October 31-November 6 2011 Issue 1470 tntmagazine.com
FORGET THE FIREWORKS Top alternative ways to spend Bonfire Night
NICE ICE BABY How to stay cool in Romania’s frozen hotel
UNLIMITED KICKBOXING CLASSES
D O O L B E TRU
d witches n a s e ir p m a n’s real-life v o d n o L to o ll rrors: say he o h n e e w o ll Ha
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EDITOR’S LETTER In case you missed it, today is Halloween – the time of year that we don fancy dress and embark on spooky activities. However, for some, this is a year-round pursuit. Check out P22 for the details. This weekend is Bonfire Night – which doesn’t have to mean standing in a muddy field. See P8 for the best alternatives to have fun and keep warm. Or, if chilling out is your thing, see how our writer got on during a stay in an ice hotel P64. Enjoy!
THIS WEEK LONDONDIARY
DRINK & EATS
LISTINGS CLUB & GIGS
Cover: Thinkstock. Photos: Getty, TNT
CHATROOM RICHARD HERRING 27 LONDON SCENE
NEWS & SPORT
FEATURES YOU MUST BE CRACKERS The best in explosive London entertainment on Bonfire Night
ENTER THE OCTAGON
AND THEY’RE OFF …
Australia’s Melbourne Cup: it’s time for the race that stops a nation
48 HOURS IN... COPENHAGEN
Become acquainted with some real-life witches and vampires
TIPS & STUFF
TNT writer Tom Sturrock trains with the big boys in a day of cagefighting
LIGHTS AND SHADE
City breaks and country escapes are in abundance in Hong Kong
We bring you our special 16-page guide to the world’s best far-flung travel spots
EDITORIAL Editor Carol Driver Sub editor Jahn Vannisselroy Content editors: Acting Travel Laura Chubb Entertainment Alison Grinter News & sport Tom Sturrock Web Frankie Mullin Staff writer Clare Vooght Staff writer/editorial assistant Rebecca Kent
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Gin and bear it at The Forge
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Shhh... SECRET LONDON GIN-MAKING WORKSHOP THE FORGE
If you fancy yourself as a bit of a connoisseur when it comes to booze, particularly gin, then it’s worth heading along to this masterclass, where you’ll be instructed in the art of making gin, before receiving tips about the different flavours suffusing your now cultured tastebuds. If you’re already a gin-drinker, then this event will make you an expert. Alternatively, if you’re looking for a new tipple, then this is your shot. £25
November 5 3-7 Delancey St, NW1 7NL
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DIRECT DIALOGUE FESTIVAL
REGENT STREET MOTOR SHOW
SPIRIT OF CHRISTMAS FAIR
It’s a ‘celebration of spoken word’, with a bit of live music thrown in for good measure. The festival is spread over three venues dotted around W2. You can get along to the Debate Night or the Technobabble Night. If that all sounds a bit high-brow, maybe you can check out the Banter Night, where people just talk nonsense.
A veritable conga line of classic cars will be lining Regent Street to be ogled by adoring petrolheads. The vintage motors that completed the London to Brighton run will be on display, along with some Jaguar E-types and about 50 different Mini Coopers. Leave your credit cards at home, lest you be tempted by a rash purchase.
Well, there’s only seven weeks until Christmas so, naturally, you need to start obsessing about what kind of crap you’re going to buy this year. And there’s no better place to start than this fiveday festival devoted to Yuletide shopping. Whether you’re into presents, food and drink or decorations, the festive season is here.
November 2-5 Various venues in and around Notting Hill firstdirect.com/ dialogue Notting Hill Gate
November 5 Regent Street, W1B 5AH regentstreetmotorshow.com Oxford Circus
Nov 2-6 Olympia, Hammersmith Rd, W14 8UX spiritofchristmasfair. co.uk Kensington (Olympia)
High camp: Alan Carr
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ALAN CARR: SPEXY BEAST VARIOUS LOCATIONS
November 5-6 The O2, Peninsula Square, SE10 0DX
Nov 5 Wembley Stadium, Empire Way, HA9 0WS gillette4nations.co.uk Wembley Stadium
Come & meet us for a drink & a chat. If you like what you see – BINGO! Immediate start. Full training provided. Live-in positions available too! To book a place at one of our information sessions, call:
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November 5 Old Queen’s Head, 44 Essex Rd, N1 8LN lostinvintage.com Angel
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Wales face New Zealand at 1pm before England take on Australia in an age-old grudge match later in the afternoon. The antipodean sides should emerge with the wins, presumably continuing their march toward the tournament’s final, but you can never rule out the possibility of an upset. Not entirely, anyway. £10
It’s seriously retro – that generally means there’s a fine line between achingly hip and disastrous. There are clothes and knick-knacks from the Fifties onwards as well as a selection of classic cocktails to get your wheels spinning. Even if you don’t find your next hot outfit, you might get something for a fancy dress party.
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He’s bringing his buck-toothed, high-camp antics to the stage in what promises to be an uncomfortable evening of grubby double-entendres and innuendo. If that’s not enough to get you through the door, you simply have no funny-bone. Carr has made his name through his talk show, Chatty Man, so it will be interesting to see whether his banter, likely to be bluer than on TV, translates to the stage. £30
LONDONNEWS OLYMPICS LEGACY REACHES NEW HEIGHT
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Protesters outside the cathedral
The final steel loop has been put into place on the twisting red tower being built next to the Olympic Stadium – taking it to its full 114.4-metre height. It completes the steel work on the £22.7million ArcelorMittal Orbit, designed by Turner Prize-winning artist Anish Kapoor and structural designer Cecil Balmond. Visitors will be able to look down to the showpiece stadium from the latest landmark to London’s skyline. The twisting tangle of steel, which looks as if it is going to fall over, is not only the tallest sculpture in the UK but also 22 metres taller than the Statue of Liberty.
We’re in a world of truncated sentences, soundbites and Twitter Actor Ralph Fiennes laments the loss of the English language in a soundbite at the BFI London Film Festival awards
KEN WANTS TENANTS’ NIGHTMARE TALES Ken Livingstone is calling on Londoners to share their housing horror stories. Labour’s London mayoral candidate is urging those living in private rented accommodation to get in touch on Facebook or Twitter. Livingstone said: “Too many people are being hit by high and rapidly rising rents, unfair fees, or accommodation which simply isn’t up to scratch.”
ON THE TUBE
St Paul’s reopens to visitors But cleric quits over fears of ‘Dale Farm’ riots on cathedral steps St Paul’s Cathedral reopened on Friday after it closed to the public for the first time since the Second World War. The doors of the landmark were shut for six days after anti-capitalist protesters set up camp in its churchyard. The Occupy London demonstration has refused to move on despite repeated calls by the London mayor, the City of London Corporation, the bishop of London and the cathedral. On Friday, the corporation announced it would be taking legal action to remove the tents from public highways. It comes the day after the chancellor of St Paul’s Cathedral resigned from his post over the protest. Canon Dr Giles Fraser quit via Twitter after reports suggested there was a rift between clergy over what action to take concerning the activists. He said he
couldn’t face the prospect of a “Dale Farm on the steps of St Paul’s”. He added: “The church cannot answer peaceful protest with violence.” A spokesman for the Occupy camp said the activists were “deeply moved” by Fraser’s actions. It came as the cathedral planned to open its doors in time for the Eucharist at 12.30pm on Friday. A spokesman for St Paul’s said the protesters camped outside would be among those prayed for at the lunchtime service – which will be a “simple celebration of the reopening”. The dome and galleries will remain closed “for the time being” but the cathedral itself will be open to worshippers and visitors, the spokesman added. » Our view on the protest P43
THIS WEEK IN LONDON...
THIS WEEK’S CLOSURES
CIRCLE: No service all weekend DISTRICT: No service between Embankment and Aldgate East and between High Street Kensington and Edgware Road. H’SMITH & CITY: Between Baker Street and Royal Oak on Saturday and no service between Royal Oak and Barking on Sunday. METROPOLITAN: No service between Baker Street and Aldgate on Saturday. Town and Heathrow (all terminals) – replacement buses will operate.
VICTORIA: No service between Acton
WikiLeaks founder Julian Assange will learn if he has won or lost his High Court bid to block extradition to Sweden where he faces sex crime allegations. Lawyers for the 40-year-old Australian say his removal would be “unfair and unlawful”. Two judges sitting in the High Court heard the case in July and are due to give their ruling on Wednesday. The Swedish authorities want him to answer accusations of raping one woman and sexually molesting and coercing another in Stockholm in August last year. Assange, whose WikiLeaks website published a mass of leaked diplomatic cables which rocked the US government, denies the allegations and says they are politically motivated.
S Y A D SUN TOM NOVY (November 6th)
DAVID JONES (November 13th)
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KAISERDISCO (November 20th)
ALSO LAUNCHING ON TUESDAY NOVEMBER 8TH: OPEN MIC NIGHT then every Tuesday (free entry) For a set call 07709 426 720 or email email@example.com
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Food rave: leave your white gloves at home
Having a blast Why spend Bonfire Night crooking your neck watching fireworks? A back-garden food rave can be just as explosive WORDS REBECCA KENT By the time fireworks night comes around, you’ve probably already had your fill of firecrackers going off at ungodly hours. And, as much as it seems like a good idea to head to a display and ‘ooh’ and ‘ahh’ at the explosion of colours, in reality it often means standing in a muddy field for hours on end, freezing your bits off. All this in commemoration of a 1605 treason attempt that was never realised. Who can be bothered? So instead of going through the motions, we bring you a temptation of salacious alternative offerings for Bonfire Night – and there’s not a soggy hotdog or burnt burger in sight. Supperclub supremo Ms Marmite will be hosting an underground rave and food market on November 4. It’s being held in an unlikely location – her two-bedroom flat and garden in Kilburn. If that doesn’t sound glamorous enough, add cocktails served on an ironing board and an array of stalls dishing up everything from mindaltering jerk chicken and cherry wine to mouthwatering puddings and smoked bacon, cheese and lemons, and it’s a different beast. “It will be the most 8
unusual market you will ever have been to,” promises Ms Marmite, otherwise known as Kerstin Rodgers, 41, who spearheaded the supperclub movement in 2009 and has been opening the doors of her flat for dinner nights, markets and raves ever since. “You’ll get all the atmosphere and goods of a food fair or music festival, just combined in one really lovely domestic space. It’s going to be so buzzy, no different to a party.” Described endearingly (at least we think so) by one of her fans as a “spoiled brat on acid”, Rodgers knows a thing or two about throwing a party. For entertainment, huddle around the bonfire while listening to eight-piece band She’koyohk Klezmer, who will be performing Eastern European Jewish, Balkan and Gypsy music. Then watch the foodie demonstrations on how to make anything from romesco sauce to Vietnamese wraps. If you haven’t had your fill, the following day, Ms Marmite will be hosting a farmers’ and craft market. Another event for foodies, but this time a little more formal, is The Disappearing Dining Club, which on
November 5 is hosting its monthly dinner and dance. It will take place in an underground arts space in Shoreditch (which is kept secret until you book a ticket), and guests will enjoy cocktails, a five-course dinner and then dance until the small hours to music from DJs Chris Coco and Pete Gooding and Dirty Omar. Owner Stuart Langley says: “We host dinner parties in spaces that are found, reclaimed, lost or unusual. “We go into spaces that have nothing. At 8am, we build a kitchen, a bar, a restaurant and a music venue party space and lounge area. We put it all in, then people come and have a fantastic evening, then we pack everything away again the next day. “The venues we use only exist for the 12 hours we’re there for.” So if you miss it, you really will miss out. 16 ALTERNATIVE BONFIRE NIGHTS ›› Or see tntmagazine.com for a full list of firework displays in London Ms Marmite’s Underground Food Rave. Fri, Nov 4. 6pm-10.30pm. £5. marmitelover.blogspot.com The Disappearing Dining Club. Sat, Nov 5. 7pm til late. £50 incl meal disappearingdiningclub.co.uk
Make sure your night goes with a bang
Here today: The Disappearing Dining Club
Explosive food: Bonfire Tea Night (P11)
PEACEFUL PROTEST WESTMINSTER Guy Fawkes tried to vent his frustrations with lawmakers with a sackful of gunpowder. You can do it in a much more civilised manner by joining a peaceful protest orchestrated by the group, Anonymous. Thousands of campaigners are expected to turn out at the Houses of Parliament to exercise their democratic right to free speech. Why not join them?
WHITE RABBIT GUY FAWKES SPECIAL TEMPLE
Sat, Nov 6. 6pm Palace of Westminster, SW1A 0AA whatis-theplan.org Westminster
A stone’s throw away from where Guy Fawkes was captured 400 years ago, DJs Kino Levi and Marvin Dez, promise some ‘audio fireworks’ with tunes infused with live bongos and jazz. £12+
Sat, Nov 5 Bar & Co, WC2R 2PN facebook.com/ whiterabbitparties Temple
BURLESQUE AFTERNOON TEASE CITY OF LONDON It’ll be the stage, rather than the sky, sizzling on Bonfire Night at Volupté, where guests can enjoy a burlesque show featuring saucy performers Dinah Might and Ginger Blush, plus a spot of magic and comedy. This is only after tucking into a finger-licking ‘afternoon tease’ of coffee apple cake pops, brownies with fiery chili and, of course, lots of popping candy. £42
Nov 5-6. 2.30pm, 7pm, 10pm Volupté, 9 Norwich Street, EC4A 1EJ volupte-lounge.com Chancery Lane
5/11 FLEET STREET QUIZ NIGHT SPECTACULAR NOTTING HILL How well do you know the history of Guy Fawkes? Do you know how fireworks are made? Well, round up five mates and get down to this west London boozer’s ‘Earth, Wind and Firework Quiz Spectacular Extravaganza’ to find out. As you race to answer brain-bending questions, sip scrumptious cocktails and tuck into the venue’s heaving food platters – it can only help. Even better, come wearing fancy dress and you’re in with a chance to win some booze. Hurrah! FREE
Sun, Nov 6. 8.30pm-11.30pm Portobello Star, 71 Portobello Rd, W11 2DY portobellostarbar.co.uk Ladbroke Grove
Performed as part of the ‘PROTEST!’ series from The Tower Theatre company, this incendiary gunpowder plot thriller by Edward Kemp investigates the link between religious piety and acts of extreme violence.
ICE HOTEL /64 SCARY JOBS /34
THE ROOF GARDENS KENSINGTON
Head to this display if only to see what the fuss was about after Southwark Council oddly tried to re-brand the event as a celebration of the changing of the seasons.
This is a much more stylish way to enjoy fireworks. Sip cocktails, nibble on barbecued food, smoke a shisha and dance the night away underneath a cabana, among a rooftop garden six floors above the high street. Here, you will have a spectacular view of London’s skyline for the fireworks – so you can enjoy them without getting your feet muddy. The club has also planned its own display of dazzling pyrotechnics in the Spanish-themed garden, courtesy of tycoon Sir Richard Branson, who owns this rather cool venue.
Fri, Nov 4. 6pm College Road, SE21 7BQ Southwark.gov.uk West Dulwich
Sat, Nov 5 99 High Street, W8 5SA roofgardens.virgin.com High Street Kensington
Nov 1-5 Bridewell Theatre, Bride Lane, EC4Y 8EQ stbridefoundation. org Temple
FIREWORKS DULWICH PARK FREE
GOING FOR A SONG NEW CROSS If you’re going to head to a fireworks event, it means wrapping up warm. Make sure you at least looking trendy by heading to this market first. Held monthly from noon6pm, this jumble sale is a hunting ground for wonderful vintage clothes and curious nik-naks, including T-shirts, shoes and old movie posters. At the same time as bagging a couple of bargains, listen to the sounds of talented musicians on an open mic. Finish off with a pub lunch and a pint, and you’ll be all set to brace a night of ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’. FREE
Sat, Nov 5 The Amersham Arms, 388 New Cross Road, SE14 6TY theamershamarms.com Deptford Bridge
ANGIE LE MAR: IN MY SHOES SOHO
THAMES BONFIRE NIGHT CRUISE WESTMINSTER
After a hit run in London, comedienne Angie Le Mar is to take her side-splitting one-woman show on a world tour. This is your last chance to catch her before she goes. Le Mar charts the perils and fortunes of six people whose lives are intricately woven: a spiritual guru; an OCD teenager; a lonely city executive; an unemployed wannabe model; a jaded actress clinging on to the past; and one of her previous stage characters from Women On The Edge, Falushilah Falashilay.
If it’s a vantage point you’re looking for to see the fireworks in their full magnificent glory, you can’t beat being on the Thames – not peoplecrushed on the banks. This Bonfire Night cruise leaves from Westminster Pier at 6.30pm and sails down the river to Battersea Park in time for the park’s fireworks. The excitement of it all is bound to make you hungry, so there’s a barbecue on board, too.
Until Sat, Nov 5 Soho Theatre, 21 Dean Street, W1D 3NE sohotheatre.com Tottenham Court Road
THE CANDLELIGHT CLUB CENTRAL LONDON Delve into a secret world completely lit by candles, and dripping with all the charm of the 1920s in this speakeasy, which is hosting two Bonfire Night special events. Expect fireworks, fire-eaters, ‘hot’ jazz from the band the Brass Volcanoes and bespoke cocktails – some smokeyflavoured and some fiery hot. Plus, there’ll be burgers and hot dogs for when the munchies hit. Glam up. £15
Sat, Nov 5. 6.30pm Westminster Pier thamesdinnercruise.co.uk Westminster
Nov 4-5 Central London thecandlelightclub.com
DISCO BLOODBATH BONFIRE NIGHT DALSTON Expert producer/DJ Toby Tobias has promised to set the pink basement alight on this club night. Forget fireworks, the only things popping will be your ears the morning after.
For a full list of firework displays in London, see tntmagazine.com
THE ROSENDALE WEST DULWICH Ensconce yourself in the front beer garden of this south east London pub and do dinner al fresco-style. The heaters will be fired up so you can stick around when the temperature dips to watch fireworks. The kitchen will be dishing up burgers and hot dogs, plus mulled wine, hot chocolate and hot cider to warm your cockles.
Have a night of nonstop giggles courtesy of ‘German comedy ambassador’ Henning Wehn, Chris Norton Walker, Paul Sweeney and Matt Dowling.
£10 The 13-piece soul and funk collective Get Funked promise to be so loud you can forget the fireworks outside. Made up of session musicians and vocalists, the ensemble aims to liven the crowd with a string of classic funk anthems. Members of the band have performed with artists such as James Brown, Damon Albarn, Mary J Blige, Robbie Williams, Basement Jaxx and Amy Winehouse, and they play at big events all over the world. Proceeds from the show go to charity War Child.
Sat, Nov 5. 8.30-11pm The Comedy Pub, 7 Oxendon Street, SW1Y 4EE piccadillycomedy.co.uk Piccadilly Circus
Fri, Nov 4 Under The Bridge, Stamford Bridge Fulham Road, SW6 1HS underthebridge.co.uk Fulham Broadway
Sat, Nov 5 Passion, 251 Amhurst Road, N16 7UN discobloodbath@groups. Rectory Road facebook.com
Photos: Dave Hogan, Getty
Sat, Nov 5 65 Rosendale Road, SE21 8EZ therosendale.co.uk West Dulwich
GET FUNKED FULHAM
BIG BANG BONFIRE NIGHT COMEDY PICCADILLY £8
BONFIRE NIGHT TEA EMBANKMENT Just a few yards away from the site of the great gunpowder plot of 1605, this plush hotel is laying on an a spread of experimental treats, including a hot chocolate Shot, TNT-exploding white chocolate and chili ganache truffles, and gunpowder tea-infused macaroons. Of course, this epic feast includes a sparkler or two for effect, plus a pudding of chestnut cake and minitoffee apple lollies. Ask to see the tunnel to Whitehall. £32
Nov 1-6 The Royal Horseguards Hotel, 2 Whitehall Court, SW1A 2EJ guoman.com Embankment
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JEAN-DAVID MALAT OPERA GALLERY FOUNDER What baffles me about London is that it’s the most exciting city in the world. I come from Paris, which is quite an exciting place, but London is by far the place to see and be seen in Europe. The whole world meets in London for culture, for leisure and, of course, for business. London’s best-kept secret is its street artists. Everybody knows about Banksy, but there is much more incredible artists out there. Hang out around Brick Lane and Shoreditch – go talk to them and they’ll give the best street art tour you could wish for. When I want to chill out in winter, I go to Electric Member Club, Notting Hill, for brunches with friends and family. In summer, I spend most free time by the swimming pool on the roof terrace at Shoreditch House in east London.
BE THERE WHEN THE BEST OF JAMAICAN NIGHTLIFE LANDS IN LONDON
The most interesting person I’ve met was when I opened Opera Gallery in 2005. I met an old art dealer who told me a funny anecdote: at the beginning of the century, poor artists used to pay their tailors with artworks. Many of these tailors later opened galleries in which they sold the artworks, becoming successful art dealers! It proves life is all about seizing the opportunity. My favourite place for a drink is The Connaught Hotel: the cocktail bar is great, and the drinks are lovely. What can’t you beat in London when you’re hungover? I’ve got an eight-month-old son ... I can’t do hangovers anymore! What gets me up in the morning? Joshua. Every morning at 6.30am. My perfect weekend starts with going to The Third Space for a workout then heading for brunch with friends and family, followed by an exhibition at the Tate Modern or the Saatchi Gallery. The last naughty thing Ah. I might get into trouble for saying it, but while my wife was visiting her family in Brazil in July, my friends took me to The Box club until 6am! Five words that sum up London ... Cosmopolitan. Open-minded. Glamour. Dynamic. Talented.
The Smirnoff Co. is giving you and a friend the chance to BE THERE on November 12th for the return of The Smirnoff Nightlife Exchange Project sell-out XXXXXXX /00 event in London. /00 XXXXXXXXXXX This year Great Britain is swapping nightlife culture with Jamaica and for one night only, Alexandra Palace will be transformed into an authentic Jamaican party setting and extraordinary, once-in-a-lifetime experience. Taking to the main stage at this unforgettable event will be Basement Jaxx DJ set, Ms. Dynamite, The Jolly Boys and Assassin. Additional line-up includes Radio 1 DJ Rob da Bank, Toddla T, Reggae Roast and more. Enter at tntmagazine.com/competitions facebook.com/SmirnoffGB
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EVENING, DAYTIME AND SATURDAY COURSES. CHRISTMAS, EASTER AND SUMMER SCHOOL COURSES. ANIMATION ARCHITECTURE BUSINESS SKILLS CERAMICS COMPUTING CREATIVE PROCESS DANCE DRAWING FASHION
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BEAUFORT BAR BAR THE SCENE The Savoy Hotel’s bar simply oozes old-fashioned glamour; its interior is sleek – mixing jet-black chairs and furnishings with splashings of gold. If you look the part (no jeans), the waiter will allow you to sit at a table, or you’ll be left to perch at the bar chatting to the surprisingly humorous mixologists. There’s also a pianist who, instead of tinkling out the classics, is playing a range of Eighties music and modern sounds, such as Coldplay. Rather than being pretentious, it works, creating an image that wouldn’t look out of place in a Bond film. THE GRUB Snack on the complimentary nuts and olives. Or, if you want to splash out, come here for afternoon tea, which is priced at £55pp. BEHIND THE BAR Bubbles. And lots of them, including rare vintages. There’s a Methuselah (six litres) of Cristal on sale for £16,400. We pass on that and order cocktails. The Impressionist (cherry marnier, raspberry and rose cordial, violette liqueur and champagne) is bizarrely served with dry-ice. It is, however, the nicest cocktail I’ve ever tasted – so I order one, or maybe two, more. BILL PLEASE As much as you like! Cocktails from £9.50. Glass of wine from £9.50. VERDICT OK, so you’re not going to make this place your local, but whether you’re a Londoner or passing through, sinking cocktails in the Savoy is almost a rite of passage – like sipping a Singapore Sling in Raffles. CAROL DRIVER
Fancy: Beaufort Bar Strand, WC2R 0EU
3 OF THE BEST MARGARITAS
Skip the pitcher and order one drink at a time to avoid too much ice. Choose from interesting flavors like lychee. The service is good, so get some chips and guacamole and stay a while.
