APRIL 15, 2021
APRIL 15, 2021
APRIL 15, 2021 | VOL. 36, NO. 15
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Biden Taps Tucson Police Chief to Head Up Customs and Border Protection
COVID cases bump upward as state death toll passes 17K
Two new albums from Steve Roach help map meditation
2021 Cannabis Bowl results!
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WE’VE COME A LONG WAY FROM THE War on Drugs, which pretty much degenerated into a War on People of Color in far too many jurisdictions. Medical or recreational marijuana is now legal in 36 states and Washington, D.C. A full 60% of Arizona voters supported legalizing recreational cannabis just last November and when the shops opened to recreational customers earlier this year, people waited in line for hours to make a legal buy instead of having to visit some random dude. While not everyone sees this as progress, it’s certainly true that bad cops used weed as a chickenshit excuse to bust people—usually minorities or poor people—and locking folks up for smoking a plant that’s definitely less harmful than alcohol on a whole bunch of levels. And now that edibles are easy to find, you don’t even have to risk your lung’s health to catch a buzz. This week, we celebrate the stoner holiday 420 (aka April 20) with a special package of stories. We have the winners of our Cannabis Bowl, a reader poll of Tucson’s favorite dispensaries, strains and products; a collection of product reviews to help guide you to some of the finer options on local dispensary shelves; a look at how the science of edibles is advancing through nanotech; a list of some of our favorite spots to sate our appetites for
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munchies when we’re high; and a look at the Tucson City Council is addressing dispensary zoning issues and opening the door to more locations for future shops. Elsewhere in the book: Staff reporter Chistina Duran finds out why local officials think Tucson Police Chief Chris Magnus is a good fit overseeing Customs and Border Protection; Duran also looks at the latest on the battle against COVID-19; managing editor Austin Counts sinks into why the Tucson City Council is considering raising water rates for customers living in unincorporated Pima County; The Skinny looks at the farcical efforts to audit the 2020 presidential election in Maricopa County; columnist Tom Danehy has more questions about things; associate editor Jeff Gardner catches up with Tucson ambient musician Steve Roach, who has two new recordings out there for you to enjoy (especially after you’ve had a THC-enhanced brownie); and we’ve got a calendar of pandemic-safe fun, Tucson’s best sex and horoscope columns, puzzles and so much more.
— Jim Nintzel Executive Editor Hear Nintz talk about the latest on the outbreak and other news at 8:30 Wednesday mornings on The Frank Show on KLPX, 91.1 FM.
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Here are the 15 of the best places to go when you got the 4/20 munchies
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APRIL 15, 2021
CALL OF DUTY
Biden Taps Tucson Police Chief to Head Up Customs and Border Protection
By Christina Duran email@example.com
TUCSON POLICE CHIEF CHRIS Magnus is President Joe Biden’s pick to oversee Customs and Border Protection in the new administration. “I am, of course, very honored to be nominated by the President to lead Customs and Border Protection,” Magnus said. “I look forward to speaking with senators and hearing their thoughts and concerns.” City officials said Magnus is an ideal choice because of his progressive efforts to promote community policing and his recent work managing the police force in Tucson, a city close to the U.S.-Mexico border. “Chief Magnus has always understood the importance of distinguishing the role of local law enforcement from federal immigration enforcement and how critical this is to protecting community trust,” said Tucson Mayor Regina Romero in a statement on Monday. “He has gained valuable experience serving as police chief of a major city here in the borderlands.” Tucson City Council member Karin Uhlich, who was on the council when Magnus was appointed, said he has implemented “key policing measures and focused on alternative methods in a diverse community with a long history of its close relationship with the U.S.-Mexico border.” After SB 1070, the Mayor and council directed a series of amendments to TPD’s General Orders to protect victims and witnesses of crimes from arbitrary immigration status inquiries, prohibit stops and detentions based on “suspicions” of unlawful status, which Magnus implemented, said Romero. She also noted his efforts in streamlining TDP’s U-visa process, a program that grants legal status to victims willing to help police and prosecutors investigate and prosecute a qualifying crime, and the creation of a new refugee liaison program. In a 2017 op-ed piece in the New York Times, Magnus criticized President Trump’s immigration policies.
“The harsh anti-immigrant rhetoric and Mr. Sessions’s reckless policies ignore a basic reality known by most good cops and prosecutors,” he wrote. “If people are afraid of the police, if they fear they may become separated from their families or harshly interrogated based on their immigration status, they won’t report crimes or come forward as witnesses.” If confirmed by the U.S. Senate, Magnus would serve as Commissioner of Customs and Border Protection and report to Department of Homeland Security Secretary Alejandro Mayorkas to lead border security and immigration policies as well as coordinated defense. He would be tasked to handle a border facing an increase in migration four times what CBP saw in 2019. Sen. Mark Kelly, whose parents were both police officers, said Arizona needs “strong, capable leadership” to secure the 370-mile U.S.-Mexico border with numerous ports of entry. “As Tucson’s police chief, Chief Magnus understands what it looks like when the federal government fails Arizona on border security and immigration, and that is the experience and perspective he can bring to this position,” said Kelly. “We’re facing a humanitarian crisis at our border that is already straining Border Patrol in Arizona, and I look forward to speaking with Chief Magnus about his plans for Customs and Border Protection and providing a secure, orderly process at the border that prioritizes safety and public health.” CBP saw southwest border encounters increase by 70% from February to March, with 172,331 encounters reported for March. That’s more than two-thirds higher than March of 2019. For years, non-profit organizations such as Catholic Community Services, which runs Casa Alitas, a temporary shelter for asylum seekers, have helped migrants dropped off by Border Patrol, with little communication and a lack of transparency from the organization. While Border Patrol informed Pima County and Casa Alitas to prepare for the influx in migrants in February and has included the county in communications as they provide transportation for asylum
seekers dropped off by Border Patrol in Ajo to Casa Alitas, the county continues to struggle with CBP when they change the release dates and times and the number of people being dropped off. Ward 6 Council Member Steve Kozachik, who works closely with Casa Alitas, thinks Magnus would be “a breath of fresh air” and could be a “real heavy lift” to change the culture of the organization. “They are very insular and it’s really difficult to get an effective communication chain going with them. It’s also very difficult to find out what you need to get information on internal investigations,” said Kozachik. “Chris has been a real progressive chief, in terms of our own sense of transparency within the police department... I think from the standpoint of just opening up the agency to transfer to a more transparent process, I think would be really something he could bring to the table.” He points out the three review boards in place involving civilians and some outside agencies, like the Force Review Board (FRB), and the City’s Community Police Advisory Review Board, as examples of the police department’s efforts in transparency. Kozachik said Magnus is “sensitive” on approaching immigration and the border from a humanitarian standpoint. “What he would be able to do though is put into power, put policies in place, so the work with the people on the ground, such as people I’m dealing with, that work would be done in a more humane fashion,” said Kozachik. U.S. Sen. Kyrsten Sinema said Magnus’ nomination “represents a positive step toward ensuring the administration understands and addresses the needs of Arizona communities. Our state pays the price for the federal government’s failure to fix a broken immigration system. I’ll continue working to ensure the administration takes meaningful steps to support our border communities, secure the border, and treat all migrants and unaccompanied children fairly and humanely—and I look forward to talking with Chief Magnus soon about his nomination.” Magnus has gained community support throughout his career when he used a human first approach. Back in 2014, when he was still police chief for Richmond, California, Magnus received criticism from the local union when he was photographed standing alongside #BlackLivesMatter protesters in uniform. Magnus also provided oral testimony as Richmond Police Chief for President Obama’s Task Force on 21st Century Polic-
ing, TPD put some of these recommendations in place. Last June, Magnus offered his abrupt resignation during a press conference, revealing the in-custody death of 27-yearold Carlos Adrian Ingram-Lopez, who died from cardiac arrest while physically restrained. However, City Manager Mike Ortega declined his resignation. “Chief Magnus demonstrated strong leadership yesterday when he stepped up to take responsibility for the actions of his officers,” Ortega said. “I appreciate the direct accountability and responsibility he took for his team, but his resignation will not help us continue to transform our police department.” Ortega also stated at the time that Ingram-Lopez’s family did not wish for him to step down and he had received messages from community members expressing their support for Magnus. While Magnus and local officials were honored and excited about the nomination, they have a budget to work through as Prop 407 monies are allocated to remodel some police and fire station remodeling, as well as a 911 center. “As I’ve told our department members, serving as Tucson’s Chief of Police has been, and continues to be, one of the best experiences of my career in policing,” Magnus said. “Tucson is a special community and TPD is a professional, community engaged police department. The confirmation process is never a certainty. As the Senate moves forward with its deliberations, I remain committed to serving as your chief of police to the best of my ability.” ■
APRIL 15, 2021
Board of Supervisors opposes Tucson Water’s planned rate increase for unincorporated residents By Austin Counts firstname.lastname@example.org
higher rates to people who live outside the city limits, but only if they live in unincorporated Pima County,” Scott said. “Roughly 34% of Tucson Water THE PIMA COUNTY BOARD customers live outside the city limits and of Supervisors voted 3-2 to pass a resoluabout 28% of that is unincorporated Pima tion opposing Tucson Water’s proposed County, while the other 6% is in Marana, differential rate increase for customers Oro Valley or South Tucson.” living in unincorporated Pima County Scott said the City of Tucson is pushing during their meeting on Tuesday, April 6. the higher rates because “they think it will Supervisor Matt Heinz and Superviencourage annexation or incorporation.” sor Adelita Grijalva voted against the The freshman Democrat, first elected in resolution. 2020, also said the proposed differential Supervisor Rex Scott said he brought water fees not only violate the utility’s forth the resolution for several reasons. cost-of-service model on how Tucson Most notably, Scott believes the rate increase is based on trying to get unincor- Water sets its rates, but it would also go against a 1979 intergovernmental agreeporated areas to either incorporate or be ment between the city and county. Under annexed by the closest municipality, not that IGA, the city agreed to deliver water because it costs more to deliver water to throughout the county at no extra cost as unincorporated residents. A majority of long as the county maintained the area’s the Tucson Water customers who would wastewater services. be affected are in Scott’s District 1. “Charging higher rates to people “The city has decided as a means of outside the city limits would set a dangenerating additional revenue for the gerous precedent because there are some utility that they are going to charge
areas within the city that are at elevation levels the same as areas outside of the city limits,” Scott said. “There is really no better two words to describe what’s being proposed than ‘unfair’ and ‘inequity.’” County Administrator Chuck Huckelberry said he also views the city’s proposed differential rate increase as a violation of the 1979 IGA. While the Tucson City Council has not yet approved the proposed differential rates, Huckelberry foresees a 30% to 50% increase for certain Tucson Water customers in unincorporated Pima County should it pass later in the month. “This is a really discriminatory practice where you’re having two types of rates applied to the same customer class and the only differentiation is their geographical location,” Huckelberry said. “To add to its unfairness, the folks who are going to have to pay the added increase don’t even get to vote for the policymakers.” If the city does decide to set differential water rates during their upcoming April 20 meeting, Huckelberry said the county will be looking at what options are available to oppose the increase. “We prefer that a utility stand on its own cost basis and not be used as what some would call a cash cow. Cost of service is something really fundamental to the utility rate structures and charging a differential rate to the same customer class falls way outside the cost of service,” Huckelberry said. “This is really a way to gather additional revenues and potentially use them for other uses besides sustaining the utility, which is really inappropriate.” Pima County Supervisor Matt Heinz, a Democrat who was elected last November, voted against the Board’s resolution to oppose the proposed differential rate increase because he believes city residents have been subsidizing the county’s water for too long. “The vast majority of incorporated mu-
