1980-81_v03,n33_Imprint by Editor Imprint

Events

Campus.

-Friday, Legal

Resource

March Office

Service under the auspices of St. Jerome’s College. Everyone welcome. Theatre of the Arts. 7 pm. Free. An evening with Max Webster. Feds $6, Others $7, available in the Fed Office, CC 235. This is the last concert of the term! Sponsored by BENT, the Federation of Students. Humanities Theatre. 8 pm. Fed Flicks-see Friday. Only 8 pm showing. , Liturgy

27:

hours: 10 am-12 pm, 12:30-

4:30 pm. U of W Ski Club presents Fun & Skiing at Blue Mt./Georgian Peaks. $14 Members, $17 NonMembers. You had to sign up by Wednesday for this trip. CC Bombshelter is open noon-l am. Salad bar open till 11:30pm. D.J. after 9 pm. Feds no cover, others $1 after 9 pm. Friday Prayer (Salatul-Jummaa). Arranged by Muslim Students’ Association. 1:30-2:30 pm. CC 135. documentary film depicting the political turmoil in Guatamala will be shown in the Conrad Grebel Great Hall at 12:30pm. A letter, drafted for the attention of Mark MacGuigan, will be present for those who wish to signit. We are inviting members of the Waterloo Latin American Support Group to answer questions you may have. Sponsored by the UW Peace Society, Global Community Centre and the Federation of Students. \ A short

Students Association presents a seminar on Super Power conflict and the Third World. The crisis in El Salvador will be.discussed. 7 pm. AL 113.

Pakistan

Flicks-Monty Python’s LIFE OF BRIAN. 8 pm and 10 pm. Feds $1, others $2. AL 116. Agora Tea House. A time for herbal teas, homebaked munchies, and good conversation. All are welcome. Sponsored by Waterloo Christian Fellowship. 8-12 midnight. CC 110. Spring Concert with UW Concert Band, UW Chamber Choir, and UW University Choir. Cosponsored by Conrad Grebel College and the Creative Arts Board. 8 pm. Humanities.Theatre. Fed

Composition by Sheila Forrester, performed by New Music Ensemble, Owen Underhill, conductor. Concert will be held in the Theatre Auditorium, WLU, at 8 pm. Admission: Adults $4jstudents $2. Everyone welcome. The U of W Medievalist Club/Society for Creative Anachronism is having an announced meeting. If you’re interested in the Middle Ages, come on out, 7:30’,cc 135.z

-Monday,

March

30-

Have you ever wondered what actually happens to your food before it gets on the shelf? Take a Supermarket Tour to find out. Tours available daily. Contact Dianne, 886-7622 or WPIRG, ‘8849020. Legal Resource Office open 10am-2 pm. The Bombshelter is open 12noon-l am. D.J. after 9 pm. Feds, no cover. Others $1 after 9 pm. Sandwich and Salad Bar is open from 12noon-6 pm. The Birth Control Centre is open. We offer information on Birth Control, unplanned pregnancy, counselling and a resource library. The centre is open Monday-Thursday, 12-4 pm. CC 206. Ext. ) 2306. Peers Counselling-a student to student, listening, referral and information service. So come in, relax, have’a cup of coffee and set your soul free. 11 am-3 pm. CC 138. music at the KPL. “Bebop revisited” presented by Jeff Weller. 7 pm. There will be a seminar featuring a speaker from Nestle’s advocating Nestle’s involvement in infant baby formula distribution in underdeveloped countries. Also on hand will be a member from an opposition group INFACT. 7:30 pm. Paul Martin Centre, WLU.

Jazz

and

Blues

Graduation

-Saturday,

March

28-

Students’ Association presents a seminar on the nature and direction of Pakistan’s politics. The recent unrest in Pakistan will be discussed. 1:30 pm. Conrad Grebel College, Great Hall. The Bombshelter opens 7 pm. D.J. after 9 pm. Feds no cover, others $1 after 9 pm. Fed Flicks-see Friday.

Pakistan

Musical Ensemble-120 dynamic performers including a male chorus, the Toronto Mancolin orchestra and a troupe of lively young dancers in a colourful presentation of UkrainianCanadian music and dance. Tickets $8,studentsand seniors $6.50from UW Arts Centre Box Office, 885 4280. 8 pm. Humanities Theatre.

Shevchenko

Pulsar-Space Accountant. A new radio drama series on CKMS at 10 pm. Episode 3-“All that glitters isn’t gold.”

Percy

-Sunday,

March

29-

Ecumenical Reformed Worship for entire University Community. lOi am. Refreshments afterwards. HH 280. Conrad Grebel Chapel Service. by coffee and discussion.

7-8 pm. Followed

-Tuesday,

March

31-

Emperor’s New Clothes” presented by the ever popular Actor’s Trunk Company. Approximately one hour, and suited to ages 5-10. 10 am and 1:30 pm. $2, groups 10 or more $1.50. By reservation only, call 885-4280. Legal Resource Office is open 10 am-12:30 pm, 1:30-3:30pm.

“The

Monday. CC Bombshelter-see Monday. Job search seminar dealing with planning and organizing the job search. Sign up sheets posted on the bulletin board, 1st floor, Needles Hall. 12:30-2 pm. “Brigand’‘-a Canadian Tradition Electric Folk Band. Noon to 1 pm. CC Great Hall. Free! Sponsored by BENT, the Student Federation and the CCB. Conrad Grebel College Evening Prayer. 4:45-5: 15 pm. Conrad Grebel College. Peers

Counselling-see

vegetarian club is having seven cooking workshops. Experience satisfying vegetarian cooking by tongue, tummy and mind. Live demonstrations and delicious recipes. Free. All welcome. 6 pm, Psych Lounge, 3rd Floor. By Grace Through Faith. Non-Credit course in reformed doctrine by Chaplain Dr. Rem Kooistra. 78 pm. Conrad Grebel College. Room 264. End of Term Pub with Lisa Price Band,, Upstairs at WMI. $3. All welcome. 8 pm. The

Slide-tape production that portrays the experiences and impressions of the Environmental Studies studytour to India. 4:30 pm, Humanities Theatre.

January

-Wednesday, (Ha-APRIL Legal

Resource

25-

FOOL!)

Office

is open 10 am-l:30 pm,

3:30-5:30pm, 7-9 pm. Monday,. Monday. Red Cross Blood Donor Clinic. 2-4:30pm, 6-8:30 pm. St. Luke’s Lutheran Church, 317 Franklin St., Kitchener. ’ Peers CC

Counselling-see

Bombshelter-see

Conrad

Grebel

College

Chapel

Services.

4:45-

5:15 pm. Chaplain Rem Kooistra. HH 280, 6 pm supper. 7-8:30pm. Ethical Issues for the Eighties. Discussion

Fellowship.

Liberation of Waterloo is sponsoring a coffee house with music, coffee, and a chance to meet new friends. For more information, call884-GLOW. 8:3011’30 pm. Cc ‘lo.

Gay

-Thursday, Legal

Resource

April

Office

hours 10 am-l:30 pm.

Monday.1 Monday. -Music at noon will feature Alumni Recital Series, Theodore Baerg, baritone, Derek Bate, piano. Concert will be held in the Theatre Audtarium, WLU, 12 noon. Free admission, everyone welcome. Job Search Seminar-see Tuesday. Peers CC

Counselling-see

Bombshelter-see

Christian Fellowship. Final joint. meeting is a time for reflection over the past year with prayer, singing and informal sharing. Everyone is welcome. 4:30-7 pm, HH 280.

Waterloo

Conrad Grebel Evenig Prayer - see Tuesday There will be a Woman’s Coffeehouse tonight in CC 110. We play women’s music and coffee, tea available. Of interest to all wbmen. Sponsored by Gay Liberation of Waterloo (GLOW) 884-4569.8:30 pm. The UW Debating Society is meeting. For information, call Heather or Christina at 884-5680.9 pm. Conrad Grebel Lower Lounge. Percy Pulsar-Space Accountant. CKMS. 10 pm. Episode 4-Percy falls afoul of that long distance feeling.

-Friday, LJW

Ski

Club-see

April

last Friday.

Office-see last Friday. Sale sponsored by KW Canadian Federation of University Women. Noon-10 pm. Includes auction 6-7 pm. Hilliard Hall, First United Church, Waterloo. Peers Counselling-see Monday. Legal

Resource

Used

Book

Bombshelter-see

Friday

Prayer-see

Agora

Tea

House-see

Monday. last Friday. last Friday.

will feature WLU Wind Ensemble, Michael Purves-Smith, conductor. Concert will be held in the Theatre Auditorium WLU at 8 Admission: Adults $4jStudents $2. All welcome. Evening

concert

pm.

Friday,

March 27, 1981, Volume

3, Number

University

of Waterloo,

Waterloo,

Ontario

In news this week, a report on the preservation of fruitlands in Niagara, page 3, student aid in Manitoba on page 5 and stories from Simon Fraser and McGill pages 8 6 11. Left, a special view of US diplomatic policy Page 4

In Arts record review phge 14, Mark Twain and the National Ballet page 25 Percy Pulsar meets the daughter of Robert Heinlein and the results are predictably *pro ba bfe, .page 17,

and this year’s worst hed, page 28

Neu m Shorts

Friday,

March

27,

1981.

Imprint

- Cops smash -McMaster’s ceful sit-in HAMILTON (CUP) - A sit-in of eleven McMaster sociology students ended March 19 when 40 Hamilton police officers stormed the offices they were occupying. Only twenty minutes before police raided the sixth floor of the occupied arts building, university president Alvin Lee assured student representatives there would be no police involvement without warning. Student union president Alex Dashko said this did not occur and was disturbed that such “strong action .was taken to end a peaceful occupation.” The students were protesting the lack of ‘representation they have on the sociology department’s planning committee. Students left peacefully when the police arrived and there were no arrests made. The short-lived sit-in was brought to a head when students were denied their forty per cent representation the _ on sociology department committee which decides items such as promotion and lenuring of professors. The representation was guaranteed in a department constitution in 1974. Attempts at mediation by the student ,union ombudsman and the camchaplain faile,d to pus resolve the issue. However in January the sociology chair, William Shaffir declared the constitution was unworkable and a vote taken among sociology professors resulted in a 11 to 10 decision against student representation. a Shaffir said students

were not capable of making decisions about the promotion and hiring of faculty members. Dashko says this is not a good argument because it is students who have the day to day contact with professors and know their strengths and weaknesses. The sociology department now says they want to start with a clean slate by eliminating the constitution and sitting down with students over the summer to draft a new one. According to Dashko, this is an acceptable compromise for the students. Nevertheless according to Tim Hogue, editor of the McMaster student newspaper, The Silhouegte, rallys and occupations continue to be scheduled for Thursday. “Even though negotiations have reconvened in the sociology department, there is a deadlock,” he said. “Nine voted for student ‘representation, nine have voted against it, and there has been one abstention.” Hogue said that thus far no arrests have been made.

Ret students establish teaching award At a meeting on February 24, 1981, the Recreation Student’s Association (RSA) established an award called “The Recreation Student’s Association Teaching Appreciation Award to show appreciation for outstanding teaching among the faculty of the Department of Recreation.

One of the participants in Saturday’s Engineering Marjorie Carroll, who sports a “Pledge-a-PIummer” when all the pleges are in.

Bus Push for the Big Sisters organization was Waterloo Mayor badge. Organizers of the event say they expect to raise $4,000 Photo by Hans Van Der Molen

The award will be potential -selections and presented on a yearly basis document good teaching at t-he end of the winter efforts. term. Three nominations will Three teachers will be be forwarded to the selected by a nominating Recreation Student’s Ascommittee on the basis of sociation and will be vothd mastery df subject matter; upon by closed ballots at ability to communicate the last RSA meeting of the subject matter, with emterm. phasis on practical application of subject matter; lectures; encouragement of student p’articipation; enthusiasm; effort to develop good report with students; VANCO.UVER (CUP) - More concern for students; sense of humour; and effective than 700 University of BC and innovative teaching students shouted support techniques and aids. Effort for unified action against government‘ cutbacks and directed at curriculum ivprovement, tuition fee increases at a consideration of student suggestions March 18 rally. And though student and and recognition and inlabor groups were revestigation of student concerns in departmental presented at the rally, neither the committee work is also university administration taken into consideration. nor the In the past, there have faculty sent representabeen complaints that factives. Students boycotted classes for two hours in ulty have not put enough emphasis on the teaching order to participate. aspect, and it is hoped that So when UBC president Doug Kenny failed to show a secondary benefit of the award will be to encourage up the students went more effort in teaching. .looking for him. Input will be solicited “By not coming here from spring and fall term (Kenny and Education students and used by the Minister Pat McGeer) are winter nominating comexpressing as loudly and mittee who will review clearly as they could the

UBC boycotters march on prez and faculty club

contempt they hold for students and for everyone else at the university,” political science professor Phil Resnick said. “In the end changes are not going to be given.‘Rights have to be gotten through militancy,” he added. By the end of the rally

~~~~s Kenny’s answers

towef,eaichangfi office and demand from him.

Do~~~t&~ k6tiy;,,,Ws$ f

back, we say fight back,” more than 600 students arrived at the president’s office, only to’find him not in. . While the 150 students waited in the hall outside his office, another 100 continned on to the faculty club to see if he was there. Faculty were surprised at the sudden invasion. “I wasn’t aware there was a class boycott,” said professor Robert Conry over lunch. “I was here the last time students occupied the faculty club,” he said, referring tq the 1968 student occupation led by yippie leader Jerry Rubin. He added that “this is a much more orderly and focused thing than the last time.”

Kenny finally arrived one hour later and denied charges that he was out of touch with student issues. Asked about the current policy of indexing tuition fees to at least 10 per cent of the university’s operating budget he said, “I don’t agree with you on that. I think the public in general supports students paying 10 per cent of the cost of their educatioin.” After Kenny spoke to students and a barrage of televison cameras, students marched out of the old administration building chanting, ‘“We don’t want Doug.”

Insurance premium stable There will be no increase in fhe student supplementary health insurance plan premiums for September, 1981, Federation president Wim Simonis announced Tuesday. In September, 1978, the premiums for one year were $4.68. Since that first year of the plan, it has experienced 300% and 40% increases, to the current premium of $26.19 a year.

-News

Friday,

Landmark

decision

March

27,

1981.

Imprint

3 -

or agricult u re

CMB saves Niagara’s tender fruit lands In a momentous decision by the Ontario Municipal Board, 1700 acres of prime agricultural land in the Niagara Penninsula has been cited for permanent protection from urban expansion. The February 27th decision culminates a

battle that has been raging Canada’s most productive between a small group of agricultural acres. As a conservationists and an , result of last month’s decision and an earlier army of regional and local governments and land OMB resolution to save developers for over two another 1700 acres, a total years of OMB hearings. of 60% of the lands under The subject in dispute dispute will be designated as “agricultural” in the known as “tender fruit and Niagara Region’s Official grapelands”, ‘is amone Development Plan. Dr. Ralph Kreuger, a long-time member of the preservationist’s group, PALS (The Preservation of Agricultural Lands Society), stated that these gains are considerable. Kreuger continued that the OMB decision is a milestone as it carries with it the promise that the urban-rural boundaries will remain permanently fixed.

Over 100 help to push Big Sisters’bus At 10125 am, a 40-metre rope was tied to the front of bus 769, waitingin the El culde-sac. The bus’ motor was left running, and a driver was in the driver’s seat, but these were for brakes and steering only; the bus moved under muscle power alone, the gears beingin neutral. The parade was ready by 10~1, and moments later the bus was moving. Saturday, march 21st, marked the fifth annual Engineers Bus Push for Big Sisters. Well over one hundred people, most of the UW engineers, turned up to raise money for Big Sisters of Kitchener by pulling a Kitchener Transit bus from the campus to Market Square; engineers were pledged on a perkilometre basis, and donations were collected along the route. The procession moved down University Ave. to King St, and continued along King to Market Square in Kitchener. A police escort led the parade, followed by two black-robed figures carrying the Ridgid Tool, EngSoc’s mascot:. a fivefoot chrome-plated wrench. Next came the infamous Plummer’s HardHat band, imported from University of Toronto for this occasion. The bus itself followed, and another police escort brought up the rear. With most of the pledge sheets in, $3600 has been raised, according to Jenny Thiers of 3A mechanical, this year’s “chief pusher” who organized the event. This amount includes $200 collected along the route. Over $4000 is expected to be the final amount. Anne White, fundraising co-ordinator of Big Sisters, said that the idea of a Bus Push was “tremendous!” She added that “we as an agency appreciate a group such as the engineers who will go out and do a major fund-raising effort like this.”

In addition to engineers, many others were on hand to help pull the bus, including Waterloo mayor Marjorie Carroll, Kitchener alderman Dominic Cordillo, Waterloo MP Walter MacLean, Kitchener MP Peter Lang, Waterloo North MPP Herb Epp, dean of engineering Wally McLaughlin, and teams from local radio stations. “It’s a great idea,” said Epp about the Bus Push. “Anyone who helps the Big Sisters should be complimented.” Dr. Lang echoed Epp’s sentiment, saying that “The importance of Big Sisters is obvious.” Lang also said that he enjoyed himself during last year’s Push. The bus arri-ved at Market Square a few minutes past noon. The weather for the Push was excellent: sunny and warm, although a few feet got soaked from the melting snow. Everyone appeared to be enjoying themselves pulling (or as in the case of the 3A Civil class, pushing) the bus, and all felt that this year’s Push was a success. “A lot of credit goes to Jenny (Thiers), ” said Brad McKay a Systems grad and organiser of last year’s Push. “This year’s push went great .” Jim Balcon, EngSoc president was pleased with the number of people that turned up. “Jenny Thiers deserves a lot of credit,” he agreed. As little Sisters went along the route collecting donations from astonished passers-by, one man in Kitchener was heard to comment something about “a solution to the transit problem.” The Big Sisters group has been in the Kitchener area since 1971. Big Sister volunteers take a training course and make a one-year commitment to see thei$ Little Sister for a few hours per week. Glenn St-Germain

According OMB report, Fruit Lands

Oh, those powerful.

an official the Niagara represent “a

cutbacks

can

unique and scarce agroclimatic resource in Canada.” Chairpersons, Blake and Blair have stated that they regard the established boundaries as permanent and that they must be so regarded by the city of St. Catharines. St. Catharines has fought the hardest for more urban expansion. Optomistic about the OMB ruling, Dr. Douglas Hoffman, director of the School of Urbanand Regional Planning, stated that this is the first time in Canada that boundaries have been delineated between urban and agricultural lands in a regional master plan. Although the land use plan will be subject to revision in 20 years, Hoffman is confident that due to the exceptionally strong stand taken by the OMB on this issue. .the urban boundaries

become

invidiously

painful.

will not be extended. To ensure boundary permanance, the OMB has taken three courses of action. In the first instance, the board has imposed a stringent severance policy. It has been the practice in the past to allow retiring farmers the option -to sell small portions of their lands. This ha/s often resulted in a scattering of small subdivisions in agricultural areas. The OMB has now effectively scrapped that policy. Sceondly, the urban boundaris imposed by the board on St. Catharines are larger than necessary to accomodate the slow growth in population expected in coming years. In effect, the OMB is giving the city %o excuse to complain” about these expansion limits. Finally, the board has clearly stated in its decision that urban growth must be

Never

has a finger seemed SO photo by David Bray

directed Catharines sprawl fruitland.

away from St. whose urban threatens prime

To encourage the growth of industry in the smaller centers of Welland, Niagara Falls, Thorold and Port Colbourne which are located on poorer quality clay soils, the OMB has pledged government assistance in the financing of additional servicing and transportation costs. A major reason for PALS success, has been the ability of the organization’s lawyer Peter Elliot, to convince theboard that the Provincial Government must uphold the Foodland Guidelines - the governments only formal statement of policy on agricultural lands. Within the guidelines, the Niagara Fruitlands are ,acknowledged for their importance as an area of “specialty crops” and for this reason must be given “high priority for protection”. The OMB has stated that the land preservation criteria outlined in this document were instrumental in the forniulation of the Board’s decision. The outcome of the hearings says Kreuger, is particularly heartening in light of the fact that PALS had been fighting them for preservation with extremely limited funds ‘and against overwhelming odds. It is as overwhelming-odds. It is an important precedent stated Kreuger, that “a group of citizens were able to persevere for over two years to finally force government to a decision to save a unique resource.” Laurie Duquette

VVild lands being tamea The time to bevocalis now while the wolf howls and haunting cries of loons are still to be heard. This was the message of the executive director of the‘ Algonquin Wildlands League, Arlin Hackman. Hackman explained about the forces “preservationists” are up against. The main setback in providing for wilderness areas, he said, is the lack of legislation in its favour. And now with a majority government in power, the opposition has lost its voice in making issues more public. The Wildlands League has been trying to promote the wide-spread incorporation of SLUP (Strategic Land Use Planning Program) which Hackman explained, is a program for allocating all types of land uses of crown land in a given region. As yet, the government has set up no definite plan for implementing SLUP, but has had the outline in the “re-evaluation” stage since its 8 or 9 years of existence. The plan suggests that a mere 2% of potential forestry land be turned to wilderness land. This would enable

Northern Ontario to have areas d&ned by natural boundaries and processes which would to a certain extent represent our natur-;l heritage. Hackman stated that however small this area may be, the forest industry is offering great resistance and is expressing its paranoia in having slight limitations forced on them. It was stated though, that the failure to regenerate cleared land, represents the equivalet of one wilderness part per year. Although the objectives of

It’s great

to get back

to nature.

SLUP are simple, the cast to which it is directed is complex, Hackman said. Besides forestry and mining industries, the Minister of Natural Resources, the Cabinet, senior civil service, parks people, trade unions, local governments, tourist industry, cottagers and the general public, make up the cast which Hackman spoke of. A group such as that exemplifies the complexity of the situation, and helps to explain why SLUP has been on the back burner for as long as it has been.

Hackman stressed that a long term land useage plan is needed encompassing all crown land and suggested that we involve ourselves in obtaini‘lg this by challenging politicians, writing letters, supporting the league, becomeducated, and by ing educating. In the face of the irrevokability of damage to wilderness areas, long term planning seems the only practical alternative. H. Geerts

graphic

by Tim

Ferlich

‘\

i I

Ll Class l&age l%egistr&n PenImprint reseqes the r@ht tC?23-q edit,‘. arndrefwe&dvertWn&

,“Jews! Back to Dachau, I say!” “We will bury all’ you fucking, dirty,. nosy Jews - a PLO friend.” \ . . “Jew is a dirty pig.“, ’ “‘Long live the Fuhrer.” li “Jews are -ok, but dead -ones are even ‘okayer’.” The above quotes were taken -off a men’s washroom wall. j The wall is part-of the Robartsresearch _ library on the University of Toronto campus. The basemeht lies below the meticulously ‘classified collection of all human wisdom. Among these volumes is the fourteenth edition of the Encyclopaedia Brittanica. which states that“‘discriminating legislation has almost disappeared and anti-Semitic views have ceased to’ find any countenance or in the better elements in - the - government -. .. of public opinion.”

baasg SandersbnI ’ W-a~&$33 Busin.&silanager Advertising Manager JaoobArseneatit . RxductionManag~r &ws Ed&or LaurieDuquette Sports Editor Paul Zemokhol Arts Editors ‘DanAyad,AnnaLehn PhotograpQy. j Peter Saxaoino A&elaErandon, Michael Ferra&e Pros~6tPoetry ’

‘Ea&

ImPmtbthe atudencneweRaperattlieunivereitgofwaterloo. It @ an editorially h(mmldent newspaper published by Imprint Publications Waterloo, a corporation without ah&e oapital, Universi~ of Waterloo, Waerloo; Qntario. Photi 886 1660 or extension 2331. or 9332. Imp*t is a member of the .w University Press (Cup), a student press organization of 63 papers soross .(%nada. +Imprint is also a member of the’ Ontario Weel$ly Neyrapaper A&oiation (OWNA). Imprint publiehescnrerg~~dufing~e~~M~shauldbeaddressed to “Imprint, Campus Centre Eoom 140.;’ We are typeset on oaxnpus with a Camp/set 610, paste-up is 14kewUe done on ca+pus. ImpriZk ISSN 0706-(7380. ‘. , . “, -

.,., .“,..‘,

::-

~~~hsvebeen~~~*casea~o~~~t~oaetoo;;;’theopke,Iw

conta&d

by the f&m of &xx&no, Angold, Gib* V8n l&r IuIol& Sulxzh, and utter. Th6 mission tx$track down and bring back the nutorious galactic criminal and all-round xi.iceguY John W BasL But how? HewaslastsenontheplanetQuellaxbyanumberofwitnesses: P Zemokhol,DAysb,acndNssisterSAyad,DBemnaaAMLehn(a morning person), Tammy Home, aqd Vtiginia Butler. I went to Quellax,butitwas~ta~~~cinder:Duquetterurdhercshorts Angela Brandon, Michael Ferrabee, Rob tibrucki, Debbie Elliot: and Julie Ignn Joice had been there. A report frti chler commis&ioners McMullen and McBride suggested that J Arsenqault may be harbouring him. So I rented a spaoe skifffrom:‘Sanderson and Wood and went aRer him. The robots JD, Nancy andKaren were onguard. Suddenly, in a bUnding flash of a super nova (formerly a custom&& . Chevrolet) I located my quarry in a freighter owned by Jean Chick, Helma Gerts, Datid Bra& Sylvia and St-Germain (who is able to write about himself in the third person q@ta casually) of La Crete. I closed in for the kill. But he wasn’t about to give yp his asteroid without a fight. He attacked with lasers and phasers, pUt to no avail. We lost Gflpin and Petraaek in the attack, but we brought him in. We were victorious! Too bad it was only an electronic game...C&er photo by Hans Van Der Molen

Well+fo~med dialogue Will alter opinions- ’ m

terrorist carrying a gun can receive a standing ovation in the General Assembly. For how many millenia must this cycle of alternating sympathy, apathy, and murder be perpetrated? Je’wish. or not, you are a ‘member of the human race, and have a responsibility to know and teach the knowledge of The Holocaust, so that it is never forgotten, never trivialized, never romanticized, -and never repeated. By being aware of what has been allowed to occur in the past, we can perhaps prevent a recurrence of the intolerance which has plagued humankind since the beginning of recorded history. Anti-Semitism, and racism in general, is an ugly attitude which has no place in our progressive society. I trust that discrimination by race, sex, religion, or conscience shall soon be officially shunned in a new constitution of Canada. But, ‘ink on paper will not alter the inclinations of the masses. . .Intelligent and well-informed dialogue. .. Will.

