Other ways to help you overcome your fears:
• E xamine and manage the pressures in your life so that your nervous system does not constantly kick in. Try to avoid overloading yourself with responsibilities at home and work.
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What’s a Man to Fear? My five top fears are fear of aging and retirement, fear of failure, fear of snakes, fear of technology, and fear of not being loved and appreciated. What are your top five fears? By Bob Mueller
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s I research the fascinating subject of fear, I’m realizing that it’s quite all right to be afraid and to worry. Without fear, we would not be motivated to excel at work or in relationships, and we would not watch out for cars as we cross the street. Without fear, we would not feel the satisfaction or the adrenaline buzz of overcoming a challenge. And as nations, we would not rally to meet global problems. As we have evolved from cave people into more complex thinkers, fear has taken some strange twists and turns. Sadly, it has taken on forms that are often counterproductive. We have developed more fears than we ever had — fear of failure, fear of loss of control, fear of change, and particularly, fear of what others think about us. We view far too many things and situations as threats. Sometimes we are not fully aware of what our fears are or what is causing our anxiety. We just know something is wrong. That’s why I have worked at studying my fears and have begun to deal with them. I have learned that my fear of aging (called gerascophobia) can be countered by the fact that age brings experience and wisdom, and that I can feel more comfortable speaking the truth. I have discovered that my fear of
failure (called atychiphobia) is handled by realizing that most of the time, I will succeed, and I can learn from my mistakes. My fear of snakes (called ophidiophobia) stems from the Bible and the fact that the devil appeared as a serpent. My mantra to overcome my fear of technology (cyberphobia) is that machines and computers will help me succeed. My fear of not being loved and appreciated (called anuptaphobia) is calmed by loving myself first. We all cope with fear in different ways. We can often deal with fear by simply relaxing, breathing deeply, and putting things in perspective. That prevents our emergency fear system from kicking in beyond levels we can control, and it keeps our adrenaline output within reasonable bounds. Sometimes I use fear to motivate myself. Michael Jordan admitted at the peak of his career that he was afraid of looking inferior, so he sometimes got himself worked up and focused his hormonal energy to launch himself into the “zone.” As we continue to understand ourselves, there is hope — even excitement — that the new facets of fear we are discovering will help us deal with this powerful emotion more effectively.
• Identify and eliminate exaggerated thinking. You may be an obsessive thinker and make mountains out of molehills. • Raise your anxiety threshold so that you don’t become anxious over unimportant things. • Learn to express your feelings without constantly bottling them up. • W hen you feel anxious, breathe deeply from your abdomen, or use mantras such as “Relax” or “Stop it, now!” • Learn to relax through meditation and spirituality. Think about things beyond yourself. Volunteer. • Build a good network of family, friends, and coworkers. • Get a pet and talk to it. Pet owners have fewer visits to the doctor. • Change things once in a while. Routine and boredom can make you anxious. • Sometimes prescription medications can help. See your doctor.
Bob Mueller is Senior Director of Mission & Stewardship at Hosparus, the community hospices of Louisville, Southern Indiana, and Central Kentucky. He has three books available: Look Forward Hopefully, The Gentle Art of Caring, and his latest, Create a Better World. Find Bob online at bobmueller.org and email him at bobmueller@insightbb.com.
28
August
2013
Today’s Woman