nicipal residents have been subsidizing for decades the relatively lower water rates that are enjoyed by folks in the Catalina Foothills,” Heinz said. “This was probably not an appropriate policy in the first place. So, I see this as a kind of corrective action, a reasonable and equitable one that’s been done over time to kind of help balance things out.” Interim Assistant City Manager Tim Thomure said there are three main reasons the city would want to add differential rates to Tucson Water’s fee structure— equity, loss of money and maintaining the water supply as the climate is changing. Thomure was the director for Tucson Water before moving on to the city manager’s office earlier this year. “If something happened to Tucson Water’s finances, like a pandemic with a moratorium on shut-off, which caused revenues not to be collected, it’s the City of Tucson’s General Fund that bears that risk,” Thomure said. “Our region also loses tens of millions of dollars of state shared revenue every year because of the high percentage of residents we have in unincorporated areas. Lastly, the city has been extending its water resources outside of its jurisdiction not only with no return on investment but no revenue back to the city itself.” The interim assistant city manager said there is a difference of opinion between the city and county in regards to the 1979 IGA. From the city’s perspective, Pima County is obliged to maintain the region’s wastewater whereas the city doesn’t have a “reciprocal requirement to serve outside this jurisdiction.” “There’s a lot of folks who assert that there is an obligation, but there is not. Reviewing the IGA makes that clear,” Thomure said. “There is a lot of history here and I’m not saying that [the county] is completely incorrect, but it’s not an obligation.” ■
APRIL 15, 2021
move to overrule Pima County’s mask mandate, which requires anyone over the age of 5 to wear a mask in public places where physical distancing is not possible unless they are exempted by a qualifying health condition. At an April 9 press briefing, Christ said while she has the authority as the head of Arizona Department of Health, she is focusing on the vaccination efforts and didn’t think she’d use the power “at this point in the pandemic.” Pima County said it would keep its mask requirement in place despite Gov. Doug Ducey’s announcement that he was lifting other COVID restrictions and local governments could no longer enforce mask mandates. In a March 26 letter, the Pima County Attorney’s Office advised County AdPHOTO COURTESY UNIVERSITY OF ARIZONA ministrator Chuck Huckelberry that Gov. Doug Ducey does not have the legal authority to prevent the County Health Department from enacting reasonable public health measures. COVID cases bump upward as state death toll passes 17K “It is up to the Legislature, not the Governor, to decide what authority it wants COVID, a 2% jump from the previous By Christina Duran to delegate to counties. It has delegated week. email@example.com counties broad public health authority, as Gerald noted that for the first time, the THE STATE OF ARIZONA rate of cases among people older than 65 well as authority over their own property,” passed a grim milestone last week as wrote Deputy County Attorney Jonathan had fallen below that of children, with 28 more than 17,000 people have now died Pinkney in a legal opinion released by cases per 100,000 for seniors vs. 37 cases after contracting COVID-19. per 100,000 among kids younger than 15. the Board of Supervisors on April 6. “The The death toll was 17,086 as of Monday, Overall, Arizonans were testing positive Governor cannot, through the exercise of April 12, according to the Arizona Depart- at a rate of 59 cases per 100,000, which his executive authority, take that away.” ment of Health Services. After state Sens. Vince Leach (R-Sadkept the state just above the threshold of Meanwhile, a decline in cases of dleBrooke) and Michelle Urgenti-Rita “substantial” spread of the virus. People COVID-19 in Arizona has stalled in the between the ages of 15 and 24 were testing (R-Scottsdale) and state Rep. Bret Roberts wake of Gov. Doug Ducey’s lifting of (R-Maricopa) asked Attorney General Mark positive at a rate of 95 cases per 100,000. restrictions designed to slow the spread of People between the ages of 16 and 64 Brnovich about Pima County’s authority in the killer virus. the matter, Brnovich provided an informal were testing positive at a rate of 70 cases While numbers are still lower than at opinion that backed Pinkey’s position, but per 100,000. the January peak in cases, the state has also noted that “the Governor likely has the Gerald advised that people and businow seen two weeks of minor increases in nesses should continue to follow the authority to preempt the county resolution cases following 10 weeks of decline, while advice of public health experts regarding through ADHS rules and regulations prohospital occupancy has been on a slight wearing masks and other precautions, but mulgated and enforced by ADHS.” upswing, according to Dr. Joe Gerald, an While Ducey has not ordered Christ to that “normalization of low-risk activities epidemiologist and professor in the UA overturn local mask mandates, he did sign remains reasonable.” But he said mediSchool of Public Health who has been House Bill 2270 last week, which allows cally vulnerable people who had not yet tracking the novel coronavirus for more been vaccinated should continue to avoid businesses to ignore future mask mandates than a year. once it takes effect later this year. going out in public. “[O]ur three-month streak of sustained Will Humble, the former director of The total number of confirmed cases improvements has stalled owing to more health in the Brewer administration and the in Arizona also topped 850,000 as of transmissible variants and/or normalizahead of the Arizona Public Health AssociMonday, April 12, with ADHS reporting tion of business and social activities,” Ger- 675 new cases to bring Arizona’s tally to ation, wrote on his blog that it was “astonald wrote in his tracking report. “Nonethe- 850,236. ishingly irresponsible to sign a bill that less, hospital capacity remains adequate completely gets rid of this non-pharmato meet Arizona’s needs even though the ceutical intervention during an emergency MASK MANDATE STILL ON IN backlog of non-COVID care has yet to be and also stripping all regulations from the PIMA COUNTY fully addressed.” Administrative Code that require infection In the week ending April 4, a total ARIZONA HEALTH DIRECTOR CARA control or environmental exposure masks.” of 4,281 Arizonans tested positive for “Of course, the ADHS under the leaderChrist said last week that she would not
NOT OVER YET
ship of Director Christ offered no statement or testimony in committee expressing any concern whatsoever about the bill,” Humble added. “Such is the state of the public health leadership in this state.” PIMA COUNTY TRANSITIONING TO INDOOR VACCINATION SITES AS TEMPERATURES RISE, PIMA County officials are shifting to indoor vaccination sites to avoid making staff and volunteers endure long days in triple-degree temperatures. The county is working with TMC to move their drive-thru POD to a walkthrough site at the Udall Center at Udall Park, 7200 E. Tanque Verde Road, beginning April 19. Appointments can be made through register.vaccine.pima.gov. This week, Pima County opened a new indoor vaccine site at the Kino Event Center, where the county had earlier been doing COVID testing. That site is open 9 a.m. to 7 p.m., Monday through Saturday. Register at azdhs.gov. The county has also opened an indoor vaccination POD at El Pueblo Center, 101 W. Irvington Road, which is open Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 9:30 a.m. to 1:30 p.m. No appointment is necessary. The drive-through POD at Banner-South Kino Stadium, 2500 E. Ajo Way, will offer appointments between 7:30 a.m. to 12:30 p.m. beginning April 17. “We reached over 500,000 vaccinations in Pima County earlier this week, and we are going to continue our momentum as temperatures rise,” said Pima County Health Department Director Dr. Theresa Cullen in a prepared statement. “All these moves will keep the community, the POD workers and the volunteers safe from the heat as we put shots into arms.” As of Monday, April 12, 357,293 people in Pima County had received at least one shot of the virus, accounting for 34.2% of the population. A total of 233,788 people were fully vaccinated. Anyone 16 and older is now eligible for vaccination at Pima County or state PODs. You can register for your vaccine appointments at a state POD by visiting pod vaccine.azdhs.gov, and those who need assistance can call 1-844-542-8201. Register for an appointment at a Pima County POD at pima.gov/covid19vaccineregistration or by calling 520-222-0119. ■ Many local pharmacies are now receiving vaccine doses. To find one near you, visit the ADHS website.
APRIL 15, 2021
taking the many factors involved into account, we simply believe that we need a fresh start, and now is the time. I want to thank Sean, Amy and their sons for their service to the university and wish them the very best in the future.” UA will continue to honor the terms of Miller’s existing contract, according to the University. Miller took over as head coach of the Wildcat’s men’s basketball program on April 6, 2009, to replace retiring Hall of Fame head coach Lute Olson. During his 12 years, the coach took the men’s basketball team to seven NCAA tournaments, three Elite Eight appearances, five regular-season conference titles and three Pac-12 Tournament titles. Miller was also investigated for his involvement in the 2017 NCAA basketball corruption scandal in which players
were offered illegal pay to play for the Wildcats. While his assistant coach, Book Richardson, served prison time for his involvement in the scandal, Miller denied being a part of the scheme. Last October, the program and Miller were charged with five Level 1 NCAA violations due to a lack of control over the situation. “Since the season’s end, it has become clear that our men’s basketball program—and our university—needs to write a new chapter in our history, and that begins with a change of leadership,” UA President Robert C. Robbins said in the release. “Arizona basketball means so much to so many and, as stewards of the program, we must always act in the best interests of the university. I believe our future is bright, and I look forward to welcoming a new head coach to the Wildcat family.” ■
Sean Miller is out after 12 years as head coach of the UA basketball program.
MILLER GETS THE AXE UA fires basketball coach after 12 seasons By Austin Counts firstname.lastname@example.org THE UNIVERSITY OF ARIZONA IS giving men’s basketball head coach Sean Miller his walking papers after 12 seasons with the program and an overall record of 302-109.
The team’s associate head coach, Jack Murphy, will take over as interim head coach as the university searches for candidates. “We appreciate Sean’s commitment to our basketball program and to the university,” UA Vice President and Director of Athletics Dave Heeke said. “After
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APRIL 15, 2021
Back to School: College Edition AUGUST 2021
College 101: Students return to Tucson, so we’re giving out lessons on stretching a buck and life on & off campus
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APRIL 15, 2021
RUSH LIMBAUGH CONTINUES HIS RADIO SHOW FROM BEYOND THE GRAVE By Tom Danehy, email@example.com A FEW QUESTIONS: • As Andre 3000 might have asked, what’s lower than really low? I have long (unashamedly) admitted that, for decades, I would listen to Rush Limbaugh if I was driving somewhere when his show was on. I started listening to Limbaugh in the late 1980s, not long after he first came on the air. I’ve always thought that it was important to listen to other points of view, and he certainly had those. He eventually morphed into a caricature of himself, serving as a blowhard template for those who came after him, the Sean Hannitys of the world, each more shrill and less talented than Limbaugh. He was a broadcasting giant, a Father Coughlin for the modern age. I listened up until the very end of his life. But since his death, I have been wondering with whom they would replace him. There was certainly no shortage of candidates, including the cavalcade of haters, local talk-radio screamers from all different parts of our great land who took turns filling in for Limbaugh in his final days. Some thought it would
CLAYTOONZ By Clay Jones
be Mark Levin, who touts himself as a constitutional expert, but appears to only know some of the amendments. I’ve recently considered calling in to Levin’s show and when I got on the air, I’d pronounce his name so that it would rhyme with “seven.” He, of course, would correct me and say that it’s pronounced “Luh-VIN,” after which I would ask him why, then, is it okay for him to intentionally mispronounce the name of the Vice-President of the United States. I tuned in the other day to find out that it’s not Levin. It’s so much worse than that. It’s cynically…grotesquely… STILL the Rush Limbaugh Show. They have gone back through the archives and dug out rants about every rightwing topic known to man. Then, some poor schlub will say, “There’s been a surge of migrants at the southern border of the U.S. Here’s what Rush had to say on that issue back in 1996. Note how the nuanced and subtle right-wing racism of 2021 compares to the more open and vigorous racism of the 1990s.” And then they play a clip of Limbaugh hatin’ on the brown-skinned folks.