No margarita mix at this joint. With dozens of tequilas to choose from, they know their Mexican licquor and aren’t afraid to add it liberally to their various chilled drinks.
Keep an eye out for their Wednesday two-for-one margarita deal. A bit pricey, otherwise these margaritas are faultlessly pure and don’t skimp on proportions. Try the special La Bandera.
Need to send money between UK and home? r Cheapee than th banks*
*Source: 1st Contact survey of UK high street bank charges, April 2008.
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Boyd’s: great for a budget date
CHRISTMAS NOODLES It’s not quite a replacement for a roast and all the trimmings, but you can now buy Christmas Dinner-flavoured Pot Noodle. From the scientists behind the doner kebab and lamb hotpotthemed instant noodles, this latest experiment is flavoured with turkey sauce and contains vegetables – mercifully, they’ve left out the Brussels sprouts. The snack was trialled by 27 Squadron RAF Regiment after they cited the brand as a home comfort. It’s now available from supermarkets for £1.10. potnoodle.com
DRINK TO ALL HALLOWS Make a toast to Halloween with Babicka vodka’s signature black squid ink cocktail, combining the wormwood-infused vodka with vermouth, lemon juice and triple sec. The vodka is named after 16th-century Czech witches, famed for their healing brews, so the cocktail must be good for you. It’ll be served at bars across London, including Ground Floor Bar, Notting Hill, and Aqua, West End. See the website for more venues. babickavodka.com
Photos: Richard Butler
DINE BACK IN TIME For a unique dining experience, try the WWII-inspired pop-up restaurant, Rations on November 4, 5 and 6. Diners are fed a six-course meal, including gourmet spam, brown bread ice cream and peppermint creams, all served in mess tins in a venue decked out in authentic WWII paraphernalia. The location will be revealed once you purchase your £45 ticket.
BOYD’S BRASSERIE BRITISH THE SCENE The opulence of Boyd’s, a distinguished-looking spot near Trafalgar Square, had apparently scared off customers in the past. Its 100-year-old marble and shimmering chandeliers seemed to intimidate some Londoners, who must’ve thought themselves too scruffy to dine here. Now newly reopened, Boyd’s has pulled off a clever trick in softening the grandeur with warm tones, modern art and ‘Ghost Chairs’ (clear-plastic chairs to you and me). Add to that a revamped, midrange menu of “simple and relaxed British food”, and the new tactics pay off. THE GRUB The ‘British tapas’ catches the eye first. It’s recommended you select at least two small plates each for starters, from a range that includes potted pork with croutons and Welsh rarebit. Mains are at first look a little less exciting, comprising pub grub staples such as steak and chips and roast chicken. However, appearances are deceiving. The ribeye is the best steak I have ever had in Britain – melt-in-the-mouth and packed with fatty flavour. The whole seabass also sings, its dense flesh enlivened with lemon, rosemary and sea salt. In fact, it’s the funkysounding tapas that disappoints. Breaded skate cheeks are just trussed-up fish fingers, and the crab macaroni gratin is a glorified tuna pasta bake. That’s not to say that they’re bad, just unmemorable. But a scoop of ice cream that genuinely tastes like apple pie for dessert more than makes up for it.
A wide selection of wines starts at a rather reasonable (for central London) £17 a bottle. There are some great-looking dessert wines in there, too. BILL PLEASE Startlingly reasonable, considering location and quality. Tapas starts at £7.90 for two, and mains range between £12.50 and £23.50. You can get a pie and a pint, intended for two people, for £37.20 – bear in mind that it’s a Highland venison shepherd’s pie, and a pint of Claret. VERDICT Perfect for impressing a date on a budget. Remember to hide the bill; the decor and air of sophistication will convince them you splashed out. LAURA CHUBB BEHIND THE BAR
theartofdining.co.uk 8 Northumberland Avenue, London, WC2N 5BY
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LETTER OF THE WEEK
Keep dreaming: Ryanar is what it is
So the new Iphone has trouble understanding the Scottish accent? Maybe they should bring out the Ayephone.
Arab Andy Africa called. I answered it, Now it’s time for me to become the lion king,
Opie Nobody is to inadvertently give me any tips on how to turn invisible. Do I make myself clear??
Les Behan My granddad is a Cold war veteran. He can’t afford to put the heating on.
Daniella Tevez plans to sue his Mancini. If his lawyer has a sense of humour, he’ll refuse to come off the bench and defend.
Millicent My dad had schizophrenia, we didn’t mind though. He was good peoples.
Hori Bop I’d hate to live in South Korea. It’s a man-eat-dog world out there
Eldon Reuters: “FTSE 100 bosses’ pay leaps, dwarves share gains”. I don’t understand why dwarves are sharing the gains.
The funny thing is all those people who complain about Ryanair and vow never to fly with them again are the same people you see waiting for a Ryanair flight two weeks later. Ryanair has a flawless safety record and is the most efficient airline in the world. Still, people expect to fly from Dublin to Rome for 15 euros and be given free booze, food, newspapers and a complimentary hooker. Get real. And no, I don’t work for Ryanair. Lennard Ramone, via Facebook
A WEE DRAMA
Curse the carelessness of the NHS – specifically St George’s Hospital in Tooting. I’ve now had to do a 24-hour urine sample test twice, and both times they have managed to lose the five litres! Stop pissing about with my samples! Pissed off, via email
I’ve just been told the house I have been renting is actually owned by the council and I have to leave. The lying landlord then arrives at the house with her child, pushes her way in and tells us we have been subletting and to get out by the morning. Police called but never show. My housemates have to take turns having a day off to guard the house in case the locks are changed to change the locks. The police phone and say the fraud against the landlord is the least of her worries. Grrr. I think I win. Heather Goodhew, via email
Monday: officially my worst day in London. I drove for the first time to take the kids for a play date, unloaded them and paid for parking so we didn’t get a ticket on the work car. I happily entertained the kids inside when one started screaming. I headed upstairs and looked out the window to see the car with a big sticker on the windscreen … the council had clamped me!!! Try explaining that one to the parents. £130 deducted from pay and one bad mood to follow. Lisa Ibell, via email
INSPIRED TALE I thought your article on motorbiking across the Bolivian salt flats (TNT 1469) was amazing. It sparked my imagination. Tammy Stillwell, via email CAGE FIGHT /32 HONG KONG /70
Lennard wins a three-day tour of Ireland with Shamrocker shamrockeradventures.com
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TNT RUGBY WORLD CUP 2011 PARTY Elk Bar Fulham. Sunday, October 23 Photos by: Nicola Bellinfantie/ TNT Images
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ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR So what are we to make of the news Amy Winehouse drank herself to death? When her body was discovered in her Camden home in July, we quickly jumped to the conclusion that illicit drugs must be responsible. Even when an early toxicology report ruled out harder substances, we still didn’t fully believe it. She was a rock star with a rock star’s lifestyle, after all. But the truth, revealed in an inquest last week, was far more banal – and shocking. Winehouse spent her final days drinking her way through three bottles of vodka resulting in a blood alcohol reading five times the drink-drive limit. Ultimately she was the victim of everyone’s favourite, legal drug. And she isn’t the first muso to be killed by alcohol: AC/DC wild man Bon Scott and Led Zeppelin’s drummer John Bonham both died after equally lethal “misadventures” with drink. Such a terrible waste of life and talent is enough to make you sober up for good.
Playing an album more or less from start to finish, with a few oldies interspersed here and there isn’t an artist’s usual approach to performing live. But Bon Iver – aka Justin Vernon – clearly put the tracks of his self-titled, second full-length in exactly the order he wanted them to be heard. Vernon trundles onstage and stands on a wooden platform covered by a rug and launches matter-of-factly into album opener Perth – with his backing band of eight sporting two drum kits, second (sometimes third) guitars, saxophones, bass saxophones, strings, percussion. They reproduce his signature album sound, but 10 times thicker, filling the Apollo with layers of velvet notes and harmonies and boosting every intricacy tenfold. A lanky figure, Vernon’s geekiness pleads the same vulnerability as his falsetto. But when he proceeds to swap his guitar more than Lady Gaga changes her outfit, he shows there’s a little bit of diva in him. Momentum and presence grows as an unexpected cover of Bjork’s Who Is It begins, with faultless beatboxing from trombonist and percussionist Reggie Pace, and Vernon’s personal stamp on the words. The main man’s vocals withstand the swing from deeply low to sweepingly high with Hinnom, TX into Wash, and then all of a sudden, we are back in 2007, feasting on the delicate, heartfelt Re: Stacks. After a raw, stripped-back Skinny Love, Vernon whips out his favourite way to close a gig, encouraging everyone to sing with him (“It’s not like a sing-along, it’s like we’re singing this shit together”) before ending on a screaming frenzy. The Wolves builds up and up and up, until there’s nothing left to give. Bon Iver played the Hammersmith Apollo on October 23. Review by Claire Vooght.
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JESSIE J GIG NOV 1-2. 7PM £30
She may have been compared to Lady Gaga early in her career but the Essex gal’s ‘tude laden music has more in common with Rihanna’s R&B/soul-flecked electro, leading her to clean up at this year’s Mobo Awards with four gongs – Music Of Black Origin indeed! She’ll be strutting her stuff on the Apollo stage this week. Hammersmith Apollo Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH venues.meanfiddler.com Hammersmith
CHICAGO HOUSE LEGENDS PART 2
15 YEARS OF TUMMY TOUCH RECORDS
SAT, NOV 5. 10PM-3AM £16
FRI, NOV 4. 10PM-3AM £8
UK DJ Terry Farley, founder of Boy’s Own, the voice-on-the-streets fanzine for the early house scene in London during the early Nineties, is behind this club night dedicated to Chicago house. Club pundits will tell you it formed the bedrock of all house music and iconic Chicago-house music producer Lil Louis will be in town to prove it.
This cult dance label and club night founded by Tim “Love” Lee helped launch the likes of Groove Armada, Tom Vek and The Phenomenal Handclap Band. So to return the favour, the latter two acts at least will be on hand to help TT celebrate its 15th year. Expect the usual discorock, electro-soul and Latin mash-ups.
XOYO 32-37 Cowper St, EC2A 4AP xoyo.co.uk Old St
XOYO 32-37 Cowper St, EC2A 4AP xoyo.co.uk Old St
TINIE TEMPAH, J COLE
BLOW UP 18TH BIRTHDAY
THUR, NOV 3. 6.30PM £23.50
FRI, NOV 4. 8PM-3AM £8
FRI, NOV 4. 7PM £29.50
Despite reports of “humbling” gigs played to ten people in the States, Tinie Tempah is one of the few British rap artists to make headway there, and global domination looks increasingly like his for the taking. Speaking of US/UK hip-hop crosspollination, support comes from North Carolinan MC and Jay-Z protege, J Cole.
Founded in the early 1990s, Blow Up quickly established itself as the cradle of the emerging Britpop scene, boasting members of Blur and Pulp as regulars. In 2011, the club continues its unique play list of British indie old and new and will be celebrating with a set from the Blow Up DJs plus live bands, including ME (above).
The goth-inspired nu-metal marauders from Arkansas return to the UK for the first time since 2007 to unveil their self-titled third album which was produced by Nick Raskulinecz (Foo Fighters, Marilyn Manson). Taylor Momsen’s grungetinged rock outfit The Pretty Reckless will be playing second fiddle on the night.
The 02 Peninsular Sq, SE10 0DX theo2.co.uk North Greenwich
Ginglik 1 Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8PH ticketweb.com Shepherd’s Bush
Hammersmith Apollo Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH venues.meanfiddler.com Hammersmith
ALI RENAULT THE BUZZ SO FAR Formerly one half of the acclaimed duo Heartbreak, this multi-talented DJ/producer has struck out on his own crafting a nocturnally minded debut LP which runs the electro gamut, from Italo, cosmic, hi NRG, disco and house – fusing them together to create something entirely fresh. The slasher-flick-disco gem Fade Away boasts guest vocals from 1980s Italian disco icon Fred Ventura, and that mesh of old and new, darkness and light best sums up where Renault’s head is right now. THE CRITICS SAY “Ali Renault has the original electro and Italo sound nailed. Zombie Raffle has all the urgency and efficiency of Scotch 83’s anthem Penguin’s Invasion.” Mixmag THE PLUG Ali Renault out Nov 7 through Cyber Dance.
CLUBLISTINGS MONDAY 31 Glamrox Resident DJs spin house, breaks, disco, dubstep, hip-hop and R‘n’B. Sound, Leicester Sq, WC2H 7NA (0333 240 1010). 9pm-3am. £5.
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Vibe DJs on rotation including Anas, Spider, Prezedent, Ice, Pioneer and DJ L spin hip-hop, R‘n’B, bashment and reggae. Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/ cc 020 7287 3727). 10pm-3am. £7, £5 before midnight, ladies £5, free before 11.30pm, mems free.
Hard Core Salsa DJ Mario plays mambo and salsa, plus dance lessons. Salsa!, Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277). 6pm-2am, last adm 1am. £4, free before 9pm.
Yoyo Seb Chew and Leo Greenslade spin hip-hop, dubstep, garage and grime. Notting Hill Arts Club, Notting Hill Gate, W11 3JQ (020 7460 4459). 7.30pm-2am. £7, £5 before 11pm.
Haunt Moonies Chamber Of Horrors Halloween Party DJ Victor spins disco, funky house, R‘n’B and party hits. Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/ cc 020 7287 3727). 10pm-3.30am. £5, w/flyer £3, NUS £1.50. Mojo Mondays Resident DJs spin indie and electro, plus live bands. Boisdale’s Of Canary Wharf, Cabot Hall, E14 4QT (020 7715 5818). 9pm-late. £10. Opal Nera Halloween Party: Live Meat Kris Di Angelis and James Pople spin house, tech-house and electro, with live performances from Azari III, Saint Saviour and Trish, plus go go dancers Fer and Claudio. Fabric, Charterhouse St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898). 7pm-3am. £15. Popcorn: The Halloween Party 2011 Aldo Haydar, Jonesey, Jamie Hammond, Harvey Adam and Terry T-Rex spin dance, electro, R‘n’B, pop and hip-hop, plus David H on percussion. Heaven, Charing Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). 11pm-5.30am. £8, £4 before midnight. Rehab DJs Val, Satoko, Zoe Demonettes, Joe, Saral and Hale supply indie, electro and pop. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, NUS/w/flyer £3, £1 before 10.30pm.
TUESDAY 1 Dirty Fuxx DJ Will Manning spins house, techno, electro, R‘n’B and drum ‘n’ bass. The Hoxton Pony, Curtain Rd, EC2A 3AH (020 7613 2844). 9pm-1am. £5, NUS £3. Flomotion Live DJs Nick Luscombe and Mais Um Gringo play Brazilian beats, soul, hip-hop and funk, plus Lucas Santanna & The Sem Nostalgia Duo perform live. Favela Chic, Great Eastern St, EC2A 3HZ (020 7613 4228). 8pm-1am. £5. Forca Brasil DJ Fred spins salsa, samba and Latin tunes, plus live bands. Salsa!, Charing Cross Rd, WC2H 0JG (020 7379 3277). 6pm-2am, last adm 1pm. £4, free before 9pm. OMFG! DJs Lady Lloyd, Joshyou Are and Niyi Maximus Crown play pop, disco and electro, with host Queen B Munroe Bergdorf. The Shadow Lounge, Brewer St, W1F 0RF (020 7287 7988). 10pm-3am. £5, free before 11pm. Panic! Max, Gaz and That Perfect Fumble play indie, electro and post-punk. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 10pm-3am. £5, w/flyer/NUS £3. Stupid Tuesday Funky and soulful house, disco and pop. Thirst, Greek St, W1D 3DR (020 7437 1977). 5pm-3am. £3, free before 10pm.
FRIDAY 4 DEFECTED IN THE HOUSE Ministry of Sound. Saturday, November 26. £15 Defected will be bringing the Amsterdam house connection to London via Dutch masters 2000 and One (above), Chocolate Puma and Franky Rizardo. SE1 6DP
Elephant & Castle
Cheapskates Old school hip-hop, electro and disco courtesy of DJ Downfall. Moonlighting, Greek St, W1D 4DR (020 7437 5782/ cc 020 7287 3727). 9pm-3.30am. £6.50, NUS £5.50, w/flyer £4.50.
The After Work Jam TC Fords, Invasion Crew, Jag 1 Sound and Patrick J supply R‘n’B, dancehall, soca and funk. Euphoriom, High St, W3 6NG (020 8993 2915). 8pm-late. £5, free before 11pm.
Dance Nights Princess Karina and DJ Gary Baldi spin dance hits. EC3 Live, Crosswall, EC3N 2JY (020 7488 1766). 11.30pm-3am. £10.
Balada House DJ Jose Luis plays house, funk and Latin beats, plus a live percussionist. Guanabara, Parker St, WC2B 5PW (020 7242 8600). 7pm2.30am. £5, free before 9pm.
Diamonds In The Night Carlos Baffo spins pop and dance. Joiners Arms, Hackney Rd, E2 7QL (020 7739 9397). 5pm-11pm. £2.50. Fat Poppa Daddys Resident DJs spin hip-hop, funk, electro, house, dubstep 1980s hits, indie and reggae. One, Leicester Sq, WC2H 7NA (020 7437 0453). 10pm-3am. £5. Filthy Habits Student Night DJs play chart hits from the 1980s, 1990s and now. The Roxy, Rathbone Place, W1T 1HJ (020 7255 1098). 8.30pm-3am. £5, NUS £3. Madd Raff Wednesdays The Heatwave supply bashment and dancehall, plus a dance session with dancehall instructor Safwaan Shoshoni of Pineapple Studios. The Social, Little Portland St, W1W 7JD (020 7636 4992). 6pm-1am. £5. Majestic Vibe DJ El Moreno spins funky house, R‘n’B and old skool classics. Diu, Greek St, W1D 4DJ (020 7025 7844). 9pm-3am. £5. N*A*S*I*N SoniX, Brahim and Punk Gareth play punk, rock, metal and ska. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). 11pm-3am. £5, w/flyer £4, NUS £3, mems £2. Roda De Samba Ulisses Bezerra and Groupo So Kem Eh spin Latin and samba beats. Guanabara, Parker St, WC2B 5PW (020 7242 8600). 5pm-late. £5. Trannyshack Miss Dusty O, Tasty Tim and Lady Lloyd spin commercial dance and pop. Madame Jojo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040). 10pm-3am. £6, w/flyer £3, free before midnight.
C’est La Vie DJ Colin Francis plays house and commercial dance classics. Embassy, Old Burlington St, W1S 3AP (020 7851 0956). 10pm-3am. £20, ladies free before 11.30pm. Clubbing London Resident DJ F-Sound spins dance anthems, house, mash-ups, commercial electro and R‘n’B. One, Leicester Sq, WC2H 7NA (020 7437 0453). 10pm-3am. £11, £5 before 11pm, ladies free before 11.30pm. Deepo Ivaylo, Olanski, Patrick Turner, Asad Rizvi and Fresh Tee supply house and deep bass. The LightBox, South Lambeth Place, SW8 1SP (020 7434 1113). 10pm-6am. £15, concs £10. Hope Ball Radio One DJ Edith Bowman spins chart, dance and R‘n’B. Cafe De Paris, Coventry St, W1D 6BL (020 7734 7700). 6.30pm-2am. £20. Lounge DJ Philly spins pop, chart and party hits. The Penthouse, Leicester Sq, WC2H 7NA (07760 488119). 9pm-3am. £10, £5 before 11pm, NUS £5, guestlist £8. The Mink Revue Resident DJs play blues, R‘n’B and soul, plus live burlesque and cabaret performances. RS Lounge, Woodford New Rd, E17 3PR (020 8509 6450). 8.30pm-late. £8. Roller Disco Funk and disco for a wheeled audience. Renaissance Rooms, opposite Arch 8, Arches, Miles St, SW8 1RZ (0844 736 5375). 8pm-midnight. £10, £7.50 skate hire. Temptation Pop, R‘n’B, dance and cheese with resident DJs. Zoo Bar, Bear St, WC2H 7AQ (020 7839 4188). 10pm-3am. £15, £8 before 10pm, free before 8pm, guestlist £10.
Bedrock DJs Little Chris and George spin indie, retro and pop. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). 11pm-4am. £7, w/flyer £5 before midnight. Calentito Pop, R‘n’B, and soul. Salvador And Amanda, Great Newport St, WC2H 7JA (020 7240 1551). 9pm3am. £10, free before 9pm, guestlist £5. Dance Rocks House, R‘n’B, chart, indie and 1980s and 1990s hits. The Watershed, The Broadway, SW19 1SD (020 8540 0080). 11pm-3am. £8, £5 before midnight. The Gallery Gareth Emery, Judge Jules, Aly & Fila, Simon Patterson, Ant Brooks, Alex Miles, Gavyn Mytchel, Lee & Slater, Cole Jonson, Subbass and DJ Ideal spin house, techno, trance and electro. The Ministry Of Sound, Gaunt St, SE1 6DP (0870 060 0010). 10.30pm-6am. £13. The Idiots Are Winning 1st Birthday Party Chez Damier, Chris Duckenfield, Louis Finch and Jake Manders supply house and techno. Life, Old St, EC1V 9AA (020 7250 3737). 10pm-5am. £10, adv £7. Infectious Grooves Electro and house from Danny Oatz, MattMan and James O’Callaghan. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-late. Free.
SATURDAY 5 Afri-Kokoa DJ Baggy and DJ AJ Kwame spin Afrobeat, plus art, music, poetry, dance and film. Rich Mix, Bethnal Green Rd, E1 6LA (020 7613 7498). 8pm-late. £10, adv £7. Chicago House Legends Pt.2 Lil Louis, Terry Farley and Legendary Children supply Chicago house. XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). 10pm-3am. £16. Deep Disco Presents Club Warehouse’s 20th Birthday Eddie Thonieck, Miss Divine, The Soul Avengerz, Andy Graham and Hayden Chapman spin deep house and tech-house. Club Warehouse, Harbet Rd, N18 3HT (020 8807 0078). 11pm-7am. £15, adv £12. Fabric House and techno courtesy of Claude VonStroke, Justin Martin and Eats Everything in room one, Terry Francis, Karotte and Swayzak in room two and Craig Richards and Kyle Hall in room three. Fabric, Charterhouse St, EC1M 6HJ (020 7336 8898). 11pm-8am. £19, adv £18, NUS £10, £9 after 4am. adv £23 inc CD. Key Of Life Martijn Ten Velden, Ahmet Sendil, Mario Cee, So Called Scumbags, Jimmy Reckless and Alex Miles play house, techno and electro. Egg, York Way, N7 9AX (020 7871 7111). 10pm-6am. £20, concs £15, adv £13. Liberte: Back With A Bang Electro, house, dubstep and R‘n’B supplied by DJ Philly, Nikki Lucas and MC Brandy. Brixton Clubhouse, Brixton Rd, SW9 8HH (020 7326 4455). 11pm-5am. £10, £8 before midnight, mems £5. Pukka Up Ibiza Reunion Sam Walker, Tim Fanucci and Dermot C play electro and dance. Proud 2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (020 7482 3867). 7pm-5am. £20 & £35. Sq Music Shaun Stylz spins techno, electro and house. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 7pm-1am. Free.
