COOKIE by T'WORDS

Alice Fuzi Wang Miz Penner-Hashimoto

MOM. Alex says we’re all invited to his musical. GRACE. 無理. I’m not gonna watch my nine-year-old brother sing and dance for two hours. DAD. そんな事無いよ. He’s making it up himself. It’s going to be more like ten minutes. GRACE. I’m hanging out with Mina anyway. ALEX. I didn’t say when it was! You don’t know that you’re hanging out with Mina then. MOM. She’s always hanging out with Mina. When is it, then? GRACE. I thought you didn’t like musicals, Mom. MOM. せっかくだから... ALEX. Um.... well. I haven’t ﬁnished it yet. DAD. Let me know when it is, and I’ll clear my schedule. MOM. Yes, you need to tell those kids you teach to suck it, because Alex Matsumoto’s musical is coming to town. DAD. ハイハイ.

ALEX. Did you and Mina fight? GRACE. No. ALEX. Then why haven’t you seen her this week? Last week you said you couldn’t come to my musical because you were going to hang out with her. GRACE. I can’t go to your musical because you haven’t finished it yet. ALEX. I’m trying to figure out how to make the living room look like a proper stage. GRACE. Mina got a boyfriend. ALEX. Oh. GRACE. Yeah. ALEX. Is he cool? GRACE. No. ALEX. Are you mad at Mina? GRACE. No.

DAD. で? MOM. Benign. DAD. よかった. What next? MOM. Nothing. Biopsyで全部取れたって. DAD. So it’s all gone. MOM. They don’t have that in the Game of Life. Scary tests where you might have breast cancer. DAD. Do you want some tea? MOM. Do they get ill in that game? I can’t remember. I just remember a lot of insurance. DAD. That’s similar to real life. DAD. Tea? MOM. The pegs can’t get breast cancer. They don’t have peg breasts. DAD. お茶だよ.

MOM. Are you going to tell us about school? GRACE. It’s boring. Why? You never ask about it. MOM. Well, I thought it would be nice. GRACE. Did you? ALEX. Can we talk about the owl poop I got to look through in science today? MOM. 食事中はダメ. ALEX. But it’s not gross, it was all dried, like cotton balls. It’s not gross. Apart from the bones of mice and stuﬀ, I guess. GRACE. That’s cool. Dad, you need to talk too, otherwise it’s not a family conversation. DAD. Hmm? GRACE. 話聞いてた? MOM. He wasn’t. DAD. I was. We’re talking about Alex’s musical.

お母さんへお元気ですか。サンノゼは少し涼しくなってきましたが、今の時期は乾燥していて比較的過ごしやすいです。アレックスはミュージカルにハマっていて、今度自分で作ったショーを見せてくれる予定。と言っても、ステージはリビングのソファですが... グレースは思春期なのか、不機嫌で無口なことが多くなってきた気がします。あんまり学校の話はしてくれませんが、友達のミーナとは仲良しで、よく家に呼んでいます。先週末、家族でサンフランシスコのゴールデンゲートブリッジ公園に行きました。写真を添付しますね。お母さんも身体に気をつけてください。では。真理子

ALEX. Can we play 大富豪? GRACE. You can’t play it with two people, it’ll be really boring. ALEX. Okay then. GRACE. What about Speed? Or we could play Uno instead. ALEX. I like Speed. GRACE. I’ll shuﬄe. Are any of your friends coming to see your musical? ALEX. No. They’ll think I’m weird. GRACE. Well, you do send postcards to your stuﬀed animals. ALEX. But it was a really nice postcard! GRACE. I’ll tell Mina to come. If I ever see her again. ALEX. I bet her new boyfriend sucks. GRACE. Ready? せーの...

DAD. How’s the musical going, Alex? MOM. Oh no, are you going to give him advice? ALEX. I’m stuck. MOM. Maybe you should start with something smaller, like a poem. ALEX. I made up two songs. Mom is going to accompany me on the keyboard. MOM. He’s making me practice three hours a day. ALEX. I’m not! DAD. You need 起承転結. ALEX. Oh, I know that one. Beginning, then something like the ﬁrst big thing, then something else happens, then the end. MOM. Is that the ことわざ that came from Ancient Chinese poetry? GRACE. Actually, Mom, technically it’s a 四字熟語. MOM. I knew that.

GRACE. つかれたつかれたつかれたつかれたつかれたつかれたつかれたつかれたつかれたつかれたつかれた MOM. ご飯食べる?

ALEX. Mom, what does ‘benign’ mean? MOM. What? ALEX. I heard you and Dad talking about it. MOM. Oh. You don’t have to worry about it. 別に大丈夫. ALEX. I know it’s 大丈夫, I just want to know what ‘benign’ means. I tried to look it up in the dictionary, but I didn’t ﬁnd it. MOM. It has a ‘g’. A silent g. b-e-n-i-g-n. It means not bad. Nice. ALEX. So you had a nice lump. MOM. That’s right. ALEX. よかった. MOM. うん. ALEX. Can we practice one of my songs? MOM. もちろん!

ALEX. Did you make a wish? GRACE. Yes. MOM. What did you wish for? GRACE. I’m not supposed to tell you. ALEX. Otherwise it doesn’t come true! DAD. What about 有言実行? You say it, then you do it. ALEX. Why d’you have to say it? Can’t you just do it? MOM. I never understood it either. DAD. I’m never saying anything ever again. MOM. He’s sulking! DAD. Stop laughing at me. GRACE. I can’t, it’s funny. And it’s my birthday.

MOM. Did you ﬁnish yesterday’s newspaper? DAD. うん.

MOM. Can you put it in the recycling? DAD. I’m not done with it.

MOM. You said you ﬁnished it. DAD. I did, but I want to go back and look at the sports page again. MOM. そうですか... DAD. そうです.

MOM. I guess Mina broke up with her boyfriend, huh? I get it. I went through lots of boyfriends when I was a teenager. ALEX. Now you can marry Mina, Grace. MOM. Very funny. GRACE. Yes. Funny. Very funny. ALEX. Why are you glaring at me? GRACE. Hey, we’re looking forward to your musical later. Can’t believe you ﬁnished it. MOM. Turns out you only need four songs. DAD. See. 起承転結. I was right. MOM. Can you make up another song, just so Dad isn’t right? GRACE. “This last song is called, My Mom Says Dad Can Never Be Right.” ALEX. But it wouldn’t go with the story. MOM. It goes with every story.