five years, a recent synagogue bombing in a Look. If in only thirty-five years, doubts fashionable section of Paris would have can be widespread Andy disbelief can, caused the death of hundreds of worshippers become fashionable as to Hitler’s Final had the charge not exploded prematurely. Solution, imagine just ho-w short a time it Premier Raymond Barre told a televisionwould be before the martyrdom of these interviewer that the. attack was, “aimed at people becomes a myth..\ Will our own Jews worshipping in a synagogue,,but struck children and grandchildren believe our four innocent Frenchmen”, in effect stating astonishing, shockingstories? that the Jew> were neither French nor - If the Israelis- were to be driven into the innocent. Mediterranean, the world would shed pools of sympathetic tears. Instead, because they The bombing followed the machine-gun-. fight on for .their freedom, they can now be This edition was published in 1929, a time ning of two other synagogues and a protest The Third World in which Jews in Germany were finding march through Par& was accompanied by clas.sed as oppressors. countries can-make-Zionism the most timethemselves assimilated into all levels of ’ aborted bombings of Jewish-owned bu’siNever again, consuming trouble at the United Nations. A professionalism, government, and scientific nesses’ and dozens of attacks on Jewish / research in a modern and progressive nation. homes and stores throughout the countryAlso in Germany at the time were heard the side. ----_ .. Pas&l Ory, a.n expert, on new&s&m speeches of “extremists” proud of their self- ’ ,explains away that “the new gene.ration’ rationalized anti-Semitic and fascist beliefs. does not have firsthand memories of the Now, l981,less than 100 kilometres from the Robarts Library in a similar Canadian failure of Nazism; They can romanticize it today in a way that nobody could university I force myself to notice the twenty years ago.” random thoughts of one‘ Dave \ Cook of Romanticize?! Does a person require Vancouver: vert straight people. There Homophobia: firsthand memories of the greatest is nothing wrong with gays “I wish for once they’d pronounce our human-atrocity in all of history L the coming out publicly, ie. Source of name right, it’s ‘Ku’, not ‘Klu’ ,Klux Klan. If premeditated slaughter of seven million demonstrations. Don’t you they .can’t say it they should just keep their Jetis, Gypsies, homosexuals, criminals, Misuederstanding think’ they are sick of goddamned mouths shut... Malcohn X was political misfits, and handicapped persons? people trying to convert killed beoause he was dead against Zionism If millions of cats and degs &ad been’ I’would like to give some them? Or discriminate .:...John Lennon was a race traitor and dope burned, gassed, and dismembered by a feedback .on the letter by, against them? pusher... I’ve got a ’ locker full Of them I., fasci$t regime, all of humanity would Don Bruton in the March 20 Gay people aren’t con(weapons) and’30,000 rounds of ammo.” remember and cry regularly for time issue of Imprint. Mr. verted into their preferThe KKK, whose membership includes a eternal. However, already people are being Bruton had some very good ence. They inherently deso-called cross-section of the Canadian asked to question the horrid facts. points about the bath raids velop that way, and have middle class is outspoken in its criticism of A recent letter printed in The United - he had his facts clear on the tendency in them all Church Observer official magazine of Jews, Chinese, East Indians, blacks, and all that. However, Mr. Bruton, along. Of course, we can’t non-white Christians, reminiscent of the over one million Christians suggests that you (and about 96% of the really say what causes of Hitler’s National sweet beckonings “Jewish wartime casualties” have been people to be gay, but everypopulation) are still much overstated and “that the genocide of t,he Socialist Party. uneducated about gays thing points to the.hypothAnd what of our allies across the sea? Jews was largely an invention to facilitate themselves. -Referring to esis that it develops very In France, a country which has only the founding and financing of the State of your letter: how can you early; the same time everyknown freedom from Nazi rule for thirtyIsrael”, body else’s sexuality desay what gay relationships are? Have you ever been in velops. It isn’t actually one? Gay relationships can clearcut; there is a scale of be and are as meaningful as sexuality (Kinsey scale) heterosexual (straight] relthat goes from 0,’ comationships. People are pletely heterosexual, to 3, people who need emotionbisexual, to 6, completely al, caring relationships homosexual. gay or straight. There is an It is most important that excellent article in the you realize that you can’t latest issue of Psychology judge a group until you Today (March 81). It will really know what they’re give more depth than I can like, personally. For instance, if you didn’t know here. -any Jews, could you really As to gays cramming their sexual preference say they are like this and down other’s throats, has it that, and this is how they ever happened to you? You live? If you plan to make a judgement, please make aren’t qualified to make the sure you really underjudgement pimplied in your letter. The Sunday Sun (of stand what you are talking all papers) published a full about: in other words, become more objective. page article in which two of There are plenty of articles, their reporters went to a bathouse - probably lookpublications and books in ing for a juicy story. But the GLOW office, CC 217C, even when impersonating that I’m sure would open your mind a bit. gays, they were not forced or pressured to do anything However, you can’t be (March.22/81). Gays do not entirely to blame for your run around trying to connegative feelings. Homo-

Dave Berman

pho.bia (fear/hate of ho,mosexuals) permeates our society everywhere, but you are responsible for having facts to back your opinions up. Lisa Simkins Chemistry Co-op

Pakistan-day to be a day of protest The editor, I would like to draw the attention of my fellow colleagues towards the celebration of Pakistanday which is being held on this campus on March the 27th. , This day is ’ very important ’ to all fellow- I Pakistanis, as it-marks the struggle for ‘Freedom’ from the colonial and imperial rule of British Raj in India. But today once again the , nation has become the victim under the ‘barrel of the gun’ held by the dictatorial military junta of general Zia. In Pakistan, virtually all the existing political, educational, and social institutions are banned with no political activities in existence whatsoever. Above all, the political leaders are held in jails all over the country. Sir, the price of freedom had gone sour. So, therefore I would ask all my fellow colleagues to help break this yoke of oppression by the military junta . of general Zia. Furthermore ‘mark this day of celebratjon as a day ,of protest rather than anything else’! Sind-Baluchistan Organization

Fee hike strike born again . Nearly 600 people heave signed a petition committing themselves to a fee hike strike next September at UW, according to SOCIT (Students Opposed to Cutbacks arid Increased Tuition) spokesperson Maggie Thompson. Each signatory, in opposing the tuition hikes of 10 to 13.2% for 1981-82, has agreed to withold the extra money on ‘the condition that 1,000 fellow students also participate. Thompson says that the SOCIT petition may be _ above the required 1,000 participants mark as early as this weekend. “We’re doing well so far.” Thompson asserts that this year’s action will succeed, since the students who sign the petition will commit themselves to join and participate in the strike, whereas last year’s petition only assured their support of a strike as an option. “This petition is explicit ,” emphasizes Thompson. The petition condemns the tuition hikes, claiming, “these increases, following increases of 7.5 to 12.7% last year are intolerable, for they make students, who already have a low standard of living, pay for the rising costs of education, for which they are not responsible.” Instead, Thompson advocates that institutions benefitting from the educational system be the ones who pay for it - i.e. the large oil corporations, IBM, the nuclear power industries, the defense industries, etc.

“Cooperative education, especially in engineering and computer science, is not education in the real sense, it is training for these industries,” claims Thompson. Thompson is critical of the work of the Federation’s Election Action Committee (EAC) in the latest Ontario election, calling its work “abysmal”. “The results of ‘the election show how ineffective the EAC policy really was,” she claims. Instead, SOCIT advocates direct action. “The only way-to defeat the fee hike is to refuse to pay it,” says Thompson. SOCIT believes that if 1,000 people participate in the strike, it is highly unlikely that the university would not enroll them, since they would. represent nearly a million dollars in lost university revenue. “They need the operating money,” Thompson notes. Then, if the strike succeeds in September, more people will join in January, she says. Thompson also insists that attending classes during next fall’s strike would be “no problem”. “Members of our committee have shown that this can be done, when we were on strike last year.” “It would be political suicide for the administration to do otherwise,” claims Thompson. “What are they going to do - get cops up and guard the university?” Brian Snyder

First place in Communications weekend in the Village. From Canada), Kevin Firth.

Category left: Sheldon

Waterloo, of the Ontario Davis, haig Baronikian

Engineering (chairman

Design Competition held last OEDC, 1982), Dr. Chase (Gulf Engsoc photo

’

Simonis denies strike support While SOCIT is organizing for a second fee hike strike, Federation President Wim Stmonis is taking a strictly “hands-off position. “The election campaign made very clear that I wouldn’t advocate a fee hike strike,” stated Simonis. He interprets his victory as a clear mandate not to support such a strike. In an interview Tuesday, Simonis criticized “SOCIT”: “It is not a recognized club; its meetings haven’t even been open to the public.” Simonis also said he questioned Thompson’s sincerity and saw her actions as an “embarassmenf” to the students at uw. According to Simonis,

the only wav a fee hike strike would”be approved by the Federation, would be if it were passed by a General Meeting. * Simonis said he was skeptical about the “guarantees” SOCIT had whereby 1,000 students would actually participate in such a strike, even if the petition they signed “committed” them to it. Such a strike, he maintained, would cause little financial hardship for the university, since its funding is based on a three-year formula which takes account of periodic fluctuations. Simonis Waterloo’s of 10%

also noted that tuition increase was not as

exorbitant when compared to Guelph’s 14% or Western’s 12%. Simonis acknowledged criticisms by SOCIT concerning the Election Action Committee and the Ontario Federation of Students. “The EAC could have done more forming h4 liaisons); it was a question of lack’ of time, expertise and money, but it was a start”. “I do think we’ve got the candidates thinking about educational issues, though”, said Simonis. He admitted too that the nonpartisan nature of the EAC was a problem students interested in the election tended to support parties, rather than a body like the EAC. “So too, OI$ hasn’t been

as effective as it could have been, but it won’t help just to criticize it,” claimed Simonis. The Fed President sees the Fed.eration “moving in’ the right direction” - and that doesn’t include a fee hike strike. “There are so many signs that students don’t want to support this.” What is more important says Simonis, is student input into the upcoming review of Ontario government policy on postsecondary education, and the negotiations concerning the federal-provincial financing scheme, under the Established Program Financing Act. These, he claimed will get his top priority. Brian Snyder

Student aid in Manitoba: wno needs it? Officious officials Offendd I 1

WINNIPEG (CUP) -“I can see why students just say to hell with student aid, and decide it isn’t worth .the trouble a,pplying for it.” Larry Didow, dean of students at the University of Winnipeg was speaking in response to the news that several hundred students in Manitoba postsecondary institutions are being subjected to a comprehensive audit by the Manitoba government’s student aid branch. Under this year’s audit procedure, about 650 students have been required to produce everything from grocery receipts to cheque stubs dating back several years. The intensive personal investigation, which has taken six months or longer to complete, has forced some students out of school and made life miserable for others. “A number of students have come to me having a hell of a time with the audits,” said Henry Mak, head awards officer for the University of Winnipeg. “I can really appreciate how upset students are

getting because they are getting audited,” Mak said. “When these audits happen the student aid people want very specific and detailed information in response, and most students, especially this time of year, just don’t have the time or energy to produce the information.” Debbie Jansen, a University of Winnipeg student who was randomly selected for audit, received no‘tice yesterday that the $1,660 provincial bursary she was promised last September will now be reduced to $580. She said she may have no recourse but to leave school, even thou.gh only three weeks remain in the term. “If I had known ahead of time that this could happen, I would never have bothered,” she said. was told last Jansen August she had been randomly selected for a

routine audit of her expenses and savings from March, 1978 to July, 1980. “They asked for food receipts from three years ago, ” she said. In mid-February, she was told to provide - at a cost of $30 - a record of transactions in a savings account that had been long closed. Valerie Pattern, another University of Winnipeg student selected for audit, was recently given l&days in which to collect receipts documenting expenditures and income dating back to 1978.

Both Didow and Mak said if the same demand had been given to them they would be unable to comply. “There is no way I could produce that sort of information now,” said Mak. “I don’t see how they can expect students to come up with it.” “It’s almost as if they

have an obsessive fear they are being ripped off,” said University of Winnipeg professor Tim Ball. Tom Evans, VicePresident External of the UW student council, believes student aid is far overstepping their mandate. “The information they are asking for in these audits is not elaboration of the information they already received, but rather they are asking for information that the application gave no indication was needed. It’s ludicrous,” Evans said. “There is a point where reasonable surveillance becomes snooping,” said Dale Gibson, University of Manitoba law professor and privacy rights expert. “That’s what this sounds like.” Fredric Kleiman, director of the student aid branch, said detailed information is required

when students don’t give enough information on their original application. The audits, he said, do not delve into people’s personal matters unless they are seen as relevant to their student aid application. “Having these audits,” Kleiman said, “really protects the honest student by weeding out those students who don’t really need the student aid . . . It also helps the credibility of the student aid program by making sure that the people who receive the aid are the people who need.it.” Didow said the time and energy consuming audits and the complexity of the student aid application are discouraging students from applying for student aid. He said if students really need the money they will apply. If they don’t apply, he said, then they are probably “fishers” - a term, he said, people in the student aid office use to

describe students who are applying for student aid in order to see if they can make some extra money. Evans is concerned also’ that the applications for student aid do not tell students that they should be keeping extensive documentation in case they are audited.. “Instead,” Evans said, “students are thrown into an audit, given 14 days to get all the information required, or else. I’ve seen students redeive 5 page letters from the student aid auditors asking for 35 different types of documentation. If I had to do that at this time of year I would go nuts.” “People are blowing the whole ~thing out of proportion,” said Klieman. “If people who are applying would just give us full disclosure instead of hiding things then they wouldn’t have any problems” Evan’s suggests that any students having problems with audits go to the student association for assistance.

‘TIRED 0~ WATCHING PoLtTIcs FROM’THE SIDELINES? . SPAP IS FOR YOU! ‘.

’ Tuition:

The following article was submitted .to Imprint as 9 letter. Although it expresses an opinion not necessarily held by staff, we’present it as an article hoping we may further the debate on tuition grid accessibility.

Student Political Apprenticeship Program’ . ‘.. 1 Be involved! t Learn about politics! t A two j/ear summer job program in Ottawa!A

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student exonerbtes

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v First year stude.nts [o work at Progressive I Conservative Headquarters; I A demdnstrated interest in politics.

‘WRITE:

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figure

&tte

This shows some spread ti income, but nothing dramatic enough to cause the students of one particular faculty to have to live in poverty while others experience little or no difficulty. Peopie tiho tire not in coop cannot help but be in a tighter financial situation than those who’are. That is one of the -advantages of co-op.. However, thisisnothingnew; people 10 years ago were in the same sittiation, if not worse. 1 Alsq it see& unreason: able’to expect a 4 month job to pay well enough to cover all expenses for a full year. It is for these situations that the OSAP program should be used, not for people who do not .need extra money, but takeit anyway to buy stereos, cars, etc.

These figures are the base tuition (not including Fed fees, health insurance, etc.). The inflatioh figures were obtained from Statistics Ontario, and are the natioqal average inflation rates. These were obtained on a yearly basis. then calculated with respect to the year 1970. s‘The figures are for the start of the given year. (eg. 123.7% in 1981 is for Jan. 1, 1981). The provincial and federal governments also pay a considerable portion of the cost of running the university. Approximately 85% of the funds come from the government, while on 15% come from student tuition. In 1970 students paid. approximately 20% while the government paid 80%. The co-op program has not been operational for many faculties from 1970, so d&a for the 1980 year for other faculties has been collected.

Recently there has! been a lot of controversy over increasing tuition. It is true that tuition is going up; however so ‘is everything else. People whd complain about the increases always neglect to mention the other side. This article tries to. compare our present financial status to that of students in 1970. A table (fig.2) has been compiled comparing salaries, tuition and inflation, using engineering as an example. The salary column is an average of electrical,‘ mechanical, civil, chemical and systems design engineering. The data was compiled from the Department of Coordination files oti average student wages, using their fourth workterm. Tuition is for * an engineering student and was obtained from theuniversity calendars for each year.

‘I -

There figures indicate that in most cases it is easier for a student to come to university today than’ it was in the past. Are good quality professors, TA’s and labs not more important than a few extra dollars in the bank? Jim Leask

140130

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WAR WITH INDIANS American plans for energy self-sufficiency rest heavily on planned exploitation of massive reserves of coal, oil and uranium in eight western states Nevada, Arizona, New Mexico, Colorado, Utah, Idaho, Wyoming and South Dakota. However, according to Mother Jones, the road toenergy self-sufficiency is fraught with confrontation. “There is, quite frankly, a war raging in the western part of the country; a war over energy and the environment. Much of it pits American Indian people against the federal government.” Approximately 30 per cent of the coal reserves in the west and 50 per cent of all American uranium reserves lie under reservation land. Already, the federal government has plans to move 6,100 Navajoes and Hopis from their present homes to an undisclosed site because of large coal deposits on their Arizona reservation. (Mother Jones, Dec. ‘80)

MORE MISSLES Monitor

Ottawa - Occasionally pleadmore often mocking, ing, Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau defended his constitutional plan in a two-hour Commons performance yesterday, calling it “a crucial step in nation-building.” Pouring scorn on those who would stop or delay the project, Mr. Trudeau told a packed House that there is no time like the present for action, and “no longer room for ‘either the cowards or the uncommitted.” Entering the parliamentary debate for the first time since he introduced the constitutional resolution at a press conference six months ago, Mr. Trudeau listed all the political arguments against his plan and attacked them one by one in a dissertation that was more than three times the normal length or parliamentary speeches. United Nations -‘About onethird of Djibouti’s population of 300,000 is -homeless as a result of floods following two years of drought, a United spokesman said Nations yesterday. (G&M, Mar. 24) Ghanaian students Coast sacked the Ivory Embassy in Accra yesterday to protest against the deaths of 46 Ghanaian fishermen in police custody in the Ivory Coast, the Ghana News Agency reported. (G&M, Mar. 19)

Accra

Stockholm

- Soviet authorEstonian ities sentenced human rights activist Veljo Kalep to four years hard labor, Estonian exile sources reported here yesterday. (G&M, Mar. 19)

(Reuter) - Two of Colombia’s left-wing top guerilla leaders were captured and 16 others killed in battles with troops last weekend, an army spokesman said yesterday. (G&M, Mar. 19)

Two more’ republican prisoners joined a hunger strike for political status in Norlthern Ireland’s Maze prison yesterday. Raymond McCreesh, serving 14 years for attempted murder, and Patrick O’Hara, jailed for eight years for possessing explosives, joined two men already on hunger strike. (G&M, Mar. 23)

Washington

Belfast

Toronto

- Smokers will have to pay about two to three cents more for a package of 25 cigarets by mid-April, major tobacco manufacturers said yesterday. The excise tax also applies to alcohol. The tax begins April 1 and will be adjusted every three months. The Liquor Licence‘ Board of Ontario plans to raise prices at least a nickel a bottle at the end of .next month, LLBO spokesman Olga Carmen said. (G&M, Mar. 24)

Bogata

- The Reagan Administration asked Congress yesterday to repeat an amendment which prohibits military aid to factions fighting the Angolan Government. (G&M, Mar. 20)

New Delhi - One person was killed yesterday when police opened fire at a rock-hurling mob in the western Indian state of Gujarat in continuing agitation by upper-caste Hindus against Hindu outcasts called untouchables, the United News of India reported. (G&M, Mar. 19)

Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher ordered a top-level probe yesterday of a spy scandal involving allegations that a former counterespionage chief ‘was probably a Soviet spy. The spy-hunter, Sir Roger Hollis, is the man who as an intelligence officer in 1945 was sent to Ottawa to question Igor Gouzenko afte.r Mr. Gouzenko’s defection from the Soviet Embassy there. (G&M, Mar. 24) Winnipeg A charge of manslaughter may be lodged in the death of a 26-week-old fetus whose mother was stabbed in the stomach, Crown Attorney Wayne Myshkowsky said yesterday. (G&M, Mar. 23)

Cape Canaveral,

Fla. (AP) -

A worker on the space shuttle Columbia died yesterday and another is in critical condition after they entered a compartment that had been purged of oxygen. The accident, involving six workers, followed a successful dress rehearsal of prelaunch activities, space centre spokesmen said. (G&M, Mar. 20)

Johannesburg

- South Africa has made one of its deepest raids into Angola against black nationalist guerillas of the South West Africa People’s Organization, the defence force chief announced yesterday. (G&M, Mar. 19)

The Jaz;z;Singer

TRIBUTE Academy

Award

Private

Nominee

Benjamin

ICoal Miner’s Daughter

Valley, Nevada - In what has been described as Warsaw The national the “greatest construction headquarters of Poland’s effort in the history of man” Solidarity independent union the United States is going said last night that a majority ahead with the building of a of its leaders were in favor of launch site for the new MX staging a general strike and missile defence system. that they were discussing its ‘The MX missile is a timing. Multiple Independently Tar,In Bydgoszcz, where 300 gettable Re-entry Vehicle delegates were meeting to (MIRV). Each missile is discuss action to protest capable of delivering 12 against polic beatings of union warheads of 350 kilotons each activists Thursday, Solidarity to 12 separate targets. Each officials said a vote on warhead is accurate to within possible strike action would 100 metres. be1 taken later. The project will construct (G&M, Mar. 24) 4600 silos, of which oily 20~1 will contain missiles. The other 4400 silos ‘are decoys. United Washington The construction will involve Nations’ ambassador Jeane 30,000 workers, over $40 Kirkpatrick had a private billion in cost and will need meeting with a South African 9,000 miles of new roads to general who kisited here connect the silos. recently in violation of US An added feature will be the policy, State Department need for 100 billion gallons of officials said yesterday. They water in what is now desert. said ‘Mrs. Kirkpatrick met “Once built, MX will be the Lwith one of two high-ranking most lethal weapon system in South African military inthe American inventory, the telligence officers who came only one able to destroy the to the United States two entire Russian land-based weeks ago in the guise of missile network in one go.” civilians. (Rolling Stone, Mar. 19) (G&M, Mar. 24)

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Wed-Fri An Artistic Endeavor

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Washington (Reuter) A senior US official said yesterday the Reagan Administration believes detente is dead and broad negotiations with Moscow are pointless now, but the White House insisted this did not represent Administration policy. (G&M, Mar. 19)

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*-‘‘iCUP) -Visa students planning, ‘to 1attend Simon Fraser University in the. fall will face tougher entrance requiremehts ,zas ’ a result of a senate decision March 2. S&J’ senators accepted a report from an undergraduate admissions board which recommended increasing the passing score on’ the Test of &gfi~~-~‘;F&&@cI&gy.mge to 570 from 550. The TOEFL amust ’ be written .by all non: native English-speaking stuY dents at SF’U. ’ ,+ L ‘l’he report has “discriminatory overtones”, student ’ senator _ . P Bill Litwin’ _ charged VA-iqC&JViK

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Once in business for them&es; s&Je& ape not left entirely on their own, however. The secretariat, has six information. officers in the field and the Bank provides a . student’ fmkcial liaison off&r, if there am pro&m. When the $rogram was, launched3 lg74,14 students took a shot at being their own ’ boss for a summer. ~ . Last’ ‘year; 148 projects involving some 200 Ontar$o students, got the go-ahead. ’ The secretariat reports that *inquiries for the '81 program are . well ahead\ of last year .with .mariy of those who participated in 1980 wanting a second chance at becoming entrepreneursfor the stun: Fw.“’

after the. meeting: Deficiency i.~ English is not-limited to foreign students, ‘he added. “It’s a problem that affects every individual in this institution.” - The report was prompted by concern that many foreign students at SFU do ‘not have sufficient IIEnglish / skills, _to . complete courses, admissions board chair Hal ‘Wienberg .sakL ’ 2-J .!<.,’ .!%:t -zt-~-Td:r;. The rep& &d a recent

; , provincialtask forceon in-

ternational student policy su-‘ ggested that a “university reekamine its. policy shquld the enrolment of inteqational students.-approach eight per cent.“, SFW already exceeds the -. / recommended -number with + 8.4 per cent, while the Univer-, sity of BC~ has 3.3 per cent . and the University of Victoria , 2.9 per cent; . Senate did allow the SFU ’ ’ admissions office to exempt students from thenew score if ‘, they>apply directly’ from third wok@. cohtries; .This action allows, SFU to recognize the accomplishments of top third world studentstiho, have not : - had a chance to learn English 1 . in an English environment, ,,. admissions board chair Kenji - ’ 1‘j ’ Ckuda s.;iid; -_ kudent senator Ted MC1 ‘. &abb said the report contravenes the latest draft of the I Canadian constitution by , i being discriminatory.. He , also said he’ felt the TOEFL ’ was not :a fair standard for h admission. “‘The. TOEFL is totally inadequate as a pre, dictor,” he said. ‘.‘Those , .’ 5 students are admitted .but “not tested on their academic . performance,” ’ ’ * ,<‘I

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.otier, 125 yizars.

