The Burial of Arthur Ryan continued "Yeah, but some dads want their kids to do things, you know? Like some dads want their sons to play baseball, so as soon as they're big enough to hold the ball they're teaching them how to throw." "I don't know if I care much about that stuff." "Did your dad do anything like that?" "Like what?" "Did he want you to be good at a sport?" "He wanted us to play footbalL" "You mean soccer?" "Yeah." "Did he play with you in the park or take you to games? All of that dad stuff." "Sometimes. He always used to say that one of us would grow up to play for Ireland in a World Cup. He used to say Frankie was going to be the next best thing." "So Frankie was really good?" "That's what Dad says, but then he got his job in Nashville and the family's been tainted ever since." A few weeks ago Kevin helped Mom clean out your desk in the spare room. He said he found some pictures of you from Christmas a few years ago when you dressed up as Santa Claus and passed out the presents. You looked so young in the pictures, Dad. You looked like you could conquer the world. You were happy. You didn't look like you were going to leave anytime soon. I guess the thing I never really understood was why you never told us. Why'd you wait until the end? You knew you
10 ••• Phoen x
were leaving for years but you hid it from us. I just wish I'd known sooner. "MichaeL" "Hold on, Grace. I'm on the phone." "Michael!" "What is it? This call is pretty big." "Bigger than your wife having a baby? I think I'm going into labour. I've brought my suitcase down from upstairs and ... " "Come on, Grace! You shouldn't be carrying anything. Just get in the car. I'll call the hospital. Are you sure this isn't another false alarm?" "Michael ... " "Okay, okay. Let's go!" I don't think I can talk to you anymore. I don't need to. It's been over a year now. Grace had the baby. We named him Arthur, but we're calling him by his middle name, Eoin. He's beautiful. He's got these tiny hands with tiny fingers. He came from me. He's amazing. I know he'll never know you, but he'll know me. Mom was there when he was born. She drove down from Nashville at two in the morning when Grace went into labour. She was there before he arrived. She was in the room right beside the bed. Grace made me leave; said I wasn't helping. Mom cried when she saw his dark hair and giant green eyes. She said she knew he was a Ryan when she saw those eyes. Grace told her his name and she cried even more.