How would you like to have that gig? Don Pardo for a dead guy. It’s like the Edgar Allan Poe story, “The Facts in the Case of M. Valdemar,” in which a mesmerist hypnotizes a man right before the moment of death so that the deceased can telepathically give them a tour through the dark bowels of the afterlife. There are only two possible explanations for this macabre enterprise. Either Limbaugh’s eighth or ninth wife just didn’t want to turn off the money spigot or some white-belted radio suit in the tradition of Herb on WKRP In Cincinnati thought it was a really great idea. Well, it’s not. Let the man rest in peace. • Seriously, how badly do you want every horrible allegation against Congressman Matt Gaetz to be true? This Gaetz guy is so smarmy that Donald Trump, Jr. (who is the second-smarmiest person on Earth) wants to punch him in the face. Gaetz was the only person in the entire House of Representatives to vote against a bill that advanced the fight against sex trafficking. He has come out in favor of revenge porn. And he shares nude photos of his sexual conquests with other members of the House of Representatives on the House floor! I hope they get him on sex trafficking charges and the Mann Act and maybe even bribery charges. I want the lying sleaze to get pummeled by the legal
system to the point where the only job he can get afterwards in cleaning toilets at Mar-a-Lago. At least then he can be close to his man crush. • How hard is it to look up a definition of something on Google? So, when I was listening to the aforementioned Limbaugh After Death Show, this guy called in with a complaint. He said that he had received his $1,400 stimulus check but that he didn’t want it. He referred to it as “blood money.” I assume that he had heard that phrase in an old Chuck Norris movie and thought that it sounded cool. But, blood money is money that changes hands after a murder or another type of violent death. Since he was on that particular show, I’m guessing that he wasn’t talking about the coming-up-on-600,000 people who had died from COVID-19. Then, about whom was he talking? After saying “blood money” about a dozen times, he then said that he didn’t want to send the money back because President Biden would use it to advance his socialist agenda (I’m paraphrasing.) And he didn’t want to spend it because it would help the Biden socialist economy. The Don Pardo-of-the-Day suggested that he buy a bunch of the Rush Revere books and hand them out to young people. Yeah, he should hand them out on Halloween. Then he’ll be the only guy in the neighborhood with a completely egg-colored house. ■
APRIL 15, 2021
FAKE REVIEWS The real fraud is about the GOP’s latest audit, not the 2020 election Jim Nintzel firstname.lastname@example.org
IT’S FAIR TO SAY THAT MANY supporters of Donald Trump are taking his loss in the 2020 presidential election badly. That includes Trump himself, who incited his followers into storming the U.S. Capitol on Jan. 6 in hopes of preventing a procedural step in the peaceful transfer of power. Trump continues to proclaim, without evidence, that the election was stolen from him and yadda yadda yadda. Still, Trump’s alternate take on reality is a safe space for many of his supporters. A late March Reuters/Ipsos poll showed that 60% of Republicans believe that the election was stolen from Trump, despite Trump’s inability to prove any of it in court and the lunatic nature of the various conspiracy theories regarding how exactly the “theft” was pulled off. In response to Trump’s delusions, we are seeing state lawmakers across the country gin up voter-suppression bills masquerading as election integrity bills. We’ve already seen Georgia Gov. Brian Kemp sign a bill that restricts voter registration and early voting and even forbids people from providing food and water to voters who will be waiting in longer lines thanks to the aforementioned restrictions. The blowback from that, including the loss of Major League Baseball’s All-Star Game, has Republicans complaining that all their new restrictions that will disportionately affect Black voters are just being misunderstood and that sports should stay out of politics (except when they want a new ballpark) and businesses should stop trying to throw their weight around (except when it’s time to fund
campaigns or lobby for tax breaks or fewer regulations). Here in Arizona, we have our own election suppression bills moving through the Legislature that would hamstring voter-registration efforts and find new ways to throw out early ballots. A bunch of Phoenix-area businesses recently announced their opposition to the bills, recognizing that making it harder for people to vote is the wrong way to ensure election integrity. But as state Rep. John Kavanagh (R-Fountain Hills) told CNN earlier this year: “Not everybody wants to vote, and if somebody is uninterested in voting, that probably means that they’re totally uninformed on the issues. Quantity is important, but we have to look at the quality of votes, as well.” And obviously, Republican voters are of a higher quality than Democratic voters, am I right? Republican state lawmakers are also embroiled in overseeing an “audit” of Maricopa County’s ballot and voting machines. Although the GOP-controlled Maricopa County Board of Supervisors has already overseen two audits of the voting machines, that hasn’t been good enough for the Arizona Senate, which is insisting on doing its own. After a legal fight resulted in an order to turn over all 2.1 million ballots and the associated voting machines, Senate President Karen Fann has yet to pick up the boxes of ballots, as Maricopa County officials have told her they want nothing to do with her fraudulent efforts to sow more doubt about the election. In fact, hardly anyone wants to be involved, from current to retired state and county election officials to Arizona Secretary of State Katie Hobbs. Instead, Ken Bennett, the former secre-
tary of state last seen running a doomed campaign against Gov. Doug Ducey, has volunteered to oversee the audit. Bennett, who transformed into a Trumpster sometime in the last four years, is using up the last of his once-solid reputation on this exercise. All we can say is we liked him better when he was stacking Kleenex boxes to explain the state budget. Meanwhile, Fann has handed a contract to a firm called Cyber Ninjas to conduct the audit, which is supposed to include a hand count of ballots done entirely by volunteers. We don’t doubt that the numbers tabulated by disgruntled Republican activists who volunteer for such an effort is going to come out differently than a machine count, but that’s because human error is far more likely than machine error when it comes to counting ballots. Anyone who knows anything about elections knows that’s true. Cyber Ninjas is led by Doug Logan and it took about an hour for Capitol reporters to figure out that the guy was tweeting bullshit about election theft. “Logan deleted his Twitter account,
@securityvoid, sometime in January,” wrote Arizona Mirror reporter Jeremy Duda. “But online archives show extensive activity in support of the Stop the Steal movement that has repeated false and unsubstantiated claims that Biden won the 2020 through election fraud.” On top of that, Logan wrote a document about election fraud that was posted on Trump attorney Sidney Powell’s website. Yes, that’s the same Sidney Powell who is defending herself against a billion-dollar lawsuit by Dominion Voting Systems by filing papers in court that no reasonable person would believe the things she said about election fraud. The real problem here isn’t election fraud—it’s the pathetic efforts by some Republicans to sow doubts about the election with bullshit like the Senate’s audit. And The Skinny is not the first to observe that there are no facts that will persuade those who don’t believe the election was legitimate. Audits like the one the Senate is pursuing are designed to muddy up the waters, not reach the truth. ■
APRIL 15, 2021
Ballet Tucson Pop-Ups. Last November, Ballet
Who Shot Rock and Roll? The Rialto Theatre has temporarily moved over into the visual
art category. With live music forced into hiatus by the coronavirus, the Rialto is honoring past concerts with photos by C. Elliott and Mark A. Martinez as well as poster art by Ryan Trayte. Called The Gallery Project, the show will be open from 6 to 9 p.m. Fridays and Saturdays, and will stay up until the music returns. Entry is by reservation only; all comers must take a temperature check. Free. Photos, posters, cocktails and popcorn will be for sale. For info and reservations, visit rialtotheatre.com/gallery-project.
Shakespeare’s King Lear plays a role in The Heath, written by prolific playwright Lauren
Gunderson and produced as an audio play by Arizona Theater Company. Gunderson turns to acting in this semi-autobiographical tale about her relationship with her grandfather. Emmy winner John Larroquette is both Lear and the granddad. The free production runs from 5 p.m. Wednesday, April 14, to 5 p.m. Sunday April 18. To hear the show on your own devices, visit arizonatheatre.org.
Tucson dancers, who had not performed since March 2020, did a brief but magical nighttime concert at the Tucson Botanical Garden. They went on to dance in other unconventional venues, including the Reid Park Zoo, the St. Philip’s Farmers Market, and a Tucson Museum of Art patio. The shows were a hit, and this month the dancers will once again perform a series of short outdoor concerts. This weekend, they’ve got a gig at Brandi Fenton Memorial Park. Two company choreographers, associate director Chieko Imada and Balletmaster Daniel Precup, have created five new dances to be performed in all three concerts. Each show will feature nine dancers. Imada’s Shall We Dance? is a comical duet about relationships, and her Trio is a contemporary jazz piece. Precup, formerly a full-time dancer in the troupe, will dance a romantic pas de deux with prima ballerina Jenna Johnson in his piece Rhapsody. (The two are married in real life.) He also choreographed a classic ballet solo for Johnson, inspired by the Spanish ballet Raymonda, as well as Reverberation, a lively piece for five dancers. Each of the concerts is just 20 minutes long, and each will be performed twice at each venue. Brandi Fenton Memorial Park along the Loop, 3482 E. River Road, west of Dodge Blvd. Shows at 11:30 a.m. and 12:30 p.m. on Sunday, April 18. The final show is at Rillito Regional Park, near the racetrack, on Saturday, April 24. Bring blanket or chairs. Free. CONTINUED ON PAGE 12
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The Loft of the Rings. Tucson’s arthouse movie theater
is celebrating the 20th anniversary of some of the most acclaimed and grand films ever made: the Lord of the Rings trilogy. They’re hosting two open-air screenings of each film, so you have extra opportunity to catch them—or see it twice if you’re a super fan! The first film, “The Fellowship of the Ring,” screens Friday, April 16 and Tuesday, April 20 at 7:30 p.m. The second film, “The Two Towers,” screens Saturday, April 17 and Wednesday, April 21 at 7:30. And the final film, “The Return of the King,” screens Sunday, April 18 and Thursday, April 22 at 7:30 p.m. Screenings of each film will include one of three exclusive cast reunion Q&As, each featuring different cast members. These 20th anniversary Q&As will follow the films and are exclusive to these theatrical screenings. Plus, the Loft will also be hosting a free raffle to win a vintage vinyl movie theater promotional banner from the original release. $15. 3233 E. Speedway Blvd. For more information, visit loftcinema.org
ammonites (shelled creatures related to modern-day squids) on a drive-thru tour of the Cretaceous, Jurassic and Triassic periods in the fairground’s parking lot. While the show is normally indoors, the Jurassic Quest team has adapted to the coronavirus pandemic by offering this outdoor tour that is accompanied by a half-hour YouTube audio performance that teaches guests about the various dinosaurs on display (and includes an undercurrent of danger as hosts such as “Dino” Dustin Baker search for a missing T-Rex.) Among the fun facts you’ll learn: The velociraptor was much smaller than the creatures who appear in various Hollywood films. “I think Hollywood people just think ‘velociraptor’ just sounds so cool, so they take liberties,” Baker said. The tours continue from 1-8 p.m. Wednesday, April 14; 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. Thursday and Friday, April 15-16; 9 a.m. to 9 p.m. Saturday, April 17; and 9 a.m. to 8 p.m. Sunday, April 18.
Arizona International Film Festival. The Arizona Inter-
national Film Festival returns this week with 12 days of online and outdoor film screenings from comedy to drama to documentary. The 29th festival kicks off opening night at the MSA Annex on Wednesday, April 14, with an outdoor screening of Dustwun, a drama about a friendship between an undocumented migrant lost from her group traveling toward the United States and a troubled American veteran building his own “wall” out of trash in the desert. Filmmaker Genevieve Anderson will be present at the screening. The 2021 AIFF includes 24 feature films and 75 shorts. This year’s films range from a bipolar love story to a hike across Utah to an experimental “film poem” about democracy. In addition to feature length films, there are also blocks of short films and panels where film professionals discuss cinematography, international film, independent films, and their own work. While multiple festival films were shot here in Arizona, other entries range from Italy to Turkey to Sudan. The 2021 Arizona International Film Festival continues through Sunday, April 25. To view the full schedule and to buy tickets, visit filmfestivalarizona.com.
Dinosaur Stampede. Dozens of dinosaurs and other
prehistoric creatures are on display at the Pima County Fairgrounds this week. But while they roar their terrible roars and gnash their terrible teeth, these dinosaurs are not flesh and blood but instead are robot duplicates that will amaze and delight fans of the giant reptiles. Jurassic Quest, a traveling exhibit of life-size mechanical dinosaur replicas, has set up at the Pima County Fairgrounds through Sunday, April 18. Visitors will see dozens of dinosaurs on the tour, including well-known favorites such as T-Rex and stegosaurus as well as more obscure dinos and other creatures such as giant
St. Philip’s Plaza Market.
Farmers Markets. Before the days get too hot, enjoy some pleasant mornings at the local farmers markets throughout town. St. Philip’s Plaza Market is certainly one of the most beautiful local markets, housed in the white walls and bougainvillea of St. Philip’s Plaza. Here you can purchase anything from spices to jewelry to plants. (The markets are held every weekend 8 a.m. to noon. 4280 N. Campbell Ave., suite 212.) In Oro Valley, the Heirloom farmers market is at Steam Pump Ranch on Saturdays. This market is going strong with plenty of local produce options as well as pasta, salsa, coffee, dairy, soaps and even food ready-to-eat. (10901 N. Oracle Road from 9 a.m. to 1 p.m.). Also on Saturdays, the Marana Outdoor Market has plenty of arts and crafts for sale at their pet-friendly market near Dove Mountain. (12100 N. Dove Mountain Blvd., 9 a.m. to 2 p.m.) Closer to downtown, the Mercado Flea market at the MSA Annex is going strong with plenty of vintage, antique and novelty items for sale on every second Sunday of the month. ■
APRIL 15, 2021
As It Is by Steve Roach
Temple of the Melting Dawn by Serena Gabriel and Steve Roach www.steveroach.com
FAR OUT, FAR IN
Two new albums from Steve Roach help map meditation By Jeff Gardner email@example.com
DURING A RECENT ONLINE MUSIC festival hosted by local artist Steve Roach, listeners agreed Tucson likely has more ambient musicians per capita than any other city—something about the enchantment of the desert and its resulting states of consciousness. But even if the per capita claim isn’t quite true, Roach’s prolific musical output makes up for everyone else. April 2 saw two album releases from Roach: As It Is and Temple of the Melting Dawn (a collaboration with Serena Gabriel). These follow another album released in January and multiple last year. Although Roach’s music is often introspective, his ambient style also manages to foster a community—both those who tuned into his SoundQuest online music festival, and the multiple local artists with whom he collaborates. “From the years of feedback from my audience, it’s clear they immerse themselves in this psychological spiritual state within my music. A feeling supports one into deeper places within,” Roach said in a press release for As It Is, recorded over the last year. As It Is departs from his recent output of more energetic albums, replacing the arpeggiated synthesizer notes on last year’s Tomorrow with darker, soothing tones. And while his more melody-driven output served as an uplifting escape from 2020, As It Is also provides relief from global woes, but rather than rising above them, it dips beneath. Over the course of six massive tracks (all of which run longer than 10 minutes) Roach traces a kind of mental meditation journey, beginning with “What Falls Away,” and passing through a “Threshold Meditation,” before ultimately “Emerging.” “It’s a daily meditation at that threshold, asking ‘How is today unique? What is unique in this moment? How can I respond to this? What is the thing that’s going to make
today unique and empowered through this language of sound and music?’” Roach says. The album opener is a series of smooth drones moving at a glacier’s pace that essentially works to get the listener into a proper headspace. It’s only until a few minutes into the second track (about 15 minutes into the album) that any form of percussion appears, but even this is mostly submerged behind the layers of mysterious electronics. “Unreachable” includes some rare acoustic instrumentation on the album, with a suspenseful piano hiding within the shifting synthesizers. “Equanimity” references Roach’s more spacey ambient, with futuristic drums and a particularly affecting central melody. The album’s theme is hidden in the cover art and connected images—shots of exposed minerals gleaming like the rainbows in oil slicks, hinting at how even when all else is stripped away, there is a vibrancy in the bedrock. Roach describes this theme as a “deep engagement exploring the psychology of sound: expanded consciousness creating meaning out of sonic abstraction.” While much of Roach’s decades-long catalog works as a soundscape for meditation and relaxation, As It Is works as an example of the ambient pioneer somewhat mapping the mental journey—not just opening those internal caverns, but shining a light. “That unreachable place is something you hear within my music,” Roach says. “I’m reaching towards something I’m never fully grasping, and in that state of not-fully-grasping-it there’s a recognition of knowing it as it is. Perhaps it doesn’t need to be grasped, it can be unreachable, it can remain suspended.” As with multiple of his projects, Roach can’t help concluding with a bright ascension, the natural emergence from the deep, thoughtful state As It Is places the listener in. “These soundworlds offer nourishment and renewal along with a greater, more expansive state; at the same time I continue to discover a deeply cultivated connection to a
core awareness of the self,” Roach said. “Over time, the music helps to build energy and relationship through the self.” Temple of the Melting Dawn is the third full-length collaboration with Tucson musician Serena Gabriel, whose acoustic instrumentation and occasional singing add a grounding to Roach’s swirling electronics. Gabriel describes the album, which has a decidedly new age focus, as “perfect for creating sacred space.” Unlike their 2020 collaborations, Temple of the Melting Dawn features less of Gabriel’s spiritual singing, instead opting for echoing strings and atmosphere. The real draw is its blend of ancient and modern aesthetics, hinted at with track titles like “Visions of Delphi” and Gabriel’s pensive performances on the lyre, kalimba and flute. The album focuses on divination, described in the liner notes as “the practice of seeking knowledge of the unknown by various natural, psychological and other techniques.” Again, similar to the meditative focus of As It Is, but with a potentially more metaphysical bent. This goal is also exemplified in the album’s artwork, a desert landscape beneath a powerful sun, warping with a psychedelic overlay. This shows strongest in the track “In Another Time,” which runs for a measly 12 minutes as far Roach’s music is concerned. The vastness is necessary for the goal of the music, and that expanse is filled with hushed affirmations and dark ambience. Of course, describing ambient music only goes so far, even if it is conceptual. Luckily, Roach and Gabriel’s music often speaks for itself, whether it’s quietly accompanying your thoughts or filling the room. ■
APRIL 15, 2021
Dispensaries and Clinics Best Delivery Service
Earth’s Healing 78 W. River Road 2075 E. Benson Highway
While both Grassp Delivery and Desert Bloom Re-Leaf Center provide solid delivery of fresh bud and locally crafted edibles, it’s Earth’s Healing’s delivery that wins the top spot in this category, which has been more important than ever in the last year. While delivery services in Arizona are only available for medical patients at the moment thanks to state law, cardholders can order anytime between 8:30 a.m. and 7 p.m. daily (9:30 a.m. to 7 p.m. on Sundays) and later that day, a friendly courier will turn up at your place with your meds. You’ll have to pay through Alt Thirty Six, which is kind of a PayPal for the cannabis community, so be ready to set up an account. Earth’s Healing covers most of the metro area with a simple fee: If your order is between $40-$100, it’ll cost you 10 bucks; if it’s between $101-$200, it’ll cost you five bucks; and if you’re splurging on more than $200, it’s free. Second place: Grassp Delivery (Powered by The Green Halo) Third place: Desert Bloom Re-Leaf Center
Best Certification Center
4120 E. Speedway Blvd. Even though you can buy weed without a license now, carrying an MMJ card still has its privileges: You can evade a 16% tax that recreational buyers pay; you can slip into a shorter line at some dispensaries; and you can buy edibles in much bigger
doses. So depending on the degree of your chronic pain or other qualifying condition and how much cannabis you purchase, it may pencil out for you to hang onto your badge, especially since you only have to renew it every two years now. Whatever your ailment, the friendly docs at Dr. Reeferalz will likely find a reason to get you square with The Man. Plus, you may just get a coupon for some free Baked Bros. candies and syrup, so there’s a little rebate as part of the deal. Second place: Tumbleweeds Health Center Third place: Natural Healing Care Center