On or off campus? the

mend hving in residence for the first two years of University. Why? Let’s takea look. No matter what year the student is in, he or she should consider the following criteria when considering residence living: convenience, the desired type of social activities, and the availability of others to help with school work. Such things as expenses, lack of privacy and high noise levels are also determining factors. Overall, a student’s personality must suit the style of living he or she is about to choose. For one individual, independence may be of major concern, while another may be willing to wait a little longer to achieve this. If the student’s personality dictates a need for individuality, freedom, and change of pace from university life, and a desire to avoid character ‘clashes, then off-campus is qhe place to live. One major advantage to living off-campus is a smaller I economic strain to students, Appartments are available for under $200/month with many ranging between $210clJ9Qn/mnc..Tcll kp~c)UI lIlullL. Students should be wary of anything illegal in their leases. A landlord may try various ploys to force tenants to pay dxtra money. The Legal Resource Office, at the LI1P,-r..., t--,.-c.., --_ bCl l lpU” LCll e, Ldll IlqJ the students determine credibility of the landlord and his lease. All the advantages

10% Discount to Fee paying Feds I I I 9 .v 1 I .I 1 11”L , ,--

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dence living are constantly increasing. Listed below are the proposed residence fees for 1981-1982: Village 1 single 1094/term, double double 1017/term, interconnetting 1055Aerm. Village 2 double 1017/term. St. Jerome’s College private 1140/term, double l@‘O/term. Resurrection 23OO/session. Renison College,. single 1147/term, Re^^^^/session. Renisurrecuon auu ~--‘son n-11--~,o~leg:esingle 1147/term, double 1070/term. Conrad Grebel 1075/term. St. Paul’s vunited T *. ’ “--- I’ ?rm. Married C1, , , _,lUYS/u A ~- 1 sruaenrs Apartments: 1 bedroom 235/month, 2 bedroom

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deter students-from living in residence. As one off-campus student said, “by the time we start meeting people at school, groups have already been formed,” and breaking through the walls of a group takes longer when a student lives off-campus. The constant contact with other students is missing in offcampus life, and so are quickly-formed friendships. has Another student commented that he did not like being “away from the spontaneity of campus life.” Off-campus, nights out are usually planned. In residence, one student may suggest going to the Bombshelter and immediately there will be a whole group of students ready to go along. M-campus, things happen on an individual basis, while in residence, things seem to occur in groups. It seems to be co-op residences which offer a median style. The co-op residences have boards, committees and their own judicial system which almost succeeds in making them a world of their own. If a student wants some individuality, some practical experience and cheap residence fees, co-op living may be what he wants; living in a co-op residence helps you to learn about responsibility through

can decorate rooms, since the residence is funded and controlled by the students. Wood panelling may seem extreme but it has been done. As with living offcampus, there is more of a “homey” atmosphere. seem to be Extremes popular, for one resident describes the villages as a “mental home” because of the noise level, the food, and the closed-in feeling he gets from the structure of the building. And’ although he described it as such,. he nevertheless returned to it after living off-campus; it seems that off-campus living led to loneliness. The villagers commented as well on how much they enjoyed having company. Perhaps loneliness can account for this statement made by a Village 2 don, “At least half a dozen people are coming back next year, even with roommates.” With this need for contact, it is not surprising that some of the Villagers complained that “with the Don of the first floor, the residents on the second and third floor don’t get to know her.” Students quickly learn that they will need friends somewhere at university and it is up to them to decide where they will make these first friends. Debbie Elliott

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Simon and his mother were arrested by the Argentinian government when he &as 20 days old. She has now been illegally put into a Uruguayan prison; however, Simon hasn’t been heard of since. Olga’s father was sentenced to 6 years in Siberia- for his writings. When she, her mother and her sister went to visit him, her sister said, “It is not my daddy,” indicating that this was not the person she once knew. Sophie’s family fled from Syria to Lebanon in 2963, for her father had b een a supporter of a previous government. In 1970,Syrian forces abducted him and imprisoned him in Syria. Sophie’s mother was left to support her five children, as well as two war-orphans. According to Amnesty International, all this happened in 1978 - the International Year of the Child. AI. is an international all parts of the world and won the Nobel Peace Prize in 1977. organization working on Last Tuesday and Thursday behalf of political -prisoners in