Pollinate DJs Silky Boys and DJ Murlo play funk, hip-hop, house and jungle. Plus a live set from Pseudo Nippon and Joao Brasil. Notting Hill Arts Club, Notting Hill Gate, W11 3JQ (020 7460 4459). 7pm-2am. £8, £6 before 11pm, free before 8pm.
Too Damn Glam DJs Diason, Damo, Bernie T, Colin Chiddle and DJ Sammy spin house, electro, techno and trance. Pacha, Terminus Place, SW1V 1JR (0845 371 4489). 11pm-late. £20, adv £15.
ReviveHER & Silver Magic Tim Sweeney, James Priestley, Auntie Flo, Bi-Bop and Nicholas Feel spin house, disco and electro, plus John Heckle plays live. Dalston Superstore, Kingsland High St, E8 2PB (020 7254 2273). 9pm-5am. £10, £8 before midnight, adv £6 & £8.
Forro DJs spin Brazilian, African and indigenous rhythms.Guanabara, Parker St, WC2B 5PW (020 7242 8600). 5pm-late. £5, free before 8pm.
Tales Of The Unexpected DJs spin indie, electro, new wave, hip-hop and funk, with live music, plus alternative cabaret from Vivid Angel, Marnie Scarlet and Domino Bulesk. Proud Camden, The Horse Hospital, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8AH (020 7482 3867). 7.30pm-2.30am. £10. Tinie Tempah After Party: Do Not Disturb Chase & Status (DJ set), Redlight, DJ Charlesy and Semtex supply dubstep and grime, plus live performances from Labrinth, Ms Dynamite, GFRSH and Dot JR. Proud 2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (020 7482 3867). 10.30pm-6.30am. £15.
Groove Sanctuary African-Latin, funk and disco from DJ Jimbo, Joey Vieira and guests. Madame Jojo’s, Brewer St, W1F 0SE (020 7734 3040). 9.30pm-3am. £5, £3 before 11pm. In The Box DJs Enzo Gomes, Manjit, Clubholic, Kid K and Beppe Gallo play dance and electro. Club 414, Coldharbour Ln, SW9 8LF (020 7924 9322). 7pm-1am. £10, £5 before 9pm, ladies free before 9pm. Rindonkuloose Tom Novy, Mickey O, Garth Hill, Smashbox and Waity spin house, techno and electro. Gigalum, Cavendish Parade, Clapham Common South Side, SW4 9DW (020 8772 0303). 4pm-11pm. Free.
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MONDAY 31 A1 Pop by the reunited boy band. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £25.
The Travelling Band Indie-folk and Americana from the Manchesterbased outfit. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/cc 0871 231 0842). £10.
PJ Harvey Contemplative rock from the unmistakable alternative singer-songwriter. Royal Albert Hall, Kensington Gore, SW7 2AP (0845 401 5045). £30-£52.
Hot Club Of Boisdale Parisian swing inspired by Stephane Grappelli and Django Reinhardt. Boisdale Of Belgravia, Eccleston St, SW1W 9LX (020 7730 6922). £12, £4.50 before 10pm. Ana Moura The Portuguese singer performs fado. Barbican Centre, Silk St, EC2Y 8DS (020 7638 8891). £15-£22. Britney Spears: Femme Fatale Tour The unpredictable pop princess performs songs from her seventh studio album, Femme Fatale, alongside other chart-topping hits, such as ...Baby One More Time, Oops... I Did It Again, Toxic and Womaniser. Wembley Arena, Arena Sq, Engineers Way, HA9 0DH (0870 060 0870). £55. The Specials The seminal ska collective plays its 2-tone hits. O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000). £35. Tim Exile Experimental electronica by Berlin-based Tim Shaw. Kings Place, York Way, N1 9AG (020 7520 1490). £12.50, saver seat £9.50.
GEORGE CLINTON AND P-FUNK Jazz Cafe, November 28-30. £37.50 The grandaddy of funk will be in town this autumn to play tracks from his most recent offering, George Clinton And His Gangsters Of Love. 5 Parkway, NW1 7PG
WEDNESDAY 2 Amadou & Mariam: Eclipse The musicians perform a fusion of blues, pop and Malian music in a story of their life together, staged entirely in the dark. Featuring narration from Hamadoun Tandina. York Hall, Old Ford Rd, E2 9PJ (020 8980 2243). £25.
Tori Amos The American singer-songwriter and pianist plays classically-influenced alt pop and rock in support of her album Night Of Hunters. Royal Albert Hall, Kensington Gore, SW7 2AP (0845 401 5045). £30.
Jon Allen Classic pop-rock with a twist of blues by the London-based singer-songwriter. The Borderline, Orange Yard, Manette St, W1D 4JB (0870 060 3777/ cc 0871 231 0842). £12.50.
Crystal Stilts, Comet Gain, Shrag, Evans The Death Indie-rock by the Brooklynbased band. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/ cc 0844 477 1000). £11.50.
The Hoax Blues-rock band from Wiltshire. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £15.
Jesus Jones The Wiltshire quintet performs its blend of classic alt rock. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £15.
Jessie J Chart-topping pop, soul and R‘n’B from the London-based singer. HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0843 221 0100). £25. Toby Keith Chart-topping country from the Oklahomaborn singer-songwriter. Wembley Arena, Arena Sq, Engineers Way, HA9 0DH (0870 060 0870). £35. The Maccabees Brightonbased indie-pop five-piece. Village Underground, Holywell Ln, EC2A 3PQ (020 7422 7505). £16.50. One Night Only The Helmsleybased group plays indierock. XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). £12.50.
Terrorvision Alt pop from the veteran outfit. Relentless Garage, Highbury Corner, N5 1RD (0870 060 3777/ cc 0844 847 1678). £17.50.
The King Blues, Cerebral Ballzy Punk-folk with traces of rap from the London-based outfit. Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 482 8008). £15. Jeffrey Lewis & The Junkyard Indie-folk by the singersongwriter from New York and colleagues. Heaven, Charing Cross Arches, Villiers St, WC2N 6NG (020 7930 2020). £11.50. Natty Soulful, pop-influenced reggae and acoustica from the London-based singersongwriter. XOYO, Cowper St, EC2A 4AP (020 7729 5959). £11.
Carrie Rodriguez Americana and pop by the Austin-based singer-songwriter. The Old Queen’s Head, Essex Rd, N1 8LN (020 7354 9993). £12, adv £10.
Throwing Muses College-rock and indie by the Newport, Rhode Island-based veterans, Kristin Hersh and colleagues. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £20.
Timber Timbre Blues and folk from the Canadian three-piece. Union Chapel, Compton Terrace, N1 2UN (020 7226 1686). £12.50.
White Label Rock band from London. Half Moon, Putney, Lower Richmond Rd, SW15 1EU (020 8780 9383). £15.
Young Galaxy, Air Castles The Montreal-based outfit plays indie-rock and dream pop. The Lexington, Pentonville Rd, N1 9JB (020 7837 5371). £7.
THURSDAY 3 Allo Darling, Darren Hayman, Tender Trap, The Ladybug Transistor The Londonbased outfit plays poppunk. The Scala, Pentonville Rd, N1 9NL (020 7833 2022/ cc 0844 477 1000). £11.50. Big Boy Bloater Chicago blues and classic R‘n’B by the Aldershot-based singer. Boisdale’s Of Canary Wharf, Cabot Hall, E14 4QT (020 7715 5818). £10-£30. Blue Oct Alt rock by the Texasbased band. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £15. Boyce Avenue Melodic rock from the Florida-based combo. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £21.50. Camille Avant garde singer from Paris. Hackney Empire, Mare St, E8 1EJ (020 8985 2424). £24.50-£27.50.
Evanescence The Grammy Award-winning American outfit, known for hits including My Immortal and Bring Me To Life, plays dark dramatic rock with classical influences. HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0843 221 0100). £29.50. Lajko Felix Traditional Hungarian folk mixed with blues and rock by the violinist. 229 The Venue, Great Portland St, W1W 5PW (020 7323 7229). £25. Flogging Molly Dublin-born singer and guitarist Dave King leads the Los Angeles-formed folk-punk and Celtic rock sevenpiece. HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7344 0044). £16.50. Hurts The Manchester-based two-piece plays electro-pop. O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000). £17.50. Iced Earth, White Wizzard Heavy metal from the American quintet, with Into Eternity vocalist Stu Block stepping into his role as frontman. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £20. Incubus, fiN Brandon Boyd leads his Los Angeles-based band in playing epic alternative rock in support of its album If Not Now, When? Alexandra Palace, Alexandra Palace Way, N22 7AY (020 8365 2121). £28.50. James With The Orchestra Of The Swan And The Manchester Consort Choir Indie-rock and Britpop from Tim Booth’s Mancunian outfit, with classical accompaniment conducted by Joe Duddell. Royal Albert Hall, Kensington Gore, SW7 2AP (0845 401 5045). £47.50-£65.
Foreign Beggars Hip-hop, dubstep and grime from the London-based crew. Koko, Camden High St, NW1 7JE (0870 432 5527). £17.50.
LIFEM: London International Festival Of Exploratory Music: Chinese Man, LeYan & Skoob Dance and hip-hop by the French outfit. Rich Mix, Bethnal Green Rd, E1 6LA (020 7613 7498). £15, adv £12.
Engelbert Humperdinck The veteran crooner performs his hits including Please Release Me, There Goes My Everything and The Last Waltz. Royal Albert Hall, Kensington Gore, SW7 2AP (0845 401 5045). £28.50-£45.
Walter Lure The New York-based singer-guitarist and former Heartbreakers member plays alt punk. The Purple Turtle, Crowndale Rd, NW1 1TN (020 7383 4976). £15.
Peter King Quartet Bebop from the sax-led combo. 606 Club, Lots Rd, SW10 0QD (020 7352 5953). £12. The Melvins Alt rock and grunge by the influential Washington-based band. Electric Ballroom, Camden High St, NW1 8QP (020 7485 9006). £15. Professor Green, Rizzle Kicks Hip-hop and rap artist from Hackney. Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 482 8008). £17.50.
The Magic Of Motown A celebration of the music of Motown stars, including the songs of The Jackson Five, The Temptations, Diana Ross, Marvin Gaye and The Supremes. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £25-£30. Patrick Wolf Experimental pop from the theatrical singer-songwriter and multi-instrumentalist. Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 482 8008). £17.50.
The Airborne Toxic Event, The Chevin The American collective plays melodic rock. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £15. The Case, Infa-Riot, The Riffs The veteran outfit plays ska-punk. 100 Club, Oxford St, W1D 1LL (020 7636 0933). £15. Digitalism The Hamburg-based duo plays electronic house and dance-punk. HMV Forum, Highgate Rd, NW5 1JY (020 7344 0044). £17.50. Doom, Ghostface Killah Hip-hop from the New York-born rapper. Roundhouse, Chalk Farm Rd, NW1 8EH (0844 482 8008). £25.50-£29.50. Roy Harper The veteran singer-songwriter and guitarist plays folk-rock with guests in celebration of his 70th birthday. Southbank Centre, Belvedere Rd, SE1 8XX (020 7960 4200/cc 0844 875 0073). £20-£30, concs £10-£15. Louden Swain, Jason Manns Indierock by the Los Angeles-based band. The Good Ship, Kilburn High Rd, NW6 7JR (07949 008253). £20. Manowar Classic metal by the New York-based band. O2 Academy Brixton, Stockwell Rd, SW9 9SL (0844 477 2000). £42.25. Eric Ranzoni Blues Band Piano-led blues outfit. Boisdale Of Belgravia, Eccleston St, SW1W 9LX (020 7730 6922). £12, £450 before 10pm. Toyah, Mechanical Cabaret Pop-rock by the well-known singer and actress. O2 Academy Islington, Parkfield St, N1 0PS (020 7288 4400/ cc 0844 477 2000). £20.
SUNDAY 6 2Face Idibia Hip-hop and rap by Nigerian singer-songwriter, Innocent Ugah Idibia. IndigO2, Peninsula Sq, SE10 0DX (0871 220 0260). £20-£60. Jeff Chang Chinese pop by the Taiwanese singer. HMV Apollo, Queen Caroline St, W6 9QH (0843 221 0100). £18-£168. Thomas Dolby Synth pop and new wave singer-songwriter, composer and musician. O2 Shepherd’s Bush Empire, Shepherd’s Bush Green, W12 8TT (020 8354 3300/ cc 0844 477 2000). £25. LIFEM: London International Festival Of Exploratory Music: Amsterdam Klezmer Band, London Klezmer Quartet Contemporary Klezmer by the Dutch band. Rich Mix, Bethnal Green Rd, E1 6LA (020 7613 7498). £15, adv £12. OneTaste Festival 2011 A celebration of music, spoken word, theatre and film, featuring Alice Russell, Gideon Conn, Jono McCleery, John Adeleye, Laura J Martin, Moulettes, Holly Walker, Nick Mulvey, John Berkavitch among others. The Bedford, Bedford Hill, SW12 9HD (020 8682 8940). £25, adv £17.
Witch way: Inbaal casts a spell
Vampire-obsessed: Thunder and Charlotte
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Real-life spooks Think witches and vampires are just for Halloween? Prepare to meet the people who embrace occultism full-time WORDS FRANKIE MULLIN The paranormal has a pervasive pull, even if only in the form of a surreptitious glance at your horoscope or the memory of a teenage Ouija board session. The gusto with which Halloween is embraced is testament to our fascination with the dark side. For some, however, the occult holds more than just a passing interest; it is the driving force by which they live. Wiccan – a form of Pagan Witchcraft – is attracting a growing number of followers, with an estimated 50,000 members in the UK. Similarly, vampire-obsessed gatherings thrive in London, with unconventional beliefs and practices that owe little to Twilight’s saccharine storylines. On November 12, 5000 witches will descend on the unlikely environs of Croydon for the International Witchfest 2011. Inbaal, 37, a psychic by profession, attended her first of these events in 2002, drawn by an interest in Tarot cards. It was there she discovered Wiccan group The Children Of Artemis (witchcraft.org), the UK’s largest witchcraft organisation. Through the group, Inbaal began to study magic, eventually becoming part of a coven. Mental images conjured by the word ‘coven’ are not far from the reality, according to Inbaal. Just don’t expect everyone to be naked. “In Australia there’s more nakedness in witchcraft as the weather’s warmer,” she says. “In cold countries people tend to keep their clothes on. Also, as you’re hanging around with ritual daggers and candles, you don’t want to take too many chances. The official Wicca line is that everyone should be naked and therefore equal, but we wear long black robes instead.” A coven is a group of about six people who have studied witchcraft and choose to practice together. Inbaal’s coven includes an artist, a PR, a TV producer, a singer and a nanny. There is a high priest or priestess who runs things, but the heirarchy is fluid as there is no central witches’ body to decree status. Magic, however, is not confined to meetings of the coven and Inbaal says she weaves spells into daily live as common practice. “I often go out into my garden and do a little spell,” she says. The possibility that magic actually works is an appealing thought. Money, sex, happiness, fame guaranteed? Not quite. Wiccans stress that magic cannot be used to affect the behaviour of another person, as free will is revered.
Similarly, spells should not be used to avenge a hated ex or bullying colleague. “There’s a distinction between witchcraft and magic,” Inbaal says. “While magic can be used to hurt people, witches as a community will never tolerate harm being done to a person or animal.” Damn. So what can be done with magic? “You can absolutely affect your life with magic,” Inbaal says, citing the time she did a ‘work spell’; lighting green candles, burning her wishes on a piece of paper, then finding a juicy job as a TV psychic two weeks later. But it’s not work most of us wish to alter with mysterious powers, it seems. “Anyone who says their first spell wasn’t a love spell is lying. Even in a recession, this is what people want to learn,” Inbaal says. An easy one, if you’re interested, is to do everything in twos. “Put on two bracelets in the morning; wear two lines of eyeliner instead of one,” she says. (For a more in depth love spell, go to tntmagazine.com/spell). ››
What spell would you cast? TNTMAGAZINE.COM
Darkness lurks at every turn
to wear ’office clothes’.” For some, interest in vampires is cosmetic, a chance to imitate the most glamorous of mythical beings; for others it’s artistic, a fascination with the genre's films and books. However, there are people who take their obsession further. “There are members of group who practice blood drinking,” Thunder says. “This can take different forms. In general though, blood play – or Sanguinarian Vampirism – is done between two consenting adults and, as it’s so intimate, usually takes place in a sexual setting. As a group we neither condemn nor condone this practice.” So real-life blood-suckers do indeed walk among us. But vampirism, according to believers, can take other forms. “My interest in the paranormal includes Psychic Vampirism, or Psy-vampirism,“ Thunder says. “This is based on the notion that humans are not as self-contained as the
In Australia there's more nakedness
skin we live in. We have an aura and psychic vampires can draw on the energies people give off. “As with blood drinking, Psy-vampirism should never be done without consent, although obviously it’s much harder to take someone’s blood without their knowledge!” It’s juicy stuff, but for the most part, hanging out with the LVMG is more likely to make you feel like a Nineties teenager than a bit-part in a horror film. Just don't mention Twilight. “I don’t think the Twilight films do much for the genre,” Thunder advises. "If you want to watch a good vampire film, I’d recommend Christopher Lee’s Dracula.” The London Vampire Meetup Group; various locations vampiresoflondon.com Witchfest, Fairfield Halls, Croydon, CR9 1DG; November 12; from £12 witchfest.net Central CroydonGeorge Street East Croydon
Wiccans accept a spell works because you believe it will, and Inbaal agrees that you can, theoretically, do the magic in your mind. “It’s entirely possible to do a ritual in your head and with practice you learn to slip into the Beta brainwaves mode that you need to make magic, similar to when you’re falling asleep. It’s the internal changes that rituals bring about that are important. But rituals make it easier and also, are awesome!” Their awesomeness is undoubtedly part of what will draw crowds to Witchfest this weekend, where attendees can learn to ‘cast a circle’, buy witchy products like ritual daggers and attend talks. That, and “the chance to be surrounded by people with an affinity for velvet and big hair!” Inbaal says. Across town, in a north London pub, the London Vampire Meetup Group (LVMG) is not hard to spot. A mass of Victorian ruffles, pale faces, dark lips and black clothes, they cluster around a candle-lit table and spill on to the pavement, looking spectacular. “We are a gathering of darkened souls who bear an interest in all things vampiric, from those who have a love for the literature and the movies to those who prefer to delve deeper,” the group proclaims on its website. The delving deeper sounds intriguing. So what, apart from drinking pints and being friendly and generally pretty un-scary, do these vampire-lovers get up to? Chief organiser of the LVMG, Thunder, 40, who changed his name to Thunder Raven-Stoker 12 years ago – “My parents were a bit off about it to begin with but they’ve accepted it now” – finishes an impressively dark DJ set and rejoins the group. “I first developed an interest in vampires as a teenager,” he says. “I was into old, vaguely cheesy horror movies, especially those about vampires. The paranormal aspect was a key element and I was into legends and myths in general, but of all monsters, the seductiveness and romanticism of vampires resonated the most strongly with me.” On occasions like this, Thunder and other members of the group wear fangs. These are made of dental acrylic and may or may not be permanent. "I take mine out for work," Thunder says. The pointy shoes, frilly shirts and waistcoats, however, remain. “I probably wouldn't do a job where I had
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Go to tntmagazine.com/competitions. See webpage for terms and conditions. Winners will be selected at random.
KB FITNESS - UNLIMITED KICKBOXING CLASSES TUESDAYS & WEDNESDAYS As the nights draw in, KB Fitness is offering two FREE memberships to TNT readers. The countryâ€™s leading martial arts training provider is giving two TNT readers free unlimited beginner kickboxing classes for six months. As well as being a rigorous workout that can burn as many as 850 calories each session, kickboxing can do wonders for relieving feelings of frustration and anger. Practicing kickboxing moves can also help to improve balance, flexibility, co-ordination and endurance. Kickboxing is also a great way to get a total body workout. Brain
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PREVIOUS WINNER TNT 1465: SEVEN NIGHTS IN KITZBUHEL, IN THE AUSTRIAN ALPS: Victoria Smith
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The outspoken stand-up tells us why his shows never win awards and why slagging off other comics can be a force for good INTERVIEW ALISON GRINTER
In your 2010 Edinburgh show, Christ On A Bike, you joke: “How many weeks would you have to attend Catholic mass and receive Holy Communion before you ate an entire Jesus?” Did that upset any Christians? It’s a silly observation but it’s looking at an important point: if transubstantiation [the Catholic belief that mass turns bread and wine into the body and blood of Christ] is real, what does that actually mean? Is it literal or metaphorical? That’s just the pendantry of my character trying to work that out. Anyway, Christianity is about turning the other cheek, accepting criticism and rising above it, and most Christians do that anyway. Nearly all the criticism I’ve had for this show comes from people who haven’t seen it. I think it’s actually a very proJesus show. I’m quite a big fan of Jesus, I just don’t happen to believe that he’s the son of God. There’s a YouTube video of you putting a drunk heckler in his place. It’s possibly the best heckler slap-down ever. He’s was disrupting the show to such an extent that I couldn’t help but make the show about him. If you’re up against someone who’s really drunk then it’s fairly easy to take them on. He was actually waiting for me outside at the end of the show and he was ready to hit me but he was so drunk he was incapable of doing anything. If you do this job long enough, you get used to it happening. And it’s not like you want it to happen, but if you’ve done your set 100 times and something different happens, it gives you a chance to ad lib a whole routine. You once called Peter Kay an “oleaginous cunt”. Does being that outspoken ever get you into trouble? Did I really? That’s very rude of me! A lot of these things are part of the comedy routine and the joke is on me as much as the other person. It’s one of the last taboos, to not say bad things about other comedians. But if other comedians are doing something you think is wrong then I think you should say something. Like when you spoke out about Ricky Gervais using the word ‘mong’? I just suggested it was a bad thing to do. I work
Punching up, not down: Richard Herring
a lot with Scope, a disabled charity, and I know how much effect that word has. It’s not the word itself, it’s the way it’s used. There’s a lot of comedy that tackles disability in a good way and Ricky’s done a lot of that in the past, which is why I think it’s a bit odd that he’s said this now. His defence was that the word is not used derogatively against people with Down’s Syndrome anymore. But that’s just not true, is it? And then he put up pictures of himself gurning in a way that suggests to me that he’s being rude towards disabled people. He’s welcome to do that but I’m just surprised because he’s an intelligent comedian. Comedy should be punching up, not downwards. There are so many powerful people we should taking the piss out of. I don’t like it when comedians punch downwards. Your book, How Not To Grow Up, was a hilarious look at turning 40 and realising that you were very immature. Then you stopped drinking and met the love of your life. Are you mature now? Now I’m concentrating more on my work and I’m much happier in myself. In the past four years, I’ve done four of the best stand-up shows I’ve ever done and I’ve got an audience that’s growing organically all the time, which is lovely. It’s good to be getting on with my work when
five to six years ago I would be out trying to get drunk and meeting women. You’ve done 20 Edinburgh festivals in 25 years but you’ve never won the big comedy prize there. Why is that? I’ve never really won any awards. I’ve never even been nominated. But now I’m not even eligible because I’m too famous which makes me laugh when I see some of the people who end up winning. The first award I ever won was the Chortle Award for the best internet program earlier this year. None of my live shows or any of the scripts I’ve written has ever won anything. When I wrote How Not To Grow Up, I felt like I was being passed by. It can get to you, then you get to a point where you realise it doesn’t matter. It’s about balance: getting enough people along to see your shows but retaining enough anonymity to go about your daily life without being recognised. When I’ve been in a room or walked along the street with people like Ricky Gervais or Frank Skinner, they can’t go five yards without someone stopping them or talking to them in a cafe. I can still earwig in on people’s conversations in coffee shops. As a writer that’s very important. Christ On A Bike out on DVD on Oct 31 through PIAS comedy.
