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Theatre Department presents

17th Annual Directors’ Theatre Festival April 25–29, 2012 The 17th Annual Directors’ Theatre Festival has grown by leaps and bounds during its sixteen year history. Once again this spring the two theatre spaces on the Chilliwack campus will be buzzing with life and creativity, as student performers from UFV and throughout the province strut-their-stuff on stage. The festival is a fringe-style event, featuring a cornucopia of one-act plays over a five-day period. Theatre lovers will be sure to find something to their liking with an eclectic blend of fare, featuring 23 shows this year. Along with our own talented students, UFV welcomes directors and performers from Capilano University, Thompson Rivers University, Vancouver Island University, and UBC Okanagan.

Festival Sponsors: UFV School of Criminology & Centre for Criminal Justice Research. The Friends of the Theatre.

Festival Angels: Kathy Parsons, Jean and Jim Servizi, Hand in Hand Child Care Society.

Acknowledgments: Clint Hames, Claude Dorion, Jim Strachan, Edie Roche, The Friends of the Theatre.


Theatre Box Office — 604.795.2814; theatre@ufv.ca TICKETS are $5 per show, or 4 shows for $15, PLUS, a special $40 festival pass that includes all 23 shows (Festival Pass must be purchased before 4:30 p.m. on April 27). Tickets can be obtained: • from the UFV Box Office, 8:30 a.m.–4:30 p.m., Monday–Friday • by calling 604.795.2814 using VISA or MasterCard, or by e-mail at theatre@ufv.ca • or at the door prior to each performance (there are only 66 seats in The Studio — patrons are advised to buy tickets for shows in this venue well in advance to guarantee seating). Festival Seating only. Refreshments will be available in the theatre lobby. Performance Schedule Wednesday, April 25— Matinees: 10:30 a.m.–2:35 p.m. THEATRE

STUDIO

11:45–12:45 Mail-order Annie/ Tell Me Another Story, Sing Me a Song 1:40–2:35

Most Massive Woman Wins/ One for the Road

10:30–11:30 Ready to Start 12:50–1:35

Just One Day/Speak Now

Wednesday, April 25 — Previews: 5:30–10:30 p.m. 6:30–7:30

Last Will & Testament

5:30–6:30

Stiff Cuffs

8:00–9:00

The Price/Men Are From Milwaukee Women are From Phoenix/The Cookie

6:50–7:50

The Dinner Party/Darlene

9:30–10:30

Hidden in This Picture/The Field

8:10–9:10

Nothing//Exodus From McDonaldland/ Minneapolis St Paul/

9:30–10:30

Help/At Home

Directors’ Festival 2010

Directors’ Festival 2009


Opening Ceremony — Thursday, April 26 — 4:30 p.m. Thursday, April 26 — 6:30–11:25 p.m. THEATRE