Imprint

documents outrages against

~~~~~~~~.~ierli

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representatives of the local chapter of AI held an information session at UW. The purpose of Amnesty International Information Day was to raise the level of awareness on campus of AI’s activities, according

young

to Rene Tragatsch, a UW student and member of the local branch. The focal point of’ Thursday’s activities was a slide presentation on children, presented by Don Morgenson, a psychology

professor at WLU. Morgenson explained that AI works for three main aims: the release of all “prisoners of conscience” throughout the world (that is, all those imprisoned for their beliefs, as long as they

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27, 1981.

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atrocities performed upon children during the Year of the Child, Joel Filartiga Speratti was 17 years old when the Paraguayan police abducted him. A slide of the boy’s body, showed that. he had been severely beaten and tortured with-electric shock. The boy had done nothing; his father, a local doctor, was well-known for-assist. ing the rural poor of the area. Over the years, AI has heard many cases of parents who have had their children taken away from them by the Soviet government for “neglecting their duties”; the families were Baptists, Pentacostalists, or Adventists who regarded Saturday as the Sabbath, and kept their children home that day. After leaving Chile, - Tamara’s mother described the treatment her 3-year-old daughter had received. “They undressed my little daughter and whipped her with ‘a leather whip. They put her in a’ barrel of ice water and held her head until she almost drowned. They threatened to rape her and whipped her again. This was repeated four times a day for four days.” Morgenson went on to explain the actions taken by AI to protest procedures like these. He said that their most effective method is the letter writing campaign, whose purpose it is to create publicity. He said some campaigns involve over 20,000 writers, which gives the process considerable impact.Morgenson cited the example of a 14year-old runaway who was sentenced to death by the Malaysian government for illegal possession of firearms in 1977. He was destitutely poor: he took a bag from a stranger for money without looking inside it. Worldwide protests forced the commutation of his sentence. Rob Dobrucki

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McGill Senate dislikes apartheid but refuses to put committment in recommendations to Governors MONTREAL (CUP) The McGill University senate “abhors and condemns apartheid in South Africa and elsewhere and asks the board of governors to consider this in its decision on divestment.” This motion was passed by McGill’s Senate, however, . after defeating an earlier one which would have recommended divestment to the governors. Student society president Todd Ducharme argued strongly in favour of the original motion on divestment, \ and was disappointed that senate did not think a recommendation of divestment was within its jurisdiction. “Although I am disappointed that divestment was not recommended, I see the adopted motion as a moral victory,” he said. Professor Myron Echenberg, speaking in favour of the divestment motion, said the issue was a question of “social responsibility versus, profitability.” “We cannot have a concept of social responsibility which has a price tag on it,” said Echenberg. Professor Don Donderi said continued investment was necessary because “exploitation is better than starvation.” Professor Jerome Rousseau said legalized racism and discriminatory divi-

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sion of labour in. South Africa could in no way be altered by the further presence of corporations. “Corporations cannot do anything but make empty gestures by remaining in South Africa. ‘Further-

more, the black population has given its support to divestment,” said Rousseau. Professor Tom Velk, however, opposed divestment. “My point is that you must make contact wjth

totalitarian regimes that’s the only-way you civilize them.” Velk said that continued investment was the “only hope of bringing civilization to places like the rest of us.”

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demand of them at hpme. , _. Leg&&m Cannot b.e held,++ a siatidard- *heri live! ar;e coritisteptly and br’utally ravqged, stunted am stiothered under the enactm.ent:of its principles. WC .The.Gon. Mark. MacF’uigan _’ ’ ’ .. s3 from the pershective o Setiretatiy of Sfa‘te for J&tern-$ Affairs,’ and ’ ../‘. “, ’ ‘ &Sk you3% begin.yo’ur criiicism the people In need, and..to then giveclear expres@cm o Party ‘MembeS respo+ible’.for Waterloo RidiXg 1 your findings. : ” Lres’ter;lB. Pearspn .Building’ _ -. , _ $u,rther, regarding j the prbpdse’d in&ea$e ..o 125’Sussex Drr\r,e eI \ , Caqadian tiilitacy qomponent<sales to-the USi can wl , Ottawa, Ortt.‘.K3A Od2 I ’ I _ ,jbelie,ve that “Canada Jl does not supply artis- to an; Mr, MacGuigan,' 2 -.I :; ~ ’ -- ! , ’ ’ * . geqtint&‘3 as JFCIU have- sai$, .;‘where Ithere is ia. -foreseeable‘ pdssibility of the, gover,gment, using thl e‘ ‘We have. ,heard YOU exp&%s :the .hope that -“the ’ arms of ifs own people,*: at ;! time when the: Us i probl*ms?n Latin’ Ametiica, incluairig J31Salv$dbr, car! -’ I’ pbur@g uhab.ashe$ly millions. of ddllars of crowt &n be overcome..th&&gh the frse expressidns of the ’ I cgntro,l aiid anti+$erilla weaponry. into the Centra .l reipecfi\re peoples, and without foreign inttirfeFence,“T< :: Am&an ;c’o&ntries? _ i_ : . TfiiF: was yo~~r rft.sponse4a@ December t?-!Uxl.ose of G.. -I Can. we‘, simply argue iway ‘the .Ganad/Tg I&ade. the J-ni~d.Na~ipns,.~~~~~al P;‘@&$bl$ at.$hich’ ii&? ..-T . I ’ ‘“cpm@ohc$nt$ ‘i?. ‘this ’ equipment ai. “%aiance of all Ilnd~beii,Ei~~idnS.virer’ie,gdked~~,Pefrain~ro~s,epding 1. - 1 ’ :..- $ym+&’ -ftil-fillmtints?., We” jtistified our. sales to the &ifary i;id $0 E!,SajQ<~@r,‘~’ ’ .-i I_*,‘QGe;- -~l’t --I -f: ‘-,-.. 11.2.:” 47: .: US in this &ai throughout the Vietnam WA!:. ,‘- We b&ard of <ydur suspensioq : bf iall’, a$ditiqrial-+- _ . ’ Since r/Gk, havelno control over the+merica+ usage-of foreign I aid from this. d?te a’s a,e ;‘indication -@our, r - + der. .rp~.oducts , -,\+re ask- y0-u to stop, all mj$tary c&cern about this situatitin.” An-d we-have h&rd $0;~ p. compotie+t Sz$% to‘ the. US until &by rehonor the d&ounce the -~rece.nt US plan& ,of .sendipg and,.: ’ ’ 7,4Jec~rn~& XIN’%.@uest. -undeti -the policy you’ have ’ @qe,diate $5’ .rhillion2 &ilitary aid package _ t;6 this i ‘I : ’ 0;’ knotiingly indirectly, I i -_’ - . : . ‘ afat&lT,we-, ca-nriot -dire$tly,, .already. strife<to?n’ coudtyy. _si?,p$y arms- -Tto the ‘prese~nt; El Salvadorean, _>-.-We’support yc&in these moves tow,ard &&$o~icy “- 1 @@amalan Gr Hbnduran gdvernments; overameri’ts ~bf respect f&! -the iyill of repressed -peoples; &id- “. I-, * .. which w$igh- e&no& stabilitp .:more fl eavily than e&ourage you to tise your affice as a st,r&g%oice bfu . hu.m;rnF’riglit& &id qse the -machinery‘ of violence to ^ . our cohtinued cbgiern. .( q~ie7t~~?he.dverwhel~in~ nu’mbers of$iss?tisfied and We-ha& not ‘fiiJ)o,v\red iop $n. t,he pa&as $&$oiol<ed 1 .’ 1. & “a - ‘,lmpq’veritihed p+ple @der their authority. gover@@t of ‘JQs&’ Na$@$bn *: ,‘:.:: 1’ .*.J% ask.yb+.$ tQ help.teii$$ tipon- , thef‘pyesent the violence .on all.fron& p.um~ as ;” cen+$gqvernment; as ‘be<ti$+t<@.& - ; . ‘.- *+‘b$.&op~ing$he-srivate’aad public arms-itidustries in frd& the left, arid the Figh!, an&as therefore des_e&ing + !, .-Can&afrom’ sending i their produc_fs to Central of- dur supporf.” ~ -. : . j ’ ;.. -. I . Arn~&‘Lc~ via’ the .:m. +!. -’ Thede labels-are- misl@&nk The” real ~@~-&t iti El : ,T; - 1. ’ WeZfollqw”tlie :brave ivordS qf Archbishop Romero’s &4vador, ,as in Gtiatam$Tg],akd ather ,neigh@&ring - .- - su&es&r .A Bishop Rivera Ygamas as he risks his life stateS,;@ontinue‘~~t~~be be$ti&n the cicb ani$, ,ibe pqoti. to repre&znt the battered people of El Salvadoti: we . ’ If the- present g’otirnments are ’ not truly $$nsitive .i. says: :, .’ ‘i -t;hf thzis, wh@hgF.ic%ntre, ri’ght or ‘left, theq -i,‘-Bce.‘tiot.’ ” respon&bili& cominended to Us . ’ “‘.Me sped&-with&e ’ b’$ &d %tid the pain cind’suffering bf the &lvadorean “d&f$ng of al’;r.inater&l”or &.r&’ $upp&,‘&&@$ ‘. :“‘-,.f.~9eo+le.i. N?%otigh:those &ir&tly responsible for this ,--facade of la&--refor&‘. i,s ‘+a .&i-ti., as it w.a& only ,::* . -pefs&&tion’ I tgy to hide their guilt, d.enouncing t.htF ,l5’4 $f $rable land. The truth here . _’ &olence slickly -a+ a batt!e.between i irit&$d.to.affect the far-right and-. ~‘must be redognized by ‘other. gqyernmentg a$d giy?n _I ‘,A9 j ~ .L-’. > .+the ‘y..’ fat left .& . &vertheless it has bken evideqt that th&; Gioice’.‘Mie ask you to da,&is. ’ ... -..: L. L’: ,.._ _ , * maj@tLk%f”$he .p&ectition .of the--Chcrch has been’ We ar&onfideli‘t th;it y&u and your office will not ‘. . .carri& ’ QU! ‘b-y 3&&ity~ fdrces; We hold. responsible‘ ?fall p&y to t&e’emba’rr&sing and-insulting US tactic. ’ forces, p-dramilitary. &f rec$cing ,the’~~eSent.confli~8’~“CeptFal.,America”” %’ &ids.r t&he: securit:y ’ . j ” and thethe’far-rightist goveritment j junta.” into ‘l+tleb’~b~~~e& ctimrnu$sti,&d: freedom, The Becausk bf.*Dhis we demhnd .. . #at no military aid be’ uprisings-are .‘tiuch mtire com@ex and t!oug.htful : ’ givq’.t.-I In’ . spit& &the d&la&ions about its purposei’ \ , 2:’, ’ , than this., - ,,: ,, S +:mi&qy &d @#t&es-repression agpikst the people 4 ’ The orig$s, 0-f the’$resetit tur~+$‘do not stem frow - qr$: th~e.pa$.~~ti@qn of the -Church.“. . * . . .I, * .‘ri;.n acceptan+ of ~~~iet-~~nii”Cu~P~.~~~~.‘The.vidience. ! ‘***’ ‘rWe-a&$oLti, M+..Ma&G.&igan to answer*our;demandsistructures first ’ @ok /A . in &lid,@tjr: began w@en the ..capit&i behind the- passionate cries of the people j’ #!lv&ntage .oQhe common p&o@. Th&>esol%@ons to _’ ,, I of &$&al Am@~a. We are the undersigrie,$; 1. .‘~~~es’e.con~~cls-~~~t be political, as you say, butythey . ’ : ‘_ . . , 1 *,,

’ _. ‘: 1:s

I~.*

;

the the kon

‘.

iss+,e+ , “BGt I ^ think its cent&i1 &J follow studies with.,action ana’eniotidn. __zJL-Lnv&$&ent k’. ” he --.1 -~L-fI mainr,a!ns. .believe .a _ . . .;&i.feld s, it is &$&ant -.-that st u.dents’ ‘con’ce++d-3b.o ut E-l Salvador ‘join in I:signing the .letter 5;ince, * *he says, “MP’s, cler gy-, and people iti authority are., very “r\n-r,rr”:r,a +, ,.-.-:*c,, 1t;iJpu113l.vt= 1g, wI'111e:H I. ‘_criticism OF s@port.” -L era1 = I .I--a--J-----marg banaerson

I truggle-in-El-Salvador The American’public was prepared for the white paper Alexander Haig, American secretary of State, formally unveiled February !3. They were not only prepared for the paper ntitled Communist Intevention in El Salvador jut predisposed in its favor.

The return of the 52 hostages from Iran, accompanied by ticker-tape parade and fevered media blitz was anything but triumphant. The tail-feathers of the American eagle were rather crumpled and the collective American ego bruised badly. The election of a strong, right-wing president, they thought would not only help the dire economic situation but would ensure that American supremacy would not suffer . another fling on the mats. Ronald Reagan selected only millionaires to form his cabinet while wife Nancy rushed out to find a dress under $15,000 for the inaugural ball. The national budget was slashed, particularly in the social services. The defense budget was increased however. Alexander Meigs Haig was installed as Secretary of State although many doubted that he was morally qualified for the job. The New York Times, mindful that so little was known about his views of the world, labelled him “vague Haig”. Haig was educated for a military life and saw combat in Korea and Vietnam. He publicly objected to Carter’s decision to cancel the neutron bomb. As White House Chief of Staff, under Henry Kissinger’s order, he requested FBI phone taps on certain government officials and reporters. For his support of the administration during the last days of the Nixon era, Haig was jumped over 250 senior officers to’become a four-star general. Loyalty is applauded in Washington; Haig passed confirmation hearings and became the only military man in American history to hold down the State Department. The number two man at State, William Clark, amazed the world by his lack of knowledge in foreign affairs. The white paper released by the State Department is not virginal. Historians say the purpose of the paper, which originated at the beginning of WW I, was to provide the public with a historical narrative of a political policy or diplomatic event. The same historian said candidly, “White papers weren’t meant to be a tendentious argument for a body of select documents.” The nucleus for Haig’s white paper is two separate batches of “guerrilla documents and war material” seized by Salvadorian forces in El’ Salvador. In his press briefing Haig said that the documents “are not our only source. Technical means and human intelligence were used to confirm the documents.” Aside from such “definitive evidence” the report went on to say; “In its commitment to reform and democracy, the Government of El Salvador has had the political support of the United States ever since the October 1979 revolution.”

The white paper provides examples of progenerated with the aid of communist apaganda networks. One of the more extreme cases, it stated, was that the El Salvadorian government’s security forces were respon-

sible for most of the 10,000 killings that occured in 1980. -Rather than rely on-information of dubious origin, publicized-by a government with interests to protect, it would be wiser to turn to the files of Amnesty International (AI). This is an international concern launched in 1961 to work impartially and without political . connection for the release of people imprisoned for their religious or political beliefs. In 1977 they were awarded the Nobel Peace Prize. The award committee said in part, “AI has contributed to securing the ground for freedom, for justice and thereby also for peace in the world.” AI’s file on El Salvador for the year 1980-81 is several feet thick. It contains submissions to human rights commissions and statements *made to the Organization of American States. There are long lists of people from every background, ranging in age from infant to 80 years who have been killed or have disanpeared. Some died from bullet wounds,

’

others raped and/or tortured. found mutilated, faces erased, and eyes gouged.

That report goes on to say that young people and peasants seem to have been singled out for death, Red Cross clinics have been attacked, foreign and domestic journalists have disappeared or been killed while reports were received that Salvadorian paramilitary squads attacked refugee camps in Honduras. Harpers’ March 1981 issue carries a report on El Salvador by T.D. Allman. Harpers is a conservative American publication supported by a full page for United Technologies and General Motors. The article contains the following: “However diligently one searched for significance, one found only terrorized, v-hapless people - abused, barefoot women with no food or medicine for their malnourished children: landless, jobless, illiterate men and boys fleeing for their lives from the “security forces” of their own national government; mutilated bodies beside the road.” “When I asked them if they were revolutionaries, the villagers all raised their hands. “To be a revolutionary,” one man explained, “is to fight against the soldiers who kill people who have committed no crime.” The soldiers are sent by what Washington terms “a Christian Democratic-military coalition.” The president is Jose Napoleon Durarte, a man once tortured by the same military he now supposedly co-governs with. A reign of terror exists in El Salvador; no one is immune. The Catholic Archbishop was assasinated. American nuns were raped and killed. Teachers were shot before their students. Peasants and children have died. It does not matter, if you are Salvadorian, that you are mute with fear or critical of the government. It is this situation that the American government seeks to support with increased military aid. Church leaders have spoken against such action. Robert White, former US-Ambassador to El Salvador lost his job questioning the wisdom of supporting such carnage. Unfortunately American newspapers have centered on Haig’s white paper and his hard line on communism so much that the word communist appears with McCarthyite regularity. The Washington Post; billed as an “Independent Newspaper” ran this editorial days before the release of the white paper: “A military response is a necessity in El Salvador, where a Nicaraguan, Cuban, Soviet supported insurgency is attempting to overthrow an army-backed center-right government with a commitment to

Bodies have been genitals cut off

Taken from AI document AMR 29-07-81, dated 2 February 1981: “Despite government claims that those killed by its forces are guerillas and guerilla sympathizers, victims of torture and death at the hands of the security forces were not generally shown to have any direct involvement in armed guerilla activity . . . By attributing detentions, torture $nd killings to groups beyond government control, the government of El Salvador seems to have sought a means of evading accountability for extreme brutal measures carried out by its I own security forces.”

’

Social reforms were promised but never fulfilled. The wealthy elite who would have lost power and money stymied it and now fight both the government and what is referred to as the left-wing guerillas. Where does the extreme right get arms? Haig isn’t interested in revealing that information. . Philosophers say you can’t travel the same river twice. One wonders because this propaganda drive by the American military has the same current as the river that flowed red in Viet Nam. Lynn Moore

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Imprint

Japan marches out into new. territory

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March

The band calls it “passive confrontation” it is the premise upon which Japan was formed nine years ago by five brash nonconformists, including Mick Karn, Richard Barbieri, Rob Dean, and Steven Jansen - in the conformity-oriented tradition of the English school system. This ideology is evident in the painted, protected face of the album cover, and translated into their music. It establishes the tone and the direction of Gentlemen Take Polaroids. The result is an album steeped in atmospheric difference - a precedent, a new direction not handled by anyone else. The album adds what may be a new dimension to the new music - Gentlemen Take Polaroids is, or at least deserves to be, . an important album. “And if you said you loved me, how could I mind? Is there another side to everything you do?” This, from the title cut, curtly summarizes the content of the new Japan release. It is subtle and well-crafted, perhaps even resigned to deviation. Yet it is never redundant; there is a new side (perhaps no side) to everything they do. Held together by similar style, working from unconformity yes, but never repetitious. The music does “confront”. It challenges, dares many of the standardized, full sounding, synthesizerheavy efforts prominent in recent’ months.. This is not to say that this album is not lush; indeed, the music oozes with atmosphere often verging upon ambience. This fullness, however, is rarely the only prominent aspect of the album; it is imaginatively counterbalanced with (“confronted” by) very stark, tempo-menacing rhythms. I’m sure very few of us ever would

have thought these rhythms incorporable into the new wave today. Kevin plays intricate syncopated bass lines customarily attributed to fusion-oriented bands such as Weather Report. Sometimes enhancing the melody, sometimes failing it. Saxophone often augments the full, synthesized sound, but it works best when inserted in choppy, short-note additions. And much of the keyboard-synthesizer work is also done in short effective runs. In “Swing”, the second song on the album, bass and sax intricately trade or bound off each other and are overlaid with cool, airy synthesizer, taking the edge off the bounce and resulting in a piece that does really, intelligently, “swing”. The album is also blessed with the most unconventional, interesting and exciting percussion yet to come from the new music. Jansen often works his drums against the bass in blatantly emphasized off-beats or in some cases, refrains completely as in “Burning Bridges”, which is drumless. “Ain’t that Peculiar” sets the tone of the innovative style of Japan. Off-beat percussion and syncopated bass counter highlpitched woodwinds and spacey, distorted synthesizer. What could be irritating, over-taxing music is pacified however, by the dreamily brooding voice of David Sylvain, oozingthrough and above the instrumentation and tying all together in a lush, rich sound. Subtle, brooding atmosphere is achieved by a full mix of mature, intricate rhythm superimposed over a solidifying layer of synthesized sound: the different instruments oppose each other; the different so-unds confront, and counterbalance, but none predominate. The confrontation is passive. The notion of “passive confrontation” is the unifying element in this album; intricate and opposing sounds meet, blend together, and forge a new musical direction of unrealizable significance. J.R.

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Friday,

March

27, 1981.

Imprint

. . . And never the Twain shall meet Every one-man show depends on how able reading from Huckleberry Finn . . . the successful the actor is at creating (or rather, high point of the first act. re-creating) the character of one person. ’ But the best part of the show was the Richard Henzel succeeded so well on character Twain himself. There was one short Tuesday night, gave us so true a lecture by section I don’t know if it was from Mark Twain, that he failed in an odd way. Speeches or if Henzel improvised - which Henzel did not merely recreate Mark Twain, was directed at some late arrivals: “YOU he gave us one of Twain’s lectures, ostensibly didn’t miss much - about five minutes. There set in about 1906. It was a moving, funny, were some good moments in those five warm example of what Mark Twain could do. minutes; really funny moments. Of course, ‘Unfortunately, Mark Twain was also an there were some poignant moments too, but actor, and there were sides of himself he it was mostly just good stuff. In fact I would go never allowed to be seen by the people who so far as to tell you that the core of this attended his lectures. They were an act, euening’s presentation was in those first five carefully put on, designed to present only minutes. All these people have sworn a pledge certain facets of Samuel Langhorne Clemens. not to tell you what happened then.” (--Or That is why Henzel does not succeed entirely. words to that effect; I can’t do him justice.) For any other actor doing a one-man show It was hilarious, wonderful. (for instance, when James Whitmore did Richard Henzel has been preparing for this Give’em Hell, Harry), there are many role since he was 17; he has over five hours of opportunities to let the audience see what - -material memorized and (they tell me) motivates the man. There were not so many chooses the material each night to match the for Henzel. audience. The evening’s material was taken from Twain’s published works. There were exI liked Mark Twain just the way he was cerpts from Speeches, Life on the Missispresented. sippi, Following the Equator and a memorJohn McMullen

Fantasy Footwork

.Filrn provides change of pace The UW Arts Centre International Film Series concluded a varied and enjoyable season Tuesday by screening Werner Herzog’s Aguirre, the Wrath of God to a sparse crowd in Humanities Theatre. This series is one of the best chances students have to see inexpensive alternative cinema in a good setting and with a wellbehaved audience, and I for one am glad that more people don’t take advantage of it, as it makes it easier to get a good seat. Aguirre (197&? is a good example of the excellence achieved in postwar German cinema a surtax on theatre tickets and a government not afraid to subsidize experimental culture. (The contrast with the cheap Hollywood imitations supported by our tax dollars is painfully embarrassing.) But apart from a brief commercial run of Fassbinder’s Marriage of Maria Braun and a Wim Wenders retrospective at last year’s WLU Arts Festival, it has been next to impossible to view any products of the German New Wave. To see such meisterwerks as Syberberg’s Our Hitler, it has been necessary to travel to Toronto or Montreal. The film concerns the fate of a scouting party that becomes separated from Pizarro’s 1560 expedition from Peru in search of the mythical El Dorado. Trapped by dense jungle, they travel downstream in rafts. When rapids, whirlpools, and hostile Indians intervene, the leader attempts to turn back, but is upstaged by Aguirre, who leads a successful mutiny and appoints a weak ‘nobleman Emperor of El Dorado. The expedition continues, through various intrigues and attacks, deeper and deeper into unexplored territory. Finally, only Aguirre is left alive, floating aimlessly *on a wrecked raft and raving about being the wrath of God, sent to destroy New Spain. It would be too easy to see life on Aguirre’s raft as a microcosm of modern society. Like Golding’s “Lord ‘of the Flies”, this film succeeds as a straight adventure story, a curious mixture of the lyrical and intellectual. The opening shot is a breathtaking view of Pizarro’s expedition descending from the misty heights of the Andes into the oppression of the rainforest, and throughout the theme is

that of man’s inflexibility dooming him upon exposure to a hostile environment. Shots of armoured conquistadors on horseback and senoritas in sedan chairs foundering in the bog are hilarious, as are the priest’s feeble attempts to convert the natives; but the most telling and universal scene is the one where a spear pierces a feverish, starving soldier. “This is no arrow,” he denies solipsistically; “That is no forest.” Aguirre’s descent into madness, fuelled by the river and the overinflation of his personal ambition, parallels that of Kurtz in Heart of Darkness. Both men are levelled by their attempts to create their own universes. Aguirre’s scheming intensity as he glides through the film is in contrast to the silent dignity of the deposed leader, Don Ursa. For all of his military genius, Aguirre cannot understand Ursua’s refusal to get upset at his own hanging. He cannot understand why Ursua’s wife simply walksawayinto thejungle. Unlike us and unlike his opponents on the raft, he cannot see the signs of classical tragedy in his actions. . The cinematography was a refreshing change from the contrived productions playing at local theatres. Frequent use of hand-held cameras accentuate the claustrophobic feeling in the jungle, and aerial travelling shots on the river emphasize the linear freedom of the raft. Herzog is not above breaking the narrative to insert long sequences of wave patterns in the rapids or travelling shots of the endless foliation. An added bonusis theethereal music provided by Pop01 Vuh, from the Tangerine Dream school of impressionistic composition. Aguirre was preceeded by two NFB shorts, as is the custom in this series. Demons and Marvels was unremarkable except in its anticipation of the Dungeons & Dragons character known as the gelatinous cube; but L’Age de Chaise was an enjoyable bit of surrealist animation that combined mime photography with simulated travelling-shot perspective to produce a grim tale of relentless progress. It was suitable foreshadowing to a most though-provoking evening. Caspar Gutman

Walking home from Centre in the Square, Tuesday night I felt like I was walking on air. Having just seen The National Ballet of Canada give a flawless performance of The Sleeping Beauty, I was impressed. Before the opening of the Centre last fall, the Kitchener-Waterloo area had been a cultural wasteland. Simply, the area did not have the facilities to allow international troupes, such as The National Ballet of Canada to perform. accomodate the enormous set of The Sleeping Beauty, Kitchener’s inhabitants are able to have a taste of cultural magnificence. Tile Sleeping Beauty tells the story of Princess Aurora. After pricking her finger on

a breath of fresh ai The dancers carr tale world where revel in the chara result be if instea the company danced

breathtaking. The illusion of an ancient royal court, in all its splendour, stood before the audience’s eyes. Flowing gowns and colourful tu-tu’s were combined to create a fairy tale world of visual beauty. A magnificent staircase gave promise of an extraordinary palace beyond. The entir sensual pleasure that see bidden. Dancing the role of Princess Aurora, Vanessa Harwood demonstrated that it is possible to remain sixteen forever. Her technique was precise, yet her movements were graceful and smooth. As the Bluebird, David Roxander cer-, tainly deserves highest praise. His interpretation d the creature of flight was superb. Grace and elegance pervaded his every move, leading the audience to believe that he indeed was a bluebird. At a post-performance reception, Roxander praised the facilities of-the Centre in the Square. He commented that while the floor of the stage was hard, it was spacious. For Roxander .and the rest of the company, the space of the facilities was a definite plus.

Both .Roxander and Harwood said that they felt the audience was highly receptive. They said that the spontaneous applause throughout the program was refreshing after the predictable applause of Toronto audiences. The Company was very pleased with its first performance at The Centre in the Square. The general consensus of both the dancers and the audience was that the return of The National Ballet of Canada could not come soon enough; such a warm and wonderful group of people should be welcomed back with open arms. Julie Lynne Jobce

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Friday,

March

27, 1981.

Imprint

17 ,-

Sci-fi --and fantastyPblend

No limits hold radio play and latest Heidein opus What do Jim Gardner, UW computer whiz,and writer, and Robert Heinlein, one of the most popular science fiction writers of the last two or three generations have in common? For one thing, they think alike. For another, neither is bound by the supposed “limitations” of hiscraft - why not mix science i fiction with fantasy? Why not put Oz in a modern science-fiction novel? Or have Donder and Blitzenas two of your chief characters? And third, neither writer takeshimself tooseriously. Ifeitherdid, TheNumberoftheBeastand Percy Pulsar, Space Accountant would each be unbearable. The Number of the Beast Robert A. Heinlein Fawcett Columbine, 1980 Beast has been waiting for review since September, when it first appeared in this area; I’ve just been trying to get an angle on it. It is a very complex novel, with a common premise in science fiction, but a premise rarely used in this way. The basis of the book is “alternative universes”. A group of scientists (two male, two female, the females being wives of the males) are chased off Earth by a gang of aliens because the aliens don’t like the idea of Earthlings possessing the “space-time twisters” that make intrauniversal travel possible. Naturally, one of the scientists has just invented one. Our heros decide they really have no interest in going back to Earth (awful place, anyway, aliens notwithstanding. Their Earthis not unlike what ours could be thirty-odd years from now.) They decide to explore the near-infinity of universes open to them. * * * * * The line of asterisks represents the science involved with the “space-time twister”. It is quite involuted, convoluted and possibly just plain crazy. I don’t understand it at all. The style hints that the science might make sense - but I doubt it. I just accepted that the machine works, and I suggest the reader does too. Without this premise, the story can’t happen. So why not let it? I wonder if Heinlein felt the same way? The story is one of the characters exploring the universes. And they wander into another bbok.

Einsteinian relativity takes over and it decreases in length. How to measure this? With a meter stick...) Episode Three is’ coming up this Saturday night. Tune in for a very entertaining half hour. Read the Number of the Beast. afterwards. Go out for a pitcher of beer aft& that.

idealism. It’s very easy reading and I should say a “must” for the science-fiction fan. A “something Which something

for everybody”

story.

brings us to Percy for anybody story.

Pulsar

But if you see Jim Gardner and Robert Heinlein at the next table havingadrink with E. E. Smith, L. Frank Baum or Michael Moorcock, don’t join them. You might end up in a radio play. John

W. Bast

Percy CKMS

Pulsar, Space Accountant Jim Gardner Radio, 10:00 pm currently running Thursdays and Saturdays.

The basic difference between Pulsar and Beast lies in the area of intent - Pulsar, of course,isblatantlyacomedyandwasmeantto be nothing else. The similarities lie in each work’s use of the “former art”of science fiction and fantasy.

The book is an anthology of major science fiction stories and fantasy stories, from “Alice in Wonderland” through Oz, to E. E. Smith’s “Lensman” series. Then we wandered back into a Heinlein The Galaxy needs an accountant. None of the more common space-faring races can bear the chore of accountancy; only one, hitherto ignored species has produced this most boririg of professions. You guessed it - us. So earth receives Visitors. An unlikely pair, Perpetually Vegans, they recruit Percy Pulsar (an avid reader of “He-Man Monthly”, whose hero is James Bond; who drives an AstonMartin DB-3 that can hit 150 KPH in half a block, before it passes the public school dowv the road; and who has been known to

world - but a different

one.

Remember Lazarus Long? He’s in Heinlein’s last, or possibly second-from-thelast, book. A fantastic character, he’s lived three thousand years through a genetic fluke, and has stored up enough experiences for at least three more sequels. In any case, our heros end up with Lazarus - and then the book really goes crazy. .The book ends up as a science-fiction convention, with major authors - and the characters - attending. For me - and doubtless for Heinlein - it was Old Home Week, especially since the characters he most often used were from previous books of his own. I was also pleased to see representatives from, in my opinion, some of the best science-fiction written in the last thirty years present in the convention - or elsewhere in the book. In short, Beast is a fun story with the usual Heinleinesque undertones of philosophy and

Wars), Empress Mezuzan (from the “Sara” shows, Gardner’s own) Rudolph, Donder and Blitzen (you know where from) who are able zlap “between” (courtesy of Anne McCaffrey’s “Dragon” yarns). Much of the action takes place on the GenFen (from any multigeneration starship story, but I’ll bet Starship bv Brian Aldiss). I’d like - reallv. reallv like ti say who the GenFen is crew;2 by, but that might spoil it. Oh, yes. The Xenothonians. Who’d thought a pinball machine would end appearing in a science-fiction comedy?

‘a up

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Pulsar meets these creatures, and more, whilst in search of the Cosmic Ledger Books, needed to solve the problem of the shrinking speed of light. (Don’t bother to try and get it. It’s ungraspable. Kinda like Heinlein’s “spacetime twister”but hereI’mcertainit’scrazy. But fun. How do you measure the shrinking speed of light? Swing a yardstick around really fast.

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4 goup’s histo~,. which 1 might add is somewhat short and bordering on illustrious. The Zellots opened for Simple Minds in London (Ont.) last week and for John Cale at The ELF Monday night. Their careers may gel even faster if they can etch OF vinyl the tunes they do on stage. Especially songs like Lou Reed’s “Sweet Jane” and Nancy Sinatra’s “These Boots” (no laughing, please). c . 7-7 . / c

