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OUR FIRST SPRING REVUE Why Didn’t We Bleed? Many on campus have been wondering why a blood donor clinic was not set up here as it was at Waterloo College two or three months ado. Apparently some advance units of the clinic were sent down here in order to ascertain whether we were capable of giving blood. Numerous tests were conducted on students in the engineering faculty and then no more- was heard of the matter. After some weeks an investigation was undertaken in order to see why we had not been called upon to bleed for the blood bank. We thought at first that the clinic had discovered an unusually high percentage of iz;l.lce in our ranks but on investigation found out that this was nz the case. The reason they did not set up within our fair halls was so obviously simple that no one even thought of it. This may come as an anti-climax to many people but the reason is as follows: The alcohol content in the bloodstream of those people tested was far in excess of the minimum health requirements of the clinic. Although this may appear to have satirical overtones, the student body can rest assured that every single word of this is almost true. The exact words of the official at the clinic headquarters were: “We are unable to use any donors from your institution as your alcohol shows traces of blood content.”

Why a Latin-American Institute? Why, asks your editor, should anyone want to establish a course in Latin American Studies? Between the Rio Grande and de1 Norte, and Tierra de1 Fuego there are about 190,000,000 reasons, all Latin Americans, and by the end of this century they will number somewhere in the neighbourhood of 300,000,000. For many generations our culture has been Europecentred, and we have concentrated on studying the history and literature of the people from whose continent we or our ancestors came. Unfortunately, we have neglected our most important neighbours, and have studiously ignored the fact that everyone who lives in North or South America is an American. We, as Americans, have a duty to know about other Americans - and not only those from the U.S.A. Far be it from me to suggest that Latin America is the only area that we should study. Canada is shamefully backward in the study of Africa, the Far East, the Semitic world, Russia, and other areas of vital importance to all of us, as well as in that of our nearest non-Anglo Saxon neighbours. We even neglect our own compatriots of French descent. The point is, here at Waterloo we simply have not the facilities or the money to set up all the area-study programmes we should like to set up. Therefore, we should concentrate on one such programme and do it well. An understanding of political, economic, and cultural developments in the world is of overwhelming importance to all of us; everybody says so. But at present very few people are doing anything about it. The attempt to establish a course in Latin American Studies at this university represents the first, feeble attempt on the part of this writer to stop talking and start making some positive contribution to the spread of international understanding. Dr. J. C. McKegney

Last Friday night in front of a near-capacity crowd, the University presented THE BATTLE OF WATERLOO, our first annual Spring Revue. Although only a fledgling group, the Laurel Creek Players handled themselves quite well under the circumstances. The gymnasium is not always the ideal place for activities of this sort, and, as a result, a great deal of lines were absorbed by the beams and bricks or else spoken into the floor. The idea of the thirty year funning gag suffered a little from repetition, but apart from that the plot was quite sound. Jokes which lampooned all the faculties as a whole drew hearty laughs but the others, which restricted themselves to one faculty or a professor of that faculty drew only laughs from those concerned. There was a great deal of emphasis on sex (perhaps more than necessary) and where it came from one can only guess. From the allegorical name of the participating faculty member, one could perhaps surmise that. it may have been his doing. What the players lacked in polished production and direction techniques, they more than made up for in enthusiasm. The parts appeared to have been well-cast and thoroughly learned. Some scenes, however, were too repetitious and did not live up to the expectations of the writers. An example of this, was the faculty scenes which did not contain a great deal of humour and perhaps could be classed, plot wise, as necessary evils. The musical part of the show was received very well. Many in the audience were favourably impressed with the School Song and hope that the words and music will soon be available to the student body. Jim Tupman and Bruce Koepke sung “Little White Duck” and with the appropriate sound effects, it was perhaps one of the highlights of the show. The finale with all the players on stage, the University Singers and the Glee Club gave B.M.O.C. a rousing finish. It left the audience ‘with the impression that should a musical comedy be tried next year, it could be a real hit. In reviewing a “first” such as this, there is alwavs the danger of being-unduly harsh and by destructive criticism, destroy a very good thing while it is still in the bud. One cannot expect rave notices on a first attempt; things just don’t happen that way. The main point about the show was that it marked the beginning of the legitimate theatre on this campus. Pioneers always take abuses and find the going rough, but without them, advancement does not take place. With the limited time and personnel available to them, the writers and producers of B.M.O.C. did a very creditable job. Congratulations and we’ll look forward to next year’sannual spring revue.