STUDIO

6:30–7:30

Top of 16/Breaking the Chain/ The Wedding Story/After

7:50–9:00

Mexico City/Correct Address/Tickets Please! 7:50–8:30

Unprotected Sex

9:20–10:05

The Death of Me

Capilano New Play Grab Bag 2

6:30–7:30

8:50–9:50

10:25–11:25 Sex, Drugs, and Rock n Roll

Nothing/Exodus From McDonaldland/ Minneapolis St Paul

10:10–11:10 Not Enough Rope/Surprise The Tarantino Variation

Friday, April 27 — 4:30–11:30 p.m. THEATRE

STUDIO

4:30–5:30

All in Little Pieces/Feeding the Moonfish

4:30–5:30

The Faeries Are Thirsty

6:00–7:00

Hidden in This Picture/The Field

6:00–7:00

New Play Grab Bag 3

7:30–8:30

Catch/The Thread Men

7:30–8:30

Ready to Start

9:00–10:00

Last Will & Testament

9:00–10:00

Capilano New Play Grab Bag 2

10:30–11:30 Most Massive Woman Wins/ One for the Road

10:30–11:30 Capilano New Play Grab Bag 1

Saturday, April 28 — Noon–11:50 p.m. THEATRE

STUDIO

Noon–1:00

Mail-order Annie/ Tell Me Another Story, Sing Me a Song

12:00–12:45 Unprotected Sex

1:20–2:20

Last Will & Testament

1:05– 2:05

Help/At Home

2:40–3:25

The Death of Me

2:25–3:25

Capilano New Play Grab Bag 1

3:45-4:55

Mexico City/Correct Address/Tickets Please! 3:45–4:45

The Dinner Party/Darlene

5:15–6:15

Sex, Drugs, and Rock n Roll

5:05–6:05

Nothing/Exodus From McDonaldland/ Minneapolis St Paul

6:35––7:45

Catch/The Thread Men

6:25–7:25

Stiff Cuffs

8:05–9:05

Top of 16/Breaking the Chain The Wedding Story/After

7:45–8:45

Not Enough Rope/Surprise The Tarantino Variation

9:25–10:35

All in Little Pieces/Feeding the Moonfish

9:05–10:05

Just One Day/Speak Now

10:50–11:50 The Price/Men Are from Milwaukee, Women Are From Phoenix/The Cookie

10:25–11:25 The Faeries Are Thirsty


Sunday, April 29 — Noon–10:15 p.m. THEATRE

STUDIO

Noon–1:00

Hidden in This Picture/The Field

12:00–1:00

Help/At Home

1:20–2:20

Sex, Drugs, and Rock n Roll

1:20–2:20

Capilano New Play Grab Bag 3

2:40–3:50

Mexico City/Correct Address/Tickets Please!2:40–3:40

4:10–5:10

Most Massive Woman Wins/ One For the Road

Not Enough Rope/Surprise/ The Tarantino Variation

4:00–4:45

Just One Day/Speak Now

5:30–6:30

The Price/Men Are From Milwaukee, Women Are From Phoenix/The Cookie

5:05–6:05

Stiff Cuffs

6:50–7:50

Mail-order Annie/ Tell Me Another Story, Sing Me a Song

6:25–7:25

Ready to Start

8:10–9:10

Top of 16/Breaking the Chain The Wedding Story/After

7:45–8:45

The Dinner Party/Darlene

9:30–10:15

The Death of Me

9:05–10:05

Unprotected Sex

Media Sponsors 30th Anniversary! Bozzinis’s presents “Tuesday Night Live” featuring the Music of Sean Burns and the comedy of Lori Fergusson. May 15.

Sean Burns

Bring your Directors’ Festival pass or show tickets for 15% off. #4–45739 Hocking Avenue 604-792-0744 www.bozzinisrestaurant.com


Play Descriptions 1. All in Little Pieces, by John Yearley, Thompson Rivers University Total time: 70 minutes Molly is trying to sell Mary a house, Mary isn’t there to buy a house. Mary laments. Mary also cried, drinks, and smokes... Molly and Mary seem to be becoming good friends, until things take a turn. See Molly run. Run, Molly, run. Warning: offensive language 2. Feeding the Moonfish, by Barbara Wiechmann, Thompson Rivers University A pitch black night on a Florida river bank sets the stage for an unexpected rendezvous between an unsatisfied young man and a lost and confused young woman. Will the mysterious moonfish help them find what they are looking for! Warning: offensive language Capilano New Play Grab Bag 1, Capilano University 60 minutes Serious. Cheeky. Puzzling. Bummed out! What will it be? Short plays from Capilano University’s Sacred Space Festival. 60 minutes Capilano New Play Grab Bag 2, Capilano University Haters. Lovers. Gods. Comics! Who will they be? Short plays from Capilano University’s Sacred Space Festival. Capilano New Play Grab Bag 3, Capilano University 60 minutes On Stage. In an elevator. In Scotland. In a hospital! Where will they be? Short plays from Capilano University’s Sacred Space Festival. 1. Catch, by James McAndrew, Thompson Rivers University Total time: 70 minutes Do you know what you are capable of? do you really know the love of your life? This is the journey of a boy and a girl: how they met, their love, and the twists fate throws at them. Warning: offensive language. 2. The Thread Men, by Thomas C. Dunn, Thompson Rivers University When the elevator jolts, unexpectedly stops, it’s only then the the real descent begins. It is a descent into the depths and darkness of a faceless world. hell hangs by a thread. Warning: offensive language and violence The Death of Me, by Norm Foster; directed by Tim Howe, UFV 45 minutes A man gets a chance at a do-over of his own death; he gets the opportunity to overcome his biggest flaws and to die with some dignity. Total time: 50 minutes 1. The Dinner Party, by Rose Cullis; directed by Cait Archer, UFV Two women in a long-term relationship wait for their perpetually late friends to arrive for a dinner party. The evening heats up as their communication breaks down, and they explore their love for, frustration with, and dependence on each other. Warning: Sexuality, coarse and/or sexual language, booty shakin’. 2. Darlene, by A.R. Gurney; directed by Dylan Coulter, UFV A married couple explore the discovery of a mysterious and disturbing letter. Could the resulting intrigue prove to be the excitment that their marriage has been lacking? Warning: Sexual themes and some profanity The Faeries Are Thirsty, by Denise Boucher, Vancouver Island Universtiy 60 minutes An abstract, 1960s Francophone Feminist Piece. Through use of archetypes and poetry, it explores the themes of femininity, subserviance, and love, through the eyes of a Mother, a Whore, and The Statue of the Virgin Mary. Warning: some coarse language, strong sexual themes, and heavy feminist themes


