together,” he said. That message was echoed by such notable speakers as Ovide Mercredi of the AssemblyofFirst Nations and Sunera Thobani of the National Action Committee on the Status of Women. “If we join together, there is no way we can be defeated,” stated Thobani. Someone read a letter of sup port from CAW leader Bob White, who said he regretted he could not attend in person. In a show of cross-cultural support, there were two sets of speakers from Quebec universities. The speakers, in their comments, attempted to forge links and define commonalities between the different causes in the coalition. Mercredi addressed the poor state of the education system in native communities. A representative of the health care lobby said, “Health is having a right to a post-secondary education.” Many of the comments were directed at particular politicians and their policies. Ralph Klein was roasted for giving degree-granting status to the DeVry Institute, a

private facility. Harris, it was warned, favours similar action. Mercredi directed wrath at the Reform Party for labelling natives as “lazy.” Many of the speakers attacked Prime Minister Jean Chretien, Finance Minister Paul Martin and the Liberal government for cutting social transfers. The health care _ representative called the cuts “unsafe” and “un-Canadian.” Describing the damage that the cuts will do, Mercredi said, “Paul Martin is giving us acid rain.” Lavigne, summing up, said that the coalition intends to make this a “long, hot summer” for Chretien’s government. He said that they would be maintaining protest pressure against the government, and against provincial govacross Canada. ernments Lavigne said that the CFS would be holding a National General Meeting on Sunday, May 12, to plan their strategy for the summer. The afternoon demonstration included performances by a pair of native MicMac singers, a hip-hop singer, and a Cuban

doesn’twork, you can always contact the Legal Resource Office. They also have a great deal of information and may be able to direct you to some answersabout how to handle your landlord’s “freaking out.” I hope this helps, and good luck!

Campus Dons. This service was put in place for people much like yourself who are living on their own in a new city and just need a little bit of direction. The P.0.D.s go through a training session that equips them to answer questions ranging from how to do your laundry to where the “hottest” night spots are. (Fed Hall and the Bomber of course!!!) They are also there to help you through some of the tougher times which come with adjusting to a new place, whether you just need someone to hear you out, or to point you towards the various peer helping services provided on campus. A P.Q.D. can even tell you about things like the Student Part-time Employment 8c Volunteer Centre to get you started with your on campus involvement. Hope this gets you started and keep that chin up!

Continued

to page 5

1996 Mazda MX-6 My&e By special arrangement with a chartered Canadian bank, we can put you into a new Mazda before you graduate. If you havEf a job waiting for you upon graduating, give us a call or slop by our showroom for details on this exclusive offer for graduates.

W Just Feels Right”

%

by Julie Prime-au Vice President - Intemd Federation of Students

aterlbo *!RTH9 WHERE THE EXPRESSWAY ENDS SAVINGS

746-l 666

Dear

BEGIN 115 Northfield Dr., MI., Waterloo (Northfieldat the Parkway)

: ~mmmmmmmmmmmm~mmmmmmm~

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Fran Flanders; 1 am having some stious roommate problems.’ My one roommate has not paid the rent in three months and the landlord is freaking. The other roommate is always playing their music too loud and bringing friends home at all hours of the night. Don’tiget me wrong...1 love to party, but enough is enough!!! Just the other day I had to sleep in the Student Life Centre because things are so tense at home and I really can’t stand it any longer! Please help me... Sincerely, Nightmare

On Erb Street

a; “’

E . ..Ever Wonder : What Real Bagels t

They’re Here.

Blue Dog’ Bagels :

i 150 University Ave . : (at the corner of Philip) w EXP. May31196

Care,

Dear

Fran Flanders, I am new to this campus and have been finding things to be a little tough. I didn’t get into residence with the rest of my friends and sometimes I feel like I am missing out. I really would like to get involved in things but don’t know where to begin. Could you please point me in the right direction?!

Dear

m

Nightmare, Living on your own is not an easy task, especially when you are sharing your living space with other people. The FEDS have many sexvices in place that come to mind when reading your letter. Here’s just a few to get you started: Campus Mediation specializes in issues much like what you have mentioned, It is a vol: 1 unteer based service with volun1 teers who are trained to operate 1 in a strictly confidential envi-

With Fran

Sincerely, Down & Out Waterloo

in

Dear

Down 8c Out, It isn’t uncommon to be feeling this way. Being new to a city can be tough, especially if all of your friends are wrapped up in their residence _ _ _lives _a _ . . Did you know that there 1s a fantastic service that has been offered through the FEDS for called

P.0.D.s

or

PALS

Off-

Sincerely, Fran O.K., you caught me, there isn’t really u Fran A!andms.. . but there are a

lot of reallypat smites broughtto you by your Fedemtion of Students, I just thought that this would be a neat way to bring them to your attention. If you are in need of any of our S~?~'V~GI?S OT WUnt tb g&t inVi?iVed dI-U~ by the l?iD Offce,SLC 1IO2 or call us at 888-4042.


IMPRINT,

5

NEWS

Friday, May 17, 1996

that gay and ksbian rights have beenw&ten into the Constitution, Campus -Question:Now should therebea ministm to w@zsentgays and lesbiansin Cabinet? by Natalie Gillis, SarahReinhartand AdamEvans

“No, because I don’t agree with &ay and lesbianism” Adilm

“yes, because they need to have somebody to speak for them? seal Graney scoops

“No, they’re such a small fraction of the population, it’s not m.” Jacob Senderski 4A Computer Science

“There’s 8 reason for i& but it sets a precedent for every minor&y group.* Pat Spacek Honours

“No, our governments don’t have thefinancialrw3urcestojustifyiL”

“yes, ifthey’re in theconstitution they should have representatioa”

RoSeHarrison zBHe!althstlIdiesmesiol~

“yes, they deserve representation just as much as aqbody.n Kitstin-

2BRIw

EngIish graduate

SeanShler

1B chemical~-g.

Uyes. A department would educate people about homowxuals.‘) Ruby Mackwud waterh graduate

Ottawa trekkers Continued

from

page4

band. In between speakers, the crowd chanted slogans. Lavigne labeled the day a success. This is excellent. I am very plea&d with this,” he said. “When we leaw here, we’ll have made some important contacts. This has exceeded my expectations? The quiet tone of the day was a marked contrast to the last CE demonstration, which resulted in a riot and vandalism at Queen’s Park. Roughly six

RCMP officers kept an unobtrusive eye on the Parliament Hill demonstration, but seemed unconcerned and not expecting any trouble. This was also a marked contrast to the original “On to Ottawa Trek,” held in 1935, which the CFS event was intended to commemorate. After the Saturday protest had ended, some of the protesters boarded buses for long rides home. Those remainingwound a rather confused path to the Universiq of Ottawa, where they gathered in a campus pub to celebrate.

y PHOTOS -

Parking fees increase NOE Donotbeleftoutofyourclassczompositephotounqi yeuttnok. Grudphotusurebeing taken Porn May2 7to June 7, 15%. Sjgn up us soon 3~~ pcwdblel

by Peter Lenardon Imprint staff oin entry to parking lots like Lot C and W went up to $2 on Monday, May 13. Signs were posted atsome parking lots as early as a week ago. Parking rate increases were contained in the UW 199697 budget, which was approved by the Senate Finance Committee. Monthly parking rates are also expected to be increased from $14 to $20. The provost will make the ad hoc parking committee’s report pub lit soon, wherein the increases will probably be made official. The university administration has yet to release a memo on the existing increases.

C

Engineerjng

Math

May 21 to 28

Eng Sot Off ice (notice board)

May 28 to June 5

Math Grad Off ice (notice board)

1

May 21 to June 7

Fed Hall (Elvis Room, Mon. to Fri. 94)

JOSTF,NS

Insatiable little bastards. photo

I

by Peter Lenardon

*

I


Manufacturing D issent by Sandy Atwal

F

ortunately, the idea of private universities is slowly working its way back into the mainstream media. Andrew Coyne’s article in The Globe and Mail (which received some typically

The forum pages allow members of the University of Waterloo community to present their views on various issues through letters to the editor and longer comment pieces. The opinions expressed in columns, comment pieces, letters and other articles are strictly those of the authors, not of Imprint. Imprint is an editorially independent newspaper published by Imprint Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. Imprint, Student Life Centre, Room 1116, University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario, N2L 3Gl.

jejune responses from my university peers) made a sincere attempt at explaining how they could work, and Premier Mike Harris endorsed the idea last w&k. The most common complaint against private universities is that universities are a public good, therefore the public should pay for them. The familiar argument goes as follows: since “society” benefits when its members are educated, then obviously %ocietyn should pay for those members to be educated. Ergo, an education system paid for (and available to) everyone. Not so fast. Society might benefit from my education, but then again, it might not. If I go to school for six years and study very hard to become a doctor, then yes, it can be reasonably supposed that I will bestow some benefit upon “society.” But wait a minute, what if I study for four years and get an ‘honouk arts degree with a major in philosophy. My eyes will have been opened to perplexing moral dilemmas that surely concern

everybody and I may very well go on ;o get my MA., ciety”

focussing primarily on ethics. However, “somay vev well ask: so the- hell what? The question boils down to one of “benefits.” l3enefits whom and how much? Contrary to the claims of public-education proponents, the benefits of an edklcation are readily, and easily, quantifiable. Here’s how: After you receive your education, you go put into society and say, “Hey, I’ve got a degree in medicine. Would anybody like to purchase my services for a fee?” Some sick person readily hands over some cash, you check them out, write them a prescription for some antibiotic or other (knowirlg which one is pretty important here) and they go on their merry way, on the road to better health, telling all their friends what a good doctor you are. Or, you can go out into society and say UHey, I’ve got a degree in philosophy. Would anybody like to discuss Plato’s cave analogy?” Unless you haIre some other skills that people actually want, you will probably die, or at the very least, live with your parents for the rest of your life. If this seems unusually brutal, cruel or (god forbid) unfair, rest assured that it is none of those things, ..especially not unfair. This is simply the arrangement when “society” pays you for your education after you have it, and has a chance to decide whether or not it’s any damn good. The point is this: becoming educated is a means, not an end. Any given society does, in general, benefit when its members are educated people. However, this is only the case when those educated people are actuallyti~g~~~~hing. When people are creating, learning, building, writing, teaching, or performing some task that someone, anyone, fin&worthwhile, then theyare benefitting society in some genuine fashion. They do not benefit society simply by virtue of being educated, as if that somehow magically bestows real benefits to those around you. If this is indeed the case, then universities lose Iheir status as a public good. If that’s the &se, then perhaps we should begin to treat universities as we treat most other enterprises in a society; it might be good for me, it might not, but it should be up to me to decide whether or not I want to contribllte money to X university or Y university, depending on how good I think that university is at educating my peers. This is, perhaps, the path to privatization suggested by Coyne and Han-is; universities funded not by blanket taxation and redistribution, but by individual choice - and that’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Drowning in the dismal science

W

en people complain that going to university is a waste

model of the economy where happily, their ideas, no matter how

of time, they usually cite a number of reasons, foremost ofwhich is the fact that nothinguseful is taught in the classrooms. Although this can be sometimes interpreted as sour grapes, when it comes to the field of economics, the pessimists couldn’t be more correct. For a long time now, ecoqomics has been the laughing stock of academia and is continually referred to as the “dismal science” by scholars and laymen alike. Part of the reason for this is the seeming inability of the discipline to view the

bie, are allowed to flourish. I guess the economists missed that part about Francis Bacon, the Enlightenment, and the importance of verifying your hypotheses through the use of experiments. Our erudite professors, to maintain some credibility in the eyes of students, have to disguise their profound and oh-so pluralistic teachings in misdirected mathematics and convoluted theories. This stifling, anti-intellectual way of thinking discourages students from challenging

world in a realistic as opposed

to an abstract

It is a well-known fact that economists have done a good job of holding us hostage with their insane policy initiatives, keeping us in a perpetual state of stagnation or, at the very least, in a situation which is untenable in the long-run. These policies fundamentally deny any kind of forward-thinking solution that would once and for all put an end to this hegemony of stupidity that affects the establishment. It’s time we stood up and started to see the current state of economics for what it really is: an academic farce that distorts the truth

because it doesn’t have any clue about what the &th is and is unwilling

-

liconomists have never done anything for the advancement of societv

light.

You see, in the econc+

economics, it doesn’t even exist, as

professors’ ideas, which we are sup posed to accept as the God-given truth because professors know more than we do and Heaven knows the real world confirms what they tell us beyond any reasonable doubt. After all, it’s not like any improvement in

to admit it. Self-serving individuals, be they thinktank Yexpertsn or universitv srofessors. have . a ve&id interest in maintaining the status quoso thattheirlittlefiefdomsdon’t all come crumbling down. “Don’t worry,they tell us, uour policies will work, all we need is a little time for theparts to fall into place.” Meanwhile, everything keeps chugging along smoothly on the road to no-

there

the

where.

mists’ world, superfluous concerns such as world hunger, unemployment, and the environment are

incidental

-

to the more

J

pressing issues confronting mankind like the “social indifference curve,” which is supposed to indicate society’s ideal state of equilibrium or something like that. Like so many other phenomena in the wacky and wonderful world of is no

empirical

basis

for

its

existence. This doesn’t seem to faze economis&, however, because in their universe, if the facts don’t fit the theory, you simply “adjust” the facts until they do. This basically amounts to coming up with a metaphysical

theory

critical

approach

to

economic

is possible. Economists, with-1 their wellmeaning advice, never fail to put us on the right track, even if it does mean bleeding us to death in order to achieve their inflation-free utopia.

I

Let’s

Iike doctors, have never advancement

face

it, economists,

un-

engineers, or artists, done anything for the of society and disillu-

Continued

to page

8


Imprint welcomes letters to the editor from students and all members of the community. Letters shouId be 500 words or less, typed and double-spaced or in electro,nic form, and have the author’s name, signature, address and phone number for verification. Letters received via electronic mail must be verified with a signature. Ail material is subject to editing for brevity and clarity, The editor reserves the right to refuse to publish letters or articles which are judged to be libellous or discriminatory on the basis of gender, race, religion or sexual orientation. Opinions expressed are those of the individuals and not of Imprint.

