17 minute read
On the Sexual Assault Protest
from Summer 2021
The Blackout
Summer 2021
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On the Sexual Assault Protest
by Anonymous
As you may have noticed, the topic of sexual forms on campus recently: a petition trying to change the complaints procedure at the UU, various conversations started by UCSA candidates during campaign season, UCU confessions, an email from our new dean, and most recently, a protest on the quad, organized by the Enactus board ‘Emperiod’. Within a day, messages of a protest on the quad were spread over various forms of social media, and hopes were raised for an impactful event, daring to open up the constructive conversation of sexual assault and its impacts on our campus and its inhabitants. I’m unsure what the main expectations were for those who intended to attend, but I doubt they much resembled the actual events that took place.
Depending on the time of day protestors decided to attend, the general vibes seemed were met by a friend group of girls discussing some party, and only when they realized they had company, paused to explain the idea of pinning a ribbon to the sheet and writing either your name or a message to ‘the people who have been sexually assaulted’. Those who checked out the protest later in the day encountered a larger gathering, consisting mainly of frat boys and sorority girls watching as you were invited to pin either a blue ribbon (out of support) or purple ribbon (if you yourself have been a victim of sexual assault) to the now slightly more crowded sheet.
Now, before I go into any further detail as to how this protest missed the mark for some students, especially those who have been impacted by sexual assault, I want to stress that I genuinely do not think this protest was organized with anything other than good intent. As I mentioned before, the organizers may have noticed the topic of sexual assault taking up more space in casual conversation than usual, period poverty and empowering those who experience periods, as per their Instagram, that they wanted to organize an event in which the topic was a focal point. As the events of the day unfolded, however, many aspects proved to be more harmful than helpful for those meant to feel empowered through the good will of the organizers.
The question remains whether the events of that day, which lead to a lingering sense of unease for some protest attendees, could have been foreseen, if not prevented. For one, (un) intentionally choosing a mattress cover as the focal point of your protest against sexual assault on campus is at best an unfortunate accident, at worst, an incredibly inappropriate and triggering statement.
Regardless of the availability of a large surface of fabric in the days leading up to this, the weight attached to using and interacting with a part of a bed in this kind of protest should not be placed on anyone who participates. Previous protests against sexual assault that featured ered and thought-out in their impact, while also soliciting response and either way, meaning to have a lasting impact on attendees. Take for example Columbia alumna Emma Sulkowicz, who subjected herself to the weight of her dorm room mattress wherever she went on campus as an analogy to the weight she was forced to carry as a sexual assault victim. Was the choice to use the mattress cover at the Emperiod protest similarly intended to shock and impact students in tandem with the idea of ‘creating a safe space’ ? A safe space for exactly those students triggered by such a direct allusion to the event at the basis of their lasting trauma? Tracing this into the future, no student, regardless of their personal experiences with sexual assault, should have to be confronted with a mattress cover, loaded with this weight and connotations to sexual assault, study session in dining hall. There are other, safer ways in which the conversation can be kept going apart from the current plan of hanging it up in a public building, as an Emperiod member mentioned in a Facebook post on UCU students.
Another important issue to discuss is the ribbons. No mention was made in any social media announcement before the protest that there would be blue ribbons for support and purple ribbons for actual victims. At the protest itself it was also not consistently mentioned. Imagine putting a purple ribbon next to your name while not being a sexual assault victim. The other way around is just as harmful, where a sexual assault victim puts down a blue ribbon, and perhaps later on feels guilty about not standing up to their assaulter, or alongside those meanings had been disclosed beforehand, what was the intention behind giving this choice in the outcomes of a scenario in which there are no bystanders, the real situation forced protestors to make a choice on what they felt comfortable disclosing to all of campus. As one can imagine, this proved to be extremely triggering as a victim of sexual assault.
After making their way through the onlooking crowd, protestors were met by a couple of frat guys, boasting about how they are in talks on ‘bettering themselves’ in becoming more ‘aware and informed’ on sexual assault. The fact that fraternities are taking steps in recognizing their responsibilities with regards to sexual assault is not a bad thing! However, some members publicly (and loudly) vocalizing this in what is supposed to be a safe place for victims, comes across more as saving face, and making a situation about you. It is a full 180 from some of them publicly socializing with and hugging known perpetrators, leaving doubts as to what their actual stance on assault on campus is. Do they understand how openly continuing to associate with known perpetrators of sexual assault sends message that they don’t care about them, and that they will continue to choose the perpetrator over them? Choosing the perpetrator over the victim has been a reoccurring trend also seen at College Hall, of course.