WEEKLY Friday,


Well, it’s that dav today when all loyal “Irishmen pay homage to their patron Saint, shamrocks, leprechauns, the wearing of the green - and all that jazz. What’s this great preoccupation with the Irish and their patron Saint, the parades, the emerald isle - and all that jazz? The only good things that came out of Ireland were dances, songs and potatoes -in that order. Whatever happened to Saint Andrew’s day and the patron Saint of the biggest little country in the world. Let’s get the thistle back up there where it belongs. William Robert Wallace Bruce



10.00 a.m. Meeting-Electrical Engineering Dept.. . . . . . . . . . P352 2.00 p.m. Meeting-Executive Committee of the Graduate Faculty Council, . . . . . . . . . .. . . , . . .. . . .. . . .. . . .. . . P352 Sunday, March 19, 1961 8.15 p.m. Film - University of


St. Patrick’s Day +


17, 1961

Blue Angel”,


Waterloo Film Society Germany, 1929.. . . .. . . .. . . . .. . P145



Open Hours Monday, March 20, 1961, to Thursday, Industrial designer George N. Soulis, B.A.&., formerly March 30, 1961 factory manager at Snyder’s Limited, in Waterloo, joined the faculty of the University of Waterloo this month as assistant professor in mechanical engineering. Mr. Soulis ANNEX DINING HALL recently returned from Ulm, Germany, where he was a 8.00 a.m.-9 a.m. Breakfast visiting staff member at the Ulm College of Design for nine Lunch 11.30 a.m.-l p.m. months. He will lecture in design and materials at the 4.30 p.m.-5.30 p.m. Dinner University. Cotiee Service as Usual. He came to Waterloo in 1952 as an industrial designer with Snyder’s Limited and was appointed factory manager CHEMISTRY BUILDING FOOD SERVICE in 1958. He won several National Industrial Design Council awards for his furniture designs at Snyder’s. Cofiee Service Only 9.45 a.m.-lo.45 a.m. 2.30 p.m.-3.30 p.m. While in Germany, Mr. Soulis prepared a paper on L. Lumber industrial design education as related to engineering science education and served on a research team to design an When the cafeteria in Annex 2 closes down, students electronic computer for the Olivetti Company of Italy. The trip to Germany was sponsored through grants from the remaining on campus may puchase light snacks and a hot supper from the Chemistry Coffee Shop, which will keep Canada Council and the National Industrial Design Council. He is the first engineer to receive a Canada Council grant. regular cafeteria hours.





Published by the undergraduate student body of the University of Waterloo, under the authorization of the acting Board of Publications. Publications Ofice, Annex 2, The University of Waterloo, Phone SH 5-0571 and SH 3-2681. The opinions expressed herein represent the freedom of expression of a responsible, autonomous society. Editor-in-Chief: George Welsh Assistant Editor: Harry Johnson Arts Editor: Sandy Sanders Science Editor: Dennis Cann Engineering Editors: Bill Schneider, Peter Barnes Feature Editor: Marg. Townsend Sports Editor: Lewis Taylor Circulation and Production: Ron Mucy, Joe Eskritt, Dave Messham Typist: Joanne Rice Photographers: Mike McBirnie, Theodore *Rushton Advertising Manager: Jim Newman Business Manager: Jim Evans . :-

“Errors like straws upon the surface flow, We who would search for pearls must dive below.”

These two lines are my sole defence against numerous letters received from engineering students concerning an anti-engineering editorial written some two weeks ago. You who wrote in were quick to grab the obvious surface “straws” because you did not know or think of, what I would call “the pearls below”. The reason it was written was not to cause disunity among the faculties or, though it appears to do so, bereate the engineers for having the occasional beer. Rather it was written to get response, to rouse feelings and cause a break in this apathetic fog which shrouds our university. Things were getting so bad that we on the paper were almost reduced to manufacturing letters to the editor so poor was the response. I believe it had the desired effect in that it gave many a potential angry young man something to get angry about. I wish there were other ways which could bring response but there appears to be only two: either calling you names or attacking your faculty. Let us hope that. we do not have to resort to either method again because there are so many other things in this world which need to be discussed, which need to be critieized and which should be the brunt of any indignation which you might have. As has been pointed out to me, unity, or at least the appearance of unity is very important to a young university and we should do our utmost to preserve it. At the risk of being dogmatic, I still contend that distinct faculty reputations must be secondary to, and cast no aspersions on the reputation of the university as a whole. I recognize that right now and for 2 or 3 years to come, the reputation of this university is that of the engineers and I am willing to accept it. When that time arrives when the enrollments in each of the other faculties are equal, I hope the engineers are willing to accept the fact that their reputation must now be secondary to that of the university and conduct themselves accordingly. This is all I ask. Well, enough is enough because throughout the paper, which may be a little redundant this week, there are letters dissecting me and this topic from every angle. This is the last issue of the Coryphaeus for this term but we hope that you engineers keep it going all summer and that you will find the experience of working on it as enjoyable and rewarding as we have. I wish to thank the staff for all their conscientious work and time. Marks permitting, I hope to see them all back for the next session. Again, thank you very much.






