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A Teshuvah story: Lisa Bertini Each year, just before the High Holidays, Ohef Sholom Temple features congregants telling their “Journey to Judaism” at three Shabbatot services. On Friday, August 29,
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18 | Jewish News | September 22, 2014 | High Holidays | Jewishnewsva.org
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y journey to Judaism started late in life. My childhood was spent in a resort town in New Jersey. The only diversity existed between the Italian Catholics and the Irish Catholics. I had one Jewish friend in high school. In fact, there was only one Jew in Ocean City High School. She was the Valedictorian. So I had Jewish people stereotyped already. Smart. Super smart. That stereotype has only been reinforced these last 35 years. After law school, I practiced in Dallas. If there was a Jewish lawyer there, I didn’t meet her. So when I met a certain Jack Siegel, then a resident at EVMS, I called my dad to tell him I had met someone special. We were chatting on the phone (this was before texts), and I told him I was dating a doctor who seemed very nice. When he asked his name and I responded, he said, “He’s Jewish.” You have to understand. My parents were born in Italy. Our priest ate dinner at our house on Sundays. My parents attended church every morning. Not just Sundays. I attended Catholic school and Georgetown. I lectured every Sunday at Sunday mass growing up. I knew the wrath of a nun. And no wrath is greater. I asked my dad, “Is that ok?” and he said “What do I care? Is he a good man? Does he have convictions? That’s what we care about.” You can see how blessed I have been. When we decided to marry, we knew we had to make a decision about our children someday. You see I wasn’t going to convert. I actually believe what I had been taught. I love my faith, so why after 31 years would I give up something that is part of me? That would be a real waste of all that Catholic school and CCD classes. Jack completely understood. Jack and I decided that faith had been a huge part of our upbringing and to choose not to make a decision in that regard for our children would be cowardly. That was our opinion. He was raised Conservative. His parents had been raised Orthodox, but decided that was too difficult a path for their child. I was raised Catholic. But before Catholic was overly righteous. Before the abortion debate and the Christian Right.
The good old days when polite folks kept their beliefs private. But perhaps it was just before I met a Jew. Our parents had given us one faith. Not a buffet. We owed our children no less. So, it was our decision to raise the girls Jewish and when I say our decision, I mean mine. I was the one giving up something huge. I said I could do it. I truly believed that nothing about the faith rebuked what I loved. Nothing was anything but dynamic. Frankly, all Christians accept the Old Testament. We just keep going. And someday, if the girls chose differently, at the least they’d have something to reject. We owed them a solid rock foundation. No choosing between parents. No favorites. Be raised Jewish with tolerance toward all other faiths and non-faiths. That was the plan. So, no Christmas at home. Again, my call. I had everything to lose here. Christmas was not trees and gifts and Irving Berlin. It was that, but so much more. Christmas is the birth of Jesus… so no comprising; a tree in our house was not going to cut it. Jack got it. This wasn’t a beauty pageant. All or nothing. I wasn’t going to have kids who thought Christmas was about presents. That would be insulting. We were doing this full on. Jewish meant Jewish. Education. Sunday School. Shabbat every Friday. High Holidays, Bat mitzvahs and Confirmations. When the Christian holidays came, we’d go to my parents’. It was like a birthday party for someone else. Not theirs. Guess what. The girls got it. They never complained that their cousins got all the gifts and they didn’t. In fact, Lucy, when only four years old, told me on one eve of Christmas that she was happy she was Jewish and not Chrismas (that’s how she pronounced Christian), because Santa was creepy. Who breaks into the homes of little children in the middle of the night? Perhaps I had gone too far. But besides that, I thought we did well. In fact, it was adorable a couple of years ago how both girls wanted me to get a tree. I decided against it as I had already given away all my decorations, but they got me an awesome smelling wreath. The point is that I have great kids. They