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MACHINE GUN PREACHER FILM review by Pierre de Villiers STARRING: Gerard Butler, Michelle Monaghan | 15 | 123mins
IN TIME FILM STARRING: Justin Timberlake, Amanda Seyfried and Cillian Murphy | TBC |109mins
The saying “time is money” takes on a chillingly literal meaning in Andrew Niccol’s latest sci-fi thriller. In the future, rich people can buy themselves immortality while the poor have in-built use-by dates. Against this backdrop, Will Salas (Timberlake, further beefing up his acting CV) finds himself accused of murder and on the run from the insidious Timekeeper police. His only hope is to bring the whole corrupt system down. 28
Having gone from drugged-up American biker to gun-toting African missionary, Sam Childers has a life story that deserves to be told on the big screen. Unfortunately, it fell to director Marc Forster and Gerard Butler to make the biopic. Heavy-handed and featuring a number of performances that don’t ring true, Machine Gun Preacher is a major disappointment. Butler puts in a committed but largely unconvincing turn as Childers, who, initially, is a redneck criminal who demands his wife, Lynn (Monaghan), strips to bring in money. After a nasty incident involving a knife-wielding hitchhiker, he finds God and starts going to church. When a visiting pastor tells Childers of missionary work in northern Uganda and southern Sudan, he goes to see for himself and is deeply moved. Shocked by the treatment of children at the hands of guerrilla fighters, he opens an orphanage and protects it by any means. With Butler and Monaghan making for two of the most unlikely hillbillies ever (accents come and go and Monaghan is more ‘soccer mom’ that stripper), the first 30 minutes are terrible. Things improve slightly when the action heads to Africa, but any hopes that the film has turned a corner dissipates due to pedestrian storytelling and Butler’s limitations as an actor. While Childers is clearly a complex individual, the star portrays him as little more than a bible-bashing Rambo. It might not be as bad as his rom-coms but Machine Gun Preacher is yet another misfire from Butler. GOOD FOR: Hardcore Butler fans
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Never mind his unassuming, Yorkshire demeanour, Alun Cochrane sure knows how to pack a comedic punch. He’s a regular on programmes like Mock The Week and his most recent Edinburgh show Moments of Alun was a critical hit. Expect a sharp, witty mix of spot-on observations and surreal flights of fancy as he brings his show to London for the first time.
Bloomsbury Theatre 15 Gordon St. WC1H 0AH Wed, Nov 2. £12 thebloomsbury.com Euston Square
20 YEARS OF DAZED & CONFUSED MAGAZINE
A WALK IN THE WOODS
Style bible Dazed & Confused’s modus operandi was to “make it up as we go along”. No wonder they had so much creative freedom and cuttingedge flair. This show immortalises the mag’s most infamous stories, iconic covers and the controversial editorial content which made it so refreshingly irreverant on its launch in 1991.
Inspired by a real-life walk taken by a pair of Soviet and US arms negotiators in 1982, Lee Blessing’s neatly structured two-hander analyses the function of these Cold War diplomats. Steven Crossley’s seasoned Botvinnik wears his responsibility lightly, much to the annoyance of his idealistic US counterpart (Myriam Cyr). LK
Somerset House Strand. Nov 4-Jan 29. Free somersethouse.org.uk Charing Cross
Tricycle NW6 7JR. Until Nov 12. £12-£22 tricycle.co.uk Kilburn
JEFF DUNHAM What’s your show Controlled Chaos about? As with my other shows it has no social redeeming value whatsoever. You can leave your brain at the door and watch it simply for the sake of getting a good laugh.
Photos: Simon Kane
Ventriloquism has a bad rep: how do you disabuse people? There’s a generation of younger folks who have never really seen it in a bad light. When that generation saw me on YouTube and Comedy Central, things started to expand. The fans from the early Nineties have remained loyal and now bring along family and friends to the shows. Funny trumps everything.
STARRING: James Marsden, Kate Bosworth 18 | 110mins
Banned in the UK in 1965, Edward Bond’s portrayal of aimless social alienation went on to become a global hit. In Sean Holmes’ respectful, unfussy-but-effective revival, the infamous babystoning scene now unsettles rather than shocks, but the bleak, detached limitation of his workingclass characters still has the power to disturb. LK
Most people will remember Sam Peckinpah’s 1971 film for its controversial rape scene where the victim seems to enjoy the violent act. For this remake, director Rod Lurie transplants the action from rural England to the Deep South with Kate Bosworth and James Marsden as the young city couple under siege from territorial hicks.
Lyric Hammersmith King Street, W6 0QL. Until Nov 5. £12.50-£30 lyric.co.uk Hammersmith
What’s Achmed The Dead Terrorist’s backstory? He had a “Premature Detonation”. He was filling up his car at a gas station and answered his cell phone. Boom! But since his accident, he has travelled the US with me and has become enamoured with our society. He loves cars, rock ‘n’ roll, women, so he’s conflicted: he knows he’s meant to create havoc, but loves the place. Your biggest phobia? Sharks. DVD Jeff Dunham Controlled Chaos out Nov 7 through PIAS Comedy
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Florence + The Machine: Ceremonials
Kinect Sports: Season 2 Xbox 360
A spot of golf in your living room, anyone? Or will it be baseball? Darts perhaps? £27.99 blockbuster.co.uk
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Hail a black cab from your phone and GPS technology will bring one to you. There’s also a cabshare option. You’ll never wait again. Free cabapp.net
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Animal bodycon dress Just try to keep predators away with this on. The pink piping is super-hot.
Debbie Harry T-shirt Men can wear the face of this saucy musical icon close to their hearts. Purr.
Pussy bow blouse Sleek, sexy and totally animalistic. runwayroute.com
ARBEIT JEWELLERY & ACCESSORIES POP-UP
If you enjoy hunting down unique pieces of jewellery, pay a visit to the Arbeit gallery’s pop-up shop, which will be chock-full of handcrafted pieces that you won’t see all over the high street. For two days only, a host of designers from the UK and abroad will showcase their innovative jewellery, bags and other handiwork for the public to buy. The creations are made from metal, felt and second-hand materials and are available to buy for a broad range of prices. The German gallery itself, whose name translates to ‘work’ in English, houses a collection of edgy work by established and upand coming artists and designers. Its aim is to give artists of various disciplines a forum to present their talents to the public. This is its first pop-up shop for Arbeit, and they promise more, so watch this space. OPEN November 24-26 COST Prices range from £10 to £200 arbeit.co.uk 4 Helmet Row, EC1V 3QJ Old Street
Animal print leggings These foxy things give furry legs a whole new meaning.
Women’s leather belt Wear this French Connection design with clashing prints to really bring out your wild side.
Leopard collar coat Just a hint of animal print is sometimes sexier than the whole shebang.
Jaguar print bag This eco-cotton bag can be worn over the shoulder or as a backpack. Bold and functional – we love it. femme-enfant.com
Men’s crocodile-print shoes It’s a jungle out there, gentlemen, so put your best foot forward.
Animal-print scarf A whole zoo worth of animal prints in one tidy scarf. Rock it. houseoffraser.co.uk
LIFESTYLEHEALTH CLASS OF THE WEEK
KETTLE BELLS Kettlebells is one of the few gym classes you’ll find blokes attending. The cast-iron weights have traditionally been used by Russian strongmen for years, so it’s a little more acceptable for manly types than, say, taking zumba. But that doesn’t mean the ladies can’t join in, too. Far from bulking up the body – which is what many women fear when it comes to weight lifting – kettlebells give a healthy all-over body workout. The Pure Kettlebells class at Pure Gym in Wandsworth involves a circuit – basically a series of stretches with kettlebell lifts mixed in. Not only does this achieve all-over muscle tone and improve your core, but it also doubles as a cardiovascular workout. We can attest to this, having turned crimson-faced and sweated profusely just 30 minutes into the one-hour class. And this with the smallest weight we could find. Don’t fear the kettlebells, though. The class is simple enough for even an unfit beginner like us to catch on quick, and you’ll be increasing the weight you use in no time. Et voila! Consider yourself toned-up totty.
Keen to get fit but sick of jogging or lifting weights? Well, why not try cage-fighting? WORDS TOM STURROCK
You might not like the idea of brawny men throwing you face-first into the mat, or jumping on your back and trying to rip your arm out of its socket. But, fortunately, it’s possible to get the fitness benefits of mixed martial arts (MMA – for the fans) without incurring grievous bodily harm. At the Titan gym in north London, about a dozen fighters are warming up for their training session. They’re all shapes and sizes. There are a couple of monsters, no doubt, brick shithouses with calves that look set to burst the skin. Some of these brutes must weigh about 120kgs, but they’re actually outnumbered by leaner, long-limbed fighters, who are lighter on their feet and don’t necessarily look like they were born and raised in a weights room. The backgrounds of MMA fighters are equally diverse – quite a few come from a Brazilian jiu-jitsu background, but others started doing karate or kung fu before
Clockwise: Sirwan was too slow; Pickett in action; the sweet science of MMA
Welcome to the Octagon
52 Wandsworth High Street, SW18 4LD puregym.com Clapham Junction Wandsworth Town
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adapting their styles for the rough and tumble of cage-fighting. Others, like Brad Pickett, one of the growing number of British fighters in the Ultimate Fighting Championship, come from a boxing background. “I played a lot of sports,” Pickett says as the other fighters in the gym continue their routine. “I played a lot of football but kept getting injured. And then I was a boxer, but with MMA, you have to be able to do it all. So even though I used to box, now I like the wrestling and the different holds as well.” Pickett, 33, stands 5’6 and fights at 60odd-kgs, making him a bantamweight, a division in which he is ranked seventh in the world. Pickett might be a little fella, but his nickname ‘One Punch’ Pickett, suggests he packs a wallop. And, this weekend in Birmingham, he’ll be fighting Brazilian Renan Barão in one of the main events at UFC 138. We begin our Cage-fighting 101
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Devils Mint body scrub Devilishly good £24.60 elemis.com
Even a three-minute round takes its stoll with a warm-up – squats, sit-ups and pushups, 10 at a time, 20 at a time and then 30 at a time – before going through some basic submission holds, for which Pickett brings in Sirwan, another fighter who he refers to as his ‘guinea pig’. There’s the rear chokehold, which is like an old-school sleeper-hold but harder to break out of, and the golden triangle, also like a sleeper-hold but executed with your legs while on your back. Pickett then explains ‘the shot’ – one fighter lunges to grab an opponent – and ‘the sprawl’ – the other fighter darts backwards and flattens themselves on the ground to evade the grapple, before spinging back to their feet. After some work on the pads – working jabs, hooks and uppercuts – we combine it all on the heavy bag. Pickett whistles every 20 seconds or so, meaning
Photos: TNT, Calm and Clear
A waxy affair
I have to sprawl, flattening myself on the ground before jumping up and hammering into the bag again. After a three-minute round – UFC rounds go for five minutes – I am absolutely knackered. I can barely get back to my feet after my final sprawl and my punches are now more like insipid, limp-armed slaps. It’s an incredible workout, combining all the strength and conditioning of a gym session with an extensive cardio regime. There is even an invitation to step into the Octagon with one of the cagefighters. Presumably, that would be less NEXT WEEK like fun and more like pain and ritual A spot of hypnotherapy humilation. Maybe next time.
GOSH nail laquer For talons with attitude £4.99 buygosh.co.uk
TOP TREATMENT: EAR CANDLING Used by ancient civilisations to treat ear, nose and throat conditions, ThermoAuricular Therapy balances pressure and fluid in the ears. The treatment is said to aid vertigo and migraines as well. A hollow tube made of flax and beeswax is placed in one ear while you lie on your side, and the other end is lit on fire. The warm air draws out impurities and stimulates blood circulation. Just be sure not to look in the candle once you’ve finished ... yuk!
Vita Man cleanser For a clean kinda man £27.50 vitamangrooming.co.uk
Calm and Clear, WC2H 9DP
gelSPA luxury bath soak Relax in a bath of gel beads £9.99 boots.co.uk
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Job satisfaction: get paid to make people squirm with a job in the scare industry
Kings of fear Meet the people who make a living from scaring others senseless WORDS CLARE VOOGHT
Spooky entertainment and fearsome pranks aren’t just for Halloween – the scare industry is busy all year round.
Stewart Pringle, Director of the London Horror Festival Darkness is the key ingredient when it comes to fear, says theatre director, writer and producer, Stewart Pringle. But you need a lot more to pull off a horror show. “Sound has to be perfectly timed to the lighting, music needs to be composed, there’s blood, effects, makeup, sets. It’s not a minimalist genre.” While achieving an end product that’s more The Shining than Buffy The Vampire Slayer is a challenge, the payoffs are high. “The really exciting thing is that you can generate a really visceral reaction from an audience,” says 34
Pringle, who lives in Peckham. “You see them jump. We’ve had people fainting, throwing up and running out.” When he’s not directing, the 26year-old creates scary play concepts. Having always been a horror fan, three years ago he co-founded dark London-based company Theatre of the Damned, with pal Tom Richards. Now, the pair are taking things further with the launch of the London Horror Festival, Courtyard Theatre, in Hoxton until November 27. Its three shows an evening celebrate horror in theatre, comedy and music, and viewers are promised black humour, grisly psychodrama and a lot of gore from its modern shows and classic adaptations. And it’s through a love of being scared that Pringle does it. “It gets your
adrenaline going. To have an audience who believe enough in the fate of a character to be jumping and crying out in fear is a great kind of escapism.”
Careena Fenton, Show manager at Warwick Castle Careena Fenton, 38, runs attractions like the dungeon at Warwick Castle and works with actors to make sure they’re as scary as possible. “To get the best screams, they have to have real intent and viciousness behind their eyes,” says Fenton, who lives in Leamington Spa. “Snorts generally do the trick as well.” Unlike her previous theatre experience in stage magic, Fenton also has to help calm people down when things get a bit too much. A “code
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ON THE JOB JOHANNA PAYTON A strong stomach helps
Matthew McMaster’s work uniform
Darkness is the key ingredient when it comes to fear
rainbow” (when someone throws up) happens about twice a week. Less often are “code red” – when someone needs first aid because they’ve fainted – and the ominous “code brown”. But usually, things don’t get quite as harrowing. “Hearing screams then laughter is the most rewarding thing – people are shocked, then they laugh because they know they’re safe.”
Matthew Clarkson, Marketing executive for London Dungeon As marketing executive, Matthew Clarkson’s job is to promote the London Dungeons – essentially, to sell the fear. From his office, which is in the dungeon, he regularly hears bloodcurdling screams from visitors. It makes a change from his last role in corporate marketing for Burger King. “The best thing about working in the dungeon is seeing people’s reactions. When people scream, they instantly follow that with a laugh,” says Clarkson, 26, who lives in Richmond. “Coming close to people’s faces then making a loud sound always gets them. Even if they know you’re coming.” But Clarkson admits he gets scared at times too. “I came into a pitch black dungeon. Didn’t know where anything was and was stuck next to a gargoyle with blood coming out of its mouth.”
Matthew McMaster, Scare actor at Scream, Madame Tussauds “Fear is a great equaliser. I’ve seen plenty of big beefy guys walk through and squeal like pigs in fear of a girl or a guy half their size. Often they’re the easiest to scare,” says Matthew McMaster, who lives in Surrey. After he finished drama school, the Johannesburg-born actor, 28, went for his role at Scream (an attraction in Madame Tussauds made to look like a maximum security prison) because he loves all things macabre. He slaps on a good layer of theatrical make-up then for nine hours a day, McMaster plays what he calls “extreme hide and seek”. And how do people react to his antics? “Most people jump,” he says. “But occasionally someone will be genuinely terrified and just break down, then we may have to lead them to the exit.” Maintaining non-stop energy while running around like a crazy person all day, says McMaster, is the most challenging part of his role. “But it’s the only job in the world where you can run at full speed at an old lady or small child NEXT WEEK and scream at them without The lowdown on working in China getting arrested!”
JOB Head of Fashion at StyleCompare AGE 37 LIVES Tooting FROM Yorkshire How did you get into your line of work? I started out as a freelance journalist in 2002, writing features for LOOK, Grazia and Sunday Times Style before launching a blog, Fashion Detective. After reading my ramblings, eBay asked me to write their fashion blog and I then landed my role at fashion comparison website Style Compare. What do you do day-to-day? I look at new products and trends, and chat to the team about what’s hot and what’s not. I go to events and spend time in Central London to see what people are wearing. I update Fashion Detective daily and read and write about fashion obsessively. What’s the best part of your job? Getting to talk and write about gorgeous clothes, designers, brands and fashion events every day. What’s the most challenging? Keeping track of new and emerging trends; things change daily.
HOW TO ... AVOID
Got beef with someone at work?
• To avoid having a major
bust-up with a colleague, try to deal with small tensions before you go mental. Speak to your colleague in a calm and controlled way about what’s bothering you.
• Don’t succumb to snide
remarks with a comeback – there’s nothing like keeping the upper hand.
• If someone’s complaining
about your behaviour at work, hear them out and work on it.
Speak to Randstad Education for 2012 teaching opportunities in London At Randstad Education we have a number of great teaching opportunities for 2012 including: • • • • • • •
KS2 teachers (especially Year 6) for the East and North London areas KS1 and KS2 teachers for Central London Maths teachers throughout London Science teachers throughout London English teachers throughout London Business and ICT teachers throughout London SEN teachers throughout London
Not only are we the leading UK and global education recruitment specialist, but we are also one of the largest education recruitment specialists in London. So, whether you are looking for an opportunity in foundation, primary, secondary or special needs, we can help you. We currently help to find the right job for over 10,000 teachers across the UK and we know that we could do the same for you. So if you are a teacher with a passion for what you do, we would love to hear from you.
Please call: 020 7400 6035 Or email: firstname.lastname@example.org RECOMMEND A FRIEND We are always looking for superb, qualified teachers in the London area and we know that good people, know good people. So if you have a friend or family member that you can recommend, our fantastic recommend a friend scheme allows you to earn yourself some extra money! To find out more, please call the London team on 020 7400 6035.
tntjobs.co.uk JACK NADEL INTERNATIONAL T: 020 7535 3400 www.nadel.com Jack Nadel International are a busy promotional merchandise and events company based in Notting Hill, London.
JOB OF THE WEEK: Xxxxxxxxxxxx Financial Controller/Management Accountant XxxxxxxHill, Salary: Xxxxxxxxx Location: Notting London Salary: £25 000- £32 000 DOE Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Ideal candidate: Experience producing full management accounts. Familiar with busy small office environment. Part qualified. Sage50 vital Name | Number | Email Responsibilities: VAT returns, EC Sales. Accounts payable and receivable. Month end journals, VAT, Fixed Assets and general ledger. Investigating variances against budgets. Cash flow. Reporting directly to CEO Please send you CV directly to email@example.com
INSPIRED PEOPLE T: 0845 838 5501 www.inspiredpeople.org We supply street fundraisers for various inhouse charities. This position is for Amnesty International UK and you will be an integral part of their fundraising department.
JOB OF THE WEEK: Street Fundraisers Location: London Salary: £9ph + Holiday pay You will be working on London high streets inspiring people to donate to AIUK. You must be a cheerful and confident communicator and have genuine passion for the AIUK cause. Kate Hatten | 0845 838 5501 | firstname.lastname@example.org
T: 07716 376 408
JOB OF THE WEEK: Best Backpackers Jobs ever Location: UK, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand Salary: Average £600 pw. Make £15,000 by Christmas!
IPG is an international company marketing leisure events (paintball, go-karting, theme parks).
Work as part of a team at outdoor shows/indoor shopping centres across the country. See the sights, and have fun along the way. IPG’s promo teams comprise 150+ Aussies, Kiwis, Canadians, and more. Free drinks every Friday night. 07716 376 408
Looking for your next job? NEW JOBS ONLINE EVERY DAY 36
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CASH SAVING TIPS
HOW YOU SPEND IT!
GET ON TRACK CHEAPLY Xxxxxxxxx Fancy a staycation? Southeastern trains is XXXXXXXXX offering 20 per cent off Xxxxxxxxxxx off-peak tickets bought online to Kent and XXXXXXXXX East Sussex. You’ll have Xxxxxxxxxxx to hurry though, the offer ends November 6. XXXXXXXXX southeasternrailway.co.uk Xxxxxxxxxxx TWITTER DISHES DEALS XXXXXXXXX Not just a useful way to Xxxxxxxxxxx while away hours, Twitter is heaving with bargains if you just follow the right people. Find @Bragitup, which flags up the best discount deals floating through the web; and @PennyGolightly, alerts you to bargains around London, such as free coffee and sales at Topman.
After a long day in the office or in class, if I don’t have the items I need written out beforehand, I’ll buy up the entire supermarket!
JOB Intern FROM California LIVES South Kensington
at the moment, seeing my accounts dwindling is enough to keep me wary of my spending.
How do you budget? I frequently look at my bank statements. With no income
Any money-saving tips? Always make a list before going grocery shopping.
KELSEY CLARK, 20
What non-essential items do you spend money on? Pillows. There always seems to be enough room on my tiny twin size bed for more decorative, arty pillows.
HOW THEY SPEND IT! When the bills kill A US woman got the shock of her life when she racked up a £20,000 phone bill through texting while overseas. As these people learned, it pays to keep an eye on your usage
A CRIMBO FRIEND If you are organised enough to get your Christmas shopping done early, the website, camelcamelcamel.com can be your friend for a bargain buy. Find an item you like on Amazon, copy and paste the item’s URL into the website and it will alert you when the price drops. Be ready to pounce. BONFIRE FUN /08 DESTINATIONS /75
Last big blow-out? I just got back from a trip to Barcelona. Between the paella, the fruity cocktails, museum tickets and club covers I spent half a month’s allowance.
And there goes the mortgage
❚ Indian billionaire Mukesh Ambani was faced with a 7 million rupee (£90,000) electricity bill for his mansion in Mumbai. But then, it was the most expensive house ever built.
❚ Canadian Piotr Staniaszek erroneously thought he could use his new phone as a modem for his computer under his £6 browser plan, and the oversight cost him a jaw-dropping £41,000.
❚ Malaysian Yahaya Wahab said he nearly fainted when he received his dead father’s phone bill for £137 trillion and was ordered to settle within 10 days. Ouch.
❚ Brit William Harrison wanted internet access while in Paris and racked up £7648 on his mobile internet broadband in a month for the privilege.
Need to send money between UK and home? r Cheapee than th banks*
*Source: 1st Contact survey of UK high street bank charges, April 2008.