Best MMJ Doc
Dr. Heather Moroso
548 E. Speedway Blvd.
Perennial winner and Weekly favorite Dr. Heather Moroso is once again atop the voting as Moroso Medical Center reaches dizzying heights this year. Dr. Moroso has become a legend in the local medical cannabis community. A licensed neuropath and holistic healer, she brings empathy and alternative treatments to patients as well as providing relief to those suffering from debilitating diseases. The waiting room in the Moroso Medical Center holds a collection of unusual and appealing art alongside a wondrous display of Dr. Moroso’s homeopathic potions, while friendly staff members answer questions to put patients at ease. But the best part about the practice is Dr. Moroso herself, who brings an aura of calm and good vibes to her work in the clinic and in the community. With fair pricing and fast service from that first call for an appointment to receiving your patient card, Dr. Moroso and her staff truly care about every patient who walks in the door. Her services include acupuncture and naturopathy as well as healthy lifestyle planning, homeopathy and vari-
ous other alternative forms of medicine for people looking at health solutions beyond traditional western medicine. And we can’t wait to see her upcoming wellness center in South Tucson, which promises to expand Moroso’s offerings of alternative care with naturopathic consultation, massage, yoga classes and nutritional advice along with smoothies blended in the building’s large kitchen with fresh ingredients grown on-site. Second place: Dr. Debbie Jacques Third place: Dr. Alicia Miller
Best Waiting Room
Earth’s Healing North
78 W. River Road
While waiting rooms have been open and closed over the last year because of pandemic precautions and new protocols related to the emergence of adult-use customers, our readers still have their favorites. Green Halo is particularly wonderful on the days when the lobby is rich with the aroma of those mega-brownies baking in the kitchen, while Desert Bloom Re-Leaf Center features a giant Jenga game and walls of old-school psychedelic artwork. But Earth’s Healing North, located in Zona 78’s old River Road location, is filled with comfy couches and chairs in a spacious and well-lit lobby. Second place: Green Halo Third place: Desert Bloom Re-Leaf Center
Best Customer Service
78 W. River Road 2075 E. Benson Highway
Thanks to the ol’ coronavirus, Earth’s
Healing is now only accepting phonein and online orders, but they have an easy-to-navigate website and friendly staff working the phones, so it’s easy to place your order and drive over to pick it up at the front door—and honestly, most of the time, it’s quicker than popping in to browse the showroom used to be. (With a new southside dispensary on the way, Earth’s Healing expects to be welcoming people into the showroom again soon.) Plus, if you don’t want to drive over, Earth’s Healing also took top honors in delivery this year, so you don’t even have to leave the house if you don’t want to. Now that’s customer service! Second place: Green Halo Third place: Prime Leaf
Best New Patient Special
Earth’s Healing 78 W. River Road 2075 E. Benson Highway
One reason you might want to hang onto a medical card even though any adult can shop show: You’ll be eligible for the ever-changing selection of deals at various dispensaries that may or may not be available to the rec crowd. First-time medical patients at Earth’s Healing can avail themselves of three options: A buyone, get-one special on a $25 prepacked eighth of an ounce; a 500mg Premium Earthvape with equal parts THC and CBD; or one of Earth’s Healing’s Cannabis Bowl Award-winning house pre-rolls. On top of that, you get a free pre-roll on your second visit as long as you spend 20 bucks—and how hard is that? Second place: Green Halo Third place: Harvest CONTINUED ON PAGE 20
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APRIL 15, 2021
Here are the 15 of the best places to go when you got the 4/20 munchies
By Austin Counts firstname.lastname@example.org
MARIJUANA AND THE MUNCHIES go together like peanut butter and jelly. Is there anything better than stocking up on your favorite snacks, getting baked and binge-watching Xena: Warrior Princess until you slip into a food coma? (If there is, I have yet to experience it). Considering the Old Pueblo is a bonafide UNESCO City of Gastronomy and we have The Best 23 Miles of Mexican Food in the U.S., Tucsonans are riding the gravy train with biscuit wheels when it comes to food options when stoned. We tried our best to narrow it down to the best 15 places while encompassing a variety of comfort food. However, this city has too many good eating establishments to choose from—not that we’re saying that’s a bad thing. Enjoy this list as a suggestion from your friends at Tucson Weekly. Personally, we can’t wait until Tucson’s restaurants can start cooking with THC because we’re positive the results would be amazing. But until then, these places will treat you right when you come down with a case of the munchies this 4/20. One last thing—make sure to pick up your snacks before you get stoned, or get a ride-share service, or order delivery, or offer to buy your sober friend some munchies if they’ll drive you. Be safe out there this Tuesday.
4th Avenue Deli 425 N. Fourth Ave. 520-624-3354 Full disclosure: I used to own this place. But don’t let that distract you from the fact 4th Avenue Deli has some of the best stoner food at prices stoners don’t mind paying. Whether it’s sandwiches, subs, hot dogs, all the way down to the sides and desserts— AUSTIN COUNTS everything here is super fresh and A Brooklyn Pizza customer stops by their by their to-go window for a quick slice after dank AF. You can’t go wrong with a few spending the afternoon walking Fourth Avenue. Chicago dogs or the deli’s world-faBarrio Bread pizza after burning a joint? Whether mous meatball sub topped with provo18 S Eastbourne Ave. you’re picking up a slice or whole pie, lone cheese. The prices are so cheap, 520-327-1292 Fourth Avenue’s Brooklyn Pizza Comyou’ll still have enough for a pre-roll at Barriobread.com pany has everything needed to satisfy Downtown Dispensary later. When you your cravings. But this pizza joint want the chronic, go see Kylie and the When it comes to classic munchies, doesn’t stop there. They also serve up crew at the 4th Avenue Deli. is there anything more satisfying than calzones, subs, hot wings, pasta dishes fresh-baked bread? Since arriving on and more. If you’re still needing to Arte Bella on 4th Ave the scene in 8000 BC Egypt, bread has consume mass quantities, Brooklyn 340 N. Fourth Ave. been a staple in the lives of humans Pizza has fantastic frozen desserts like 520-449-4870 to stave off hunger...so you know it gelato, sorbetto or Italian ice or grab a facebook.com/artebellapaintingonwill do the trick when those 4/20 six-pack to take home with you on the 4thave munchies come grumbling. When it way out. The best part is this place is easy on the wallet. Arte Bella on 4th Ave is a new addi- comes to finding the absolute best, fresh-baked bread in the Old Pueblo, tion to the historic shopping district those in the know go to Barrio Bread. Caruso’s and it looks like it will be a good one, We suggest getting there early to pick 434 N. Fourth Ave. too. Located in the former Cans Deli 520-624-5765 space, this place combines the perfect up a Birote—a Guadalajara style crusty bread—as they come right out of the places.singleplatform.com/carusos trinity of art, food and marijuana to create a mellow atmosphere laced with oven. It’s a perfect opportunity to have If classic Italian food is what you expressiveness. On 4/20, Arte Bella on a wake-and-bake session and then take an Uber over to the bakery! crave when you’re high, then Caruso’s 4th Ave will be hosting a celebration is where you need to be. Since the featuring live music, glow-in-the-dark Brooklyn Pizza 1930s, Caruso’s has been serving up painting and craft-making sessions. 354 N. Fourth Ave some of the best Italian favorites the Their restaurant, Fully Love’s, will be 520-622-6868 Old Pueblo has ever tasted. We sugserving burgers, vegan burgers, fries, Brooklynpizzacompany.com gest getting a seat on their patio and sides and desserts. They have a cannaordering the Caruso Special—spaghetbis-friendly area in the back, but it is Who doesn’t like a huge slice of ti, meatballs and a combination of BYOB—Bring Your Own Bud.
APRIL 15, 2021
PUFF PUFF...PAINT! BYOB Bring Your Own Bud
Let your Creativity Fly High… get your craft on and then get some munchies from our restaurant, Fullylove’s, in the front.
New Location! 6,000 square feet of creative space including a FULL BAR, STAGE, & CANNABIS FRIENDLY EVENTS! 340 N. 4th Ave. www.paintpuffpass.com
The Apollo 13 at Cheba Hut: grilled chicken breast, garlic butter, Kalamata olives, feta, spring mix and Greek dressing.
meat and cheese ravioli, topped with Caruso sauce. Fun fact: All the red Caruso sauce that has been served at the restaurant has been made in the same copper pot that has been in use since the restaurant first opened. Rollies Mexican Patio 4573 S. 12th Ave 520-300-6289 Rolliestucson.com This taqueria located on South 12th Avenue is absolutely divine. If you’ve never been there, Rollies Mexican Patio could quite possibly be THE place you need to get your munchies-relieving food from on 4/20. Start with the rolled tacos topped with either queso or rojo sauce (or both), move on to the birria cheesecrisp burger and take home a carne asada burro for the latenight sesh. Come find out why Chef Matteo Otero was voted Best Chef in Tucson Weekly’s Best of Tucson—two years in a row (2019 and 2020). Rocco’s Little Chicago 2707 E. Broadway Blvd. 520-321-1860 Roccoslittlechicago.com Rocco’s Little Chicago is a mecca for Italian comfort food. Specializing in
Chicago-style deep-dish pizza, pastas, calzones, Italian beef sandwiches and chicken wings, Rocco’s is going to make sure you don’t leave hungry. Our recommendation: smoke a joint before you go, get a Lyft to the pizzaria, order an 18-piece basket of hot wings, the U505 classic Italian sub, a Great Chicago Fire deep-dish pie, two Old Style in the can (if they got it) and proceed to grub down like you were Todd O’Conner on Bill Swerski’s Superfans. Da Bears! The Royal Room 450 N. Sixth Ave. 520-347-7023 Theroyalroomtucson Not everyone who gets a weed-induced snack attack wants to eat heavy. For those who would rather nosh on a bowl of Castelvetrano olives with a glass of wine or craft beer, we offer The Royal Room. This place serves up delicious sandwiches, cheesy tater tots and quick bites that pair well with your favorite merlot. If you’re looking for a chill environment to grab a bite and converse with friends, this is where to be on 4/20. CONTINUED ON PAGE 18
Homemade Taste of Italy on Historic 4th Avenue
Italian Restaurant • Est. 1938
Tues-Sun: 4pm-8pm Fri-Sat: 11:30am-9pm Sun: 11:30am-8pm 434 N 4th Ave.
