DRUG USERS THINK summer 2020
ASK A SEX WORKER, PART 2 alex and morselle cupcake
Last issue we started a two-part article where we, Alex and Morselle Cupcake, answer your sex worker questions! We established some important boundaries around asking questions of sex workers, and answered some questions not usually considered constructive by sex workers as well as questions on activism. We are keeping that going here, with a mix of questions we are commonly asked. How did you start? Alex: If you read the last issue, you may be getting tired of this, but I will explain why some sex workers don’t like this question. I know workers who started as a way to survive on the streets as teens, and I know workers who started as adults because they thought the job would be sexy (and to many, it is!). If the person you are asking happened to start in a traumatizing way, the question feels voyeuristic and triggering. Plus, people may be at different places in their journeys with their sex work, and if we are trying to get out or if aren’t in good places with it, it doesn’t feel good to be reminded of the beginnings.
Sex work has led me on quite a wild ride and, though I am now a jaded whore, I am still glad I started and I still don’t have any other realistic options. Morselle Cupcake: I agree that this is kind of shitty to ask. Although I am a very privileged cyber-whore and I'm not particularly triggered by this question myself, I find it irritating because many people who do sex work are in survival mode after very traumatic life experiences. It's not kind to ask someone to retell their story of trauma, so please don't just come up and ask this question: trust me, if we want to tell you, we will! For me, trauma is not what personally led me to sex work, but I do have sexual trauma and it does affect my ability to work at times. That being said, my sexuality is a very strong and important part of my identity and I truly enjoy the work that I do! I take a lot of joy in my Sexy Work and I genuinely look forward to spending time with clients.
I started when my kid became a teenager. I was in my late 30s and I had badly injured my knee and was unable to walk for a couple months. My family has always been The question doesn’t bother me though, so here’s my resourceful, making ends meet in a variety of ways. I not-very-exciting entrance story: in my late 20’s I was have often worked very physical jobs including a member of a Facebook group supporting landscaping and bodywork. I have also been a sauerkraut marginalized populations, and one of these wench, a kids’ yoga teacher, and an elementary school communities was sex workers. The whores there teacher, and I’ve always been an activist. With me helped me start thinking about my options, but more injured and out of work, my primary partner struggled to importantly they enabled me to start out radicalized make ends meet. My medical bills were out of control and leftist with mostly the right opinions about sex and I had to find some way to earn money. work. I was lucky; I was at a time in my life when I needed money but still had the ability to plan and to be thoughtful about how I started. I told my partners I wanted to be a full service sex worker, and they immediately supported it. We all felt very proud to be queer and polyamorous and kinky; we were happy to live life outside mainstream culture (I recall that, after I left them, they insulted me by saying I was “LGBT” instead of “queer.” It was quite the cutting remark.). Me being a sex worker felt like an extension of our rejection of white middle-class values. In truth, I didn’t have much of a choice. At the time, my mental illness was misdiagnosed, but I had never “made it” at a “real job” … at least not long term. One partner looked up ways for me to start and helped me sign up for a sugar dating site. With my eyes wide open, I had no illusion that I would find real love nor did I harbor any belief that it wasn’t just about money.
