TALK EARLY, TALK OFTEN Whether one’s parents are planners or free spirits, a discussion about housing post-retirement is inevitable. Before a choice is made due to an illness or situation out of a parent’s control, it’s advantageous for adult children to talk early and often with their parents about their future plans, says Carol Carter at LIFE Senior Services. “There’s not a magic method,” she says. “It’s different for every family. But it’s really best if it starts from a larger conversation about what your parents’ desires are as they age and what they foresee for their future.” Here are some methods using real-life scenarios she recommends to help start that conversation: • If a friend or family member has recently moved to a retirement home, ask your parent how he/she likes it. What was their impression? What was the friend’s opinion?
Asbury Inverness Village residents Lois McMillan, William Horkey and Ann Johnson take a tai chi class, one of many fitness opportunities at the community. Continued from p. 110
Montereau Retirement Community
Saint Simeon’s
POPULATION: 557 SERVICES: Independent living, assisted living, long-term nursing care, memory care and rehab care FEES: Refundable entrance fees start at $258,000, and monthly fees start at $2,151.
POPULATION: 175 SERVICES: Early memory care, memory care for mid-late stage dementia/Alzheimer’s disease, health care center (highest level of care); seven independent living cottages FEES: No buy-in; costs range from $3,000 to $7,500 per month, depending on the level of care.
In her 16 years working at Montereau, Marketing Director Jamie Townsend says she has seen a lot of changes — from requests for more choices in housing styles, to which spouse makes those choices. “It’s amazing how our residents have changed,” she says. “What I’ve noticed most is, when I was first working with clients, many times the husband was making the most decisions. Now the females, who also have had experience in the workforce, are the decision-makers.” The Baby Boomer generation is also what she calls the “HGTV generation” in terms of amenities. “They want a lot of custom upgrades, and they don’t mind waiting or paying for it,” Townsend says. “People aren’t going to take the standard finishes. So, now we’re building in $10,000 worth of custom upgrades in their homes, from paint to hardwood floors to granite countertops.” The same goes for activities. “We have a 40-seat theater with surround sound and popcorn; a day spa where the women are getting styles and highlights. We’re trying to replicate the services many people have at home.”
Although Saint Simeon’s has fewer independent living residents than the other facilities, it is adapting and increasing amenities and activities for all residents, says President and CEO Lindsay Hurley Fick. “The notion of a ‘nursing home’ has all but evaporated from the vernacular for seniors, their families and especially for the Baby Boomers,” she says. “Senior living is becoming an industry within itself, all geared toward offering seniors a future of choice, options and as much independence as possible.” The facility constructed its Wellness Center in 2009, complete with a warm water therapy pool, and wellness routines are customized to the needs of the resident. “This personalization allows every Saint Simeon’s senior, whether memory impaired or physically limited, to participate,” Fick says. A recent update to its health care center has been a big hit — an open kitchen so residents can watch their food being prepared. “As we look toward the future of senior living, there will continue to be growth in services and varied manners of offering those services,” Fick says. TP
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TulsaPeople NOVEMBER 2016
• If your parent’s friend recently experienced a health issue, ask your parent what he/she would want to do in a similar situation and what their preferred response would be in terms of assisted living. • If your parent’s home has become expensive to keep up, gently explain how the situation is impacting you. If your parent looks at the situation through your eyes, that can help them open up. • Deciding where to live can be overwhelming for the whole family, but families can help make it a more positive experience for parents by doing their homework and keeping the lines of communication open. SO YOU’VE DECIDED, BUT WHAT’S NEXT? HERE ARE SOME MORE TIPS: • When it is determined where your loved one will live, pop in at different times to experience the atmosphere. • Talk to nurses’ aides or those who will be your loved one’s primary caregivers and ask questions. • While you visit the center, strike up conversations with other families there about how their loved ones are doing and how they like the center. • Carter recommends picking up a copy of LIFE’s Vintage Guide to Housing and Services, available at every Tulsa City-County Library location or online. • The guide lists all housing options in the Tulsa area by level of care (multi-level, independent, assisted living, residential care and nursing facilities).