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Frog and Firkin 874 E. University Blvd. 520-623-7507 Frogandfirkin.com If you find yourself stoned and on campus, go to Frog and Firkin. Featuring an extensive menu of English pub fare and pizza as well as 75 of the finest imported beers this great wide world has to offer. Did we mention their patio? It’s one of the best on University Boulevard to enjoy the sunshine and people watch. Pro tip: try their fish and chips! Cheba Hut 1820 E. Sixth St. 520-495-4719 Chebahut.com Weed-centric Cheba Hut is the place where the younger college crowd congregates every 4/20. Located near the University of Arizona stadium,
this ganja den specializes in every kind of sandwich you could ever want when stoned (or sober) and perfect munchies from teriyaki meatballs to a spicy hummus platter and everything in between. Cheba Hut also has you covered when you got cottonmouth. Enjoy a watermelon Kool-Aid or an adult beverage at their bar. To be honest, every day is 4/20 at Cheba Hut so make sure to put this place on your regular munchie list. Serial Grillers Multiple Locations Serialgrillersaz.com When you’re in the need of some killer food, Serial Grillers does not disappoint. This horror movie-themed restaurant offers a little of everything: burgers, chicken wings, chicken sandwiches, pizza, calzones, sandwiches, salads and some of the most murderously delicious cheesesteaks you’ve ever tasted. They also have an extensive collection of craft beers from around the county. With four locations throughout Pima County,
Best When Fully Baked
Serial Grillers loaded Jack of All Trades Cheeseburger topped with chipotle mayo, pico de gallo, French fries and three-pepper colby jack.
Serial Grillers will slay your cravings but not slash your wallet. If it’s your first time there, go with the Hannibal cheesesteak with a side of tater tots and an IPA. Amy’s Donuts 101 E. Fort Lowell Road 520-647-2481 Amysdonuts.com
R BEST E N N I W 2020 A Z Z I P UCSON T F O BEST
There are few things better than a good donut when you’ve got the
munchies. Amy’s Donuts has one of the biggest selections of fresh-baked, gourmet donuts that could satisfy anyone’s sweet tooth. Sure, Amy’s has got all the traditional donuts you could ever want, but where this place really shines is with their gourmet menu. Our standard order: two Cinnamon Toast Crunch donuts, two Cocoa Pebbles donuts, two cotton candy, three Chief Wiggum’s, 3 Elvis and one Cookie Monster (for the kids, of course). Make someone’s day and take a baker’s dozen over to a friend’s house this 4/20.
Voted Tucson’s Best Fresh Baked Bread 3 Years Running!
roccoslittlechicago.com 18 S. Eastbourne Ave. www.BarrioBread.com
DE W INS ITH LOCAL GRA
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Tumerico 2526 E. Sixth St. 520-240-6947
including the cost of the herb). El Guero Canelo’s Sonoran dogs are simply legendary and they’re conveniently located throughout Tucson. The problem: Their tacos and burritos are also dynamite. The solution: Smoke some more weed and you’ll have an appetite for everything. We suggest getting one sammy dog, two carne asada tacos and a bottle of Mexican Coca-Cola. Your munchies won’t know what hit them.
402 E. Fourth Ave. (520) 392-0224 Tumerico.com Trying Tumerico just once will make even the most diehard carnivores consider adopting a cruelty-free lifestyle. This gem offers outstanding vegan and vegetarian Latin food options like tacos al pastor made with jackfruit, sweet potato curry, tamales, mole enchiladas and more. If you’re looking for breakfast, Tumerico also serves up huevos rancheros, chilaquiles, machaca con huevos and barbacoa (substitute tofu instead of eggs to keep it vegan). For drinks, they offer many options such as fresh juice, turmeric lemonade and even a CBD latte. (You can add CBD to any drink.) With two locations to serve you, make Tumerico on your list of places to grab a bite at this Tuesday.
La Michoacana 3774 S. Sixth Ave. 520-372-2847 places.singleplatform.com/ paleteria-y-neveria-la-michoacana
Tumerico is truly a standout in Latin vegan/vegetarian cuisine and features an awesome selection of lattes.
El Guero Canelo Multiple Locations Elguerocanelo.com We’re not sure what it is about getting
stoned and eating a hot dog wrapped in bacon and topped with beans, onions, tomatoes, jalapeno sauce and mayo, but it’s one of the best experiences you can have for under $5 (not
La Michoacana stands out as a paletaria you need to check out this 4/20. Specializing in paletas in all flavors imaginable, real fruit juices, ensalada de frutas, agua frescas, licuados con leche (fruit milkshake) and licuados con agua (fruit smoothies), this place will please your palate when the cottonmouth comes. Make sure to try a paleta or two first and grab a limonada agua fresca on the way out. ■
A Firkin Good Time Since 2001
y, Thirst Got the ? ies h c n u m
Great Beer & Delicious Food! 874 East University Blvd 520 623 7507 FROGANDFIRKIN.COM Sunday-Thursday 11:00am - 1:00am, Friday-Saturday 11:00am - 2:00am
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Voted Tucson’s Best Pizza 9 Years Running!
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Earth’s Healing house preroll
FREE DELIVERY, QUICK PICK UP!
78 W. River Road 2075 E. Benson Highway
(520) 622-6868 • BrooklynPizzaCompany.com • 534 N 4th Ave Reader’s Choice Best Tacos
While we love the packaging of the Dutchie’s (they come six to a pack that could be mistaken for a Marlboro box) and the heavenly lift we get from a Green Halo pre-roll, Earth’s Healing’s house mix takes the top spot in the pre-roll category among our readers. Earth’s Healing sells onegram, hand-rolled pre-rolls with premium flower. $10. Second place: Green Halo house preroll Third place: Dutchie’s
Voted Best Chef Voted Best Birria 4573 S. 12th Avenue • 520-300-6289
Strains and Brands Best Soft-Drink THC Edible
Pure & Simple Prickly Lemonade
One of the best things about legalized cannabis is the tremendous variety of edible products that’s on the shelves. Halo Infusions and Extractions, headquartered at the Green Halo, partners with local roaster Yellow Brick Coffee to offer various coffees and teas and makes a variety of juice drinks squeezed fresh from organic fruits and loaded with 100mg of THC. Our readers gave the highest marks to the brand’s Prickly Lemonade, which pairs lemonade with the local flavors of prickly-pear fruit. If your day is clear on your calendar, we’d call this the breakfast of champions. Second place: Infusion Edibles Soda Third place: Happy Hour
Best THC Brownie
Aunt Ellie’s Medical Fudge Brownie HAPPY HOUR OPEN TO 7PM
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Aunt Ellie’s is another brand that comes to us from the good folks at the Green Halo, who bake up some of the finest artisan brownies in town at one of the lower price points. This year’s winner is the medical fudge brownie, which combines a rich
chocolate flavor with 150mg of THC goodness. Be sure to know your dose before you eat more than you can handle. Second place: Sublime Simple Brownie Third place: Revival Infused Edibles Brownie
Best Craft Baked Edible
Aunt Ellie’s Super Mega Brownie
One of our reviewers thought Aunt Ellie’s Super Mega Brownie was a mere 100mg. He’s no lightweight, so he thought he’d eat a fourth of it and absorb 25mg. Instead, it was around 60mg and he didn’t get much work done that day, although we did receive a number of odd dispatches. The moral of the story: Know your dose and read the packaging. The Super Mega Brownie is definitely not for lightweights and even if you medicate on the regular, you probably will get nine or 10 doses from one of these bad boys. Second place: Sublime Tea Cake 100MG Third place: HI KETO Chocolate Chip Cookies 200 MG
Best Candy THC Edible
There are so many gummies and other medicated candies on dispensary shelves these days that it’s hard to rise above, but Pure Gummies’ candies have clearly made an impact on our readers. A small-batch artisan confection maker, Pure offers gummies in watermelon, mango and tropical fruit flavors with strain specific options. Second place: Cannabliss Medical Star Gummies Third place: Wana Brands/Assorted Flavors
Best THC Topical
Halo Pain Relief Ointment (Green Halo) Aches and pains are so personal and mysterious that you never know what’s gonna work to ease your mind and body. We have sampled and found great results with all of our finalists in this category. Downtown Dispensary/D2’s iLAVA Touch cream and Desert Bloom’s Re-Leaf Body Balm have
APRIL 15, 2021
both delivered when we apply them to tender areas, but this year’s cream crown goes to Halo Pain Relief Ointment. However, you’ll need a medical card to get it, as Green Halo is not yet serving recreational patients. Second place: Re-Leaf Body Balm (Desert Bloom Re-Leaf Center) Third place: iLAVA Touch 250mg CBD /300mg THC (Downtown Dispensary/D2)
Best Indica Concentrate
Earth Extracts (Earth’s Healing)
There’s nothing like smoking fresh aromatic bud, but the extract revolution has transformed the cannabis industry. Chefs now use a process to extract THC, CBD and more from the plant in the form of an oil that can be used in vape cartridges or in baked goods. But in its most potent form, it comes in a waxy or goopy form called crumble, shatter or a number of other handles depending on its texture. When you dab it—that is, ignite it via a rig on a water pipe or some kind of e-rig, you can get very, very high. Our readers give top marks in this category to Earth Extracts.
From our sampling of their goods, we are sure we’d agree if we can just remember what happened during those two hours after we hit it. Second place: Halo Concentrates: Yoda OG (Green Halo) Third place: Live Resin/Kimbo Kush (Desert Bloom Re-Leaf Center)
Best Sativa Concentrate
Gorilla Glue #4 Concentrate (Green Halo)
The Green Halo’s Gorilla Glue #4 was our readers’ choice for the best sativa concentrate, even though it’s a bit of a hybrid that leans sativa. Still, the sativa takes center stage with this strain that you’ll find in batter form at Green Halo. Second place: Earth Extracts (Earth’s Healing) Third place: Releaf Brand Sugar Wax Tangie
Best Hybrid Concentrate
Earth Extracts (Earth’s Healing)
Earth Extracts scores again among our readers, for good reason. Whether you’re looking for shatter, batter or sugar wax, Earth’s Healing has your concentrate of choice in a range of flavors. Second place: Modified Grapes Concentrate (Green Halo) Third place: Re-Leaf Brand Shatter Girl Scout Cookies (Desert Bloom Re-Leaf Center)
Best Sativa Vape Cartridge
Earthvape (Earth’s Healing)
Back in the Before Times, when we still went to rock ’n’ roll shows or out for drinks with friends or maybe went to a movie, we loved our vape cartridges. They were stealthy ways we could elevate our mood without the skunky stink of a joint or the time commitment that comes with an edi-
ble. Earthvape, the house brand at Earth’s Healing, was one of our absolute favorites. You’d catch a solid buzz but you’d be back to earth within a reasonable time. Earthvapes come in a variety of flavors and strains. Second place: Gorilla Glue #4 by Halo Third place: Durban Poison by iLAVA ClearGold (Downtown Dispensary/D2)
Best Indica Vape Cartridge
Earthvape (Earth’s Healing)
You can’t go wrong with any of the finalists in this category. Green Halo’s Yoda OG and Downtown Dispensary’s Granddaddy Purple are both fine oils that will ease your mind and body. But our readers put the Earthvape at the top of the heap for this category as well as the sativa cartridge, so you know Earth’s Healing is doing something right. Second place: Yoda OG by Halo Third place: Granddaddy Purple by iLAVA ClearGold (Downtown Dispensary/D2) CONTINUED ON PAGE 22
Voted Tu Best Vegcson’s Vegetarian/ an 2 Years in a Row !
Come and try our CBD Infused Tacos and Relleno It’s all about food, serving the community by healing through food. Food is home. home. Food is family.
