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The Campus Centre Board meeting Wednesday provdded an amusing but unenlightening casestudy in the absurdity of petty bureaucracy and grassroots participatory democracy, -and accomplished, absolutely nothing having to do with CCB business. After over an hour of miniMachiavellian maneuvers and infantile bad-mouthing, the meeting \ disintegrated .amid 1)rumors that another might be held sometime in the future if the pieces can be gotten back tog,ether again. Chairman Fred Bunting found himself entirely at a loss to handle all the, motions and counter-. motions, and several times-when the chair was challenged-had to hand the chair over to a bemused OFS fieldworker who was visiting the- meeting in an attemptto familiarize himself with Waterloo politics at the student level. Keportedly he is going to bring lettered building-block toys-and .,a large crib to the next U of W meeting he attends. 7 The entire Donneybrook occurred when the simmering ba,ttle between the *federation establishment and the Campus Cantre Board members came to a head over the federation’s campus Oktoberfest plans. ’ Two meetings the ago, federation stacked a CCB meeting\-and pushed through plans to hold a week-long Oktoberfest pub in the CC great hall. Rules necessitate a two-dollar fee at the door for such -occasions, thereby invalidating a CCB policy dating back to 1968 which holds that no event should be held in the great hall to which an admission charge is applied. ’ Art Ram, CCB member, federation entertainment -board chairman and Oktoberfest 5 organizer, told the board at the time of the passage ,of, . the Oktoberfest plans that he realized it contravened policy, but that “policiesI’ are simply guidelines and not hard-and fast rules. This set off a general shouting ‘match in which members asked what good, then, there is in having’ policies-the . CCB is so unorga,nized it could not find written proof of the policy at the meeting in which Ram first applied .for co-operation-and came to the concensus that policies are, indeed, pretty useless on a board with as little continuity as the CCR. The structure of the CCBespecially in the summer,- when many members are off-campuslends itself particularly well to ’ “stacking” tactics ‘and the ignoring of “policy”, due to the lackB>of any real bureaucratic staff or continuing personnel. It has also

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proven to be in elected body to which exceeding few students on campus aspire. Only one of the student seats is currently filled by an elected representative of the students. Others are either vacant or filled by acclamation by -members who are’ also heavily involved with other facets of student government, such as federation council. Which brought about the other big explosion Wednesday. At the last meeting, the CCB had haltingly arrived at a vacuous and ineffective method of dealing with “conflict of interest” charges, which issue began flying when began charging that the federation Oktoberfest organizer Ram and executive was trying to load the federation president Andy Telegdi board and run the campus centre. proposed and voted through the Telegdi replied that the campus Oktoberfest plans. centre is for the students, and that Dave Robertson-acting on . the federation is much more absent member David Assman’s representative of the students than proxy-tried unsuccessfully to the CCB members. revoke -the Oktoberfest okay, and “Well,” an exasperated then attempted to remove Telegdi Robertson told the board, “if you from the, board and- declaredon’t want to keep this policy and several other members in “con- - you don’t want to change this flict of interest’“. policy, you might as well throw out Telegdi had been requested to the whole bloody policy book.” bring to this meeting proof of Several members heartily agreed. registrationas a student for the ‘From there things went from coming fall term-since only absurd to worse, with personality students may sit on the board-but clashes taking the place of tactical he failed to do so, and, it was arguments, and Telegdi telling decided that until the fall term Robertson-who did not run in the starts, it will be -impossible to last federation election-‘ ‘The declare whether he is or is not a students voiced their opinions in student. the last election, and you lost; --At one point, the board went out nobody’s interested in your radical of its way to prove to itself the politics any more.” absurdity of having “policies”. A The entire conflict-of-interest motion by Robertson to uphold the quagmire was finally- tabled until nocharge policy for the great hall someone could make some sense of was voted down; then a motion by it all, and the Oktoberfest issue Ram to nullify the policy was also seems to have’ died. defeated: the board evidently In other business, student serwants the policy, but does not want vices board chairman John \ Jongerius it. failed once more in his frustrated bid to move his record Some #board members then

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Carie Armstrong (above) won the first Squir?cl’s Eye ping-pong tournasnt ‘men’s singles title Wedi?esday. The tourney, sponsored by. the campus centre turnkeys and held in the great hall, was a smashing success, with over 60 persons entering. Armstrong defeated Karl Culik in an excellent match for the men& cham-

University of Waterioo Water loo, Ontariovolume ’ 14, number 5 friday, j une 29, 1973

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thesized pesticides and herbicides tokeep its gardens green. What is - more distressing, perhaps, is that the university senate has given its \ tacit endorsement to this practice, in rejecting a motion put forward at- its last meeting which would have terminated such pest control_ until such time as a report would _ be foTthcoming from the Director store up from the dingy recesses of of Physical Resources detailing the campus centre basement. the kinds, a.mounts and long-term He -asked the board for pereffects ~of such chemicals as are mission to move into room 113-the used. room in which the board was Senate chairman cum university meeting-and was again referred ’ president Burt Matthews ruled to the “space and allocations student senator O’Grady out of committee”, which does not exist order on the -matter, apphrently ,but may or may not be born again more out of enthusiasm to adsoon. journ--it was the last item brought to the body-than for any reason pertaining to the substance of the motion. The meeting-senate’s last until September-also saw passage of, >pproval on a report from its Student Aid and Scholarship Committee which arose from a technically imegal meeting of the ‘\ committee May 28. The report recommended that the university ’ set. up a scholarship program, funded jointly by administration, faculty and staff, which would award scholarships solely on the Organic gardening enthusiasts basis of academic excellence. This and nature lovers alike must be criterion was disputed by the distressed to know that the committee’s student members, university of Waterloo, often whq felt that financial need should thought to be a progressive inalso be a factor in distributing the stitution insofar as its role in monies involved. setting an example to the comThese members were not munity at large is concerned, is at nresent at the committee’s final present using chemically synmeeting however, since the 24 hour notice giv,en was not sufficient to enable them toatteEd, and, despite the‘lack of quorum, the academic excellence recommendation was passed-again under the ‘guiding ,hand of the ubiquitous Dr. Matthews. -’ c Student federation president Andy Telegdi, whose article in . June 15’s chevron detailed the irregularities at that meeting, was able- to get a motion through the senate ensuring that in future senate’s committees myst follow senate bylaws concerning general meetings-,-which state in part that at least seven days notice must be given ‘all. members before a meeting can be held. The only other ‘item to /precipitate any discussion arose from a report from the Con! stitutions Study Committee, which consisted of guidelines intended- to assist faculties in forming their constitutions. One point which ca*me up was that of student representation on the general assemblies of the faculties-such representation not even being mentioned in the guidlines. Senator OcGrady proposed an amend.ment which pionship. while Cathy Cullen won the women’s w,ould have a number of students ’ title by default over Deanna Kaufman, who was equal to the number of faculty on forced to pull out of competition when she the assem,bly ; predictably, his pulled a/wrist muscle while winning her semiamendment was resoundingly final game. Prizes were not immediately andefeated; The guidelines were nounced, but no one seemed worried about subsequently _passed without their amateur status over the value. notable alteration.

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Anachronism and Gracious, Living

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ou drive to Niagara-on-the-Lake along the Queen Elizabeth and are immediately confronted by the extremes which characterize the Niagara Peninsula. You can’t avoid Hamilton and the ever present smell of sulphur and haze of smoke from the smelters at the steel plant and drive over land that was once used only for orchard farming. Land is being systematically devoured by business and industry-land which is among the finest for farming in Canada. But then, all of that is pa-t-t 6f the past-the Niagara Peninsula makes up the greater part of the industrial “Golden Horseshoe” : inescapable fact. Enough of the cold realities of life, you say to yourself as you pass through this part of the peninsula. An hour or so later and the highway has taken you through and around all of that. And you receive the jolt of unrealityapproaching Niagara. Or it becomes difficult to tell for sure which of the two extremes you are experiencing is real. Turning onto the main street, a clock tower rises gently into your scan. A Union Jack flutters out from a flagpole near it (when was the last time you saw a Union Jack flying--I’ve inadvertently driven into a museum?) No; that’s not the only union jack, there’.s one on the house to the left and another up the street and so on until you get the point that I am trying to make with the fluid symbolism of a British flag. Which is that if you have ever gone to Colonial Williamsberg (in Virginia) in hopes

to find some filament of a rich and peaceful past, you have had to put up with the fact that Williamsberg and so many other such historical representations, was contrived and remains contrived-not quite credible enough to alldw yourself to e absorbed into the state of mind that & ou imagine must be part of the ‘real thing’. But Niagara-on-the-Lake is the presenthonest to god. You exist as part of it, just as the town is incorporated into the present by the people who conduct their daily lives in it. Squint a little down the main thoroughfare and you see “Main Street” with all the trappings-neat little shops and people talking and sunning outside-perfect in the minds eye. Squint a little tighter and the view is transformed into all you might fantasize as the Victorian country townlace fronted tea shops, the Prince of Wales hotel. And then there is something of Mariposa to the town. Really working on the image now and getting off into some of the side streets-you are into colonial Canada-Fort George and Fort Mississauga sitting out on the edge of the Niagara River protecting Canada from the vicious raids of the United States in the War of 1812-and there is glory and honour in defence of the mother countryand all of those things you werejthinking about cold fact before you came are untrue. Fantasy reigns supreme. Open your eyes again. You have discovered a secret to existence in Niagara-how you mold its ‘reality’ to meet

the needs of your own battered life. With this facility you have entered the state of grace that is embalming-able to move around as part of an easy “perennial siesta”. Floating through such visions as the Oban Inn-sitting on the terrace sipping wine and watching sailboats return to the harbour-or a dozen or so antique shops-something must be found in one of these. Al] very close to perfect though not completely untouched-drinks at the ‘civilized hour’. Graceful living. Loyalist. This is a word which comes into conversation with many of the townsfolk. After the American Revolution, there was an influx into the country of thousands of United Empire Loyalists. Niagara was a natural stopping place. Now it serves the same purpose for the tradition-the daughters and sons of the UEL. But make no mistake; the tradition is white anglo saxon protestant-elements of Dutch, German and other loyalist groups do not appear. When you speak of ‘Loyal/St’ you refer to an historical tradition and view which is distinctly British-which is Niagara. Recent history; The town was considered to be dead by many people’s reckoning up until about teri years ago. As a town it had little to offer to compete with the larger centres on an industrial level, so it was on the verge of entering into what most small towns eventually face-complete assimilation into the modern environment-loss of identity as older structures are replaced with the efficient trappings of the corporate identity. It escaped all of that. Land and houses could be bought very reasonably. People from Toronto and other urbanized centres began to move into the town-catching back a piece of what had eluded them elsetihere. And the huge summer estates or smaller town houses drew more and more people-who have filled the town up and given it an ironic new raison d’etre-an upper and upper-middle class dormitory. So it exists because it is an anachronism, not in spite of that fact-a precious plaything to be held underneath a glass jar both by the outsiders who visit it and the townspeople who live in it: Fine china-very delicate and exquisiteand in a sense out of reach. You quickly become well aware that this fantasy is for a

select few to behold in it’s entirety, even though anyone can spend time in Niagara. A lot can be absorbed from the town, but the way of life has to be paid for-the houses, the manicured lawns, dinner parties after the theatre and so on. But then the elegance doesn’t come cheaply today in whatever form-and the shops in Niagara-on-the-Lake deal in Wedgewood, Waterford, Royal Doulton and on in this fashion. The trade here is in the vision’aryand it becomes a matter of grasping what fruits of it you can while supporting the filigree structure of this type of existence. Not opulence-graceful living. ’ “Shaw is much a matter of preserving the Shaw atmosphere in the town to maintain a feeling for Shaw”. With the Shaw festival intermingling of both past and present are illustrated most graphically. After making the above remark, Tom Burroughs, manager of ‘Shaw’ noted that you wouldn’t find the festival anywhere else-a large city or whatever. Niagara is the proper place for productions centred on Shaw and his contemporaries, it is an environment for them. So, in the past, contemporary plays haven’t received much attention; the people have come to see a theatre which blends with the town just as they have come to visit a town which blends with the theatre. And the town and the theatre operate in a peaceful symbiosis and grow to help establish the vision and establish each other. Similarly, other art and craft oriented endeavours found a spiritual place in Niagara. The Canadian Mime Theatre established a base in an old theatre and this year, Shaw has diversified somewhat and will stage productions in the old Courthouse Theatre-Leonard Cohen’s “Sisters of Mercy” starts in July. As for the festival itself, a new theatre has been built-so after more than ten years of a pyobationary existence, the festival is as much a fact as the town. Both are quite concrete and within the present. Niagara exists and will continue to exist as it is-a last vestige of an earlier Britain within Canada. Because in this time anachronism is much sought after. The queen came to Niagara yesterday. Fairy dust has finally been sprinkled over the town. Niagara must be complete now. ---dudley