0870-898 8996 tntforex.com TNTMAGAZINE.COM
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Scary party banner Spook up your pad for Halloween poundland.co.uk
The south’s hidden gem Camberwell, SE5
WORDS CLARE VOOGHT
Headphonie speaker man Play tunes through this little dude heals.co.uk
Inflatable pumpkin cooler Keep your Halloween beers cold tescoparty.com
Retro kitchen clock Tell the time like a 1950s housewife dotcomgiftshop.com
For many Londoners, Camberwell is off the radar, partly because it doesn’t have a Tube or station bearing its name. But that just helps to make it a secret south London nook still unmarred by coffee chains and shopping malls. And it keeps prices down. “If a Starbucks opened here, people wouldn’t be chuffed,” says Helen Gray, from Your Move in Camberwell Church Street. Independent cafes sit next to spit-andsawdust pubs, and trendy bars by grotty kebab shops. It’s a mix of young, arty and gritty. Because of Camberwell College of Arts, the area is a hub for young arty types, who fill cafes such as Johansson’s Deli in Grove Lane and bars such as Victorian boozer The Tiger (thetigerpub.com). A lot of people are attracted by the arts. Gray says: “There are small galleries, pop-up exhibitions, especially towards Peckham.” The South London Gallery is in Peckham Road (southlondongallery.org), right by the college, where you’ll find modern art made by both British and international hands. Alongside the bohemian side of Camberwell, Gray says the area also attracts young families, who stick around after they move in. And it’s home to both commuters and an original working-class population. Denmark Hill Hospital attracts plenty of doctors, nurses and plenty of medical students. Gray says it’s also a lively place. “In the evening especially it gets very busy,” he adds. “The shops are open, people are walking around at night. It seems to come alive after
There’s plenty of green space around Camberwell 7pm.” When it comes to the housing, look one way and you’ll see council blocks. Look the other and you’ll find streets of period buildings that have been turned into flats. Behind those there are new apartment blocks being built. “There are some fabulous Georgian properties,” says Bob Norfolk-Thompson, from Your Move. “You’ve got Victorian, a bit of Edwardian, Twenties, Thirties, and you’ve got the post-war infills and you’ve got a complete mix architecturally. “Historically it was a spa town. People used to take the waters from the Camber Well. The nicest houses are at the top of Camberwell Grove, where the spring is.” Simon Goh, from Haart in Camberwell
Green, says the sense of community is strong, adding: “People are very proud of the area.” And this time next year, the area will get smarter as the council starts redeveloping old social housing. But for now, Goh says most estates are fine. “During the riots Peckham
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MY AREA ROSANNA LILLEY Student, 19
“It has become quite an artistic, bohemian place. The Recreation Ground is really nice. You can get a beer for £2 and get drunk playing scrabble there.”
LAURENCE TURNER Waiter, 21
got done over, Brixton got done over, even Dulwich got done over,” he explains. “We had an attempted break-in at the local phone shop and that was about it. We pretty much missed it.” Camberwell residents also have plenty of green space to enjoy – with Camberwell Green in the centre (where there’s a monthly farmers’ market), Burgess Park to the north and venture a short distance south to find Peckham Park, with its outdoor gym. As for other surrounding areas, you don’t have to go too far for a night out – Brixton and Clapham are both easy to get to.
So where are the best bits to start looking for a place? “Camberwell Grove, Grove Park and Grove Lane – anything on the hillside – are the most sought after because of the views and the nice tree-lined streets,” Goh says. But the period conversions from Coldharbour Lane NEXT WEEK to Loughborough are a good place Feng shui your flat to look for the best deals.
“It’s a really nice distance from central London. I feel like I live in a nice little town. It’s not too crowded but it’s cosy and it’s not as rushed as other places.”
“There are great restaurants. I study at Camberwell College of Arts and the area’s good. it’s a really calm place and everyone’s friendly around here.”
SE5 INFO BOROUGH
Southwark COUNCIL TAX
£977.00 TRAVEL TIME TO LONDON
30 mins HOUSESHARE £645pcm
ONE-BEDROOM FLAT £1,100pcm
TWO-BEDROOM FLAT £1,200pcm
A double room in a three-storey, four-bedroom house just off Camberwell Green. With original features, a large kitchen, two bathrooms and a private garden.
A furnished flat in a mansion block in the peaceful Denmark Hill area with a large double bedroom, a good-sized lounge and a separate, fully fitted kitchen.
A two-bed conversion flat a few minutes’ walk from Burgess Park. Set over two floors, the property is unfurnished and has recently been refurbished.
Denmark Hill overground, Zone 2 AVERAGE ROOM SHARE 1 BED
£650pcm AVERAGE RENTAL 1 BED
£1,000pcm AVERAGE FLAT 1 BED
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Bit of a shit present, really
WHAT’S MORE FUN THAN DOG FAECES? UNITED KINGDOM A toy game that gives children a chance to clean up a “little present” from a dog is tipped to be one of the best-selling gifts this Christmas. The Doggie Doo game gives players a chance to scoop up as many plasticine Dachshund dog faeces as possible in order to win. The dice game retails for about £24 and is on this year’s Christmas wishlist for children. Other toys on the ‘must-have’ list, drawn up by the Toy Retailers’ Association, include a hi-tech tablet children’s computer, dolls that double as bedroom lights and toys that can hold conversations. Figures show that almost two thirds of annual toy sales are made before Christmas.
TWEETS OF THE WEEK
@jimmycarr Woman is pregnant after using her husband’s sperm that was frozen 20 yrs ago. It’s amazing what you find when you clear out the big freezer @BumbleCricket (David Lloyd) Curious story in Times India, Global section. Court case featuring a man and a donkey ....surely not Nasser !!!!!!????? @charltonbrooker Once, when I was being flamboyantly verbose, someone called me a “Roget’s Thesaurus cunt”. Still makes me laugh when I think about it.
SPIKE IN BALCONY SEX REQUESTS IN TOP END AUSTRALIA Earlier this year, a video of a couple knocking boots on a balcony in the 40
At least they didn’t give her an Akubra: Australians love it when visitors to their country are baffled by their idiosyncrasies and the Queen is the ultimate scalp – even after 16 visits, Australian rules remains a mystery. Her Majesty should count herself lucky that, unlike every other visiting luminary, she wasn’t forced to pose with a koala
middle of Darwin became a viral hit and the city’s escort agencies have since been flooded with requests for similarly exhibitionist shenanigans. Blondies Escorts operator Michelle Love said the agency was now inundated with outdoor enquiries. “We used to occasionally get a guy phone up and ask if our girls would do it outside like on the beach or in a park but we just say no,” she said. “We make them come to our rooms.”
HEARTBREAK FOR LITTLE ADOLF UNITED STATES A New Jersey court has ruled that a couple who named one of their children after Adolf Hitler should not regain custody of their three kids.
The family came to attention in 2008, after a store refused to decorate a birthday cake for their son, Adolf Hitler Campbell. “It’s not like he’s growing up to be a killer or nothing like that,” his mother, Deborah Campbell, said at the time. Adolf and siblings JoyceLynn Aryan Nation and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie have been in foster care since. The appeals court ruled last week that sufficient evidence of abuse or neglect existed because of domestic violence in the home.
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IN NUMBERS 45
Starbucks in New York City – one New Yorker, known as Mister PeePee, has made it his mission to masturbate in each one
Everyone knows the red bird sucks
PIGS GET IT IN REALLIFE ANGRY BIRDS UNITED KINGDOM A 12-year-old Angry Birds fan from Warwickshire has pursued his passion for the addictive iPhone by making his own real-life version that uses pumpkins fired from a cannon. The game requires players to fire angry birds, using a slingshot, at fortified structures hiding little pigs. And, after spending hours playing the small-screen version, which is enjoyed by more than 12 million players around the world, Sam Beards built a ‘pumpkin cannon’ designed by his father. The cannon uses compressed air to fire a pumpkin up to half a kilometre. “I like the game and my brothers and I thought it would good fun to take the idea from Angry Birds and put it into real life,” Sam said.
TRUE LOVE TURNS HOOKER INTO DONKEY
ZIMBABWE A Zimbabwean man has told a court he hired a prostitute who, during the night, transformed into a donkey, and that he is now “seriously in love” with the animal. “I think I am also a donkey. I do not know what happened when I left the bar, but I am seriously in love with (the) donkey,” Sunday Moyo told the court. Moyo said he had paid $25 (4p) for a prostitute, and was surprised when, the next morning, he heard people accusing him of having sex with a donkey. Moyo, 28, has been charged with bestiality and remanded in custody.
Weight, in kilograms, of a 2.4-metre Lego man, made out of fibreglass, that washed up on a beach in Florida
Weight, in pounds, of baby Ajax, who was born in a gallery in front of 20 strangers as part of his mother’s art project
Size of a swarm of bees that attacked trucker Louis Holst after a prang allowed the stingers in his truck to escape
Internet porn: you’re never too young
NO CHRISTMAS FOR TECHIE KIWI KIDS NEW ZEALAND Junior pupils at an Auckland school will be required to own expensive iPads, prompting one parent to insist that Christmas will need to be cancelled. Teachers at the Orewa College are being shown how to use the tablets following an announcement earlier this year that parents of Year 9 students needed to buy an iPad 2, which costs between $799 (£405) and $1148 (£582), or a similar handheld device for their lessons next year. Principal Kate Shevland was adamant parents were on board with the plans. “We have had a meeting with the parents of the students coming in to Year 9 and we’ve been through all these issues,” she said. But parent Selina Capon said she felt they had been manipulated. “I’m furious. I don’t see how it is beneficial from an education standpoint,” she said. “We feel bullied into this.”
QUOTE OF THE WEEK I admit EastEnders is so ridiculous sometimes that you do question your own state of mind for watching it. But it’s quite addictive e Sir Alan Sugar reveals a surprising appreciation of the long-running TV soap
tntjobs.co.uk AUSTRALIAN AMBASSADOR BRUSSELS T: +32 (0)2 286 0500
JOB OF THE WEEK: Professional Chef Location: Brussels Salary: TBN based on qualifications and experience
The Australian Ambassador to Belgium and Luxembourg, based in Brussels, is seeking a professional chef.
A professional chef is required to order/ purchase food and beverages, prepare daily meals as required, create menus and cater for official functions and organise and ensure the cleanliness and safety of the kitchen area.. The Australian Ambassador | +32 (0)2 286 0500 | email@example.com
JOGPOST T: 02000 114 299 / 07957 216 641 www.jogpost.co.uk
JOB OF THE WEEK: Distribution Supervisors Location: London (within M25) Salary: up to £120 a day
Jogpost is the social enterprise, direct marketing company revolutionising the leaflet distribution industry, visit website for details.
Job entails managing a team of upto 10 joggers, who will be leafletting around london (within m25). Working hours typically 08:00 to 18:00.
JOB OF THE WEEK: Hospitality and Promotional staff Location: London Salary: £6.25 to £25 per hour
T: 020 7043 0652 www.lolaevents.co.uk
Taurai | 02000 114 299 / 07957 216 641 | firstname.lastname@example.org
LOLA Events is a UK wide events and hospitality staffing agency. We provide staff for a wide range of unique parties, product launches and conferences.
LOLA is looking for amazing personalities to work at the coolest venues in London during our busy Christmas season. We are hiring waiting and bar staff, hosts and hostesses and promotional models.
CHAIN GANG COURIERS
JOB OF THE WEEK: Motorbike Owner Couriers Location: London Salary: On application
T: 020 7978 4444
River Reach, Gartons Way. Battersea, London SW11 3SX
If Interested please register on www.lolaevents.co.uk
London’s friendliest courier company urgently need full time owner motorbike couriers for a very busy same-day circuit. 30% start bonus for new couriers. Experience not essential. Immediate start: 020 7978 4444
T: 07716 376 408
JOB OF THE WEEK: Best Backpackers Jobs ever Location: UK, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand Salary: Average £600 pw. Make £15,000 by Christmas!
IPG is an international company marketing leisure events (paintball, go-karting, theme parks).
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TNT puts the world to rights
COMMENT: TOM STURROCK firstname.lastname@example.org
Protesters claim to represent 99 per cent of society, as opposed to the richest 1 per cent
Backlash suggests Occupy protesters’ aim is flawless
Critics reveal themselves as paid advocates of the privileged elite The tent city in the shadows of St Paul’s Cathedral has flourished since appearing two weeks ago. But, over the past week, vested interests have begun to deploy a one-two punch – obstruct and dismiss – mounting flimsy objections to the protesters’ presence and cynically hosing down the legitimacy of their concerns. Apparently, the real outrage is tourists not getting a full quota of sightseeing; apparently, the right to protest may be trumped by the right to take happy-snaps. It’s bullshit. Those hoping to dismantle the demonstration by pointing to the effect on St Paul’s visitors begin their statements, ”I agree with the right to protest but…”. The sentence should end, “only unobtrusively and if the protesters leave when told”. How would the Egyptian revolution have fared had Tahrir Square been vacated as soon as tourists were inconvenienced? Another approach of critics has been to dismiss the protesters’ message as unclear. That is a fallacy. The message is not at all cryptic. It is not that corporations should be torn down, capitalism dismantled. It is that sacrifices necessitated by the financial crisis are being extracted disproportionately from those least able to bear them; that, instead, the rich should pay more tax; and that the influence of corporate wealth on electoral politics is profoundly undemocratic. Bear this in mind next time you see a TV talking head or a pub blowhard spluttering, “But what do these people want?” This non-question is answered easily and irrefutably – the feigned incomprehension is merely an avoidance strategy. The backlash against the protest is a symptom of anxiety – if Occupy’s grievances are aired more prominently, how many fair-minded people will disagree? In essence, that is why the protesters claim to represent the 99 per cent. Meanwhile, the rented toadies – politicians from both sides, but mostly Tories, right-leaning commentators, low-tax advocates, corporate spokespeople and lobbyists – who obstruct or dismiss the protesters identify themselves as favoured protectors of the wealthiest 1 per cent. For them, the wrong side of history awaits. » Agree or disagree? Do you agree with the grievances of Occupy? email@example.com
SNUFF FILM SPOILS FEEL-GOOD STORY Unease about Muammar Gaddafi’s torture and execution does nothing to mitigate his crimes against the Libyan people. Rather, it denotes a rejection of barbarism and sadism, no matter who suffers it. And that is worth preserving. No one will shed a tear; no one will mourn Gaddafi’s passing, deposed and despatched, bloodied and violated, into the hereafter. The problem is not created by sympathy for the unseated Libyan leader, but by distaste for those who, if reports are to be believed, were prepared to sodomise him with a hunting knife before dragging him through the streets.
We should reject all barbarism and sadism
When a dictator falls – particularly when western powers have contributed to his demise – bulletins lead with paeans to ‘normal Libyans’ now finally free. But are these animals ‘normal Libyans’? Maybe. Maybe not. Either way, they are part of the post-Gaddafi Libya and that, to whatever degree, befouls the rose-tinted narrative. TNTMAGAZINE.COM
Behind the front line The tales of soliders after a decade of fighting in Afghanistan WORDS REBECCA KENT
This month marks 10 years since the start of the war in Afghanistan. A decade since then US president George W Bush declared war on al-Qaeda and its use of the country as a base. He sent in his troops and the UK followed suit – it was a month after the September 11 attacks in New York, and the aim was to hunt down Osama bin Laden. Fast-forward to today, and Operation Enduring Freedom is rattling to an end; mission accomplished, with a handover to a democratic Afghanistan expected in 2014. Some 2687 coalition troops have been killed – 38,000 enemy deaths have been recorded and up to 34,000 civilians lost their lives. For the soldiers who survived the front line, they return home with injuries, memories, reflections – experiences people will struggle to comprehend. It’s these life-altering encounters that keep troops fully grounded, according to Sergeant James Shimmins, 33, who served two tours in the warzone with 3rd Battalion, the Parachute Regiment. One of these sobering moments happened while the roof he was on in the centre of Sangin – a town in Helmand province – came under attack by a rocket fired by Taliban insurgents. “Two of my lads who were next to me had shrapnel injuries, the fellow to my right lost some of his fingers, another had wounds to his pelvis,” Sgt Shimmins says. “Three lads just behind me were killed, and I got blown clear across the roof, and found bits of shrapnel trapped in my webbing [body armour]. I could have died that night, so I guess I kept that shrapnel as a present from the Taliban.” Now, Sgt Shimmins is sharing that gift with London’s Imperial War Museum. To mark 10 years since the conflict began, its War Story: Serving In Afghanistan exhibition aims to allow civilians to delve into the world of the troops serving in the UK mission Operation Herrick. The exhibition is the product of museum staff having two years’ unprecedented access to service personnel when they 44
returned from the war. Visitors can see raw video footage of troops on patrol, video diary tours in their patrol bases, compelling portraits of the soldiers and candid personal snapshots showing them off duty. Highlights include a CamelBak water flask that was drained of water when three bullets went through it while Guardsman Terry Brazier was on patrol this year; a Taliban flag captured by troops from 1st Battalion; The Royal Irish Regiment in Nad-e-Ali earlier this year; an IED mine detection kit; and the Union flag that flew over Sangin, displayed folded up, untouched since it was lowered in a 2010 ceremony. As well as displaying the horror stories of war, the exhibition is also about encountering first-hand accounts of everyday life for troops. It showcases a range of stirring photographs of British and Allied forces at work and play. The winning image is of a solider smiling at four children. Sgt Shimmins agrees often it would be talking to and watching the local kids that would brighten his darker days. “You’ll have a big fire hit where people would die, but 15 minutes later, the kids will be playing in the field, kicking a ball and trying to get sweets off you,” he says. “They are so hard, and you gradually earn their trust. They’ll say to you ‘don’t go down that path’ and you really feel like they are working with you.” For the soldiers who are the subject of this new exhibition, the opportunity to be painted as humans and not a desensitised mob of gladiators is welcome.“The way the public perceive us now, at least during my career, is the best I’ve ever known it to be, and that’s because of the media,” says Sgt Shimmins. At the exhibition opening, his comrade, Lance Corporal Joanna Brownlow, 24, points to a photo of containers filled with Rice Krispies. “We had a cook-off, like an Afghan Come Dine With Me, and mine was the best pudding,” she boasts. “We got boxes of Rice Krispies, and then the chocolate we get in our rations and melted that over the fire, mixed it
Clockwise: Corp Brownlow; photos on display; Sgt Shimmins; troops improvise with food
together then scooped them into cut-off water bottles. “My family had sent me a packet of milky buttons, so I put them on top, then we put them in the fridge. The fridge didn’t actually work because we had no electricity, but we kept them in there anyway.” Corp Brownlow is a pocket-sized dynamo, hailing from Northern Ireland, serving as a medic in Afghanistan in 2008 and in 2010. She clams up when asked to describe the injuries she’d dealt with in the midst of combat, preferring the public to realise the soldiers’ interactions with each other. She says: “Sometimes it would be just me and 200 blokes.
“ Photos: TNT; Getty; Imperial War Museum
That shrapnel was a gift from the Taliban
They would call me ‘mum’, but they were impressed at how tough I was. When you are a medic out there you want people to be confident in you, and if you can’t even carry your own kit, they’re not going to be.” Not only are exhibitions of this kind critical for history’s sake, they are a portrait of modern conflict and an outlet for the servicemen and women of Afghanistan saddled with the judgement of the public. As Sergeant Danny Smith, 40 Commando, Royal Marines, says: “I am proud of the guys we lost, proud of the guys that came back... I like to talk about it, make people interested and maybe make them proud of us.” ❚ War Story: Serving in Afghanistan until Nov, 2012 Imperial War Museum, Lambeth Road, City of London, SE1 6HZ iwm.org.uk Lambeth North
BRITAIN MUST STAY WITHDRAWAL TOO EARLY? Prime minister David Cameron has given assurances the number of British troops in Afghanistan will be drastically cut within one year, despite a warning from the country’s top brass that it risks leaving Helmand province, pictured, unsecured from the Taliban. There are currently 9500 British soldiers in Afghanistan who are likely to be withdrawn ahead of the 2015 deadline imposed by NATO. Two British infantry battalions are now fully committed to training and mentoring the Afghan army, as preparations are underway for the second handover phase of 17 provinces, including parts of Helmand. But Brigadier General Sheren Shah said British influence would still be critical for “many years”, especially to stave off interference from Pakistan. “If the British leave, in my personal opinion, this will have a negative effect on security,” he said.
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Not happy: Simon Katich
KATICH BLAMES CLARKE FOR AXING CRICKET Former Test opener Simon Katich says a 2009 dressing-room spat with Michael Clarke contributed to his being dropped from the Australian side. Katich, 36, was embroiled in an altercation with Clarke following the Sydney Test against South Africa in January 2009, where he reportedly grabbed the new Test skipper by the throat in the dressing room. Katich believes the incident was a key factor behind his dumping from Cricket Australia’s contract list in June. “I think you don’t have to be Einstein to figure out it’s not just the selectors that had a part in sending me on my way, so that’s one of those things,” Katich said. “To be brutally honest what happened in the dressing room here a few years ago probably didn’t help my cause.”
SHARKS SMELL BLOOD AFTER CARNEY SIGNS RUGBY LEAGUE
Troubled NRL star Todd Carney will play for Cronulla next season but Sharks skipper Paul Gallen refuted suggestions the playmaker was unwanted by every other club. Cronulla’s decision to sign Carney, who has been sacked by two other clubs, to a two-year deal has been portrayed as the desperate act of a struggling club. But Gallen is adamant Carney has bought into the Sharks’ belief they can improve after three seasons without finals action. “He wanted to come and play for us, there were reports that there were no offers on the table which were not true,” Gallen said. “Todd wanted to come to us, it wasn’t like he had no one else, and that is a great thing for us as a club.” 46
Is that a leprechaun on your back?: Australia have always been the bigger, stronger side in the International Rules series against Ireland, but it did little to help them in this year’s opening match in Melbourne, where a no-name Australian side was belted 80-36 by the visiting Irish. The second game will be played on the Gold Coast on Friday
SUITORS CHASING SBW AND COOPER RUGBY UNION
Sonny Bill Williams and Quade Cooper are reportedly being shopped around NRL clubs by their manager, Khoder Nasser, who is keen to cash-in on an increase in the league’s salary cap. The NZRU has tabled an offer to Williams’ management and All Blacks coach-in-waiting Steve Hansen left no doubt that he was keen for the utility back to stay put. “He’ll be the best player in the world in a number of positions if he wants to be,” Hansen said. “His value to the All Blacks and New Zealand rugby is immense, so hopefully he stays and that would be great if he does.”
BIG WEEK FOR ... Arsenal captain Robin van Persie has been the shining light for his struggling team in the Premier League so far, scoring crucial goals to keep Arsenal’s head above the water. He’ll be the main man on Tuesday night as well, when Arsenal host Marseille in the Champions League. A win would almost assure Arsenal of going through top of their group.
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QUOTES OF THE WEEK I am sure they have enough money to pay all the lawyers they want to have a good outcome of the story Arsenal manager Arsène Wenger supports Manchester City over Carlos Tevez but also gives them a backhander in passing
Hard to stop: Sam Thaiday on the charge
PREVIEW The Four Nations ramps up at Wembley WALES V NEW ZEALAND SATURDAY 12.30PM, SKY SPORTS 1
ENGLAND V AUSTRALIA SATURDAY 3PM, SKY SPORTS 1 The international rugby league tournament touches down at Wembley and, after the Kiwis presumably hammer Wales, the Aussies will be looking to bloody their hosts’ noses. The astuteness of including a minnow in each edition of the tournament could be tested – Wales have some useful players with Super League experience but, as a team, they’re likely to find themselves
horribly outclassed at this level. Whatever hiding New Zealand dish out is likely to be eclipsed by the one that follows at the hands of Australia. For the second half of the doubleheader, the English pundits will undoubtedly blow plenty of hot air about national pride and taking it up to the Aussies. And England might land a few lucky punches in the early exchanges but, ultimately, it would be a real boilover if Australia lose. Their star-studded line-up will overwhelm England and Darren Lockyer, assuming he’s read the script, should have one last blinder against the old enemy.
