Finding My Identity and Reclaiming My Culture

Words by Janice McNutt

MY NAME IS JANICE MCNUTT. I did not have the privilege to grow up in the community my anaanak Mamie Peffer was born in the Delta region. She did not pass down her culture or language to my mother and her siblings, who did not have the privilege of growing up in Mamie’s community either.

I often wonder if I would be accepted in what I consider my homelands if I were to go up. It was difficult growing up being that my father and grandfathers are not Inuit, leaving me with white skin and some Inuk features. When I would try to be friends with the other Indigenous students, all through grade school— and even today—it creates challenges because I look different than they do, but in my heart, I am like them.

With the loss of culture and language growing up, as a 30-year-old adult today, I now know how important it is to be immersed in the rich culture we are born from. It would have been great to have learned about my heritage as a child. To some Inuit, I may be frowned upon for saying this, but I do identify as an Inuk and it makes me feel proud. I currently live in Halifax, Nova Scotia. In early 2019, a new Inuit program started up in my community. The program in Halifax is the Atelihai Inuit Program, which started up a few months ago. So far, we have had Labrador dialect language classes, and currently have ongoing Inuktutit language classes. The language classes have been amazing because I can speak some of the language now and I can read fairly well. The program even has country food such as caribou, ‘nikku’ (dried meat), and Arctic char. We had a gathering this past summer in Antigonish and it was unbelievable—nearly 100 Inuit from across the Maritimes came for the 2-day event! During that event, there were activities including sealskin mitten-making, wood carvings, ‘kulik’ lightings, and even Elder stories.

Some other things I’m grateful for from the program are the craft classes. I have learned to bead, and it was unbelievable how well I took to it—now I cannot stop. My favourite feeling is when somebody is wearing a sealskin pendant that I made.

If it was not for this program, I wouldn’t have been able to learn what hasn’t been passed down to me from the last 2 or 3 generations—I wouldn’t have found my sense of identity and my soul. I am happy and proud to pass on what I am learning to my two children. In my community of Halifax, when I go to the Inuit and Aboriginal programs, I feel accepted and acknowledged when they call me an Inuk. I think about how proud my great-grandmother and grandmother would be if they knew what I was doing to learn about my heritage. It will be a difficult task to learn everything as an adult, but it gives me a really great sense of pride in bringing the culture back and passing it on to my children. I can’t wait to see where we end up in the future! Most of all, I’m forever grateful to learn all of this and be able to teach my children what has been lost on my side of the family for two generations—it is a powerful thing.

I would like to thank the Atelihai Inuit Program from the bottom of my heart and all of the volunteers who have taught us so far. Thank you for listening to my story. Nakumeek! Koana!