The Board speaks

You’re all a bunch of whiners

Too little too late

To the Editor, To the Editor, Let me commend Sandy Atwal for voicing out against the endless whiners and complainers that, by looking at past letters to the editor, seem to form the bulk of the student population at UW. Week after week, for four terms, I’ve read this section of the paper with interest and, in answer to many letters of

complaint, have posed the mental question, “Yeah, but what are YOU doing about it?” Never mind that “the Imprint is the voice of the students and should represent them.” You’re a student aren’t you? What are you doingabout ensuring that this paper is representative of your voice? (Aside from writing in to whine

and complain, that is.) After reading Michael

Truscello’s letter (Welcome back Sandy!, May 3) my question was “So why aren’t YOU editor? Why don’t YOU apply for the position?* Better yet, why don’t YOU try to get your own column if you feel that the ones you have listed are inadequate? You can call it “I hate these columnists” or “Surrounded by morons.n If you think they are poorly wrltten, write a column on writing style and grammar for goodness sake! Don’t just complain, do something about it! I have often considered joining this paper (and, at one point, wrote one or two reviews for the arts section), but I have no real reason to because I feel the people who make up the Imp&t are doing a wonderful job. In fact, thispaper is one of the only colourful aspects of the drab and uniform entity that is the University of Waterloo. And yet I know that if I, as astudent, did not find myself represented or if I disagreed with any Imprint policies, I would make sure that I shook my ass right on down to Room 1116 in the Student Life Centre and signed up so that I could change the paper from within. I wouldn’t even stop to write a letter of complaint. l

-

Iun shw?u

You’ll full To the

find he’s of surprises

Editor,

I must admit, Sandy, that I had my doubts. The potential to stagnate in such a position is overwhelming. However, I must congratulate you on your succesS. The new paper looks really good, and must have been a lot of effort. Looking forward to more.

As a member of the Board of Directors of Imprint Publications, I have been concerned with the recent appearance of bright yellow signs posted around campus that are urging students to get their refund becauseImprint accepts tobaccoads.

Now, far be it for me to beat a dead horse, but I have a few problems with this approach. There have been numerous letters, comment pieces, and articles regarding the morality of tobacco advertising, and the pros and cons of accepting those ads. This is not what I want to address here. Rather, it is the nature of this campaign againstlmprint that I am concerned with. profit

Imprint is a fully independent, corporation owned and

non-

operated

by the students of the University of Waterloo. The $4.10 that students pay each term is actually not a ‘subscription’ as some might imagine, but a membership i’ee in the corporation. Every student paying this fee is a member of the corporation, and is due all the rights and privileges of said membership. This includes voicing concerns about the strategic direction of

the newspaper, and things like advertising. Whoever the anonymous poster-hangers who have littered UW campus with these obnoxious yellow monstrosities are, they have obviously made an effort in both time and money to try and get their point across to the student population. My question for these individuals is: why have you not addressed your concerns to the Imprint Board of Directors, who have the power to accept or deny advertising? The

n Tuesday May ‘7, Ernie Eves, Ontario’s Finance Minister read the budget to the provincial legislature. Mario Bellabarba, Fed president, and I booked the TV lounge in&e Student Life Center and watched the budget anxiously like the good Fed geeks we are. This budget had been billed as the “Good News Budget.” I guess it was good news, kinda like getting your free CDs from Columbia House after someone stole your stereo system.

0

The fifteen per cent tax cut would help students, if they paid taxes. Those few Co-op studentswith two work terms in one year, making over nine grand, might get a tax break big enough to pay for the increase in tuition they will experience. Now, I’m not a complete whiner. I admit wholeheartedly that the Co-operative Education Tax Credit, which will provide a tax incentive of up to $1000 to employers of Co-op students, will be good for Waterloo. For that I thank Minister Eves.

I look forward to thanking

by

Pete

providing us with an Income Contingent Loan Repayment (ICLR) ‘plan which would allow students to repay their loans at a sliding rate geared to their income. During my studies here, I have accrued enough student debt to make me eligible

to run as the OSAP poster child. Although you will be paying me a decent wage as Vice President Education, when 1 have to start paying for my loans (in 6 months) I

will be flat broke. Under

an ICLR

time

to establish

Cantinued

and

Pat

corporation, you have every right to bring your concerns to this body and make heard.

For those of you who are concerned, and have chosen this avenue of protest, we have been paying attention. There have been nine of you so far, and I’m sure there will be more. If a significant number of students do protest in this way, we will have to look seriously at our acceptance of tobacco ads. This is all we can do, given that we have had no formal complaints

other than those addressed in Letters to the The sad part of all of this is that we have no tobacco advertising running at aI1 in the summer issues of Imprint. It seems a little ironic, no? Still, perhaps now is the time to discover if this is an issue of great concern with the students. After all it is your newspaper. I urge anyone with concerns about this (or any other issue) to take it up with the Board of Directors. We . are also students, and volunteers. Make Editor.

your voices heard. If you have an issue, is your right to express it, and I want listen.

it

to

The

Dave

Puppets

oneself.

An ICLR

plan

ing the rough years. In addition to their promises to balance the books, the Tories promised us an ICLR plan. It seems to bti the only promise they lack the political will to deliver. Last Tuesday’s budget

Board is the governing body of Imprint, and is responsible for decisions exactly like this. If you are a member of the

yourself

my payments

recognizes that and eases the burden dur-

him for

Nesbitt

plan,

would be low or non-existent until I got a job with more money. Students who default on their loans typically do so within the first 2 years of graduation- It takes

meet

Dave.

Spacek

to page

9

3


FORUM

8

Friday, May 17, 1996

IMPRINT,

Treatise on technology

I

speeds as we scuttle around on fine, intricate networks of asphalt. As if this weren’t bad enough, airplanes were invented so we could slam into each other in the skies, too. Someone eventually noticed that Chinese rockets had the potential to go way faster than

we had nothing. No certainly no video games; heck, not even a simple pulley, lever, or wheel. Then some prehistoric Pandora found out that sticks and stones could be used for more than just breaking bones, and v&la! we had fire. I’m sure it didn’t happen overnight (or maybe it did, what else did cave folk have to do?), but pretty soon Caveman Joe was picking up Caveman Jill in his fancy new wheel at the stroke of eight, according to the sundial. Primitive survival instinct being what n the beginning cars, no lights,

cars, and by combining them with the conv#3Mional airplane the equation was complete: alongcamethefirstjetairplane. Now we could truly zip around. Since there was so much more room in the sky there was less chance of accidents, right? Well, it would be, if flying wasn’t like delivering a baby while splitting-the atom carrying a priceless Ming vase through the Hasbro marble factory. And don’t

it was, I’m sure it wasn’t too long before someone noticed that humans didn’t do well in outrunning predators, but that most other animals did. Primitive wheels were set into motion, and soon enough, we had animils hauling

us around on our fancy wheeled contraptions. I’m sure the animals were fairly about this; ably wishing

bitter proh that

forget

to check

your

mirrors!

Well, if there wasn’t enough room in the sky, there would ce&

Humms don ‘t make for good glue, dog food, or sporting men&

be

. tainly

covere’d

that the

only thing slowing us down in space was our lack of ability to go f;tster. But someday there will be ways to circumvent pesky little limitations like the speed of light.

to the horse-drawn and better wheels.

hyperspace where there are no Physics Police saying: “Hey buddy, slow down or

All

we

have

to

do

is go

through

I’ll have to increase your maSs to infinity!” Once we figure out how to do that, then yoohoo! we’ll have broken the lightspeed barrier! “But wait! n clamour the Physics majors,“There’s a reason that we’re not allowed to go faster than the speed of light!” Einstein said- that if you can go faster than light, then you can effectively go back in time (well, that’s not all he said, but it was the neatest). Late assignment? Hey, hop into

around in our motor cars with engines barely containing joyously slamming

little

explosions

of gas,

into each other at high

Continued

TOO

-

RUSSO~E

1%

REXTAURANT

886-4678

& BAR

15 King street, N,, WATERLOO .

[across from the Watetlcm

graphic problem. A comforting

Imprint runs cigarette ads. Then Editor-In-Chief Dave Fisher defends decision on questionable grounds. Imprht receives letters. linpint receives more letters. The arguments are brought up: cigarettes, even in moderation, kill (but

but the whole argument is pretty demic if you happen to value human as I and most others do.

so does drunk driving, and most people

with nicotine levels or has been less than forthright with governments about the health effects of its products in the past. Then Imprint might justifiably pull the advertising. Here’s where the slide down the slippery slope to hypocrisy begins. Then hpint should probably pull alcohol advertising too, because its advertising is aimed at minors. Better lose those sperm bank ads - they must offend people on campus of some religion. Get rid of the auto ads and restaurant ads too, because cars produce pollution and restaurants serve meat from abominably treated animals. Is cigarette advertising any worse than these? The point is that to

who do it would argue that they were only drinking in moderation); Imptit, as a university newspaper, should be “a leader” and be more responsible (but can’t university students make up their own minds?); cigarettes would be declared illegal if they appeared today (but would they?); etc., etc.Then, in the first weeks of the spring term, anonymous vigilantes post signs around campus. Take action!, the signs say. Get your money refunded at the Imprint office, *he signs say. R@&Ywe can muh cigurette advertising un@jtable, the signs say. Finally, students taking action. And like so many before them, they don’t seem to have thought matters out. First, the ethical grounds. To some,

$Z.Zgf~Zi”a [~~~~~~~ .

they’d thought of it first. In which case we’d be pulling them. Too late now, because humanity was on a roll, literally. Actually, there was a slight lull in there. The only real improvements made carriage were bigger Of course, we decided to add weapons to these things because we like to add weapons to everything we build, but things were in a slump until someone decided to improve the horse. In fact, they did such a good job that the horse was put to pasture and used mainly for glue, dog food and sporting events. They were rea& bitter about this. But when you think about it, it’s for the best; humans don’t make for good glue, dog food, or sporting events. But as it stands, we’re the ones who get to drive

The story so far...

to page

9

smoking is apparently “unacceptable.” Personally, I let out a silent cheer every time another place is designated as nonsmoking. Do I think it’s unacceptable? As far as smoking damages the health of non-smokers and its advertising coerces children into doing it, yes. But Imprint’s cigarette advertising is directed at university students who are generally of age, and does not advocate, urn, irresponsible smoking. Beyond these concerns, anyone op posed to the advertising is attempting to impose his or her moral convictions on the student newspaper. This imposition

of a particular person’s morality seems like a sure-fire way to prevent student newspapers

from

prqviding

forums

for

discussion, or being even remotely interesting, especiallywhen conservative magazines like The Economist are advocating legalization of cocaine and heroin. Others, attempting to be rational, protest that smoking also hits the taxpayer through our health-care system. O‘r does it? Think about it. Lung cancer generally hits when you’re older, when you’re less product&, or not productive at all. The economics are debatable, but the tobacco industry has actually argued from time to time that it saves government money by killing people faster. If more people smoked, and smoked more, you could say goodbye to our demo-

So let’s, ahem, pretend bacco

industry

is immoral

vertises to children

thought, acalife,

that the tobecause

it ad-

elsewhere or plays

come away with hands clean by any objective standard, Imprint would have to forgo all advertising. In principle, I think that would be great. Of course, the $4.10 would probably have to double (at least) to around eight dollars. Students, crusaders that they are, would be willing to sacrifice

a mere

eight

dollars

for

a

truly independent paper responsible solely to them, wouldn’t they? NOT! At press time, of the 78 people who asked for their hprht fees back so far this term, eight said it was because of the cigarette advertising. Even if (and I’m being generous here) half of them got their fee back because of the advertising, that still leaves a good number who just want the money for...a beer at the Bombshelter, or

better yet, a pack of smokes. If the fee went up, you can bet that the number of people wanting their money back would go up, just because they could then get (gasp!) a pitcher of beer at the Bombshelter. Practically speaking, Imprint would probably suffer a serious decline in quality, or go under in the long run, without advertising. In the face of these alternatives, and the fact that the cigarette advertising has not compromised Imprint’s content, accepting cigarette advertising is very profitable

indeed.

Theah

I

Dismal science Continued

“Individual Chef Prepared Meals . . . Table Side Seryice . . . & much, much more!! Open Monday to Saturday from 11:30 a.m. Sunday Corn 400 p,m.

sionment increasingly

from with

page

6

them is quickly fashionable. All

becoming the

fancy

dogma taught in the classroom obscures the disgraceful reality in which simple, repetitive, and ployed to disequilibrium.

brutal measures “solve”

are em-

economic Eventually this vicious cy-

cle is going to collapse impetus, but when that anybody’s guess. Who knows, maybe

under time will some

day

its own come is

econo-

mists will see people as human beings instead as just another form of capital, a functional unit to be used as grist for that almighty economic model which will lead us to the promised land. Something is going to have to give, and frankly, economists may eventually become dinosaurs,

anachronisms. For that to be avoided, they would do well to come out fromtheir ivory towers and the depths of their thinktanks

for

a breath

- Dan Zuctih

of fresh

air.