CLINIC is An Art”

Entire Body-One Full Hour-$3.00 By Male and Female Registered Masseurs. .712 Belmont Aie. West , SH 4~2021

AGE-OLD PROBLEM Although Mr. Welsh cannot seem to get his facts straightened away at least he goes down swinging. He claims in the March 9 issue of the Coryphaeus that although two engineers voiced their opinions, “No excuse was offered, no solution was offered; &fact they pleaged not guilty.” No excuse was offered, Mr. Welsh, because I have yet to hear a good excuse to a foolish act. If I had a solution to this age-old problem of boozing it up, I am sure more influential people than yourself would be only too glad to put it into practice; This is by no means a new problem. Prohibition was an attempt to solve the problem and we all know how well I y. that worked. Who pleaded not guilty, Mr. Welsh? It was merely pointed out that heavy drinking is found in ALL. groups and not just ONE group. Certainly there were those en’gineers at the game who had. had too much to

drink, but artsmen and science students were having just as much trouble getting up off their hands and knees. As one artsman remarked, “It hurts when someone steps on your fingers.” You speak of the use of “second-hand information.” In the February 23, issue of the Coryphaeus, you wrote an editorial concerning the situation in the Congo. Since I am reasonably sure that you did not pay a visit to the Congo in person to interview those half-naked illiterates you so knowingly wrote about, I feel my use of second-hand information is justified. This second - hand information came from artsmen as well as engineers. There is one point in your article, however, which hits home straight and true, Mr. Welsh. “The lack of aroused feelings on this campus is paXhe&.” This statement does not need expounding upon. It is to be hoped you pricked a few consciences.


17, 1961

Letter to the Editor If the Editor of the Corymust resort to such childish outbursts as the startling statement in the first paragraph (to gain the reader’s attention), only to reverse his position in the last paragraph by limiting himself to the “few”, perhaps his intelligence is not far above that of the Engineers. Tom Burri, phaeus




Phys. &ping

3B Term

Dear Sir: Having read your article concerning the behaviour of engineers of this school at the McMaster game, I am quite impressed by your lack of good taste. You seem so damned sure about something that you did not yourself witness. You singled out the engineers as being meatheads because they were drinking. I will have you know that the fans present at this game represented all faculties, not just the engineers. Not all of the engineers were drinking, but there were some science and arts students who made up for it. Admittedly, I was quite drunk, and I assume I made a fool out of myself. If I have brought shame on this university, I humbly apologize. But, having read an account of the game in the McMaster there was nothing paper, derogatory said about the conduct of our students except that I has some pretty fancy footwork and was constantly in front of the crowd leading a cheer. If McMaster has no complaints about the students of this school being drunk, I believe an apology by you is in order to the engineers for the mistakes of n a few. Signed ONE Ed. &ote: “that you yourself di6%not witness.” No less than twice Sir did I have to move your curly black locks off my feet. By the way, when would you like your sackcloth and ashes?

where we can compete with all the foreign imports. Here is a golden oppor 1.. tunity for all you boys wh( are going back to your worl ; assignments, to study thl costs of your work you wil be called on to do, and corn pare those costs with wha t other boys can do the sam e work. . Perhaps when you corn e back to the University foir your next Quarter of StudieE6 we will be able to continu e this topic of “Buy CanLadian.” Vi c