THE CHAT | David Haye: still a dickhead
I was probably on the phone talking to selectors around the golf course, and I’m certainly not doing that Ricky Ponting reckons captaincy so consumed him that he couldn’t even finish a round of golf without distractions
I could be the bestlooking guy in the Duma, but that’s only because all the other guys are over 60 Hilarious former tennis player Marat Safin announces his intention to run for federal parliament in Russia
FOOTBALL English boxer, who retired a few weeks Q The ago, has hinted he could fight again. Any coincidence that’s he’s got a book out? on a possible fight against one of the Klitschkos: A Haye “Only time will tell whether the Klitschkos need me more than I need them. They won’t believe that. But it depends what they want out of boxing. If they want guaranteed easy victories then they can do what they’ve always done but if they want a tough challenge you’d think they would want to beat down my door.” Are you kidding? How short are people’s memories? Haye fought Wladimir Klitschko in July and got destroyed, before blaming a sore toe and being laughed out of town. Haye should be hoping people forget all about him.
Arsenal v Marseille The Gunners are going OK in Europe Tuesday 7.45pm, Sky Sports 2
TENNIS Valencia Open One more final as the season winds up Sunday 3pm, Sky Sports 1
FOOTBALL Fulham v Tottenham David Haye: embarrassing
Another weekend, another derby Sunday 3.30pm, Sky Sports 1 TNTMAGAZINE.COM
TNT puts the world to rights
Northbound? It wouldn’t hurt England to have Graham Henry around
No doubt King Henry will show Johnno a thing or two A move north for All Blacks coach would improve England no end
» Agree or disagree? Would Graham Henry transform the English? firstname.lastname@example.org 48
BIG-GAME PRESSURE CAN BE A KILLER Hours before my countrymen crushed the French at Eden Park, I too was taking part in a championship event – the Rock, Paper, Scissors tournament. At the Knight’s Templar pub in London, I could see the hesitation in my opponent’s eyes and smell the fear as he approached for the ultimate throwdown. Psychology plays a massive part when competing on the big stages, and I figured I could outwit him. I was on debut; his experience was not advertised, but he looked like the sort who goes bold early. Mind made up, I listened for the ref’s call and then hit my adversary with what I thought would be deliver the advantage.
I could smell the fear as he approached
He was a wily one, though; he’d obviously done this before. As I looked down at his ‘scissors’ chopping at my ‘paper’, my mind screamed: ‘Where’s his f@#king rock?!’ The hungry wolf had dealt to the cheeky rabbit. Where could I go from here? » What happened next? See tntmagazine.com
Outgoing All Blacks coach Graham Henry was charitable in his media-elicited assessment of under-fire England coach Martin Johnson last week. Henry, due in the UK to coach the Barbarians against Australia on November 26, said “too many people with real ability get shot because of a result” and offered sympathy to Johnson, a one-time New Zealand under-21 representative. Henry made similar remarks when on tour in England with the All Blacks in 2008, describing Johnson as a coach who was “setting high standards and will demand the best out of those around him”. The RFU is vying to be Henry’s next employer (he may be used in a director of coaching role) and Johnson, if he survives having his team running amok and then being eliminated too early from the World Cup, could well take a leaf out of one of the New Zealander’s books – the one on creating a successful culture within a team. Henry’s development of an environment of pride and respect within the All Blacks went a long way to their success in recent years. During the 65-year-old’s tenure, he created a definite leadership group that very clearly dictated the team’s standards, both on and off the field. As such, you’d never see Richie McCaw cavorting with a mystery blonde during a major series (or ever), nor would you see the All Blacks egging on a younger player to jump off a moving ferry. Indeed, two of this year’s All Blacks stars, Piri Weepu and Ma’a Nonu, were absent from the 2007 World Cup due partly to attitude issues and had to prove themselves before re-entering the team environment. Henry’s ethos that “good people make good All Blacks” – hence his encouragement of education and life experience – and his passion for building exceptional team environments and cultures would surely rub off on the English. Maybe then he would be able give Johnson a lesson in exactly what “high standards” are. As for the quality of rugby? One thing at a time – Henry might have won a World Cup, but that doesn’t mean he’s a miracle worker.
COMMENT: JAHN VANNISSELROY
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V Wales v New Zealand KO 1.00pm
V England v Australia KO 3.30pm
WEMBLEY STADIUM SATURDAY 5TH NOVEMBER
Tickets from: £25 adult, £10 conc. Family ticket £55 (2 adults & 2 kids)
BOOK NOW: 0844 856 1113 www.rugbyleaguetickets.co.uk TNTMAGAZINE.COM
The race that stops a nation There’s always been drama around the Melbourne Cup WORDS TOM STURROCK
This week’s Melbourne Cup marks the 150th anniversary of the first race – in the interim, it has grown into one of Australia’s most compelling, widely watched sporting events. On the first Tuesday of each November, Australian homes, schools and offices drop everything for the big race, millions around the country tuning into the action. During its 150 years, the thoroughbred race has developed from modest beginnings to carve out its own unique history, decorated by towering individuals – on two legs and four – more than a hint of scandal and, off course, some generous lashings off trackside glamour.
The early years For the first Melbourne Cup, there was a winner-takes-all prize of 710 gold sovereigns and a hand-beaten watch. In order to attract a bigger crowd, organisers gave away two ladies tickets to every man who bought a pass, on the premise that “where ladies went, men would follow”. So everything changes, while everything stays the same. The first race, though, was a chaotic affair – one horse bolted early and three of the 17 starters fell on their way to the line. Amid the ruckus, an outsider called Archer romped home by six lengths. Pre-race, Archer was unloved by punters, partly because he was from Sydney. In the wake of his victory, though, a story emerged that Archer had walked 800km from his stable south of Sydney. It proved apocryphal – Archer had arrived by steamboat. The following year, Archer trailed by seven lengths early in the race before storming home to win back-to-back Cups. In the end, he won by eight lengths, a record winning margin that stood unchallenged for more than 100 years, until Rain Lover won by a similar stretch in 1968.
The great horses Any discussion of the greatest horses in Australian history 50
inevitably begins with Phar Lap, who was foaled in New Zealand but, like many famous Kiwis, has been shamelessly appropriated by the Aussies. Named after the Thai word for lightning, Phar Lap won 37 of the 51 races he entered in his four-year career, including the 1930 Melbourne Cup, when he was a 11/8 odds-on favourite, the shortest-priced horse in the race’s history. Phar Lap’s preparation was complicated by the fact that gangsters had tried to shoot him a few days earlier, to prevent him from winning at Flemington, meaning he was kept in seclusion to prevent a subsequent attempt on his life. More recently, Makybe Diva became the first horse to win three consecutive Melbourne Cups, from 2003 to 2005. This run of wins helped make the British-born mare the highest stakes-earner in Australasian racing history.
The great men Every year’s Melbourne Cup delivers a life-changing highlight for the winning owner, trainer and jockey. But there are a couple of tall tales that stand out. In 1876, jockey Peter St Albans rode Briseis to victory while still only 12 years old. St Albans’ riding career was curtailed after a racing accident but he became a successful trainer before his untimely death at age 35. Some bizarre folklore about St Albans has since developed – the myth holds that he was an aboriginal foundling, left on the doorstep of a well-known stud farmer so, as a result, no one was sure of his birthday or, therefore, his age. More likely, St Albans was white and of easily identifiable parentage. More recently, trainer Bart Cummings has been indelibly linked with the Melbourne Cup, having won the race 12 times dating back to 1965. Now 83, Cummings started his decorated career working as a strapper for his father, despite being allergic to hay, which might have seemed an obstacle to a lifetime spent around horses.
Clockwise: jockey Gerald Mossie celebrating last year; Americain is the reigning champ; women love a punt too
The scandals Part of horse racing’s appeal lies in the faint whiff of impropriety – or, at least, the suspicion that there may be goings-on behind the scenes – but, given the attempts to present the sport as squeaky clean, you have to go back to 1969 for the most famous Melbourne Cup scandal. Bart Cummings’ horse, Big Philou, had won the Caulfield Cup and was well-backed to take out the Melbourne Cup to complete a rare double. Big Philou was regularly injected with heroin pre-race to calm his nerves but, before the Melbourne Cup, a saboteur dosed the horse with Danthron, a powerful laxative, leading to his scratching 40 minutes before the start of the race. Cummings and his jockey were outraged and, many years later, it emerged that one of Cummings’ strappers had been paid $10,000 to dope Big Philou – he made the admission while dying of cancer but wasn’t sufficiently moved to reveal the identity of whoever paid him.
The trackside action These days, it’s impossible to conceive of the Melbourne Cup without all its attendant glamour and frivolity – the fashions of the field, including unrealistically high heels and fascinators that are, unbelievably, worn without a hint of irony. But this element of the big day is a relatively recent addition – it emerged in the 1960s when the Fashions, Flowers and Favourites celebration was introduced to attract more women to the races. A competition was launched to find the smartest dressed women at the carnival, “within economic constraints”. In 1965, London glamour-puss Jean Shrimpton caused outrage when she showed up in a dress with a hem four inches above her knee and – shock horror – no gloves, hat or stockings. It drew the gaze of the world’s fashion police to Flemington. And the rest is history.
BY THE NUMBERS PUB QUIZ CLASSICS Winning favourites: Of the 150 Melbourne Cups, 34 have been won by the favourites – about 23 per cent. Most wins by a jockey: Bobby Lewis and Harry White share this record, each having won four times. Remarkably, Lewis won four times between 1902 and 1927, while White had a purple patch, winning four times between 1974 and 1979. Record winning time: Kingston Rule, trained by Bart Cummings (above) was the quickest to the line, winning in 3.16 in 1990. Longest odds for winner: Three horses have won after being 100-1 outsiders – The Pearl in 1871, Wotan in 1936 and Old Rowley in 1940. Most attempts: Shadow King made six attempts to win the Melbourne Cup in seven years between 1929 and 1935. But, sadly for a horse that became a crowd favourite, he ran 6th, 3rd, 2nd, 3rd, 2nd and 4th.
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DIWALI DOGS Policemen pose with their dogs in celebration of Tihar in Kathmandu. On Tihar – as the Hindu festival of Diwali is locally known – it is customary in Nepal to offer blessings to dogs. According to Hindu tradition, the animals are messengers of Yamaraj, the god of death.
Photos: Getty, Untravelled Paths, Thinkstock
STILL MAD FOR IT /56
ICY DOES IT /64
HIDDEN HONG KONG /70
We take a tour of ‘Madchester’ musical history’s highlights with Inspiral Carpets drummer Craig Gill.
For the ultimate chill-out break, wrap up warm and brave a night in Romania’s supercool – and refreshingly affordable – Ice Hotel.
In HK, you can have a few holidays in one, thanks to its varied terrain. We try city breaks and country escapes in the ‘Big Smog’. TNTMAGAZINE.COM
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Laura Chubb ACTING TRAVEL EDITOR
I’M WITH STUPID There was outrage in the Daily Mail last week (well, when isn’t there?), this time directed at Machine Guns Vegas, a luxury gun lounge in Sin City that invites tourists to fire weapons under the guidance of ‘stunning gun girls’.
The Mail’s moral compass quivered in horror at an activity it views as “glamourising firearms”. The voice of right-thinking, upstanding Britain also lamented that “trigger-happy tourists” are on the rise, as what it called a “questionable activity” – going to a shooting range – is proving an evermore popular activity when abroad. If Machine Guns Vegas encouraged tourists to open fire on Sin City’s streets, granted, I’d be worried. But over-charging stag parties to fire a few rounds does not exactly strike me as the most morally repugnant activity you can get up to when in Nevada. Plus, there are plenty of shooting ranges in the UK. Perhaps the Mail should storm the halls of moral turpitude on its own soil first. Still, it got me thinking about the completely out of character activities we get up to when on our holidays. I’m not exactly a guntoting gal, but I did enjoy firing an AK47 when in Vietnam. (Not at a cow, I hasten to add. That is wrong.) Mountain-biking down a dodgy dirt track giving way to sheer, 4000ft drops in Bolivia, and hitching a ride home on a stranger’s moped in Kerala, India, are also particularly reckless examples of the risks we often take when abroad. And it’s not a case of immaturity – think of the over 50s who, we reported last week, go bungee jumping when away from the rigours of home life. Opening up to new experiences when travelling is good. Being an idiot is not. This is something we could all do well to remember!
DAY OF THE DEAD Oaxaca, Mexico Probably the most fun festival about death that you’ll ever attend, this celebratory carnival – in aid of remembering the dearly departed – fills 1-2 the Mexican city’s streets with ghoulish fancy dress costumes and papier-mâché skeletons. Funfair rides and stalls selling crucifix-shaped waffles complete the off-kilter take on a sombre theme. NOV
WHY: Mexicans believe their dead linger in a spiritual waiting room, the Mictlan, allowing them to revisit their homes at this time of year. As a result, local women spend the day cooking the favourite food of the deceased, eaten at a family feast during which the invisible guest is honoured and toasted.
DO IT BECAUSE: From the flamboyant costumes to the tasty snacks – try the skulls made of marzipan – this is a fascinating insight into a truly unique facet of Mexican culture. Families clean and decorate graves, enjoy picnics and dance to mariachi bands, celebrating life as much as mourning death.
TAR BARREL CARRYING FESTIVAL
HAMBURG DOM Hamburg, Germany
CANOE AND KUNDU Alotau, Papua New Guinea
Beer! Fairground rides! More beer! The Germans 4 know how to do a festival, so why change the formula? The merrymaking lasts for a month. NOV
Canoes and kundu drums play an important part in 4 this country’s ancient rituals. The event climaxes with a canoe race. NOV
The city on the shores of Lake Titicaca hosts this 1-7 devilishly good party every year, wherein the local men dress as demons and dance around a fellow local in full-on Dark Lord costume. Again, everyone has forgotten exactly why the people of Puno come out and shake their horns at this time of year, but one version reckons it is to celebrate the departure of conquistadors in the late 19th century. NOV
No one really knows why anymore – theories tend to 5 involve vague murmurings about Pagan rituals – but every Bonfire night, the people of Ottery St Mary in Devon set tar barrels on fire and carry them around. Once one person has had enough, they pass the burning barrel to the next person, and so on until ... well, they just stop. NOV
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SLEEP TO SCOTLAND Forget the expensive train trip from London to Scotland – Britain’s first ever budget sleeper bus is now running from London to Glasgow, with fares starting at just £1. And it seems the new service is a bit swisher than the sleeper buses you have no doubt got absolutely no sleep on across South-East Asia and South America. The Stagecoach vehicles give passengers their own berth, complete with reading light, curtains, duvet, pillow and blanket. You even get an overnight pack with toothbrush, toothpaste, eye mask and a bottle of water. OK, it might take eight hours, but the free wi-fi should help if you’re not sleepy.
BE A GUIDE IN NYC A Swedish tourist is planning to spend 24 hours roaming New York this week, guided by advice and tips from those who tune into his live broadcast. Hans Eriksson will publicise his adventure live online from his mobile phone, and is asking viewers to choose his route as he goes. Eriksson starts his mini-odyssey at 9am on November 1. Want to guide him? See bambuserchallenge.tumblr.com. And if you feel like picking a path for yet another traveller, check out indianajune.com. The Kiwi, who is cycling the world, lets her readers choose her route.
CALL HER MS VAIN A quarter of women under 30 admit it takes between five and 10 attempts to get their passport photo snapped. In a survey of almost 800 people in the UK, it was found while men have little trouble choosing a new passport picture, women tend to spend long periods in the booth to get the perfect shot. Just 9 per cent of all men polled needed to make three or more attempts at the all-important picture, while 23 per cent of all women did the same. The most vain men were aged between 31 and 49; 20 per cent took between three and five attempts.
RYANAIR EVERYWHERE It seems Ryanair is gearing up to take over the world. Undeterred by reports claiming one of its aircraft was forced to land after sticky tape used to fix the pilot’s window came loose, chief executive Michael O’Leary told the Financial Times he plans to make the budget operator one of the biggest airlines in the world, with new routes planned for Scandanavia, Poland, Hungary and the Czech Republic. His strategy would see passenger numbers soar to 120 million in the next decade. Good news for budget travellers – and sticky tape firms.
Beetham Tower: with 16 penthouse apartments, it’s Europe’s tallest residential building
EAT, DRINK, SLEEP Manchester
ENGLAND WALES LONDON
GETTING THERE Virgin trains (virgintrains. co.uk) travel from London Euston to Manchester in about 2hrs 10mins. Advance tickets cost from £11.50 each way.
Victorian period pub Mr Thomas’s Chop House does old-school British favourites, including Didsbury-bangers and mash, for about a tenner. (tomschophouse.com) Try fancy ciabattas and upmarket salads for about £5 in Trof.There are branches in town as well as in the heart of student party land. (trof.co.uk) A pint of bitter at the Circus Tavern on Portland Street, which claims to be “the smallest bar in Europe, with the biggest welcome in the world”, is well worth £3.60. Look down on this great city through floor-to-ceiling windows at Cloud 23, in the 47-storey Beetham Tower. Try out the signature cocktails, or you can even go really posh with High Tea. (cloud23bar.com)
The Free Trade Hall’s façade
Craig Gill outside the former Factory Records HQ 56
Cool rooms (each comes with an Apple iMac); warm staff: Mint Hotel is bang in the centre of town with doubles from £79pn. (minthotel.com) In the famously bohemian Northern Quarter, Hatters Hostel on Newton Street has dorm beds from £15pppn. The staff will throw in some valuable local knowledge for free – if you ask nicely. (hattersgroup.com)
Still mad for it We take a tour of ‘Madchester’ musical history with Inspiral Carpets drummer Craig Gill
Photos: Marketing Manchester, Getty, Simon Cole
WORDS SIMON COLE
It might be two decades since the ‘Madchester’ movement changed British music – with trailblazing bands such as The Smiths, New Order and the Happy Mondays emerging from the city’s working-class streets – but the unofficial capital of the North is still home to some of the best in British alternative pop culture. “Cheers pal, see ya later,” says the train guard as I arrive at Manchester’s Piccadilly station. Chatty locals are noticeably friendlier here than their capital counterparts, and it’s this down-to-earth cheeky charm paired with a pioneering creativity that gave rise to the world-famous Haçienda nightclub and the Nineties ‘baggy’ scene. Immortalised in Michael Winterbottom’s film, 24-Hour Party People, bands including Inspiral Carpets and the Stone Roses revolutionised guitar music, while the Haçienda – largely financed by Factory Records, in turn kept afloat by sales from New Order – popularised acid house and rave. So it’s appropriate that I’m hooking up with Craig Gill, the Inspiral Carpets drummer who has launched his own music tour of the city that also gave us Joy Division, The Fall, and Oasis. Gill knows them all: his band turned down the infamously arrogant Noel Gallagher as a singer – instead offering him a job as roadie. “Then he broke his leg the day before our tour so it was us that had to carry him around!” Gill laughs. Manchester was at the forefront of the Industrial Revolution and came to be considered the centre of capitalism in the late 19th century. As a result, the city centre is dominated by impressive buildings dating back to this time, which seem to me to speak of money and power. One such building is the Free Trade Hall in Peter Street, of which only the façade now remains. It may have been built in the 1850s, but it too can claim a place in rock ‘n’ roll history. The Sex Pistols’ gig here in ‘76 has passed into punk folklore, inspiring a generation of Mancunian musos – including The Buzzcocks – to pick up a guitar. Bob Dylan and Pink Floyd also played here in the Sixties. The Haçienda nightclub led the dance music revolution with its acid house nights, but, criminally, it’s now an apartment block. By a memorial, Gill tells tall tales – many not legally printable – of the excesses that eventually broke the unconventional Factory Records label.
However, the ‘Madchester’ legacy continues at FAC251, the former-Factory-HQ-turned-club, where Gill DJs. (Happy Mondays frontman Shaun Ryder will also play here in November.) “It’s still a great night out in this city,” Gill says. And it has to be: this is the largest student campus in Europe, with 50,000-plus students packing the pubs and clubs. Gill recommends clubs Sound Control and Deaf Institute on Oxford Road for gigs. “And in the Northern Quarter, Band on the Wall is great if you like world music,” he adds. “The pubs around Oldham Street all have their own music rooms too – it’s like a little Memphis up there.”
The Haçienda is now an apartment block
It’s not all shabby student chic though: Manchester United’s Wayne Rooney lives in the Dubai-style Beetham Tower – the tallest residential building in Europe, boasting 16 penthouse apartments – while the Cheshire set keep designer bars in business around Deansgate Locks. I wish Gill the best for the Inspirals’ new material and stop off for a 90p beer in the city’s popular Gay Village, which attracts 20,000 revellers every weekend. I’m then meant to be heading for Cloud 23, a flash lounge bar frequented by one Mr Rooney, but instead I find myself waylaid in an earthier establishment. The walls of the Circus Tavern – self-styled as “Europe’s smallest bar” – are covered in Manc-oriented sporting memorabilia. Before I can check them out, regulars haul me behind the bar to pose for photos. “You don’t need NEXT WEEK a guidebook round here mate, you just ask!” cries one. Glasgow’s Sometimes cheeky, always up Hollywood glamour for a laugh; that’s Manchester. More on Craig Gill’s Manchester music tour at
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Spend 14 nights in Goa for £495 with Cosmos
DEAL OF THE WEEK ZAMBIA TO ZANZIBAR
A 15-day tour from Zambia to Zanzibar with STA Travel (0800 8199339; statravel.co.uk). Visiting Malawi, Tanzania and Zambia. Departs on November 6 from Zambia. Excludes flights.
NEW YORK A three-night trip to New York is £490pp with lowcostholidays.com (0844 3722399). Includes three-star, B&B accommodation and flights. Departs January 23. ROMANIA A three-night tour to Transylvania, Brasov and Romania’s chilly Ice Hotel (for more, turn to P64-66) is £329pp (save 15 per cent) with Untravelled Paths (0871 662 9521; untravelledpaths.com) if booked before November 6 with the promotional code COOLDISCOUNT. Includes accommodation, transfers and guide. Excludes flights. Valid for travel from December 25. GOA A 14-night trip to Goa is £495pp with Cosmos (0844 5734261; cosmos.co.uk). Includes return flights and 14 nights’ B&B accommodation, based on a twin share. Departs November 10.
> £500 AFRICA A 38-day overland trip from Nairobi to Malawi is £840pp, plus US$465 local payment, with Oasis Overland (01963 363400; oasisoverland.co.uk). FREE gorilla trekking permit (worth £375) for the first two TNT readers booking for December 19 departure (or booking the Grand Adventurer trip, see tntmagazine.com/travel/latedeals). Includes all transport by overland truck, accommodation, some meals and more. Excludes flights. TURKEY A nine-day Remembrance Day tour of Turkey is £519pp (save £130) with On the Go (020 7371 1113; onthegotours.com). Includes Istanbul, Cappadocia and Anzac Cove. Excludes flights. Departs November 5. USA A 13-day Southern Adventure tour is £999pp (save £250) with Contiki (0845 0750990; contiki. com). Includes accommodation. Excludes flights. Departs November 17.
DAILY TRAVEL DEALS GO TO tntmagazine.com/travel/latedeals where new travel deals are updated daily. There are more than 30 deals live at any time. Also sign up for TNT’s weekly travel newsletter, which will be emailed to you every Wednesday with the most up-to-date deals and guides to over 170 destinations. Sign up at tntmagazine.com/travelemail.
