Exploring Bisexuality In a Relationship Just because you’re monogamous doesn’t mean you’re straight.
STORY: Nicole Trinidad PHOTO: Elyssa Ruiz DESIGN: Nicole Eltagonde
Advice that I wish I had been given when I first started exploring my bisexuality is that feeling comfortable with your sexual orientation is like a journal that changes over time. It took years of overcoming societal expectations and failed relationships, yet I’m still on that path of understanding and self-acceptance. It didn’t take long for me to realize that being in a relationship doesn’t secure a label on my sexuality. It’s very common for people in relationships to still not know what they identify with. Here’s some advice for those who have had or are currently having those doubts.
Self-Reflection/Weighing Your Values Navigating sexual orientation is different for everyone. It goes beyond just what gender you have feelings for, but also how you are attracted to them. It’s important to consider your boundaries and desires. What does discovering your sexuality mean to you?
For Eden Sather, a senior psychology major at CSUF, being open to change with your sexuality from partner to partner is normal and should be welcomed. “I think somebody who really is bisexual will come to their own conclusion like, ‘I might be in a heteronormative, or I might be in a lesbian presenting relationship right now. But I still like this other gender,’” explained Sather. 36
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SEX & GENDER
Sather also shares that not only is she bisexual, she also realized she no longer desires to be in monogamous relationships. Bisexuality brought her awareness that she doesn’t want to be in just one relationship for the rest of her life, but instead ethically be in multiple. So for those still navigating who they like, it’s important to ask: Do I need to be romantically or sexually involved with others to feel secure with my sexuality? How do I feel in queer environments? What issues do I have in understanding my identity? Answering these questions shows how you stand in your relationship and can help you feel most satisfied overall.