Dear Mr. Editor: It is indeed a shame tha the paper has to cease publi cations for the term jus when the big guns are bein: drawn up. This has certain1 been an auspicious beginnin, for the University news paper. Time and again, opin ion expressed in the pape has shown that students her are taking an interest i: matters that conern then This is good. It remains onl; for anyone who writes hi opinions to think analyticall: as well as critically. As regards the latest conltroversy, it would appea r that both sides (Arts, Scienc e and Engineering vs. Georg e Welsh) are letting emotio: n cloud their logic. I believ e the editorial was out of line !; it should not have laid a:11 the blame on the engineer2 5.’ This was undeserved. How rever, I would like to tak .e exception to Mr. Barnes 5’ statement (“Guilt by Assoc!iation” March 9) that “on :e engineer was truly drunk. ?? The concensus is that on engineer was so drunk h.e passed out. I was not awar that unless one passes oul t, one is not drunk, but sobelr. With the battle over drink cing raging so fiercely, w must not forget that th e Coryphaeus has been criticis 5ed for other things as we11. One criticism that appeare d in the last issue complete1 Y changed my opinion of th ie average engineer. Three c,f them said that the literar quality of the paper ha Dear Sir: “declined at a most alarmin I would like to reply to rate” since the dismissal (I Gary Palen’s observations in the Associate Editor. In thle the Cafeteria. past, engineers have not bee Evidently he only investiaccustomed to declarin lz gated what he wanted to themselves literary critic S. investigate. If he had carried would be interested t ;o his investigating a little fur- Iknow how much the formt :r ther he might have found a Associate Editor has to pa scrubbing brush, yes, “Made in Canada,” but priced at them to write that letter. Joanne Rice, 49c. At 29c. this would have Board of Publicatiox been a good price. Secretar What a pity he didn’t make his investigation some weeks back. Here is a topic Dear Sir: that your “Debating SocI am concerned about a iety” could have spent sev- recent attack on the Engir leral hours debating, then eers stating that some Er lhave come up with a 50-50 gineers were “complete1 verdict. stoned” and that they ruine It is not so much the the reputation of the Univel rSlogan “Buy Canadian,” but sity of Waterloo. True, thle the fact we should attempt bulk of the crowd cheerin to bring the Costs of Pro- the Warriors to a muc f duction down to a level, deserved victory was mad le up of Engineers. They rente d buses to attend the game an d demonstrated a fine schoc11 spirit which would become a SWANCleaners marked tradition if the rf!and ceived more support from thle other faculties. Admittedl! ?, Shirt Launderers I



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a few more Engineers were under the influence than 1students from the other faculties. I wish to point out, :however, that there were many times more Engineers than Artsmen present. Does not the imbibed con’dition of an Artsman con.tribute as much damage to tour reputation as that of an Engineer, or does this come under the heading of ti liberal ’education? Although I do not fentirely agree that-any repre1sentative of our Universitv 4should get “completely ston’ed,” neither do I agree with your condemning the faculty of Engineering. Dear Sir: In your March 3 issue of the Coryphaeu!, an editorial presented a criticism of the behaviour of the engineers at the MeMaster basketball game. Why is the editorial directed at the engineers only? Are they to take the brunt of all the criticism? The . editorial spoke only of engineers, conveniently omitting any and all references to the artsmen and science studI ents present. Are they all teetotalers? Surely not,-for I saw several representatives of these faculties who were, to quote the editorial, also “completely stoned.” Our own school paper does a magnificient job of running down the engineering students. It devotes an editorial to a criticism of their behaviour, lamenting the fact that the University’s reputation has suffered in the eyes of McMaster and the general public. If th is is true, whv does the Mae paper co& tribute only three sentences to student activities during the game? Furthermore, none of these sentences are the least bit derogatory. Their paper goes on to devote two pages to accounts of the theft of several O.A.C. statues by Mat students; these may be considered as pranks which have, as of late, been outlawed on this campus, but nevertheless, their paper doesn’t ridicule or eriticize the students concerned. Why is ii that nobody else has complained? Even the basketball players came ‘up to these supposedly “completely stoned” students and thanked them for their support and they did this with-. out any sarcasm or disgust. Did the author of the editorial attend the game in order to watch the game or the audience reaction? Also, how was he certain that alcohol, \ not the enthusiasm generated by our own team’s actions, was the cause of the students’ behaviour - did he perform breath-alyzer tests? Would it be too much to ask for objective reporting in the future? Thank you. George J. Dalbergs PA-l

“The person who stole the show for the night was from Waterloo. He-was not a basketball player, but he had some pretty good footwork. He was constantly in front of the crowd leading a cheer.” Mae,.





Fisher’s B.A. Service. Cor. King & Dearborn MINOR REPAIRS AND TOWING



17, 1961

- 1__..