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the profits and we get the bills.” . ’ The solution remains to fight - for independence; Doris Jantzi, a researcher for the Toronto Waffle group, made similar points to those of the previous speakers in the area of Canada’s manufacturing sector. “We are not suffering from a shortage of resources, we are suffering from deficiencies- inour government.” Jantzi stated “that if theloss of the secondary industries in Canada continues, the economic viability of our country is in danger. Our auto and electrical Second is ‘ ‘liberal reformism. industries are dying. Between 1966 Through a series of specific and 1972 there was a great loss of employment (Hamilton reforms, we clear up the gross and inadequacies London). One out. of 10 jobs in of the present American-controlled corporations system.” The first solution he rejected for were lost. “Canada, one of the world’s obvious reasons, and the second by most developed countries, is also a tried-and-failed analysis. The only lasting solut,ion, he the world’s leading importer of manufactured goods. said, is to establish complete For example, in1972, Canada. imported public ownership of natural gas $463.75 * worth of manufactured and oil companies. This would end Sunday evening,\ June 17, the discrimination aired, council voted goods per person.” profiteering, would allow Canada Federation of Students found itself to endorse the demands of the She went on to state “that in again discussing to make conscious social policies Board of Engroup and a statement of senCanada there is no industrial base, and would be environmentally tertainment’s discriminatory timent that had been prepared by sound. therefore the loss of our resqurces Shane Roberts, External Relations policy of charging off-campus “The task, then,” he said, “is to is critical. Resource industries are women a cheaper admission price Chairman. When members showed not conducive to steady -emcreate a socialist movement which than off-campus men. Science rep. some hesitancy in endorsing the will accomplish this goal.” - ployment. Furthermore, as more statements Telegdi said, “Since it Dave Assman initiated the debate resources are exported, Canada’s Another speaker, Gerald Godin, with a quote from the Ontario won’t be passed right away... .it editor of Quebec Press-a weekly prices for manufactured goods go Human Rights Code “No person, won’t do any harm, it would be left-wing paper-said that all up. By selling resources to the US, directly or indirectly, alone or with nice to pass it.” The motion was all we are doing is tightening the Canadian politicians have one another, by himself or by the in- passed. David Robertson asked to thing in common: they all want to American corporations be informed .as to what this terposition of another, shall leave monuments, behind them. stranglehold on our economy.” discriminate against any person or statement and endorsement were “Drapeau has his Olympic Howard Kaplan, an Ontario class or persons with respect to the going to be used for and was toldVillage; - Bourassa his James Bay Hydro worker and member of the accomodation, services or that such a question was out of Project.” Labour Council of Metropolitan facilities available in any place to order. Pissin’ in the wind? \ Godin stated that “before any -Toronto, CUPE 1000, supported Telegdi has been having trouble which the public is customarily study had been completed, before Jantzi’s arguments, and extended admitted, because of race, creed, with Senate committeees lately any relevant questions had been them into the area of Ontario colour. sex; marital status, and therefore brought forward- a answered, Bourassa’s gang had Hydro. nationality, ancestry or place of motion TV council. He asked that decided to build the James Bay The final speaker of the evening’ origin of such person or class .of the Senate committee meetings be hydro project. The cost, of course, was Jim Laxer, assistant poli sci persons or of any other person or run with a known set of rules and has ,+already- soared above the prof ‘at York University, and class of persons.” that the meetings be called at original estimate. A one-mile pilot author -of The Energy poker times when students can attend. Assman moved that since under project dam has started to sink,Game. the Human Rights Code the policy .- This notice would be sent to the and I hope Bourassa sinks with it.” The situation as Laxer sees it “is is illegal and since under Roberts Senate. Apparently Senate com‘ ‘Que bet , ’ ’ Godin pointed out, not simply one of providing Rules of Order council is bound to mittees which do have students on “does not need that much power. America with a- safe commercial with the uphold the laws of the land the them, in accordance Hydro Quebec seems to-be on a deal, but is providing the US with a section in the last weeks minutes University of Waterloo Act, do not power trip, it wants to convert politically secure deal.” The US’s opera te6 on any set . of ’ rules. had to be struck from the record. every drop of water in the province top priority is security. The small Theoretically the chairman of any In the last meeting, council had into electricity. If the power is to countries that are producing oil for endorsed the policy of the Board of committeee can call a meeting and be used as it is at present-to light the US may decide to change their if no one attends can still pretend Entertainment., terms of trade; they might want to up 60 miles of Laurentian highway that everyone was there. Also one Engineering rep. Paul Debrocky nationalize; or, if they went’ on and Math with lights 100 feet apart, so that week proxys can be invalid while rep. Phil Lanouette some fat cat in his Camaro can strike it would, cripple the US inthe next week they could be acattempted to table the discussion dustrial sector. drive 10 miles an hour faster at cepted. The motion protesting this until a lawyer could be consulted night-then I say bullshit.” As such, the only solution is but that motion was defeated. The practice was carried. Canada. Federal \energy minister The project will dislocate an The council is sending a letter to original motion was -passed. The has therefore entire Cree civilization of 5,000 Donald McDonald the Senate commending its stand only reaction from the executive. advertised in letters to US against the Board of Governors in people. “For what? Sothat we\can was a “It doesn’t matter” from government officials that we are sell energy to the United States the sabbatical issue. The Senate president Andrew Telegdi. Just and at the same time give away indeed a secure source. To quote: holds that one half pay is sufficient why it didn’t matter became clear “There would be many advantages more jobs.” for a sabbatical salary while the at the end of the meeting. He added that in Canada and arising from the US-Canada Board of Governors wants to raise pipeline route. We believe that it L Assman announced that Radio the rate to two thirds the original Quebec’s fight for freedom, “we Waterloo would _ begin \ legal run up against the same things all would enhance the energy security salary. The council supports the the time. No matter where we look of your country.. Canada has an proceedings against the Board of Senate in this matter. There was interest in the security of your Entertainment because of its it all fits, and where it doesn’t, it’s no discussion on the rationale because’we don’t know it does.” country .” l 1 discriminatory practices. behind sabbaticals.. What are the results? Chairman Art Ram was not Council called for a complete “The James Bay project is no different. A few months before the Laxer listed five points: disturbed. The meeting was adinventory report from the record journed before his disinterest store, and justification for the . project was announc’ed, Morgan s= l higher costs in ,fuelling our Guarantee Trust Company opened cars, our homes, our industries; could be questioned. salary they are presently paying a new office in Montreal. An l a loss of jobs. in Canadian As the room was clearing Ram John Jongerious. manufacturing ; explained to Assman that the American engineering firm, Chairman, Board of Bechtel-one’ of the world’s l dispossession of Canada’s policy had already been revoked Publications, Alex Stirling was largest-who learned their trade in cnative peoples ; by the Board of Entertainment. directed to look into the feasibility Vietnam, is a.warded the contract l ecological damage ; The reason according to Ram was of the Chevron providing free . 0 loss of national sovereignty. that the pubs were so popular the through Quebec ‘Hydra pressure. advertisement to any board “Quebec has to borrow money It is a heavy price to pay to in- price difference was no longer chairman that felt the situation from the US to build it. Everything crease the economic wealth of necessary. “Those letters in the merited it. begins to make sense. The America’s corporations. The Chevron did more for pubs than Robertson announced an uppresident of *Morgan Guarantee solution Laxer provided was for anything-lqok at all the free coming education conference to be Trust is the son of the head of Canada to: publicity.“, Math rep. Phil held on ca-mpus July 20, 21, and 22. Quebec Hydro. Morgan Guarantee l rejectthe faulty notion that we Lanouette explained further, Delegates will be attending from Trust is the agent through which benefit from energy exports to the “Everyone wanted to see what it across the province. Quebec borrows money from us; was like to go to a sexist pub.” An appeal for money from the l use our resources to .expand Rockefeller; Rockefeller owns Assman asked Ram why he did Legal Defense Fund for the people Morgan Guarantee Trust. It Canadian industrial jobs; not inform council as to the change charged last winter at the collects half a billion dollars as l stop the McKenzie Valley in policy and Ram commented, “I Univers,ity of Toronto in conbroker. A. US firm gets the con- pipeline and related export was laughing too hard.” So. nection with the workers protest of tract for two and a half billion projects; meanwhile council is misinlayoffs, was referred to Roberts o end the southward drain of our formed. dollars. The circle is complete. for consideration. “American money finances an conventional petroleum reserves. Council also discussed the The next council meeting has not American project in Canada ~‘To end the sellout it is possibility of endorsing the‘ 85 per I been scheduled but whenever (which Canada pays for) to necessary to build a mould for an cent Canadian _ quota campaign. there is anything worth discussing independent socialist Canada.” * After many questions provide energy for American had ‘been there will be another get - together. _ -david robertson answered and companies in Canada.. .the US gets fears of -Susan johnson b

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Economy being / < --* . given tci U.S. An -NDP legislator from Saskatchewan and a radical Quebec editor urged an. audience of 400 to work toward an independent socialist Canadian economy at a conference on “Public Ownership of Canada’s Oil and Gas” held at OISE in Toronto Tuesday. Mel Watkins, from the political economics department at U of T, was supposed to be the key speaker, but had to cancel due to illness resulting from a recent extensive tour of the Canadian Arctic. The-meeting was chaired by Bruce Kidd. John Richards, NDP (Waffle) MLA from the Saskatoon university constituency, started off the evening with a talk on the American oil industry in Canada. He presented a brief history of the environmental movement from the “Ban the Bomb” era to the present crisis. He urged that the present crisis must not suffer the same “once-over-lightly’: fate of previous efforts. Issues cannot be responded to as isolated entities, but “must be integrated into a broad socialist program for change.” Richards/ then attempted to provide an analysis of the recent price increases. The situation,’ he said, is the result of the oil industry’s “arrogance of power.” Over the past six months, Im-J perial Oil Company has increased the cost of a barrel of oil (35-gallon barrel) by 20 percent. The justification offered by a senior representative of the company is that “the -petroleum industry is still not covering its costs.” The facts, however, seem to indicate otherwise. Four example, he said, the Im-perial company in 1972 had a profit of $152,000,000. “In fact, over the last year, all the major oil companies have had increased profits. “In 1972, it cost $1.50 to produce a barrel-of oil, including the cost of drilling, bringing the oil to the surface, paying the royalties and ‘also for exploration presently being undertaken. The same barrel sells for $2.75, leaving a profit of- $1.25 per barrel.” Furthermore, he claimed, oil companies in Saskatchewan’ are, making a I+cents-per-gallon profit from gasoline. The problem, he said, is not simply the high level of profits, but the result of the total irrationality of corporate capitalism. The promotional gimmicks : dishes, silverware, coins, hockey player cards, etc., twice as many service stations as are required. The system of serfdom that exists between the station managers and the companythere- is about a 25 percent annual turnover of station managers. And the fact that decisions made in a corporate board office in Toronto can have serious repercussions in a Saskatchewan town all lead to the same conclusion: something has to be done, Richards proposed three possible solutions, “only one of which is acceptable.” First is “honest ,colonialism. We accept the fact that we are a colony and wait around for some crumbs.” ,

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Intramurals: playoffs are here! It’s Playoff Time Again: With the tension of the summer leagues climaxing this week, the playoffs should prove relaxing to everybody. Softball

Sixteen teams will advance to the playoffs, the top four teams in each league and the next four best records. Best records are determined first by total points and if that doesn’t succeed then by net differences of the teams tied with the higher plus getting in. The top 16 teams will be seeded 1-16 and play a totally crossover structure, eg. 1-16, 2-15 and so on. The preliminary round (7-inning game) will be played on Thursday, July 5, on normal diamonds and similar times as league play. The quarter final round will be played, Tuesday, July 10, again a 7-inning game. Semi final play starts Thursday July 12 with g-inning games and the overall championship for the Engineering Memorial Trophy will be held Tuesday, July 17. All playoff teams will be contacted by the convener, Rand Stevenson. (884-3851)) by Wednesday July 4th. League standings as of June 25 are : League 1 TEAM Team Cracker Kin. 4A Kinnucks Seven Words Math Sot South Seven South Eight South 4 East 5&6

Gp W L T Tp

770014 7 6 10 12 6 5 10 10 7340 6 7340 6 6240 4 7’1250 4 7160 2 Out of league

League 2 TEAM Upper Engineering Bag biters 4A Electrical Co-op Residences Dumont Ducks 2B Mechanical Stonehands Masterbatters

GPW LTlP 550010 6 5 10 10 6 5 10 10 6321 7 7340 6 4121 3 5140 2 5050 0

League3 TEAM Jocks & Socks Civil Grads Dirty Socks 4A Civil Grad Chemistry Chem Eng 2B Mudville Nine Ballbabies Zon kers

GPW LTTP 6 5 10 10 5410 8 7430 8 5311 7 6330 6 6330 6 72415 6240 4 6060 0

Soccer ‘Soccer

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sixth, (Series D) fourth vs fifth. On July 4, Col. 1, the first two series will be played, and on July 5 the remaining two, on Col. 4. The winners advance to the semis on July 9 with-the winner of Series A vs the winner of Series C and the winner of Series B vs the winner of Series D. The championship for j the MacKay Bowl Trophy will be held on Wednesday July 11th starting around 5 p.m. on lot 1. For complete playoff details contact Glen Soares at 884-7618. Standings as of Tues. June 26, 1973 : TEAM Systems United Professionals CDN Connection Math Sockets 73A Civil Fighting Saints Crusaders A.C. Math United Eng Grads South 7 & 8

‘I-Aside

Touch

GPWLTTP 750212 650111 7 4 12 6312 7322 6213 6123 6150 6051 7070

10 8 8 7 5 2 1 0

Fottball

Will the B’s sock Math Sot for a bye into the playoffs? This is the big 64-cent question of the year. Since the top two teams get a bye into the Semis, the B’s must upset MathSoc (previously undefeated> to create a three-way tie for 1st. If such is the case, then one must look at the net difference for and against equal games played to decide. As of June 26, MathSoc would record a plus 111, the B’s a plus 87 and the Dons a plus 44. Thus the B’s and MathSoc would get byes. This can only happen if Math gets sacked by the B’s. Playoffs will begin Wed., July 4 on Col. 4 with third vs sixth (Series

A) and fourth vs fifth (Series B). On monday, July 9, first will play winner of Series A, second will play winner of Series B. Championship game will be held Wed., July 11 on COI. 4. Teams are asked to contact Wally Delahey for exact times and who plays whom on Tuesday afternoon, July 3. S,tandings as of June 26, 1973:

contact Wally Delahey Tuesday afternoon at ext. 3151. Ball hockey standings as of June 26, are: League A TEAM Roadrunners Math 720 Bearded Clams Grads I Eight Ballers

GP W L T TP 650111 7340 6 6231 5 6240 4 6060 0

TEAM Math Society Village Dons B’s Blunt Endi Co-op Math Grads Renison South 7

League B TEAM F Troop Team 10 T Ntics Ball Hawkers Chem Engine

GP W L TTP 7 6 10 12 75 1111 6321 7 7232 6 6150 0

Baller’s

GP W LTP 66012 6 5 1 10 6 5 1 10 633 6 725 4 725 4 624 4 606 0

Win

Holy

War

Monday night saw the B’s humiliate the Church-supported Renison squad 44-6. “Are you guys ready to be wiped?” was the Renison challenge as they took the field. Responding in typical fashion to this insult the B’s proceeded to build a 44-O lead before giving Renison a gift touchdown to salve their egos. All B’s were up for the game, in particular their tight end, “Old Gutsy”, their centre who made four big key receptions, and a defensive stalwart who scored eight points while playing on the STOP squad. Several B’s will be in the CFL all star game on Wednesday and consequently MathSoc may have an outside chance of scoring. However, this will still be the game of the week and will decide first place. The B’s have been there before and feel that they will have little opposition from the “Pink Tie” crowd of MathSoc. Ball Hockey

Eight teams, the top four from each league advance to the playdowns on a crossover basis. On Wednesday, July 4, in quarterfinal play, series 1, 1st in league A vs 4th in league B; series 2, 2nd in league A vs 3rd in league B; series 3, 3rd in league A vs 2nd in league B; series 4, 4th in league A vs 1st in league B. Semi-finals will be held at Seagrams on Wednesday July 9, with the winner of Series 1 vs winner of Series 3 and winner of Series 2 vs winner of Series 4. The championship game will be held on Wednesday, July 11 between the winners of the two semifinalists. For exact information about times and who plays who, please