1. Help, by Neena Beber; directed by Lisa Apps, UFV Total time: 50 minutes Two women, who work in a soup kitchen, have differing views about how to help people in need. Can you decide what is the right way to help? 2. At Home, by Michael Weller; directed by Astrid Beugeling, UFV Paul and Carol are the “Perfect Couple” according to their friends, but are they really? As they spend the evening preparing to entertain a couple for the night, things become a bit unravelled. Come and watch them discover new things about themselves and each other. Warning: coarse language and some sexual content Total time: 60 minutes 1. Hidden in This Picture, by Aaron Sorkin; directed by Josh Tompke, UFV At the end of the worst movie shoot in history, there is only one shot remaining. This continual 11½ minute shot consists of 694 extras running down a hill in full military gear at sunset. Nothing can go wrong. Hijinks ensue. Warning: constant and gleeful profanity 2. The Field, by Robert Spera; directed by Ron Jackson, UFV Two soldiers make their way through a field.

Warning: weapons, strong language, and racial slurs

1. Just One Day, by Eddie Kennedy; directed by Catrina Lewis, UFV 16-year old Emily and her 17-year old ex-boyfriend have a conversation about their unborn baby.

Total time: 45 minutes

2. Speak Now, by Seth Kramer; directed by Cassy Penner, UFV It’s Casey’s wedding day and she’s stuck up on a roof with Harold. Will she get down in time or will what’s supposed to be the best day of her life be completely ruined? 45 minutes Last Will & Testament, UBC Okanagan You have passed away and this is your funural. Any last requests? as for me, please spit in my urn and field kick it once you are done with it. Thank you. Warning: mature content 1. Mail-order Annie, by Carl C. Cashin; directed by Danielle Milette, UFV Total time: 60 minutes It’s 1923 and Annie O’Ryan has travelled from urban Ontario to rural Saskatchewan to marry John Proctor, a man she knows only through his letters. Was this a smart choice? Come and find out! Warning: heartwarming fun for people of all ages. 2. Tell Me Another Story, Sing Me A Song, by Jean Lenox Toddie, directed by Jennifer Zacharias, UFV A heart-warming exploration of the relationship between a mother and her daughter and the changes that occur in their relationship at various stages in their lives. Suitable for all audiences. 1. Mexico City, by Hannah Moscovitch, Thompson Rivers University A suburban couple on a quest to discover the Real Mexico end up discovering much, much more...

Total time: 70 minutes

2. Correct Address, by Judd Lear Silverman, Thompson Rivers Univesity After two “roommates” part ways, they reminisce about their past, their feelings, and about what their future may hold. Warning: offensive language 3. Tickets Please!, by Anthony Sportiello, Thompson Rivers Univesity Barbara, a high-powered business woman, is on the train on her way to work. A stranger attempts to force her to re-evaluate her life. Will Barbara dismiss the stranger’s warning or change the course of her life forever? Warning: offensive language


1. The Most Massive Woman Wins, by Madeline George; directed by Gabby Bohmerl, UFV Total time: 45 minutes The Most Massive Woman Wins is a comedy about four women that takes place in the waiting room of a liposuction clinic. Although they each have their own problems, they all have more in common than they realize. Warning: one or two F-Bombs. 2. One For the Road, by Harold Pinter; directed by Megan Davies, UFV When technology spreads too far, the social networking we believed to be an outlet for freedom of speech and expression becomes our downfall; instead it becomes the means by which governments control and regulate their citizens, inhibiting those freedoms we valued. A rebellious hero named Victor speaks out against oppression and citizen indifference, when he and his family are arrested and brought to a political prison to face punishment and perhaps conformity: will Victor hand over his freedom of speech to save his family? 1. Not Enough Rope, by Elaine May; directed by Aaron Froc, UFV Total time: 60 minutes This dark comedy centres around the neurotic Edith. She is delighted at the arrival of her new neighbour, Claude, and promptly asks him for rope so that she can hang herself. Hilarity ensues with their interactions as they bicker about rope, twine, and the pursuit of happiness. In their squabbles they have to be careful to not wake the cantankerous Mrs. Pierce. Warning: serious themes concerning suicide and a whole lot of crazy. 2. The Tarantino Variation, by Seth Kramer; directed by Thomas Smith, UFV Three assassins meet in an alleyway, all wanting to kill each other.