--.......I . . . .. _..-. _ . ___,_._

3 - --__Pa$Ji._._._

?Question of the Week ? Open Letter to -dl AJrIdergraduatss~ _

What constructive suggestion can you make to preserve the unity of the Arts, Science, and Engineering faculties at the University of Waterloo? b. In order to maintain peace and unity between the three faculties at the University of Waterloo - I propose the following six points plan for togetherness?????????????? 1. Dismiss all science and engineering students. 2. Shoot George Welsh! 3. Seek intervention by the “United Nations Emergency force.” (Look what they did for the Congo). 4. Suspend the women of the University (this will certainly please John Phillips). 5. An abundance of Seagram’s Five Star Special (or any other similarly effective substitute). 6. Allow duelling on the campus. George T. Pollitt Under present conditions it is necessary to dismiss the students from the other faculties as the drunken plumbers, the stuffed-shirt artsmen, and the mad scientist, depending upon your faculty affiliation. Since I have been a student in two of the faculties here I suggest that some effort be made to acquaint the students of each faculty with the courses offered by the others. From a knowledge of the engineering courses, the arts and science students would then see the pressure on the engineer during his twelve weeks on campus and might look less critically on his occasional spree to release tension. The artsmen and the engineers would see that elements of both their programmes are combined in the science course. The labs and math of the engineer and the humanities of the artsmen are combined to give the science student his curriculum. The engineers and science students would realize that the arts course is an intensive programme in the humanities, : the social sciences and skilled subjects requiring much concentrated reading and studying. The cause of student unity is aided by all-faculty participation in extra-curricular activities. Students from the three faculties participate in the sports programme, the glee club, the Laurel Creek Players’ Guild, and the various clubs on campus. During such activities as rehearsals for B.M.O.C., the students drop their interfaculty antagonism and all work for the common goal. The effort of March 10 is proof that the three faculties can and do co-operate successfully. Further participation in these outside activities would aid the cause of student unity. Admittedly, there is a need for each faculty to have its own elected council but we still need a University Students Council. Most of us remember the Students Council’s importance from our high school days. Here, while our university is still in its early stages, we need a voice for the whole student body; one to represent all the undergraduates. It will be news to many of you to learn that last year when there was a possibility of Waterloo College’s federating with the University of Waterloo as its arts faculty, a shadow students council was formed consisting of students from both schools. When the college started talking of not federating, much work was done behind the scenes by this group to try to bring the two factions together. Despite rivalry between the two schools, this group showed us that the students could and did drop their bickering and co-operate when it was necessary. If the students from the two schools could work so closely together! surely the students from the three faculties of this University can unite and support our new Student Council. Only with the complete support of the students from all faculties can this new council function smoothly and properly. Everyone’s wholehearted support of this council will better inter-faculty relations. “United we stand, divided we fall.” Ken Magee The so called lack of school spirit or lack of unity between faculties is not nearly as extreme as some would have us believe. Rather, the whole problem stems from a misunderstanding of the activities by the student body. Generating unity is diffieult only because it is not an end in itself but rather a by-product. A result of a common response by a body to its traditions and goals. While this university has not had time to evolve a unique tradition, we do have a common goal - Education. There are as I see it two distinct approaches to concern ourselves with; First, to create common grounds for unity and then to remove destructive processes. Lurking within this university there are several insidious rabble-rousers, persons of low maturity who would generate the level of the school downwards with the snobbishness and boorishness. It is indeed unfortunate at a time when great strides are being made in science and education that some portion of our Waterloo students choose to bicker about naive topics and generally wage decimating attacks on the other faculties such as: who was sloshed how much, or what snobs or boors theg are. Not realizing that it takes a low rank of maturity to be ,embroiled in such local trivialities. Well, there isn’t too much we can do with this type of person but to recognize the breed, and make the necessary allowances. None the less, there is .great scope for hope. The raw material is evident and only lacks a unifying symbol to create a good school spirit. We need a symbol that would incorporate the distinct Waterloo entities. Engineering, Science and Arts. As a nation has a flag and an anthem, SO should our school combine all its hopes and goals in some symbols which of its own nature generate a pride in the student body. Such a symbol might well be an ever expanding triangle, rooted in the present and expanding towards the future representing three fold man; Body, Soul and Spirit, and representing the three separate bodies of this university. Lionel Woods, PA-3

Recent issues of the Corytaken together with .orrespondence recently re.eived in my office, provide ,n interesting chronicle of tudent behaviour and misbehaviour. In the Coryphaeus for Fridlay, March 3, there was ublished an open letter from ‘resident J. G. Hagey, renninding all students of the esponsibilities they hold in he University society to 1Jhich they belong. The same irssue contained an unsigned editorial condemning enginering students for misbeaviour during the recent blasketball game at McMastcer. The : Coryphaeus for ‘IThursday, March 9, carries .a banner headline “Engineers I:. ndignant” with a letter ldicating that only one enineering student behaved i lolishly at MeMaster. The 5%ame issue carried an editor. 1:~1(apparently written by an e:ngineering student) reprin landing the writer of the for parP ‘revious editorial tj iality in blaming only enginering students for the troubf; ?at McMaster. In point of fact, it really d oesn’t matter who was origir lally to. blame - it is only siignificant that students from tl his University behaved in a fclolish and immature fashiicIn. A more complete report h as been made available to UniverU s from McMaster sj ity. It is reproduced below: “Between 6.15 p.m. and p.m. Tuesday, February 8,1961, three coach loads of tudents from the University f Waterloo arrived for the lhaeus,