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’ But mbney is the name ok the game “prbduce or perish”. You have tp sell yourself to survive and this survival is direct19 proportional to the exposure *the ‘band receives. This is the sacred, time-tested way of “Big Business”. This situation poses a serious dilemma for the followers of such a band. The Zellots have developed a rapport, a form df intimacy with their fan following. Thus they offer the individuality afforded by so many of the bands on today’s new music scene. This’individuality, of having one’s own band, is the underlying characteristic Of followers in the punk atrld blitz counteycultures, and is undermined by a successoriented grategy stlch as coast-to-coast exposure. Yes, The Zellots are good, almost too good. But how lo& can jh6y afford to remain poor

and keep their following? * ,People who attended bst Friday and Saturday’s performances found them very danceable. The perpetually moving mass of humanity on the -- floor - can- attkst to that f&t. r The Kent seems to have evolved into a local hang-out, similar in many ways to the Back Door. The consistently good live-entertajnment has acted as a catalyst, revitalizing the Kent and establishing a foot-hold for Artistic Eadeavours as “heads-up” promoters, As for the three-woman team and their drummer, they display an attitude of professionalism both on atid off the stage which is sure to net them a fair share of praise, as well as friends. s The Zeilots ure zealous musicians. Dan Ayad , ,

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The Arts K-W chamber music presentation: Borodin T&O sound entertainment Friday,

Edlina and Turovsky do not rely solely on their remarkable musicality to carry them through. There is obviously also’a high degree of intelligence and study involved. While making the most of each phrase, they are at the same time carefully shaping the movement, keeping all changes in dynamics and tempo subordinate to the overall plan, and providing a clear sense of harmonic direction.

The Borodin Trio, consisting of Rostislav Dubinsky, violin, Luba Edlina, piano, and Yuli Turovsky, cello, is a powerful group. After a taxing day last Friday, they arrived in Waterloo an hour late in the midst of a snow-storm and put on an awesom performance at 57 Yonge St. On the program were Tchaikovsky’s Piano Trio in A minor, Haydn’s Trio No. 28 in E, and Mendelssohn’s Trio No. 1 in D. Setting a standard of their own, ‘the Borodin Trio seemed determined to outplay any other imaginable interpretations of the works, and maintained an average level of performance that would be the peak of other groups. They played as one, with 100% mental concentration, the essential eye contact, and even seemed to breathe together.

It is hard to imagine cadential suspensions more meaningfully played than those on which violin and cello combined in the first of the Tchaikovsky. The movement unequivocal approach created great tension before the resolution. Thr Borodin Trio also dispayed good judgement by playing that which is simply simple. For examply, the Tchaikovsky first movement contains some folk-like melodies. These came across as exactly that. Similarly, in the same movement the pianist is required

One of their most striking characteristics as a trio is the tremendous sound which they produce, which is really too loud for anything but a large concert hall. In the music room at 57 Young St. W. they were at timesdeafening. a few members of the audience involuntarily jumped in some of the louder sections,and the page-turner looked terrified.

Animation as an art form is definitely coming back. Computer animation is being developed, Warner Brother is re-opening its animation studios, and a relatively new technique, rotoscoping, is becoming well used. Ralph Bakshi has used this new technique of filming live actors and drawing over them on film in quite a few movies in recent years: Fritz the Cat, Heavy Traffic, Lord of the Rings, and now, American Pop American Pop is the story of music in America from the turn of the century to present told through four generations of a family. A healthy dose of American history is also given, with a musical point of view.

BENT, your Federation of Students Presents an Evening with:

MAX WEBSTE Advance:

for a while to sound intermittent chords as a basis for the melodies of the two string players. Edlina, who usually moved with the music, remained motionless while playing these, thus indicating her perception of the chords as points of departure which in themselves did not go anywhere. The string melodies were all the more effective for the contrast. Since the Tchaikovsky was placed first on . . the program, one had no way of telling whether this surprisingly strong performance was more indicative of the way Russians play Tchaikovsky, (i.e. the culturally “correct” interpretation.) . II or of the Borodin Trio itself. Indeed, the beginning of the Haydn was markedly subdued in comparison, played with the charm and *grace one expects in works of the Viennese classic period. This impression though was not to last long. In the third movement, all the energy stored up in the first two was released, and it became c

27, 1981.

lmpritd

evident that the Borodin when going all out. Haydn shocked.

Trio is happiest would have been

Likewise it must be said that their interpretation of the Mendelssohn did not emphasize the more refined and delicate aspects of the composition. Strength and volume were again the key characteristics of their performance. Romantic lines played by the cello set the whole audience swaying. The pianist seemed to summon up more power for every *run. Together the three players generated waves of sound and brought the work to a resounding finish. They hadastandingovation. K-W Chamber Music concerts during the month of April are: April 5, the Canadian Chamber Ensemble with Raffi Armenian at the piano; April 18, a Russian evening with pianist Adrienne Shannon; and April 23, Kenneth Hull, piano. Jean Chick

Music history animated

Incredibly, Edlina did not feel the piano could be adequately heard during the first movement of their opening number, and to the amusement and amazement of the audience decided to open the lid. If their playing can be criticized at all, it is for reasons of this nature: for giving too much; for infusing so much energy into the works that the intent of the composer has been more than realized, it has been stretched beyond the limits of that which is aesthetically appropriate. In the second movement of the Tchaikovsky, for example, there were times when one longed for respite from the heavy hammering and sawing. The effort to outdo themselves came close to being their undoing. To counterbalance this though there were many moments of perfection. Dubinsky,

One Show Only Sunday, March 29th 8 PM. Humanities Theatre

March

The movie starts with scenes of Czarist Russia, from where a boy and his mother emigrate to America. The boy begins hanging around burlesque clubs, eventually becoming a performer. The story continues with the lives of his son, grandson, and great-grandson, and their involvement in music: 1920’s rag, jazz, the big band sound, 50’s rock, 60’s folk and rock, 70’s heavy metal, and 80’s punk. The story is serious and starkly real in places, and shallow in others. The animation is great. Although the rotoscope technique loses some of the freeflow of true animation, it gains an aura of

realism. The music sequences are also welldone, with people on filmed backgrounds and matte boards, strengthening the mood of the music. The music! There’s lots of it from all the periods since the early 1900’s. As to later music there ‘are many familiar artists and songs: “Purple Haze” by Jimi Hendrix, “Hell is for Children” by Pat Benatar, “California Dreaming” by The Mamas & Papas, and music by Bob Dylan, Lou Reed, Janis Joplin, Bob Seger, and more. All in all, American Pop is a movie not to be missed, if only for the music and visual spectacle. But the plot’s not bad, either. Glenn St-Germain

End of Term Pub featuring

CRAWFORD When:

Last Day of Classes Tuesday, March 3Ii8 pm

Where:

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Tickets: Tues. R/larch 31st Noon C.C. Great Hall FREE! “Enjoy your lunch break experiencing an electronic and traditional fusion of the ballads, jigs and reels indigenous to Canada.”

Advance tickets available at Eng. Sot. office and Fed office

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‘1. Data General m&&ova, design and eonitruct hardware - for irision ’ apparatus [$60&$l,odo/month). . ,Dr. Beauchamp,-- 8f331211, I e%-

,‘_. 1

-One month, free\ refit. Phone . +- :. a&l&& .

/3655.~-

IrmMI,

Employme&‘G0m. Suwrn& ‘puter- technician to program

’ i

-For rent:.l&rge die-bedroom ’ ‘epartment. May-S&. Stiu-’ ~ nti, -squash , co& $230/ . _ I ~m&th. .Phone.742-9817.’ ” Xnner- flobr of farmhousecto _ -rent, snare *nouse ana. yara * _ with. quiet .ftitiily. Stanley

Senior AcCpunt,ing MBnager - Primary

.’

I 1*

I .I-'-

'.: . ! .

; /,

Backpackers: etn .$l200./ month, enjoyably! ‘, Information $3.0~. I&Id&less I-Expeditions, . 97 Spadina ’ aRoad, ---I --306, : . Toronto, Canada

. -

IX& Jdclky fh7itie A:B.C. -(Disk Jockey Service+- Add a- professional ..toti+. to .-your ’ party, --banqu&t, wedding, 1 or. ,reception! You want good music, in all styles and tastes:‘ we have it.‘ CallPaul on campus at ext. _-386,9 886gg‘il- or --___ reqidence , ‘J 3 _’ -* , I ‘?i. ),* ;--__i _, .s 2-c . -. I_-.._. ., ,’ - i. 1’

,-puzzle

Friday,

Crossword Punctuation: in most cases, the compiler is at liberty to add in (or omit) what he likes. However: the question mark can be used as the indicator of an anagram (11 down) or as a warning that a part of the clue might be a little contrived (6 down). The ,exclamation point sometimes indicates a “read-it-again” clue. Read it once for the definition part and once for the, cryptic part (11 down, again). Everything else should be old hat. by Fraser Simpson Amiss 1, 15. Fantastic (494,194)

relations

start

this

7. Tap Eastern recording (4) 8. Each with 12 yaks first (5) 10. Escape from broken urn (3) 12. Always the First Lady, right? 14. Wolf left nothing, Bo (4) 15. see 1 across.

way

(4)

16. Mister Vapour is hiding (4) 18. This gem is nothing, friend (4) 20. Vim and vigour, whichever way

you look at it (3) 22. I rent mixed saltpetre (5) 23. Perhaps little Alfred is - is not feeling well (4) 24. Speaks of briefly - in an honourable -=-We way? (8) Down 2. Out east, create a box (5) 3. Utilizer of some elementary resource, initially! (4) 4. Top engagement in that it’s candid (4) 5. It would seem that they list how the money turns over (8) 6. Her love for Prince Charming? (4) 9. Attachment to the computer has to end somewhere (8) 11. Untie? No! (5) 13. Rodent produces new art (3) 14. The French love is a heavenly thing (3) 17. Heard quote from the plot (4) 19. I will go in the game and get a disease (5) 20. Moss, they say, is a boy’s name (4) 21. Physical training without an exhalation (4)

Answers Across:

r’

WePlay ’ the Music YOU want to hear!

Sports Challenge No couercharge

tonight for students!

- - ,UW vs. all challengers Every Wednesday is

Imprint

Introducing Back-pack-traFking. c Rvernoticedhowonewav JJ of travelling is getting .a more and more Popular th&e days? The train, that is. The VIA train. And why do young people love the train? Is it the low fare:- ;? The view from the windows? The room to relax? Is it the spirit of togetherness that peole on a train seem to have? A f; IA train is all of these thinas. So, next time, come travel &thw us. For a day trip, a week.. . or, when you’ve got a Canrailpass, up to a whole month of unlimited train travel. Ask about Canrail ass at your Travel Agent, or Q IA.

THE GRAND

PROMiSES, COME

PROMiSES TRUE

Heritage Place 33 Erb Street West Waterloo, Ontario NZL lS8 886-3501

muggy’s Variety Show Now open Sundays,130 - 10 p.m. dI DON’T MISS IT! ’

-7

27, 1981.

to March 13th’s: 1. Tusk 3. Coffin 7. Nectar 8. Ants 20. Castles 23. Bowlers 26. Home 17. Setter 18. Pirate 19. Trod Z. Tende.r 2. Sect 4. Fender 5. Nose 6. Parable 9. Starter 11. Roomer 1.2. Paired 14. Ship 15. Stir

Down:

March

NINO ROSSI FOR MEN

, Designer Jeans Designer Men’s Wear 10% off with student card

r Haven’t Seen a Brunch till You’ve Seen OiiiSbncK Fe&wing

’

OURBRANDNEW FRESH FRUIT BAR

All For Only $5.45

Ever since the legendary Stirling Moss put Canada on the map of international auto racing by winning the opening race at Mosport twenty years ago this June, a weekend of auto racing has meant a weekend of high speeds and good fun, not just for racing fans but for outdoor enthusiasts as well.. Some 40,000 fans also-started a tradition back in the days of Moss. Thousands arrived early, camping out overnight in anticipation of the big race the following day. In the midst of the campfires and tents that dotted fellowship based on an Mosport’s .700 acres, of drivers and absorption in the competition machines brought together a wide variety of people ‘with a shared interest. Fans at the lb81 running of the Can-Am auto racing series (which opens-with the Can-Am on the June 12, 18 & li weekend) can expect to see a battle of the giants. . And although such giants as three-time Indy 500 winner -Al Unser will head the cast of racing superstars, the real giants in the ten race North American tussle for auto racing supremacy may well bemovie stars Paul Newman and Burt Reynolds. Both are part of the Can-Am, not as drivers, although Newman is-a card carrying racer himself, but as car owners and entrants, the guys who pay the bills in order to see their colours on the tracks of North America. From Mosport’s season-opener in :, June to the last race of the season’ at Riverside, ‘pmCalifornia in October, the world’s best will shoot for the big win and the glamour bestowed on the Can-Am &Ikpion.

Battlti of the ,($$$) giants

Ne’wman is no dilettante behind the wheel of a car. _ When things are serious, so is he, as his second place finish in the-24 Hours of Le Mansproves. As a car owner, however his record has had its up,s ‘and downs. For years he’s tried to win the Can-Am title with veteran American racer Elliot Forbes. Robinson, the “Flying Finn” Keke Rosberg, and England’s Stephen South.. . Together in four years, the three have delivered Newman a small share of race victories plus thousands of dollars worth of junked racing , equipment. These drivers started with the very best gear but ‘racing luck can send even the best into a frightening . crash, and with Newman’s racers it seemed as if this luck frequently did. For South, the ultimate penalty* for racing’s badluck was the loss of his left foot after s ? major accident last season. ’

McRae, an ace with seven international racing titles to his credit and a reputation as a one m.an band (like his countryman Bruce McLaren) who designes and after _ builds his own cars and takes them to victory victory. McRae has drafted a new car called the GM-9 which Reynolds and Needham will back, no doubt, to the tune of many thousands of dollars. When time permits, a second car will be assembled for Stan ’ Two generations of Spyders (in 1978 and 1979) .Barrett who rocketed across the Nevada desert to were both beaten to the Can-Am title by the Carl become the first man to break the speed of sound\ on Haas factory Lolas, so for 1980, New.man returne.d to the gro,und - 739.666 mph. the Lolacampandbought standardproductionLolas. In the world of 550 horsepower 200 mile an hour When they weren’t as fast as the Haas cars, Can-Am racing, Newman and Reynolds think they Newman’s team-again tried to modify some speed have each chosen the best combination. Whether into them but couldn’t prevent. Haas from winning _ ’ they are right won’t be seen until the season opens at his fourth Can-Am title in a row. Mosport and no true racing buff will want to miss the This year, Newman hopes he has an ace. He has excitement. struck up an acquaintance with the British March This year the big race weekend at Mosport has a factory and hagarranged to run an unique new March new dimension for college and university students. setup for Al Unser and up and coming Italian driver Not onlyisitachancetogettogetherwithfriendsand . Teo Fabi. have a good time at the races, but it has the added incentive of a special student discount priced ticket Their car is based on the new Formula 1 .March and an intercollegiate volleyball tournament (spondesign and -Newman, Unser and Fabi have. high . sored by Molson’s brewery) that promises to be as hopes. serious or as laid back ,as the participants choose. While Newman’s racers have turned many a The Molson Volleyball Challenge will take place in beautiful machine to ruins in spite of themselves, the M&port infield, Saturday morning and afternon Reynolds’ extensive list of successful films include of the Can-Am Atlantic weekend. major motor mayhem elevated to an art form. After the races there’s plenty of time to-talk about However, this ye-ar Reynolds has teamed up with and volleyball and to speculate stuntman and film producer Hal Needham to run cars’ _ the d,ay’s racing about the events to come, especially the Can-Am on in several racing ventures including the Can-Am Sunday June 14th: The pair: are backing New Zealander Graham I I \

Newman’s approach to machinery has gone from the orthodox to the unorthodox and back again to the orthodox. He started in the Can-Am four years ago with a “store bought” racer from England’s famous Lola factory. But unable to beat the factory.-baked .Lola of US Lola importer Carl Hags in 1977, Newman $ame back in 1978 with--a highly modified Lola renamed the Spyder.

4500 hostels in 53 coutitries- averaging,Hz+L maA -about $5. per night! A ”

l!!l Universitb

de Pl/lontri,aL -

French Summ er School 1981 Program

Hostelling means getting your MONEY’S WORTH on overnight accommodation. That’s because we’re bigger than, any hotel chain, AND WE’RE A NON-PROFIT ORGANIZATION. Our $15 membership will get you into hostels’in castles, chalets, and friendly ’ homes around the clobe.

Learn French w’here French is at home

Blue Mtn. Hostel

What’s

more,

Hostelling

Session

A s

9 weeks . 9 credits

Session

3 weeks 3 credits

* Session

6 weeks 6 credits

Session

3 weeks -3 credits

For information

May 4 . (All day), .

’

kle francaise d’&e Universitk de Montreal 3333, chemin Reine-Marie Montreal, Quebec . ti3C 3J7 Tc.51.: (514)

343-6975

May 4 - May (Mornings & two week-ends l

’

*%-Iv q

Juqe 1 -June 19 (AlI day) _ July 6 - August 14 (All day)

Pierre Niedlispacher Directeur

Juty 3

Bursary (Session

22 only)

’ ’

programme: C @Ii/)

L’lkole francaise d’&6 de L’Univ\ersit6 de hilrbntrkal has been selected as a participating institution-in the Federal Provincial Bursary Programme for Canadirin students who wish to learn French as a second language. Canadian students interested in having financial aid can ,apply to

where you’ve been. It’s 2 experience the world. : For more ‘&formation call the ---- hostel office , at----&6)‘368-184 orcheck with your student union \

Canadian HQstelling ’ Association (Great lakes) 8 York St., Toronta ‘.

-i!!l!t

“go

for it!”

- Inttiamrural

Scrap. Book

Friday,

Photos

by Barry

March

Tripp

27, 1981.

Corners

Imprint

by Mike

23â&#x20AC;&#x2122;

Ferabee

Imprint

Camipus Events,~) -Friday,

April

U of W Ski Club presents fun and skiing at Blue Mountain and Georgian Peaks. $14.00 Members; $17.00 Non-Members. You had to sign up by 4:30 pm Wednesday for this trip. Legal Resource Offiie noon. 12:30 pm-4:30 pm.

hours-10

am-12

Used Book Sale sponsored by J-W Canadian Federation of University’ Women, 12 noon-10 pm. Includes Auct ion 6 pm7 pm. Hilliard Hall, 1st United Church, King & William, Peers Counselling-a student to student, listening, referral and information service. So come in, relax, have a cup of coffee and set your soul free. 11 am-3 pm, CC 138.

Discussion Fellowship with Chaplain Rem Kooistra, HH 280. Supper 6 pm, T-8:30 pm. Ethical Issues for the Eighties.

The Birth Control Centre is open and we offer information on birth control, unplanned Gregnancy, counselling and a resource library. The Centre is open Monday-Thursday, 12-4 pm. CC 206, Ext. 2306. Legal Resource

Office-10

am-2 pm.

Bombshelter is open 12 noon-l am. D.J. after 9 pm. Sandwich Bar new hours: 12 noon6 pm. Feds no cover, Others $1 after 9 pm.

Bombshelter is open 12 noon-l am. Sandwich Bar hours are 12 noon-6 pm. D.J. after 9 pm. Feds no cover, Others $1 after 9 pm.

Eckankar Introductory Talk. “Be good to yourself spiritually”. Everyone welcome. 7:30 pm. CC 135.

Friday Prayer (Salatul-Jummaa). 1:30-2:30 pm. CC 135. Arranged by Muslim Students’ Association.

Supermarket

International Vegetarian Cuisine, exotic recipes, live demonstrations, group participation. Come hungry. Limited to 15 students. Sponsored by the Vegetarian Club. For further info call 888-7321. 6 pm. Agora Tea House. A time for herbal teas, homebaked munchies and good conversation. All are welcome. Sponsored by Waterloo Christian Fellowship. 8-12 pm. CC 110.

-Saturday,

April

Used Book Sale sponsored by K-W Canadian Federation of University Women. 9 am-noon. Includes Children’s Hour at 9 pm. Hilliard Hall, 1st United Church, King & William, Waterloo. Bombshelter opens 7 pm. D.J. after 9 pm. Feds no cover, Others $1 after 9 pm. Percy Pulsar-Space Accountant. Radio drama series on CKMS Episode no.4-Percy falls afoul of that long distance feeling. 10 pm. CKSM--FM 94.5.

-Sunday,

April

Graduation Recital. Susan HamiltonMezzo Soprano and Diane Currie-Clarinetist. Everyone welcome. 1:15 pm. Conrad Grebel Chapel. Ecumenical Reformed Worship for entire University community. HH 280, lo:30 am. Refreshments available<

-Monday,

April

Have you ever wondered what actually happens to your food before it gets on the shelf? Take a Supermarket Tour to find out. Tours *are available daily. Contact Dianne, 886-7622, or WPIRG, 884-9020.

April

Tours-see

Peers

Counselling-see

Bombshelter-see Birth

am-

Monday.

Control

Centre-see

Conrad Grebel Evening Prayer.

Monday.

College Chapel 4:45-5:15 pm.

Services.

The Vegetarian Club invites you to attend 5th of a 7-week series of cooking workshops. Experience satisfying vegetarian cooking by nose, tongue and tummy. Tasty curriculum, live demonstrations. Everyone is welcome. Admission is free. 6 pm. .Psych Lounge, 3rd floor. “Brotherhood is giving to others the rights and respect we want for ourselves”. Brotherhobd dinner sponsored by the Canadian Council of Christians and Jews, K-W Chapter. Tickets available c/o K-W Multicultural Centre, 22 Charles Street West, Kitchener N2G lH2 are $lO/persbn. 6:30 pm. Bingeman Park Lodge, Kitchener. Dr. Lendon Smith-Pediatrician and author of “Improving Your Child’s Behaviour Chem- ’ istry” and “Feed Your Kids Right” will speak. Tickets $5 in advance at Natural Food Market, Bridgeport Road, and Coles Bookstores, and on campus at the box office. 8:15 pm, Humanities Theatre. ’

-Wednesday, Supermarket

April

Tour-see

Monday.

Legal Resource Office Hours: pm, 3:30-5:30 pm, 7-9 pm. Peers Counselling-see Birth

Control

Bombshelter-see

S-

10 am-l:30

Monday.

Cen$re-see Monday.

Monday.

April

Tour-see

Legal Resource pm.

Office

Peers

Counselling-see

Birth

Control

Monday. Hours-10

am-l:30

Monday.

Centre-see

Bombshelter--‘see

Monday.

Music at noon will feature Alumni Recital Series Che Anne Loewen, piano. Concert will be held in the WLU Theatre Auditorium at 12 noon. Admission is free and everyone is welcome. Conrad Evening

Monday.

Legal Resource Office Hours-10 12:30 pm, 1:30 pm-3:30 pm.

-Thursday, \ Supermarket

Peers Counselling-a student to student, listening, referral and information service. So come in, relax, have a cup of coffee and set your soul free. 11 am-3 pm. CC 138.

-Tuesday,

Gay Liberatio)l of Waterloo is sponsoring a coffeehouse with music, coffee and a chance to meet new friends. For more info call 884GLOW. 8:30-l 1:30 pm. CC 110.

Grebel prayer.

College Chapel 4:45-5:15 pm.

services.

WLU will present five films on astronomy and associated subjects at 7 pm in the Arts Bldg, Room 1El. This series is sponsored by the WLU physics department with host Prof. Raymond Koenig, a WLU astronomer. Tonight’s films, many produced by NASA, are Three Degrees, Universe, Powers of 10, and two silent movies, Colour TV Film of the Auroras and The Sun Ip Action. Admission free. Solar Energy Society general meeting. Guest speaker Allen Schulh. Topic: Heat Pumps. All welcome. 7:30 pm. Adult Recreation Centre, King & Allen, Waterloo. Percy Pulsar-Space Accountant. Radio drama series on CKMS. Episode no.5. Percy plays ping pong to preserve posterity. 10 pm. CKMS-FM 94.5.

-Friday, Supermarket

April Tours-see

Legal Resource 12:30-4:30 pm.

Office

Hours:

Peers Counselling-see Bombshelter-see Friday

lo-12 noon,

Monday.

Prayer-see

International last Friday.

l@---

Monday.

last Friday.

Vegetarian

Cuisine-see

Evening Concert will feature Ein Deutsches Requiem, Op. 45’by Brahms, WLU Choir, Victor Martens, conductor and WLU Orchestra, Michael Purves-Smith, director. Concert will be held at the Centre in the Square. 8 pm. Admission reserved $6/$5/$4, S/S Rush $3/$2.50. Agora

Tea House-see

last Friday.

Friday,

April 3, 1981, Volume

3, Number

34 University

of Waterloo,

Waterloo,

Ontario

‘Spring airs leave high page 17

60 pages of smut and pornography Page

t _ _._._ Friday,

April

3, 1981

Imprint

2 .

.Mac Students w Re-occupy I Admin Offices

HAMILTON (CUP) - One hundred protesting McMaster sociology students pushed their way past security guards and occupied the offices of the academic vice-president March 24. The students are trying to regain representation on the sodiology planning department’s committee, guaranteed them in the department’s constitution but recently withdrawn. Only a week before the latest protest, 11 other students had occupied the _ sixth floor of the university’s -arts building but were forced out when over twenty police officers smashed the barricades and threatened everyone I with arrest. The administration’s move to call in the police was condemned by all sectors of the university. Nine sociology professors said they deplored “the use of physical, force to suppress student requests for voting rights on the department committee.” Even the usually conservative engineering students have added their voice- of support to the protesting students. “Thirty cops to throw out 11 sociology students seems a bit rude to me. We were forced to sit up and take notice,” said Steve Boweditor of the enyer, gineering students’ newspaper in an interview with the Globe and Mail. Students have vdwed to continue the occupation “indefinitely” until they receive an “acceptable response” from the majority of the sociology faculty on the matter of student representation.

Poverty and destitution no fun WINNIPEG (CUP) -Claiming poverty and destitution, a group of Manitoba students gathered in front of a downtown Winnipeg department store March 26, to show their dissatisfaction .with the student aid program by begging money from passers-by. Demonstration organizer Debbie Jansen, a student at the University of Winnipeg, said the demonstration is an attempt to publicize what she describes as the “second-class status of students relying on student aid.” who is on Jansen, student aid, said the student aid: program in Manitoba did not provide students with enough money to live on, and added insult to injury by conducting “spot audits to discover how anyone could possibly live on what little money they are given.”

Campus Recreation: A new direction The Intramural Department, for the past two months, has been in the ,midst of a search for a new design and name change. -The terni “Intramural” originally meant an internal program of competitive physical activities, but the department wanted a change to better reflect their present program and future endeavours. The logo contest was an effort to

Protest rally last week in front of the administration students participated in the rally to protest the Iack department and students.

building of action

(Gilmdur Hall) at McMaster. Three hundred over mediation steps between the Sociology photo by Lorna Fast of the Silhouette.

pumping in clean air. Dare obtain a new term and logo stands for. . . well do I what I thought was a have to say anything more. said the cloth turned black danger to my health.” design from a student at UW, and was held from not long after. February 2nd until March Professors in the department interviewed said the 2nd. Judging by the number of fumes induce nausea, difentrv submissions ficulty in breathing, con&t was - successful; wheezing, and even faintPromoting a “spirit of forty design and nine ing spells. justice, friendship and coslogan/name change subWINNIPEG (CUP) -Staff and Don Craw, safety officer operation among citizens missions illustrated the students in the art school for the university, said of different races, religions amount of enthusiasm and at the University of there was a problem in and nationalities”, is the spirit the students and Manitoba are slowly being some areas of the art purpose behind the annual faculty of the University _ poisoned due to fiscal building. Btit he said that Brotherhood Dinner, sponhave. restraints, a professor in there would always be a sored by the Canadian “Campus Recreation”, the school charges. Procertain amount of pol-’ Council of Christians and submitted by Pullan Hanlution in the art building L Jews, fessor E.D. Dore said that to be held at son and Paul Heaslip, was air. “If you don’t realize faulty ventilation of Bingeman Park Lodge on selected by the Intramural poisonous fumes and dust that, then perhaps you Tuesday, April 7th. council executives as the don’t belong in that in the building has not Speaker for the event new term to reflect the department,” he said. been repaired because include Reverend Pat Intramural offerings. “they don’t want to spend Craw also said repair of Smyth, a member of the The design was subthe building’s ventilation Spiritan Fathers, who has mitted by, Paul Whelan, a money.” system occured a few Dore also said that the had many years experience first year architect. It improper ventilation sysyears ago, and because of in the Third World as a incorporates the indivifiscal restraint “a lot of missionary priest, pardual participant as well as tem poses “an unmitigated things that should have health hazard.‘, ticularly in Africa; Alan group participation. been done were not.” Instea$ of being vented 7 1 Rose from Montreal,/ the According to Sharlene into the outside When the university’s - widely-travelled air, ExecuMurray of the Intramural, maintenance operations and mainpersonnel tive Director of the Department, the “outsai$, most of the fumes tenance department was Canadian Jewish Constretched arms represent from chemicals used in informed of the problem, gress; and Dr Bob Rumball, the participants who are photography, the school was told money director of .the Ontario always striving to meet . -print-making, for repairs would have to and silkscreening, and Community Centre and his/her recreational needs” dust from ceramics, are come out of the school’s Executive Director of the and who are having a satisown. budget. This is why vented into the internal air mission for the deaf, fying experience. “The the repairs have not been circulation system. Dore United Church of Canada. Waterloo “W” is also incorsaid the vents that are done, Dore said. The funds The Good Servant porated into the design,” should come from the unis- Medal, supposed to remove the the prestigious she notes. versity’s operating budget award of the Canadian This new design will be fumes have become completelly clogged. instead, he added. CounciI of Christians and used as the new symbol for Professor Marylin Baker He ‘said that as an Jews, will be presented by Intramurals. It will be experiment he had placed a said she moved her office Dr Victor Goldbloom, found on letterheads, tcloth over the inlet which from the building two -National President of the shirts, buttons etc. so if was years ago “as a result of Council, supposed to be to a local citizen, anyone asks you what this

Budget r’estraints the affect health of art students

Ecumenical Brotherhood Dinner

mews

Friday,

-Laurief

INFACT

may

be a danger

to unwatched

children, says student Photo by Peter Saracino

Arts library “a’ danger?” Cathy Powers, -a partthe banister and fell. It was a time student at UW, gibes a drop of about ten to twelve first-person account of her feet - onto concrete. It took experience with the potenabout two seconds to happen. tial dangers of the Arts Because mothers need to Ii brary. have a certain amount of Dana Porter Library is medical knowledge just to be an impressive building by I mothers, it was evident to me anybody’s standards. Lookthat something was very ing at it, it is hard to imagine wrong just by observing that it could prove to be, just Nathan’s behavior. He was by its design, a potential drowsy and lethargic. He did health hazard. However, not want to speak, and did not two weeks ago, it was. react to any stimulations. It My son Nathan will be was confirmed, about a half two years old in June. an hour later at K-W Hospital Typically for his age, he is that Nathan had a concussion. what is commonly known By this time he was as a “going concern”. On vomitting and only wanted to March 14, Nathan, our sleep in a fetal position. Xdaughter, Shauna, my husrays were to follow along band, Frank and myself along with blood and urine tests, He with some friends from was admitted soon after to the Toronto were touring the Intensive care unit under the campus. We thought the observation of a neurologist. library would be a good place We left the hospital at six to start. thirty. It had been three hours However, while we were since the fall. We all feared the &tside admiring the Gchitec-. brain damage. worst ture Nathan crawled under However, later that night

Fiat hx! There will be more light in Waterloo Park, according to Federation President Wim Simonis. response to an In increase of violence in the park, Simonis has developed a proposal to light the pathway from the footbridge at Waterloo Arena to Seagram Drive, and copies have been submitted to City Alderman and the Budget Review Committee. The Budget Review Committee passed the proposal, budgeting $15,000 to install the lighting. At a Council meeting last Monday, Waterloo City Council also approved the plan. Simonis sent Countiil two plans for lighting the pathway. The first suggested a string of lights along the entire path. The second, and more economically feasible, suggested using present power sources to extend the coverage of existing lights. As it stands now, there is one light at each end of the footbridge and one at the barn between the main The animal enclosures. proposal suggests doubling

3, 1981

Imprint

holds debate-

slams Nestle

“Nestle dsesn’t go in and kil! babies” -David Carnegie, Nestle Representative The boycott of Nestle products is one of the best-known recent consumer actions. The controversy surrounds allegations that the Swiss-based multinational is marketing infant formula in Third world countries in an unethical manner and also Contrary to agreements with international health officials. Cheif among the boycott organizers is a group called INFACT. Last Monday night at WiIfrid Laurier University INFACTand Nestle representatives squared off in a debate organized by five Sociology students. Arts library architecture Cathy Powers

April

the lights at the bridge to increase their range. A line would connect these to a light at the corner of the animal enclosures. The barn light would be doubled and moved closer to the path. The final part of the path would be lit by a string of lights already considered for the road through the park, the parking lot lights, and the lights on Seagram Drive. In a subsequent interSimonis stated view, Wednesday that council had confirmed a lighting plan with him by telephone. Council had advised him, he said, that the placement of lights will largely conform to his second proposal with. the exception of the ‘double lights, since the type :o be installed are at least as powerful as two of those now in use. Simonis stated that he already has confirmation that the City will look into lighting the path from Seagram Drive to Westmount next year. (See maps with article.) Cathy McBride

when I phoned the hospital, the nurse said that he had begun to react again. He was drinking apple juice from a bottle. Not much, but it was a beginning. After two very lonely days in hospital, Nathan came home. He was back to his cheerful, curious self again, and although the physical danger is over, however, there are many fears remaining. I never go into the Dana Porter without looking Library down into the moat. An interesting design, yes, but the scene of a near tragedy for our family. Will some other family not be so fortunate? The question remains along with the fact that the library is a potential, danger. Cathy Powers .