IMPRINT,

Friday,

May

9

FORUM

17, 1996

Too little Continued

Homosexuals, it would appear, have come a long way in Canada. People no longer have to be afraid to come out of the closet, and now with the recent passing of the gay-rights bill, they have even less to fear if they choose to do so. But fortunately or unfortunately, the bill gave huge publicity to the fact that homosexuals are still second-class citizens in Canada. Liberal MP Roseanne Skoke was very open about her position. “We are asking Canadians to condone and accept homosexuality as natural and moral. My position is that it is unnatural and it is immoral.” N’ell, it is obviously not unnatural, or we wouldn’t have very many homosexuals at all. They’re born by the same natural process that straight peopie are. And immoral? According to who? Just because someone doesn’t like something doesn’t make it immoral. And please please please don’t cite the Bible. Try and find something just a little more relevant. Now, Justice Minister Alan Rock insisted that the bill (which dealt only with workplace discrimination) did not sanction gay adoptions, gay marriages, or spousal benefits, but I don’t think that these can be far behind. It seems a little inconsistent to say that you cannot discriminate against gays in the workplace but anywhere else is fine. True, family law is a provincial matter, but this federal legislation cannot help but pave the way for the overdue changes at the provincial level. Rock wan ted to stress the fat t that this hill wasn’t related to family law for one reason ;ind one reason only; the voting public is still a little queasy about homosexuality. This was amply demonstrated about a year ago when Lynn McI,eod did her famous flip-flop on the issue in the Ontario Parliament+ I think this is unfortunate. Now, I’d be the last person to suggest that politicians stopped listening to the electorate. However, I do think that it is the politician’s role to defy the opinion of the unwashed masses when it serves the greater good, and I think that giving homosexuals equivalent benefits does so. Granting these benefits isn’t going to hurt anyone, and they have the potential to significantly improve the lives of many gay couples. The Reform Party has acted reprehensibly in this matter. Reformers

voted against the bill on the grounds that they do not favour special rights for anyone. This is garbage. If they truly do not want any groups protected, why haven’t they attempted to repeal legislation that protects women or visible minorities? Though the Liberals allowed a free vote on the issue the Reform Party opted for strict control, ordering their members to vote against it, and I commend MP Jim Silye (Calgary Centre) for defying the party and voting for the bill. The heavy hand of Preston Manning is at work here. I fear his religious beliefs may have finally interfered with his politics and led him into serious error. All this goes to show that polititally, gays are still ‘not very well accepted. Though the bill passed, 33 per cent of MP’s voted against it. I think that’s 33 per cent too many. Many churches are also trying to deal with the thorny issue of homosexuality, most recently the Presbyterian church. In Lachine, Quebec, 90 per cent of the congregation of St. Andrew’s Presbyterian Church supports the ordination of Darryl Macdonald, but whether or not he will be ordained remains to be seen. The General Assembly of the Church (the highest governing body) commissioned a report on the issue, and the report recommends that Macdonald not be ordained unless he gives up his lover and becomes celibate. Some of the opponents of Macdonald’s ordination wanted these conditions because they consider homosexuality “harmful to self and others.” Ok, now find anJthingto back that up. Some simply want to refuse to ordain any homosexuals on the grounds that to do so would cause a further decline in membership. So basically what they’re saying is that cash is more important than doing what is right. After all, what does a larger membership mean except more donations? I’m sure God would be very proud. Unfortunately, it might be a long time before homosexuals get the equality they deserve. There are still a lot of stupid people who think that with recognizing homosexuality as an acceptable lifestyle comes the destruction of the family, morality, and society in general. The gay-rights bill however, was one small step in the right direction.

Technology treatise Continued

from

page

8

hyperspace, where the airline attendants are even perkier, and go back a few months. Now you have plenty of time! Amuse your friends at parties by going back in time and giving yourself a phone call! What’s that you say? December 26th and you forgot about Christmas? Buy your presents now to take advantage of those Boxing Day sales and then skip back! You’ll never have to worry about resena-

tions again. Just be sure to keep track of wht~ you are. It’s pretty embarrassing to walk in on yourself in the shower; but then, it’s always good to have an extra pair of hands when you’re cleaning the house or raising a barn. Personally, I can’t wait to see what those hyperspeed crash-ups will be like. At least you won’t be late for your own funeral! -

Greg Mwey

from

page

7

provided little more than an update on the issue: “The province is working with the Government of Canada to develop an income contingent loan program.” It makes me wonder if the creation of the Ontario Student Opportunity Trust Fund is a peace offering because the province realizes that the federal government is, unfortunately, not that concerned about post-secondary education. With the Opportunity Fund, any university or college will be able to establish a trust fund into which companies and individuals can contribute. From now until March 31, 1997 the provincial government will match dollar for dollar each contribution up to $100 million. The fund will be used to help students “who for financial reasons would not otherwise be able to attend college or university.” Is the university really going to dedicate itself to raising money for an Opportunity Fund which would benefit disadvantaged students? It takes money to r_aise money. I sincerely hope UW is altruistic enough to dedicate some resources to this cause, although just coming off year five of “Campaign Waterloo,” it may be difficult. Jim Kablfleisch, Vice President Academic and Provost, has already expressed concerns that the Opportunity Fund would divert funds away from other scholarships and bursaries in the short term. It’s not that the university doesn’t care about students, because for the most

part

it does. The last: budget cut and the mass exodus of faculty and staff from UW have left us with agonizing growing pains. In its most recent budget, the university’s three million dollar reinvestment fund had to be redirected into the general operating budget. So if the university raises any money, it will be used to keep its head above water. In principle, the Opportunity Fund is great. However, in light of the fact that Harris gave his word that he would reform student aid, the fund is insuff2ient. Canada signed the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, which states, “higher education shall be equally accessible to all on the basis of merit.” By not providing sufficient and equitable student aid, both the provincial and federal governments are shirking their responsibility and breaking their oath. I offer these opinions from the advantaged position of not having any political affiliation or leaning whatsoever. If you have ideas contrary to mine please feel free to challenge me. I would welcome the opportunity to meet with anyone either at the Fed office or your favorite student lounge on campus. I can be reached at ext. 2340 or by e-mail at kefoley@feds.

- Kellq, Fuky vice l+-&dht Edacttiun Federation of Students

lEATHER.JA DAY

WEDNESDAY MAY 22, 1996 1 LOO TO 3:00

STUDENT WE CENTRE GRADUATlNG????? M’LL BE HAPPY TO SHIP YOUR JACKET ANMNHERE IN CANADA! ! ! REE!!!

for moreinfo,call: 888-4567 X2188


A round the World in. Months Fourteen

A former UW student takes on the world and lives to tell his story to Imprint. This week: Egypt, India, China and Indonesia by Sakn Ismail special to Imprint

t the exact mid-point of my I4month backpacking trip, I needed two hours by skiff canoe, four hours y bus and a four-hour flight, all on vehicles that A were extremely suspect, to get back to the nearest capital. That’s when I asked myself what the hell I was doing. Why was I there? Whatwould I do when I got back? At the time, I shoved aside the questions, they couldn’t be answered anyway. When I now look back on the trip, it was by far the best thing I have ever done. Like most things, it all started by accident. I’d been working in Europe and ended up in the U.S. on a project that ended prematurely, leaving me at a loose end. I’d been planning to go to Egypt to visit an aunt who was posted there, but the ticket would cost $1400! After asking the agent how much extra it would cost to go to India (+$400), Singapore (+$600) and Hong Kong (+$800), the possibility of a trip was looking quite grim. The agent, who by this time was not in a good mood, finally suggested a round-the-world ticket for $2,000. In the space of two days I called everyone I knew in the different cities and blew my Visa card into orbit. The wllole thing took less than a week.

EGYPT I started

nallyfrom

in Egypt. I’m origiIndia, which has many

ancient civilizations, but I didn’t expect the size and grandeur of the monuments there. The temples in Luxor are beyond words and I spent two weeks wandering around, mostly by bicycle. It took a full week to look very briefly around Cairo, and every day I bought a chunk of raw sugarcane

to chew while I walked around. (Hint: length

Never carry around a of sugarcane longer than you are). Cairo is probably the dustiest place in the world, and at the end of each day I was tarred and feathered in dried sugarcane juice and dust. The Cairo Museum is fantastic. The only problem is that it’s so full you have to step over artifacts, and there are mummies stacked into every crevice. The List 20 years have apparently

yielded huge numbers of relics, which have yet to be catalogued and studied. The solid gold tomb of King Tut lies there, and I was amazed to see that it is completely unguarded. The guard enlightened me and explained that due to the weight of the gold, they didn’t need to guard it! It would talce several forklifts to even budge the thing. . The highlight of Egypt for me was a week of scuba diving at Sharm-el-Sheikh. It is at the bottom tip of the Sinai peninsula, and is being quickly rebuilt after

having been destroyed by the Israelis during one of the wars. Diving is ideal when there is a dropoff against which coral can attach itself. Here, there are two continental plates that come ~CP gether, and you can wade 50 m into the sea and encounter a staggering 2 km dropoff. It is the best place for snorkelling and diving in the world (for coral) and is not to be missed. Dahab, which is just up the coast, is a huge hippie and backpacker centre and the diving there is almost as incredible.

INDIA India was my next stop. I have a huge extended family and India is usually a nightmare for me. A big family is great in that you can go and stay with them anytime; the downside is that if

you’rewithin 1,000 km anddon’t stop in, your head’s on a plate. lier

My strategy than they

was to arrive earexpected, and I

mariaged two weeks of trekking in the Himalayas near Ladhakh. The bus from Dehli into the mountains is the single most frightening experience I’ve ever had. We were on the top of the museum piece that they called a bus, and it had a nasty habit of leaning out into empty space around hairpin bends. At one spot a landslide had taken out half of the narrow shelf they called a road and I thought

and the pyramid at Giza

The Sphinx that

we’d

surely

to stop. casually called out “Hold on!” and the passengers riding on top lazily took hold of the rusty railing that pretended to run around the edge of the roof. He rode the two inside wheels up onto the side of the mountain and actually tilted the bus around the yawning gap in the road. We were on the outside edge and were looking straight down several thousand feet into the valley below, protected only by that

Nothing doing.

have

The driver

old, loose railing. The good part was that I was never again scared onto any form of transportation for the rest of my trip. It was a real benchmark. The trekking was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I was completely ant of shape as we headed out with our backpacks for a five-day trek to go up and down 3,500 m. After two days of excruciating climbing, we got lost in a Himalayan jungle and, after a few hours of anguish, were res-

photos

by Salim Ismail

cued

bv a mountain horseherder. He took our packs on a horse and guided us for a full day and night to the pass for which we were searching (he charged us $5). As we camped down for the night in a little clearing at 3,200

m, he started

a fire.

“Oh,

we won’t need that,” we said, uour sIeeping bags will keep us warm.” He looked at us balefully and explained that the fire was not for us; it was to keep the bears away. Needless to say, we did not sleep well. At one point,


IMPRINT,

there was a rustling noise a few feet away, and we shot out of our sleeping bags as a huge horse whinnied in the pitch black. The next day, my muscles were SO broken-down and ruined that it took me a full ten minutes just to stand up. We climbed the last hundred metres to the top and finally realised why we’d done it: the skyline was filled with snow-capped peaks and we looked out at Ladakh on one side, and meadows full of flowers and wild horses on the other. The next two days are a blur, since I’ve blocked out the memory of that painful descent. (Hint: If y ou do anything like this, prepare your legs well!)

hire a mountain bike during the day to explore the incredible mountains, and at night to accompany the cormorant fishermen as they ply their trade on the river. hey go out on canoes with several birds on leads and they throw the birds in wherever they think fish are located. The birds have a tight band around their throats that only allows them to swallow small fish. Anything larger gets stuck and they get reeled in; the fisherman then “empties” the bird into a basket. It isfkscinating to watch: the lights at the prow of each boat cast a surrealist glow onto the river and light up the birds as they glide underwater.

TIBET CHINA After a couple of weeks in Hong Kong unsuccessfully eluding more cousins, I took on China. I was full of trepidation since this was where the real backpacking started for me. Alrhough India is much harder as a destination, at least there I coufd communicate a little. A Lonely Planet (the guidebook that is the Bible for all backpackers) saved me and I started by flying into Guilin (pronounced ‘gway-1in’)in the southwest. This is where they have all those spiky limestone mountains that are in all the calligraphy and painting works. They all have the same narrow height and look like rows of sharks teeth sticking out into the sky. The thing to do here is to

The Giant Buddha at U&an,

From Guilin, I went up to hendu (capital of Sichuan) and managed to fly into Tibet for three weeks. The whole damn country is above the tree line and w all suffered terribly from altitude sickness for the fn-st few days. We arrived during their New Year’s celebrations, which were much tempered by the presence of the PLA (People’s *Liberation” Army). The Chinese have flooded Lhasawith Han Chinese in the hopes of diluting the culture. Although this has not quite happened yet, one simple statistic tells it all: in 1949 there were 1,600 monasteries operating in Tibet. Then came the Chinese invasion and the cultural revolution. By 1979, the number of monasteries was down to... 101 Despite what they have en-

China

11

FEATURES

Friday, May 17, 1996

dured, the Tibetans are the most spiritual and happy people I have ever seen. There was something very strange about the place and after a week we realised that we never heard children crying. After that, we listened for it, and still didn’t hear any wailing! Myfavouriteactivitywaswandering around the large monasteries and feeling the atmosphere. Somehow, despite the brilliant colours used, the atmosphere is incredibly serene. One day, 1 was taken around by some monks who showed me their quarters and taught me how to meditate. They even got me to bear the taste of their Tibetan tea without spitting it out. It is disgusting stuff made of melted Yak butter with tea leaves and salt! Everything there is yak-this and yak-that (I even had a yakburger). Getting back to China was a rude awakening, but it was special in its own way. In Chengdu, I received what I can only describe as a “remote” massage. They massage you without touching! It is a part of what is called Tsigoong Buddhism and they are trained to feed Ch’i throqh the air. They massage you from six feet away, and it works! They run a whole medical clinic based on diagnosis without touch and use acupuncture to conduct Ch’i in and out of the body. Tsigoong is a very mystic type of Buddhist practice and is making a comeback after almost being wiped out during the cultural revolution. Train travel in China is not as chaotic as India, but I have never seen so much spitting, smoking, or littering. Beer bottles, food containers, newspapers, etc. are all thrown out the window. We were disgusted by it all and used the lvastebins that were right next to each seat instead. The other passengers looked at us perplexedly, and then the cleaning lady came through. She took one look at the wastebin, issued a stream of invective at us and proceeded to empty the bin out the window!! We gave up. In this fashion, I took a train across the whole country and visited Beijing and Shanghai via Xi’an (site of the Terracotta warriors) . Shanghai is quite predictable (being very Western), but Beijing was surprisingly lovely. There, a large bottle of cold Tsingtao beer (750 ml) costs all of 20 cents. The only headache in Beijing was a fight I got into with a bus conductor who tried to rip mywatch off mywrist as I stepped off the bus! I lost my temper completely and saw red. I twisted his arm until he dropped it, but I was so angry that I continued to twist and ended up dislocating his elbow. Then there were many explanations to be made. By this time I’d had enough, and after a quick look around Canton’s ani-

The Great Wall of China ma1 market, where they sell live gazelles and chop limbs off live animals (freshness is everything, I suppose), I escaped out of the Middle Kingdom.

