Health & Wellbeing
Let’s talk about communication By Alice Johnsen During any stressful period of our lives, one of the first things to suffer is very often good communication. Our concentration and attention to detail is not as good as when we are not over stressed. Our reactions are based more on emotion than logic. When our stress levels are high, we are more likely to use the emotional right side of our brain rather than the logical left in order to take decisions. This can mean that we react in a fast but unconsidered way, which can add to bad communications within either a professional or personal relationship. Our emotional resilience is lowered by stress, which can affect the way we react to
other people’s decisions. That can lead to a greater risk of misinterpretation and a breakdown of clear understanding. So how to solve this? First, recognition. If you recognise communication within any relationship needs improving, you have taken the first step to clarity. Secondly, in order to address
this successfully, finding the right time and place to discuss the issues is key. To get the best out of a potentially difficult conversation it is sensible to identify a good time of day when neither party is distracted (no phones in the room) or tired and when the risk of interruption is low. Both parties need to agree that all cards must go on the table but – and this is essential – with kindness. Consider how you would feel if you heard the words you speak spoken to you. Next, in a conversation like this, it is so important that you really, really listen. Also that you accept there may well be a need to embrace change or to compromise. To quote Jim Rohn: “Effective
communication is 20% what you know and 80% how you feel about what you know.” Finally, if you can, return to the conversation after a few weeks have passed – don’t just leave it as a one-off. Be honest about what has or has not changed and what is or is not working for you. If you are aware of what is increasing the stress for either party that has caused the initial breakdown of communication, look to address that too. Be calm, flexible and kind. Be patient. Communication is so key to our every interaction. It deserves protecting. Alice Johnsen is a life coach based just outside Sherborne. 07961 080513 alicejohnsen.co.uk
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