Fugue 48 - Spring 2015 (No. 48)

Page 53

Hali Fuailelagi Sofala

O LE UPEGA LE TALIFA | A NET THAT CANNOT BE MENDED

—a Samoan Proverb

There are no words that are mine to speak. My tongue wilts behind my teeth. There is no language for the afakasi. When I was young, my dad would teach me Samoan verses to memorize and sing. There are no words that are mine to speak. He’d sit my sisters and me in a row of three and have us count: tolu, lua, tasi. There is no language for the afakasi. When it was my turn, I’d flee, hide in my room as they laughed at me. There are no words that are mine to speak. Each tainted word whispered palagi, betrayed me as half-caste, half-breed. There is no language for the afakasi. I live in the silence of my own defeat, severed from the twin skin of speech. There are no words that are mine to speak. There is no language for the afakasi.

O LE UPEGA LE TALIFA A NET THAT CANNOT BE MENDED | 43


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