INDONESIA After a few boring days in Singapore (the zoo is the coolest place there), I launched into Indonesia, which is a fascinating blend of cultures and races living in a huge archipelago of volcanoes and rainforest. Indonesia, from one end to the other, is wider than the U.S.! The people vary from Christian cannibals (they ate the first missionaries, but then listened to a few) to .totem-pole building Hindus and Muslim fundamentalists. I started in the Sumatran rainforest. They were not kidding about the “rain” part. A tshirt, for instance, takes 4 days to dry and the forest floor is ankledeep in mud. After satisfying myself that the landscape was not too hilly, I risked my legs on a twoday trek through the rainforest, the highlight of which was an encounter with an orang-utang that accepted some food from us. Our guide Put an Orange segment under my collar and I had the undeniably unique experience of having a wild ape grab me and rummage around at the back of my throat! She (it was female) even let me hold her fingers (which where black and leathcry) and feel her fur.

Y

JAVA

Java was next, and after almost getting my camera stolen on a train (no fights this time), I came to Jogjakarta, the cultural capital. Here, I was fit and ready . and climbed up Mt. Merapi, an active volcano. I asked neIvous1y what the chances were ofan erup tion. The guide cheerfully replied that he was fully expecting one, but since it erupted every six hours, there was not much time for pressure to build up inside the cone and it was very accessible. We started at 11 p.m,, and climbed up in the dark through sharp pumice rock and thick black volcanic dust. The plan was to arrive at dawn and watch the sun come up. After seven hours of hard climbing, we were rewarded with the most spectacular sight I’ve ever seen. At the edge of the caldera, at 3,200 m, you could look at the smoking lava inside the cone or watch the sun rise up through the clouds, silhouetting the other smoking peaks nearby. There was even a minor eruption while we were at. the top and I managed to cap ture some beautiful shots of it. This wasjust as well because four weeks later, the whole mountain exploded in a violent eruption . 50 people died and all the villages on the sides were wiped out. So much for predictable... Next issue: Salim visits Bali and New Zealand and gives a breakdown of how much this whole trip cost.


W athletes tri for gold by Chris and Jeff Imprint

Eastie Peeters staff

students are wo Waterloo heading to Prague, Czech Republic, to take on the world next month at the World University Games in the

T

triathlon. Tereza Macet, a third-year biolow student and varsity swimmer, placed first in a very competitive field that included some previous world junior triathlon champions at the Western Canadian World University Games Qualifjsrs on May 5. Meanwhile Brent Curry, a fourth-year enginueringstudent andvarsitycrosscountry skier, finished third. The top four men and women at the meet qualified for the Games. Other UWathleteswhocom-

peted but fell just short of qualifying were Mike Tripp, a varsity cross-country runner, and Scott Curry, a varsity cross-country skier. The triathlon is a gruelling endurance race where competitors must swim, bike, and run in succession. At the Qualifiers, competitors swam an 80Om time trial at 8:30 a.m. before completing the triathlon later with a 22km bike ride and 8km run at lo:30 a.m. At the World Universi ty Games, however, they will start with a 1500m swim, go directly to a 4Qkt-n bike ride, then conclude the race with a 1Okm run to the finish. The event demands that competitors he in top physical condition. In the women’s division, Macet used her swimming prowess toset the pace with a domi-

UW prof squashes the world by Kelly Rugers special

nating swim, winning the time trials. She never looked back, leading from start to finish. In the men’s division, Curry struggled in the swimming time trials, butreboundedwithastrongbike ride to propel himself into a spot in the Games. Both athletes must now focus on the Herculanean task that awaits them on June 23. Qualifjing for the Games was extra special for Macel, who defected from the former Czechoslovakia at the age of nine. This will mark the first time that she has returned in over 13 years. Both athletes are in need of flirtding for the $1,200 trip to the Czech Republic. They are currently looking for sponsors and donations to help them finance their voyage. Anyone interested can call Tereza or Chris at 7469881.

he World’s Squash Doubles Tournament featured two Waterloo athletes. A3 Hunt (Computer Science - 1983 and Varsity Champion - 1983) teamed with Fred Reid (University of Western Ontario graduate) to reach the finals of the Over 35 category, while Honourary University of Waterloo Squash Coach Barney Lawrence (K-W Racquet CIub Founder) and Gord Guyatt

T

(HamiltonThistle

D

id you know that there are currently seven universities across Ontario with womens’ varsity ice hockey teams, none of which are Waterloo? Well, this is no longer true. Waterloo has the rink. Waterloo has players. Waterloo has coaches. Women’s hockey is coming!!! We, a once small but now not-so-small team of women intent on bringing women’s hockey to Waterloo, seek your help in plnting together an exhibition team for the fall and winter. If you are, or know of, an experienced female hockey player attending Waterloo next year and may be interested in joining the team, let us know!!! Also, if you are an experienced coach, and would be interested in joining the coaching staff, we want to hear from you. If you are on campus this term, please e-mail or call Sara <sImannin@undergrad.math> or 725 - 8849. If you are not here

until the fall, or are passing this along to someone who will be here in the fall, please e-mail Sue at <smlong@undergrad.math>.

For more information on the team, check out <http:// ww.undergrad.math.uwater-loo,ca/ -slmannin/>.

Andria Hunter, star player on U of T’s women’s varsity ice hockey team and member of Canada’s World Champion women’s national team would have come to Waterloo for an und.efgradu.ate Computer Science degree if there had been a women’s varsity ice hockey team for her to join. Instead, she accepted a scholarship in the USA photo

by Mike

Wassman

Club) won the

World’s Masters Title (over 70)) defeating Ed Helfeld and Dr. John Callendar of San Francisco (15-13, 12-15, l&18, 15-10, 17l4) Lawrence and Guyatt had l

already won the Ontario Over 65 Doubles title and were ranked number one in Canada’s Over 70 Category. They had lost aver-y close match in the United States Finals to Hetfeld and &IIendar but avenged this defeat in the World Tourney. Lawrence, a practicing lawyer, is a taw professor at UW and was coach of the varsity squash team for several years. Doubles Squash was started in Philadelphia in 1907 when Frederich Charles Tompkins of that city built the first doubles court at the Philidelphia Racquet Club. Since 1907, Philadelphia players have dominated USA tournaments, winning 38 of the last 51 doubles titles. This year the Canadians showed their mastery of the game.

Campus Ret needs referees

Calling all female hockey players by Sara Manning special to Imprint

to Imprint

by Jeff

Imprint

Peeters

stafT

o you have a good understanding of the games of baseball or football? Does your knowledge of the rules for these games impress your friends and gain you acceptance from your peers? Would you like to use your knowledge of these sports to make some cash and have a lot of fun? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then Campus Ret needs you! According to Campus Recreation League Manager Joe Cascagnette, Campus Ret is in desperate need of officials for &-pitch softball and flag foot-

D

ball, especially slo-pitch. This shortage of officials is cause for concern. That’s where Campus Ret needs you. Campus Ret Officials can make up to $9,02 an hour while having fun at the same time. Expert training is provided to all referees and you can gain valuable work experience that you can add to your resume. If you have any questions or want to sign up to referee one of these sports, contact Jue Cascagnette at ext. 5693. Or if you want to umpire slo-pitch, just come out to the meeting on Tuesday, May 21 at 6 pm. in MC 2034 or call Jeff at 747-3960 or 2442300 (leave number).


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office@

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14

SPORTS

IMPRINT,

Friday, May 17, 1996

These spring birds are flying by Patricia Wolcott special to Imprint

T

here are plenty of birds flying around campus this spring and that doesn’t include those messy ducks at Columbia Lake!! With the spring term already under way for three weeks, the Badminton Club has insured that a different migrat ion of birds now reigns over the Columbia Recreation Complex. Tht: Badminton Club meets four times a week at the Columhia Recreation Complex gymnasium. These days are as follows: Mon and Wed : 230 p.m. - lO:30 pm+; Fri : 5:30 p.m. - 8:30 p.m.; and Sat : I130 a.m. - 230 p.m. The Club expect9 approximately one hundred and fifty members this term, in various levels of skill and play. Nevertherless, there is always room to play and plenty of opportunity to meet lots of fantas-

tic people. As for special events this term, the Badminton Club is trying something new. For the first time, a non-advanced tournament for beginner and intermediate level players is being organized. This will help prepare participants for the Club’s end of term tournament. Two or three coaching sessions are also scheduled. These sessions are headed by varsity athletes and cover all levels of play, Otherspecial events include a discount badminton equipment sale with the help of club sponsors and lastly, but certainly not least, infamous club pizza nights! What is the best thing about the badminton club? According to Young Chung, Club executive: “As one of the most popular sports in the world and one of the fastest growing sports in North Americia there is really

no reason why people shouldn’t play badminton. The Club provides players a great place and time to gather and play and learn the sport and most of all HAVE FUN!” People can join the badminton club by showing up to club sessions so long as they are current Campus Recreation members. For only $10, the Badminton Club provides all of the necessary birds, racquets, and nets, plus great chances to meet people, prizes at club events and a fun time! You can learn more about the badminton club by browsing its web site at: <http// www.csclub.uwaterloo.ca/clubs/ badminto> or by reading the n e w s g r O u P <uw.clubs.badminton>. If you have any further questions, please feel free to contact the club executives by e-mail at <badrninto@csclub.uwaterloo.ca>.

Serve, damn it1 photo

courtesy

of Campus

Ret

I got a new way to ROCK! by Sarah Reinhart special b Imprint

.

limbing

the walls, Iooking For something to do? Why don’t you do just that. The most popular (and trendy) growing sport today is sport climbing or rock climbing. I was in t reduced to the sport about five months ago and I haven’t come down since. My friends and II were coaxed into going sport cIimbing one early, hung-over Saturday morning. I thought I was insane at the time. Walking into the gym was like walking intoanotherworld. People were Ii cerally hanging off the walls, grunting and speaking a language of their own. When we lvere changed and ready to get on the walls, I was handed what looked to be a very long and tan@4 seatbelt. I was almost right. It was my harness. After finding out how to put it on and getting into it, we went into the “vertical” room. Standing at the bottom, 24feet doesn’t look that high, but from the top it’s another story. After grunting myselfto the top, I was told by my “belay partner” (the person holding my life in the rope} to let go of the wall, I flat out refused. There was no way I was going to let goofanything, especiallywhat was keeping me from falling 24 feet into a pile of rubber. But I eventually did come down and discovered that it’s really not that bad. After “going vertical” we went into the “bouldering” or LLtraversing” room where there are no harnesses because you’re

C

only a foot off the ground. Basitally, you get on the wall and climb or “traverse” horizontally instead of vertically or there are “caves” you (attempt) to climb out of. This is basically a training room where you can practise

Rock climbers

know

down. I had found my new passion. I personally enjoy it because I can go out and spend three hours totally concentrating on what I’m doing and completely forget about the outside world. Plus, there are a lot of

time

in your life. Now that I’ve gained some skill and knowledge of the sport, I am looking to pursue the competition side. The competitions are scattered everywhere all over at some of the most amazing

how to get some serious hang We. photo

your technique and improve your strength and endurance before you go vertical or outside. I went to the gym once before I went out and bought my membership, because, as I said before, I went up and never came

great people there. Now that the weather has gotten nicer we’ve started taking our new found skills outdoors with a skilled guide. Climbing 24 feet is nothing compared to hanging your ass over a 5O=foot cliff for the first

gyms. others to and at the everyone about

since

by Sara Reinhart

I have only been to two besides the one I belong I was pleasantly surprised layout and how friendly is. I only know a little ‘friendly” competitions, those are the only ones I’ve

ever seen. In a friendly competition, you are only eliminated afteryou’ve completed the selected routes for your class. The classes range from beginner to experienced and open, which includes lead climbing. It was interesting to go out and see the range of climbers. They are anywhere from ten-years-old to senior citizens. The strength and agility they display is incredible. One popular “friendly competition” B Wull Crawl, which is usually held in a series of three competitions at three different gyms. This year W&1 Cruwl was held at Gr&ty in Hamilton, Toronto ClimbingAcatiyin Toronto, and Joe Rock Heads, also in Toronto. If you are interested in trying climbing, I suggest going to your local gym (Nmth Rock in Ki tchener) and getting a day pass. The pass gets you a harness and shoes and a lesson in belaying, which is all you need to get started. Once you get into climbing though, it can get fairly expensive.You need a harness ($80$150), shoes ($ll8-$160), one or several carabineers dependingon what you’re doing (about $12each),abelaydevice (around $40), gloves for rappelling ($20$50), a rope ($150 starting), a chalk bag ($20) and chalk ($5). But if you really like it, it’s well worth it. So go out, and get over that fear of heights crap. Climbing is only for certain people. And it’s pretty easy to find out if you’re one of them, either you’ll like it or you won’t. Besides, there is nothing to fear but fear itself.


IMPRINT,

SPORTS

Friday, May 17, 19%

More CR SM..