purpose of playing two basketball games in the Drill Hall. “When the students disembarked they were very’ rowdy and many were under the influence of drink. “They formed into small groups and spread themselves all over the Campus, entering a number of the buildings. “Fire hose removed from the Drill Hall and found wrapped around the wheels of one of the coaches. “Fire extinguisher at stairof Buildings and way Grounds Offices removed and emptied. “Large silver athletic trophy removed with stand from Drill Hall and found under one of the coaches, together with a bed sheet removed from a bed in Drill Hall, First Aid Room. (Silver cup bent.) “About ten new hockey sticks and pucks were found being removed from the Drill Hall. “Entry forced to old greenhouse, slight damage to woodwork. “Up to the time of reporting, ail property was returned and no further damage ascertained. “At about 11.15 p.m. the three coaches left the Campus with no further incident. “About 11.45 p.m. seventeen Waterloo students roaming around the Campus were rounded up. “They stated that one of the coaches was to return for them at 11.30 p.m. but had not arrived. “The City Police endeavoured to trace the coach but

with no result. ‘fFinally at 1.00 a.m. the students left the Campus in three taxis. “After the games, comments were made by responsible persons who had attended the game indicating that they had never before seen such disgraceful conduet.” An estimate of the damage done has been requested, and when received, will be passed on to the senior Students Council of the University for payment. . Unfortunately, paying the cost of breakages, etc., assooiated with such an incident, does not remove the foul impression left by students from this University. It is not for the University to supervise and police student affairs. The University must expect all of its students to act in a responsible and mature fashion. As Dr. Hagey’ noted in his recent open letter, students at this University have a responsibility not only for their own behaviour but for the behaviour of every other student. The new Constitution, just being formulated, for the University Students Council provides for a Judicial Committee, composed of students to deal with student misbehaviour. It is to be hoped that procedure may be evolved whereby students at this University can have effective control, as a group, over the irresponsible behaviour of the minority. D. T. Wright, Dean

of Engineering

for what they are, and not for some fuzzy notion of CAMPUS 60 what you would like them to be. It is one thing to with aspire to better the world, JIM NEEB and JOAN REESOR it is quite another to blindly of W.U.C. criticize and rail against the realities of life. It would do -you well to remember the CKKW ‘“RADIO words of the great French DIAL -1320 philosopher, .Rabelais, “I EVERY SATURDAY, 7.05 p.m. drink no more than a sponge.” He knew men as Student News Music College Features they are, and he based his writings on this knowledge; for this he is still remembered and studied throughout the M Learned and All Drunk! * world today. A. Rushton Some people have chosen “Drink! for you know not “Cowper,Theodore The Task, Bk. iv, 3 enter training for a prowhence you came, nor 1. 478. ?ssion that incurs discipline why. Ed. LVote: We found this Drink! for you know not letter nd rigorous training, a procompletely beyond our ?ssion that embraces the where you go, nor when.” but printed it rr lost daring and imaginative And some people ’ have understanding nevertheless because it prod:reams of mankind’s achievchosen to continue their edu- vides an ideal exercise in ment. Are these people, if cation past the High School critical reading, that is, the 2ey wish a few hours escape level, so that they will be attempt to discover a vestige fr born the demands of their known as ‘College Bred.’ of sense where there is none. tr eaining, to be condemned? College Bred - Crumbs, held 0 lr is the nature of their together by lots of dough, e!:scape to be condemned, be half baked, plenty of crust, it : stamp collecting, be it sex, a four year loaf. Announcement They pursue their three 01 r be it alcohol? A condemHIGHLAND BOWL n ational of a habitual drunkR’s of learning, Romance, Weber at Dearborn alrd is sheer ignorance, be- Remorse and Rheumatism. CI&use the man is sick and These people escape? What NOW HAVE from! or why? They have n eeds help. A condemnation OlF an occasional drunkard is nothing to escape from, no BILLIARDS responsibilities to wish a Sl leer hypocrisy, a refusal to alllow the person condemned brief rest from. No wonder University Students they cannot understand anyhi is own means of escape. Some people have stopped one wishing an occasional Special Rate $1 per hr. escape from work and retc ) consider some of the more sponsibility, they judge the PIrofound questions of life, actions of others on their SC)me of the deeper questions OJf age-old philosophy. These own valueless lives. Congratulations to Wiz Grow up, mature a little, Muir on his recent return SI Ime questions have puzzled tl le humanitarians since the try at least to reach the level from the hospital in good bj irth of civilzation, and they of intelligence commonly as- health and excellent spirits. Rumour has it that both h:ave been unable as yet to sociated with University. ti ive any reasonable or satis- Come out from behind your physical and mental condition may .be traced back to fa lctory answers. And so, in mother’s apron, look around tl le words of one of the and see the world in reality, nurses. How about that, then learn to accept people sports fans? W ,orld’s greatest poets:



Page 4


Watch for the Opening of FORWELL’S ’ New Snack Bar Next Week

EDITORIAL This is the last issue of the Coryphaeus for this term. There are many subjects of interest which could be used for the closing editorial, but which to choose? In looking over the past three months, if it had not been for Showboat ‘61 the term would have been a complete loss. This term was dead from the word go. Initiation of freshmen was virtually non-existent. The noisy stags and general hullabaloo usually raised by engineers never happened. The reaction of engineers to the newspaper was very poor. Articles that were submitted were usually interesting and readable, but very few in number. In the summer term we will have to run the paper on our own. Admittedly, finding time to write articles in the school term is difficult, but at least give a little thought to the summer months while you are at work. If something arouses your interest, write a short article about it. There are those of you who have contributed to the paper in the past and have done a good job. Share a little of this talent of yours again in the summer issues of the paper. Two or three well-written articles, written while you are at work, would help considerably in lessening the load for those who have to put out the Coryphaeus in the summer. As Mr. Dyck would say, “The time for educational experiences is upon us again.” So, good luck with your term exams and we’ll see you next summer???? Pete Barnes




POSITIONS AVAILABLE : (1) Assitant Editor (2) Advertising Manager (3) Business Manager (4) Engineering Editor (5) Sports Editor (6) News Editors (7) Production and Circulation Are you willing to spare a few hours keep the ball rolling. MEETING:


a week to

Tuesday, April 6, 1961 at 5.00 p.m. Student Oflices -- Annex 2

Engineer on first work assignment : “Do you give your employees two weeks’ vacation?” Boss : “No, they get a month - two weeks when they go on their vacations, and two weeks when I go on mine.” Artsman: “I would like to marry your daughter, sir.” Father : “Well, you can leave your name and address and if nothing better turns up, we will notify you.” First Mountaineer: “I hear your wife makes mighty good moonshine whiskey.” 2nd Mountaineer: “Yep. She sure does. Reckon I aughta be ashamed of her, but with all her faults, I love her still.” Thought for Today: Never regard study as a duty, but as the enviable opportunity to learn to know the liberating influence of beauty in the realm of the spirit for your own personal joy and to the profit of the community to which your later work belongs. Albert Einstein




10 King Street S. Waterloo Special Student’s Meal Ticket


Earth soaks up

And drinks, and gapes for drink again; The Plants suck in the Earth and are With constant Drinking fresh and fair. Nothing in Nature’s sober found, But an eternal Health goes round. Fill up the Bowl, then, fill it highFill all the Glasses there; for WhY

Should every Creature Drink but I? Why, Man of Morals, tell me why? Cowley, Anacreon II. Drinking Quotes: “In my country, all peoples enjoy freedom and the development of culture, and that includes the Jews. I have many friends who are Jews. Many of our most prominent leaders, in fact, have married Jewish girls, and they have excellent relations.” Anastas Mikoyan, The New Leader

SWEENEY%GROCERY 170 tEg2 :\7torth 0 Groceries Meats Drugs



17, 1961

Sports This being the last issue of the Coryphaeus for this term, we have now a rundown on the 1960-61 sports at the U. fo W.