David Hallman of INFACT, starting off the debate, stated that crucial to the success of Nestle marketing in developing countries is the idea put across in advertising, that using formula is “the modern way to feed your infant.” He added that there is “the great appeal of the Western lifestyle. Added to the desire to do the best by their infant, the formula sells.” Hallman said the water used to make the formula is contaminated, and there are inadequate storage and refrigeration facilities. As well, he said, people can’t usually afford enough formula, so they dilute it; due to this dilution it no longer provides enough nourishment. “In safe situations it (infant formula) is nearly OK; under unsafe conditions it amount s to a death sentence”, he maintained. said that Nestle had Hallman repeatedly violated agreements to promote breast feeding over formula feeding, and that a boycott of Nestle products was the only way to force the company to act responsibly. Nestle representative David Carnegie responded, stating that reports of violations of agreements not to advertise the formula are inaccurate and the few times when accusations of wrong

advertising have been correct, the situation was’ rectified at once. Carnegie said that Nestle continues to receive requests from “I’hird World governments to manufacture and market infant formula in those countries. He said that individual operators. in national operations have considerable autonomy from the parent company and sometimes violate international guidelines in advertising which are stopped as soon as the parent company is aware of the problem. emphasized that Nestle Carnegie always says on the product that breast milk is best for infants but that the formula is intended for the small number of cases where breast feeding is impossible. Following these two speeches, most of the questions from the audience were directed to the Nestle representative. Carnegie defended his company’s marketing policies by saying that most Nestle sales of formula iti the Third World are in built-up areas, “where living conditions are much like those in the West” and where the water is fairly pure. He also said that the people using infant formula are “better educated” and know how to use it correctly. When asked about the cost of the formula to the average user, Carnegie said it was difficult to say as it depended on so many factors, but “among those using it it’s affordable.” The audience of 130 however, appeared vocally critical of his statements, and voiced support for questioners who attacked his statements. A slightly supportive note was added by the INFACT representative who said that even if Nestle stopped all promotion immediately, the rate of consumption of infant formula would still increase for a long time because of the long-lasting effect of advertising and its residual effect. The debate ended after two hours with no resolution being reached. Carl Friesen

WCP: tighter plumbing A “retrofit” service, designed to save water in up to 4,500 homes in the Freeport area, is being offered by a University of Waterloo based group known as the Waterloo Conservation Program (WCP). The program has be& organized by Prof. James Robinson of UW’s department of man-environment studies, and is funded by $135,000 from federal government and Waterloo regional g_overnment grants. A variety of water conserving devices are involved in the retrofit service. For toilets, these will include the Aquasaver, a commercially available device, and the water displacement bottle. The program will also install plastic devices into shQwer heads permitting people to shower effectively using much less water. The devices will be installed free of charge, for Freeport area residents, by Conservation Waterloo Program Staff members. The installers will be trained so that as an added benefit to householders they ,will recognize and diagnose problems with

toilet or shower fixtures. AcTording to WCP, installation of these devices in the Freeport homes could result in up to 15 per cent savings per year in residential water use. This could mean monthly savings of up to 25 per cent on water bills, and up to 12 per cent on water heating bills, or more than fifteen dollars per year. In addition, it will considerably reduce the load on the municipal sewage system and its pumping facilities. There is cost to the home:kner for this retrofit service, and participation is voluntary. Kitchener’s mayor Morley Rosenberg, and Alderwoman Judy Balmer are encouraging participation in the free program since, as Mayor Rosenberg says: “We’re all for preserving water, avoiding the cost of a dam or pipeline, and decreasing both water and water heating bills at the same time.” A related project of the WCP will see water saving devices installed at cost in all rental and condominium units in Cambridge Kitchener and Waterloo: Program staff members estimate the owner of an apartment building could’ recover the cost of

equipping every little as two months. I

unit in as or three

Because the water used in the Region, from groundwater wells, is a limited resource, WCP’s broad objective is to reduce the consumption of water throughout the entire Regional Municipality of Waterloo. As the population has, grown demands have increased and the adequacy of the water supply has begun to be a matter of concern . .. there is only so much in the ground to take out. If the Region r.equires substantial additional supplies of water the alternatives are very costly. They would include: (1) building a dam . . . possibly at West Montrose to create a very large reservoir, or (2) running a pipeline from Lake Erie or Lake Huron. On the other hand, if water consumption can be cut, these expensive projects could be postponed for quite a few years. Conservation by homeowners, coupled with recent declines in population growth rates, will result in substantial monetary savings for both the homeowner and the Re-

Municipality of gional Waterloo. If the free retrofit service in Freeport and the rental unit and condolminium retrofitting are successful, additional funding may be available to extend the program to other parts of the Region and across Canada. Ben Benninger, WCP staff member, is involved in a number of other programs designed to foster water conservation. These include: encouraging builders to install water saving fixtures on all new homes (through a $75 Regional rebate arrangement); improving leak detection in municipal water systems; adjusting rate structures that foster conservation and distributing a newsletter on conservation with monthly water bills. The WCP wants to encourage people to save water in all kinds of ways: making bath fixtures more efficient by installing conservation devices; informing the public about conservation habits; implementing programs to provide incentives to conserve water . . . all are important in ensuring the community’s water supply for the future. It will also save money.

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:“ ~$ili is thEi &nt newspap& a$ t@ uaiveraity of&&& A1&i is an auw -tindent nerwspaper pu&ha ljsJ ;,.imp-t ~Pu~li&tioti W@rlOo, a corporation ,tiout share. : CgmJa, uni versity of Watqrloo, Waterloo, Ontario. Phone 66& l86Q or extension 2331 or ‘2332. Itiprint is a member of the ‘I O&&@&n U&ersi%y Pr8%;(CUP), a stud& press organization* ,’ df 63 papers aCross. m. ‘Imprint is a@o & membe+ of the : Ontarib Weekly Newspaper &so&a&ion (OWNA). Imprint -publisheseveryFridayduring~eterm.M~shouldbe~ssed to “Imprint, Campti Centre Room 140.” We are typeset on campu&with a Cbmp/Set 510, paste-up is likewise done on &pus. Imprint: ISSN 0706-7360. /

I .

News Editors gports Editop. ArtsEditors Photography Prose GpPoetry

_. round of &pplausefor Mngniaster (keeper of the x!ing), JohrMdBast, clap&@olapolap..X,eter Sarao& and hlk~Pe@ss m Flea Circus, Virginia Butler, Tammy Home, and Julie Lynn -Joyce,. ’ klapklapklap..,(Ira, you sonofag’uc&wpere q you???) ...andthe world renouned nife thrower, John McMullen, and lils target, Glenn St. Germain (from the pl&t Qu&l~de)~ cli~clipclQclip...the tooti@ome Mike Ferrabfte and‘hls Xk&&Aan Revu6~-kncMing Pat Sh.@q and - Carl Frie@q clopclopclopclop...an$ qf course, that recently &solved -- brown bag band, Stuey, Laurie, and The News, wit@ their backups, Cathy Powers and Cathy McBride, as well as their frontdowns, Angela -Brandon, Tony Watirman, and Charles Tysoe, clupclupclupclup..! spmialthanks to our RdYBcome@ troupe, Booker Tee and Danner ,Ayad and Daver Berman gd Paul Zemokhol and C+rol Rudy, . (deduhduB d@hd+dudumb) &nipcanapeknipcanap6knipcanape... rend we couldn’t d.6it without our stereoQpesetter6, Nan C.,J. D., and Karen, taptaptaptap...and we featured sn extraapecial appearance by ,$nya Lehn and her f&nous c@umn of backward-walking bun&es, entitled “Fortrait of a Receding Ha&Une,“. flapflapflapflap...Guests of Fe Imprint sleep on the couch in t+e Grand Imperial Bird Lounge andare servedLeeM~cM~~mseriTerymornOur~sthostsfor the comb@ year’s show will w Pietro Sarac?hino, ScOtt’Murra$;JW BE&, sylvia, and.me, Mr. DOSS-Up. Tim Perlich

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2nd Cla& Postage Registration Pen’ Imprint reserves the right to screen, edit, and&use advertising.

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benefitting from the educar tion of in&viduals should

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ap_plaCse for Bette

. The Editor: : . In;- regards to the article “Tuition: student exonerates _ :‘Bette’, which appeared in the cM@rch 27 issue of Imprint, I .:,wish td express my support 1 ‘3% the stand taken by Jim Le’ask. By comparing vari‘usables relevant to the sittiation, Mr. Leask has ‘. &it forward a view that iS ’ n$t’ easily refuted. Although ( his findings relate to Fagineering students in I : particular, I feel his claiin &tit .“it is easier for a+%tudent to con& to university today &m it was in the past” still ‘merits &ention. ‘-1 would like only to f&ther this point in order to keep. the &ue.of increased. t&ion

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pay for the educational our technological revolution system. She points to the -either. Today’s man is too engineering and computer inse’cure to trust his science faculties as not neighbour let alone a billion other people. Witness today’s providing an education but a “training. for these arms race; (no one wants it industries”. but it’s there), Ms. Thompagainst If these industries, or son’s own out-crys large multinat~ional corpor- any industry for that ations (which might -some matter, were to be the sole supporters of education I day form a world gbvernment), and the lock on your think it safe to say that door. * We must m&e humanity and fine art studies would be deleted forward. W-e have no . . 1 . . along with many other cno1ce. “non&productive” courses. , It is the humanities and the arts which should study .Or alternatively, full where we’ve beeri, where payment would be demanded we are, and most imdortant, ‘ from those indulging? in these 1 where we’re going. studies. Industry will only support those courses which It is the participation in. are “productive”. #. . The arts , the1.1 arts --.-and humanities Pi ,wnicn se?e no use*ul purpose consciencecreares a sense or+ morals ’ and I viewed from an industrial . right an;l wrong. An vantye* individual who undertakes ERsulehii ad computer these studies has nothing to zTers wgsld be expanded, offer society except his . Thompson’s system of &nd.i&, both ;in infortied views and o@&& and a self+nowledge that curriculum and in quality hopef&ly these courses since they are useful and invoke. . mU$ net&d b today’s In today’s society, of society*

foltowing letter was written by-a student td his father% the thirteenth ceI’lfury: I . T&s ‘is to inform you tha$ I am studying’ at ” Oxford with the greatest : diligence but the matter of 1 ~~engineer~gstudent ;‘rk;:qney stands greatly in and resent my education the way of my promotion, ,b&g called a “training” for -‘-as it is now two months ‘since 1 spent ’ the last of the big coypomtions; which somehow is meant to conjure what you sent ee. The city. up a picture. of something bad. is, expensive and makes My; education will benefit many demands; I have.to society,-: not just my km,? lodgings, buy necessities employers. Most likely my srid provide for many other empfoyers will be owned by ’ things (A fuller explanation hefe would have been &Ock holders* Stock ho1ders i&mina ting] . Wherefore I are those peole who risk a bit of their personal we&h in retipectfully beg your paterorder to increase their wealth. ‘$y that by the promptings They increase the& wealth by $:ditiine pity you may assist providing a service to other bie; so that I can complete members of society. (%/hich *who? I have well beg&. society?,, may be . asked. ?&e situation is a Glob+?) Therefore any --f&liar one, the major employee of such a firm ex,ception,today being that provides a service to society. . itudents receive some But stock holders come from assistance from the-govern+ociety and following through hn@nt to help their money the argument, the means of problems. No one told me it prbduction are owned by ,v@$, easy to get through society. Has ’ capitalism ti.&$r$ity; but ‘by putting turned to socialism? 4$&&~effort. into it, gding to Anyway, back to the topic. $$$&$ isn’t h&rder than it An engineering job exists only q.~~in the past. In view of when it is fulfilltig sotie ,this, _,I .feel that I students physical need. If $.l one’s should count their blessings physical needs are satisfied , r&her than isolate tuition’: then there is no need for an ,increases wifhodt taking engineer. m’ore consideration‘ of other 1 My education will result in ,factors. physical products .which, if :. ’ . Doug Alder_man ’. I’m’ succe&ful, will provide a L Economics Co-oy .service tD society. In this way I further man’s quest for .’ Future’of whatever it is he is looking for. I provide the -tools. :‘_ technology Perhaps technology ha<.gdne ‘--’ . in questioti * too fw new forms of life via gene splicing, H-bomb& %he Editor: ~ ’ GGcti&ity,‘. plenty of food, In ‘the article ‘;&&’ Hike med&al tpatmept which. Sfrike born again” appear: .prolongs life and iq some ing in‘the March 27th issue *‘weaker” perof Itiprint Ms., Tho@pso& q’ . &$+a-:allows and ,suggests’. . ths_ large ;.U l :.-sons :to live, prosper titilfiply. Who knows? Not ‘cei‘porations, IBM, n&eari -power ’ indust rie;s, * * & ‘( ’ y&i.: not I. . _ \: I

One thim is certain. We can’t go back./We can’t stop

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arid,death, perhaps it is these _ . skills which a~ more 3mportant than the skills of technological ad\iancement . Under Ms. Thompson’s suggestion the chance tp take part& a formal, unbiased (?) oneself and , studs’ of mankind would disappear. Surely -this not what wanis It,s notis what I wantshe

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who did so m&h more than find ads for us? T&is has been Imprint’s second yearas the UW student newspaper; af.ter a somewhat ’ (D.ammit, that pumpkin should have turne.d out, but the‘protest cover made up for it), and long and painful adolescence, we’ve seen the Jacob Arseneault {who maintained the first glimmerings of maturity; appearance of the paper and did far more The list of contributors is long: all have troubleshooting than I’m sure an,y of us helped to create a dependable and consistant realize. an_d have been instrumental in paper And fans? Groupies? Mentors? Who could we!& in ing a growing number bf har‘dh&e wtirked harder than the Imprint ghost working, creative staff. Anna Lehn and Dan.Ayad h”ave worked ,and former ORCUP pres. Ira Nayman, or odder, mofe productive hours than founding endless hours’ on the arts section, : giving father -and production-manager-to-be John encouragement .to several fine classical W Bast? w,e owe them a lot for Volume III, reviewers [a ne&achieirment for the paper) and seekipg to expand-the goodwork in rock / and expect more great things ahead in V IV. and entertainment started in the summer by Graphicists Tim Perlich, and Curtis, kept us smiling, Fraser Simpson kept us puzzled Celi& and the ever,astute M Drew Cook. and Misprint Editor Mike Ferrabee,-and. 60 Laurie Duc&tte and-&u Dollar gave much of their time’ and talent [they were so .. . Pages publisher John McMullen coaxed US to ch&tle when we werB at our grumpiest. organized 1 to ensure that & &uch of thecampus new as possible found its way ‘onto’ Milestones? The first Imprint General our pgges. They ,also began what: I hope tvill Meeting marked out initial year as a be a growing part of -the IFprint-’ news cqr$oration. Our new paper tape machine, installed in the summer, helped speed up the department by. encouraging iirvestigative I -production journalism. ’ of the paper, and Imprint Typesetting is firmly establishsd. Thitigs Paul Zemokhol, with ample support from I Tamtiy Home, D,aye BeTman and Virgjnia * look good for the future. . And staff democracy is alive and well at Butler, did many all-n’&ht burn-outs r for the \ Imprint. We may ‘not have always agreed on sports, section. j ‘:T:’ everythitig this year, “but staff input in the With help from Animal,. Pet‘er Saradino (who will I’m sur,e, as next-year’s editor,lead form of debate,.suggestions, advice and hard the paper on to bigger and better thin&i has work have, I believe, ,helped expand_the overseen some pretty flashy photographers, outlook and creativity of/the paper. s I hope we h:d fun top, and kept the front pages coming, Sometimes again&t incredable odds. To all of the regular staff, occasional Sylvia, of course, has betin Mum to’us all; contributors, letter writers, a$d. studentwe’d never find things without her expert readers who have made this year dizzying memory, or like things si, much without her anderijoyabie, I say thank you, andgo?d luck ‘_’ . in the year to come. . cheery smile. And what can one say about Liz Wood, Marg Sandeison .

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I ofien ask myself, and yo; may ask Fe, “Why am I studying engineering when I hold the arts ishigh regard?” ,It is because I hope to be in_a position within industry that will allow me to have some . input concerning the application of technology. Consider the T.V. as an ’ . ’ example. Look at the trash it spews forth to millions. Surely this piece of ’ 1% hove one w( tedhnology can be used in a better wag. What’s better, though? Whose definition?‘ ! Now consider the future; a She $stated that engineerworld of working robots, ing and computer sdience computers and engineers. coop&atitie education was What will people do? primarily for the benefit of Michael Miethig these institutions. 3A Electrical Enginegring My ‘recent workterm . jobs have been with a i, small firm (about 20 Post-secondary people), and ctirtitiny I am education: not the only student employed ‘by similar small who benefits? businesses. I am confident The Editor: that these small industries In response to the article ’ .benefit more from students “Fee Hike Strike born like myself; than do large 1 again” appearing in March Icorporations. 27, 1981 Imprint, I ‘was in addition, do ‘these puzzled .by the narrowlarge industries not pay’ minded thinking of Maggie proportionately larher. sums Thompson, in pa?ticular * of money to the government her stand on funding. of in forms of taxes, etc. than ed%cation by large industdo. smaller companies? And \ ries. ’ does the government not .

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fund i large portion of our education? It is in this gense that the corpor@&s, that Thompson descries, pay at Ieast part of their share. As well, large industries support students many directly through bursar&s, grants and research funding, But such organizations -tie not alone in showing their appreciation for &tide&s who wish to further develop ideas in their related ‘fields, through continuirig education; as tiy employer also partially assits‘ my educat’ional expenses, in the hope that my @creased knowledge through le& fi benefit the company. Although,1 am-fortunate) to have such a concerned.

employer, I feel that my, educational costs, whether paid totally by myself, or not, represent a real bargain as an investment towards my future. Even if I had to pay higher tuition fees (& difficult G they are to suppbrtj, this would no _turn me away1 :;;:alatten !Y ing- an educainstitution ’ that would tetich m’e how to benefit both myself and society: in the future. If money is the only concern for an individual continuidg his or her edtication, ’ that person iis notl3e~efitiing from or educational system and dmdd not be p&t of it =VWaY* Miicb Pidwerbecki 3B Computer Science

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April

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Graduate Club Important Notice

in MaEk gives third Pascal Lecture talk “critique9

On March 2nd and 3rd Dr. Charles Habib Malik addressed audiences of over 200 with a talk entitled “A Christian Critique of the University”, as part of the annual Pascal Lectures on Christianity and the University. The lectures were held at UW for the third time since their inception in October of 1978. An internationally reknowned scholar, Dr. Malik of Lebanon holds three doctoral degrees. He served for three has Chairman sessions as of the U.N. Security and one as Council President of the U.N. General Assembly. Malik stated that his intention was to examine thestate ofthemindandthe spirit of the contemporary university, from a Christian point of view. The question, he told his -listeners, is “What does Jesus Christ Himself think of the Western university,” and proceeded to analyze the state of the sciences in the modern university. According to Malik, virtually every Western university was founded on, and dedicated to Jesus Christ. He cited Freiburg University in Germany and Harvard in the US at both of which he earned doctorates. He said that the motto of Freiburg University is “Die Wahrheit wird euch frei machen,” or “The truth shall make you free,” a statement attributed to Jesus Christ and recorded in the Gospel of John. recent times the In universities have swerved from their original dedication so that now “there is no Christ Himself, but only opinions of Christ remain.” He believes that with this swerving or “progress” away from Christ, there has been a waning of the curiosity which original led- to the formation of universities. Progress, said Malik, is a trend towards “replacing Christ, to satisfy without Him, to crowd Him out of existence.” The Gospel is “revolutionary” and “unbelievable.” Christ “dispeople” by His turbs existence, said Malik.

“...we -tire struck by the power of the human mind”

Analyzing the sciences with respect to these statements, Malik said that there has been a “tragic distortion” due to the success of science. We are “struck by the power of the human mind,” he said. There is an “infatuation with the scientific method” to the extent that many scientists and others “ignore everything to which it does not apply” even though “it has nothing to do with the most

important things . . . the weightier matters of God and life.” This “pride of power and knowledge” has resulted in scientific truth being removed from its correct place in the scheme of things and being made primary. “If Jesus Christ is, as He said He is, ‘the way, the truth, and the life,’ then all truth is within His province,” said Malik. Nevertheless Malik believes that many scientists “radiate atheistic naturalism” and cling to the idea of monism, which holds that the universe is selfcreated and that “life somehow evolved from pre-existent matter.” “The really believing scientist who does not consider as nonsense the fundamental tenets of Christianity, is rare,” he stated.

The scientist...cannot be saved from his failings by science. Because of this, “scientific naturalism is deeply entrenched in the universities, making them disseminators of atheism,” said Malik, who believes this to be particularly significant since universities are the major influence in the cause of western civilization insofar as they produce the leaders for all areas of society. The distorted modernday vision of scientific knowledge is an evil thing, he says, which leads to a “self-forgetting” on the part of the scientist who feels that his life’s work is; more important than his humanity. The scientist shares human traits with all other people and he cannot be saved from his failings by science. This situation is of great concern to Christ, “who hates evil, but loves the scientist,” who has “overcome evil” and will judge the scientist as a person, not “on the accident of his scientific accomplishment,” says Malik. Malik concluded his first address by noting that the claims of Christ to preeminence in the universe and in the lives of men, “challenge man’s selfsufficiency.” Man ought to remember that he is mortal and fallible, and respond accordingly, he said, and finished by reading. a series of passages from the Bible, beginning “0 man, who do you think you are?” The following evening Dr. Malik delivered an equally penetrating analysis of “the spirit of the humanities in the university today,” again from the perspective of his own Biblical Christianity. Malik stated that there is a pre-occupation with making the teachings of Christianity (for example

St. Paul) relevant to the world, and to modern conform to secular expectations, rather than honouring their original intent. “Thev judge lesus and in so doing are judged by Him,” said Malik.

“The cynic dismisses everything and enjoys nothing” He then went on to describe many of the presuppositions which he feels are part of the attitude of the humanities. These include, he said, the worship of man and nature; a skepticism in which there are no absolutes, nothing is certain, everything is hedged and all statements are qualified so that the end result is nothing; cynicism (“the cynic dismisses everything and enjoys nothing”); relativism which holds that nothing is good in itself except that which serves a momentary purpose or situation, and morality is private or situational. The cumulative effect of these and other principles (of which he mentioned 23) is atheism, according to Dr. Malik. In this type of environment there is no

reinforcement from the university for a student or professor who is a Christian. “There is a struggle for survival of faith which is harsh and discouraging, and from which few survive unscathed,” he said, adding that those who do survive are “the spiritual heroes of our time.” Malike stated that “Jesus loves the searching, the straying and the lost and will enter everywhere, including the offices and classrooms of the humanities” . . , Man, he said, must “take the initiative of making some type of response.” Malik cautioned those in the sciences and the humanities who feel that they have the answers, to examine themselves and see if any one of the 24 “misfortunes” which he read from the Book of Romans, had befallen them because of their attitude. The audience was attentive and , responded warmly to Dr. Maiik who made many humorous asides during his talks. There was also an opportunity for the audience to ask questions. Charles

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Series “a forum” The Pascal lectures are organized by a committee of university faculty and staff, chaired by Dr. John North of the English Department. The inaugural lectures entitled .“The End of Christendom, but not of Christ,” were delivered Malcolm by Muggeridge in 1978. The following year Donald MacKay of England spoke on “Science and the Quest for Meaning.” Dr. North, a specialist in Victorian and Childrens’ literature, said. that the lectures grew from monthly meetings of faculty, staff and students several years ago. It seemed appropriate, said North, to provide a forum at the University of Waterloo for consideration of the ways of Christ. The reason for this, he explained, is that many of the West’s greatest intellects such as mathematician Blaise Pascal, Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, T.S. Eliot, and Geoffrey “have defined Chaucer, their existence in relation to Christ.” Further he said, “our leading educators and politicans have often been Christians who established principles of society on the basis of Christ and his ways.. . and it is historical that Western civilization is built upon th.e ways and life of Christ as Creator and Sustainer of the ’ world.” believes that North “there is an intellectual

obligation on the part of all i of us to be aware of our own roots, if only to know what we are rejecting . . . For those of us who are Christians there is an obligation to have an intellectual grasp of our faith, and to say clearly where we stand, for the sake of our own emotional, intellectual and spiritual well-being.” The Pascal Lectures have attempted to present the ways of Christ without arrogance and presumption, says North, noting that “an appropriate Christian stance in every I, situation is one ‘of repentance and humility, which is not in conflict with the need for boldness, strength, and joy.” North also said that the lectures are funded entirely privately, with no university assistance. This year sponsorship was provided by the A.R. Kaufman Charitab1.e Foundation. North is in the process of preparing the text of Dr. Malik’s lectures for publication, a task he also performed for the previous speakers. Malcolm Muggeridge’s inaugural lectures are available at the University book store. The student body has been represented on the Pascal.Lecture Committee for the past two years by Chris Vannin of Notre Dame College.

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Friday,

April

1981

Pages

UW Protests Irene O’Dell War At 6:30 this morning, a state of martial law was declared in the tiny Idiotoci-acy of Irene O’Dell. This follows the domestic squabbling and random acts of mindless violence which have taken place since the election of Sven S. A. Luckeenumber as President nearly four months ago. Within minutes of the proclamation, all fifteen members of the Irene O’Dell combined Police Force, Military and 4-H Club, armed with American M-l 6 Assault Pea-shooters, were combing the cities and brushing with death in search of rebels. Irene O’Dell is an island in the Atlantic Ocean. It sells scripts for television sitcoms to both Hollywood and the CBC. In return, Canada and the US supply the islandstate with data-processing units and computer programs. UW is one of the major producers of such programs. On Friday, a protest was held outside. the Administration building. Protestors shouted slogans and waved banners proclaiming “Free the Idiot State” and “StopUW Interference in a Stupid War” in an attempt to stop UW from supplying Irene O’Dell. Poul Mann-Carr, leaderof the protest, explains: “If UW did not export programs and Co-op English students to

run them, the raw humour that Irene O’Dell produces could not be refined and would, therefore, not be shipped backto usto be used ‘on Flappers.” Flappers is a CBC comedy series about a pet dolphin in the Roaring Twenties. “Thus, UW is responsible for propping uptheregime in IreneO’Dell, aswell assome of the worst television programming in decades. Any first year political science student can see that.” When questioned, MannCarr, a first year political science student, had to admit that he couldn’t “remember whether I’m for or against them.” He declined to say just who “them” was, but ended the interview by saying “Freedom to choose; freedom to be stupid!” UW President Burp Batspew laughed off the accusation, vague as it was. “That’s a vague accusation of naughtiness. To trade technology and expertise with a country,” he stated, “any country, is not to condone their politics. Look at El Salvador. Look at Korea. Look at Alberta. We do not make value judgements.” Batspew then cut off the interview, saying, “I’d Iiketo talk some more about it, but I have to go and receive an honourary sterling M-l 6 Assault Pea-shooter.” President-Appoint Duh Grite said, “Well, geez, I

don’t see that there’s any problem. If any of these Coop English students get knocked off, we still have theirfees. Don’twe?Andthe Irene O’Dell government pays us in sterling silver replicas of American M-16 Assault Pea-shooters. Man, do those things ever shoot a seed -, kapweeng! Just a mile, you know, and they’ll take an over-ripe fruit like it was a human sentry.” Norman D. Invasion, Chief Tactician’ for UW’s Department of Defense, stated that they have not been approached by Irene O’Dell for strategic assistance. Tossing a chipmunk from his desk, he said, “If and when they approach us for help, we will have to decide whether or not we want to jhelp them. , “After all, it is part of every

“Only an idiot would want to run this country.” The message was a direct attempt to repudiate charges brought against Luckeenumber that he is smarter than he looks and that he purposefully acted less intelligent to win the election. On Irene O’Dell, this is a crime punishable by death. Luckeenumber’s statement was not well-recieved, partly because Irene O’Dell has no television stations and, in fact, only four radios, one of which only picks up static (the other three are owned by the President himself). Sven R. Levin, self-professed leader of the fanatical group dedicated to the overthrow of the Luckeenumber regime, the Dutifully Unintelligent Mob (DUM), disagrees.

good citizen’s duty to help an ally of his country... “But, you know,” he added confidentially, “I really wish we could get some of those M-l 6 Assault Pea-shooters for our assault on the squirrels on campus. The little rodents are getting cheeky!” In a brief radio communication this morning which contained the announcement of martial law, Luckeenumber stated: “I would like to assure you that I have less intelligence than anybody listening to me now. I like to think that my record speaks for itself.” (Luckeenumber’s record, I’m Dumber Than Anybody I Know, has just been releas-

ed in North America by Polygram. Unfortunately, it does not speak for itself; it requires a phonograph.)

“He am smarter than me,” Levin stated several weeks ago, before the outbreak of open hostilities. “Any dummy can see that.” “Everything is under control,” Luckeenumber insisted in his radioaddress. “We do not need and are not requesting aid from any other country. Of course, we don’t like to be ungrateful... And return postage rates are so high... “If a shipment of M-16 Assault Pea-shooters were to be accidentally delivered here, we wouldn’t exactly say no... So...” The leaders of over fifty nations are waiting for Luckeenumber to finish that paragraph. Mai Rd. Istru For more on Irene O’Dell, see stories on page 57.

Getting ‘FriedA press conference called by the Department of Releasing Dangerous Information revealed Tuesday that UW students using the Campus Centre have somatic mutations at a rate 3455% higher than anyone except Dr. David Banner.

ing her work, I knew it had gotten serious.” Other grad students developed abnormalities as well: one soon had a pronounced fondness for the X-ray diffraction machine, another became a panelist on televisiongameshows and a third melted.

The cause of this incredibly high - in fact, usually fatal - mutation rate has been traced. “We - ahem we believe that the mutations are caused by radiation,” stated Dr. Ray Donn, an HKLS professor who previously uncovered the fact that cancer leads to cancer.

The latter development went almost unnoticed (it occurred immediately after a heavy night of drinking and baked beans). It was presumedthatthestudent(now identified as Cy Clone, a grad student working off his Psych loan) had merely gone off to set up a tent in the washroom.

Donn was pressed for a possible radiation source, but refused to say more. “Let’s face it,” he said “If I told you that the microwave oven in the CC was doing this, my superiors would have my can. There’s no way. ” ‘He went on . to state: “Sure, it’s obvious to anyone who looks at the machine that it was built to inferior specifications by a company which is owned through severaldummycorporations by the PRG, which in turn is raking in the bucks. So - no comment.”

When Clone did not return after two days an expedition was sent to his room. There, in a large tub; they found reddish jello.