What to do this summer by Patricia Woolcott ape&i to Imprint

W

ile many of us have been grumbling about the oh-so-slow and ohsepainful advent of summer this year, we cannot complain about one thing: at least it has given us all a little while longer to get in shape for summer! Where is the best place to do this? Where else but in the CR facilities!? General PAC hours run May

13 -July 19. Hours of operation are as follows.Mon-Thurs: 7 a.m. - 11 p.m., Fri: 8 a.m. -9 p.m. and Sat-Sun: 11 a.m. - 6 p.m. Please note that the pat is closed on Holidays. Now what can one do at the PAC? Plenty of things! Gymansiums may be used any time they are not booked for another program. Squash courts may be booked by calling one day in advance to 888-4567 ext.582 1, Mon-Fri between 8: 15 a.m. and 9 a.m. Courts may also be booked by visiting the PAC, room 2039 Mon-Fri between 8 a.m. and 4115 p.m.

If that doesn’t appeal to you, try the weight room or go for a dip in the pool. Swim times are as follows: Mon-Fri: 7:30 a.m. 0 9 a.m., 11:3Oa.m. - 1:30 p.m., 4~30 p.m. - 5:30 p.m., 9 p.m. - 10 p.m. (except Fridays); and SatSun 2 p.m. to 4 p.m. The Columbia Recreation

Complex is a different story. The gyrnansium at the CRC is open Mon-Thurs: 4 p.m. - 11 p.m.; Fri: 4 p.m. - 9 p.m.; and Sat-Sun: 11 a.m. - 6 p.m. For those looking to escape the hot weather, students may book ice time at CRC for $26.75/ hour Mon-Fri. All bookings must be made one week in advance by noon each Friday with the PAC reservationist. Payment must be made upon the submission of the contract at the time of the booking. Pick-up hockey is also available. Participants are expected to bring their own protective equiptment. Times are as follows: Tues-Thurs: 4 p.m. - 5 p.m. Free skating is also available Tues - Fri: 12 p.m. - 1p.m. Check the weekly CRC schedule for details.

Just swipe 0

rt by Patricia Woolcoti special to Imprint

G

reat news! The PAC is lnally embracing the world of technology! The advent of the new WATCZRD has enabled various scr’c’ices across campus to provide better services to students. Although many of these services have already been in place for several month:s, the PAC is just now hopping on the band-

wagon. Many of you may have noticed that students were asked to swipe their WATCARDs at Campus Recreation registration last week. But wait, many more changes are still in store. CR members are also able to get towels from Equipment Centres by, again, swiping their cards. PAC staff hope this will help to act as a security measure against non-CR members using PA4C facilities.

On that WATCARDs

note, only current are recognized by

the system. If you happen to be on c-p in the Kitchener-Waterloo area you will have to extend your mebership by paying a $13 fee + GST in the PAC office. What lies ahead in the future? PAC staff anticipate that

someday soon, students will be able to pay for CR registration using the WATCARD. Tired of fishing through the CR Pick It Up booklet for cur-

rent information? CR is willing and prepared to meet your needs. CR currently posts to two newsgroups at the university. These are <uw.campus.rec> and <uw.general>. The newsgroups are updated each week and feature

current Although

as comprehensive

CR news. the groups

are not

as the CR Pick

It Up booklet, they do feature plenty of information and they are also extremely convenient and user-friendly. Who knows, perhaps someday the entire booklet will be located o;n the web.

quit... again. ell, MagicJohnson went and retired again. What’s with this guy? I guess we can add indecisiveness to his long list of talents now, along with womanizing, hypo-

W

crite, and, oh yeah, that basketball thing. Magic supposedly wanted to Come back so that his kids could get to see him play. I’m sure he

had other reasons too. He obviously wanted to come back to prove to everybody that he was too slow and out of shape to compete in the league, despite

This makes him look like a quitter. Of course, maybe he realized that he had better quit before things got even worse, which they would have. Either way, it was a no-win situation that Magic should have had the brains to never have gotten himself into in the first place. UQZR

w

= W&e&y

of @dms

en WQTR rested its best players against Waterloo in

the OUAA hockey championship, it ruffled a few feathei-s. The most notable feathers were those of the OUAA executive,

faint flashes of brilliance. He must have desperately wanted to come back to criticize his teammates for bad treatment of officials, so much so that he decided to demonstrate just what not to do to an NBA referee in a game. We must have had a burning desire to cause inner conflict and strife amongst his Laker teammates while ruining the team chemistry. But his biggest desire had to be for the Houston Rockets to upset his now decimated team in the first round of the playoffs. Way to go Magic, you did what you wanted to do, guess it’s time to hang ‘em up again, eh? But not everything was peaches and cream in this comeback. There were prices to be paid for Magic’s return to glory. He had to sell off his share in a

which fined UQ’R $3,000 (its receipts from the OUAA Final Four tournament), put it on probation, and ruled that they cannot host any playoff games next season. Coach Dany Dube whined that he did it because of the treatment that UQTR was getting from officials in the playoffs. Oh no, I don’t like the calls we’re getting so I’m going to deprive people of a potentially great hockey game that they paid gogd money to see. You can use any

successful Laker franchise. Peo-

have to show for it? Nothing.

ple’s memories of Magic may now include some low points that occurred this season. But that’s alright, I’m sure the merits far outweigh the demerits. All kidding aside, I would say Magic’s comeback attempt was a dismal failure. This was an ill-advised move that started out great, but ended on a sour note. To make matters worse, when thingsgot bad, Magicjust up and

Given

flimsy-ass excuse that you want. No matter which way you slice it, they threw the game, and that’s despicable. They got what they deserved, if not too little. UQTR had a great season which saw them ranked number one in the country for nearly the whole year. Now what do they their

actions

in the latter

stages of the season, that’s exactly what they deserve.

Ae

h, the World Wrestling Fedration. Where else can you watch grown men pretend to kick the living shit out of each other? Where else can you see all the tisted storylines that even soap

operas would be ashamed to touch? Where else could you see something like sssssssss... Golddust? Not being prudish, but the WWF has gotten disturbingly sexist lately. The WWF now has T&A that is beginning to rival

Baywatch. If Tamara Sytch (better known as Sunny Bodydonna) isn’t parading around shamelessly showing off her “asset$’ Marc Mere’s escort, known only as Sable, is dressing in tight leather and carrying around a whip, or else Golddust’s “director”

is dressing

in Saran

and acting all sexy with

Wrap the an-

drogenous one. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mindalittle gratuitousT&Aonce in a while. The above is mainly harmless fun and entertainment (indeed, the men that they “manage” are their real life boyfriends or husbands). But one recent development occurring in the WWF is pushing things a little bit to far. Swallow this plot. WWF champ Shawn Michaels is being accused of propositioning Diana Smith, wife of the British Bulldog. Allegations of sexual harassment are not something to

joke

about.

However,

Vince

McMahon and his scriptwriters (oh come on, you didn’t actually thinkthisstuffwasreal,didyou?)

would have the fans believe that she is lying. And of course, the womanizing WWF champ would be the guy I would believe more in a real life situation. My point is that McMahon and the WWF are sending a bad message with this latest plot. It seems to say that all women lie when it comes to sexual harassment charges. While this has sometimes been true in the past, should millions of impressionable WWF fans (scary thought, I know) be led to believe that this is the norm?


Lush w/

Mojave 3 md Scheer operu wouse Saturday, May 4

by Greg Krdchick Imprint staff

Af

new British invasion? Probably not...at least not rom Lush at any rate. The only band left standing after the shoegazer fallout, even with an album as hypercatchy and wonderful aslove@?, they’re certainly still too arty and odd for the average Joe’s ear to wrap itself around. But the biggest rev&ion during their performance was just how well acquainted Lush has become with that animal called “the pop tune.” If this show was anything to go by, they should have all that fame and stardom that bands like Elastica, Radiohead and (gulp) Oasis are enjoying stateside. All the neces.

A rare photo of Miki without

a beer or a dgarette. photo

sary elements for success - clear and memorable lyrics, quick bursts of guitar pop and so forth - were there in spades. Some-

one just needs to As well, Lush sharp focus the change in sound.

From there, if you add in the new songs, and top it off with Lush’s intelligent approach to playing (a healthy though not overdone efFects pedal contingent for instance) presto, you

by Reni Chan

listen. live threw into reason for the A cynical per-

much more direct frontwoman’s. One MBVand the Pixies parisons to Scheer, of sound occasionally difference, but was a look and listen.

the Lush could throw about as comand that sort caused inmostly worth

that

1l

LonaimentCompliments Stereolab w/Cornershop Opma Housk9 Tuesday, May 15

by Greg Imprint

I

Kra-Wick staff

‘II get straight to it - once the venue was decided and the crowd stuffed into the Opera House, the scene was set for an exhibition of sound showing exactly why everyone should be listening to this band. Stereolab and. Cornershop were both concerned not so much with making “songs,” but instead with the intricacies of sound. Such conventions of pop like “words” and “intelligible phrases” were sacrificed in favour of textural layers of music that were quite simply warm and beautiful to the ear. Cornershop are probably best known for angry punk rants about racism and homophobia, but where once the Indian spin on their music was a companion to a Western-style approach, this show was the opposite. The band consisted of a lead singer playing an acoustic guitar, a drummer, a percussionist playing everything from the bongos to keyboards, and a sitar player. The lyrics were half Hindi, hdf English, and entirely garbled. What did

come through was the sound his voice made, rather than the lyrics be sang; akin to the Cocteau Twins, his voice was just another instrument in the mix. Whether or not their change in sound was influenced by the headliners, Cornershop really sounded for all the world like an Indian Stereolab. Long percussion jams were played, the sitar whined and warbled over and over, chord changes were few and far between, the vocals were m&led.. .sound at all familiar? Wherever they got their ideas, their pefiormance blew away any recordings I’ve heard before. But the main attraction here was Stereolab as good as Comershop were, all thoughts of them were wiped away in wake of Laetitia, Tim, and the rest of gang’s onslaught. They started quietly with “Anamorphose” from Mars Audiac Quintet, and from there it seemed that every other song in the set was carefully placed and performed in order to build to a climax. They played a liberal dose of songs from their en tire career, though with a bit of a bias towards ES+ @TOT Tomato &&up works like YCybele’s Revelry,” “Metronomic Underground,” and the rightrocking “The Noise of Carpet.” Regardless of the songs however, once again it was the sound

that was the star of the show. Mary Hansen and Laetitia Sandier are both masters of cooing, ba-ba-ing, and all those other Stereolabian traits, and it’s those melodies that stick in the brain after the show, not whatever they were trying to say in French. As for the band.. two people on keyboards, two on guitar, and a normal bass n’ drum rhythm section have the ability in Stereolab’s hands to create huge hulking walls of sound that don’t so much crash over you as sweep you along their blissful path. Probably their only close competitors in this department would be Spiritualized, who possess much the same dynamic. By the end of the first set the songs were colliding into one another, denying the spectators a break to catch their breath. Lights flashed and swirled. Synthesizers wrapped you in unTim’s guitar earthly tones. squawled and fed back like he was rerecording Whz’teL~g~t/White Heat. All of this combined seemed to put the collective consciousness in the room on endorphin overdrive. After experiencing this at the end of the first set, they-returned for a simple, straightforward tune, followed by.. .well, another monster huge miasma of sound, growing in intensity, until people just

Mcxqgin stood After and tones ended, back

on up. and gaped like landed fish. fifteen minutes of growing coalescing rhythms and and plain craziness, it bringing people’s minds in touch with their bodies.

photo

Truly

by Dave

Fisher

haludnogenic, maaan. Already great on record, Stereolab’s live show will undoubtedly go down as one of the two or three best shows to visit the area this year.


IMPRINT,

17

ARTS

Friday, May 17, 1996

42nd

Street

Centre in the Square May

28 and 29

by Patrick Imprint

Wfis staff

I

t’s been called “the defmitive backstage musical.” It’s 42nd Street, a tapdancing comedy that ran for ten years on Broadway, winning the Tony

the “real world” of 42nd S&&are often sudden, Kessler says it’s not confusing, for the audience or the actors. “For the stuff that happens within the show, the costumes are much bigger and broader, more glitter.” Also, the Troika presentation is a slightly modified one. “Director Tony Parise has changed a couple songs from the original production, and

ences. “Everywhere we go, the show gets an incredible reception. The show starts off, and people are tentative to laugh. They’re not sure what they should be doing - a lot of the jokes are really corny, because they’re right out of the 1930’s. We’ve played several college shows, and I think a lot of college students arejustamazed that they enjoy it so much. Theyjust show

Thedefinitive backstage musical. Award fur Best Musical along the way. In less than two weeks, The Troika Organization, which presents musical theatre on three continents, presents 42nd S&eel at Kitchener’s own Centre in the Square. Imprint spoke to Mark Kessler, who plays the role of Billy Lawler, from his hotel room in Syracuse, NY. 42nd Streetportrays the fittional play Pretty Lady, on and off the set. Even though the transitions between the Betty Lady and

added another one... He was in the original production on Broadway, and he knows thewriters, directors, and producers, so he got the okay from them. I think the changes have fixed some mistakes the play’s had all along. The transitions -between the play and play-within-a-play are smoother now. He added a song for a character, to make the roles more even? Kessler says the play, although based on film from 1933, is still appealing for today’s audi-

up for tickets and they end up really enjoying it, because by the end of the evening they’re all cheering for us.” He adds, “I probably have the corniest lines in the show. But there’s a lot of laughter, and as long as they’re laughing, that’s all that’s important.” 42nd Street plays for two nights only, May 28 and 29th, at Centre in the Square. Tickets, which range from $32 to $42, are available bycalling57&1570 or I (800) 265-8977.

greatest 01all ume The Archers Rivoli Tuesday, April

of Loaf 30

by Dave Fisher special t0 Imprint

B

lasting into the intimite confines of the Rivoli for their first Toronto appearance in over a year, the Archers of Loaf show shaped up to be one of the more eagerly antici-

prepubescentweezerfansshouting”playtheSweatersong!!“Suhweet, or so many of the fans expected, Alas, the “best laid plans” and all the rest saw to it differently. Truth be told this was a weak performance by the Archers and their fans’ standards. It started off well enough with the band kicking into a super-charged “Lowest Part is Free,” but then got bogged down

They’ve got it all wrong pated concerts of the Spring season. Their last show in town was in a supporting role for Weezer in the comparatively vast RPM Wm-ehouse, so marry Archers fans who’d stayed away that time were printed and ready. Here the Chapel Hill qllartet would be headliniq their- own show, the ticket prices were affordable, and best of all the show was set in a srnm;~ll club without a hoard of

into a mire of new and unreleased material with which none of the audience was familiarized. Indeed, of the evening’s short

14

song

set,

all

but

the

most die-hard fans were left scratching their heads to at least 7 or 8 of them. Fair enough, the band should be permitted the opportunity to stretch themselves and develop unrecorded material on

stage, but even the selection of the remainder of the set had fans’ feet rooted squarely to the floor and their bodies immobile. Hard to believe this was an Archers show, where typically the ferocity on stage and the frenzied bodies below make for a highly intense and memorable evening. Instead, the show never took flightandtheArchersnevergave themselves space to display their true potential. Completely ignored were the band’s barn-storming “hits” “Wrong,” “Web in Front,” UAudiowhore,” and “Harnessed in Slums,” as were the fans numerous calls for any of them. In fact, their brilliant debut album Icky Mettle was totally overlooked, andVee Veeand the new singles-and-rarities collection TheS@vd of Cattle were given only cursory glances. When recognizable tunes were played, they inevitably turned out to be of the passive “The Greatest of All Time” (the song, not the EP) variety Consequently, fans were disappointed and the curious weren’t made believers.