Basketball

With only 9 games remaining in the schedule, a battle is shaping up league B. Since only four teams advance to the playdowns, there are still six teams eligible to advance. Playoffs start with quarterfinal play on Monday, July 9th: Series 1: 1st in League A vs 4th in League B; Series 2: 2nd in League A vs 3rd in League B ; Series3: 3rd in .League A vs 2nd in League B; Series 4: 4th in League A vs 1st in League

of Series 3, at 9: 15-10:30; winner of Series 2 vs winner of Series 4. Both the semi-finals and finals will be main court games. Championship game will be held on Monday, July 16, at 8 p.m. in the main gym. Presentatibn of the Condon Cup will be made to overall winner. Standings as of June 26: League A TEAM Village Dons Co-op Math-Vets Grads _ St. Jeromes

GPW LTTP 550010 5401 9 5230‘4 5131 3

League B TEAM Co-op fiath-Rookies Math Society Rammers South 7 Lower Eng Dribblebabies

GPW LTTP 6 5 10 10 7421 9 7331 7 6330 6 6330 6 7160 2

For

complete

details

Ballers

A

week

Suffrajocks

Ellen

Doig were picking off flies and long hits. Ada Steele on first base was in great form despite a glycogen relapse in the 7th. And at bat, the Suffrajocks let loose many a hit. Grace Liddell put away two homers on Baller boners and Barb Wilson, between pitching and short stopping managed some good hits. Any Baller fans \vho couldn’t make it out to the game didn”t miss a thing. The only decent plal Ballers had was when **Hot Hands Hogan” stopped a line drive single handedly and didn”t if.aste an) time getting rid of it. As “Slim Pickins” disappeared into the sunset after missing an overthrow, Ballers kne\i. it was all over. Dot Mannion despera tel) drove in two runs in the bottom of the 9th but Suffrajocks had the game in the bag. Looks like 1.4 is picking up steam and 2B can’t control it’s balls so a great playoff is shaping up. And speaking of shaping up, the Wonders were out of action this week after awing the fans the previous Monday. I guess all that running was too much for them. Last Monday night was to be the big game between the Waterloo Wonders and the 2B Ballers, but 2B was left wondering as no one else showed up. Those that attended threw a few balls around and gave like to thank UP. We would “Gladys” for carrying out the equipment and queen of tarts Bain for her undying support for the Ballers and beer. League standings to date are as follows : Bailers Wonders Suffrajocks

W 3 1 1

LTP 1 6 2 2 2 2

The final game of the schedule will be played Monday, July 9th at 6:45. Wonders will be facing Suffrajocks the final time.

on times,

courts and who plays who, please Contact Paul Sperl at 884-4615. get whipped ago Monday night, kept a close tab on the

Ballers and defeated them “gracefully” in a full team effort 15-U. A strong outfield led by Mary

Coach’s job on the line Reaching deep into their farm system, the Dribblebabies plucked bonus boy Harold Reese from the Kansas Dodges and threw him into the starting role against South 8. Reese proceeded to direct the suddenly potent Dribblebabies offence to a 32-27 victory, scoring 15 points himself and tricking the Southerners into numerous threesecond violations along the way, and sparking the first evidence of that tight zone defence and clutch shooting which propelled the Chevronards into the playoff’s last season. The following monday, unfortunately, the Dribblers plane was delayed by a freak snow storm over New Orleans and their tired bodies were no match for the strong South 7 squad. As of deadline night, the future of the Dribblers coach George “Triple Pump” Kaufman appeared to hang on the outcome of their final game with Math Sot. Speculation raged that he could, would, would not, or could not spark his team to an upset victory which would salvage some of the Dribblers’ pride.

on

Wednesday evening. Although those results are not included in most teams can the standings, speculate on the playoff structure. The top 8 teams advance to the playoffs. Quarter-finals ‘will be (Series A ) first vs eighth, (Series B) second vs seventh, (Series C) third vs

B.

Thursday July 12-Semi-finals 89:15. Winner of Series 1 vs Winner

june 29, 1973

A strike?

A foul? A home

run? Guess we’ll

never

know,

but waltch

the build-up


friday,

/ the chevron

june 29,1973

5

THESECONDPACIFIC-

CONFERENCEGAMES The first event of the ,Pacific Conference Games got started a little behmd schedule on wednesday june 27, but this did not stop the athletes from setting seven Games records plus many national records for the individual countries involved. The biggest thrill of the evening would be the last hundred yards of the men’s 5000 metres. Going

into the final lap of the Dick Quax, of New Zealand, began to pull away from Grant McLaren of Canada. Quax had a lead of about fifteen yards on McLaren with about 200 yards remaining in the race. Based on previous performances one iwould have thought Quax would finish the race in front of McLaren. With a hundred yards to go, McLaren beganto reduce Quax’s lead. With ‘fifteen yards to the finish line McLaren passed Quax and crossed the finish line ahead of Quax setting a Canadian and Games redord of thirteen minutes thirty eight and four tens seconds. 5000 metres

.

Canadjan athletes finished in the top two positions in the women’s discus. Carol Martin, who has placed in the top three in every major international track and field competition in which Canada competes, with the exception of the Olympics, won the women’s competition and Joan Pavelich placed second. The men’s high jump finished with three athletes tied for third place-Claude Ferragne (Can 1,.

-Lawrie: Peckham (Aust 1 and Hidihoki Tomizawa (Japan) all cleared six feet ten and a quarter inches. The event was won by Jonh Hawks, a student at UBC, with a jump of seven ‘feet one and three quarter inches, which was good enough to set a new Games record. The most disappointing part of the evening, for Canadians at least, was the defeat of Glenda Reiser in the 1500 metres by Francie Larrieu of the United States. Larrieu spent .most of the

race running just behind Reiser waiting for keiser to make her move, and when she did Larrieu continued to follow close behind. With about 100 yards to go in the race Larrieu passed Reiser and continued to increase her lead over Reiser to the finish line. Larrieu’s ’ time of four minutes thirteen and four tens seconds was a new Games record. Thelma Wright, of the Canadian team finished third. Two athletes from Australia set a new Games record of 52.9 Wa)ker (USA) in, the shot put seconds in the women’s 400 (62'5.64"). metres ; Judith Canty won the Other Canadians placing in the event, while Charlene Rendina top three were : Dave Jarvis, third placed second. The other Games in the 400 metre hurdles; Joyce records were set by Cary FeldSadowick, third in the women!s 400 mann (USA) in the javelin metres; Wendy Taylor, third in the (270’8”). Martha Watson (USA) in women’s 100 metre hurdles; and the long jump (20’10.75”) and Sam Bruce Pirnie, second in the shot

put. At the end of the first night of a two night competition, the United States was in first place, Australia second, Canada third, New Zea- . land fourth and Japan in fifth place. The positions should be final placings when this team competition has been completed.


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* Person needed to manage federation snacks-duties include ,ordering of kaisers, donuts and uncola ; hiring of part-time staff;. responsibility for daily dperation. Lots of , , room for personal incentive. Reply in writing to: .I John Jongerius of-. Board of Co-operative Services . .. ,- -i .: :. ._’ - Chairman Federation of Students Campus Centre

Saturday _ Sunday .

l-:00 p.m. - 5 ,:OOp.m; 6:OOp.m. - lO:Obp.ti.

Reference.

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$1’000 . per week for Administrative

Fed. Snacks features: ‘Government

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EDUCARE PRESCHOOL CENTRE CTD.

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HOURS: 8 AM-5:30

PM _

in pre-school departments

VaCanCieS-ahopen

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EduCare Preschool Centre Ltd. 295 Dale Crescent, W&erloo.

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CAMP UNDER CANVAS: July 16-July 27, a special tenting residence camp for girls aged 10-14. including hiking, swimming, outdoor cooking, nature lore, crafts, boating. I<_ .Write or call: K-W YWCA’ (744-6507) ’ : 84 Frederick Street Kitchener, Ontario .* _ .-c--

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ART EXHIBITION- Permanent Collection

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through July and August ,jIKAWArt Gallery / ’ 43-Betiton St., Kitchener

. ’-

COMPANV

Featuring Ch<rysler Prodiicts and Other Fine Cars

Woakend

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/

,I l /

friday,

juk

29, 1973

I

.

-\.

3’

I

the chevron

7

._,

I

\

\

synthetii:. additives erifich the modein diet. * . /

’ \

by David Cubberley _’T Next time you’re at the grocery store shopping and you make/it to the breakfast foods section, let your eyes cometo rest on a jar of Tang; Tang is an “instant breakfast drink” with added vitamins that claims to be “natural’tasting” and, if we are to believe the men who market it, is better than ordinary orange juice. Now note the following list of ingredients: sugar, citric acid (for tartness), natural flavor gum arabic (vegetable gum for body), monosodium phosphate and potassium. citrate (regulate tartness), ’ calcium phosphate (prevents caking)‘, Vitamin C, cellulose gum, hydrogenated coconut oil, artificial flavour, artificial, colour, Vitamin A and butylated hydroxyanisole. If we delete the three major nutritivesfrom our breakfast compound (one of which is a sugar, a dubious nutritive in \ the modern diet, and two of which are synthetic vitamips) we are left with ten other substances integral to the mixture but with n6 basic nutritional value. These mysterious items, c once correctly referred to as “chemical additives” but now, due to the food industry’s increasing sensitivity to “public opinion” known as “food additives”, are part of an evergrowing list of chemicals sanctioned for blanket or partially regulated use within the North American diet: While no one has isolated the exact figure on the number . ‘. of chemical additives now in us4 it-is clear that there are upwards of 3,000 thatare commonly used, less than 10 ‘. percent of- which have any nutritional value at all. In 1965

Americans consumed 661 million potmds of them in every conceivable form, for- the most part without knowing it; these additives wholesaled for about $285 million and their turnover meant that the notorious “average individual” processed about 3 pounds of them. By 1974 it is estimated that the quantity of these chemicals in our food%ilI have soared to’one billion pounds per annum. What function do non-nutritive additives serve? Why are they in our food and where do they come from? What type of effect can they be expected to have! on the human body? These are natural questions, the kind that spring quickly to mind if:one does any amount of label reading in the modem supermarket. Unfortunately the answers to them are as veiled by our ignorance of the modem food industry and the inner workings of our own bodies, as the chemical additives’ in literally every substance we now eat are shielded by the lack ofstringent labelling regulations. It was in response to this type of widespread’ ignorance (a lack of knowledge which they feel government and the food industry have actively sponsored), that ’ Gene ~l@=ine and Judith Van Allen researched- and wrote their excellent book Food Pcillution:

The

Violation

of Our

Inner

Ecology.

Worrying over the gathering, processing and cooking of his food is certainly not the forte of twentieth century North American. man. A product of his civilization, ‘he has conveniently come to believe (as the advertisers have worked so diligently to persuade him), that if it can be pre-made, premixed and precooked and need only be dropped in boiling hot water in order to have it taste exactly like granny’s, it’s ‘,

better. It’s never like granny’s and it’s never better; we trade ease for quality every time. More trusting and lazy than vigilant, we have allowed our diet, our essential lifeline, to fall entirely under the control of massive corporations who specialize in making more from less ,for largers profits; meanwhile they spend revenues on advertising which identifies their latest mutilated product as the. hallmark of scientific progress, thus ..pitching to a prejudice which lies at the core of our civilization. Food Pollution begins to deal with these and other myths which influence our lives by taking a long, sober look at the facts surrounding the food industry and its contemporary reliance on additives. The danger of additives is often pooh-poohed from the hat they are mainly utilized in the manufacture of synthetic or “‘unnatural” compounds-like Tang-and can easily be avoided by sticking to a “good healthy diet”. It’s definitely the case that there are more and more junk compoundslike snacks, toppings, whips and dips-on the market all the time and that food scientists and their corporate keepers want to see “our” diet evolve more and more in that direction because it’s so profitable marketing waste. What isn’t true or possible is the revered ideal of a “good, healthy diet”. Marine and Van Allen go to great lengths to illustrate and document the degree to which chemicals-now pervade every facet of our daily fare-in many cases as much or ,more in our staple goods as in Corn Chips or Dream Whip. continued

- oh follotiing

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8 the

friday,

chevron

june

c

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7

Take an average cafeteria lunch as a minor -example. You’re health conscious let’s say, perhaps a little overweight, so you pick your foods carefully: a salad with french dressing, chicken noodle soup, an orange, a glass of milk and for dessert some yoghurt. A nice innocuous lunch-but healthy. Here’s what else you may have purchased: most vegetables in the salad will donate residues of whatever pesticides were administered during their lifetime; if the salad contains any bottled components like pickles or olives you’ll probably ingest some preservative (eg. benzoic acid), some’acidulant (eg. sodium acetate), perhaps a firming agent (eg. alum or magnesium chloride) and, if the olives were black some of the ferrous gluconate which gives them that. nice uniform colour; the salad dressing can contain surfactants or emulsifiers like stearyl monoglyceride citrate (to keep it smooth), monosodium glutamate, a stabilizer like carboxymethylcellulose and a colouring agent like beta carotene; the soup is assuredly a potpourri of chemical delights, the exact formula for which will depend a lot on where the chickens came from and how many drugs they were fed during their lives, the process whereby the noodles came into being and whatever flavour additives and preservatives the host company normally uses; if the orange came from the US, especially Florida or Texas, it’s most likely been put through a dye bath to make it of uniform colour with its siblings (and to hide either its over- or under-ripeness), as well as -perhaps having been polished with mineral oil or carnauba wax to give its cover some sheen; the milk we’ll leave with the normal dose of DDT; if the yoghurt was strawberry flavoured, it probably contained some methyl cinnamate or aliphatic aldehyde to achieve its “natural flavour”. A minor example. If we’d eaten any bread, or been tempted by the pie section, or maybe had a hot lunch with gravy and tinned vegetables we might easily have filled a column of print enumerating the unadvertised additives involved. The Mad Scientists, as Marine and Van Allen prefer to calI them, are everywhere; while most additives are a relatively recent development these “food technicians” have quickly developed an expansive inventory of uses for them: “...dyes, bleaches emulsifiers, antioxidants, flavours, buffers, noxious sprays, preservatives, acidifiers, alkallizers, fsorants, moisteners, drying agents, gases, extenders, thickeners, disinfectants, defoliants, fungicides, neutralizers, sweeteners, anticaking and antifoaming agents, conditioners, curers, hydrolizers, hydrogenators, maturers, fortifiers, and many others.” While some may find this list a fitting paean to the wonders of modern science, others may be puzzled as to the reasons for its existence. No matter what its use-whether it makes a poorer quality and smaller volume of the base ingredient go much further (like MSG in baby foods); whether it covers the taste of rotten foods so that the public will find the taste acceptable or smooths out moldy and inferior foods into a new consistency (like sodium hexametaphosphate in process cheese); or even if it works to give chicken flesh and egg yolks a deeper yellow colour (like dried algae meal, tagetes meal and tagetes extract) because our mode of production has rendered them anemic and depleted-they are only included because they serve to increase the ,food manufacturer’s profit margin. As Marine and Van Allen point out, the food industry araes that these new preparations and new processing techniques are a response to consumer-that’s you and I -demand, science and industry serving us together. While we may have been taught to expect our butter to be of uniform colour (instead of varying with the seasons as it would if left alone), it takes a great stretch of the imagination to believe that “we” demanded it be done, or that it be flavoured, or washed to increase its storage life, or have diacetyl added for aromatic purposes. One of the most common ways of sidestepping controversy concerning diet and those pesky littlr

