Fugue 32 - Winter/Spring 2007 (No. 32)

Page 52

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"So, Doctor, what am I do ing here?" Mac asked again. "Officer, we have a wild animal strapped down and sedated in the O.R. and we have a nurse who was assaulted." "The man-nurse says he wasn't assaulted, doc. And I don't know of any law that says a scientist can't seck help for his sick animal. Joscpi, uncuff this famous person. 1s the an imal okay?" "Yes," Bloomeruhal said. "The heart rhythm was erratic and we lost a pulse for only a minute or more. It's stable now, but I'm not a vet, 1 don't know what's wrong with it. And I sure don't want to be around when it wakes up. We're running an E.R. here, not a zoo." Rhonda and Josepi both snickered at that one. And then Muller said, "Doctor, that animal is not an it. Lange is a he, you boob. He is more a he than you are!" Mac said, "Sir, how did you get your animal here?" "I drove him; we don't live far." "Okay, well then put your animal back in the car before he wakes up, d rive on home, erase this from memory, and we don't have an issue anymore. Otherwise I have to call those Nazis at Animal Control, and it's nothing but a headache for me, paperwork this thick. Besides, it's not my business to tell a man he can't own a monkey if that's what he wants to do. I've seen you on the National Geographic show, and I quite like the monkey." Muller, 1saw, was summoning every last ounce of willpower in order not to detonate over the monkey comment. Josepi had removed the cuffs by this point and Muller was massaging his wrists. Mac said to Rhonda, "Why don't you show me this animal, darling? I've never seen one up close." "He's not a spectacle," Muller said. "He's the noblest of primates! Show some respect, sir. He is who we've come from. Six to eight million years ago, we were him. Do you understand the significance of that? We were him. And since we've split from him we've forsaken all dignity. Just look at yourselves." For a good twenty seconds everyone looked at each other in silence, as if taking in the consummate lack of dignity in that room. Then Muller said, ''l'll retrieve Lange and then be on my way. I've troubled you all enough." "Oh no you don't," Rhonda said. "Not ti ll you fi ll out these forms," and she shoved a clipboard into Mu ller's gut. "And don't think you're getting any special famous-person gorilla rate." Bloomenthal cautioned Muller to seek the proper help for the animal, to which Muller said, "I've been in arrangement with several other scientists to get Lange a transplant. It shouldn't be much longer now." I thought Bloomenthal was going to launch into a vitriolic tirade here, because organ transplants were a particular source of agitation for him. I could almost hear him cry, "A new organ for a monkey! When thousands of children die every year for want of new organs? Oh, the inhumanity of it all!"

so

FUGUE#32


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