Warning: swearing and gun wielding

3. Surprise, by Mark Harvey Levine; directed by Thomas Smith, UFV A psychic takes his girlfriend out to dinner, having already seen into the future and knowing she’s about to break up with him. Warning: mind reading 1. Nothing, by Evdokimps Tsolakidis; directed by Eli Funk, UFV Total time: 60 minutes Four people unwittingly create something out of nothing and discover just how provocative an empty stage can be. Warning: mild language, use of firearms 2. Exodus from McDonaldland, by Jason Milligan; directed by Jennifer Gertz, UFV A salesman is trying to sell a living room set to a newlywed couple who, together are trying to combat the husband’s radical devotion to his job as a McDonald’s quality control manager. Warning: some violence and mature subject matter. 3. Minneapolis St. Paul, by Julia Jordon; directed by Jennifer Gertz, UFV Two teenagers, who have a passionate obsession with their favority rock band, form a relationship because of their unifying bond. Warning: mature subject matter, coarse language, and sexual content. 1. The Price, by Shem Bitterman, and Total time: 60 minutes 2. Men Are From Milwaukee Women Are From Phoenix, by Lynda Robinson; directed by Steve Wilhite, UFV Relationships are hard, starting them, keeping them going. When believing that love will keep you alive isn’t enough, what else is there? 3. The Cookie, by Rosemarie Stewart; directed by Renee Reeve, UFV Dave suffers from an emotional obsession with eating cookies, causing much frustration to his girlfriend Mavis, who is trying to get intimate with him. Will they “do the dirty” or will Dave’s cookies win out over sex? Check out this quirky comedy! Warning: sexual content Ready to Start, written and performed by Ali Shewan; directed by Megan Mackenzie, UFV Alumnus 60 minutes What do Robert Munsch, Lord of the Rings, Led Zeppelin, and Shakespeare all have in common? Warning: minimal coarse language and some mature themes. Recommended for ages 13 and over.


Sex, Drugs, and Rock n Roll, by Eric Bogosian, Vancouver Island University 60 minutes Set wherever you see fit, this is a tongue in cheek look at daily life in all forms. A monologue show, it features points of view from a homeless person, a jaded paranoid artist, a hardened business man, and a cocky frat boy. It gives you a reality check of the world around you while keeping you entertained and thoughtful at the same time. Warning: some strong language and mention of sexuality Stiff Cuffs, by Christina Cocek and John D’Aquino; directed by Colleen Plenert, UFV 60 minutes Stiff Cuffs is about two people who happen to be in the same place, at the same time...simultaneously. Billy is waiting for the woman of his dreams; Haynes just wants to finish her laundry in peace. Warning: coarse language Total time: 60 minutes 1. The Top of 16, by Ken Dashow; directed by Melissa Harris, UFV An actor and actress are rehearsing a scene for a terrible play, but things just keep going wrong. Yet the director continues to beg for commitment – that is until he gets a call from Broadway asking him to start work on a musical immediately. With their director gone, will the actors continue to rehearse for this horrendous production? Warning: a gun is wielded (not fired), heavy swearing 2. Breaking the Chain, by Michael Bigelow Dixon and Val Smith; directed by Ali Shewan, UFV Would you rather win a dream estate on Lake Tahoe or have your nose bit off by a bassett hound? The answer may seem simple, but it all depends on your opinion of chain letters. 3. The Wedding Story, by Julianne Homokay; directed by Melissa Harris, UFV A hug-inspiring Storyteller relays the tale of the perfect Bride and the perfect Groom and their perfect wedding. Her characters take on a life of their own and as they attempt to tell their version of the stotry, we learn that their wedding wasn’t so perfect alfter all. Warning: mild swearing and sexual language 4. After, by Carol K. Mack, directed by Ali Shewan, UFV Ever wanted to know what “happily ever after” looks like? Unprotected Sex, by Matt Morillo; directed by Mandy Dyck, UFV 45 minutes It’s a typical Tuesday night, Brian and Joe are watching the Canucks game and Brian is schooling Joe on the proper conducts of the evening. Rachel, who has just started to take birth control, comes in and disrupts the boys fun. Warning: swearing, boobs, beer, and hockey!!

Opening Ceremonies 2011

Directors Festival Schedule and Descriptions  

Directors Theatre Festival