additives is to glibly point to the “accepted statistics” concerning American health, a trick the food companies may have learned from the government or the American Medical Association. This argument hinges on something known as “life expectancy”, a notion whereby the “average American” can expect to live for 70.1 years, one of the higher ‘ ‘averages” in the world. However the increase in this figure for America can be accounted for almost entirely in terms of the decrease in levels of infant mortality rather than any increase or extension of old age. As Food Pollution notes “life expectancy” is one of those willfully misused concepts which takes no account of the quality of life involved-even if reality has it that from age 40 on an increasing percentage of the population will only be kept alive by constant nursing and restricted movement, or by radiation treatments, it is taken to mean the same thing as living healthfully, so far as statistics are concerned. Moreover while infant mortality, maternal deaths and deaths due to infectious diseases have declined markedly in the face of modern medicine, degenerative diseases (the ones that departments of health would have us believe are synonymous with old age) are increasing dramaticahy. In 1967 heart disease, cancer, arteriosclerosis and vascular lesions accounted for 68.7 percent of all deaths in the US. Comparative figures for cancer are intriguing: in 1900 it claimed 64 persons per 100,000 population; by 1940 it had leapt to 147 persons per 100,000; while by 1967 it had jumped to 364.5 per 100,000. The correspondence between the curve represented by our continued infatuation with additives and that marked out by the rise in incidence of cancer is frightening. And while no conclusive link has been made between them (given the impoverished condition of our research into the subject), government officials and businessmen throughout the US seem to harbour a horror of admitting that there may be any connection at all. Chemicals are big business these days, an integral part of the working of US industry. For many man-moth corporations they are an immensely profitable way of marketing otherwise unuseable byproducts (like the popular coal tar dies). For many other they are in the nature of a boon, a relatively inexpensive (compared to the cost of producing high quality food) compound which guarantees a geometric return on capital outlay by stretching enormously the marketed product. Food Pollution points out that much of the use made of additives is as a replacement for, or cover for, nutrients lost during mass production. Mass processing, the high point of modern industry, makes its money by handling huge quantities -of materials, shunting them through series of simplified stages until the end product is achieved. The loss of a few vitamins and minerals along the way-is hailed as a small price to pay for such productivity; the feat of replacing a few of them, along with a lot of other devices to increase productivity, is touted as one of the marvels of modern science. This beggared productivity is encouraged inasmuch as it is synonymous with profit, a pursuit so bewitching that even the most commonplace beliefs-such as the necessity for good eats-have been sacrificed to it. The willingness to use chemicals to increase profits goes far beyond food processing today, stretching its tentacles down into agricultural production. While many must by now be aware of our still-increasing reliance on chemical pesticides with their attendant residues, there is little public knowledge about the burgeoning use of drugs in the raising of animals. More than half the antibiotics used in the US today are consumed on farms. And as Agribusiness remakes the old fashioned farm in the image of the mass production line, as outfits like Montford in Denver push this phenomenon until they fatten “600,000 cattle every year on just 800 acres of land”, with better than 400 head of cattle cluttering each acre of land (in pens cleaned only three or four times a year) so the animals’ fragile existences are more completely controlled through the administration of drugs. When cattle first arrive they’re given up to 1,000 mg. of streptomycin and

Fit for a heifi fit for a hum; penicillin per day with their grains (to ward off “shipping fever”); in order that they’ll fatten at the profitable rate of 3 pounds per day, pellets of diethylstilbestrol (DES), “a female hormone which relaxes their muscles and loads them with moisture and fat”, are injected in their ears; female heifers chew melengestrol acetate, a hormone which curbs their sex drive, every day; problems like liver abscesses, developed through excessive eating, are dispensed with by flushing oxytetrticycline through the beast. Heavy doses of the same are administered during the last few days of fattening, a little shot of streptomycin is given before heading for the slaughterhouse and just before the kill a hypodermic of “papaya juice enzyme” is inj e&d to tenderize the meat when it is cooked. The only problem with all of this is that residues show up increasingly frequently in the meat we eat, illegal quantities of antibiotics which could easily be causing damage to our systems. the insanity of playing with Unfortunately, chemicals in our food supply does not end here, as an examination of any of our staple goods will show; to

illustrate we’ll use brace selected in Food Pollutic what the pre-modern wor starchy white pap that m eat today ends with the n steel rolling mill in the impetus whereby the “7 regarding flour could be Steel mills make it possit bran and wheat germ fr nu tri tionless endosperm ( flour. Sadly, rather then mills used to, steel mil! releasing valuable oils which, if stored for any rancid. To deal with this, and to make it ever wl invented ’ ‘bleaching’ ’ , -I whatever nutrition remai Up to the time when r most common bleaching E trichloride), eventually E “running fits in dogs”. S


-. -

phlc by Don Ballanger

r9 /nb

L I

I

3ne of the examples c&e similarity between new as bread and the of us unquestioningly . The invention of the 1800’s provided the 3 is right” prejudice ed to a new extreme. ) separate entirely the the white, essentially If which we make our 1 flour the way stone pulverize” the wheat bughout the product gth of time, become ;e the flour artificially the Mad Scientists :ess- that obliterates of us were born, the ; was Agene (nitrogen d because it caused ~ that time regulatory

\

have developed seven categories of agencies chemicals permissible as bleaching agents including i nitrogen oxides, acetone peroxides, azodicarbonamidei chalkin-combination with other agents and basic chlorine compounds. Up to this point in the operation processing techniques have eliminated “all the Vitamin B, the Vitamin E, the minerals (including iron), the essential fatty acids, andequally essential amino acids like methionine. “. And that simply gets us to the silky fine powder of which American “homemakers” are reportedly so proud. To get to br&d we would have, to wade through three. lengthy lists of additives: “All in all there are 93 different ingredients which you can get in a ham sandwich even if somebody forgets the ham, none of which have to be listed on the bread label. Almost none of them have any nutrient value whatever.” You don’t avoid this deluge of ‘chemicals by picking up brown bread, or bread made from whole wheat flour either; bleaching agents are still allowed in the manufacture of whole wheat flour and the entire ‘list of additives is permissible as well. The additives are there because the process has depleted the substance and, most importantly, because they stretch, preserve and make visually presentable the depleted substance ‘in order to _maximize the manufacturer’s profits. Perhaps it’s naivete, perhaps a belief that-at some point reason will prevail but we tend to-assume that the increase of additives must be overseen by some publicly ,controlled regulatory agency; that scientific studies are constantly being undertaken to determine the exact effects of chemical additives and that only on evidence from these. tests are \addi tives sane tioned ; that even if nutritively useless, additives are at least neutral. Its’ these and other mythswhich encourage most of us to keep the truth about our diet at a manageable-distance. _ Controlling the food industry is a lot like the little people trying to manage Gulliver, without benefit of his initial slumber. The food industry is a $125 billion-dollar-a-year operation, a confabulation of monolithic corporations with a powerful political lobby. Regulating this morass is the job of the Food and ‘Drug Administration (FDA), an agency with 4,250 employees and a toti budget of $72 million (as of 1970). This ‘body is charged .with regulating the jungle of confused laws surrounding food, as well as setting food processing standards and i,mtiating scientific studies to determine the effects of food atitives. Given the enorrnity of the task and the poverty cbf resources, situations like a staff of two part-time employees working to enforce the “Fair Packaging and Labelling Act of 1965”, (the one that sets out what must appear on the label) are most common. This is a toothless act, filled with loopholes and not even moving towards full ingredient listing, yet with two enforcers there is no hope that even it will be observed. _In .practice the FDA has historically interpreted its role as that of a public relations agency for the food firms, little more than a buffer between corporation and public which activates each time some excess finds its way into the press. The sullied history of the FDA is well documented in a superb but little book entitled The Chemical Feast; this book, a product of a<Ralph Nader study group published by the Centre for Responsive Law, chronicles the friendship between the agency and the food firms from its inception. Its. results, summarized and updated in Food Pollution, systematically destroy’any residual hope that the upsurge of chemical additives has been carefully regulated from the be-&rig. Some will-counter that regulation does occur and point to the removal of cyclamates as hope for the future. Cyclamates are non-nutritive sweeteners, compounds like Sucaryl Sodium designed ostensibly for use by diabetics but quickly expanded by the ad men into a bane for our almost universal obesity. The first cyclamate received FDA approval in 1950 and was marketed by Abbot Laboratories, despite test results showing “a highly suspicious frequency not to mention some “rare of lung tumours”, ovarian, kidney, skin, or uterine tumours” which appeared in a quickie test sponsored by the FDA.

,* That was in 1950. The National Academy of Sciences-National Research Council’s Food Nutrition Board warned the FDA about-possible’ harmful effects from cyclamates in 1954, 1955, 1962 and 1968. Despite these indicators, cyclamates were still granted full stature as a available food additive on ‘thei FDA’s newly created Generally Rewgnized as Safe (GRAS) list. Due to this listihg the cyclamates underwent widespread changes in useage, becoming prominent in everything from cured ham to Kool-Aid; use was virtually unrestricted, labelling almost entirely unrequired and the cyclamates made their way into better than 75 per cent of American homes. - By 1966 tests run in Japan ind&ated that in about a third of the population ingested cyclamates converted to cyclohexylamine (CHA), a chemical so dangerous that even the FDA has stringently restricted its use in food processing. The direct dosage derived from one package of Kool-Aid was 320- times that considered permissible for CHA. Moreover in 1968 Dr. Jacqueline Verrett, an FDA biochemist,, reported that in _ a study in which cyclamates were injected into chicken eggs it was found that “calcium cyclamate, cytilohexylamine, and dicyclohexylamine are specific teratogens, having the ability to produce phocomelia and similar defects in the embryos.” Teratogenic effects, of which.phocomelia is one, are gross deformities such as misplaced, reversed or mangled appendages. Further studies of CHA completed that year by FDA scientist Marvin Legator showed conclusively that the substance could cause chromosome damage in both animals and humans. The FDA ignored its own sources entirely and allowed the-cyclamates to remain on GRAS listing. When cyclamates were eventually bannedin 1969, the minister in charge based his decision on a single experiment which resulted in’an unusual number of bladder cancers in rats. Not only was the gentleman reluctant to ban cyclamates, but subsequently the ministry allowed industries using cyclamates a fulI year to rid themselves (into our stomachs, of course) of their goods, so as to minimize financial losses. There was no public education campaign, no .explanation as to why documented studies had been ignored for 20 years, and no attempt in any way to alter the practices which had permitted a proven ear&nogen and teratogen to be ingested publicly for so long. \ Cyclamates are one small instance; they were acted upon only ,because some of the knowledge about their properties was leaked by scientists with integrity’and, following fast on the heels of the thalidomideaffair, a major sc&ndal was th&tened: ‘That’s a freak occurrence and we still have to ,deal with the more than,3,000 additives in quantities and combinations of which we can have no knowledge given current labelling-- practices. Recently the Minister of Health and Welfare for Canada, Marc Lalonde, suggested to the Canadian Dietetic Association that due to the sheer variety of foodstuffs available “only the most traditional and strong-willed woman wouId be capable of controlling the eating habits of her household and of knowing what everybody was eating.” He’s wrong and ‘he’s lying. No one today knows what it is we’re getting; they don‘t have to tell us it’s in there and until we make it law you can bet they won’t volunteer the information. It isn’t in their interest. Not only does the consumer not know what he’s getting, but no one knows what it’s gOihg to do to him. Given the nature of food regulations, the onus for proof of product toxicity lies with the regulatory agency. Corporations do- t&t,. but usually only enough to get their product ~GRAS listing. The burden for initiating comprehensive testing of the type which would fill in our knowledge of the chemical in question lies with the public agency, the one with inadequate funds that’Food Pollution has shown can’t be trusted. The way things now work this group tests already marketed khemicals which it finds suspect, items which we may have been processing through our insides for years without question. The variety and complexity on which our diet is based means a continuous dousing of our bodies ,

:-

with a chemical bath of ever-new components. Those who would discuss this situation, who, would-like the autfiors of Food Pollution~-+aise question about the “Totality of - toxicity”, the gross aggregate of poisons to which we are daily subjected, run head on into an industry-generated walI . of pseudo-scientific propaganda about “safe levels” and “acceptable doses” of poisonous substances. These phrases, invented when the industry was first . ’ refused permission to market one of its pet substances, are premised in the belief that there is some sort of minimum level beneath which ingestion of an agent, be it toxic, carcinogenic, what-have-you, is safe; these “concepts”, based on the fallacy that there can ever be a “safe level” of a toxic substance, serve to hide the fact that no one has any idea what the compounds we absorb will do to us in combination. One of the I things that cancer research has established thus far is that substances that are safe when taken individually can become exceptional carcinogens in combination. In order to know more about that we should begin to study’ “cocarI cinogenicity”, and start thinking in terms of “the . cumulative toxicity of substances over time.” Remember the 3,000 additives we’ve been talking about. Now think about the fact that only a minute . percentage of them have ever been tested in any fashiqn at all and that almost none have been studied in combination. W-e have little idea how a random group of non-nutritive agents interact and we have no idea how they will affect our bodies. And it isn’t simply a matter of time until weI have that knowledge; at the moment only a very few- people think-it matters at all and typically they aren’t the _ ones in a position to generate the research. ’ Thewillingness of the food industry to forget the little we do know about food apditives is in_ structively outlined in Food Pollution by the . example of colourings. Ahnost everything we eat is coloured to-sme degree or another, some of it by socalled “natural” elements but most of it by synthetic agents not readily found in nature. In the US . the most prominent type are the coal-tar dyes, a category of chemical the safety of which has been hotly contested since the early part of this century.Today all of the “certified” colours in use are “polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons”, a class of compound which is “universally suspect as carciIiogi?nic’ ‘. The FDA has not banned their general use-despite the’ fact that they have produced cancer repeatedly in animal tests-since administration of the chemical during testing was by injection rather than by eating, a factor which somehow nullifies the results in FDA eyes. It is a simple fact of modern processing that these i colourants are almost always consumed in con_cert with emulsifiers (glycerides or poly compounds). Emulsifying agents are used in everything from ice _ cream to bread (where they serve important purposes like causing the base substance to absorb more-water) and when ingested tend to destroy the balance of emulsifiers already at work in our system, promoting increased absorbtion through. the stomach and intestines of whatever is in our system (including, of course, the additives). Ihdependent tests on emulsifiers show that they clearly encourage the absorption of carcinogenicagents, yet they remain, indeed increase, as common, accepted components of our diet. .. The list of these types of contradictions is virtually limitless and, while tempting to reproduce in that the reading would certainly jar a good, many people into thinking about food, ) is’ properly the subject matter of a book like Food Mlution, wherein it is well handled. Without the slightest ~ tinge of messianism regarding their own beliefs, these two ,journalists have assembled a comprehensive, extremely readable examination of additives in the food industry. They examine food production in its context, as an industry, and show repeatedly by example that in order to understand the workings of this institution it is necessary to dip , beneath the verbal finery with which it covers its doings, and to view it as an operation which does not hesitate to place a high return on capital outlay above considerations like a healthy, well-rounded diet.