Donn said he suspected that the mutation rate on campus was increasing when he noticed a somewhat more noticeable than usual abundance of body hair on his secretary and his grad students. “Usually, grad students are expendable, but when one of them developed a brain and started question-

This substance was later analyzed and determined to contain manyofthecomplex, chemicals that are found in higher life forms, as well as others not found in nature, notablyViIlagefood. Further investigation is pending.

Campus Kidna minas I

Police Chief Friendly today announced that the Campus Police have solved the baffling series of disappearances that have plagued the campus since June 19, 1980, He further announced that no arrest would be forthcoming because the kidnapper/murderer is a couch. “It isn’t much of a couch, actually. I mean, it’s beaten up and broken down. If one of our men hadn’t actually lost a leg to it, I guess we’d never have known.” The couch is located in the PEEPS office in the Campus Centre. PEEPS is a counselling organization for students. They had used the couch to relax students while they told their problems. PEEPS official Hi R. Thanakite explains.

“Well, man, the couch was kind of old and beaten up and had such a comfortable Karma that, hey, it would be positive for the flow-of the cosmznergy. And it was pure organic, know what I mean? So I didn’tknowitwassoorganic that it was alive, but still, there’s nothing worsewhen you’re trying to tell some cat your hassles and you’re on some plastic couch. No energy flow. “But I’m shocked at this, man. I gotta see my therapist . . . or at least my pusher.” The first disappearance was of Eunice Q. Marpdiddle, a third-year architecture student, who complained to friends of a severe headache and a mild suicidal urge. She “went out for a

Solved

breath off resh air,” reported her best (and only) friend, Wilma Heartbeebroken. The second disappearance occured three weeks later, with the disappearance of Craig Roosegoose, a second-year Arts student whose shoes were ‘found floating in Laurel Creek.. Dr. Upper of the Biology Department explained his theories about the couch. “Well, we have here the infusion of life into an inanimate object which once was alive. I have no idea how this happened, but I’m sure that merely describing this. . . thing. . . will get me tenure and international recognition. “Anyway. During the earlystagesof it’sexistence, it was obviously motile, as the scratches and thorns

Other incidents have been reported but are, as yet, unsubstantiated. Aduck is believed to have been placed in the microwave oven and come out as a duck with a fly’s head. Long range effects of the microwaves on the students of this campus can only be guessed at. Perhapsthe best solution to the problem was suggested by Dr. Donn, who said, “Look if all our brains are fried-we can all transfer to Engineering. Glenn

St-Inane

Carnivorous

couch

finds

reporter’s

material

hard

to swallow...

found on its underside indicate. “I believe that thecouch is pregnant. That is why it was not moving around, andwhy it was caught.” Upper has noexplaination of why the couch chose to settle in the PEEPS office. “Perhaps it merely likes smokey rooms?” Officer Friendly said, “I’m glad this is solved - except for that one student -what was his name? - Cy Clone - we still don’t know what happened to him. Oh well. “Now we can get down to blasting the squirrels! We’ll get those f urry bastards,” he declaimed. “And their small change in amounts less than $900 left carelessly in their desks, too!” he concluded. Gilbert Giblets

a ’

-Friday,

April

3, 1981

Pages

2 -

NEWS PABLliJ M SECRET SURGEON GENERAL’S REPORT REVEALED

A little-known addendum to the famous SurgeonGeneral’s Anti-Smoking Report was uncovered in a back room of the Government Library Monday. It had been used to prop up a table with a short leg. Upon investigation, it was shown that this addendum, never before released contained “Suggestions to Hard-‘Core Smokers”. Among the suggestions were: 0 Cancer is far more prevalent in people who posess a healthy nervous system; with all the nicotine in a smoker’s system, it’s impossible to be calm, lowering the cancer incidence. l Due to government taxes, smokers contribute to the economic growth of Canada. l Healthy habits like whole wheat bread, healthy lungs, crunchy granola and fasting went out of fashion with love beads and peace signs. In case a smoker is being attacked and harrassed by a group of ardent nonsmokers, the report says, “as a last resort, you can always claim you only have only one lung, and your chances of getting cancer are halved. In the ensuing stunned silence, you can make your escape.” London (CP) - At a dinner -given by the Conservative Party, Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher spoke only once. In her brief speech, Mrs. Thatcher discussedthe plight of lemmings in South Africa and thesouth African government’s policy of seperate but equal development-for humans and lemmings alike. Rome (AP) - In a speech to today, environmentalists Prime Minister Bofha criti-

cized England’s Prime Minister Margaret Thatcher for her cfiticism of his government’s policy on lemmings. When asked to qualify his statement, Mr. Botha replied that “Mrs. Thatcher should look at her own government’s ‘apartheid policy’, in particular, the isolation of Scats to Scotland.” Moscow (INS) -The Soviet news agency TASS today released two related stories about Soviet Premier Leonid Brezhnev. He recently suffered disappointment as his five-year plan was cut short in its third year by the Soviet government. For unknown reasons, he received a commiseratory telegram from television producer Gene Roddenberry. Tomorrow, Premier Brezhnev will give a speech on his “remaining two-fifths” plan, outlining his plans on disarmaments, the Peace Corps and expanding Pepsi concessions in Siberia. Rome (EIEIO) - Today the famous late film producer Cino Visconti Today, Norman D. Invasion, Uberlieutenant of UW’s Department of Defense, announced an all-out offen“squirrels, sive against chipmunks, muskrats and other rodents on campus.” The UW troops will dress in combat greens (as opposed to the dress greens they currently wear) and will go about armed and dangerous. Invasion has already been arranged for some equipment to be brought in from the United States, as well as technical advisers to instruct the UW men on the use of these weapons. Invasion said he was not sure what was going to be sent, but he hoped “a small nuclear device” tactical would be included. For a picture, see page 3.

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student 60 Pages has uncovered startling evidence which shows that the student newspaper, Misprint, is corrupt and morally bankrupt. Prime actors in this seedy drama are Marbles Sandottir, editor, and Vim Simonize, Federation President. Sandottir apparently rerouted funds intended to pay off the paper’s debt (now nearing the size of the GNP

Newspaper

of lrene

O’Dell) to support Simonize in his bid against Maggie Tomcat in the election last January. The paper is receiving regularcheques from the Federation of Students; Sandottir apparently deposited one of these cheques in the paper’s name and then wrotea large cheque for a maintenance visit to the phototypesetter which is located in the Misprint office, just beneath

the Fed office. Shortlythereafter, Simonize, dressed in a suit and carrying a briefcase came downstairs and went into the typesetting room. Once in the room, he opened his briefcase, passed certain incriminating photographs to Sandottir, opened a few easily accessible panels on the typesetter and said in a loud voice, “There, that looks like

it’s done it.” He replaced the panels and, his charade as a repairman done with, Sandottir gave him the cheque. Unfortunately, - in the process of removing those panels, Simonize spilled a coffee into the machine ruining it utterly. This necessitated a visit from a real repairman, and was one of the subtle clues that led to his being discovered.

Ducks Stone’s Throw Away Vandalism and violence have reared their ugly heads on the UW campus in recent months. Papers have been destroyed in ES 1. Washroom doors have gone missing. Cars have disappeared from in front of the CC. Youthful Co-eds have been viciously molested on their way to classes. “It’s almost as if we’ve moved to Detroit,” stated security’ spokesman Hans Off. Startling new evidence has linked these seemingly unrelated events to an unlikely, mild-mannered campus group. No, this is not the newly-formed’ Clark Kent Fan Club, nor the SCA planning an attack. The University of Waterloo’s ducks are revolting. Not only that, but they are planning a revolution. In an exclusive interview, spokesduck Donald O’Daffy outlined the webfeet’s plan. “We are going to systematically destroy this campus unless our demands are met. “If you do not comply, this entire section of town will become a giant swamp where we will set up a Duck Dominion under UN charter.

We are prepared to carry out our threats. We have the ability to; the beavers are on our side.” The ducks have a lengthy list of demands which they plan to submit to the UW senate, Waterloo city council, the Ontario Legislature, Federal Parliament and, asa last resort,AIberta.Afterthe interview, O’Daffy said, “If we get these, we’re going to try and repair all thedamage done to any of our other fowl friends. Down with Foghorn Leghorn! Up the Revolu-

tion!” The demands include: l No more Village food. Only fresh French bread from -Paris and Russian caviar will do. Small brine shrimp must be imported daily. o Heated housing for the winter. The CC just isn’t good enough. * The retrieval of nesting grounds where Health Services now rests. l A special duck service at Conrad Grebel College. o A spokesduck on each of

You Want Drugs? “Oh mygod!“onestudent shouts, “I can see! I can see! Everything has turned grey! What is that sound? Could it be Barry Manilow? NO!” While investigating the phenomenon of too many drugsoncampus,thisreporter found that although there was a considerably heavy consumption of “Weed”, THC, LSD and cocaine, ASA (yes, plain old aspirin) was the real high stimulus drug. In fact, so valuable is aspirin that a black market operation, emanating from a well-known student service, has come into being., Such brands as Bufferin, Tylenol, Bayer and Excedrin range in price depending upon the quality and desired effects of the drug. Aspirin causesan immediate cessation of all throbbings, achesand pains in the head or other portionsof the body above the neck. Occasional results of this type have been noticed in other parts of the body. General analgesic effects are often claimed by regular users of the drug. These claims, however, have not been supported by scientific evidence.

There definitely are sideeffects. Depending on the kind of pill taken(“buffered” or “non-buffered”) stomach upset may result. The drug also tends to cause hormonal imbalances. This may- result in breasts if the user is female or a beard if the user is male. At the University Campus Centre, the apparent problem of drug addiction is not visibly evident amongst the crowd. I asked one student about the overuse of drugs and his reply was: “Hello, I’m Vim Simonize and I’m President of the Federation of Students.” It was obvious that this student was a latent victim of the “Drug Wars” (19681942). When inquiring with the Director of Health Services, James O’Bleary, he merely replied that the, student I had interviewed was suffering from delusions of grandeur along with a short range of vision. I asked him whether or not this is widespread among the greater proportion of students. O’Bleary gave no reply, merely shrugging. Kent C. Oxford, a well known pointdexter and law graduate from Ohio State,

considered the peculiar addiction to ASA relatively minor in relation to the, number of winos in Toronto. When presented with Mr. O’Bleary’s reaction. to the question of an overabundance,of drugs, Mr. Oxford could only reply that suchi things were not copacetic to! his way of thinking. He then1 offered me a few hits of acid., An unidentified source (A. J. Waternose) stated that‘ the walls had ears and short< men often lack height. I Oxford broke down in the’ face of this and stated that he was partially responsible for the epidemic since they had donated 40,000 boxes of Contac-C to the Book Store under the impression it was heroin. But the ASA connection did not end there. As it turned out, the root of the drug problem was rumoured to have been initiated by the student union.. As yet, no evidence has been found, except for the 37 empty aspirin bottles in the Federation office. The problem of aspirin addiction still continues unchecked by the restriction of proper drug dealers. Cornelius Tacitus

the BOG, Fed Council, CCB, PEERS, BENT, BED, ENGSOCA(apparentlytheducks don’t care about ENGSOC B), SciSoc, ASU and the Red Room. l Weekly readings from the works of Robert Mallard, an obscure 17th century novelist and bricklayer. l Daily showings of the 60’s television series “Danger Man”. l Free showings of “Our Wonderful Web-Footed Friends” (NFB, 1958) at .Fed Flicks and Cinema Gratis. Attendance Manditory for the entire University community. The ducks seem serious in their threat toI swamp UW unless their demands are met. They also appear to have the power to do so. Already a path of destruction waddles in their wake; in retaliation for parking lots being built on their nesting grounds, a band of marauding mallards has struck Married Students. The results are obvious: if those mallards show only half thedeterminationofthe rest of the flock, we’re in trouble. Next year we may be forced to stay on campus during reading week while the ducks take Air Canada specials to Florida. Brenda Binder

April

3,198l

60 Pages

Is Corrupt Careful investigation showed further evidence and also implicated other people. The cheque had been co-signed by Sylvia Joejob, a part-time employee of questionable reputation who claims to have a business on the side, working with glass. There is no hard evidence to convict her along with Sandottir and Simonize, but she did co-sign a cheque made out to “The man dressed in a suit” and she did not question Simonize’s identification, Others in the office at the time included Jake Deeant, a local ne’er-do-well who has been convicted at least once of loitering with intent to malinger and who also, in a fit of desperation, cosigned the cheqbe. Perhaps one of the most telling and yet subtle clues contained on the cheque itself was the cryptic inscription on the back: “To Vim - I hope this money helps you win.” It was signed, JW Blast. Blast is a man with’ known connections to organized crime. He masterminded the lmprint fraud, making hundreds of people on this campus submit articles to a weekly paperwhich existed nowhere but in his own mind. He held off suspicion by the invention of yetanother fictitious paper, the Chevron which he claimed was a rival tothelmprintand was disposing of the papers when they arrived on campus. Subsequent investigation showed that neither the imprint nor the Chevron had ,ever existed, anywhere, in any form. These four people, with the help of sundry henchmen, engineered a fraud which putVim Simonize into office. We went to the people concerned to ask them.

Marbles Sandottir, a short blonde woman dressed in a gunny sack, met the reporters at the door to the Misprint office. “You can’t come in,” she told us. When we attempted to go in anyway, she produced an X-acto knife and threatened our cuticles. “You’ll bleed so much if you cross this threshold, boy,“she warned us. When questioned, she answered, “I don’t know anything about Simonize. For all I know, he’s just a typical Fed hack, all talk and no action. By the way, could you lend me some money? Somehow I misplaced twenty thousand dollars of my household money and I really have to put gas in the car -” We then attempted to interview Joejob, a petite brunette who was chortling and typing up Misprint invoices. “What do you .want?” she demanded. “I have to get back to typing up these invoices. We’re lucky advertiserscan’t multiply, or they’d know we charge them three hundred dollars for the first column inch and six dollars for each one after that.” She claimed not to know anything about Vim either, despite the fact that he was standing three feet to her right, hidden by an ugly gray wall. Simonize was immediately cornered, and his reply was, “Hello, I’m Vim Simonize, and I’m President of the Federation of Students.” The other two implicated in this plot were subsequently located. Jake Deeant, a slim, dark-haired man with a moustache, was found jogging on the water of Laurel Creek. JW -Blast, the man for whom the word “big” was invented, was located in the Cont.

on page 44

,-I;;;rlay,

April

3,198l

60 Pages ..-_ 4,

Sixry Pages is the investigative journal at the University of Waterloo. We. are \ndepende,nt of everybody and everything and won’t bow down to anybody no matter how much you threaten us. Our publisher, John McMutant, a corporation without share capital, can be reacped at University of Waterloo, Waterloo, Ontario (885-l 211) but he won t bow down to your demands either. Neither will the mailman who delivers our mait to “Sixtv Pagm, Campus Centre Room 140”; if your message is s&ret, we havi a list of secret message drops posted. Sixty Pages holidays> and defends journalistic ethics and publishes on legal principles, so there.

PUBLISHER: ’ EDITOR: BUSINESS MANAGER: PRODUCTION MANAGER: ADVERTISING MANAGER: NEWS EDITORS: SPORTS EDITOR: . ARTS EDITOR: PHOTOGRAPHY: FLUNKY: PUBLISHER’S RELATIVES:

SOURCES

THIS

ISSUE:

Sixty Pages holds no responsibility for the contents of,the ads because we iigure.that if you read our paper, you’re too smart to be taken in. Besides, our publisher is related to the local ad agency and he feels that nepotism is a viable hiring practice. Besides, we need the money.

.Send Letters

A LETTER FROM OUR WAR CORRESPONDENT -7/6/4/19 7/l 9/7 15/23/17/21: 3/11/1/17/19/23 121 17124 23/8/1~7/12/12/ 22/10 21 12/16/14 3/12/19 24/16 IO 41 2/24 g/18/23/14 17/6/4/l 1 18/9/2b/lV 3/l / l4/7 - 24/l 7/22/l , 18/16/10. 14/22/5 1O/ 20 l/8/1 5/22/l 3 251 14/l /4/l 4 3/26/7/6/l 3. 23/12/16/20 -21/10/17/ i/r X6/:27//285 :w 23/g/2/25. 19/6/8/6 21/17/2l/ 5 9/21/l 5/l 2 6/24/21 24/5/3/21/6/15/24. a 23/1/19/12/l As usual, 60 Pages offers an award to anyone who can crack our code (it’s easy as pie). In. case of multiple correct answers, the prize goes to . the first received. Attempts at solutions can be left at one of our secret message drops, or brought to our offices. Oh, yes - his name is Randy.

our precious bodily fluids! It is this purity of essence that makes our country great, makes our continent strong, even in the face of the godless *******! Flouridation is only-one of a great number of other methods used by these parasites, ‘these scumsuckers in the Lake of Eden - why do you think the sea is salt? Not for thereasonstheywould have you believe. No. Once all the water on Earth was fresh and willing to’becomepart of our precious bodily fluids. Now look at it. We are surrounded by salt water that only does us harm. They would have you believe that life originated in the salt water. They would deny Biblical creation and the right to kill all those who do not believe. No wonder the world is in such terrible shape! Even the whales are almost extinct! Rise up! Our precious bodily fluids are threatened! Fortunately, I found out in time; I only drink pure rainwater and grain alcohol. I deprive women of my essence. Remember the canals on Mars. Remember Lake Erie. Remember that the +++++W+( . invented the flush toilet. . Join the fight for peace on earth today! General Jack C. Ripper Sixty Pagesmakesitapolicy to print al! letters received, no matt,er how obviously these were written by fictional-characters from highly su,ccessful films.

AWord. From Our Pu bl-is her. Journalism on the UW campus has had a long and colourful history. The colours have always been bold ones, forging ahead in the pursuit of Truth and Slime Beneath The Facade. Lately, however, these colours seem to have changed.(to red and yellow, or maybe to black and blue), and I have heard rumours that student, journalism on our campus is Boring. Boring!!? In response to that, I am presenting to you a list of some of the articles which will’ be presented in future issues of Sixty Pages, stories which reveal Truth and which revel in exposirig Slime Beneath The Facades. These are stories which strip off the veneer of our rotten, corrupt society and expose the termites who eat away at our moral fibre and our ethical baseboards. We cannot allow these parasitestodestroyall we havedreamedof,worked for and toiled in the garden Of.

To this end, we will be presenting these stories, and still others which will rock this campus to its 3ery roots: F Scandal in Scarborough - cheating To the editor: on IQ tests is I think you are a Fascist. revealed. That story you rah about me, l Food Services-an investhe one that forced me to tigation into the use of spoiled food,. and its supresign, sell my home and car, divorce my wife, pay my liers. children for ruining their ,o Stories on New Presigood name and go underdent Douglas Wright - an Dear *Editor, interview with his teddyground from the police for I would like tocompl,iment bear, who gives us insights you for your fine article on three months, was a lie! A filthy rotten lie! It into his chijdhood; and a the potential hazards of dirty wasn’t true, s‘he was over’ discussion of h,is politics, flouridated water. The art-sixteen, they were cold -“RightWingorLeft(oris‘hea icle was well-thought out, tablets and besides, I don’t bird at all?)“. Further we will and, if anything,‘erredonthe investigate his disturbing side of caution. I have been a smoke. I would like recompense from your paper, and resemblance to Roger Whitstudent of this very topic for some years now, and I have, I’m going to sue. As soon as I taker (have they ever been find a lawyer shady enough seen together?). some information that your to handle me. l Students - Do TheyTake reporter missed. And I am not related to Too ManKDrugs? There are a great number either Ronald Reagan or l Teapots - Crockery Poiof other ;!reas touched in the soning Us? sam.e way - pollution of our Adolf Hitler. Adolf Reagan And other investigations water. We must preserve 7 that will show the worldthat UW is not the calm, unThe Sixty Pages letters policy is highly arbitrary and troubled campus it appears upholds most @four beliefs. We’ll let you say anything as to be; that will show them long as you don’t say too many bad things about us. You that student journalism has can use a pseudonym if you want, butyou havetoinclude a vital and active part in a place where you can be reached. We like to edit the _ everything everywhere no letters - sometimes we get rid of the w’s.Asyou can tell, matter what. we have a lot of fun with our letters. If you suggest a story So Help Us, God. and we follow up on it, you get no credit whatsoever. Hey John t&Mutant -that’s the nature of the business. Send mail tv “sixty Publisher Pages, CC 7401or to the secret mail drops disguised as P.S. - We’re still miles ahead of the \ Glossette and the Misprint. deposit bins. .

John McMutant Ira Naysayer Syliva Bornagain Jacob Arsonist Whiz Wood Stupenny Ducat Sole Embolism Abbey Lane Various hidden cameras Marg Clayperson Donald McMutant John W. McBastant Grover McMutant-Wills Sharon Smythe-Mutant Cathy O’Mutant Deep Throat Deep Moat Leap Thoat Rolled Oats Otis’ Weddings 81 Caterers Leila 555-4762 .

News) Is Graph.ic Violence

social change. Journalism on the UW campus has had a long and In certain controlled colourful history. The colcoirntries, those which have ours have always been bold notyetthrownofftheyokeof ones, forging ahe;id in the dictatorship, the newspapursuit of Truth and-slime pers are forced to publish Beneath The Facades. Lateonly the government view; ly, however, papers have they may not comment come under attack and I feel unftivourably on anythi_ng, that it is time we looked at they are not free. Even inour the place and purpose of own True North Stronganjournalism and journalists free, there- are restrictions on the press. We are not in our society. Journalism, first of all,. allowed to publish pictures free journalism is necessary of graphic violence, we to prevent the rise of corcannot show nudes frontally. Why not? Face it people, ruption in our society, and to maintain it in a pure and that’s Truth! That’s part of wholesome manner, much what everything is all about, like letting sunlight into a that’s what we are here to dark and musty room, open-. show you. There should be ing the windows and letting no restrictions of, journathe fresh air in. However, lists whatsoever. journalism has lain fallow in Now, we must discuss our society for years, althese paragons of humalowing the closets td must ’ nity, these toil,ers in the and rot. And where werethe garden of social change, mothballs? - In the printing these gods who walkamong presses! you. That’s right: journalSo our purpoSe-now, in ists. Public oeinion has us these troubled, corrupt, rotdepicted as freeloaders who ten times is to strip awaythe attend meetings only if veneer and reveal thesilverfreebies are available, as heavy drinkers and as disfish nibbling at the base; boards and foundations of gusting drug-using falsifyour society. It’is our purpose ing bumsonthetake. Iobject strenuously to those imto strip away the wallpaper .and plaster and get downfo ages. Certainly journalists the oaken beams which are have a certain familiarity under insidious attack by with the Lower Aspects of society; it is where we work. these people, thesetermites But we do not like guilt-byupon free will and human nobility. association, and we have ways of getting back at the We must not rest or people who don’t like us. weaken; we will not rest or weaken. We are agents of Let’s face it: we can print

anything we wantto. Nyaah, nyaah! You know, &metimes I dream of a bloodless revolution, a coup d’etat which would leave us in charge. The world would be peaceably run as a’ Journalocracy, with us on top. We would do a better job than any of the creeps and slime who are incharge now. Of course, when you think about it, you realize that the reporters themselves couldn’t run the world. Look at the facts - most of those bozos can’t get anywhere without an editor to wet-nurse them. I mean, last week we did that story on the colour of the ES 2 building, and I had to literally take that idiot by the hand to the building site. He was really lunched out. Probably coke or something like that. Editors, man -that’s where the real power is. Look at Joseph Pulitzer f what is he doing now? I sure as hell don’t know. Flash in the pan stuff. Now, if it had been an editor, he’d be in the White House now, running the whole show, instead of Rompin’ Ronnie. Oh, granted, occasionally editors make mistakes, but who’s gonna know? I mean, we’ve really got it, we’ve got it all sewn up. It’s ours. We get to yell, “Stop the Presses! ” Power. This is what it’s all about. Ira Naysayer 1)

Friday,

Nothing

to do with

April

3,198l

“Why do some people answer questions with questions?” asked noted psychology prof lzzie R. Isnty, speaking at the latest WPORK (Waterloo People Organized in Researching Knowledge) milk bag seminar. “Well, why not?” The theme of theseminar, The Complexity of Modern Communication and its Dependence on Long Distance Operators, a pressing issue in today’s society, was ignored by Isnty. Instead, he spent forty minutes talking about people who answer questions with questions, a subject which proved of interst to virtually nobody. “A question is not an answer,” lsnty stated. “In fact, a question cannot bean answer, and an answer cannot be a question. Neither can the sun be the moon, nor the moon be the sun. Both, however, could be giant blintzes.Thiscan be understood by looking at death. “While death is not a question, it is also not an answer. Death -is really not like anything except possibly a telegram I once received from my mother. She had a dream in which a purpletongued dwarf covered her with gravy. “So, we see, to answer a question with a question is to question the; really answer and/or the question, but it is not to answer the question.” “Doyou reallythinkso?“a person from the audience shouted. lsnty responded: “Do you always pick your nose when you shout?” lsnty then cited the growing dependence of industrialized nations upon the oilrich third world sheikdoms as one cotisequence of not getting a direct answer to a “By the time the question. American government gets a straight answer,” lsnty warned, “It may be too late to save the US economy. Of course, a crooked answer migh\ help a little.” The question period after the seminar proved to be even less informative. “Have you found a correlation between mass communication and the proliferation of dentists in the twentieth century?” one person asked. “If I had,” lsnty answered, “Don’t you think I’d be

writing my award-winning thesis now insteadof lecturing before a bunch of university students?” The audience could not reach a consensus. “Do you feel,” another person tried, “That interpersonal relationships are being threatened by the lack of communication which prevails in this post-technological society, in relation, in particular, to ‘hot’ media in the McLuhanesque idiom?” “Would you please repeat the question?“lsntyresponded. The questioner said, “What?” A very boring conversa-\ tion ensued. Dissatisfied with the milk bag seminar, Sixty Pnges sent reporter Mdy D. Bestmann-Winn out to interview noted psychologist F. R. Vescent, author of the bestselling “Age of Rock: Rockof Ages?” and the Howdy Doody line of self-help books. What follows is part of that interview; most was edited on the basis of dullness. SIXTY PAGES: Professor Vescent, do you feel that there is a great importance to people who answer a question with a question? F. R. VESCENT: What do you mean? SP: Have you found people who answer questions with questions to be more...more seriously disturbed than others? FRV: No...not really, although perhaps we should clarify things a little. Are you referring to people who pathotogicallyanswerquestions with questions, or just those who don’t know any better? SP: Well, I hadn’t really thought about... FRV: Well, there you are, you see. If the original questions were well phrased and well thought out, they wouldn’t have to be answered with questions, would they? SP: I...1 guess not. (silence) Professor, do you see this phenomenon as being just one more example of the breakdown in interpersonal communication? FRV: Which phenomenon is this? SP: Why, that of people answering questions with questions. FRV: Oh. (pause) Can you doubt it? Alan A. Dayswerk

The island f#-*m

of Irene

O’Dell.

Its capital

Scott

O’Dell

is shown.

The natives

cannot

crb # .+L

Almost immediately after the declaration of martial law on the tiny island of Irene O’Dell, one of the leaders of the revolt, Kurt N. ?oothepoint, accidentally walked intothe mansion of President Sven S. A. Luckeenumber and was put under house arrest, Sixty Pages has learned. Aliyah Dullife, a Sixty Pages staff member assignedtothePresident’skitchenstafffwasable to get an interview with the self proclaimed freedom fighter. Pages:

N. Toothepoint:

Mr. Toothepoint... Please

don’t

call me that.

My name is Mel Iffluous. SP: Oh. You’re not Kurt N. Toothepoint? Mel IffZuous: Yes, I am. But while I am under house arrest I plan on using a ‘DUM pseudonvm. SP: I’11 say! Mr., uhh, Mr. Iffluous,there have been rumours that you have been mistreated... MZ...KNT...POW: Have you ever stared down the bore of an American M-l 6 Assault Pea-shooter, Miss Dullife?

tell up from down, or North Map by Dan Trembley

Irene O’Dell:

“A .Stupid Little War” Only fifty years ago, the tiny island named Irene O’Dell was found, the only land mass of appreciable size in the middle of the AtlanticOcean. Itsdiscovery was totally accidental; an intercontinental cruiseship, blown off course by a< hurricane, washed up on Irene O’Dell’s shores. At first, Irene O’Dell was considered a scientific and sociological oddity..lsolated for hundreds, perhaps thousands ‘of years, this tiny society had evolved its own language and cusJoms, most of which appeared as rather strange to the people of the 1930’s (and which appear strange to this day). Politically, Irene O’Dell was(and remains) ruled bya unique system referred to by many sociologists as “ldiotology”. ldiotology is, simply put, rule by the least intelligent. (A popular theory states that Irene O’Dell is populated by the offspring of a Viking ship blown off course over a thousand years ago. The necessary in-breeding during the intervening centuries would thus produce a race of idiots. The only proof of this is the average IQ of the Irene O’Dellian - 75 and the fact that half the

male natives are named Sven.) Once every four or five years (or whenever he gets around to doing it), the President of the nation calls an inauguration. Natives from all across the island travel to its major city, Scott O’Day, to participate in the “schrooning” festival. - _ (Of the major city, former Irene O’Dell President Sven Daysinaweek once stated that “it used to be a ghetto, but we tore it down and put up a slum”.) Candidates spend a week making speeches, opening roads, accepting plaques and kissing babies. Some political scientists claim this part of the ceremony is proof of the theory of parallel evolution; most do not. The night before the election there is a tremerndous feast. Those who wake up early the next morning are immediately disqualified; only those who awaken past noon are eligible to continue. Those who wake up in the evening, missing the next test entirely, are made members of the Senate. ’ That afternoon, the candidates each hit themselves inthe headwithaschroon(a native bird resembling a crayfish with an exoskeleton as hard as a rock). The

last candidate to remain standing is declared the winner and takes office immediately. The week following the election is declared National Medical Help Week to give the losers a chance to recover. Historically, Irene O’Dell has had few dealings with therestoftheworldowingto its great distance from any inhabited land mass. There was once a theory that the conquest of Poland, France and other countries by Adolph Hitler during World War II was really only practice for his take-over of the tinv island-state. The theory was that Hitler had grown fond of the schroons which, because of the difficulty in getting the meat out of their shells, were considered an Aryan delicacy. The major turning point of the war supposedly came when the schroons went into their year-long period of hibernation(which occurs once every decade if there is a World War). Despondent, the short, moustached dictator eventually took his own life in a bunker, surrounded by sleeping schroons. This theory, first proposed by an Irene O’Dellian, has

A Dull Trite Interview With A POW

Kurt

57-

enemas:

Milk Bag Enigma

Sixty

60 Pages

of the acts of mindless violence which have SP: Well, no, I...1 haven’t. POW: It’s not a pleasant sight, I can assure YOU. plunged your country into civil war? POW: Well, there is this little-known plant grown SP: Yes, but... on our island which we call the Poltroon. Usually, POW: And the rooms! They’re so small... it falls natural prey to the predatory yet SP: Really? How small are they? A few decades ago, POW: The rooms are so small that you have to go herbiforous schroon. outside just to change your mind. however, when the schroons went into their Sp: Really? period of hibernation, the multiplication of the POW: Yeah. They’re so small the mice are poltroonswas allowed to go unchecked. This hunchbacked. caused a temporary imbalance of the delicate SP: Uh huh. What about other examples... ecosystems on the Gland, causing most natives to POW: Oh, the torture, thetorture. Theyforce usto list to the left. listen to Chipmunk Punk..SP: What’s so bad about that? POW: At 78rpm?

SP: So?

POW: So, we believe in the freedom of poltroons to multiply and grow prosperous, as is their right. SP: Is that all... SP: Oh. I see. POW: Sure. And the guard is so ugly... (pause) POW: We also believe in thewholesaleslaughter of IQ points. ‘Stupidity in our time’ has long been Aren’t you going to ask me how ugly? our motto., SP: I wasn’t planning on it. SP: Indeed. Well, thank you Mr. Toothepoint... POW: Oh. SP: Mr. Iffluous, what did your group hope to POW: Iffluous. Mel Iffluous. accomplish whenitembarkedontheperpetration SP: Thank you very much!

