The University of Mary Saved My Life

Karen Livinggood was living what she called the “perfect” life. After deciding fashion design school was not for her, she got married and started a family in Bismarck, ND. She and her husband had five children, who kept her busy. “Our home was always full of kids – our children, neighbor kids, and my daycare children.”

She said there were times she would wish for a “real” job with adults to talk to, but with no resume or experience and five beautiful children at home, running her daycare and staying home made her happy. It seemed like just another picturesque fall day when everything changed.

Livinggood was in the kitchen, waiting for her children to come home from school. Her middle child, Casey, had just started kindergarten and was first to get home. “Like many parents, I picked him up and sat him on the counter so I could hug him and he could show me his school papers. It is one moment in my life I will never forget. When I hugged him, I could smell something in his ear. I couldn’t describe it. It was just something different, and for whatever reason, I would not let it go,” she said. She took him to every ear, nose, and throat doctor in Bismarck. “They all thought I was crazy and prescribed antibiotics, I think just to appease me,” Livinggood said.

She was determined to find someone who believed her and took her son to Fargo. She found Dr. Steven Spotts, who immediately sent them to Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN, where Casey was diagnosed with Stage III Rhabdomyosarcoma, a fast-growing cancer that affects children. There he had his first of many spinal taps, radiation, and chemotherapy treatments.

Before the diagnosis, Casey was an adventurous young boy with a lot of energy. He had blonde hair and bright blue eyes. He loved motorcycles and spending time at the family farm. “Soon, his beautiful blonde hair disappeared, and his eyes weren’t as true blue as they once were,” Livinggood said. However, he never complained. “He just was so accepting,” she said. “It was incredible. He never complained about the chemo and radiation, even though he’d be wiped out and vomiting. I didn’t think much of it at the time. I thought it was normal, how calm he was, but most kids scream and cry – that’s normal. He was so brave.”

The Livinggood family

Casey asked his mother what would happen if the cancer didn’t go away. “We talked about it,” Livinggood said. “He wasn’t afraid of anything.” His immune system was compromised, and his energy was gone. The family pets had to be rehomed, and Livinggood ended the daycare she ran for 15 years.

“The cancer was relentless. It just kept taking more and more of my little boy from me,” she said. Eventually, a hospital bed was set up in their living room. Home health care was hard to come by at that time, so Livinggood learned how to care for Casey herself – everything from catheters to morphine and any other treatments he needed between office visits. Casey kept getting weaker and weaker. Days would go by where he wouldn’t talk and would seldom open his eyes. “I would kneel by his bed and pray for hours, pleading for him to get well. For several days I would beg him to ‘just keep breathing, just keep breathing,’” Livinggood said.

On Monday, July 2, 1990, Casey looked at his mother and very clearly said, “Mom, I’ve seen Jesus three times.” Despite her broken heart, Livinggood replied, “Then go to Him, sweetheart.” Casey passed away peacefully. “I knew he was in good hands,” Livinggood said.

It had been a long time since I had a really good day, but that day I got accepted was right up there as one of my best.

Losing her son gave Livinggood an entirely new perspective on life. Through taking care of him in his last days at home, she knew she was capable of making a difference in the lives of others. She wanted to learn more and help other children suffering from cancer. Just months after Casey passed, Livinggood applied and was accepted into the nursing program at the University of Mary. “It had been a long time since I had a really good day, but that day I got accepted was right up there as one of my best,” Livinggood said.

She felt like she had a new purpose in life. The Sisters and staff at the university welcomed her with open hearts and helped her overcome her grief. She still had four kids at home, and juggling schoolwork and being a mom wasn’t easy. Just two months after Casey passed away, her 7-month-old needed surgery to have a tumor removed from his neck. Luckily it was benign. “It took a lot of prayers,” Livinggood said. “I was grieving over my son’s death, I had two young teenagers, a very active toddler, and a new infant, but the Sisters and staff felt like family. They were there for me.”

Livinggood said her nursing classes were challenging, fulfilling, and exciting. Pursuing her nursing degree helped her take her mind off of missing her little boy. She graduated with her bachelor’s in 1993 and started immediately working as a registered nurse. Although North Dakota had some of the most challenging board exams at the time, she passed on her first try thanks to her Mary education.

“I worked in different areas of the hospital,” she said. “I enjoyed them all, but one day when I was in surgery helping with a C-section for the first time, the doctor opened her abdomen, and I remember seeing that adorable little infant. I was in awe, thinking God really did know what He was doing when He created us. Over the years, I have witnessed many beautiful miracles in my nursing profession, and I am grateful to the university for providing that opportunity for me.”

Livinggood is so grateful to the University of Mary that she’s chosen to leave the university in her will through a planned gift. She thinks it is important to give back. “When I went to the university, I got scholarships, which helped me immensely. And in return, I got a profession where I can help others. So I want to give back because of the scholarships I received when I was there, which meant a great deal to me, and now I’m in a position where I can pay it forward.

“I was in such a dark place after losing my son. My education gave me a purpose and support system. I believe I would have been on a completely different and less fulfilling path in life if I had not achieved my education and degree at the University of Mary,” she said. “I don’t know where I’d be without it. I always say – the University of Mary saved my life.”