10 the

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Campus Centre Hairstyling & Barber Shop New Summer Hours (effective July 1) : 8:30 am-4:30 pm Mon-Fri (closed

July

23-27)

class-if ied\, TYPING

RIDE WANTED

July 6

will do typing in my home. Experienced. Ph. 742-3305, 6-9 p.m.

To or near Nebraska, next 30 days, one guy. Will share expenses. Ph. 8841917. -

Afternoon

HOUSING

July 7

Typing for students,

Your Austin Mini Man, Ewen McKittrick, Has the Answer.

FOR SALE

,

quality

Ltd. Two Siamese kittens, 2892 or 576-1413.

8

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6 wks. $lki

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BAlTlSn

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“23 years of

phone 742-4689.

Free typing, done in my home, supply own paper. Ph. 744-8660.

McKittrick’s Auto Sales 23 Queen Street West Hespeler (Cambridge) 658-9535

piiiiq

june 29, 1973

1970 Honda 175 motorcycle and accessories available. Very good condition-only 11,000 mile& contact Dan at 884-5471. PERSONAL

Apartment available. Co-op students, 1 bedroom apartment for Sept. 1, one year lease, we sublet in winter term; furnished, utilities, cable $130 a month, near King and Weber, 884404+

pub, CC, noon to 5 p.m, free.

Food Services pub, with Manchild, 8:30 p.m., 75 cents, 1.50 nm.

Sailing Club regatta and party. Five sunflowers available to race. Also food, prizes, fun and hopefully sun. Everyone welcome, so bring your friends to the boathouse on Lake Columbia. For information, call 884-1734. Beach Field.

Party,

1 : 30

Movie, “Joe Kidd”.

p.m.,

+.

Columbia

8 p.m. AL 116.

July 9 Psychology subjects needed, $4 for 2 hours, experiments run on weekends. Chris Holmes, 745-7002.

CAMP CLOVER K-W YWCA camp for girls near DAY CAMP:July 3 - July 27 For girls aged 612 Btis pick-ups

CAMP

UNDER

CANVAS:

Bamberg,

throughout

July

Ontario

Twin Cities and St. Agatha.

16 - 27

For girls aged 1014. A special residence camp in tents with outdoor cooking and orienteering. Activities for both camps include swimming, hiking, boating, nature lore, crafts, overnights, campcraft and many special events.

Write

or call:

K-W YWCA 84 Frederick

(744-6507) Street

Kitchener,

Ontario.

T

TWOC

Molson film night, Classical Comedy, 9 p.m. on the village green (CC Great Hall if rain).

July 4

July 11

Potters, Doon school’s facilities are available for a potter. Work on commission. Enquire Don, 742-9312.

Lecture by Peter Elson from the Fitness Institute in Toronto: “Moving Toward Fitness.” Co-sponsored by KSA and Bd. of Education, 7:30 p.m., 2066 M&C.

“Music, Song and Dance of the 15th Century”, Hum. Bldg. Quadrangle (Hum. 180 if rain), 11: 30 a.m. and 12:30 p.m., free.

July 5

Folk pub, CC, with Michael Lewis, 75 m, 150 nm.

Toron to apartment-Yonge-Eglinton area or on subway for fall work term. Contact N. Simpson, 125 Lincoln Road, Apt. 1105, Waterloo, 578-5182.

On Thursday July 5, Dr. Stanley J.J. Freeman will deliver a seminar entitled “Community Mental Health-Past Present and Future”, in M&C 1056.

Lifeguard positions available, apply to Lisette Schmidt, Woolwich recreation department, box 579, Elmira, Ontario. Ph. 669-5757. WANTED

HRIFTY

a

‘-WANTED

RENT=AmCAR

SPECIAL WEEKEND & HOLIDAY RATES ON REQUEST TRY/OUR LOW TRUCK RENTAL RATE ALSO 11 & 12 PASSENGER MINI-BUS 150 WEBER ST. S. (ORR AUTOMOTIVE BUILDING)

Person to make a study of the quality of housing available to students in the K-W area

ONT.

(519) ‘74493355

Contact Federation Office 8854211, ext. 2357

All Shows at 7:00 & 9:15 pm Admission $1.50 Children under 12 $50 lriternational Crime & ’ Punishment I Cinema June

Thurs-Sat

28-30

JOE

Joe is a bigot without B unker’s. innocence restricted

July l-3

Archie

Sun-Tues

Le Boucher (The Butcher) by Claude Chabrol English Dubbed

July 4-6

Wed-Fri

The Maltese Falcon with-Humphrey

Bogart

d MIDNIGHT-WELLES Fri-Sat

July 6 & 7

Touch of Evil by Orson Welles \ ._

.

I

..

-

Afternoon

pub, CC, noon to 5 p.m., free.

FOR JULY

Tues-Thurs

King of Hearts Alan Bates

i;T”di5Deszri directed by Antonioni

FESTIVAL

Wed. July ll-11:30 Music, Song, &

a.m. & 12:30 p.m. Dance of the Fifteenth Century also Wed. July 18-11: 30 a.m. & 12:30 p.m. Music, Song, & Dance of the Early Seventeenth Century Humanities Quadrangle There are approximately fifteen performers for each show Free Admission Creative Arts Board, Federation of Students Thurs.

Citizen Kane by Orson Welles

July 14 Movie, “Groundstar Conspiracy”, p.m., AL 116, 75 m, 1.25 nm.

8

Semi-formal, Waterloo Motor Inn, 9 p.m. Tickets, reservations and information, EngSoc office, $8 per couple. July 15 Outdoor concert, Waterloo Bandshell, 1:30 p.m., free. (CC if rain).

Regular Meetings

directed by Akira Kurosawa

starring

July 13

Conspiracy”,

8

.

Christian Science informal group meetings, discussion and experiences related to the practical value of an understanding of God. Every thursday, 9 p.m., ML 215.

Rashomon lo-12

B oa t racing pub, food services, 8: 30 p.m., entry forms at EngSoc office, July 6. 50 m, 1 nm.

Movie, “Groundstar p.m., AL 116.

Sat-Mon

July 7-9

July

12

Black Friday pub, Food Services, 8:30 p.m., Steel River, 75 m, 150 nm.

RATES FROM; $4 PER DAY FREE PICKUP ‘AND RETURN

WATERLOO,

July

July

12-12:OO noon Summer Choir Concert Music director-Alfred Kunz Humanities Quadrangle Free Admission Creative Arts Board, Federation of Students

Waterloo Christian Fellowship l welcomes all students, staff and faculty to Bible study, Thursdays, 8 p.m. 137 University Ave. W, Apt. 904; informal get-together for supper, Tuesdays at 6 p.m. Ph. 884-4937. Gay Lib movement meetings, good discussion and interesting people, everyone welcome, Mondays, 8 p.m., CC113. For information call ext. 2372.

TERMPAPERS SERVICE (R&d) -A Canadian Company PAPERS ON FILE $2.00 PER PAGE, OR Custom made orders, at reasonable cost, prepared by our staff of college graduates.

416-638-3559

Suite 906(W) 12 Goldfinch Ct. W)ltbnrdale (Toronto).

Ont.

.


,

-

’ The coming twilight The

Swvner Before the Dark, Doris Lessing, Clark Irwin Company Ltd.

. l

by &

In Doris Lessing’s newest novel, The Summer Before ihe Dark, we ‘are presented again with. the almost self-inflicted powers,of this woman,, to make us look at ourse&es. No other writer, or rather ge.iger counter, for the contemporary middle-class registers with such relentlessness the details of our feelings and actions than Lessing. As a reader following the prolific output of ‘Lessing, one is successively confronted with one’s own emotional contradictions even when, as in my case, I am, much too young to really experience the focus,of this novel’s treatment, middle age. Yet still, by degrees, I am taken into the role of Kate Brown, middle aged and competent woman, who after the departure of her children into their own futures, and herhusband’s absence on business abroad, finds herself with a summer alone. Suddenly outside of the consuming totality of being a mother, the nagging and jagged finality of her age is given room to widdle its way into her clear view. As an older friend of mine said; ‘Middle age doesn’t arrive slowly and bit by bit. Although one can see the progressive4signs of age, as it were, growing onto your body, emotionally it hits you with an overwhelming bang. Lessing, well-known-to readers of her GoIdeA Notebook, subscribes to the traditional view of the -purpose of a novel: as a fictional forum for a philosophy of life. Her choice of the novel and her widely acknowledged mastery of it as a skill is in spite of (or more precisely, because of) her intent to use it for fundamentally philosophical purposes. As pointed out many times by herself, she is not interested in /the weaving of fantasies-or plots, but . rather in what these plots can be : used for: an investigation or explication of life.

At the same time,. her writing detailed attentiveness,. this fought for herself and her idea of indicates the distinctly personal creature of our humanity who has humanity by sifting through her quality of her life inquiries. She is been so passively harpooned into fictional characters. It is because not so much emphasizing what a life, which the moment that she of this that she has been able to people should or should not be, or has a chance to stand back and look at 2 Kate Brown so clearly. whythey should or should not do , look at-outside of the whirlwind, Whether this novel is a conthis or that, but rather how the so to speak-she bitterly resents. tinuation in that direction or the._ Vienna hideout dodging Delon and individual through pain and - Throughout this .novel there is beginning.of a resignation to the CIA agents and waiting for his wife ignorance, self-negation and af- the pervasive ‘force of circumstance’, we shall sense of being acted to escape and join him. There is a firmation, actually meets these have to wait to see. To say she has upon, of never really having had a break in the plot line for a super’ issues, and with what he has been choice. One is’ shown the cirmuch to offer, is in my view, an double extra wham violence bash. equipped to deal with them. Her cumstances, as Kate ,remembers understatement. As a slight The story returns to Washington ,own experience has taught her to them, that step by step have led ‘revision on another Lessing for -the final drama that unfolds mistrust all blueprints for life, and her,; into becoming a ~housewifereviewer, ‘Not only is it a matter of ‘with: all the certainty that the so she seeks, often through an mother, almost in spite of herself. what-this astounding writer is previous -- familiar scenes endless. mire of contradictions, a The decisions-that saying, but ofwhatshe is doing-to promised. she made are _, sort of blueprint for herself. The hazy opposite the progression of To be sure, Scorpio never drags us.’ -elkn tolmie most consistent aspect of her events. More specifically, her , Under the firm hand of director, writing has indeed been its decisions are hidden under the Winner, the action is crisp and . unappeased search for a way and overwhelming choice to see continuous. The preparatory a means to nurture the remnants everything as being impelled from scenes to a major melee or a of humanity’s integrity. outside of her. killing are simply sketched in _ She does this by being ruthless For example, Kate describes the which adds to the desired with her o-wn emotions and by early years .of her marriage to quickness which carries the experimenting with herself, as an Michael, and the arrival of their audience forwards. individual, with the possibilities first child and then their second _ Yet, as an example-of its genre, . open to people. Thus her novels in most resoects evervone has child, as the progressive taking are often only thinly disguised over of their lives by the trappings seen better. After Peckmpah and ‘fictions’ for what is distinctly of suburbia. Seeing themselves, Kubrick, the violence is hardly happening to her. they wonder how it all -happened above average: after a film such, Within this framework, SuFmer and conclude that it isn’t as Bullet, which featured Steve Before the Dark is both successful really them, but rather something By all rights, Scorpio, should McQueen, the.car chase scene in and disquieting. Here is an in- they ended up doin-g ‘for the sake have been a failure. TranScorpio, is a sickly carbon: and timately convincing portrait of a of the children’. samerican Corporation, owner .of after screen- presentations of Le the film, is becoming known for its woman of our time mixed with the The point is that -Kate can’t Carre and even Agatha Christie rather remorseful suggestion really admit that she formed investments in the young adult thrillers, this film just doesn’t that Lessing herself no longer herself. The obscurity of this film market. make the grade. believes in a way or a means. As Basically this market is defined inability to see that ihe is There are however some strorrg her protagonist feels she is the responsible, not least for allowing as the fantasy rebellion group. So saving graces. First and foremost victim of uncontrollable forces, so others to choose for her, is the cigarettes are sold on the message is the portrayal of the Russian spy Lessing seems to feel. She con-very ground on which she is swept that they take you away from the Zharkov by Paul Scofield.tHe has a tinues to protest against forces so mercilessly along. It is this that rule-ridden city into the country face that dominates the screen. A that .limitand encircle people, but where individual defines her. cow boy close-up shot of Scofield’s eyes ’ there is a mutation here, the freedoms prevail. Cars are-sold as And as Lessing suggests makes most dialogue redundant. , mutation of resignation. The character of Zharkov is a through her fictional mirror-so escape-mobiles where, for a Kate Brown is ,a middle class change, the driver can be in breakthrough in American film many 2of the conflicting emotions, mother, organizer, and selfcharge. And of course all the ideology as far as I know. In a film self-denials and defenses, a-re the negator to the will and whims of same for both young and older products are riddled with Playboy that reeks of cardboard cutout’ her children and husbandyin plastic tit and bum grapeshot. characters, Zharkov has canyons c _people. Maureen, a young girl Kate effect a woman like so many-other Looking at the previews and of depth. He is an intellectual J meets who is trying to decide‘ who dot and cluster the confor Scorpio, the imcommitted to communism. Even whether or not to settle down in promotions tinents of Europe and North is that here is when he was arrested and sent to marriage, is horrified at making a mediate reaction America. Her greatest virtue in ch’oice which will be so final; while another contribution to the en-‘ a camp he remained intellectually . true. The film makes it difficult to the eyes of the society that has dless stream of sex and violence Kate is horrified at th.e utter see how in-his practice of double-,’ c molded her is her competence in absence of choice, stuck in the thrillers being vomited out of Hollywood. But what drew this crossing and killing, he sees coping with the thousand finality of age. The .difference . trivialities of organization, which it between the two seems-to to the Lyric thextre last himself carrying out the ideals of lie in reviewer goes without saying her husband communism. Yet Scorpio shows us the extremely judged position of week was the cast which featured and children are too busy living to and a different kind of Soviet citizen middle age. Presumably one is Alain Delon, Burt Lancaster cope with themselves. And what is ailowed to express Paul Scofield. These gentlemen than we are used to seeing and regrets before the fruibof this labor for others? carry hard-won credentials in the -the sophistication t,hat Scofield a choice, but not after. On the one hand a greater and ,brings to the characterization is a candy floss world of the film inSo what do people like Kate do? rare treat. greater e xpectation of comdustry. ; It seems that they are .again, or petence ,.and. ‘efficiency -; at ‘rather perpetually, The_plot of Scorpio bears a,close ’ Burt-Lancaster aisosucceeds in presented with organization, and ‘on the -other resemblance to a Skinner box with his endeavours His toothy simian an alternative: to continue in a hand, the easy dismissal of those one\ way signs. It is straightface has been around a long time. I sort of apathy of ignorance of the qualities as inessential when they forward with an ending which This fits in perfectly with his source of ’ their aloneness and aren’t needed. obvious _ portrayal of an aging tired agent. rejection (not least their rejection ’ although not immediately is still likely only to draw a gasp And so Kate regretsShe regrets by themselves) or to reclaim, step His role is a variation on an old violently and guiltily (the ties from those whose only cultural theme. He is the agent who is by step, a direction for themfare are Marvel comix. , above a’ll a rugged individual. ,Het being too deep for rejection) and selves. It is with The Summer’s The storyline begins with a little may kill but he is loyal to his she is jolted into wondering how acknowledgement of this alterfriends. He may be forced by she gave herself over to this native that Kate returns home in , bit of violence. Good close shots with instant replay of an circumstance to be deceitful but morbid self-negation to others. the fall. , assassination of an African he doesn’t lie to his friends. He is Lessing portrays, with her usual Lessing herself has consistently military officer at . the Orlean Gary Cooper and Audie Murphy, . airpprt in Paris. This scene offers a Gregory Peck and Clark Gable. brief description of the type of This is the tradition that made work Burt Lancaster and Alain America great. 5 Delon are engaged in. Lancaster is Set like the corner grocery store the tradition is dying out. Lanan old time,CIA agent who has been with the agency since ‘the-. caster produces a sterling effort to this dusky vestige. The. second world war. Delon is his -revitalize freelance- disciple who may rwork agency is moving into the corfor money -but still understands porate mold of . efficiency and , and respects the professional organizational loyalty, sometimes called totalitarianism.’ But Lati- . excellence of his boss. The complication comes quickly. caster fights the’ CIA and its Upon Lancaster and Delon’s methodology. It is an old theme return to Washington, we learn but done, exceedingly well in that the former is suspected of Scorpio. being a double agent and the As in all sex and violence films latter has been chosen as his women have. only marginal andobvious contributions to make.. -’ executioner. The international Scorpio <does make a minor effort chase scene ensues like diet Pepsi follows a Hershey bar. to break from this tradition. We Lancaster finds refuge with Paul find a late middle-aged couple Scofield who plays Zharkov, a entwined .in bed and, most im-; --% ,portant, they share arelationshi,p’ R-ussian agent. Although they are which appears founded on love. 1 on opposite sides in the foreign As far as Alain Delon’s per- ,. spy business they respect each formance goes-he’s ‘just another other’s professional moral stature and share a common anti-nazi pretty face. .F: past. Lancaster hangs around his ’ -brian switzman