By show’s end it took a while to sink in that, yeah, the new stuff was pretty good, but checking in at under an hour and with the omission of so many terrific favourites, it was just as easy to feel a little bit cheated.

I

.*tickets available at Fed Office and

HMV-Waterloo*

1.

a\1 shows

produced

YbsIlb Ru thnClI-2 I -subzIabIuII of Students I

Rnnt


18

ARTS

IMPRINT,

Friday, r May 17, 1996

Themostconservative manin America Rush Limbau h is a Big Fat ldio B and Other Observations by Al Franken Delacorte Press 271 pages, $29.95

by Dave Lynch Imprint sldf

A

s you might guess from the title, subtlety is not his book’s strong point. But this is to be expected when it’s coming from one of l.he writers for Saturday Night Live, home of the “if it’s flmny once, it’s funny a thousand times” school of thought. Fortunately though, this book is better than an episode of SNL. The book is Franken’s take on the revived right wing in the

U.S., with special attention given to Rush Limbaugh. Intent on producing good satire, Franken employs tie methods suggested by Newt Gingrich’s political action committee, GOPAC. According to Franken, the advice given out to Republicans by GOPAC ranges from “Go Negative Early” to “use minor details to demonize” the opposition. Accordingly, Franken ceaselessly makes fun of Rush Limbaugh’s weight, Gingrich’s “deadbeat dad” status and various other Republicans. Itworks, but it’s hit and miss. Some bits are priceless, such as Franken’s conversations with Limbaugh’s fact checker. Others are like SNI, skits that should never have been put in print: “Operation Chickenhawk” is a

GET’EM WHZLE YOU’RE HOT.? Fudge Oreo Cappuccino Skor Mint Smarties

chapter devoted to the fictional story of a Vietnam platoon manned by, among others, Limbaugh, Gingrich, Oliver North, Phil Gramm, and Pat Buchanan. It should be furiny, but it just isn’t. Maybe Lorne Michaels would be interested... When he’s not wasting entire chapters, Franken actually gets to down to business, examining the positions of &m-rightwing politicians like Pat Buchanan. He takes quotes, excerpts from their books, and anything else he can get his hands on to expose their agenda for what it really is. Two things become apparent: one, that Franken is a Harvard graduate and actually something of ajournalist; and two, that Buchanan and company are hypocritical

Ati le of deception, evi magic and love The Magic Flute Centre in the Square Wednesday, May 8

14ozor16oz.

$1.99 On sale from May 13 to 26196

and really, really fucking scary. The social views of these characters are just unbelievable. Really unbelievable. Needless to say, the book confirms suspicions your about Rush Limbaugh and the others, even if the satirical aspect might suffer from the lack of subtlety and even wit at times. However, it is good -just not 30 bucks-type good. Wait for the paperback, and then have yourself a frightening laugh.

by Patrick Imprint

Wilkins stiff

N

ever trust a woman.* It’s one of the basic messages that one finds in The Magic Hute. Politically. incorrect now, but at the time of composition, Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart was dying. It’s excusable that his last year on earth he would write an opera condemning the dark and deathly Queen of the Night. Whatever the content, the

the dialogue would be spoken in English. Monastatos bridged the gap between 1’791 German opera and 1996 English audience through the modern edition that included dirty jokes in both languages. The curtains open, and our hero Prince Tamino (tenor Benjamin Butterfield) ran across the stage, followed closely by a twelve-foot-tall dragon. You thought Phantom uf the U@ru was exciting? Try some baroque opera- huge monsters slain by beautiful women, Masonic rituals in dark temples, dark queens riding on clouds. It’s a tale of decep

Tamino in every scene the two share. The most entertaining character, however, was Gerald Isaac’s Monastatos. The depraved servant of Sarastros is an unusual choice for a comic character, but Isaac’s energy brings a level of life to Monastatos that is only occasionally reached by the other characters. Even when forcing himself on Pamina, Queen of the Night’s daughter (played by Shari Saunders), the audience can empathize with the unloved creature. Set designer William Schmuck created surprising threedimensionality out of sim-

Weber at University ; Westrnou~ It at University ; King at John

The Magic Flute is recognized as one ofMozart’s finest; an excellent conclusion of the ‘KitchenerWuterloo Opera’s inaugural season

UWStudentl’#e 8uilding (CampusCentre- dowrhrs by theBunk)- 8843010 dxai our other Location:146KingSt West, Kitchener- 743-8315

music is inescapable. A mixture of speech and singing, the SingspieEoperatic style lead to the development of the European operetta, from which comes our modern musical. The MagicHute is recognized as one of Mozart’s finest, and was an excellent choice for the conclusion of the Kitchener-Waterloo Opera’s inaugural season. Opera Atelier, with members of the former Hamilton Philharmonic, brought the show to Centre in the Square for the one-night only, sold-out performance. Before the curtain rose, the show was introduced by Monastatos, who explained that this performance would be sung in German with’supertitles and

tion,

evil, magic and love. It’s difficult to tell which aspects of plot and characterization are due to the director, and which to librettist Emmanuel Schikaneder. The plot has holes bigger than a Hollywood movie, but that wasn’t Mozart’s fault. He merelywrote the music, beautifully intricate as usual, but as whimsical as the tale would suggest. Director Marshall Pynkoski appears to have focused on the comic aspects, script’s underplaying the darker, ritualistic side that is rumoured to have led to Mozart’s death at the hands of betrayed Masons. Birdxatcher Papageno (Russel Braun) outshines his companion Prince

ple flats. The backdrop for Sarastro’s temple, for example, was so perfectly created that it was nearly impossible to see it not as a curved wall, and the pyramid looked solid even when being raised offstage. Costumes too were lavish - Sarastro (Gary Relya) wore a robe made completely of ancient gold brocade, as befits the High Priest of the Temple of Wisdom. Every one of over forty characters was decked with striking colour and contra$t. The KW Opera’s second season features Mozart’s COG Fun Tutte as well as Camden (Bizet) and La Bohr (Puccini). With the quality of the first season’s performances, K-W residents have a lot to look forward to.


19

ARTS

IMPRINT, Friday, May 17, 1996

You’d prefer a canker sore y*****

Stephen The

Imprint

Page Inteniew

by Patrick Imprint

Wilkins staff

‘The Barenaked playing Centre on Wednesday, promote their

Ladies in the

will be square

May 22, to new albumBm

on a@-aMzip. Singer Stephen Page took some time to talk to Imprint

the top of the charts. was a big success for us. I was four years old at the time. Just like Mozart when he wrote &at fiit opera - have you written any operas? Yes! It’s called, “Have You Seen My Underpants?” It was a very short run, but it was an opera. It just played for a couple nights, here in Toronto. Could you sing something from that? Well, you know the song, “I-Iave You Seen My Underpants” - it was sung by Dionne Warwick. “Have you seen my underpants / They came- from Gibraltar.” You know that one. And that was kinda a big hit single for us. And of course, Andrew Lloyd Webber got onto it, So, now you see your work reflected in Cati, which is of course just a translation of Underbunts into GerThat

recently.

What was it like being in Led Zepplin? It was not a bad experience - the problem was that Robert Plant got all the girls. Otherwise it was fine. But your solo album was kind of off, don’t you think? I enjoyed the Page-Plant one. I was more disappointed by the Coverdale-Page record.

Why did you tie that stupid sign on the front? Because I thought that “two roads converging” wds basically how I felt at that time in my career. You wrote “Black Dog” at a time when you were heavily into heroin use... Was your drug addiction part of your work at the time? Yeah. As you know, I didn’t really have that much to do with the lyric writing at that time. I was more into the string arrangements and a lot <If the big-band charts. But I was making sure that all of our horn players were shooting up, as well as myself. And then Led Zepplin 4 went to

has been on a hold for the last twenty years. People don’t seem to understand Led Zepplin anymore. Well, I think that’s coming back with the resurgence of some older bands, like Human League and Heaven 17, and so forth. What are they like? A lot like Led Zepplin. They’re some of the new bands that people are getting into these days. Right. So I turn on my radio, and think, “Oh God, that new Tori Amos song, that’s just a Stephen Page tiff.” I think the big thing is that people don’t realize that I invented what is known in this decade as

“music.” I’m not going to complain that I’m not getting the credit, but I will admit that it is all me that did it. Where

are you

living

now?

I’m living in a condo in Why Boston? That was my favourite the 70’s. Not Alabama? No. Although they were enjoyed it when they “Some Mountain Music” was about it. Music, of course, being vention. I invented it as well, so

Boston. band

.,.bmthtaking images,razor sharppop and very groovymusic. 'STRMVGLY SUSPENSFUL! smsibilitier, Addkh!” - CameronBailey,NOW Magazine a humane & inteligent WI.” - BruceWilliamson,PLAYBOY

JASONPATRK ThWVDIE NEWTON

of

good, I played but that your

in-

I may

as

well just choose the band I like the best. And Boston had wonderful hair. Now we’re getting into 1996. Your last album moved, like ten copies in the discount bin at KMart. And you’re playing Centre in the Square in Kitchener. Who are you playing with there? I’m playing with a band called Sandbox, and there’s a band called Barenaked Ladies also on the bill. I hear they really suck. Uh-huh. What do you think of the BNL personally? I think there’s four or five people in the group. What do you think of their MUsic? I haven’t heard anything of theirs - not since the early ’80s. Do you have any messages for people who want to come out to Centre in the Square? Especially given the fact that we know the Barenaked Ladies are this awful band, holdovers from the ‘7Os? Well, you know what they say. Everything from the ’70s is cool. So it’s cool to be retro? Absolutely. What happens when it’s no longer cool to be retro? You mean when people try to be “now” and “contemporary?” I frown on that. I don’t like it when people try and act their own age. What age do you act at? About 75. Because then I get into the movies cheaper. Are you a dinosaur? I would say I”m a dinosaur. But I’m a dinosaur who won’t go away, like an alligator.

TOIJRNF;Y

0

UST KIN& FIVEDAYEMAGEMENTl! :rLM~y17toMdluy20@~ lkirrr, Mav 21 l

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Out

of the

Wild by Lois Sherman Imprint staff

by Patrick Imprint

Wdkins staff

Order Eight in the Kitchmer-Waterluo Wizdl~eSm~s. cQlzi?ct cdl thirty six! Common Name: my neighbour Ned ( A/l. Buss~‘) Habitat: Coffeehouses, hotels, benefit concerts. Recently sighted with Matt Osborne, The Shannon Lyon Pop Explosion and the Skydiggers. Soon to mibriefly North-bygrate Northeastwards in hopes of terr-i torial expansion. Description: Bipedal omnivorous singer-songwriter. Nocturnal by necessity. Characteristic vocalizations may be found on CD Fish Out of Water, as well as demonstrations of basic tool use (guitars and percussion). Frequen tly accompanied by Christine (Daaenu, family of exceptionally gifted songbirds). Music, although usually docile, may sonically attack without warning. Approach with expectation. Comments: Wild and free-ranging, my neighbour Ned is a frequent and welcomed sight in the Kitchener-Waterloo region, although he may he heard throughout Southern Ontario. First CD Fish 0111 of Wotpr captures won-

by Patrick

‘Wilkins

Imprint staff The Winnipeg music scene reads like a soap opera script. Just when you thought Banned from At Ian tis were getting somewhere, gigs with Hayden and regular Ontario G-play, they sink out of sight. Then Doug from said BFA resurfaces, guitar and vocal mic in hand. He, fellow Garage Person Bob, Russ from Artificial Joy (and before that, the infamous Kittens), and crazyhaired bassist Mike collectively change their names to Bonaduce, release what could be the year’s greatest indie cassette, and run

derf--1ly the sounds of my neighbour Ned as may be heard in his natural habitat. Produced in DSP Waterloo with minimal edits or overdubs, the recording has a raw and honest feel that will be familiar to KW nature-watchers and concert-goers. The assistance of Christine Deneau (additional vocals on “Idea,” “Pieces of You,” and more) and Andy Macpherson (bongos and other percussion) help to expand my neighbour Ned’s music on most tracks, mak-

ing fish Out of Water an important addition to the music lover’s collection. As fine as Fish Out uf Water may be, however, it is still no substitute for venturing into the depths of the Volcano, Fed Hall, the Beat, or any other of my neighbour Ned’s frequent venues, and listening to the creature itself. But for those long, rainy Mondays, just sitting by the fire, Fish Out of Water is the closest it get.3 to a concert in your own home.