always been unpopular among most students of that period of history. It is recognized for what it is: a stupid theory. In more recent times, both the east and the west have, in their quest for allies, sent aid to Irene O’Dell. Although its government has spurned offers of arms, it was only too happy to accept money and technical advice. For the most part, the bamboo huts with mirrored floors or without roofs or doors have been replaced by elegant townhouses and skyscrapers (most of which have roofs, linoleum and doors). Some natives who have resisted change have been given plastic huts with the occasional structural aberration, but there are few of them. Irene O’Dell produces nothing in large enough quantities to trade on the international market (except seabird guano, for which there is little demand). When the native language was fully translated, however, it was found that Irene O’Dellians are traditionally a humourous people and their language is filled with puns, double entendres and the like. Almost immediately, Irene O’Dell started export\ ing jokes to the United States to be used on prime time television. The volume of trade soon grew so great that the US government had toputaquotaonIreneO’Dell humour to protect its domestic produce. As well, the local religion -worshipofthesacredfruit is dying out with the introduction into Irene O’Dell society of television, despite the lack of a television station on the island. Sowarnowoozesoverthe tiny island of Irene O’Dell. With their usual good spirits, the islanders are smiling through the rain of peas from the military peashooters. Whatever the outcome, one thing seems certain: it won’t matter at al I.

Fran Kleemydir

-Reporter Kisses~t.Boss’s -A&$. ‘BLOOD’N’GUTS John

McMutant

. Imprint

Publishing

Co.

“The future of journalism lies in the grai>hic depiction of violence,” claims John McMutant, well-known cruL. sading newspaper publisher and traffic accident ,fet-

a master. .Thi\s kind of’ skill is also evident in Chapter 1: “Journalism and Censorship.” McMutant first discusses’ the theory behind censorship and how it is implemented in each of the. ten provinces, the two territories and a small town in Idaho oi Nebraska. Then he goes on to the helpful hints - useful even to a professional jo’urnalist of long standing. McMutant -explains the many ways a dedicated reporter can get around editors, publishers and other c&nso?ing. bodies bent on ruining good copy to serve their own ends.

ishist. Only McMutant’i preciIllustrated with dozens df sion brai’n could delve into colotir pictures showing the the problem of reporting on mutilation of the human violence in such detail and body with surgical clarity, with such soul. Take, for tvis book is bound to become, instance, the Foiward, in a classic. McMutant has which he explains his posisurpassed himself; this eftion in world journalism. fort is .even better than his’ 3rom the first words, “Jdurprevious work Traffic Accinalism at UW has a long and dents I Have Known and ,colourful ‘history-” we Loved. know we are in the hands of

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ed in Chapter 11: Where to Look. McMutant revesls twenty hit herto hidden ways to get others to fight messily without endangering your own life or equiptment. Sleazy bars and dark alleys have much to recommend them. Further, there is a short section on “How to Ride in the Ambulance”; it is a journalistic truism that a picture of a muggindvictim .lying in a hospital bed is worth twice the circulatidti of the same person if they hbd died on the,.street. ’ Motorcycle . gangs are classed as r,isks, but, as McMutant says, “Win their confidence with free drugs and. Harley-Davidsons and they’ll let you tag along to every rumble.” No major work of this calibre would be complete without achapteroncamera care. McMutant thoughtfu’lly places this chapter,-17 - near the end for all who like to read the endings first to see who done it. Little tips like “how to get dried bldod off your lens” are covered in exquisite detail, with step-by-step instructions and clearly drawn illustrations. Blood’N’Gwts is a must for every journalist or necrophiliac, whether he’be an old pro at police headquarters or the new man in the obits. ’ Copies are avaitable, handbound in red Yeti leather with gold leaf titles, in any fine bookstore, or contsct the publisher for an autographed copy. Cathy McMutant

COUNCILS (CANADA)

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Unfortunately, this chapter was banned in Ontario. However, it can be read in British Co!umbia, Alberta ahd, if you are over 15, Quebec. McMutant’s brilliance reaches a peak with Chapter 5. The topic: Composition of Photographs. Certain exposures should be atiidbd as all of the grotesque’, tiny details for which the audience is paying are obscured at subsequent stages in the printing process. McMutant vividly. recalls an episode when he was just starting out on a local paper called ,We Know Yow Want ToRead About Celebrities Like Carol Burnett So We’ll Give Ybw Copy Even If We Have To Make It pp (known colloquially as We Know You). “I had just taken a really good picture of an accident victim. I was really proud of it; I mean, you could even see the hezirt in that mess, throbbing as. the guy lay, there on the pavement. And to top .it all off, most - but not all - of his girlfriend’s clothes had’ been torn off. The picture made itself. “Unfortunatdy, when the ‘time came for the editor tb decide, he.realized that my pit would be muddy because of a .few silly mistakes. He finally went with the article on what celebrities called thei; pet avocados. It was a .great lesson to me.” Such personal revelations as this niakethis book more than a handbook; they make it an insight* into~ the ,&nd and soul of the author. His creativity is highlight-

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April

3,1981

60 Pages

59-i

clues Spotted

our ‘Beatles Alive? Rumours that John Lennon h?as not been dead several months have emanated from the underground press. . They were originated by a number of sharp-eared, eagle-eyed fans who noticed a common theme(plus sundry other clues) running through all theiralbums,the last of which was released over ten years ago. The available clues gathered by ardent fans are rather interesting. The continuous theme of life running through their albums have piqued the interest of many. l Whowasitwho”wokeup, got out of bed” in the lyrics of “A Day In The Life” from the Spt. Pepper album? l In this song, the following lines from King Lear: “Sit you down father; rest you” reinforces the life theme. l Life again pops up in the Magical Mystery Tour album in the form of the eggmen, ancient southern farmer’s symbols of life. e At the end of that song, someone says in a slurred voice “I married John.” e The lyric”J’ai Guru Deva” from “Across the Universe (Let lt Be) literally means “John cannot die” in ancient Hindustani. The mysterious surrealistic electronic compositions found on the double white album include may garbled phrasings. Try taping “Revolution 9” backwards and, besides Beethoven’s ninth symphony, you will hear Paul McCartney

repeating clearly and distinctly, “You know he cannot die, man”. ’ Fans have also gleaned clues from record covers: The Sgt. Pepper cover shows a crowd gathered around an alligator with a coffin on its back, symbolic of eternal life and a good party in Egyptian mythology. l Also on this album, John is the only one wearing daisies on his jacket, while the others wear nothing organic. l On the cover of A Hard Day’s Night, John’s back is turned (at least, it looks like John whose back is turned). l On the cover of Help, John l

has raised his arms in a gestureof surrender(which, coincidentally, is the semaphore form of the letter “L”). l John is making an oldfashioned pact-with-Satan sign on the cover of The Yellow Submarine. Is this another con job by Lennon/McCartney or does the theme of life mean something? After all, Lennon’s wife, former Yoko Ono, has plans to release another album and...well, nobody can believe that he’s dead, and... Something is going on, but whether it’s a huge hoax or for realnobody knows for sure.

Juan

Atatime

Introducing Backing. 7

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The train,

that

is. The

The room to relax? Is spirit of togetherness le on a train seem to

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how one way is getting popular these

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Can-

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“The night was still, quiet, aetherial. A wet quietness that collected on night-cool4eaves and dripped, dripped on , the inches-thick humus below. Mist clung to the ground lovingly, passionately, obscuring the sight of small insects e that only come out at night. “A sound. .Not a -common’ sound -jri the woods at night when the moon is full and small chitdren are lying bbed, their dreams full of visions of sugarplumb faeries with long, canine teeth; but none the less a sound belonging to the, _ night, because the daylight would never have it; wo’uld have reject&d it for being too uncouth, animalistic, for being found in a sentence much, much too long...” Thus begins the narevery earth-running critter, ration to Simon J. Featherand not a few reptiles. inbstone-Smythe’s new siBut what i.s the meaning lent film, “The Habitat of of life? the Squirrel’s Ego”, newly (“Sex. Or booze,” mut. opened in Kitchener’s Cineters Cecilia. I resolve to Flex. stuff his floppy ten-gallon Featlieringstone-S.mythe hat up his anus. But later.) has done it again! But this “Ego” fails to provide the reviewer is once more floored . and flabbergasted at the aud, ience turnout to *is exem, plaiy ‘addition to the filmation .* . ‘field; only three psych stuc+nts ’ (one of them wearing a feather), myself ati Cecilia . from the Glossette turned out ,,: for the first Gewing, &I Cecilia - (he’s really a man, you know) only came because of his free *ticket, the churl. Now you’ll ‘hear what you missed; / “Squirrel’s &go” explores the depths &d heights that a Small, fuz& built-low-to-theTground - but - able-toclimb jrees - real - fast soul can .Fea$h. We look at the Uni, ’ vp-se, (“God, if you will” @utters 42edilia into my mini-tapey) and how it ‘$ffects small, furry~ things &at quiver in fright while large gallumphing animals . !&rid& by,-or maIIards.flutter ‘- ,qv&head. - It looks at deep, @biding _fears, stares, into she faces of private demons pnd public phantasms ,(“I %eed a drink. Where’s that bottle you brought?‘Cecilia from the mini-tapey. I reluctantly hand him my five-year old scotch. It was ‘much too young to die&of

Cant!

fro& p. 5.1 . Drop an ounce.of MSG. :,Ttiis filth has the heartbreak -- ’ of’ cerebral hemmorage. I ,\iuouldn’t say anything else - about it. ’ Wait (down you foolish reptiles 171 tend to you in a second have you ever seen ‘snakes that are all flourescent orange and green and have long sticky tongues with flies stuck to i-them?) \there is one good +, <point. Fred’ Astaire is .abrilliant, though I question his being cast as the Anti,Christ...oh well let’s just ban the bomb. Cont.

from

page 44

Further. eviden_ces of collusion are also ‘there. Simopize hasgiven Misprint free access‘to Fed meetings “while 60Pageshastopayan entrance fee. Misprint ‘,;eporters are-allowed to sit ’ e on the furniture, and-get invited out to dinner by \ ‘people like Denise Doddoring, That the sin of laundered inoney was not serous is not a valid argument. Simonize himself has stated, “If that last twentythousanddollars hadn’t suddenly come in, I ‘doubt if I could have won. If it had been anyone but :cMaggie, I know I couldn’t have won at all.” So it wasat a criticai point that Misprint ‘y intervehed! * 3) John McMutaht ..

answer, or a new mrase-ology to the question. But it does have very nice music, for a silent film. Fsatheringstone-Smythe’s decision to film all in black.and white is equally correct, especially when he highlights it with brief sequence3 in true-life colour; for example, the frequent dusk and totaldarkness scenes. One of the most poignant eqcounters is the drowning scene, involving a neighbourhood swimming poolj water, and-8 concrete block. The bubbling ieemingly goes on for hours; and when the little pelt floats slowly, so slowly to. the surface

FINEST

Looked at from a harsh, demanding, eyes-open, feetfirmly-on-the-grotind point of view,. this film stinks. But -Featheringstone-Smythe deserves much better than this. (“And as long as you,get free tickets, you’ll give it to ‘im, too, ‘I mutters Cecilia. But he’s just drunk. Don’t believe him.) . Looked at from this latter point of view, this is one of Featheringstone-Smythe’s .

QUALITY

Or go screw yourself. I don’t care. Speaking as a; drug-crazed hippie waterhead adman, with no brain ’ to speak of but fuckin’ load& of talent so’s I get cushy jobs Cike \. this, all I can say is that this is really, realy good shit. I’m, like, supp&ed to say “3 subtle combo of 17 prime grasses makes DREAM0 marijane a (dig this) connoisseur’s roach”. But screw that. I’ve got one right here as i I type this slop and i can tell you, it’s entif to make u sit up-and take yor soks off and FREEK ME OUT

WOW

wow

(“Oh that poor ‘jittle sqti6 r/y!” Cecilia sobs into-the mini-tapey. I push‘ the jerk away. A .Doctorate at Harvard does not a reviewer make.)

_ _ _O.K.

fergot t0 @they put acid in this stuff. . . whatta rush; i don’t care any more. an’ yoo won’t either. Goo’bve.

- .

L:* ,

best. Of his three, only “Machinations of a Songwriter’s Fingertip” closely approached “Ego” in terms of -artistic unity and holist-ic perspective; but that is neither here nor there, thither or yoti, hence or fence; this is reality. and I’m closely approaching my third page of copy! (“+’ the way / write, chum.. . ” mutters Cecilia. I push him away with unnecessary violence, repudiating his “chum”.) F-S’s first film, a seminal work which spawned three filthy books found in manyToronto lower-class bookstores, “The Lady .Who Searched For And Found

MA‘RIJUANA

i. I

-‘-~ml~’ ‘s~tfory UIG DREAM0 Dibgs I \\ the two-way KiATUl -

The Virgin Grasshopper’s , Legs” was nothing like “Squirrel” or like anything else for that matter, excepting perhaps certain clas*ical music (“often per- ; formed by the K-W Chamber Music Society in .my . fhic) house”) muttered Cecilia, taking m I attention wholly from this fartsome film. (At thispoint, I turned off the mini-tapey and dumped f this review. This column will resume at Cecilia’s where the K-W. CMS is performing “The Lady Who Searched For And Found ,, The Rapacious Grasshopper”.)

r’

The Murdered -

We are past the perfect. It lays beyond now; a lovely reflection, of our past. We enter the rocky stretches where reality burns into our souls leaving little room for fantasy. We take the change within the stride, recovering from trips and stumbles, that do incur along the way. Beyond, we see a paradise or is it

Balloon

The girl she sits, on the granite street, the string in her white knuckled hand tied to a-corpse of plastic shards, loosened from the tensioned, tightened air filled sphere of clammy breath. You’re crying, child. -My balloon is dead! she frowned, eyes red; -my balloon is dead.. . -A sharp man came (Eyed widened, pulse quickened) -and looked at me; he stared with scarey eyes (Tears reappear, lungs hold back moans) -A click, a pop; (Those twitching ears) -balloon was dead. (Remembrance of the sorrowed lost.)

a mlrage\ulie Lynne

Come, little girl, leave the ground. Let’s find another toy for us. (A furtive grip, knuckled white, glued on a knife.) Yes come, my child.

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i give you credit, even the timing was perfect i was rooting through albums pictures of pleasures when i pulled out the one of us climbing Tunnel Mountain, when your figure vanished from the picture and i heard the screams that had so long tried to escape

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i am so tempted. to unwrap you from the veined wrappings but you are still sweating dried blood ’ hurting through, the tissue i will not pry You loose for the pain of tearing . ..pieces dissolving, like water to paper in the ointment of my hands disembodying losing.. . No the surface beneath the surface is not. prepared to surface to my touch i will not move you in . .. you are too precious to be jostled, shuffled, pushd amongst the newspaper-cardboard-box

the yet unborn the assurance (assuring ,

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for

you have been cut though wrongly so but i will learn to r ea d (as in rat) (as in duck) the FRAGILE upon the box You live i will undo the bloodied m,ess to free you to the healing air collect i will leave you upon the shelf to dust: n. a cover of felt that will lose the sun’s rays in you i will (only) approach to caress and polish (for i can still hear the cover nubbing don’t-do-me-this voice warning of the unfinished edges that will pull catches into my cloth) until cloth smooths over and sunlight colours through you into the spendings of my days

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They returned to an impatient crowd with the news that the Toronto Maple Leafs were winning and proceeded to go through some of the new material from their forthcoming album slated for release in September. “Lucy Potato” was one of the new Teenage Head songs. As Frankie Venom explains: “The song is simply about a hooker in Toronto who gives group rates...or should I say grope rates!” There were a few unexpected turns during the show with covers of Iggy Pop and Gene

Meanwhile, back at the Kent... A poor turnout marred a good weekend Upstairs at the Kent. The sound was far below par on Friday night, but an extensive sound check smoothed the rough edges, and made Saturday’s show a pleasure. A surprise band’took the stage Friday evening and early proceeded to throw together a little something that would shame many bands in this area.

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Vincent songs. The concert closed with the obligatory incore, which turned out to’ be an Eddie Cochrane sone (Venom refers to Cochrane as the “King of Rock ‘n’ Roll”). The song featured the sorely missed lead guitarist Gordie Lewis who has spent the last five months in a body cast after a car accident. ‘Once again Teenage Head seemed to be the highlight of a term’s stagnant BENT schedule. The question is, how long can BENT rely solely on Teenage Head for live Rock ‘n’ Roll entertainment term after term? Tim Perlic h

Teenage Head returned to the WMI, last Thursday, older, wiser, and as always, predictable. The recent tour of the west with the . Boomtown Rats seems to have taken its toll. However, by the time Nick Stipanitz went into the intro of,, “Let’s Shake”, all thoughts of a had, sedate performance ’ dissipated. The band followed with most of the standard tunes from their first two albums. After a surprisingly short set, lasting all of forty-five minutes, the Head went backstage to “recoop” for the second set.

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Max Webster are trying too hard. They’re trying to please. And they’re trying to sound sophisticated (eclectic, whatever). . As a result, Sunday’s program at -the Humanities Theatre saw them in over their heads. The crowd was a young one and not hesitant in sparking up at the drop of a hand. There were a few who tried to shout and shake their fists and raids their thembs in approval. They all looked terribly uncommited and seemed quite awkward in the concert hall setting. . The music would more aptly be called noise, it was loud and unmelidic. ,They were just doing a half-assed job of things. The best song of the night had to be Meet the Waterline and even then the vocals were screamed (no projection). Every song restated the underlying conflict between instruments and vocals. A disappointing way to end this term.

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Formerly known as Raw Dogs, the band is now one month old and goes by the name of Soma Vacations. They. played both nights without charging and were a worthy opener for the main attraction; the Crash 80’s. Tangredi (the 80’s lead vocal) . performed with the intensity of a mandman, as he vaulted erratically around the stage, using every square inch. A few times he teetered precariously close to the edge; knocking mike stands as he crossed in front of the drum riser, his own microphone flew onto the dance floor as it slipped through his fingers and detatched for the cord. Gilbert Smith and Doctor Saxxe provided accompaniment on guitars while Bill Wallace and Linda Harvey (drums and bass) gave everyone a shot of Vitriol in the form of an imposing backbeat. Crash 80’s and Soma Vacations: New Music on the climb.

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Much of the Ensemble’s notoriety comes from its exclusive mandolin orchestra, (representing the full range of mandolins) and backed by a complete percussion section, flutes, oboes, clarinets, double bass and electric piano. “Eine Kleine ‘Hammer-Klapper Musik” was by far the best piece presented by the ensemble. Extremely diverse music styles came together with energetic percussion and an especially elusive whistler who turned out to be the conductor. With such a Springtime flavour, one couldn’t help leaving in high spirits. The audience received what they came for and left happy. Even I considered the evening a success my date didn’t fall asleep. Thanks Shevchenko! Patricia L. Shore

How many times have you gone to a movie or some other gathering and sat through the’ first three and a half minutes, bored, to the’ tune of “0 Canada”? Perhaps you need to experience the opening of the Shevechenko Ensemble’s show, to prove that there is more to the National Anthem than obligation. This program opened with sincerity and nationalism thick enough to cut - and continued in a spirit of fun and joy evoked by the music’s very tangible spirit. The Ensemble of 120 singers, musicians and dancers (the majority of Ukranian bat kground but including Canadians of Polish, Macedonian, Italian, Russian, Jewish, Slovak, Finnish, English and French Canadian background) gave a well-rounded performance with something for everyone, but moreespecially for the Ukranians.

The emperor was in his underwear! No, not during a risque adult play, but in the Hans Christian Andersen fairy tale, “The Emperor’s New Clothes”. A frequent visitor to the Waterloo area, the Actor’s - Trunk Company performed the chiIdrenS classic in the Humanities Theatre last Tuesday. The audience, consisting of several hundred school children aged five to ten, could not have been more delighted with the company’s performance. The troupe proved to be expert at stimulating the imagination of its young audience. Before launching into the fairy tale, the various cast members introduced themselves and familiarized the audience with the techniques involved in acting. The troupe made extensive use of audience participation, . throughout the production. By allowing several children to take part in the stage production, they elevated the children’s already near hysterical excitement. Hundreds of little arms strained high in the air, accompanied by cries of, “Me! Me!” The company displayed perfect tact in its ability to cope with the spontaneous outbursts of the excited young crowd. At times, the actors actually encouraged such participation. (And the innocent exclama-

tions of delight were refreshing after too many subdued adult audiences). Unfortunately, various portions of the show must be labelled as sexist, since two distinct incidents in the show portrayed women as helpless creatures in need of male assistance. One episode consisted of a female cowering in a corner, after being chased by a rather helpless looking lion. Only after being rescued by the male members of the cast, could the female continue her role in the show. The second incident involved an actress’s inability to climb out of a trunk without the aid of four males. No incidents of males requiring female assistance were present in the show. Both incidents were unnecessary to the plot and could easily have been avoided in the program. Apart from this, the production as a whole was expertly presented. The company displayed great skill in their ability to excite and intrique the young audience. Judging by the delighted cries of the children, the Actor’s Trunk Company’s presentation of “The Emperor’s New Clothes” must certainly be deemed a resounding success. Julie Lynn Joyce ’

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For the second year in a row, the badminton Warriors finished runners-up to a powerful squad from the University of Toronto. UW should be strong next season. They graduate only one player, Steve Hunter. Among the returnees are national-calibre athletes Keith Priestman and Jeff Goldsworthy. Priestman captured the Canadian intermediate singles title earlier this defeating Goldsyear, worthy in the final. : Priestman is currently making his debut on the ‘international scene, at the .a&England - championships at Wimbledon.

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Basketball

The basketball Warriors finished fairly well placing third overall in the OUAA West with a 7-5 league record. They had a tough season, working with a lot of new men but came on strong on a number of nights to beat the league’s best teams. A good nucleus remains intact for next year: Cal Kiel, Paul Van Oorschot, Phil Jarrett and Bruce Breckbill should all be back as will several other Warriors. The Coach is “looking forward to next season.” The Athenas would probably rather forget this year’s 7th place finish. “We knew from the beginning it was a building year, and that it would be a tough season,” says coach Sally Kemp. * Looking ahead, Kemp feels, “we built our team and should have a pretty good squad next year. A lot of individual progress was made.” Most of the team returns, including co-MVP’s Beth and Jennifer Parsons was Russell. Russell named to the OWIAA 2nd all-star squad.

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their mentor, McCrae, !‘The nu,cleus will be back, and we should be strong contenders again .. next year.” .

The Athenas wound up their season in fourth place in the OWIAA, just missing out on a trip to the nationals. Regarding tl leir expectations for next season, Coach Judy McCrae commented, “The majority of the team will be returning so bve will have a good nucleus. But I expect the league to be tougher. We will have our work cut out .” Amon returnees ---kg the will be Lisa Bauer and Jean

round choice of the Edmonton Eskimos. The Warriors will also be minus the services of Bill Boug, _the secondleading receiver in Canada in 1980. Boug is currently negotiating a contract with the Montreal Alouettes. Scott Startup will return to the BC Lion’s training camp, where he was the last Canadian cut in 1980, and corner linebacker Rob Sommerville heads for Hamilton and the Ticats. Graduating as well are UW Lineman of the Year Mike MacDonald-, Paul Geomans, and talented quarterback Bob Pronyk. It appears that the Warriors have some large pairs of shoes to fl11 next

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Figure.

Skating

UW’S newly-formed skating team figure enjoyed their first season of success this, year, recording many pleasing results in the OWIAA finals held-in February. Jody Polec finished first iiri the senior interpretive event, MaryCook came second in the Intermediate Solo Dance, and the dance team of Bill Cross and Shari Mann took an overall third in the Ju’nior Mixed dance event. The rather small team, under manager Gina Gicavskas, will hopefully grow and repeat this year’s feat, to an even greater -extent. *

Football The football Warriors recorded a dismal seventh place finish in the OUAA. Coach Wally Delahey, however, emphasizes “Our record doesn’t depict our play. We just were not consistent enough to generate more wins.” Several standouts will be missing when UW begins football camp this August: linebacker Frank Kosec, Warrior MVP and the CFL’s number one draft pick, is heading west to Calgary; defensive end Rob Logan was a first -.

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GY mnastics A diluted gymnastics team failed to place in the standings at the‘ . team OWIAA finals (most of the team was lost to co-op terms). However, individual achievements deserved honorable mention. Marg Lesperance regained the 1979 junior vault crown she lost to teammate Bonnie Cairns in 1980. Cairns, who competed senior this season, qualified for the CIAU champ_ionships in Calgary, placing 30th, but gained valuable national experience.

Hockey- L 80-81 finished

The golf team finished fourth :n its league also sporting some good tournament results, this year. They placed second in the Waterloo Invitational and fifth in the York invitational. In OUAA semi final play they ranked fifth again. According to Coach Carl Totzke they lose their two best players next year: Andy Bishop and Mike Moore (MVP), but have four or five freshmen to rely on who have showed well this year. “There will be some gaps to be filled next year” but if there is improvement on the squad things will look pretty good.

The Warriors

Imprint

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their worst seasons of recent years, including a first-time ever-loss to the perennial cellar-dwellers, the Brock Generals. The poor 2-4-14 record was due mainly to the mostly rookie nature of the line-up, and an inability to scare goals. Coach Bob McKillop will be shopping around for the needed goal scorers in the off season to give next year’s crew a bit more punch. Next season’s play will hopefully showcase the talents we have seen this year: from the goaltending duo of Jamie Britt and Dave Barrett, to the defensive Danjoe McCormack and forward Don McLean. The team’s , transition from “rookie” to “veteran” and McKillop’s coaching ability will be tested in trying to capture another championship feeling.

Rugby

The Warriors rugbY finished this year with a 2 wins, 4 losses, 2 tie season. The rugby league however was a tough one this year. In fact, the championship game went into four overtimes before a winner was decided! Next year ‘will be a rebuilding year in rugby, but according to Coach Derek Humphries, the team

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Skiing:

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The men and women of the ski team posted 7th and 3rd finishes, respectively, in Ontario this year. Skier-coach Sylvia Ounstates, “It was Puu disappointing compared to last season (when they won the title). The other teams really improved, especially Western. And we had too many falls.” Nevertheless, Ounpuu comments, “We had good skiing conditions this year for meets, and it was an enjoyable season.” She predicts, “next season will be tough but we have the ability to do better. We had three rookies this year, and next year they will know the circuit better. Hopefully, we will get to train more next year (at Chicopee).” Honorable mention goes to Brenda Henry who placed third over-all in the slalom event.

lbe

by Virginia Butler Tammy Horne Paul Zemokhol will retain a good core of players to build from so results may be good. Rugby MVP this year is ’ Ian Cathral, no. 8, who continued on to play for an Ontario team that went to the Nationals’. Also successftil this year was the club team, the Trojans, who ended up with a 5-3 record.

Skiing:

Nordic

The women’s Nordic ski team captured top honors this year in the OWIAA championship. The win was a vast improvement over last winter’s 6th place finish. members of the All winning team will be ‘returning so the squad should have another successful season. They are determined to defend their title. Their male counterparts place 2nd in the province. Next year they will be minus vet&ran Peter Piercy and coach Toni Scheier, and though some good skiers return, the Warriors have some holes to fill if they want to join the wonien at the top of the heap.

Running UW’s Harriers finished fourth this season, three better than their seventh placing of the year before. Coach Alan Adamson feels the runners have potential for further impro;ement in the future. The team has also enjoyed success on the track. Outdoors last fall, they placed fourth in the pro$ince. Not bad, but a bit disappointing. Coach Adamson expected they would place -higher, bit predicts “We should improve next year. We should have more distance runners.” Indoors, the UW tracksters were phenomenal, achieving - runner-up honours - in both the OWIAA finals and the CIAU meet at Saskatoon. Adamson comments, “I’m very pleased. It was an extremely good finish. Leslie Estwick was outstanding throughout the season in earning team points.”

Soccer The rookie Warrior squad certainly showed their stuff this season. After climbing through the regular season play, they reached the OUAA finals, where they lost 1-O to the cross-street Laurier Hawks, The Warriors have reached the final three out

April

3, 1981

of the past six years, but just can’t seem to make it any farther. With the team all returning and one year’s experience they should definitely challenge once again. Special mention should go to Tom Abbot who had a fine freshman year, being eventually named to the first OUAA all-star team. Coach Ron Cooper sums it up, “I’m looking forward to next year.”

Squash The Warrior and Athena squash squads did not “squish” many opponents during the past season. Commenting on a seventh place finish, Warrior Gord Willmot sums up the year. “It was a bit of a disappointment. We expected to do a bit better. We were missing two players at the finals. The team is young and the guys gained a lot of experience for next year.” The women’s season progressed along parallel lines. Missing two players for much of the season, the Athenas managed a mediocre fifth place finish, but benefitted in terms of player development for future seasons.

Swim Coach Dave Heinbuch the Warriors developed and Athena swimmers into quite a power this year. The group was very season, successful all winning several meets and finally finishing well in the OUAA’s, with several swimmers, led by Warrior Alan Swanston, making it to the CIAU’s. ’ Swanston picked up three silvers at the CIAU meet in Toronto by placing second in the 100,200, and 400 metre freestyle events. Athena Lynn Marshall picked up a third in the women’s 50 metre freestyle sprint while the men’s 4 X 100 freestyle relay team came in second for another silver.

Synchro The UW Synchro team, practicers of that little known sport (or should I say art?), came out seventh this season. The young team was up against experienced competition and perennial

Imprint

powers, so their showing was quite respectable. Noteworthy: Carol Hutchinson placed 4th in intermediate fintires in the while OWIAA fin&, teammate Susan Fisher took 3rd in novice figures. This developing team should make a bigger dent next year as they’ll keep practicing at those bizarre hours in the PAC pool.

Volleyball In league play this year, the Athenas racked up 16 wins against 2 losses. In playoffs they went O-3. They were undoubtedly one of Waterloo’s most successful teams for 80-81. Coach Pat Davis sees things as being good for next year. Although the Athenas are losing league setter Jan Ostrom, who also happens, to be their MVP, the coach sees possibilities for their next season. With a small loss quotient, they’ll have lots to work with. The--- Volleyball - men came close -but no cigar. After a 7-3 season record and a second place finish overall, the mainlyfreshman team lost to the York Yeomen in the semifinals. Carrying nine rookies on a twelve man team could spell the end of any team’s playoff hopes. But not’s0 with the Dave Husson-coached Warriors though. The team has gelled under the on-court leadership of John Kervin and Peter Zagar, and have started to build a reputation for UW as a good volleyball school.

Zmprint Typesetting

II II

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Wmrpolo The waterpolo team made it into the OUAA finals in November to cap a highly successful year. Though they lost in the four-team fir&, their performance and final achievement were not a disappointment to anyone. It was the first time the Waterpolo Warriors had ever been to the finals and coach Lou Wagner was quite happy about their finish. The McMaster team retained the title they had held for years in the final. Next Wagner’s year, forces will again attempt to take the title from the established power.

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