Silent *but deadly


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NIGHTLY 7 AND 9: 15 Matinee SUNDAY 2 P.M.

MOVIE MARATHON DUSK TIL DAWN SHOWS AT KW & SUNSET DRIVE-INS CALL 579-0740 FOR FULL PROGRAM SCHEDULES

If you make any sort of serious effort at keeping up with the steady barrage of new albums, it’s all too easy to lose touch with the rest of your record collect ion. Right at the moment, for example, I’m in a Rod Stewart space while trying to finish off a column on whatever phenomena are represented by the “Glitter Rock” lads, and I have the choice .of feeling enjoyably lazy or depressingly conscientious. Thus when a bunch of reissues comes along it’s a welcome opportunity to integrate pleasure and praxis, even though re-released albums and “Greatest Hits” collections are usually evidence of death or disintegration in the pop world. One of the most delightful records of any variety to come my way recently is Beginnings ‘(Atco 2SA-805), a coupling of The Allman Brothers Band and IdlewiId South. Although neither album sold well initially, they are at least on the level of Live at the Fillmore and Eat a Peach, and if you prefer studio tightness to live freneticism you’ll probably find them a good deal more satisfying. While much of the material (“Whipping Post,” “Trouble No More,” “In memory of Elizabeth Reed”) is familiar, it is done in such succinct and to the point fashion that it doesn’t seem merely a superfluous duplication of the Fillmore sessions. Amidst the generally superior musicianship, there is one moment of absolute intoxication : the transition from ‘the bouncy “Don’t Want You No More” to the blue lamentations of “It’s Not My Cross to Bear”, a textbook example of how to maintain the energy level during a drasic change in tempo. This opens side one and, when combined with the rocking “Black Hearted Woman” and a “Trouble No More” which wouldn’t disgrace Muddy Waters, makes this as consistently successful an album side as one could want. The only weak cuts are an overlong !‘Dreams I’ll Never See” and a curiously nervous “Leave My Blues at Home”, although neither seriously detracts from a release which has become a staple of my listening diet. While Beginnings will be a must for Allrnah Brothers fans, even the heavy-metal set could learn a few things about musical continuity and integrity by getting i’nto it. A 2-Lp collection of much older material called Stars of the Apollo Theatre (Columbia KG 30788) documents this venerable, institution’s role as a showcase for the best in Black American music. Included here are either previously unissued or hard to obtain recordings spanning the years 1927-65, which represent a wide variety of styles in the blues, jazz, and pop genres. Although some of the selections are of little more than historical interest, particularily a brace of novelty songs which often lapse into Amos and Andy-type humor, the remainder of the album should be enjoyed by those who have some curiosity about the development of this music. Such classic blues performances as Bessie Smith’s “Gimme a Pigfoot” and Ida Cox’s “Four Day Creep” are complemented by equally fine

examples of the work of Big Maybelle, Jimmy Rushing, and Ruby Smith, and the jazz tracks spotlight such deservedly successful bands as those of Duke Ellington, Count Basie and Earl Hines. While Stars of the Apollo Theatre is in no danger of causing a stampede at the record co-op, all but the most jaded hard-rock freak should derive a good deal of pleasure from it. Another “acquired taste” album is The Golden Age of Rhythm & Blues (Chess 9033-50030), an anthology of 1953-59 singles which includes a fair quota of genuine goldies as well as a substantial amount of justifiably obscure filler. If you grew up in the 50’s and had access to a Black radio station, some of these songs may have at least sentimental significance, but otherwise listen before buying unless you already enjoy the music of such contemporary groups &s Smokey Robinson and the Miracles and The Persuasions. There is one great cut on the album, however: “Shoe Doo Be Doo” by The Moonlighters, a catchy nonsense song interpolating one of those super-cool R & B sax solos between the typical doo-wah choruses. Finally, a somewhat older brand of pop- music has been brilliantly revived on Scott Joplin: The Red Back Book (Angel S-36080), where several of Joplin’s “rags” are performed by The New England Conservatory Ragtime Ensemble conducted by Gunther Schuller. Once considered more appropriate for the brothel than the concert hall, ragtime has recently been restored td its proper status as the apotheosis of 19th century American popular music, a graceful and highly rhythmic music which was among the first to synthesize Black and White musical traditions in a creative manner. Although Joplin’s compositions bear a superficial resemblance to what passes for “ Honky Ton k” music in contemporary mass culture, one quickly discovers that they possess a degree of elegance and complexity far beyond the reach of such pianistic hacks as Knuckles O’Toole. Absolutely delightful music, but again recommended only to those who can differentiate energy from electricity and dynamism from mere loudness.

rockin’ briefs War Heroes (Warner Brothers MS 2103)by Jimi Hendrix: the bottom of the barrel has been reached with this album, whose best tracks are still inferior to everything else Warner’s has released of Hendrix’s. “Bleeding Heart,” “ Midnight,“and“Tax Free” can be listened to without difficulty, but the remainder impresses as who-left-the-taperecorder-on-when-we-were-justgoofing stuff which will only detract from memories of Jimi’s greatness. A shoo-in for the $1.90 bin,although I suspect that you’ll feel ripped off even at that price. The London Bo Diddley Sessions (Chess 9033-50029) : an improvement over Where it all Began, but still very disappointing in terms of what Bo pulls off in live performance. Of the nine tracks, four were recorded in London with an unexceptional band of English nobodies, who succeed only in obscuring that elementary rhythmic drive which is so important to Black popular music. The remaining five feature such outstanding Chicago sessionmen as Phil Upchurch and Gene Barge, and are quite

june 29, 1973

listenable despite cluttered arrangements and some rather weak material. But if I were king, I would simply put Diddley, Upchurch, and Bernard Purdie in front of a live audience and let the tape roll, and one mighty fine and probably best-selling album would result. As the Bo says himself, there just ain’t no point to puttin’ sneakers on a rooster. Dixie Chicken (Warner Brothers BS 2686) by Little Feat: sounds like...lots of different groups, perhaps most like The Blues Project trying to play The Band’s material and having a rough time of it. Little Feat has been hyped as an unfortunate casualty of the turn to heavy-metal music, but from the evidence of the popcountry banalities of Dixie Chicken this IS nobody’s loss but theirs. -pauI

stuewe

A quick look Coronation Mass, Mozart, various soloists with the Schola Cantorum of Oxford and the Academy of St. Martin-in-theFields, Argo ZRG667. In their religious masses the composers of the classic age relaxed the often stifling formality and careful control that was their trademark just enough to compose some very engaging stuff. Sounding very Beethovenish in places, the Coronation Mass is an alternation of impressive choral singing with the efforts of 4 soloists, all backed, by a small chamber orchestra. Accordingly this work is not recommended for casual listeners who have not accustomed themselves to opera style singing. On the flip side of this recent release is a trivial bit of fluff called the ‘Litaniae Lauretanae’ which is forgettable in every aspect. Good recording overall. Performances are very good with the except ion of the solo soprano, lleana Cotrubas, who is strained throughout. A fair buy for those willing to spend full price for only one side of solid music. Music at Magdalen, Record I, the 17th Century, Choir of Magdalen College, Oxford dir. by Bernard Rose, Argo ZRG 693 This record is the first of a projected series detailing the efforts of the musicians who have taken up residence at Magdalen College through: the centuries. If this album is any indication of things to come I’d say skip it. The music itself is unspectacular and this is no surprise considering the deserved obscurity that both music and composers had fallen into until this record, Richard Nicholson and Benjamin Rogers being the composers. But the real surprise is the disconcerting performance. The choir simply pronounces the music to death. Consonants are spat out, every ‘S’ sounds like a fresh hamburger on the fire. Contrast this with the mellow acoustics and reverberations of the recording hall and the overall effect is not good. -Pete smith

e .


,

friday,

,

iune 29, 1973

graphic

Alice,

Avon

Books,

[New

York:

Every now and again, there comes a book so shattering in its impact, so meaningful in relation to 4oday’s complex web of social phenomena, that one reads it not primarily for entertainment-though that satisfaction too is certainly provided-but for the insight which it provides, insight which helps us more fully to understand ourselves, our fellow man, and our society. Go Ask Alice is not one of these books. Purporting to be “based on the actual diary of a fifteen-year-old drug user”, this anonymously-authored work is chilling in its wealth of bizarre’detail, penetrating in its implicit analysis of middle-class America,‘ the youth culture and the generation gap, and Question’able in its !uthenticity. Alice-the assigned alias of the nubile protagoniste-is the daughter of a college dean; she is a high-school,freshman trying to fit in. Her daddy’s rich and her mama’s good-ldokin’, ’ but these advantages in no way exempt her from the typical problems oj growing up. As she tearily admits to her diary: My life. . . has become so much ‘nothing. I really don’t understand how Roger could have done this to me when I have loved him for ‘as IQng as I ‘can remember. . . Yesterday when he asked me out I thought I’d literally and completely die ‘with happiness. I really did! And now the whole world is cold and gray and unfeeling and my mother is naggipg me to clean up my room. As if this were not bad enough, Alice’s social difficulties-she is groping for acceptance by her peers-lead her before long into the wrong crowd. At a seemingly innocent autograph party she is unwittingly introduced to drugs: After what seemed eternities I began to come down, and the party started breaking up. I sort of asked Jill what happened and she said that 10 out of the 14 bottles of coke had LSD in them, and no one knew just who would wind up with them. Wow, am I glad I was one of the lucky ones...1 can’t wait_ to try pot, . only once... One thing leads to another: Well, last night it happened. I am no longer a virgin!. . . I wonder if sex without acid could be so exciting, so wonderful, so indescribable. I alWays thought it just took a minute, or that it would be like dogs mating, but it wasn’t like that at all. . . Soon Alice is forced to sell drugs to support her habit. Her life becomes steadity sadder in its self-imposed degradation. Befriended by a boutique salesgirl, ,she runs away from home, and makes her way to San Fransisco. For a while things begin to look up. She gives up drugs “for good” and gets a good job with a jovial and paternal Italian leather craftsman. But her girlfriend Chris has been invited to-a party at the. luxurious penthouse of a woman named Shelia. Alice tags along, and quickly forgets her good intentions: Last night was the worst night of my shitty, r.otten, stinky, dreary fucked-up life. There were .only four of us, and Sh+ia and Rod, her current ‘boyfriend’, introduced us to heroin. . . Smack is a great sensation, different from anything I’d ever had before. . . But just before I

13 .