FLIGHTS 23 WELLINGTON RD. LONDON, NW8 9SL ST JOHN’S WOOD
TRAVEL INSURANCE £7 Accra Auckland Bangkok Bogata Bombay/Delhi Cairo Cape Town Caribbean Chicago Dubai Harare Havana Hong Kong Jo’Burg Kinshasa Lagos Las Vegas Los Angeles Manila Malaysia Miami New York Nairobi Rio Santiago Shanghai Sydney Tokyo
£110 £360 £160 £390 £145 £95 £195 £310 £125 £125 £295 £295 £175 £140 £190 £155 £275 £275 £220 £220 £180 £110 £115 £195 £435 £170 £370 £299
Excluding all taxes & subject to availability
CHRISTMAS SPECIALS, PLEASE CALL
avel CLASSIC Trra
020 7586 1234 www.goclassic.co.uk
MOROCCO An eight-day tour is £239pp (save 50 per cent) with Travel Talk (0208 0998852; traveltalktours.com). Includes accommodation, some meals, and guides. Visiting Sahara, Agadir, Marrakech and more. Excludes flights. Departs December 25. Book by November 30. EDINBURGH A three-day tour is £179pp with Anderson Tours (020 74369304; andersontours.co.uk). Includes return train travel, two nights’ B&B accommodation, and sightseeing with a local guide. Departs November 4. EGYPT A nine-day tour is £275pp (save 40 per cent) with Travel Talk (0208 0998852; traveltalktours. com). Includes accommodation, transfers, some meals, and guides. Visiting Cairo, Pyramids, Luxor and more. Departs November 5, 12 and 19. Excludes flights. Book by November 15. PARIS A three-night trip to Paris is £125pp with easyJet Holidays (0843 1041000; easyJet.com/ holidays). Includes two nights’ B&B accommodation and flights. Departs December 5. TURKEY A two-day Anzac tour is £84pp (save 15 per cent) with Travel Talk (0208 099 8852; traveltalktours.com). Includes coach transport and guide. Excludes flights. Departs April 24 2012. Book by November 15.
£250 – £500
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Talks travel photography
HOT TIPS: Getting punch When manipulating the colours of your images, you must keep in mind that it will change the whole feel of the shot. Whether you want to oversaturate the colours to make them stand out, or add a colour wash, keep in mind that often the photograph will look digitally enhanced. It is hard to get these effects without playing
around in someway after the shot has been taken. You can always indulge (I say ‘indulge’ as it will be more expensive) in some film – as opposed to digital – photography that will give you all sorts of effects in-camera. Trendy photo cults such as Lomo Photography aim to create burnt-in edges and distorted colours.
WINNER POPPY Eva Ferencz, Hungary
WHY IT WORKS What amazing colours – so deep and bold, each shade complementing the next. Having nearly the whole head of the flower in focus allows us to really appreciate its detail. I didn’t even realise poppy flowers came in these exotic shades. If you had said ‘poppy’ to me, I would have thought of the red kind which represent Remembrance Day – it’s funny how we grow up with one image of something in our minds.
RUNNER-UP ORANGE CONGA LINE Belinda So, Sydney, Australia
WHY IT WORKS The off-centre positioning of the conga line gives the illusion that it goes on forever. Being so close to the subjects has made for a more intimate approach to this Queen’s Day Celebration. Not setting this image up and asking people to smile has produced a one-off image. A THREE-DAY TOUR OF SCOTLAND AND A PHOTOGRAPHY COURSE Upload your images to tntmagazine.com/hotshots First prize is a three-day tour of Scotland for two worth £218 from Haggis Adventures (haggisadventures.com). Must be taken within three months of receiving prize letter. The runner-up wins a £60 photography course voucher from Nigel Wilson Photography (photographycourses.org.uk).
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Party on the rooftop
HAYARKON 48 OVERVIEW This
is the place to stay when you visit Tel Aviv, Israel. Hayarkon 48 was opened in 1998 by two cousins who had travelled extensively and knew what young adventurers needed in a hostel: cheap, simple, and clean. It is only two minutes from the beach, a 20-minute walk from Old Jaffa and five minutes from the famous Carmel Market. Close by is a variety of supermarkets, bakeries and shopping centres and Allenby Street – the city’s buzzing night-life area. WOW FACTOR Beers here are cheaper than in the bars (and some of the supermarkets) so drink up before you head out. The hostel is only a block from the beach so sun bathing has never been so convenient. But its real strength is the staff. All are friendly, knowledgable young travellers who know the best spots to party, have fun and explore. ROOMS It’s an extremely clean place which offers both private and dorm rooms and also has a fully equipped kitchen. There’s also a comfortable lounge with a widescreen TV and a free pool table, 24-hour reception, no curfew, free wi-fi and showers with hot water 24 hours a day. BILL PLEASE One night in a dorm is £17; £20 for a dorm with air con. It’s £68 for a private room. Discounts for extended stays available on request. 48 Hayarkon St, Tel-Aviv, Israel hayarkon48.com
The homeland of the original Prince Vlad III (or Vlad the Impaler), Dracula’s home province is rich in creepy castles and blood-soaked myths: perfect for Halloween holidaymakers. While Bram Stoker, Dracula’s author, has painted Romania’s largest region as a dark, foreboding place of mountains, cob-webbed castles and sallow-faced nobles with sharp teeth, it’s actually quite the daylight destination. But that doesn’t mean it’s without its smattering of scary locales, the kind of places in which you’d expect to find a menacing menagerie of wolves, bears and bats. Bistritza, name-checked by Stoker, is one of them. So is the Saxon fortress town of Sighisoara, the birthplace of the 15th count himself, whose deeds were even more dastardly than those of the infamous vampire. Sighisoara is an essential stop on any tour of Transylvania, with a muchphotographed plaque referring to the father of Vlad the Impaler, which reads enticingly “Vlad Dracul”. Hire a car and visit ‘Dracula’s Castle’ – or Bran Castle – close to the city
of Brasov. Complete with a museum offering Dracula mugs, T-shirts and tea cloths, Prince Vlad himself stayed here for a few nights. The Transylvanian Society of Dracula runs a tour following in the footsteps of the villain, and includes spending Halloween in the castle. There are plenty of other creepy castles where you might imagine the old count flapping his cape and laughing in suitably sinister fashion. This includes the Poenari Castle ruins in Wallachia, where Vlad lived. He turned the former citadel of the Basarab rulers into his own fortress, perched high on a steep precipice. After his death, the castle fell into ruin, but it is still standing in part, and said to be one of the most haunted places in the world. You need to climb 1500 steps to get there. Up the spook factor on your trip by staying at the Dracula Castle Hotel in the town of Turda, complete with stone grotto bathrooms and a medieval banqueting hall. romaniatourism.com
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There’s no place in the US spookier than Salem, which is forever branded with the hysteria surrounding the great witchcraft trials of 1692. Throughout the month of October, this fabled town celebrates its macabre past, in which scores of villagers were sentenced to death by hanging. Choose from ghostly walking tours, haunted house visits, street fairs, trial reenactments, spooky theatre, seances, carnivals and zombie parades. hauntedhappenings.org
Photos: undergroundedinburgh.com, Thinkstock
A cavernous forest at the foothills of Mount Fuji, locals claim this ‘Sea of Sad Trees’ hosts paranormal phenomena. Though it offers breathtaking views of the mountain, it is also the world’s second most popular suicide spot after San Francisco’s Golden Gate Bridge. In fact, there are a host of unofficial trails marked in the area for the annual ‘body hunt’ conducted by brave local volunteers. It’s not unusual to find scattered bones or incomplete skeletons in its depths. japan-guide.com
Be sure to wrap up warm to stave off the chills when you visit the ruined home of Gilles de Rais (1404–1440) in the Loire Valley. Here, the man who inspired the tale of Bluebeard, killed hundreds of children – first raping them, then cutting open their stomachs to admire their organs – and stuffed their dead bodies in the walls, dropped them down chimneys, and buried them around the site. Nice. loireatlantique.co.uk
Don’t be surprised if you see a few amorphous blobs floating past you as you delve into the Scottish capital’s legendary underground. They are the reputed ghosts of the hundreds of people believed to have lived, as well as died, in the sub-city vaults of Edinburgh – otherwise known as ‘The City of The Dead’ – between 1788 and the early 19th century. Get a sense of their utter misery by taking a haunted walking tour, or check out the undeniably spooky Mary King’s Close.
NEXT WEEK Train rides: The very best choochoos with a view
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Spot tarsiers in Bohol, the Philippines
YOU ASKED FOR IT... LAURA LINDSAY FROM LONELY PLANET
heading to Boracay Island in the Q I’m Philippines next January for a wedding. Are there any must-dos in Boracay, or any of the other nearby islands? Cat, via email is a great place to start – the A Boracay island boasts stunning beaches, water
was thinking of going to India for Q INew Year’s Eve, but can’t afford the flight. Where would be a good place to go if you are on a budget but still want some sun and a good atmosphere? Kate, via email reality is that you will need to spend a A The reasonable amount to ensure sunshine at this time of year, as to escape Europe’s wintry chills you’ll need to spend more than a few hours on a plane. You could check out Egypt’s Red Sea coast, where it will be pleasantly warm and there are accommodation options to suit every budget. Dahab is popular with backpackers and will have a lively party scene for the festivities. Alternatively, Pacha in Sharm El Sheikh hosts a New Year’s Eve party every year (pachasharm. com). You can find budget package deals to the Red Sea coast or, alternatively, easyJet flies to Sharm El Sheikh from Luton and Gatwick. If it’s just sun you’re after, you will find the Canary Islands a popular choice, as there are some cheap deals available. Thomas Cook (thomascook.com) offers a week’s self-catering in Tenerife for less than £500 (including flights and accommodation) departing on December 30. Alternatively, if weather is less of a priority, Mallorca is a great spot for New Year’s Eve as Palma is home to Festa de l’Estendard. The festival commemorates King Jaume I’s conquest of Palma and coincides with New Year. Expect street parades, music and dancing.
NOT-SO-BARGAIN BUYS TIP Although it is great to nab OF THE bargain buys from street WEEK traders selling anything from footwear to handbags to leather belts, be very careful when buying something with a designer label that you know has to be counterfeit at the price it is being sold. Many countries policing this trade are targeting the purchaser (a tourist) and not the seller. Hefty fines are being levied and would certainly spoil a holiday. Rather, purchase non-branded goods from street traders, as the quality of counterfeits is often doubtful anyway. Ross S, via email BUDGET GALAPAGOS? Book a last-minute trip to the Galapagos Islands while in Ecuador to save money on visiting this notoriously expensive destination. It still won’t be cheap, but I ended up paying US$1200 (£750) for a five-day, five-star cruise when I did this in Guayaquil – US$600 (£375) below the asking price. Make sure you’re ready to go at the drop of a hat. Try to see a picture of your cabin before committing, too! Elizabeth, via text
WIN Send us your words of wisdom. The top Tip of the Week published wins a fiver. Tweet your tip to @tntmagazine.com Email email@example.com Text TNT and your message to 81707* *Messages cost 25p each + standard network rate. 18+ billpayers only. Send STOP to end. Number may show on bill. A2B 08700460138
A LONELY PLANET GUIDE
Lonely Planet’s Laura Lindsay will give you the benefit of her infinite wisdom if you email a question to firstname.lastname@example.org. If your question is answered, you’ll win a Lonely Planet guide of your choice. This is a reader forum — TNT and Lonely Planet accepts no responsibility for any loss, injury or inconvenience sustained by anyone using the information provided.
sports and lively nightlife. You can easily fill a couple of days sampling Boracay’s selection of beaches. White Beach is the centre of the action. Bulabog is a good spot for kiteboarders and windsurfers as there will be a steady onshore wind at this time of year. I would recommend making the most of the incredible diving opportunities here, too. There are some well established dive venues at White Beach. Calypso Diving Resort (calypso-boracay. com) offers beginners courses, starting at about £60 to join a scheduled class. Boracay is one of the more touristy islands in the country, so if you would like to see a different side to the Philippines, take a short (and cheap) flight across to Bohol. Cebu Pacific flies from Boracay to Bohol via Manila (cebupacificair. com). In Bohol, visit the Chocolate Hills and try to spot the tarsiers (a cute monkey-like creature). As you are visiting in January, you might like to check out Ati-Atihan Festival, which takes place in Kalibo on the island of Panay. This is a week-long street party, and the biggest celebration is on the third Sunday in January. However, hotel prices will rocket and you will need to book ahead.
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WHERE IN THE WORLD?
A TRIP FOR TWO TO BATH & STONEHENGE
Been somewhere good lately? Send us a horizontal photo of yourself with a copy of TNT from anywhere around the world and, if we print it, you’ll win a trip for two to Bath and Stonehenge with Anderson Tours, valued at £104! » Email your pictures to ontheroad@ tntmagazine.com along with your name, where you’re from and where the photo was taken, or see tntmagazine.com/world. Files must be at least 500Kb.
PARC GUELL, BARCELONA Katerina Svagrovska from Czech Republic
BEST / WORST TRIP
LEAH WEEKS, 29
GARY POWER, 30
Belfast, Northern Ireland
BEST I went to Russia for Christmas and New Year, but ended up spending Christmas Day in the airport because our flight was delayed! New Year’s Eve in Red Square was amazing, though. We partied all night and drank lots of vodka. It was surreal, though, because there was more security around than locals. WORST When I went to Gothenburg last weekend, I was totally unprepared. No one had done any planning, so we couldn’t find much to do. It was boring, really.
Most memorable travel experience? Goa. I’d just expected a crazy party scene, so I was surprised at what a paradise it was. Worst trip abroad? Spending four-and-a-half days on a Greyhound bus going from Memphis to San Francisco. That was a nightmare. A homeless guy sitting beside me had a gun! Who would be your ideal travel partner? Johnny Cash. He’d have a few stories to tell. And he could bring his guitar and sing to me, so I wouldn’t need my iPod on our travels.
» Tell us your best/worst trips, email laura.chubb@ tntmagazine.com
Photos: Andrew Halsall; Aurora Expeditions; TNT
AN ARCTIC VOYAGE Sail the Antarctic Pensinsula and, if you can stop shivering, try scuba diving, kayaking, camping and ice climbing. A ‘Fly & Sail’ voyage with Aurora Expeditions is US$6365pp, but you can save 10 per cent if you book before December 31. Includes flights and a cabin on an eight-day cruise. (+61 2 9252 1033; auroraexpeditions.com.au).
ANDY BATEMAN, Director, Mountain Innovations
My first ever big trip was to the western Himalayas of Kashmir. It blew open my horizons. My most challenging travel experience was a solo hike up to Nanga Parbat Base Camp in Pakistan, just below a 16,000ft face – the most awesome of natural arenas. Weak with ‘Delhi Belly’, I started out late, made a navigational error, and only just made it before dusk. My favourite place in the world is Hunza in northern Pakistan: snow-covered peaks descending to verdant poplar trees, apricot orchards and corn fields. It probably has the strongest claim to being the original Shangri La. The next trip on my travel wishlist is Chiapas in southern Mexico and the Sumidero Canyon. My top travel tip is to spend some time travelling under your own power – whether on foot, bike, or whatever – to properly experience the landscape. TNTMAGAZINE.COM
Blend: the hotel is part of the landscape
Lake Balea ROMANIA
ROMANIA Lake Balea
GETTING GETTINGTHERE THERE Xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx Wizz Air flies direct to Bucharest from London Luton (3hrs 5mins) from ÂŁ84 return (wizzair.com).
The writer snuggles for warmth 64
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Icy does it For the ultimate chill-out break, wrap up warm and brave a night in Romania’s super-cool – and refreshingly affordable – Ice Hotel WORDS JANINE KELSO
The highway zig-zags and the cars become fewer and far between as we drive higher into Romania’s Fagaras Mountains, along part of what the Top Gear crew dubbed “the best road in the world” thanks to its eye-popping scenery, sharp descents and nerve-jangling hairpin bends. The towering trees that flank the Transfagarasan road drip with mistletoe, while the snow-peaked mountains provide the dramatic backdrop. As we drive deeper into the wilderness, we spy rosycheeked farmers in cold-proof sheepskin coats and big hats herding sheep, while purveyors of giant chunks of cheese stand shivering at the side of the road. Having already visited Romania’s top tourist draws – the medieval town of Brasov and Bran castle (Dracula’s castle) – we’re now on our way to one of Romania’s lesser-known attractions, its Ice Hotel, where my other half and I are to spend the night. Set at more than 2000m above sea level and only reachable by cable car, our digs are gloriously remote and the journey there is all part of the adventure. Once in the cable car, we marvel at the epic scenery: dense pine forests and snowy peaks. When we reach the top of the mountain, we step outside and find ourselves in the midst of an epic gorge, a thick band of cloud floating below us. Spread out in front of us is the Balea Lake, alongside which is the magnificent Ice Hotel, a glowing giant igloo which blends smoothly into the wild alpine landscape as if it grew up out of the snow. Rebuilt every year when winter comes and the Balea Lake freezes, locals create the ice hotel using age-old techniques, dragging frozen blocks of ice from the lake and hand-carving everything from the ceiling to the hotel’s pretty sculptures. The Ice Hotel has a fairytale, Narnia-like feel to it and I almost expect elves to scurry out from one of the rooms. Every one of the hotel’s 14 hand-carved rooms is unique: ours houses an ice sculpture of a man reclining on a step. The chambers are magically illuminated by pink and blue twinkly lights, and in the high-ceilinged foyer, a naked ice couple welcome guests. Our guide, Radu, tells us that a similar sculpture was created for the previous year’s hotel and the man’s nether regions shrunk to nothing by the end of the season after being continually groped by visitors. Romania’s chilly pad doesn’t have the luxury feel of its Scandinavian counterparts (read: no hot tubs in which to
defrost), but it doesn’t have the costly price tag, either. Plus it was built in a bid to bring tourism to what is a poor area. It might be billed the world’s most affordable ice hotel, but not much has been compromised. There’s an ice church where couples can tie the knot and there’s a slew of high-octane activities on offer, including ice-skating and snowmobiling on the frozen lake, sledding, off piste skiing and ice-sculpting. As night falls, we settle ourselves at a table (also made of ice) where we’re served up a swish dinner. By now, my
This is not quite the right setting for lust
teeth are chattering and I’m nervous as hell about spending the night in such a frosty room, set at a toasty -2ºC. How on ›› Earth am I going to sleep?
Remote: the Ice Hotel is reached by cable car TNTMAGAZINE.COM
After dinner, we check out the hotel’s ice bar and enjoy a few vodka shots in a bid to knock us out at bedtime. Then we retire to our cool chamber, where an icy fireplace creates the illusion of cosiness. Cocooned within our icy freezer, we might look romantic and snug to an outsider, but this is not quite the right setting for a lust-filled weekend. Swaddled in our arctic sleeping bags, there’s just a narrow mattress and a swathe of animal skins separating us from our bed of ice. My boyfriend and I are togged up to the max, wearing almost every item in our suitcase: hats, scarves, thermals, gloves, jackets, socks and jeans. Once ensconced in the sleeping bag, I’m surprisingly snug and quickly drift off to sleep, and don’t awake until dawn. Surviving a night in one of the world’s chilliest hotels turns out to be an experience of a lifetime – just be prepared for a frosty reception. ❚ Janine Kelso travelled to Romania with Untravelled Paths. A threenight trip is €445pp (about £387) and a four-night trip is €495pp (about £430), including airport transfers, accommodation (including one night at the Ice Hotel), entry to Dracula’s Castle and Rasnov Fortress, a VIP cable car pass and a bilingual rep. untravelledpaths.com
The famous ‘world’s best road’
NEXT WEEK Clean-living vs city of sin: the many faces of Hamburg
Popular with Bucharestians is the affordable Blanduziei, where top dishes include ciorba de perisoare – meatball soup with sour cream and dill. (Str. Academiei 2, Bucharest)
When in the medieval town of Brasov, check out Sergiana, where waiting staff in traditional Romanian costumes serve up warming fare, including polenta, soup and wild boar. It might sound like a tourist trap, but it’s actually full of locals. (sergianagrup.ro)
Feast on traditional dishes such as sarmale (mincemeat and rice wrapped in cabbage leaves) at Amsterdam Cafe. If you’ve had your fill of Romanian food, this eatery serves up Dutch cuisine too. (Str Covaci 6 Historic Quarter; tel: 00 40 21 313 7580)
Discover stupidly cheap drinks at Revenge, a pub and club in the super-cool Lipseani part of Bucharest. Music varies from reggae to hip hop to disco. (revenge.ro)
Join the capital’s hipsters at In Vino Veritas, a trendy wine bar decked out like a medieval castle. (Lipscani 45/Blanari 21, Historic Centre; tell: 00 40 7520 10000)
The bling-tastic Eleven champagne bar and lounge is a whirl of mirror balls and edgy wall projections. The bar of choice for Bucharest’s in-crowd, don’t leave without visiting the loo where you’ll find images of swimming fish at your feet and the soothing sounds of running water. (eleven.com.ro)
The award-winning Hostel Tina in Odobesti 2B Street, Bucharest, is known for its homely atmosphere and fit-for-a-king breakfasts. Private rooms from £22.42, based on two sharing. (hostelbookers.com)
In the heart of the capital’s hip Lipscani district is The Rembrandt, a stylish boutique hotel. Rooms have DVD and CD players. Double rooms from £78pn. (rembrandt.ro)
Set near Cismigiu Park in Bucharest, the all-suite Hotel Epoque offers plush accommodation within walking distance of the Royal Palace and the Bucharest Opera House. Double rooms from £82pn. (hotelepoque.ro)
Photos: Untravelled Paths, Thinkstock, TNT
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Citizen Dane This is Copenhagen in 48 hours WORDS ALISON GRINTER
DAY 1: 08:00 Get up lazy bones! There’s lots to see and do. Hopefully you’ve had a restful night at the centrally located Dan Hostel (danhostel.dk/copenhagencity), which comes off more like a designer hotel. Their buffet breakfast is pretty good too and will set you up for the morning. 09:00 Head for the picturesque Amalienborg Slot (slotte. dk). Made up of four 18th-century palaces surrounding a large cobbled square, it has been home to the Danish royal family since 1794. The changing of the guard takes place here every day at noon. Also well worth a look is the Amalienborg Museum (dkks.dk), which recreates various royal rooms through the ages. 11:30 Head north along the waterfront to see the Little Mermaid. A gift from Carl Jacobsen (founder of Carlsberg Breweries) to Copenhagen in 1913, the bronze beauty has been decapitated twice, blasted with dynamite, draped in burqas, had bras drawn on her – but she’s still here! 12.00 Take a stroll to the nearby Kastellet (kastellet.info). The star-shaped fortress dates back to1662 and is one of the best preserved citadels in all of Northern Europe. It’s now a scenic public park where the Royal Ballet performs for free every summer. 13:00 Stop off for lunch at Bistroen KBH (bistroen-kbh. dk) for some tasty yet affordable French/Scandinavian fusion food (quite a common mash-up in Copenhagen). 14.30 Work off lunch with a 105m climb up the Jens Olsen’s Clock on top of City Hall. Designed by Danish astromechanic Jens Olsen, it displays not only the local time, but also solar time, sidereal time (astronomers use it to keep 68
track of the direction to point their telescopes), sunrises and sunsets, planet revolutions and the Gregorian calendar. 16:00 Take a walk through the beautiful Botanical Gardens (botanik.snm.ku.dk), the largest collection of living plants in Denmark. 18:00 Treat yourself to dinner at on-trend basement restaurant Numero 64 (cofoco.dk/numero64_ restauranten.php), offering locally sourced dishes such as smoked eel, lobsters with gooseberries and pike perch with rye bread. The award-winning restaurant also aims to serve ambitious cuisine at affordable prices. Win win. 20:00 Catch the tube to Tivoli (tivoli.dk). More than just an amusement park, this world-famous tourist trap comes alive after dark with ballet at the historic Pantomime Theatre, classical concerts in the Concert Hall, and rock concerts most Friday nights. Even if you aren’t planning a cultural excursion it’s lovely just to walk through and soak up the romantic fairytale atmosphere. 22:00 When Tivoli turns off its lights head out to one of Copenhagen’s stylish bars in the meat-packing district. Designed by local and international artists including Olafur Eliasson, Karriere (karrierebar.com) easily fits the bill. Its menu of bespoke cocktails, including the Alice in Wonderland-themed Follow That Black Rabbit, is legendary. DAY 2: 09:00 After a boozy night you’ll be wanting a healthy breakfast at antipodean-run Bio Mio (biomio.dk), serving organic, free-range produce. 10:00 Talk about hair of the dog – beer lovers will enjoy a visit to Carlsberg Brewery (visitcarlsberg.dk), founded
Check out the Amalienborg Slot’s four 18th-century palaces
by Carl Jacobsen in 1801. The visitor centre offers an entertaining journey through the beer-making process. 11:00 Head back to central Copenhagen to see Danish design showcased at the inspiring, eclectic Kunstindustrimuseet (designmuseum.dk). 13:00 Stop for lunch at Nyhavns Færgekro (nyhavnsfaergekro.dk). This popular spot has an allyou-can-eat buffet with 10 different kinds of herring, condiments and boiled potatoes for 89Kr (about £10). 14:00 Cross Torvegade Bridge on foot to visit the charming canal quarter of Christianshavn. Established by Christian IV in the early 17th century, it was modelled on Holland’s waterways. These days the area is infamous as the home of the ‘free state’ of Christiania, a hippy commune established in the Seventies. The neighbourhood attracts an interesting mix of artists, yuppies, and anarchist dropouts, and has a boho vibe. If you’re feeling particularly energetic consider a guided kayak tour of Christianhavn’s canals and Copenhagen Harbour with KajakOle (kajakole.com). They can also tailor individual trips. 17:00 Stop off at hipster cafe Sweet Treat (Sankt Annæ Gade 3A) for expertly brewed coffee, fruit smoothies and a selection of smørrebrød (open sandwiches) to say your final farewell to the city. Fly direct from London Stansted to Copenhagen for £30.99 return with easyjet easyjet.com. Norwegian Air also offers budget flights from London Gatwick starting at £33 return norwegian.com
The Little Mermaid was once blasted with dynamite. Ouch!