off to Ontario for a while to avoid the telephone police. Mike, meantime, is in a few other bands, including the highly radiefriendly Buick 6. He joins theCheerleadersquadwithother renegades, including fellow B6er Matt, death-metal guitarist Chris from Officer Down, and drummer Dan, who co-runs the Endearing Records label and pounds skins for B’ehl. B’ehl are also Mel, Alison, and Andrea, three young ladies who met at the Winnipeg premiere ofkhtletimd decided that they could sing and play much better than Keanu Reeves could act. The soap-opera arrangement is one that works precisely because of its complexity. Each band serves as an outlet for its members’ varying musical personalities. Cheerleader, for example, keep well to the windward side of pop, with melodious harmonies and soft user-friendly lyrics. On their latest 7” EP,

Cheerleader provide a song based on an unused Hardship Post title (“Why Don’t You and I Smooth Things Over?” with three other poppy tracks. “On My Side” slides along like “Luxury’‘-style Tragically Hip, while “Truckin “’ competes with their previous 7” offering “Useless Feelings” for the self-admitted “cheesiest lyrits ever written” award. Catchyriffs, sweet lyrics, twopart-harmonies. Do you have a problem with that? I don’t. Not when four rockin’ (with a capital apostrophe) songs are etched into two sides ofseven-inch vinyl. The Bonaduces, on the other hand, play the most head-banging-yet-intellectually-stimulating good 01’ +nk music this side of Bad Religion. And B’ehl have conquered Cub (by Dan’s good looks and drumming skills alone) as holders of the “Cutest Band in Canada” title with their charming “Again” songs on their 14 and Crushed split single with Cheerleader. Put them together,

For most artists, switching musical styles can be a difficult and unpopular task. (Take Alanis Morrissette - please.) So when one of Canada’s favourite rappers decides to become a rock star, it’s one of the most suprising moves since... well,yououghttaknowwho I’m talking about. The artist this time is Merlin, no names added or removed since his debut rap&roll fusion A Noise Supme ‘way back in 1993. A Noise Su.emq of course, was a long way from being just hip-hop. From start to finish Merlin was a Raggadeath-style fusionist, building guitar riffs on top of funky (“capitalize FUNKY) beats. It was a damn fine album, giving Merlin feature stories in most major Canadian indie music mags, gigs at some cool shows, etc. etc. etc. And now, a new CD from Merlin himself. I was eager to hear how the boy had improved during his absence from the music scene. Popped in Merlin’s Arcade, ready for another dose of hiphop/ rock fusion from a fairly promisBut something haping artist. pened to Merlin sometime in the last three years. There’s no hip hop, no rap, no beats, no funk. There is, however, one hip hop convention that Merlin still maintains the obligatory selfreferencing lead+ff track. “The Playboy Interview” (first single and by far the best song) begins, “My favourite book is TV Guide...” and gives a little autobiography. Then “If you’re wondering he explains, where the fuzz is/and you’re wondering where the raps are/then you never really knew me!” So there it is. Merlin has changed formats! He’s now a

and, far from disappearing in a cloud of sub-atomic particles, one gets The Music of B’tM and the Bmaduces, a see-thru cassingle wherein each contributes one original and one cover of the other. It would be great to hear more from B’ehl soon, but for now “Gompromise” will have to do, as will their cover of “Really Powerful Telescope .” The latter combines the toughness of the Bonaduces with B’ehl’s harmonies to bring out

rocker! That explains everything. Like how boring this album is. Like how every track is cornposed of the same four notes repeated over and over until the song comes meandering to a halt. Like how the lyrics are so inane, one has to wonder why they’re printed so visibly on the CD package. Like how there’s no depth, no energy, and no life to any of the nine tracks here. Like how every song sounds discomfortingly like the last. We never really knew you, Merlin? We knew you were a

fine rapper. We knew you could lay down some fine grooves and samples. We knew the rock part was pretty basic, but hey, you were one of the few. Perhaps, Merlin, you don’t know yourself. In going from rock and hip-hop tojust rock, you’ve lost what made your music special. And Merlin, you’ve always had a soft spot for us critics. In A N&e &@re??ze, you rapped, “Maybe I should give you the benefitof the doubt, but you’re just a writer for a dumb rock magazine.* In M&n’s Arcade, you sing, “Critics like you get the album for free... How can you rate me only one star?w Easily, Merlin. ThaS dumb writer thinks you should get your head out of your Arcnde and get back to what you do best. For now, though, Merlin’s Arcade doesn’t rate one star. It rates half a star.

the full effect of the felinicious lyrics. It just might be better The than the original. Bonaduces tracks, on the other hand, are a little more standard than their Matching Socks, Missing Feet release, but I’11 take Winnipeg over SoCal punk crap any day. Endearing Records, PO Box 69009, 2025 Cmydm Ave, Winnipeg, MB R3P 2G9, or mail en&m%mbnet. mb. ca.


IMPRINT,

Friday,

21

ARTS

May 17, 1996 goes to art school// I gotta a art school girlfriend yeah.” Only stands to reason, Scott. The only track that doesn’t make me angry is “Lady Picture Show.” Although it is very retro sixties, a la Kravitz and others, it is a catchy tune. An album is not

by Andrew Henderson Imprint staff

worth buying on the merit of Subtitled “Songs from the Vatican Gift Shop,” this latest offering from Scott Weiland and company is disappointing. In fact, the album could rightfully be subtitled “Songs Pulled from Outta My Ass. n Why, after the gem that was Pu@Q, do the Stone Temple Pilots think they can get away with this crap? The first single, “Big Bang B&y,” is mundane and lyrically uninspired. “I got a picture of a photograph. . .” just about sayi it alc i liked this song better when it was first released as “Jumpin’ jack Flash,” (it’s a gas, gas, gas). Perhaps the band is counting on the youth of

their audience, hoping for a fan hse

devoid

of knowledge

of the

Rolling Stones. “Art School Girl” is another flop, containing lyrics that make “The Name Game” look profound. “I gotta girlfriend, she

by Maryann Malloy - specials to Imprint Groresquc beauty is the only wav to describe the work of Norway’s Fleurety. By incorporating peaceful pop pieces with degenera ti\pe Norwegian Black these European freaks have created an eclectic masterpiece. In fact Flcurety’s Min 7% Skznl Komme can best be summed up as Dark Throne meets Donovan with the vocal line closely mirroring Dark Throne and the melodies reminiscento1‘6Wspoprock. ltmakes me wonder, what kind of bizarre

by Klaus

St&en

special to Imprint Simply put, this is a GREAT album. It’s been ages since I’ve heard anything this new, this fresh, and this free of useless guitar noise. I wasn’t really a Be1 Canto fan when I got this. The only thing I knew about them WAS that “Goth” people liked

them. At any rate, I just saw it I+ng there and figured, “What the hell, this could be fun!“. So I pick&l it up, brought it home, listened to it, listened to it again, and again, and again, and well, you get the idea. 1 don’t think it left my CD player for at least a ~cek. I’d heard and read good rhi~~~,~;-ihorlttl~ishandforawhile, and this alb~n proved all the l-u1110111’s true. From start to finish, this is a

one track alone however, so wait for the single or someone to play it on the radio. 1’11 be the first to admit that I am a STP fan, but this effort is

not up to their previous standard. Unlike their last two albums,

2%~

Music.

. + demon-

strates tiny talent, tiny inspiration, and success.

a tiny

possibility

for

chemical have the Fleurety bunch been abusing? The best part of the album are the vocal lines. The classic Norwegian Black is contrasted sharply wi th the beautiful female parts which are all sung in Norwegian adding to the mysterious ambiance Fleuret)r create. My frzvorite part occurs halfway through the disk when even the clean vocal lines degenerate into what appears to be the sound track for a Satanic porno with a

pack of female howling

passionately

lyconthropes for

their

fact it may be said that Fleurety, along with Misanthropy labelmates In The Woods, are revolutionizing the whoIe Norwegian Black scene by injecting freshness and musical integrity into it’s folds. Fleurety are making sure that those of you who be-

dark overlord.

lieve that the two-chord compo-

Milz Tid Skal Komma is dark yet danceable which may result in a wide appreciation of the band should they procure some descent album distribution. In

sitions

fabulous disc. The music on this disc is essentially an amalgam of world, ambient,jazz, techno, and atmospheric styles. And it al1 works SO well, although, I suppose I should qualify that a bit. The title track and the reprise of it are a bit of a snore. However, they comprise only about three minutes, and there’s always that ‘skip’ thingy. (Ahhh, the magic

of Kate Bush and Annie Lennox, she can howl like a banshee, coo like an angel, and do the sultry jazz singer thang and still sound great in every way. Some of the better tracks include “In Zenith,” “Freelunch In The Jungle,” “Rumour,” and “Bombay.” It’s up beat, mellow, relaxing, the kind of stuff you can listen to anywhere and with anyone who has good taste. As an added bonus, they also tossed in an “abstract hip-hop” mix of “Rumour.” On the whole, this is just a fantastic album, perfect for any occasion; just scanning through it I knew it was great. The only problem is, you haven’t heard it! So go out and buy it! If you’re like me - depressed because the only “new” music involves some short-haired wankers singing about peaches - go out and get this album. I guarantee that you will NOT be disappointed. If you like Be1 Can to already, you ‘II, knowwhat I’m talking about, and if not, you will.

free of useless guitar noise of digital audio!) Anyway, the lyrics are beautiful and the music is even better. MagicBoxmanages to mix old world instruments and modern technology perfectly; from drum machines to violins and steel guitar, it all meshes beautifully. And that voice! Anneli Wrecker has got an incredible voice. Reminiscent

of Dark

Throne

and May-

hem are indicative of Norwegian Black will be forced to abandon your dated Black Metal heuristics!

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22

ARTS

IMPRINT,

Friday, May 17, 1996

its a &side.

by Patrick Imprint

W-s staff

Fate

can be funny sometimes. Take the indie music world. Thousands of small bands, each member holding down day jobs during the day and rehearsing and playing at night, nearly every one hoping for a shot at the big money. Maybe not even world fame; just the chance to play one’s music and make a living at it. The chances are remote. Once in a while, though, the benevolent and all-knowing hand of MCA, or Geffen, or Warner swoops down to pluck from amidst the sea of artists that one special musician, with the talent to please the entire world. Then again, sometimes they just pick crap. Take Son, for example, now Warner Music Car&a recording artist with a nice contract, a headline tour, and prominent display space in major record stores. The great Canadian success story, right? The music will prevail, n’est cepas? The only problem is, some hands just aren’t worth it. Why the hand of fate (guided by a Warner music talent rep) settled upon Son is a complete mystery. But somehow, Son ended up

by Sarah Reinhart special to Imprint

I

I came, I sat and I listened. Expected only the best and I got it. The new 54-?0 album is great. The first is startling, catching the attention of anyone listening, The rest of the CD follows suit beautiflilly. It’s an excellent mix of their past two albums Smiling fhddhn Cabart? and Dear Dear. The cross between the two sounds plus the incredible lyrics makes this CD a fav for all 54-40 fans. If you haven’t been a fan before, DOW is a great time to come out and give them a listen. Their own style and flavour gives them an edge that only very few bands have achieved in the past. They have been able to achieve a

dollars of major-label money. It is my humble task to warn anyone who’s read this far to avoid succuming to the propaganda. Son are (Ja)SON Beck, his computer, and guitar-bass-drums

your standard folks. Beck is

the leader and programmer,

and

the music is heavily technologically-oriented. Think Spookey Ruben. Then forget Spookey Ruben. Son isn’t worthy of the comparison. Son’s main influence is rather obvious. There’s the album title, of course, and 9Zan’t Feel,” I upon hearing searched through the credits, sure that the song was an Artist unique and pleasing sound. This is probable their finest album yet, like you could expect any less. What I’ve come to learn is thatyoueither like them oryou don’t. There is no in between. Another great 1thing about the album is that each song has the city and country it was written in beside the title of the tune. Which adds a little bit of a personal feeling to the CD. The tune Chem up Perm was written in Lausannes, Switzerland. Cool eh? Their lyrics have always been consistent in class and integrity and the again proved me right. The songs are fun, explosive in sound and meaning. Check out the tune S&k it to Milbe if you don’t believe me. This Canadian band has proved themselves time and time again and 1 am proud to say I am a devoted fan. Canadian music has come along way and 54&l has to. Aside from the in-yourface attitude of Smiling Budda Cabaret this album has a more relaxing atmosphere. For those of you who are fans, this album is necessary and for those of you who aren’t, you suck. Check out their web site if you want to sample some tunes or just checkout the band at www.music.sony.com/Canada. It’s worth your time.

crap. The first son;, “Joke,” is very competent. It has intelligent lyrics, a catchy beat and excellent use of electronic samples and nosie. It’s good straightforward pop, the kind of first single that gold records are made of. It’s‘ the kind of song that promises a great future, for the artist and the album. There are a few more decent songs hidden in the first half of the album. Nothing else, unfortunately, even gets close to power of the first song, and halfway through, the album feels like it should be over over. Three-quarters of the way through, it feels annoying. By the sixteenth track, you’ll feel like tossing it out the window and seeirig how far it flies. It’s a shame that major-label money is being wasted on promoting a mediocre product when Canada is rich with intelligent, complex bands. Ah, but if CFIW’s playing it and HMV has it on Special Feature, most pee ple won’t give a shit what I think. You, however, have been warned.

by Greg &&hick Imprint staff There is something quintisentially British about both The Auteurs (which I resolutely refuse to put in small case as printed on the album) and the album After Murder Park.

by Dennis Ceh special to Imprint Wow! An album cover with a robot on it. Yes, that is the main reason I picked up “Colossal Head”. This cover and accompanying artwork confused nie since it looked more like a Kraftwerk album than one from Los Lobos. Traditionat rhythms, straight ahead rock ‘n roll and R&B grooves is exactly what Los Lobos is famous for. They have received praise of the record industry a countless number of limes, and won many awards (including three Grammys) because to this. Over their 20 plus year history they have released several albums, a few soundtracks (Desperado and La Bamba), and a record for children. In my opinion “MasY Mas” is possibly the best track on the alburn. With the short yet sweet guitar solos and the fast paced mixture of english and Spanish lyrics you can see why. This song has been released on there first single, however I don’t knowwhy

all of this perfectly, possessing a vaguely Beatles-esque quality (the darker tracks on Abbqr Rmzd especially) that is also irrevokably linked with Dear Old Blighty. Keyboards and cello gent James

Banbury adds those big string yawns, further contributing to

“Maricela” is also worth listening to. It san be described as a traditional, yet romantic, mexican folk song. You feel that you are being serenaded by a mariachi band in some sheik mexican villa. The first three tracks are fairly good, however the rest of the album is a little too bluesy for me. “Colossal Head” suddenly

changes into a poor blues funk thing. The rest of this album is simply evil. Extra evil since the remaining songs account for about three quarters album. I enjoyed the first few songs but then with the sudden switch into a nasty blues funk thing, “Colossal Head” didn’t exactly turn my crank. Only ifyou can’t get your fill of the blues, I wouldn’t suggest getting the latest from “Los L,obos”. &Twenty years/Married lover/Twentyyears/Mixingalcoho1 and downers” and

to a lazy this is be-

fore he details the physical abuse. Egads!