This article is truly not intended as an anonymous attack towards the organizers of the protest (or fraternities, for that matter). The message I hope you take away from this is to carefully consider your decisions when organizing events such as this one. Ask yourself exactly why you want to get involved in topics like this. Educate yourself on the subject matter. Consider choices that may seem small and unimportant, as the impacts they may have on others can be much larger than you can predict. If they’re comfortable, speak to those for whom the topic has had a larger impact on their lives, if you haven’t could improve on your idea. Instead of taking the foreground in discussions such as these, maybe allow them more space on the platform you create for yourself, and let them say their bit to avoid your message getting lost in translation. Most importantly, set the necessary boundaries to make sure that those you’re organizing your event for do not feel unsafe, uncomfortable, or unwelcome. Lastly, set a clear goal to the event: if attendees know what you’re aiming to achieve, wondering whether this was a self-promotion event.
Response From the Organizers of the Protest
Dear author and campus, We would like to apologize for our protest unintentionally hurting or triggering people. Our purpose was to show support to the victims on campus, that they are being heard and that many are open for conversation and want to see consequences. Additionally, it was also targeted towards the college administration to show how important the issue is to the student body. We wanted to create a space where people felt heard and tried to start a conversation between students and the administration. We were very happy with the support of the student body and grateful for those who shared their stories with us. Therefore, it was painful to hear that we unintentionally triggered and would like to apologize for it. In the future we will incorporate more perspectives, vices and details at our next events. As a group of girls who work on improving the stance of women in society, the sexual assault discussion was something very close to our hearts. as a promotion for our project and therefore did not mention the project during the protest. We emphasized that this day would only be about our support for the victims and our hopes for change on campus by students and the administration. As mentioned the article of course hit us very hard, as the protest and the positive responses were very dear to our hearts but of course we understand the criticism and want to learn from it. In the future we would prefer to receive feedback privately but we of course understand that it is a sensitive topic and therefore the writer has good reasons to not contact us directly. We would therefore like to invite anyone who has any other concerns, criticism, or improvements to contact us either personally or through the QR code given here, which will be anonymous. Warm regards, Anna, Claire, Inés and Sophie
Why Graduation Speeches are Lame
by Kocs 2898
Like almost every other educational institution, UCU has a tradition of students giving speeches at the Commencement Ceremony. These speeches often carry inspirational or meaningful messages, helping parents tear up or causing classmates to hug one another after the speech is given. Now, before all of you start going gushy and imagine wearing your gown, we have to acknowledge that these speeches are useless, forceful, and quite often, boring and corny. There are so many reasons why these speeches tend to be abhorrent, but let me tell you about the ones that make me want to puke my guts out.
"this last year and a half has been nothing but a merry time of intense polarization, Facebook people generally despising each other for seemingly no reason"
For sure, there will be mentions of the ‘community’, which is interesting, considering the fact that this last year and a half has been nothing but a merry time of intense polarization, Facebook people generally despising each other for seemingly no reason. We really disappointed each other in these last few semesters, but also showed everyone (even the police, yes) that there is not much solidarity or sense of responsibility towards each other here. When we have failed to be a community other than the fact that we exchange spices over UCU students, I think it is unreal and phony that these speeches will invoke this sentiment that we all want to pretend to exist.
"now as surprising as it sounds, a lot of us are not going to end the climate crisis or abolish capitalism"
Next up is the great ways and life paths that we will all supposedly travel. Now as surprising as it sounds, a lot of us are not going to end the climate crisis or abolish capitalism.
"I really thought I would not graduate in peace without gratuitously thanking every single peer of mine who has ever granted my midnight cuddle requests"
"we will grow up and do great things, but not all of us may end up having a dedicated Wikipedia page"
It is kind to encourage others and to say something nice related to the future, but these speeches are sometimes promising a little too much, making our parents think we are ready to pay taxes, even leaving some of us with a feeling of anxiety.
I think speech-givers almost feel the pressure to say something glorious about life after this byre, but you can also change the world low-key. We will grow up and do great things, but not all of us may end up having a dedicated Wikipedia page.
Finally, I would like to thank everyone for taking the time to read this article. It is clear that this message, from me to you, this thank you, will come across perfectly and will serve you as you have apparently served me throughout my years at this institution. I really thought I would not graduate in peace without gratuitously thanking every single peer of mine who has ever granted my midnight cuddle requests. I truly, TRULY could not have done this without you. Thank you for enrolling in UCU.
My Friend was Accused of Sexual Assault
by Anonymous
I remember exactly when and where I was vine casually, like normal matter-of-fact gossip. “X said that Y sexually assaulted them.” I remember how I froze up. Thinking I must have misheard, thinking surely they’re not referring to my friend Y, no way. “That’s what everyone’s saying. Apparently-” Things went a bit fuzzy when the details came in and I remember feeling slightly sick. I excused myself and went to throw up in the bathroom.