4th Ave Location 402 E 4thst. Corner of 4th Avenue & 4th Street 520-392-0224
6th St location 2526 E. 6 St. 520-240-6947
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LET’S GET SMALL The Latest In Edible Science: Nano-Emulsification By Jeff Gardner email@example.com AS THE WHEELS OF THE CANNABIS industry turn ever faster, new technologies continue to move from labs to dispensary shelves. For Arizonans, two new edible options are available that utilize a nano-emulsification process. A quick science lesson: nano-emulsions are described in the National Center for Biotechnology Information as an “advanced mode of drug delivery” in which two liquids are combined by an emulsifying agent—in the cannabis world, this includes THC or CBD oil. And while this process can result in improved stability and consistency of the product, cannabis users may be most interested in a nano-emulsion’s increased bioavailability: the proportion of a drug that is able to have an active effect on the user. The Scottsdale-based cannabis company Sprinkle by Vantage Biosciences is using this technology for their dissolvable products that can be used in a variety of CONTINUED FROM PAGE 21
Best Hybrid Vape Cartridge
Earthvape (Earth’s Healing) And it’s Earth’s Healing for the sweep in THC cartridges, winning best hybrid, sativa and indica. A big round of applause for these saucy gents! Second place: Larry OG 1000MG Halo Cartridge (Green Halo) Third place: ILAVA ClearGold Cartridge 1000mg - Blue Dream (Downtown Dispensary/D2)
Best CBD Vape Cartridge
Earthvape (Earth’s Healing) We will tell you that the finalists in this category are all top of the line. Desert Bloom’s Shirley Temple does indeed provide a certain relief while allowing us to keep our heads clear, while Nature Med’s CBD Wellness may be the highest quality
food and drinks. Sprinkle is a flavorless and odorless product similar to a packet of sugar or salt, and comes in 10 mg servings. Because of the nano-emulsification process, Sprinkle can be absorbed through the mouth, throat and stomach, entering the bloodstream more quickly than traditional edibles, which are processed by the liver after they pass through your digestive system. As a result, Sprinkle’s products take effect in only 10 to 15 minutes and utilize more of the THC than traditional edibles. The idea to use nano-emulsification for cannabis came to Sprinkle CEO Jonathan Tessmar in December 2019. The product was developed throughout 2020, and is now available at dispensaries throughout the state. “I always loved branding and science, and I wanted to make something tangible, something physical that a consumer could enjoy,” said Tessmar, who has a background in biomedicine and the cannabis industry. “With a product that’s first to market, you’re going to have a very high learning curve and we really had to focus on education to the consumer.” The standard Sprinkle dissolvable is 10 mgs of THC, 0 mgs of CBD, and 0 calories. However, they recently announced their Sprinkle Night Relaxation, which includes 3 mgs of melatonin in addition
to their 10 mgs of THC. The company is also planning a “day boost” product with 150 mgs caffeine. Because of Sprinkle’s adaptability to anything from coffee to protein shakes to guacamole, Tessmar says the product allows casual consumers to enjoy cannabis without doing anything they’re “not used to doing.” “We’re really focusing on being a supplement company that just so happens to use THC as an active ingredient,” Tessmar said. “We’re trying to segment ourselves away from the traditional wake-and-bake, stoner culture. We want to empower consumers to use cannabis and all of its beneficial properties in their lifestyle. I wanted to develop something that would be tailored to the type of consumer I am.” Looking ahead, Tessmar plans to work with Arizona State University on a clinical trial to test the specifics of Sprinkle’s increased bioavailability. “Not only are we creating a great product, but we want to back the science behind it. I think it’s very important to prove the efficacy,” Tessmar said. “Once that comes out, I think a lot of consumers are going to migrate away from traditional edibles and toward nano-empowered products.” Sprinkle is available at local dispensaries including Earth’s Healing, Harvest
and Downtown Dispensary. Curaleaf, which operates dispensaries in more than 20 states, is also getting into the nano-emulsification game, but rather than a flavorless sprinkle for any consumable, they’ve unveiled a liquid beverage enhancer similar to MiO. The Curaleaf “Select Squeeze” debuted in late March with four different flavors in a fast-acting water-soluble formula. “We developed Select Squeeze to address the rising market demand for edibles and beverage products alongside the increasing adoption of cannabis,” said Jessie Kater, senior vice president of Manufacturing for Curaleaf. “We wanted to create a great-tasting, fast-acting beverage solution for those who are looking to try cannabis for the first time, or for those seeking alternative forms of consumption.” Curaleaf has developed Select Squeeze over the past year. The product’s bottle design features a “fill-and-pour reservoir” to ensure consistent and precise 5 mg servings. Select Squeeze is currently available in lemon lime, watermelon, strawberry lemonade and “hint of sweet” flavors. Select Squeeze can be found at local dispensaries including Downtown Dispensary, Purple Med, Harvest, Prime Leaf, Bloom, Green Med, Botanica and Nature Med. ■
CBD we’ve ever come across. So it says a lot about Earthvape’s CBD alternative that our readers put them at the top.
Best Indica Flower Strain
the big hybrid winner this year, although we’ve heard raves about Girl Scout Cookies at Desert Bloom Re-Leaf Center and the Jenny Kush strain at Nature Med. With a sweet hint of pine flavor, Super Sherb is a joy to smoke. The strain is great for pain relief, anxiety reduction and an allaround mood enhancer.
Second place: CBD Wellness Natural Vape (Nature Med) Third place: Re-Leaf Brands Shirley Temple (Desert Bloom Re-Leaf Center)
Best Sativa Flower Strain
Double Dream (Desert Bloom Re-Leaf Center)
Longtime cannabis aficionados are always going to love the herb in its original form, especially now that they can purchase fresh buds rich with terpenes and flavor. This year’s favorite sativa strain goes to Desert Bloom Re-Leaf Center for Double Dream. The strain isn’t a pure sativa, but the sativa is still dominant enough to ensure you don’t slip into couchlock (unless that’s what you’re after). Second place: Monday Driver (Green Halo) Third place: Shangri La (NatureMed)
Vanilla Bean (The Green Halo) Remember the days when we were just lucky to score some cheap, dry weed filled with sticks and seeds that tasted terrible and gave you a mild buzz after about two dozen bong hits? Things have sure changed, with so many choices of quality bud on the market. Vanilla Bean, named for its undertone of vanilla flavor, is an indica that will most definitely provide the relief you’re after. Second place: Mendo Breath (NatureMed) Third place: Face Off OG (Desert Bloom Re-Leaf Center)
Best Hybrid Flower Strain
Super Sherb (The Green Halo) Super Sherb, available at Green Halo, is
Second place: Girl Scout Cookies (Desert Bloom Re-Leaf Center) Third place: Jenny Kush (NatureMed)
Best CBD Flower Strain
Purple Kush (CBD Wellness) If you enjoy the flavor of cannabis and want to have the benefits of CBD without the hazy feelings brought on by THC, then you won’t find a more dedicated team than the crew at CBD Wellness. Their Purple Kush could very well help cure what ails you without getting you high. Second place: Sour G Third place: Cherry Mom
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PRODUCT REVIEWS By Tucson Weekly Review Team WITH THE CANNABIS MARKET opening to recreational customers, you might be wondering what kind of product is on the shelves of our local dispensaries. Well, the 21st century has brought quite a revolution to marijuana products, what with marijuana extracts now being used in edibles and sold in a variety of forms, including vape cartridges and high-potency concentrates that are known as shatter, budder, sugar wax and other slang names. Keep in mind that unless you’re part of Arizona’s medical marijuana program, you are limited to buying edibles in doses no larger than 10mg and in packages of no more than 10 (which is one advantage, beyond the tax benefits, of
paying an extra couple hundred bucks to remain within the medical system). REVIVAL BRAND CANDIES AND BAKED GOODS If you’ve been frustrated because you haven’t seen any Love Carissa heartshaped edibles around our local dispensaries, keep an eye out for Revival candies, cookies and brownies. The company decided to rebrand itself earlier this year, but it kept the recipe the same: The edibles are processed with butter and kief (the dust-like residue of bud and terps that settles at the bottom of your grinder or weed jar) rather than extracted concentrate. The result is a gentle elevation over the course of an hour or so that can sneak up on you before you realize that you’re now up, up and away! Revival offers a range of
doses, so here’s where your medical card can come in handy. They have delicious 10mg chocolate chip cookies that come in a 50mg package, which is available to rec and med patients. But they also carry more potent stuff that is limited to medical patients, such as a line of 40mg lollipops, a 100mg brownie or a massive 200mg chocolate candy bar. It’s all delicious and you won’t go wrong with any of it, unless you eat more than you should and end up curled up on a couch. Know your dose! CBD/THC Wellness CBD—the chemical in cannabis that does not deliver a euphoric and hazy feeling but does provide relief from physical pain and mental anxiety for some people—is everywhere these days, from drinks to lotions to smokable cartridges. Hell, we even saw an ad for a CBD-enhanced sports bras and workout clothes. CBD is largely unregulated, however, so you don’t really know what you’re getting. But if you’re looking for CBD from a reputable source, you can count on a high-quality dose from CBD Wellness, which is made right here in Pima County under the aegis of Mara-
na’s NatureMed dispensary. You can get varying concentrations of CBD in flavored or unflavored tinctures, lotions and vape cartridges. Sister company THC Wellness makes similar products and we’ve discovered that the tinctures CONTINUED ON PAGE 26
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are not only great when we use a dropper to take a little but also when we use it to spike our food—not that we’d ever do that without telling our dinner guests. And if you’re in the mood for some real relaxation sometime, consider the THC bath salts. You won’t find a better soak. IO EXTRACTS BATTER The little box this comes in warns you should “prepare for liftoff ”—and they’re not kidding. This golden-colored live-resin concentrate has a lovely flavor to go along with its powerful kick. We recommend trying IO Extracts’ Asteroids because they’ll blast you into orbit and keep you on another level for a hot minute. If you haven’t tried these kinds of concentrates before, go really slow because it can put you into orbit faster than an Atlas V rocket. As they say, a little dab will do you.
some idea of the soft-yet-firm consistency of WANA gummies. These treats, which land in a Goldielocks zone of not too sweet and not too sour, have been a big hit in the Tucson Weekly Test Department. They come in a range of doses, so recreational customers who are limited to candies of no more than 10mg can pick up a pack of 10, while medical customers can enjoy doses of up to 30mg. You’ll also find CBD WANA gummies as well as some that include a THC/CBD cocktail. Each craft batch of Wana gummies is infused with premium extract and is made with all-natural flavors and colors. They are also vegan and gluten-free, if that kind of thing is important to you. Definitely one of the finest candy concoctions on the market.
Now here’s something we hadn’t seen before: The Dablicator. The upside of using extracts such as sugar wax or shatter: It’ll get you very high. The downside of using extracts is that the sticky stuff can get messy when you add it to your specialized e-rig, nectar collector or whatever device you are using to smoke it. (If you’re serious about smoking shatter or budder or wax, you’ll need some kind of specialized tool.) Downtown Dispensary/D2 has found its way around that hassle with The Dablicator, a pen that lets you squeeze out precise doses of your extract. No muss, no fuss, a great high. What more can you ask for? ILAVA CARTRIDGES Also found at the Downtown Dispensary/D2: Quality cartridges in the iLava brand. Besides the usual range of sativa, indica and hybrid strains in their cartridges, Downtown/D2 offers isolated cannabinoids like their Delta 8 THC, which has a lower psychotropic potency when compared to the more common cannabinoid, Delta 9. Basically, it gets you relaxed, yet uplifting feeling while being able to maintain a clear head. Their Entourage vape cartridges feature both Delta 8 and Delta 9 and other compounds to form a full spectrum cannabis oil with a synergistic terpene experience to deliver a near-euphoric experience.
WANA GUMMIES COURTESY PHOTO
If you remember eating prickly-pear cactus gummies as a kid, you’ll have
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INDICA PM/ZENZONA/HIKETO The Downtown Dispensary/D2 operations have only recently started cooking up edibles with their own cannabis distillate, but they are making up for lost time with their treats. Their zenzona gummies come in both indica and sativa strains and a variety of flavors, though we’re partial to the watermelon and prickly pear options. They also have an Indica PM brand that includes hard candies and Belgian dark chocolates. Although they are advertised for nighttime use, we found they worked just fine while the sun was shining too. And they’re even looking out for anyone on a low-carb diet with HiKeto chocolate chip cookies, which are “high on goodness, low on guilt.”
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DUTCHIE’S We’ve said it before and we’ll say it again: We love Dutchie’s, the half-gram, pre-rolled joints made from premium flower that come six to a pack in a variety of strains. And when we say pack, we mean a box that mirrors the classic cigarette box. Who didn’t dream of buying a box of joints legally back in the day? Thanks to Dutchie’s, you can wrap that pack in your shirt sleeve and head out for a night. How cool is that? HALO INFUSIONS & EXTRACTIONS Tucson’s own Halo Infusions and Extractions produces some of the region’s best edibles and extracts. All of their products feature broad spectrum cannabinoid therapy which give the user the “entourage effect” that not only delivers stoney effects but fantastic body highs that promote relaxation. Some of the company’s brands include Aunt Ellie’s brownies and cookies that are medicated at all different levels; Cannabliss has two different THC infused hot sauces,
medicated gummies, and Pure and Simple infused juices and their Green Halo line specializes in medicated chocolate bars, cartridges and flower. We’ve tried many products by Halo Infusions and Extracts over the years and can’t say we’ve ever come across a dud. They recently added some 25mg cookies, including 25mg gluten-free ginger cookies that are so good, we’d like to build a house of them next Christmas, and some 10mg lollipops. EARTH EXTRACTS Earth Healing Dispensary’s Earth Extracts brand is known for having the purest products available in the southwest. The company strives to produce the highest-quality medication and the lowest price possible to help out the medical marijuana community. They offer a variety of concentrates like shatter, budder, crumble, live resin sauce, sugar wax and distillate pens. Their Durban Poison distillate truly mirrors the flower strain and is perfect for keeping you productive throughout your work day or enjoying a nice hike. Earth Extracts also produces an amazing Golden Lemons Terp Suger extract that’s perfect to dab
or add to a bowl of flower and leaves you feeling great without melting your mind. RE-LEAF BRANDS Desert Bloom Re-Leaf Center owner Aari Ruben is always experimenting to find out how he can mix cannabis with lotions, lip balms, sunscreen and more, so you’ll find all sorts of body products that are designs to ease pain and
keep your skin soft. Desert Bloom also carries a house-made line of tinctures of THC, CBD and hybrid concoctions, as well as strong (as in 30mg) hard candy lozenges. These artisan treats will most definitely cure what ails you. And if you want something really unique, Desert Bloom also carries suppositories that will get the job done when you don’t feel like smoking or eating anything.