by don ballanger

Moral F with , . -a tail Co Ask 1972)

the chevron

was too out of it to notice what waS going through these most difficult years of her on, I saw Shelia and that cocksucker she life. goes tiith lighting up and settihg out To all appearances she has transcended speed. 1 remember wondering why were her sordid past and settled into a pattern of they getting high when they had just set virtue and parental approval, highlighted by her growing relationship with a hardus out on this wonderful-,low, and it working college lad named Joel who truly wasn’t until later later I realized that the loves her. dirty sonsofbitches had taken turns A final editorial note, howetir, quickly raping Us and treating us sadistically dispels this pleasant fiction, and makes a and brutally. That had been their planned strategy all along, the low-class powerful generalization on the basis of the main text from which we can all profit: shit eaters. The subject of this book died three Damaging though her experiences have weeks after her decision not to keep been, however, a phone call home to mother soon sets things aright, and Alice another diary. HeF parents came hoem from a movie becomes once more safely, but temporarily, and found her dead. They called the ensconced in her parents’ opulent police a‘nd the hospital but there was suburban dwelling. nothing anyone could do. After a pieasant Christmas’ with her family, she takes to drugs again (“Anyone Was it an accidental overdose? A who says pot and acid are not addicting is a , premeditated oveidose? No one knows, ...fool”) and heads for the highway once and in some ways that question isn’t more. Alone and friendless, with no money, important. What must be of concern is no food and no fix, she wanders the streets that she died, and that she was only one until she is taken in by a loose community of of thousands of drug deaths that-year. degenerate druggies. Her troubles reach ’ I think Art Linkletter YouId agree with new proportions; the squalor a’nd imthat. morality begin to remold the very fibre of \ -nick savage her once upright personality: I feel awfully bitched and pissed off at everbody. I’m really confused. . . when I , face a gi+ it’s like facing a boy. I get all excited and turned-on. I want to screw with the girl, you know. . Sometimes I y want one of the girls to kiss me. I want , her to touch me, to have her sleep under me but then I feel terrible. I get gui,lty 0 and it makes me sick. Then I think of my ’ mother. . . Everybody is just lying around here like they’re dead and Little Jacon is I&s yelling, “Mama, Daddy can’t come now. He’s humping Carla.” I’ve got to get out 0 of this shit hole. 1 With the help of an understanding and elderly priest she eventually does. Her limitlessly fokgiving parents take her back with tears of joy in her eyes, and, after some further social difficulties it begins to seem 1 that Alice will finally settle down. But she cannot escape her past. In her former life as an addict and pusher Alice created many enemies,*as all pushers ’ will, and one of these heartless wretches Folk and blues time, not-quite-aslips her some LSD on chocolate covered household-word division: peanuts (no lie). She freaks out badly, for With Pleasure, by Fraser and deBolt the recent-deaths of her aged grandparents (Columbia KC 32130), would be one of still weigh heavily upon her mind. She is’ those “promising” first albums if it were a taken to a mental hospital. first album. Unfortunately, better: stuff has The authorities soon discover that this already been released from this duo, and last episode was a frame-up, fortunately, m‘ost of the cuts here fall below their and Alice is released. Taken back into the previous work. fold, she thrives admirably on the comThe lyrical arrangements and fortable bourgeois existence to which she provocative tight harmonies are still was born, and the book dloses with her present-all songs were written by Allan decision to end her diary, which has been Fraser or’ Daisy deBolt or both-but the her only friend and constant companion choice of material is less satisfying (nothing

appoint ment

to match the intensity of “Don’t Let Me Down”- or “Dance Hall Girls”). “B.road Daylight Woman” and “This Storm Shall Surely Pass” are evocative of the earlier music from these two, but even hardcore Fraser and deBolt fans would be advised to listen before buying. Somebody Else’s Troubles from Steve Goodman (Buddah BDS) 5121) is also a disappointing album, but there’s no previous atbum to point to with Goodman. This is an LP full of inconsistencies and letdowns; John Prine ‘is shown on the cover photo and Dylan is given one of those mysterious “thanks” in the liner notes, but neither appears to have contributed to the music.Pkople like David Newman, David Bromberg and Maria Maldaur are likewise listed in the credits, but their contributions are lost and not evident. It see’ms to be an album rich in namks, but poor in music. Goodman himself is one of those people peripheral to the commercial music scene and has writteq.a handful of fine songswitness “City of New Orleans”-and has written five of the 11 here; but these are of poor quality, and there is no sense of leadership or authority behind the recording sessions, it--all comes out flat and the same. An unaccompanied vocal, “The Ballad of Penny Evans”, does nqthing m&e than display the inadequacy of Goodman’s’voice and should never have been included. Hope he keeps writing songs, but gives up trying to record and sell them. Walter “Shakey” HOrton is also far from a household word, though this old bluesman deserves to be, just as much as any. other blues player alive today. He has been blessed with little commercial exposure and an obscure recording label“Alligator” Records, the same company which makes other deserving musicians like Hound-Dog ,.Taylor _inaccessible-and his newest effort to break into the open, an LP called Walter Shakey Hoiton with Hot Cottage (l&don NAS 13526) does little k good for* his cause. The reason for the failure is not Horton himself, but his-or some not-so-brightpromoter’s-.choice of a back-up group, a deservedly unknown Edmonton blues group’ called Hot Cottage. Rather than belabouring this group’s inadequacies, simply compare the inspired harp work Horton added to thefirst Johnny Winter album recorded for Columbia to the forgettable and unexciting musi’c which came out of the Edmonton ’ sessions. London had a good idea trying to expose Hortan to a large’r public, but chose the wrong group to bring out his best, which is plenty good any time. John Mayall certainly must L be a household word among music fans by now, but the newest album released under his name by London, Down the Line (BP 6189), deserves a big warning for‘Mayall fans. These are re-released and “notpbeviously-released-in-USA” cuts from way back when, and it’s easy to s&e why these tapes were never released before. While they include such up-and-coming British musicians as Eric Clapton, Jack Bruce, Mick Taylor, John Almond and Keef Hartley among others, they really are of interest only to fanatic British music historians. The previously-unreleased tapes are songs recorded live at Klooks Kleeks (remember Klooks Kleeks?) in 1964, and I’ve heard c&ssette bootlegs with a better .\ reproduction quality. The re-released cuts include only a few listenable cuts, such as Mayall’s version of the classic “Stormy Monday”-stick tb TBone-and “Hideaway”. ‘This raunchy, poorly recorded stuff is a world away from Mayall’s work ‘in JazzBlues Fusion and since and, again, pbtevtial buyers are forewarned. -george

kaufman


14 -

friday,

the chevron

feedback Due to the fact that a few people have worked themselves into a bit of a huff over structure inan experimental pricing troduced at the beginning of the spring term by myself,( $1.00 Federation members and Women, $2.00 non-members), I decided to . clarify the misleading statements, and the amount of importance which people have given this new pricing idea. The first misleading statements were made by George Kaufman in the Council report on,the front page of the June 1st issue of this rag and I quote “previously all nonfederation people were charged at twice the Federation charge. ” This is not true, the pricing structure before the spring term was $1.00 Federation members, $1.50 non-members. discouraged single non-member males, but a Also in the same column is this, couple would still pay only $3.00 ($1.00 for “Federation President, An&y Telegdi asked council to back up Ram’s move since Ram is the woman plus $2.00 for the man) as compared to $3.00 under the standard running breakeven summer pubs for the system ($1.50 times two. ) first time.” What Andrew meant is not that the pubs If it was possible to have an enjoyable are running breakeven, but I am well within event with just campus people, (the ratio the alotted budget which has got been male to female is ten to one) the preferential adhered to in the past unless the budget was pricing would not have been tried. very large.However, 4 did state in council Mr. Kaufman’s editorial further states, that I had hoped this could be accomplished. “The reasons for failure of Federation pubs Unfortunately, I could not% pull off such a are much more complex than the proposed miracle. think-and-do solution to them would have In Mr. Kaufman’s editorial of June lst, he it 1) refers to Women as a commodity for sale. * I completely agree with George. The It’s too bad that George has this attitude problems in running successful pubs are because I prefer dancing with women rather However, his reasons for their then men, (as do most other male people I complex. “proposed” failure are based on his lack of know), and by lowering the price of admission for women, it gives them a financial knowledge and conception. Mr. Kaufman break, giving them and myself more en- has expressed his opinion about the quality of entertainment and the price of beer. I joyable evenings. If I was the money hungry won’t go into any detail- here because this bastard I am accused of being, I would have raised the prices for non-members to $3.00 or area of the music business is a complex one, so I will simply state that the Board of more, thus ensuring the success of the event Entertainment-. has one of the best (if not the because our draw of off tipus men who can best) agents in Canada working for it to buy afford such prices would still be maintained bands. Secondly, the price of beer was in(at a lower level of course). creased to 50 cents because there has been to The price of $2.00 for off-campus males capital cost increase since 1967 (it rose in was decided upon because it should have

' ,.

Retort /from Chairman Art: “Bullshit!!!”

-don

Off-campus males no longer have to go drag to federation pubs in order to save a buck, since entertainment board chairman Art Ram has rescinded the

ballang$r,

chevron

ferns-and-feds policy. In the above letter, Art offers for your perusal the official entertainment board version of the whole sordid affair.

june 29, 1973

1972 because of Mr. Davis’ locr0 sales tax) and because of the new levy. ‘i’o hold out against increased labour costs, beer costs, transportation costs and administrative costs for a six year period should be applauded, not condem-ed and we have the University Bar Services (which falls under Food Services) to thank for it. I do not pretend to be a good writer or even a bad editor, but it seems that Mr. Kaufman has taken it upon himself to become the University’s authority in the entertainment field. I suggest that George or anyone else spend a few years in this field before basing misleading criticism on personal observation and speculation. Also Georgo has accused me of negligeQce with reference to recent L.L.B.O. actions This is completely unjustified. I have been working on the whole concept of Pubs and licensing for years and my efforts along with whatever pressure I could bear (on and off campus) has gone towards solving the pub problem at the University of Waterloo. If the problem was just the levy, I would be jumping for joy. It’s far, far more complex than Mr. Kaufman’s statement. Other comments made by George have some merit, but most of his editorial is based on lack of involvement in the entertainment field and are therefore inaccurate and misleading. Almost everyone who complains to my face or in print is under the false impression that the pricing system has been stated as the main reasons for present successful pubs. I have never stated that this was the main reason, nor did I ever state that it had any great effect on the people attending the events. As stated in Dave Assman’s letter last issue (June 15, 1973) the reason’s for success are: ( 1) only one pub per week is being held, (2) choosing Friday night rather then a week night, (3) increased advertising through standardized posters and pocket sized cards, (4) little competition from Village run events, (5) coordination among Board of Entertainment members (Society Social Directors) and mutual concern over the success of each other’s events, (7) cooperative advertising, (8) Bands prices ranging between $150.00-$250.00. TAe ‘letter written by Fed-up Fern last issue gave me the impression that she had not attended a pub sponsored by the Board of Entertainment this term. If this is true I wish she would attend one and come forward with a,ny criticism based on what is going on now rather then last year. As for Ms. Mary Mcleod, I wish she would come to see me and tell me to my face how much of an unfeeling, inhuman financial machine I am. In response to John Greenwood, Arch III, aren’t going to change the Engineers overnight or for a number of years, until our society stops discriminating against female Engineers. With a ratio of 300 to 1, male to female, it is difficult to have an enjoyable engineering pub unless all of them are gay. Another point I should make is that the Fed-Fern policy ceased after June 1st. This

is due to the fact that the following pubs on June 8th, 15th, 22nd and 28th were sponsored by the Math Society, Camp Columbia, the Engineering Society respecti\.ely. Each organization has their own pricing system, which is similar, yet different from the Federation’s. During Summer M*eek ‘73 the Federation is sponsoring a pub on Friday, July 6th with Manchild for 75 cents Federation members, $1.50 non-members. On M-ednesday, July 11th we have Michael Lewis in the Campus Centre for 75 cents Federation members, $1.50 non-members. July 12th a Boat Race Pub for 50 cents members, and rjl.00 nonmembers, July 13th a Food Senices Pub with Steelriver for 75 cents and $1.50. July 14th a Semi-Formal at the il’aterloo Motor Inn for $8.00 per couple (tickets are being sold at the Engineering Society office because they offered ti run the event and look after the reservations). On Friday, July 20th with Spottfarm in F-d Services, we are reverting back to the old $1.00 Federation members and $1.50 non-members. The decision to go back to non-preferential pricing was made June 1st before the first Chevron blast for the following reasons: 1) The increase in attendance of females was not significant 2) Society run events did not suffer as greatly as I had suspected. 3) It was not a major reason for the success of the pubs and is therefore not required. I assure you that the flack received from a few people did not change the prices, but simply that the experiment did not reach the expectations I hoped it would. s I have been accused of being strictly economically minded.To clarify this the definition of success which I hold, along with the Board of Entertainment is due to ( 1) having enough people present to give a reasonably crowded pub atmosphere, (2) people enjoying themselves, ( 3 ) not running out of beer or liquor until the license is almost finished, (4) no fights or hassles with ass-holes, (5) a co-operatiye and frien&y crowd and band, and (6) enough people who give a damn about this University to help at the pubs for next to nothing so that you the student have an opportunity to enjoy an evening with your peers. Getting off the track, I thought’ I should respond to a quote which was printed in last weeks issue. In Nick Savage’s article entitled “CC Board backs beer bash”, the second paragraph contained this statement. “Ram asserted that the Board of Entertainment had decided to stop the twin cities from ripping off the students-what we want to do is rip them off instead.” This statement was made in jest. I had no idea I was going to be quoted in the Chevron. In future I’ll not be humorous in front of a reporter or anyone else who has an itchy pen hand. By the way if we break even on Oktoberfest, I wouy be pleasantly surprised. But if your patient, you will find out more about that in the future. As for the Chevron staff, I have never in my life seen so many people bent on stating fallacies, misleading statements, speculations and half truths. If my letter gets printed in its’ entirety, I will be most pleasantly surprised. Arthur Ram Chairman Board of Entertainment Federation of Students The Chevron is tickled pink to have pleasantly surprised Art Ram. And George Kaufman thanks Art for all the mention, but feels compelled to add that he did not write the editorial in question. -the lettitor


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-.

friddy,

.,

J

t

june 29, 1973

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\

\

the chevron

\

15

, .

Letter / ,to

earth

in my home town of Resistance Falls, Quebec. My room in the village is not cleaned regularly, and I still haven’t got my meal card. None of my job applications have been answered, and my work term report has been rejected. My‘name has been excluded from tutor lists and are therefore returned unmarked. No one will listen to me or help; will you? . -1.M. Gubitz 3A Elec.

