Twelve Ways to Steal a Car
One If you find a car without an alarm (check on or near the dash lor a flashing light), just hammer a large flathead screwdriver (l prefer Craftsman) into the keyhole and turn hard, this should break the pins and allow vou 10 turn the chamber which opens the car. Make sure you check the glove compartillelll, dasll, center console, and under the seats-you don't want to wire a car and find the keys Iatel: Cut into the dash and near the ignition find two red wires, clltthem, splice them, and cross them. This only works for older cars however, newer cars have a lock mcchanism that doesn't .1.110\\路 you to turn the wheel 100 far wilhollt the ignition switched. Make sure you wear glO\路es because when you cross those two wires you're dealing with enough mlts from the bauery to leave a mark. Two Jack looked at me with that "'Sure you will" r.1.ce again and I swear to God, I thought I \\~lS going 10 scream. He just gets through fucking me from behind, my parents coming home any minute, skirt hiked up, underwear around my ankles, elbows on the dining room table next to the candle cenle'l)iece I helped my mom set up earlier for dinner, and he gives me thaI look. And when he gives me that smile, lhe St1.me one he gives to my mother when she asks him about his parenls for Christ's sake, I know I'vc had it. So when he steps into the kilchen, wearing only his shil1, and opens the fridge, taking out the milk and drinking right out of the containcr, I take his jeans and walk outside. I take the keys oul of his left front pockel and slide behind the wheel orhis lather's Mustang. I filld a pack of 138
FUGUE #25