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Special Exception for stand-alone adult use licenses (aka “social equity licenses”) to reduce setback requirements. The change that will likely have the biggest effect is the reduction of “setback,” the amount of distance between dispensaries and “sensitive use” establishments— schools, churches, parks, in-patient rehab facilities and libraries—and dispensaries to each other. Setback has been reduced to 500 feet, while the distance between dispensaries has been increased to 2,000 feet to avoid clustering of pot businesses. The state minimum for cannabis establishments is 500 feet, but for alcohol-related businesses it is 300 feet. The reduction of setbacks will open up several thousand parcels for cannabis-related businesses, up from less than 2,000, in locations that may be more appropriate, such as strip malls or other business districts with ample parking and amenities, rather than neighborhood locations that have been inundated with crowds seeking legal adult-use pot in the wake of sales beginning in January. Council also gave itself an option to revisit setback distances in the future once the Arizona Department of Health Services gets the social equity rules in place, but
EXPANDED OPPORTUNITIES City of Tucson updates zoning for pot-related businesses By David Abbott firstname.lastname@example.org AFTER MONTHS OF DISCUSSIONS, the Tucson City Council last week updated the city’s zoning code related to cannabis dispensaries, opening a wide swath of potential locations to an expanding and lucrative business sector. In a unanimous vote at the Tuesday, April 6 Tucson City Council meeting, council amended its Unified Development Code Related to Medical and Adult Use Marijuana Dispensaries in order to expand cannabis business opportunities and to come more into line with zoning codes in other states where marijuana has been legalized.
The changes to the UDC are as follows: • Increase maximum size of a dispensary and off-site cultivation facility from 4,000 square feet to 10,000 square feet; • Amend odor mitigation regulation to address enforcement issues; • Remove the restriction on drive-thrus for marijuana facilities; • Add Marijuana Dispensary Off-site Manufacturing Location as a new use; • Amend language in the ordinance so that the regulations address both medical marijuana and adult use marijuana; • Reduce separation from sensitive uses to align with how marijuana is treated in other states that have legalized recreational marijuana; and, • Add an option for Mayor and Council
there is no timeline for that to occur. Much of the discussion on the issue has taken place over the course of the past nine months beginning last August. A study session prior to last week’s council meeting hammered out most of the details, but much of the discussion that evening addressed concerns about 26 social equity licenses—essentially, licenses for minority applicants because those groups have been unfairly targeted for drug enforcement in the past. Those licenses, created by last year’s initiative that legalized adult use of cannabis, will be distributed by the state once the rules are in place. Tucson Mayor Regina Romero set the tone early, asserting her desire for the city’s input to be part of the AZDHS process creating the social equity rules. In order to apply for a dispensary license, applicants must pay a non-refundable $25,000 fee and demonstrate they have $500,000 in liquid assets, putting dispensary ownership out of reach for much of the population social equity licenses is meant to serve. “In Tucson, for the most part, the market consists of small, locally owned business owners, but we also have industry heavyweights that are eyeing Tucson and the CONTINUED ON PAGE 34
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APRIL 15, 2021
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state of Arizona with this adult-use issue,” Romero said. “Right now the system is very favorable to industry giants through exorbitant application fees, and many minority communities simply lack the access to capital that the current system demands.” She then proposed a temporary halt on single-use and social equity dispensaries until the rules have been established by the state. “We want these businesses here, that’s not the issue,” Romero concluded. “This is a temporary approach so that we can provide input and to see what the rulemaking process with AZDHS looks like.” Romero wants to be part of a multi-city movement to participate in the rulemaking to ensure the program works the way it is intended. “The City of Tucson is making a collective effort to center equity in their processes and that implies allowing an opportunity to plan appropriately for new licenses regardless of how many are expected in the City of Tucson,” she said. “Both the City of Tempe and the City of Flagstaff are exploring temporary halts for the social equity license for the same reasons that I am bringing this to you today. The goal is to make this a multi-city effort to rein in some local control for these social equity licenses. Social equity, in my mind, would include promoting workers’ rights and how they put these rules together.” What the discussion ultimately came down to was opening up restrictions for existing dispensaries to have the opportunity to relocate to “more appropriate locations” throughout the city. Councilmember Steve Kozachik (Ward 6) echoed the mayor’s sentiments about the barriers to small business
Kozachik added that while those owners getting one of the few licenses zoning codes were created out of caution, that will be available, but stressed the what has happened with the marijuana benefits of opening up more locations. “Mom and pop down the street are not business necessitates a new way of thinkgoing to empty that cookie jar and make ing about the effects of municipal zoning. “When we adopted the existing setthat application,” he said. “I’m not sure back requirements 10 years ago, we were how we get our voice in that conversalooking at Colorado, worried about what tion because AZDHS is the one that’s was gonna happen, Reefer Madness and going to set the rules.… By our changwe’re all going to see a headshop on ing the current setback requirements, every corner,” he we’re opening the said. “Now we’ve door not only for seen that what we existing [dispeneffectively did was saries] to move to that we created more appropriate such restrictive locations, but setbacks that the we’ll be providing site is choosing locations for the the use instead of eventual licensees users coming out so that they’re and selecting the not restricted. If appropriate site.” they’re operating He added that under our current there are “vacant rules right now it storefronts all over wouldn’t matter the community how many licensright now with a es they issued, boatload of parkthere’s nowhere ing in the midfor them to go.” dle of shopping Ward 2 Councenters.” cilmember Paul Cunningham Cunningham, who CouncilmemberPaul Cunningham added that there was ready to put Tucson (Ward 2) would be fallout planning commisfrom the community no matter what sion proposed changes in place from decision the council came to, so they the outset, said the setback changes should make as bold a move as possible. were necessary to address some of the “It doesn’t matter which option we mistakes that were made more than a pick, someone’s going to call up and decade ago, when medical marijuana they’ll be mad about where we put the was first legalized in Arizona. dispensary,” he said. “We’re just going to “We’ve had a situation in the past have to accept that and do the best we where we’ve not approved a dispensary can with the information we have.” for a place that would have been a good Local advocates see the zoning place,” he said. “Dispensaries unintendamendments as good economic sense edly end up in kinda weird places, like that help further the intent of Prop 207 tucked in the middle of a neighborhood and add jobs and tax revenues to the or something.”
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city’s coffers. Downtown and D2 Dispensary owner Moe Asnani supports what the city is doing, as the cannabis industry looks to be a big job creator in the coming years. “I think it is one of the best things mayor and council could have done for Tucson,” Asnani wrote in a recent text message. “We are at the beginning of a cannabis renaissance statewide and the nation is about to come around: This move will create thousands of jobs in Southern Arizona.” Southern Arizona NORML President Mike Robinette appreciates council’s forward-thinking, including the addition of drive-thrus for dispensaries. “We appreciate the city accommodating the dual licensees with more square footage for their medical and adult-use operations. We are also grateful to the city for adding drive-thrus as well as allowing dual licensees the opportunity to move their locations,” he said. “We truly appreciate the city’s awareness of the potential for the social equity program to be ‘gamed’ by large operators and are excited that this delay will result in the City of Tucson facilitating adult-use social equity licenses to only those who are truly deserving of participation in the social equity program.” The city does not have a lot of control over regulation of cannabis dispensaries, and is limited to land use, dispensary size and dealing with complaints from the public. The odor mitigation update creates clarity on how the city responds to complaints. “This gives us clarity as to how to respond to that,” Tucson’s principal planner Dan Bursuck said last week prior to the council meeting. “So if someone from a neighborhood files a formal complaint, it requires us to do an inspection to see if they’re meeting [their odor mitigation] plan.”
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Even if Tucson gets some of the social equity licenses, Bursuck does not expect the overall number of shops to be more than 15 or 20. There are currently 13 licensed dispensaries in the city’s sphere of influence. While many smaller, more conservative communities in the state have moved to restrict the marijuana business as much as possible, the City of Tucson has embraced it as a legitimate and growing business. Tucson’s Planning Commission has been working on updating the UDC since last August and Bursuck said it has been a “quick timeline for a code amendment,” but that council wanted to address the issue as soon as possible because things are changing so fast in the industry. “It’s looking at other states that have realized how things are changing,”
Bursuck said, citing a number of states that have recently enacted some type of pot legalization from Virginia to New Mexico. “You’re seeing a lot of states saying, ‘You know what? This is an income stream that we really need,’ and seeing what its impact has been in other states that have done it. It’s really interesting to see things change so quickly.” The year 2020 saw a big increase in economic activity in the sector, from $700 million in total medicinal sales in 2019 to topping $1 billion in 2020, according to Leafly, an online information clearinghouse for the marijuana industry. There was an attendant job bonanza, with Arizona adding 5,648 jobs in 2020 to bring the total to 20,728 individuals employed in the sector. That number is only expected to grow as the industry expands over the course of the next several years. ■
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Downtown Dispensary. 221 E. 6th St., Ste. 105 838-0492; thedowntowndispensary.com Open: 9 a.m. to 9 p.m., daily
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APRIL 15, 2021
FREE WILL ASTROLOGY
By Rob Brezsny. Go to RealAstrology.com to check out Rob Brezsny’s EXPANDED WEEKLY HOROSCOPE 1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700 $1.99 per minute. 18 and over. Touchtone phone required.