Thank you for sending the paper, wouln’t mind getting Friday’s issue on Monday/Tuesday but what the hell, it’s a global village and print is still pretty importantfor a few more years anyway. (Sooner the better). Please print this in your letters to the I ‘m sitting here in a restaurant in editor column. Hamilton, Ontario (you see-summer Guru Maharaj Ji has total power in this vacation) I work in the daytime and I eat, universe. Jesus Christ is a perfect devotee of wash, read, write and drink at night. There Maharaj Ji’s. Information regarding his isn’t much culture in Hamilton-you see it’s whereabouts can be obtained by contacting an instant culture town-it’s somewhat akin Divine Light Mission. Telephone numbers of to wrapping-up lunches every morning for centers are listed with information in most them steel-w’orker husbands, toilet paper major cities. ’ bread and’Dagwood sandwiches. This town has sweet-dick-all. Peace, They rise for Brott and a symphonie Joe Dickie orchestra-but he is bull-f&k-same old Alumnus music played in the same-old way and to top it, off they gauge their success by how well they can imitate larger/famous orchestras i.e. Chicago or Berlin.Enough about Hamilton -could write pages. I laugh a lot - especially when I read the chevron of June 15-OPIRG takes us for some more money -they enlist our signatures and. then hit us over our own stingy heads with them. Great-now they can hire specialists-neat. Then the girl who was upset, because .. Dear Ms. Fed-up Fem. and all other feminist they-/her sisters were not treated in the fanatics: “genteel manner”-them Southern belles of After reading your bigoted and inaccurate Georgia and Mississippi had the proper life article in the Chevron (“A Dubious Service”, didn’t they dearie? You’re all so sweet-with Feedback, June 15, 1973) I felt I must try to your long silky’soft hair, your feminine present a less equivocal picture. In one mists, your shaved armpits (that never generalization you managed to contravene smell) daddy’s little sweethearts. My what a the basic principles of Freud, psychology, dull life you lead to say the least, walking and sociology. thru life when sometimes you could be, You were so confident in your presuprunning. Making your own independent position that all engineers are inebriated sex way, until finally that tall blond tight-jeaned fiends that you didn’t condescend to provide stud from Sauble Beach takes your sweet logic for those who don’t see things that hand and garbles, “Would you like to go to way. the corner store with me and I’ll buy you an Freud said that a human’s psychological ice-cream? Please?” When all along he is structure is complete at a preschool level: probably the kid who drove behind your enrolment in an engineering course is not school-bus every morning-masturbatinggoing to change a normal person into a beer, while driving. guzzling, sex starved barbarian. You’re an animal and so are we. Engineering isno easy course and usually selected only by those who feel it best fits Living to die , ?I their interests and academic abilities. The .existence of these do not dictate a burning lust for booze and fucking. When you wrote your letter you seemed to feel that it w,as so obvious that. every engineer was a drunken pervert that you didn’t wish to take credit for your understatements by signing your name. Or perhaps the let&r went unsigned because of your fear of its repercussionis on your social life. \ I don’t suppose it ever occurred to you 1. am getting the, runaround from this that the guy who walks silently out at the university. They make me feel like I don’t end of the movie, or the fellow coaxing the exist. I feel alienated from enginews last ounce. of speed out of a Sunflower Ton because they won’t accept my manifesto. Lake Columbia or that mouthy intellectuaI Nobody talks to me and the administration in psych class or that apparent masochist will not register me for the next term They doing presses at the PAC was actually an claim my records have been lost. This is not engineer. the real reason; I was involved in a scandal Shifting my attack to the stronghold of

- Peace

‘-

I

pa*

_i

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I

-I’ Well,

Fed-up’ fern flayed

S ^

the closing bars of Finlandia. What meaning your position, might I point out that.your did your mind come up with first? ’ lofty perch on the top bench of the women’s Bruce Cooper [-1B Pervert] sauna is not a position that should instil1 in [ ie.: horny you any pride in the accomplishments of hedonistic women’s lib. The women’s sauna is more born bed likely a monument to feminine piggery.’ slobbering . Often I have heard that when the PAC was ie. : Engineeri built both men and women were given the choice of either private showers or a sauna in their respective change rooms. The men Those the sauna and the women both. Which goes to show you can have your cake and eat it %Q?bell. Judging from your hopefully untypical opinions as expressed in the Chevron; feminists are females who find themselves undesirable according to the social code they perceive and react by bigoting themselves against men ie engineers. To further conThe chevron stinks. The issues I’ve seen tinue this obviously erroneous train of (three in all) have been meaningless. Any thought, it would&em a pity that such a asshale can shit on a jerk like Telegdi; “hotly desired commodity” as the women on -there’s no need to provide the toilet paper this camp$s feel they must “corner the too. market” by having preferential rates for outsiders removed. R. Bell As I write this I sit here freaking out at Alumnus

More -i asswipe /

_

Pudena Kansas, Oct. lo--An en$rely new method of birth control has been discovered by Dr. Lura Merkin of the Merkin Glinic. A tiny folded umbrella is inserted in the penis and opens automatically when it has reached the apex of the shaft. The underside of the umberella contains jelly (hence, the name “umbrelly”) which causes the sperm to undergo a chemical change rendering it incapable of fertilizing theggg. Dr. Me&in said that the “umbrelIy” can be inserted in the penis without a.n&thetic, and with very little discomfort tothe male. Thus, it can be done in-a matter of minutes, in any soundproofed w doctor’s office. Experiments on a’ thousand goats (whose sexual apparatus is said to be closest to man’s) proved the spermumbrelIy to be 100 per cent effective in preventing pregnancy and eminently satisfactory to the female goat since it does not interfer with her rutting pleasure. Dr. Merkin declared the “umbrelly” to be statistically safe for men. ‘fOut of every ’ hundred goats, only two died of intra-penis infection; only twenty experienced painful, swelling in the unerected member; sixteen developed cancer of the testicles; and thirteen were too depressed to have an erection.” Dr. Merkin pointed out that early cancer detection is a feature of the ‘Me&in ClinicRemoval of one or both testicles is now considered a simple operation and has very little effect on a goat’s sexual prowess. Only one out of a thousand goats had to have a radical penisectomy-that is,removal of the penis as well as’ the testicles. “but it is too rare to be statistically important,” Dr. Merkin said. Other distinguished members of the Women’s College of Physicians and Surgeons agreed that the results far out-weigh the ‘risk to individual men. Checking it all out. -Redeye Majority Report .

member: Canadian university press (CUP) and (OWNA).-The chevron is typeset by dumont federation of students, incorporated, university sibility of the chevron staff, independent of the campus centre; phone (519) 885~1660,885~1661 Summer circulation :

Ontario weekly newspaper association press graphix and published by the of water-loo. Content is the responfederation. Offices are located in the or university local 2331. : 9,000

For some reason it was like pulling an impacted wisdom tooth with a rusty pair of pliers this week; our staff has a way of dropping out around us like flies this time of the year...if you would care to become part of our dynamic corporation, with good chance of advancement and interesting work, into the campus centre and see us....thanx to the fine editorial staff of enginews for the inspiration for this week’s flacid feature... standing accused of this Week’s paper: L kati me1 rot‘man. Charlotte; _ middleton, hard-working george neeland, kathy murray, paul stuewe, brian switzmandeanna kaufman, david cubberley, Susan johnson, gewge kaufman, nick savage Scott, shane roberts, dave robertson, Susan don ballanger, art ram, commander tom, sally kemp, peter hopkins, mort sahl and-o’doursethe ducks down at dumont F pond.

drop

--


16

c

friday,

the chevron

Those readers who asked, via their response to the ‘chevron questionnaire of last April, that fhe chevron attempt to include more humorous content, have no doubt been somewhat chagrined that we have not as yet fulfilled their request. This page is our first attempt to assuage these readers’ lust for . jollitywe can only hope that it fulfills the bill. Some may wonder: why this sudden departure from our comfortablethough admittedly drab-journalistic rut? In one word Enginews. Yes, when we received our most recent copy of that worthy organ [heh, heh] we realized that in presenting such top-notch material as or the side-splitting comment on inthe brilliant Nipper’s Nook, terfaculty relations that found its way to the front page, the staff of Enginews had really put one over on us. Here then, is our own contribution to what we hope is to be a growing “community of mirth”:

Aboriginal a ribald Gather round all you engineers Gather round and hear this sad Of a man and his schlong. . .

june 29, 1973

Al: ballad

tale When a boy grows old And his wienie grows bold And the tip of his wong turns red, And it itches in the middle Like an unstrung fiddle He does strange things in his bed.

,

.

So pull off your jocks And hitch up your socks And a tale to you I’ll relate, Of Aboriginal Al And Neanderthal Ned And how they fared on a date. Now Sue was a typist And one of the ripest Wenches these wretches desired, But her jibes became glibber As a confirmed Women’s Libber And she only balled Artsies who [From the oppressive materialism

had retired of capitalist

reality].

But the -lure of her beauty Made Al and Ned feel fruity And they determined to give her a try, So they ambushed her at a pub And tried to slip her their clubs But she replied “just walk on by” [schmucks]. Now our boys were sad As they slunk back to their Playboy’s pad With their dorks so erect it was painful, So they decided to seek Quick release with a leak But soon thought of something more gainful. “I have a little tootsie,” said Al “That I can share with a pal I’ve got something here that will open your throttle,” So they melted in the arms And enjoyed the plastic charms Of a real-life Raquel Welch hot-water bottle. -prurient

A piebald

*

I pulled the visor down over my eyes and surveyed the icy waste . which surrounded me. A vast terrain of hostile white-l realized intuitively that I was the only living thing for miles around. A rapid glance at the gauge on my belt told me that my thermopak was running lowthere was no time to lose. I hastily swallowed another __nutricap and pushed on. The Arctic wind whistled like a shrieking harpy in my ears; the sun, roosting squalidly a few degrees above a bleak horizon, was the only light in the foreboding purple sky. How many miles had I come? I wasn’t sure any more-the autosextant had long ceased to function, and I had to admit the bitter truth: I was lost. Grimly, I decided on the only course left open. I slipped another coin in the dime-aclime and dialed sub-tropical paradise. The machine whirred briefly then clicked as the neurions reached full charge. I looked up anxiously-the sun had shifted a few degrees higher, but nothing else. Snow began to fall. I rantically, I grasped in my pockets for another coin: nothing but quarters, and not a change machine in sight. I gave the

salad

dime-a-clime a vicious kick with the heel of my insulogreb<, then fell back in agony as the roboguard pumped its high-voltage warning shot into my writhing body. The sun span crazily across the sky; the wind gusted simultaneously from every direction at once; the ground frosted beneath my feet, only to be replaced within moments by burning desert sands, th‘en dense tropical jungle, then I came to on the somnicouch, my body drenched with clammy sweat. The Lizard was still stretched out in the next+booth, a contented smile seaming his pock-marked faceI didn’t need to guess twice where he had gone. A toadying usher rustled obsequiously towards me, his precious vial of illusogen < lutched tightly in one gnarled hand. I grabbed the cringing gnome by- the lapel and shook him roughly. “B-b-bad t-trip!” he squealed. I nodded. “Where’s my money?” “13-but that’s impossible. Our illusogen is lab-b-boratory t-tested .” I wasn’t in any mood to argue, so I clockedhim a hard right on the point of his weak c hin. He went down with a dull thud Ii ke a paper bag full of soggy mashed

potatoes. I considered stomping his face a little, but decided the poor bastard was Ugly enough already. lsesides, I didn’t want the robopatrol on my heels-not today. The boulevard was crowded, and I soon A giant found the reason why orgasmotron was being assembled by a team of silver-suited workmen in the middle of the square. Every species of humanity was represented in the motley herd: drooling pensioners, luscious nymphettes, crippled H-war veterans with radiated skin like burnt toast-they were all there, and the merchants were having a ball. I 4lipped down‘a side-street and found a small restaurant, Their synthobeer and yeasteak were bad, but no worse than I expected. “Carcon!” The android wheeled over to my table. It was an old-model servo-unit-definitely not humanoid, and probably secondhand-but it served its purpose well enough. “Will there be anything else, sir!” “Just the check, boy.” I3ack on the boulevard the set-up was nearly completed. The throng was getting workedup now and a glance at my kronochek-it was almost 14:30-told me was proceeding on that the event schedule. A bell jangled somewhere; the orgasmotron responded to a thrown switch with its characteristic hum, and even itsfirst hesitant pulses were beginning to elicit their desired effect. Usually <traitlaced matrons were chedding their raimflnt w it h l3at ( hanalian abandon, tat professipnals of all species from political personages to university professors found their customary impotence belied by newly-rampant organs rising majestically in their plus-fours; and a pimpled sidewalk whoremonger, named Douche-dag Dick was watching enviously as he fingered the amputated weapon in the pocket of his illfitting trenchcoat. I walked over by the water-fountain ‘where a flatulent microcephalic was

paul

Ijutting

it to his Inebri ated gir ,lfriend with i/e adjus table wrench “Show me the house with a frigid wife ,Ind I’ll \how you a husband who defrosts his meat somewhere else,” I snickered Thea ( retin interrupted his panting IClbours to glare at me resentfulty with his fla4tiing dull eyes “That’4 copyright materiat, buddy,” he wdrn4 me. “She doesn’t drink She cIoe$n’t I)et Sh~~‘doesn’t go Io high-school yet,” I persisted &etu t Iy 1htl guy looked desperate He knew he (outdn’t take his own computer-generated bult\hit cloggeret much longer. He started thrclatening me I almost laughed, but shut him up Mtith a karate chop to the throat “n/hen I met her she looked ~good <lnough to eat ,” I chortled. “Now it looks tikcl it’s going to. .‘I “No, no, mer< y,” screamed the quivclring mongret at my feet. I, eat nw,” I finished remorselessly. I or thp tirst time the guy looked at me, bogging and snivelting-it was then that I rcl( ognilc4 him It was the same mangy 4onotabitch who had pissed on my fcot tm( k in ‘7 3 I I)ulted my stunner from my back I)O< kot ,lnd <hovec i the wicked-looking mu//le down his throat I fired just oncehut that n’as enough The c ur fet I bat k with (1 turn h, Ctnd for an instant I could see thtl \id~~MCltk through the> hole I’d left in his

c-in

outs

\kult Thflt-e w;?s a noise from up the street. A robot opt I I)re\sed a button on my belt, then shut my dyes as I broke into the tempo-matrix. I or <I n>inLltcJ I blat hfld out, then woke \zJith (1 start tf\. I dropped into my chair tw( k in thcl ofiic ~1 I ( hec ked my desk( ,Ittlnd,-lrit Mjd\ 107 3 “A4\ignment ( orll~>I~td, Hess,” I rf~I)ortc~(l “HOMI Clbout a va( ation!” “Not quittl what I was thinking,” hcl~~inl,ln \,lid “I lust got a letter from Art I<dm I LtClnt you to (hoc k into it.” -savage


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