So, after nine months of indecision, I finally decided to cut the very thing that gave me a false sense of true beauty. I finally let go of everything I thought beauty to be and decided to embrace my inner beauty. is beautiful and who is not. As a result, generations of women,
raised a family, it was not only the beauty in her determination,
African American women, have grown up believing they are not
but the beauty of her accomplishments that showed me I, too,
beautiful because the standards by which beauty is assessed in
can do and be anything I choose.
our society are not attainable. Beauty was, and still is, seen through celebrities, so our
Still thinking of my mother, I began to think about all of my “aunties”—my mother’s band of “sisters”— and the community
great-grandmothers compared themselves to Greta Garbo and
of support they have been for one another. I thought about their
Marlene Dietrich. Our grandmothers compared themselves to
gab-fests and their prayer circles, but mostly, I thought about
Ingrid Bergman and Rita Hayworth, and our mothers compared
their confidence, both individually and collectively. During the
themselves to Marilyn Monroe and Elizabeth Taylor. Granted,
late ‘70s and early ‘80s, my mom and her cohorts all donned
during the ‘40s, ‘50s, and ‘60s, African American women were
short, cropped hair at a time when it was not seen as particularly
also among those who were deemed beautiful. Women like
flattering on a woman. The beauty in their confidence, in their
Dorothy Dandridge, Lena Horne, Josephine Baker and Diane
defiance of what society considered beautiful, showed me
Carrol were not simply known for their beauty, but for their
“I Am Not My Hair” decades before it was something I could
talent as well. Still, despite their talent and intellect, their beauty
understand or accept.
was highlighted due to their European features. While this does
After seeing all of the beauty I had been surrounded by
not overshadow their talent or diminish their accomplishments
throughout my life, I did not have to think another minute about
and the contributions they have made to the African American
my hair. So, after nine months of indecision, I finally decided to
community or African American history, this goes to show how
cut the very thing that gave me a false sense of true beauty. I
our notions of beauty are deeply ingrained in us and in our
finally let go of everything I thought beauty to be and decided to
society. Even into the ‘70s and ‘80s, women like Farrah Fawcett,
embrace my inner beauty.
and Bo Derek, along with Brooke Shields, Madonna . . . get the
“Beauty is in the Eye of the Beholder” is an old adage we have
picture? It wasn’t until Pam Grier appeared as Foxy Brown and
heard many times, but seldom take the time to truly understand
Teresa Graves appeared as Christi Love that African American
its message. While society may set the standard for what beauty
women and African American little girls, like me, began to see
is, we as individuals do not have to accept what society presents
in the media true representations of themselves that validated
to us. If we are unable to see the beauty within us, look at the
what they saw in the mirror everyday.
beauty that surrounds us. We should look to our mothers,
Despite all of this, for nine months, I struggled with the idea
fathers, grandparents and siblings. We should look to our aunts,
of cutting my hair until one day I had to take a long hard look
our uncles, our best friends and our children. Look at the things
at what beauty meant to me and decide who was going to set
that endear them to us; look at what makes them an integral part
that standard for me. That’s when I began to think about my
of our lives and our hearts, and focus on how they enrich our
community and all of the women who helped me become
lives, and make our lives more beautiful.
who I am. I thought of my grandmothers and the many hardships each
Does this mean we should not focus on the outside at all? Absolutely not! So, go on and get your hair done, get your mani
had to overcome in her life. I thought of the strength it took to
and your pedi. Put on that little black dress with your cha-cha
raise a family in a segregated city and not be deterred by the
heels and paint your face nice and pretty, but while you are
limits society set in place. It was this beauty in their strength that
doing all of that, know your true beauty comes from within.
helped me realize what others thought of me was not nearly as
Because when you become the beholder of your own beauty,
important as what I thought of myself.
everyone else will see it too.
I thought of my mother and the determination she displayed while pursuing her education. As she worked, went to school and
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Appears on India Arie’s 2006 CD Testimony: Vol.1 Life & Relationship
MARCH 2013 • TRUMPET NEWSMAGAZINE | 31