"there I was, the piece of shit friend of the piece of shit assaulter, unable to fully believe the rumours"
I didn’t know what to do after that. I tried to do research, but nothing I read was of any help. Hey Google, what do you do when your friend’s been accused of sexual assault? After a few days of sitting on it, I decided I had to confront my friend Y. We met up and I blurted things out, a ramble of everything I had heard. I don’t know what I thought was going to happen, maybe for them to react with immediate guilt? Shame? Fear? For them to acknowledge something? The last thing I expected was the mangled expression of shock and confusion. They had no idea what I was referring to. “Sure, X and I didn’t have the most conventional arrangements, but we’ve always been civil with each other… I don’t know where this is coming from?” Y and I talked for hours, hashing over details and trying to understand how what I heard might have happened. We went over what-ifs and hypotheticals, only to end up exhausted, frustrated, and worried. I didn’t tell my friend this, but I knew that they could be pushy when drunk. I knew that they could be tactless at times, but sexual assault..? I felt dirty after our talk. I’d read enough articles, news items, and Instagram infographics to know that in these situations you’re always supposed to support the victim, but there I was, the piece of shit friend of the piece of shit assaulter, unable to fully believe the rumours.
I still didn’t know what to do. Talking with my friend seemed to make things worse, as nothing was really cleared up. I wanted to hate my friend, but I found it hard to reconcile what I heard with the person I thought I knew. I sat on it some more and wondered if I ought to reach out to X as well. I was losing sleep over this whole thing and I wanted to cross-check the facts. It X a message anyway. X agreed to meet up and we awkwardly got to talking. X was surprisingly open about what happened and I was determined to do this thing right, with #MeToo slogans like ‘always believe survivors’ and ‘never silence survivors’ still fresh in my mind. X’s side of the story ended up checking out with bits of what Y and I had talked about as well as some of the rumours. X was hurt and angry. While they didn’t think Y was an inherently bad person, the damage had been done. It was hard to sit through that conversation because as much as I listened to and supported X, I was painfully aware of how hard it was to suppress my gut feeling of still wanting to protect and defend my friend. Looking back now, I’m not sure if I managed that conversation appropriately, but I’m still glad it happened.
"I was determined to do this thing right, with #MeToo slogans like ‘always believe survivors’ and ‘never silence survivors’ still fresh in my mind" I will never know exactly what happened between X and Y, I can only accept that the truth is somewhere in between. Despite my friend genuinely believing their actions were misunderstood, they still committed an act of sexual violence that ended up hurting someone else. We can talk all day about how sexual misconduct is a complicated issue, how there are always two sides to every story, and how each I think that the discomfort in confronting individuals is still a culturally novel but necessary part of restructuring how we deal with sexual misconduct. My friend has since shown genuine remorse regarding what happened and makes a point of educating themselves, but it’s still hard to accept that even the people closest to you are capable of doing bad things. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about whether I could stay friends with someone who did something bad, and am heard the rumour. I still love and support my friend because I feel like what happened does not represent who they are as a person, but I also hold them accountable for what they did. When something like this happens so close to home, you no longer have the privilege of not having to talk or engage with the issue.
"it’s not as simple as an animation
I think back to the introweek sexual misconduct workshop we all did and can’t help but feel a little cheated. I realize now that it’s not as simple as an animation comparing consent interactive discussions, so that they can be both empowered and educated on the nuances of healthy sexual relations. Sex-ed doesn’t stop after learning how a condom works in year 6, nor should higher education institutions shy away from including sex-ed resources and guidance as a part of the mandatory curriculum (especially on a residential campus like ours). sexual misconduct policy, but I can’t help but wish it had happened sooner for X and Y. I’m glad more people are coming forward with their stories, but it's sobering to realize how much still needs to be done.
“Will not miss: essays which I will the for-get the whole content of after I handed them in!”–Maren
“Miss most: smoking joints on the quad in the sun Miss least: waking up for 11am Friday class after a hefty Thursday" – Senan
“Miss most: the barrrr Miss least - picking up cringe catchphrases"
“nothing for both” – Aysu
" what ill miss most is dinner on the quad when it’s sunny out and what ill miss least is paying so much rent for a unit that is falling apart" - Loïs "most: the random interactions with people on campus - least: perhaps it would be nice to not be part of a cult" - Willem
Least missed: Sam Most missed: Sam - all your favorite Sams
“To both: The Boomerang (jk)” - Stanley
“i'm gonna miss being close to the homies and vending machines, and not going to miss having only one functional toilet :/” – Georgie “I’ll miss the bar and boomerang the most Will not miss UCU bureaucracy” – Rafaella “ what i will miss the most - housing security what I will miss at least - living with Equi” – Gana
“Miss the most: UCSA and its committees, miss the least: cleaning schedules” - Max
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Stanley Ward | Editor-in-Chief Giulia Martinez-Brenner | Managing Editor Ivan Ryan | Executive Editor Sam de Visser | Executive Editor Noor Hofs | Layout Manager Art Director Senan Cullinane | PR Manager Boomerang uses wind energy printers