ARIES (March 21-April 19): “Today I feel the whole world is a door,” wrote poet Dennis Silk. In a similar spirit, 13th-century Zen master Wumen Huikai observed, “The whole world is a door of liberation, but people are unwilling to enter it.” Now I’m here to tell you, Aries, that there will be times in the coming weeks when the whole world will feel like a door to you. And if you open it, you’ll be led to potential opportunities for interesting changes that offer you liberation. This is a rare blessing. Please be sufficiently loose and alert and brave to take advantage. TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Taurus philosopher Ludwig Wittgenstein was called a genius by Nobel Prize-winning author Bertrand Russell. His Philosophical Investigations was once voted the 20th century’s most important philosophy book. Yet one of Wittgenstein’s famous quotes was “How hard it is to see what is right in front of my eyes!” Luckily for all of us, I suspect that won’t be problem for you in the coming weeks, Taurus. In fact, I’m guessing you will see a whole range of things that were previously hidden, even though some of them had been right in front of your eyes. Congrats! Everyone whose life you touch will benefit because of this breakthrough. GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Why don’t rivers flow straight? Well, sometimes they do, but only for a relatively short stretch. According to the US Geological Survey, no river moves in a linear trajectory for a distance of more than 10 times its width. There are numerous reasons why this is so, including the friction caused by banks and the fact that river water streams faster at the center. The place where a river changes direction is called a “meander.” I’d like to borrow this phenomenon to serve as a metaphor for your life in the coming weeks. I suspect your regular flow is due for a course change—a meander. Any intuitive ideas
about which way to go? In which direction will the scenery be best? CANCER (June 21-July 22): Cancerian poet Denis Johnson eventually became a celebrated writer who won numerous prizes, including the prestigious National Book Award. But life was rough when he was in his twenties. Because of his addictions to drugs and alcohol, he neglected his writing. Later, in one of his mature poems, he expressed appreciation to people who supported him earlier on. “You saw me when I was invisible,” he wrote, “you spoke to me when I was deaf, you thanked me when I was a secret.” Are there helpers like that in your own story? Now would be a perfect time to honor them and repay the favors. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22): What do you believe in, exactly, Leo? The coming weeks will be a fine time to take an inventory of your beliefs—and then divest yourself of any that no longer serve you, no longer excite you, and no longer fit your changing understanding of how life works. For extra credit, I invite you to dream up some fun new beliefs that lighten your heart and stimulate your playfulness. For example, you could borrow poet Charles Wright’s approach: “I believe what the thunder and lightning have to say.” Or you could try my idea: “I believe in wonders and marvels that inspire me to fulfill my most interesting dreams.” VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): Virgo poet Charles Wright testifies, “I write poems to untie myself, to do penance and disappear through the upper right-hand corner of things, to say grace.” What about you, Virgo? What do you do in order to untie yourself and do penance and invoke grace? The coming weeks will be an excellent time for you to use all the tricks at your disposal to accomplish such useful transformations. And if you currently have a low supply of the necessary tricks, make it
SAVAGE LOVE LETTER RIP
By Dan Savage, firstname.lastname@example.org
I’m a female in my late twenties. I broke up with a toxic ex about a year ago and I’ve been walking around (my house!) thinking I was over it. I never missed him and rarely thought about him. A brief backstory: In the final months of us living together, we started having more discussions about children and a making lifelong commitment. He told me he wanted both yet at this exact time his moderate depression became more severe and he refused to get help. I tolerated his cruel behavior because I knew how badly he was hurting. This ranged from icing me out to berating me and demanding I leave the home that we shared—my
house—citing his need for “alone” time. One time he demanded I get up and leave in the middle of the night and go to a friend’s house! It’s worth noting the sex was mediocre at best, which I chalked it up to him being a decade older. My self-esteem suffered. I finally left. Fast forward to now. I find out he’s been dating a man. I can barely cope with the anger I feel about this. I feel like a casualty of his shame. We have progressive friends! His sister has dated women! His parents are accepting! None of the reasons you list as appropriate ones for staying closeted apply to him, Dan! His inability to accept himself caused me the
your healthy obsession to get more. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 22): Kublai Khan, ruler of the Mongol Empire and China in the second half of the 13th century, kept a retinue of 5,000 astrologers on retainer. Some were stationed on the roof of his palace, tasked with using sorcery to banish approaching storm clouds. If you asked me to perform a similar assignment, I would not do so. We need storms! They bring refreshing rain, and keep the earth in electrical balance. Lightning from storms creates ozone, a vital part of our atmosphere, and it converts nitrogen in the air into nitrogen in the ground, making the soil more fertile. Metaphorical storms often generate a host of necessary and welcome transformations, as well—as I suspect they will for you during the coming weeks. SCORPIO (Oct. 23-Nov. 21): “Unexpressed emotions will never die,” declared trailblazing psychologist Sigmund Freud. “They are buried alive and they will come forth, later, in uglier ways.” I agree, which is why I advise you not to bury your emotions— especially now, when they urgently need to be aired. OK? Please don’t allow a scenario in which they will emerge later in ugly ways. Instead, find the courage to express them soon—in the most loving ways possible, hopefully, and with respect for people who may not be entirely receptive to them. Communicate with compassionate clarity. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21): Sagittarian author Cristin O’Keefe Aptowicz wrote a poem entitled “Not Doing Something Wrong Isn’t the Same as Doing Something Right.” I propose that we make that thought one of your guiding themes during the next two weeks. If you choose to accept the assignment, you will make a list of three possible actions that fit the description “not doing something wrong,” and three actions that consist of “doing something right.” Then you will avoid doing the three wrong things named in the first list and give your generous energy to carrying out the three right things in the second list. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19): In the past few weeks,
most severe emotional trauma of my life and I just feel enraged. I logically know this is not about me. It’s about him. So why does this retroactively bother me so much? Part of me wants to say something to him but I’m not sure that would make me feel better. I’d be very appreciative of any guidance you may have. Not sure what to think. —Bitterly Enraged And Really Distressed I don’t want to add to your rage, BEARD, but that night he made you go to a friend’s house? It wasn’t “alone time” he was after. Dude was hosting. Before I tell you to do about you rage, BEARD, there’s something I wanna clear up: I don’t think having the opposite of everything your ex-boyfriend had—I don’t think having conservative friends
I hope you’ve been treating yourself like a royal child. I hope you’ve been showering yourself with extra special nurturing and therapeutic treatments. I hope you’ve been telling yourself out loud how soulful and intelligent and resilient you are, and I hope you’ve delighted yourself by engaging with a series of educational inspirations. If for some inexplicable reason you have not been attending to these important matters with luxurious intensity, please make up for lost time in the coming days. Your success during the rest of 2021 depends on your devout devotion to self-care right now. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18): Sometimes when a disheartening kind of darkness encroaches, we’re right to be afraid. In fact, it’s often wise to be afraid, because doing so may motivate us to ward off or transmute the darkness. But on other occasions, the disheartening darkness that seems to be encroaching isn’t real, or else is actually less threatening than we imagine. Novelist John Steinbeck described the latter when he wrote, “I know beyond all doubt that the dark things crowding in on me either did not exist or were not dangerous to me, and still I was afraid.” My suspicion is that this is the nature of the darkness you’re currently worried about. Can you therefore find a way to banish or at least diminish your fear? PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20): “Some people, if they didn’t make it hard for themselves, might fall asleep,” wrote novelist Saul Bellow. In other words, some of us act as if it’s entertaining, even exciting, to attract difficulties and cause problems for ourselves. If that describes you even a tiny bit, Pisces, I urge you to tone down that bad habit in the coming weeks—maybe even see if you can at least partially eliminate it. The cosmic rhythms will be on your side whenever you take measures to drown out the little voices in your head that try to undermine and sabotage you. At least for now, say “NO!” to making it hard for yourself. Say “YES!” to making it graceful for yourself. ■ Homework. Tell me about your most interesting problem—the one that teaches you the most. FreeWillAstrology.com.
instead of progressive friends, straight sisters instead of bi or heteroflexible sisters, shitty parents instead of accepting parents—are appropriate reasons for a grown-ass man in his thirties stay closeted. When people are young and dependent on their parents, sure, having shitty parents and no support from friends or siblings is good reason to stay closeted in high school and maybe until after college. But it’s no excuse for remaining closeted into your thirties—and it’s certainly no excuse for using someone the way your ex appears to have used you, i.e. as a beard, BEARD. (Urban Dictionary: “The girlfriend or boyfriend of a closeted homosexual, used to conceal their homosexuality.”) Another thing I wanna clear up: there are lots of guys out there in their thirties
APRIL 15, 2021
and forties and fifties and beyond who are good at sex and lots of guys in their twenties who are mediocre at best. Alright, BEARD, you have every right to be angry. You put a lot of time and effort into this relationship and if turns out your ex is gay, well, that means he was lying to you and using you and wasting your time. It’s possible he’s bisexual, however, in which case he wasn’t being fully honest with you but may not have been using you or wasting your time. But gay or bi, your ex treated you very poorly and the news that he’s dating a man now is making you reassess your relationship and his depression, to say nothing of that night he threw you out of your own home because he needed “alone time.” To look back on a relationship and think, “I did what I could and it didn’t work out but at least I tried,” is different than looking back and knowing, “Nothing I did could’ve made any difference and I was cruelly used.” I think there are two things you need to do now: Resolve never make excuses for someone who treats you with cruelty again. We all have our moments, of course, but someone who can’t treat their partners with some modicum of respect and compassion even when they’re struggling isn’t in good enough working order to be in a relationship in the first place. And I think you should write him a letter and really unload on him. Tell him you’re angry, tell him why. You may or may not get a response— you may or may not want one—but you’ll feel better after the writing the letter. And who knows? If he responds with a heartfelt apology, BEARD, you may feel even better. Cis male here. A number of years ago I saw a woman for a few months and then we parted ways. NBD. However, I later learned she was pregnant and I’ve always wondered if the child was mine. We haven’t talked for years but we’re still friends on FB so I see periodic updates and pics of the kid. It’s always just be pics of my ex and her son and I don’t ever see pics of anyone who be the father. However, this morning I saw a post saying that her son will be turning seven in May, which would mean he was born May 2014 and was conceived approximately August of. 2013. We stopped sleeping together the late July of 2013, so it’s probably outside the realm of possibility that this could be my kid. We
me on all social media. Fast forward to last Sunday. He texts me saying he wants to hook up. The next Sunday he texts asking me for pictures. I ask if he’s seeing someone else and he tells me that isn’t any of my business. We hook up. Now I feel guilty and don’t know what to do. His apartment has mysteriously improved. It’s like a girl has been staying there and it’s most likely the girl from the snowstorm. I don’t know if I should reach out to this girl to tell her what happened. When we first started hooking up in 2019, he said we were exclusive. A couple of months later he said he lied about being exclusive and that I should go get tested. Clearly this is a pattern for him. Should I warn the woman he’s with now? I definitely would’ve appreciated it if someone had warned me about this guy in 2019. —Himbo Utterly No Good
LETTER RIP didn’t have a tumultuous breakup and she’s independently wealthy and we in our mid-thirties when we were together and it’s possible she went the spermbank route shortly after we broke up. At any rate, do you think I should ask her if the child is mine? I can see how that would be rude, but on the other hand, I kind of want to know. What do you think? —The Kid Is Not My Son (Probably) I don’t think the child is yours, TKINMSP, but then I don’t think the child is hers either. I mean, your ex is definitely this kid’s mother and you may have a biological tie this kid—you might be his biological father—but ultimately this kid belongs to himself, TKINMSP, and he might like or need to know who his biological father is someday. Backing up for a second: If you were fucking your ex without protection in late July of 2013 and she gave birth in early May of 2014, TKINMSP, there’s a small chance you could be this kid’s biological father. Sperm can linger in the vaginal canal for a few days before a woman ovulates; some babies arrive a week or two late. I’m not saying it’s likely, TKINMSP, I’m just saying it can’t be ruled out and only your ex knows for sure. So send her a letter. Open by
reassuring her that you have no desire to reenter her life or enter the life of her child but that you’ve always wondered. Then tell her that if you are the biological father and they ever need a family medical history from you or if this child should want to meet his biological father someday—and if that biological father is you—you’re open to providing medical info and/or meeting up once her son is an adult. If you’re the biological father, TKINMSP, which you might not be. I live in Portland, Oregon, and I’m having the inner fight about whether to reach out to a person. I met a guy in early 2019 for what was supposed to be a one-night stand but it turned into an entire-year stand. We hung out and hooked up but he told me that he would never date me. In February of 2020 there was a snowstorm and he asked me for a ride. I said yes not realizing that I was picking him up from a girl’s apartment and driving both of them back to his place. He’d been staying with her for a week and told her that he’d knew me from work. We’d never worked together. That night he told me they weren’t dating and that she was just helping him study and that he didn’t want to see or hear from me ever again. He blocked
Someone actually did warn you about this guy in 2019, HUNG: the guy himself, this guy, he warned you. He warned you about himself in 2019 and again in 2020 and yet again in 2021. Lying to you about being exclusive and potentially exposed you to various STIs in early 2019 was a warning. Manipulating you into chauffeuring him and his new girlfriend back to his apartment during snowstorm in 2020 was a warning. Suddenly asking you to hook up in 2021 was a warning and his defensive reaction when you asked if he was seeing someone else (“none of your business”) was a bonus warning. And despite all the warnings this guy gave over all three years, HUNG, you hooked up with this guy again anyway. Considering who this guy is and the way he treats people, HUNG, I can only imagine his new girlfriend has received—received and ignored—just as many warnings from him and about him as you did. So I don’t think you should waste your time getting in touch with the woman he’s seeing now, HUNG, as the odds she’ll take your warning seriously after ignoring all the warnings he’s most likely given her himself seem slim. Block his numbers, unfollow him on social and, for fuck’s sake, don’t hook up with this asshole again. email@example.com Follow Dan at Twitter @ FakeDanSavage. savagelovecast.com
APRIL 15, 2021
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ACROSS 1 Kerfuffle 5 Intentionally hurt
Org. with lots of inspectors 14 Contents of un río 15 Shelter 16 Noise from a fan 17 1940 Arthur Koestler novel set during the Moscow Trials 20 Signs of something moving? 21 Discontinue 22 Olympic women’s gymnastics powerhouse 24 Big public radio letters after “W” 25 Word with fine or found 26 Soup served with chopsticks 29 Short stubble 33 Any ghost, to Pac-Man 34 Randomizer 35 “Jacked” 36 South Asian living abroad 37 What might come with a flat fee 39 Barrel-___ 40 Symbol for a timeout 42 “Now I ___ me …” 10
44 Abbr. in many an urban
address 47 Scramble 51 Title with a tilde 54 Work very late 57 Author Wiesel 58 Safari runner, at times 59 Homeland of James Joyce 60 Observe daylight saving time, in a way … as in 17-, 29- and 54-Across? 65 Buzz in a rocket 66 Repair shop offering 67 Changes, as a 6-Down 68 Jack ___, co-founder and longtime C.E.O. of Twitter
36 40 46
1 Something lacking
2 The Bulldogs of the
N.C.A.A. 3 Added assessments 4 Drink served hot or cold 5 Crow native to the Midwest 6 Smartphone alternative to a fingerprint scan 7 Hosp. administrations 8 Biscuit relatives 9 Types in
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Accepts accountability for 11 Longhaired herder 12 In yoga, one point of a triangle formed in triangle pose 13 In yoga, one side of a triangle formed in triangle pose 18 Woman’s name that’s also a city in France 19 “%$#*” and “@#&!” 22 Like most books offered on AbeBooks. com 23 Function yielding 0 when applied to π 27 Weakness in an argument 28 Overdue 30 Disregard 31 Org. in Showtime’s “Homeland” 32 Not around 37 Actress Remini 10
38 Conditional keyword
for a programmer Trauma professional, for short 43 “Got it!” 44 Fin 45 Dense, spinning celestial body 46 It gets you close to home 48 Stoops 49 Hit the ___ 50 Still in stock 51 Evening affair 52 Put on the line 53 Noise from a fan 55 Bookworms, maybe 56 Wherewithal 61 Red state 62 Quibble 63 Young one in the Hundred Acre Wood 64 “I have seen ___. I have seen ___ on land and sea. … I hate ___.”: F.D.R. 41
APRIL 15, 2021