Basketball The Warriors basketball team played an extremely good season ending up with 20 wins and only 2 losses with a clean slate of 8 - 0 in conference play. The Warriors averaged 77.6 Spectacdar points per game while holding their opponents to only a 59.8 points per game average. Bill Jones was top scorer with Standing waiting for a 448 points for an average of 26.3 per game. Ray Palmer had trolley in downtown Kitch326 points for a 15.5 per game average, while Dick Aldridge ener on a Saturday night can had 209 points for a 9.9 per game average. Rebounding, be a rich experience. There is Jerry Hickey had 191 and Bob Pando had 130 rebounds. conducted on King Street a The Waterloo J.V.‘s had a good season with 7 wins and veritable symphon5 of sound 6 losses. They went 5 - 5 in league play. as the seiee&hing of tires intones beautifully with the low throb of Hollywood muf- Hockey flers. Sleek chrome monsters The hockey team tried hard and played well, but they with the usual accessories still ended up with 0 wins and 10 losses. (outsize fender skirts, beads around the windshield, the Curling shrunken head on the rear The U. of W. entry was eliminated in the second round view mirror, and “pipes” on the cars whose owners are of the Curling Bonspiel. really with it) roar out throaty challenges at every Volleyball stoplight . A 2 - 3 record in the tournament got the team third The cars however are the place in the final standing. lesser of two spectacles put on for the edification of those Badminton who wait for trolleys. The In this sport the U. of W. doubles team won the Interdrivers of these unhappened accidents are the stars of the collegiate title. whole show. Although they may profess to be different Golf the observer on the sidewalk, Waterloo was runner-up in the Golf Tournament. with just a few minutes’ practice, can pick out markFootball ed similarities in the posture and appearance of the drivThe football Warriors had a record of 2 wins and 5 losses ers. His back is almost always over the season. The team was made up of many freshmen against the door, his right students and prospects look much better for next year when hand has a tight grip on the the boys will have had a season of playing together. spinner on the wheel, while his left hand appears to be Rugger in the process of performing The U. of W, “Scorpions” Rugger team was just some ambigious function organized this year and played several exhibition games down on the floor, he never against U. of T., O.A.C., London, etc. The Scorpions beat smiles, half his face is in the U. of T. seconds 19 - 5 while losing to O.A.C. 12 - 6. In the shadow of his turned up second week of April, the Scorpions are planning to travel collar and his hair., well a book could be written on to Ann Arbor, Michigan, to play an exhibition game there. that. There may be some Next year the Scorpions are trying to get a league formed with Western, Queen’s seconds, Toronto seconds, MeMaster, danger of an understatement here, but his hair appears to O.A.C. seconds and the Scorpions as a Junior Varsity league. be “quite long” and well On the whole the U. of W. was well represented by our kept to the point of being sports teams and prospects look good for next year with our almost effeminate. for membership in the OQAA recommended to The drivers may be sub- application Board of Governors of the OQAA and a tentative divided into two classes: the basketball schedule already drawn up including an entry those with female companthe U. of W. Also on the hockey front, we are proposed ions and those without fe- from an entry in the senior league with division opponents of male companions. The form- as O.A.C., MeMaster, and Queen’s. To augment our ranks er are very difficult to dis- next year, coaches Totzke and Pugliese will be visiting about tinguish in that there appears 30 high schools in Ontario to try to persuade talented to be only one person in the students to enter the University of Waterloo next fall. car. Perhaps this propinquity can be attributed to overprotectiveness or then again it may stem from the neces- Man, being reasonable, must Then to the lip of this poor get drunk; sity of bodily warmth necesearthern Urn The best of life is but insitated by plastic seat covers. toxication : I lean’d, the Secret of my life The field is very free for to learn: theory. The other type who Glory, the grape, love, gold, in these are sunk has no girl, to quote Willy And Lip to Lip it murmur’d The hopes of all men and of “hath a lean and hungry -“While you live, every nation; look” and is forever scanning Without their sap, how the sidewalks in hope that Drink! - for, once dead, you branchless were the trunk somewhere in this great metnever shall return. Lropolis there is a girl for Of life’s strange tree, so fruitOmar Khayyam xxxv ful on occasion : him. But to return,-Get very If you could have seen drunk; and when ;hose boys on Saturday night You wake with headache, SHOP AT your heart would have gone you shall see what then. >ut to them in their hour of Byron Don Juan, leed; the tragedy played out Canto ii St. 179 LlMlTED In King street would have Bible Quotation: lulled at the heart strings of I.G.A. no longer water, but ;he most convinced stoic. So JseDrink 247 King North a little wine for thy slippery were the roads that stomach’s sake. WATERLOO light that it was virtually Phone SH 2-7964 I Timothy v. 23. mpossible to “burn rubber” for Today: for BETTER Products 1s they are wont to say. Quote Waterloo is a place where rears of frustration welled at LOWER COSTS. artificial pearls are cast bezp in every face and King This week’s SPECIAL: ‘ore real swine. street echoed with cries of Anonymous I.G.A. Pork & Beans ‘Wait ‘till next week.” 15 oz. Tins 2/29c. Green Giant If you have a spare hour rext Saturday night I would Wax Beans 2/29c. leartily advise that, you go Morton’s Frozen lowntown and watch the Pies, Chicken, :lowns perform their antics.. Turkey, Beef 4/89c. ‘t will be time well wasted. I

King Street


1960-61_ v1,n16_Coryphaeus