Fame and Ecstacy

Fame and Ecstasy

by Mary Pauline Santos

"And cut! That's a wrap for today," the director said as the clapper signaled the end of the shoot.

It's half past three in the morning in Fairview Avenue but the set is still awake while everyone is fixing up things to be able to go home as soon as possible. Julia, the star actress of the night waits for her assistant, Tina, to tidy up what's needed so they can head out too. "By the way, Julia. You did well. I hope we can work again soon," the director approached the actress while offering his hand for a handshake. "You flatter me too much, Direk. It's my pleasure to work with you," Julia accepted the director"s hand and flashed him the sweetest smile she has. "Ma'am, the car's ready," her assistant says to her. Julia just nods and follows her out of the set.

On the way out, she thanks and bids goodbye to the people on set. "She's indeed an angel. That actress is one of the rare gems of the industry," Julia smiles as she indirectly hears the whispered compliment about her.

However, as soon as she stepped inside her car, her smile disappeared in a blink. "Alcohol, Tina. Alcohol," she irritatingly tells her assistant while reaching out her hand impatiently. "Here ma'am," her assistant quickly pours the rubbing alcohol on her hands. "That director even had the guts to shake hands. Does he hope we can work again soon? In his stupid dreams," Julia rants continuously as she rubs her hand dripping of rubbing alcohol. "What's my next schedule?" "You have to be on set for a morning show at six-thirty in the morning, ma'am. I will be at your doorstep around six," her assistant answered.

It was already 4 a.m. when Julia arrived at her place. "So much for hoping to go home and to have a good sleep," Julia mutters under her breath.

After pampering herself, she immediately searched for something in her stash.

A vial of liquid and syringe.

With those in her hand, she goes to her bedroom and sits at the bedside. She placed the vial and syringe under the night lamp.

She scrolls through her social media, like she usually does, to seek her never-ending desire for the public’s approval and admiration.

She sees a post about her role in the remake movie of Noli Me Tangere as Maria Clara. The people were admiring how she’s "like an angel", being so delicate and demure in portraying the role, in which she sarcastically laughed as a response. "What's so good with Maria Clara? So weak and gullible."

She continues to read the comments when she encountered a statement that ruined her mood.

What we see on TV isn't always real, I bet she's such a witch. A fake.

Julia can only clench her phone in anger. Her eyes glaring with spite. She tosses the phone away from her. A thud resonated when it crashed against the pillows on the bed.

Thoughts and curses run through her mind. She doesn't live a life like this just to receive such comments from nobody. She buried her head in the pillows and screamed her frustration beating furiously in her chest.

Grogginess and a throbbing headache accompanied her in the set the morning after. Her head was threatening to bust anytime so she requested a moment of privacy inside her tent.

She looked behind with a raised eyebrow when she saw her assistant still behind her. "What are you waiting for? Out. I'm feeling sick enough. Your face is not making me any better," she harshly says. "Do you have to be mean like that?" Tina answered back. "Stop with your yapping. As if I'm not the one feeding your family. Out, I said."

As she screams away at her assistant, she rummages her bag in the hope of finding something to ease her headache.

A vial and a syringe.

She looks at it for a second or two before grabbing it out of her bag. She looked around to make sure that nobody was there. Her head continues to throb with pain. Without a second thought, she pierced the needle through the cork of the vial. Slowly, the liquid rises into the syringe tube.

She was about to inject the needle in her arm when a flash of a phone camera stopped her from what she’s about to do. Her head turned immediately to the source of light. Panic surged through her body. The blood drained from her face when she discovered it was her assistant. "Delete that!" she hysterically shouted, causing the people in the set to be curious and gather around. The angel they knew seems to be not herself. "Sure. I already posted it anyway," her assistant answered without any hint of guilt.

Her world stopped for a moment because of the horror she just heard. The thought of her career crashing down triggered her to forget the people around her. "How dare you?!," she screamed at her with such hate but somebody had stopped her before she could reach her assistant.

The incident spread faster than a wildfire. All were in shock and disbelief at what happened. The image Julia lifelong protected crumbled down to pieces in a matter of moments. Before she can even go out from the set, the paparazzi have already blocked her from avoiding their questions.

The next thing she knew, she was rocking herself in her bed. Hysteria and anxiety crippling away her sanity. She looks at her phone with eyes that ran out of tears to shed. She starts hearing ominous whispers echoing in the corridors. Her eyes were playing tricks on her, she sees the paparazzi and the public crowding and criticizing her and feels genuinely threatened by them. There's a loud banging on her door from those who are trying to get some words from her. She covers her ears and mumbles to herself to escape the paranoia. She continues to rock herself to ease what she's feeling.

"No! I don"t know. Stop! I don't know anything!" Julia screams, confronting her hallucinations.

The banging on the door grew louder.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Her eyes suddenly struck open. Her surroundings became dead silent and everything seemed normal. She was processing the things when-

Bang. Bang.

There was still someone knocking at her door. "Ma'am? Are you already prepared for the morning show? It's Tina," a voice at the door said.

Julia looked around and her eyes darted in her bedside table. An empty vial and a used syringe. Then, the realization hits her.

"Stupid ecstasy."