Like I said though, it all This is the band’s third album, and arguably their strongest yet. There’s no big dancable

works.

the mood and atmosphere of the album. And the lyrics? Well crafted

single like “Lenny Valentine,” those who fell in love with

and intelligent are only the only way to describe Haines’ writing. Oh yes, and morbid. “Tomb stone, Tombstone, got a gun/ We’ve got all the women and children/All tied up for fun” goes a track called uTombstone.n “Married to a Lazy Lover” is a doomed relationship from hell

Could I Be Wrong,” the single from their first album New Wave, till not be disappointed. And for fans of, say, Tom Waits or Nick Cave, this may be a band worth discovering. Share some greased tea with Luke...‘cause every day is silent and grey.

but

“How

Right from the cover, displaying dark outlines of forboding looking trees, to the ominous titles like “Everything You Say Will DestroyYou” and “Tombstone,” there’s a certain Sleepy Hollowness to this whole project. The centre man in this sullen world is Luke Haines, and it’s his voice, delivery,

and lyrics that compel the listener into this world of gloom. Haines is one of those gifted artists that makes youfeel his pain, or sometimes those of others whom he sings about. The topics are so relentlessly downcast that a lesser vocalist might make this stuff laughable, but Haines comes through with style. The band in the background of Haines%ngettes complement


r

SCHUARSHIPS

Applications for the following awards are being accepted during the Spring Term. Refer to section 4 of the Undergraduate Calendar for further criteria. Unless otherwise stated, scholarship application deadline is June 28, 1996. Bursaries may be submitted during the term, until the first day of examinations. Application forms are available in the Student Awards mice, 2nd Floor, Needles Hall.

ALL

FACULTIES

C.U.P.E. local 793 Award - available to Union employees, their spouse, children or grandchildren for extra-curricular/community involvement. Deadline: May 31, 1996. Ron Eydt Travel Award - available to undergraduate students who are planning to participate in one of the approved exchange programs. Based on financial need, leadership and campus involvement. Deadline: May 31, 1996. University of Waterloo Staff Association Award - available to full or part-time undergraduates in a degree program. Applicants must be current Staff Association members, their spouses, children, grandchildren or dependents and will be based on academics, extra-curricular involvement ;;;lnancial need. Deadline: May 3 1, Douglas T. Wright Award - available to all who have participated in an internationat work placement. Students to apply upon return to full-time study at UW. Deadline: October 15, 1996. Doublas T. Wright Experience in Japan Award - available to all who have participated in a work placement in Japan. Students to apply upon return to full-time study at UW. Deadline: October 15, 1996. Tom York Memorial Award - available to all for short fiction - not essays. Deadline: December 31 each vear.

FACULTY OF APPLIED HEALTH SCIENCES Ross and Doris Dixon Award - available to all 28 and 4A for financial need and academic Achievement. Deadline: October 11, 1996. Andrea Fraser Memorial Scholarship - available to 3rd or 4th year Kinesiology. Deadline: October 11, 1996. Robed Haworth Scholarship - completion of 3rd year in an honours program in resource management related to Park Planning and Management, Recreation, Natural Heritage or Outdoor Recreation. Deadline: May 31, 1996. Kate Kenny Memorial Award - available to 4A Kinesiology with an interest in rehabilitative Medicine. Deadline: October 31, 1996. Ron May Memorial Award - available to 4A Recreation and Leisure. Deadline: October 11, 1996.

FACULTY OF ARTS Arts Student Union Award - available to all Arts students. Quintext Co-op English Award -available to 4A English. Deadline: September 30, 1996.

FACULTY OF ENGINEERING J.P. Bicker1 Foundation Bursaries available to all Chemical students. Canadian Posture and Seating Centre Scholarship -available toall. Deadline: October 11, 1996. Canadian Society for Civil Engineering Award - available to all Civil and Mechanical students with an interesl in Building Science. Students to contact B. Neglia in Civil Engineering. Keith Carr Memorial Award - available to 3rd or 4th year Chemical. Consulting Engineers of Ontario ScholarshIp - available to all 3A. Dow Canada Scholarship - available to 3A chemical Engineering. S.C. Johnson & Son Ltd. Environmental Scholarship - available to 4A Chemical. Deadline: May 31, 1996.

I

SCHOLARSHIPS

A.C, Neilsen Company Bursary - available 2nd, 3rd & 4th year Computer Engineering. Ontario Hydra Engineering Awards available to 1 B Chemical, Electrical, Environmental or Mechanical. Eligible candidates will be women, aboriginal (native) Canadians, persons with disabilities or visible minorities. Deadline: July 31,1996. Ontario Progesdonal Engineers Foundation Undergraduate Scholarship available to all 1 B & 2B based on extracurricular and marks. Deadline: July 31,1996. Alan W. Shattuck Memorial Bursary available to 4th year Civil. Suncor Bursaries - available to all Chemical or Mechanical. Jack Wiseman Award - available to 3A or 4A Civil.

FACULTY OF ENVIRONMENTAL STUDIES Robert Haworth Scholarship - completion of 3rd year in an honours program in resource management related to Park Planning and Management, Recreation, Natural Heritage or Outdoor Recreation. Deadline: May 31, 1996. Marcel Pequegnat Scholarship - available to 38 Planning. Deadline: May 31, 1996.

FACULTY

OF MATHEMATICS

Bell Sygma Comptuer Science Award available to 4A Computer Science. Certified Management Accounting 8ursary - available to full-time students in Mathematics-Business Administration/ Chartered Accountancy/Management Accountancy. Preference will be given to students who attended high school in counties of Perth, Waterloo or Wellington. K.C. Lee Computer Science Scholarship - available to 2B Computer Science. AC Nielsen Company Bursary - available to all in 2nd, 3rd and 4th year. Sun Life of Canada Award - available to 28 Acturial Science.

FACULTY OF SCIENCE J.P. Bickell Foundation Bursaries - available to all Earth Sciences, Down Canada Scholarship - available to 3A Teaching Option.

Attention Co-op students graduating in 1996/97 who will be off-campus in the Fall. (September-December). Come to an Information Sesion that will explain the Graduating Student Employment Service on Wednesday, May 22,1996 from 3:30 to 4:30 p.m. -Theatre of the Arts, ML. Similar sessions will be offered to all other graduating students, September 11 & 12. Session Topics are Important Dates & deadlines, CACEE Application Forms and Application Procedures, Career Preparation - Workshops, Employment Network Publication. Certificate Program in teaching English as a second language at The Waterloo Centre for Applied Linguistics Inc. For info call (519) 725-9070. The Canada Employment Centre for Students (CDC-S) opened Thursday, May 2, 1996. The Centre is located at 29 King St., E., Kitchener between Queen and Benton Sts. The telephone number is 744-8151. Calling all writers! If you write poetry, short stories or essays you could be a winner of prizes totalling $1,000. Calt 82441 20. ext. 3338 at the Universitvof Gueloh.

Calling all cyclists! The two-day Noranda Forest MS Bike Tour for Multiple Sclerosis takes place August 17 & 18, 1996 through scenic communities between Waterloo & Guelph. To register or volunteer, call (519) 680-7878. Travelled Japan? or taught English there? We’d like to talk about your experience. Please call Brian or Esther at 576-7939.

Unique home based business . .. imagine _.. earn income while you sleep. Do you want to build someone else’s dream or your own? Positive, results-oriented alternative TV network and virtual shopping. 884-4975. Participants needed - Ktneslolagy study requires touch typists, minimum GOWPM. Experience with graphical user interface and mouse necessary. Will pay $25. for approximately 3-4 hours. Call ext. 6376, e-mail hwoo 8 healthv.uwaterloo.ca

QN-GQING MONDAYS UW Stage Band rehearsal, from 7 to 9 p.m. in Conrad Grebel College Great Hall, room 156 TUESDAYS University Choir rehearsal, 7 to 9:30 p,m. in Conrad Grebel College Chapel.

r

UDCCMING

KW Chamber Music Street, W., Waterloo.

SATURDAY,

MAY l&l996

Society presents For reservations

“Robert Silverman” call 886-1673.

at 8:OO p.m., 57 Young

MONDAY, MAY 20,1996 Woodsde National Historic Site - opens for the season with ‘Woodside’s Antiques Roadshow and Fair” from IO a.m. to 5100 p.m. Call 571-5684 for more info.

FRIDAY, MAY 24,1996 Rummage Sale at First United Church, King and William Sts, Waterloo 8 p.m.. On Saturday May 25 from 9-l 1 a.m.

MONDAY,

from 3 to

MAY 2?,1996

Breast Cancer Action & Support of KW presents ‘Cancer & The Environment”, a suspicious link featuring Meryle Berge at KW Hospital Health Centre Auditorium at 7:30 p.m. For info call 886-0590.

TUESDAY,

MAY 28,1996

Waterloo Wellington Myalglc Encephalomyelitis Association invites KW area Chronic Fatigue Syndrome sufferers, their family and friends to a support group meeting from 7-9 p.m. at the Adult Recreaton Centre, 185 King St., S. tnformation 623-3207.

WEDNESDAY,

MAY 29,1996

GSA Volleyball Tournament - June I,1996 from 2-5 p.m. at the PAC. Pizza after at the Grad House. Sign up by today. Contact Maureen MacDonald at ext. 3634 for more info.

Picture ‘Iburself Miller’s Country Store TheBeatGoesOn

1 VOLUNTEERS / Female volunteers needed! - are both you and a friend interested in participating in a psychology study on problem solving? We need pairs of undergraduates who know and like each other. This study has been granted ethics approval from the UW Office of Human Research. You will receive $5. in appreciating for your time, with a posibility of earning a bonus oa another $5. If you are interested, call the university switchboard, 888-4567, ask for ext. 3786 and leave a message for Kim with your names and phone numbers. She will return your call and tetl vou more about the studv. The City of Waterloo Volunteer Services is currently recruiting for the following volunteer positions: Youth Volunteers: youth 13 years of age and older are invited to attend an interview for summervolunteer positions. These include Fun Centres, Sports Camps, and Aquatics. Traditonal Oriental Art Instructor: to work with seniors instructing Oriental brushwork class. Needed Wednesday afternoons. Program Assistants: needed to assist participants take part in activities and assist staff to conduct activities. A three hour commitment per week is required. Volunteer Shopper: this shopping program is to assist older adults unable to do their own grocery shopping and have no other means of purchasing groceries. To respond as needed, retrieving list and money, delivering groceries with receipt to check groceries. If interested in the above positions call 888-6488. We need Big Sisters! If you are 20 years of age and older we need you. Female volunteers are required to develop one-on-one relationships with girls and boys. 3 hours a week for one year is the commitment. All volunteers are required to complete an Orientation Training Session prior to acceptance as a Big Sister volunteer. Our next training sessions commence May 21,23 and 28/96. Please call 743-5206 to resister. Tutors needed for Math, Science, English with Separate School Board Summer School Program, portion of 3 weeks July 2-22, Waterloo or Cambridge. Call Frank Oliverio 578-3660.

CALENDAR

GenerationX Media WaterlooNorthMazda FairviewAcura BlueDogBagels

’ Princess Cinema * Dr.Disc MapleLeafComics

Highland Photo Bent UWCampus Shop UWFederation of

Students TooRusso’s DairyQueen Josten’s Photography DataCorn

Pregnant? Considering adoptive parents? Happily married professional couple seeking birthmother considering adoptive parents for her baby. Warm and loving home en&onient. Rob or Linda l-800-254-8452.

-

Wedding and occasion photography by a creative woman photographer. Blackand white, hand-tinting, reasonable rates, packages offered. Call Judy 886-1254. -

Cash paid nightly - $7.50/hour + bonuses guaranteed for door-to-door fundraising/sales reps and crew leaders. Parttime flexible shifts. Experience necessary. Call Franz 743-

Chaise tounge - suitable for TV room. Asking nearest offer. Phone 884-2579.

$125. or

DEADLINE is Mondaysat 5 p.m. at the IMPRINT office SLC1116 student rates: $3.120 wordsl.l5$ after201t GST non-student: $5120 woW.25~ afler 20/t MT business (student, non-student): $10.120 wordsL25$ after20/t GST


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Hard Drives 1.08GigabyteHardDrive 1.60GigabyteHardDrive 2.00GigabyteHardDrive

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sale includes new and used items Motherboards, Cases, Floppy Drives,

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ROMS, Books, Programs, Printers, Speakers, Sound $1 Cards, Video Cards, Monitors, Memory, I/O cards, SCSI f# Fax/Modems, Internet .%...Adapters, B Mice, Pads, Windows 95, Cache Cyrix), ET Call Home, much more that can’t ,,,&.:,4:,,,

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