Karriere in the meat-packing district is famous for cocktails TNTMAGAZINE.COM
GETTING THERE Return flights from London to Hong Kong, with a stop-off in Beijing, cost from £536 with Air China (airchina.com).
HONG KONG New Territories Lantau Island
Hong Kong Island
The bright lights: Hong Kong’s Victoria harbour and skyscrapers 70
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Bright lights, little villages In HK, you can have a few holidays in one, thanks to its varied terrain. We try city breaks and country escapes in the ‘Big Smog’ WORDS LAURA CHUBB
WHEN TO GO: Hong Kong is a year-round destination, but the The last thing I need as I doggedly heave my lights of Nathan Road in Kowloon, then stroll most popular time to visit is midout-of-shape physique up 400-odd steps is to peacefully in car-free, hippy haven Lamma. September to late February as the be thumped by a monk. But he goes ahead But for now, I’m battling up this hill in Sha weather is cooler. Rain is heaviest and hits me anyway. The palm of his hand Tin. Sweaty work though it is, I’d thoroughly May to September. thwacks my sweat-soaked forehead – not recommend it. Hundreds of golden Buddha gently – three times, and I finally understand statues adorn my climb, and not one like the CURRENCY: £1 = HK$12 that he’s not going to let me pass without other. Some are fat, some are thin; one has ACCOMMODATION: a donation. a gaggle of golden children climbing about Chungking Mansions is the place Before starting my punishing climb to the him, another – somewhat disturbingly – has for budget accommodation. The 10,000 Buddhas Monastery in Sha Tin – out arms coming out of his eyes. And all the way, building is full of independent in Hong Kong’s New Territories – I’d read that hostels, some of which are cleaner silence, infusing the air with a serene sense entry is free, but to expect a few wily monks of spirituality. (The actual monastery, after than others. (The AC unit blew who would try to solicit an ‘entry fee’. I had more than 400 steps, turns out to be less dirt at us in one.) It enjoys a great not, however, been warned that some would impressive than the climb. About 13,000 little location on Kowloon’s buzzing go so far as to beat a donation out of me. Nathan Road. HK also has a wealth gold Buddhas line the temple walls, but I’m (I later consulted the oracles of Facebook, still more mesmerised by those that guided of ritzy hotels. with a post asking whether I should take this me in.) SEE: discoverhongkong.com/uk monk-on-tourist violence as a blessing or a The plan is to return to Hong Kong’s curse. Replies ranged from the comforting – “If you urban throb in the evening, but first I want to check out got thumped on your head in the eastern part of the world nearby Sai Kung, which I’m told is the place to go for it’s a blessing” – to the not so – “Sounds like foreigners seafood. I catch a bus from Sha Tin metro station and enjoy tricking tourists into thinking unpleasant experiences are unprecedented views of thick, recklessly growing greenery a good thing”). Either way, I give in and hand over a few and ramshackle huts. This more resembles rural South-East crumpled notes. Asia than one of the world’s foremost financial centres. Hong Kong might be one of the most densely populated The town of Sai Kung itself is a pleasantly sleepy affair. areas in the world – there are apparently 6480 people for Worn-looking seafood restaurants line the pretty waterfront, every square kilometre – but I’d also argue that it offers up and myriad tanks teeming with all manner of sea life the most diverse range of experiences within one compact guarantee a fresh meal. I had been planning on a hike across space. Out here in the woods, wrapped in silence and one of the many trails on the Sai Kung Peninsula, but the humidity – and getting thumped by a monk – you wouldn’t slow pace here is infectious, and I spend much longer than think the commercial neon pulse of Hong Kong Island beats anticipated lingering over cheap beer and shrimp noodles. barely more than 10 miles away. That, and eyeing the elephantine fish in nearby tanks, some This is my favourite aspect of the island-state anomaly, the size of a two-seater sofa. which is on the one hand a part of China’s great empire, and On reflection, I should have snoozed off my lunch at one on the other its more liberal, funky cousin – thanks to the of Sai Kung’s secret beaches. You can catch a small boat (or guiding principle of ‘one country, two systems’. (Along with kaido) from the waterfront to the islands just off the town, Macau and Taiwan, Hong Kong is permitted its own capitalist and find your own tucked-away stretch of sand to enjoy economic and political system, independent of China’s undisturbed. Instead, I set off in pursuit of the Peninsula’s socialist ideology.) Within just a few paces, I can go from a Country Park, 7500 hectares of hiking trails that promise shiny shopping centre to a chaotic, old-world street market; great views over Hong Kong’s eclectic landscape. ›› get hassled for a black market handbag among the blinding But it’s another bus ride to the park (closest to Sai TNTMAGAZINE.COM
Peace: the writer in Lamma, Hong Kong’s car-free island
Kowloon: the chaotic urban district Kung town is the west park, the east is further off), and by the time I get there it’s way too late to start a hike. I set off stubbornly anyway, and within minutes come across a sign that reads: ‘WARNING: A python has been spotted in this area.’ That’s enough to drain the last shred of intrepidity from me. And thank god for Hong Kong’s spectrum of experiences: when things get too wild, city life is close by, offering the comfortingly urban embrace of neon and concrete. I turn on my heel and bound emphatically towards it. (Please note that hiking along the trails of Sai Kung should not be taken lightly. Pack lots of water and supplies. Unprepared tourists – like me – are helicoptered out of here all the time.) A short metro ride later and I’m in Kowloon, the packed peninsula that holds 48 per cent of Hong Kong’s population. Hong Kong in its entirety – the eponymous island, Kowloon Peninsula, the New Territories and more than 200 Outlying Islands – measures 407 square miles, and is home to about seven million people. Because the vast majority live on Hong Kong Island and Kowloon, it is known as the world’s most vertical city. How to pack all these people in? Build upwards, not outwards. As a result, Kowloon comes off as the mutant offspring of Times Square and Piccadilly Circus, a relentlessly lit concentration of crowded streets and skyscrapers. A holiday in Hong Kong owes its diversity to the varied terrain, and ticking off Kowloon’s touristy must-dos couldn’t feel any further removed from my more subdued day in the New Territories. First up is the Avenue of Stars, Hong Kong’s answer to Hollywood’s Walk of Fame. After the obligatory snaps with a bronze Bruce Lee statue and Jackie Chan’s hand prints, 72
I stick around to see the Symphony of Light. No doubt cynics will find this lame, but I quietly enjoy the display. The skyscrapers of Hong Kong Island, lined up on the opposite side of Victoria Harbour, light up in time to music blasting from the Avenue’s speakers, performing something of a synchronised dance routine. It happens at 8pm every night, provided it’s not raining. If you can get up early enough, there’s also a free tai chi session on the Avenue of Stars every Monday, Wednesday, Thursday and Friday at 8am. Earlier on my trip, I get talking to a Glaswegian expat,
The climb to the 10,000 Buddhas Monastery
Paul. Having lived in Hong Kong for seven years, he tells me: “The best thing about this place is that you can walk into any building at any time of day, and there’ll be something crazy going on.” I think Paul’s got that half right. It’s not necessarily always crazy, but there is always something going on. And often it’s unexpected, a complete leap from whatever came last. To demonstrate, a short cab ride from this tourist hub, I alight upon my favourite find, the unassuming-looking Tim Ho Wan. On appearance alone, you’d think this your average dim sum canteen, just another with a sign bearing Cantonese characters in Kowloon’s Mong Kok district. But I have it on good authority that this is the world’s cheapest Michelinstarred restaurant. Started by Mak Pui Gor, a former chef at a three-Michelinstarred eatery in Hong Kong’s Four Seasons, you can fill up on exemplary dim sum at Tim Ho Wan for the equivalent of a tenner between two. The only problem is that this lowkey little place – and it is little, so seats are limited – is that everyone wants a piece of it, and a three-hour queue for dinner is not uncommon. I pull off a risky trick in arriving half an hour before closing. There is one vacant table, and I’m hurried straight
I see a sign that reads ‘Warning: Python’
in, no waiting. The challenge now is to eat my fill of highcalibre cuisine within the next 30 minutes. Thankfully, the staff is not going to tolerate any dithering, and orders everything for me (not so much giving recommendations as instructions). Every dish is amazing, and I leave thoroughly stuffed. There are now two more branches of Tim Ho Wan in Hong Kong – one at Sham Shui Po, and another under the IFC mall in Central on Hong Kong Island. Only a fool would fail to drop by. Hong Kong’s tourist staples – taking the Star Ferry across Victoria Harbour, riding the tram up Victoria Peak on Hong Kong Island, and making the pilgrimage (albeit by cable ››
Zoe Li has lived in HK for 20 years
The Insider's guide Zoe Li is a Chinese-Canadian world wanderer who has written for Lonely Planet and The Beijinger. She is now Hong Kong editor for CNNGo.com What’s Hong Kong’s best-kept secret? That it’s actually three-quarters countryside and incredibly green. What’s been your favourite discovery in Hong Kong? There’s a rock pool in Sai Kung that’s only reachable on foot. You have to hike for an hour and then climb up a steep rock face. The pool is deep and set against a cliff. When I go with my friends, we like to dare each other to jump off the cliff and into the pool. Where’s your favourite place to party? My guilty pleasure is a bar called Insomnia in Lan Kwai Fong that has been around forever. It always has a really good Thai or Filipino cover band playing cheesy Nineties tunes and everybody just lets their hair down. It gets totally packed after midnight. Where’s your favourite place to chill? The beaches. Namely Big Wave Bay in Shek O, South Bay, Chung Hum Kok, Turtle Cove, and Tai Long Wan. Where’s good for an adventure? For rural adventures go to Sai Kung. It’s just endless surprise. Every time I go I check out a new beach or a new hiking trail or a new island. For an urban adventure, walk through Yau Ma Tei in Kowloon. You’ll discover indie bookstore Kubrick next to an arthouse cinema, the historic and cinematic Mido Cafe, the infamous Temple Street night market, and really great food everywhere. Do you have a top tip for visitors? Try camping on Tai Long Wan. It has the perfect balance of seclusion and convenience.
car) to the giant bronze Buddha on the largest Outlying Island of Lantau – are all worth ticking off. But there’s one more little gem I’d recommend. Take a ferry to Lamma – another Outlying Island – for the starkest case of contrast between ‘bright-lights’ and ‘laidback’ Hong Kong. It’s just 30 minutes from commercial Central, but a world away from Hong Kong Island. Here, there are no cars or buses, no metro stations or malls, or buildings taller than two storeys. I follow a narrow path – stepping aside for the odd cyclist – that leads me from one side of the island to the other in just over an hour. It’s not a challenging walk, but the sea views, lush greenery, beaches and all-pervading peace make it worth my while. I can see why Lamma is popular with many an ageing hippy expat. The community of the village, the contented quiet of island life – hell, the windsurfing at Kwun Yam Wan beach – is understandably appealing. And if you were to get bored, the city buzz is just a half-hour ferry ride away. Because in Hong Kong, the very opposite of where you’re standing is always just around the corner. ❚
Tim Ho Wan: Michelin-starred food for a tenner
BEST OF THE REST HONG KONG EATS
There’s no shortage of great meals in Hong Kong. Here’s one must-do for every budget.
MIDRANGE Dim sum at Maxim’s Palace in Hong Kong’s City Hall is something of a ‘Big Smog’ rite of passage. Dishes are served from traditional dim sum carts – dangerous, because you’ll keep pointing at the innumerable yummy things passing by your table, and end up with a pile of food that reaches the summit of Victoria Peak. Worth it, though. SPLURGE Hutong at One Peking Road is an achingly classy affair, seating diners in front of a panoramic view of Victoria Harbour. Watch the junks sail by the city’s iconic skyscrapers as you elicit increasingly dirty-sounding moans of culinary pleasure. If you only order one thing, make it the dreamy boneless pork ribs, and wash them down with a pot of hot rice wine. 74
Pilgrimage: the bronze Buddha on Lantau island
NEXT WEEK Undiscovered Japan We reveal our top 10 surprises An old junk
Photos: TNT, Getty, Thinkstock
CHEAP AND CHEERFUL Head to Temple Street in Kowloon. Though best known for its lively night market, filled with cheap sex toys and fortune tellers, the street food is a must-do, too. Pull up a plastic chair at an al-fresco table, temper the thick night air with a cold one, and order up a feast of cheap seafood. Sitting among the throng, bathed in neon, you can’t beat that holiday feeling.
s n o i t a n i t s De AFAR
ROAD TRIP Across the US on Route 89
PLUS CARIBBEAN TRANS-SIBERIAN WHITSUNDAYS ADRENALINE RUSHES
Arizona’s Monument Valley is a stunning stretch of earthy, red sand
GETTING THERE Fly from London to Las Vegas via Charlotte, North Carolina with US Airways, starting from £380 return. (usairways.com)
See Glen Canyon
Swing by Sin City
The Grand Canyon
USA > ROAD TRIP
Road trippin’ in the US Seriously, where better to road trip? Climb in a convertible (or clapped-out hire car) and drive Route 89 from Las Vegas through the stunning Arizona landscape WORDS ALISON GRINTER
he US’s Route 89 extends from Flagstaff, Arizona, to the Canadian border. But that might take a while to do! Instead, take a four-day, almost 300-mile odyssey along this highway from Nevada’s Sin City to the windy wastelands of Monument Valley and the Grand Canyon, via an Indian reservation and a cowboy ranch. It might be a short break, but packing in these must-see sights ensures you’ll see a breadth of US culture. From ancient traditions to the capital of modern day decadence, this is one hell of an eclectic road trip – and one we’d bet you’re unlikely to forget.
FAST FACTS WHEN TO GO Crowds flock to the south west during spring (MarJune), summer ( June-Sep) and fall (Sep-Dec) when the weather is mostly pleasant. Keep in mind the Grand Canyon North Rim closes from late October to mid-May each year. Las Vegas, however, never sleeps. CURRENCY 1 GBP = 1.56 USD ACCOMMODATION A double room at the Alexis Park Resort (alexsipark.com) in Las Vegas costs $55pn (£35). A double room at the Red Feather Lodge (redfeatherlodge.com), near the Grand Canyon, is $119pn (£76). Paria Canyon Ranch in Southern Utah (pariacampground.com) has bunk beds from $20pppn (£13), cabins at $50pn (£32), or camping sites for $10pppn (£6.40) . SEE visitlasvegas.co.uk and nps.gov
Rising 216 metres out of Lake Powell, the colossal convex concrete wall of Glen Canyon Dam marks the entry point into Arizona from Utah. The dam interrupts the Glen Canyon, a jewel in the crown of the 2300km mighty Colorado River, and where climber Aron Ralston cut off his arm after becoming trapped by a boulder, as dramatised in the film 127 Hours. From here you can pick up the Route 89A, the original Route 89, which will take you past the canyon’s sweeping walls swirled with a rainbow of earthy hues and eventually over the Navajo. Paria Canyon Ranch (pariacampground.com) sticks out like a raw behind along a desolate stretch of Route 89 in the south
of Utah and is a great base for exploring this cowboy country.
Monument Valley & The Painted Desert
A landscape of pastel pinks, browns and streaks of brilliant vermilion, the ‘Painted Desert’ is home to Navajo Nation, the largest area of land in the US owned by American natives. Indian markets and traditional dwellings called ‘hogans’ dot the approach to the sacred site. Some Navajos still reside in hogans. The modern version is a six-sided log hut that has a smoke hole in the centre of the roof with a doorway facing east to receive the blessing of the day’s first rays of sun. Further south along Route 89 is the spellbinding Monument Valley, 3218sqkm populated by enormous red sandstone structures known as ‘buttes’ and ‘mesas’.
The Grand Canyon
A detour off Route 89, south of Page, will bring you to Horse Shoe Bend, one of Mother Nature’s little quirks – a horseshoe-shaped meander of the Colorado River and worth the hot, hilly trudge through thick sand for what is an unmissable photo opportunity. Then motor on to The Grand Canyon, where it’s clear Mother Nature has had a field day. The Grand Canyon is so big, it’s almost as though it goes on forever. And if that isn’t spectacular >> tntmagazine.com/destinations
DESTINATIONS AFAR BEST US CITY BREAKS New York Whether you’re visiting for two days or two weeks, the Big Apple represents the ultimate US city break . But be sure to get out of Manhattan and explore some of the hipster hangouts such as Williamsburg in Brooklyn.
They’re all friends now. Just wait ’til a few tyre bursts down the line
enough, a 2.9km return route from the South Kaibab Trailhead will spirit you from the shallow depths of the canyon to a vertiginous viewing spot called Ooh Ahh Point, 2029m above the Colorado River. Try not to “ooh ahh” while you’re there, we challenge you.
Seattle Follow the grunge trail or imbibe some ethically sourced coffee in the cool Capitol Hill area. A must see is the Museum of Flight which XXXX XHEADING HERE XXX houses a collection of 131 air and spacecraft (museumofflight.org).
It’s impossible not to appreciate Las Vegas – a town built purely with hedonism in mind A land of hotels, casinos and shopping centres in the middle of the Nevada desert, Sin City seems like a cruel joke aimed at environmentalists. But as you knock back smoky bacon martinis in the Double Down Saloon or tear along the strip in a limousine past the gondolas and canals of the Venetian Hotel and the Bellagio Hotel’s musical fountains, it’s impossible not to appreciate a town built purely with hedonism in mind. Alight in Downtown Vegas to witness the Fremont Street lights projection show, rub shoulders with Elvises under the ‘Welcome to Las Vegas’ sign, congratulate newlyweds and try your hand on the Blackjack tables before joining in with the excesses by the pool and waterfall at Tryst nightclub in the Wynn Hotel. To jolt yourself out of your stupor the next day try some indoor skydiving (vegasindoorskydiving.com). n
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Photos: Getty, Bob Brye, Thinkstock
DESTINATIONS AFAR Franz Josef Glacier
Black Abyss Caving
Skydive over stunning Lake Wanaka
GETTING THERE Fly from London to Auckland, with a stop in Seoul, with Korean Air from ÂŁ959 return (koreanair. com).
Waitomo NEW ZEALAND
Westport WELLINGTON Wanaka
Nevis Arc Swing
Photos: PR Image, New Zealand Tourist Board, Thinkstock
NEW ZEALAND > ADRENALINE RUSHES
Feel the rush in New Zealand The Kiwis have made their country the adrenaline capital of the world. Here are the biggest and best of the lot – from scary swings to night-time bungee jumps WORDS CAROL DRIVER
ew Zealand is a thrillseeker’s playground. The Kiwis have made it possible to jump, drive, slide, roll, fly or hike through pretty much any part of the country’s terrain. Here’s our top five adrenaline rushes.
Black Abyss Caving, Waitomo
You’re plunged into five hours of adventure with a 37metre abseil through a tiny hole in the ground at Ruakuri Cave. You’ll then explore a secret world which was hidden beneath the sea 30 million years ago. With two guides and a group of up to 12, you’ll zip-wire, leap, tube, squeeze and wade your way through ice-cold water during this thrilling adventure. The grand finale is climbing two fairly small but powerful waterfalls. An unforgettable journey – and a rather energetic one at that. Book from £94pp with The Legendary Black Water Rafting Co (waitomo.com)
At 400m above Queenstown, you’ll have the stars for company as you ride the gondola to the Skyline Complex, eventually stepping out onto a platform which is cantilevered out from the cliff face. Then, take a deep breath, glance at the stunning views of Lake Wakatipu and The Remarkables mountain range, and confront your darkest fears. Good luck! From £65 (ajhackett.com)
Glacier Hike, Franz Josef
If you like your hiking with a hint of 127 Hours (as in, you like adventure, not having to cut your arm off), opt for the fullday excursion. Equipped with crampons, make like a real adventurer as you trek deep into the heart of the ice-blue glacier. In five hours, you will slide through ice caves, shuffle down near vertical ice walls – and enjoy lunch while taking in the breathtaking scenery. From £74 (franzjosefglacier.com)
Nevis Arc Swing, Queenstown
Flying through the air with the greatest of ease has never been so terrifying. The Nevis Arc is the world’s highest swing, and will give you such a buzz, you won’t be able to sleep. Decide whether to travel 40, 80 or the exhilarating 120m as you power through the air, suspended 153m above the rugged Doolan’s Creek in Nevis Canyon. Not for the faint-hearted. Prices from £63pp (bungy.co.nz)
Ledge Bungy, Queenstown
Brave enough to leap backwards and flip into the darkness by trying the Ledge Bungy at night?
Skydive, Lake Wanaka, Wanaka
A trip to NZ isn’t complete without throwing yourself 15,000ft out of a plane, and this location offers more stunning views than most. With a flight that takes in vistas of Mt Cook and Mt Aspiring – the country’s highest snowcapped mountains – this is arguably the best place to do it. You’ll be distracted by the gorgeous glaciers, river valleys and glistening lakes as you fly over Lake Wanaka. Then it’s time to jump, falling for 60 seconds through the air before the parachute opens and you’ll glide peacefully down to Earth. From £180 (skydivewanaka.com) n tntmagazine.com/destinations
This is home for a week. Comfy beds and a lively buffet car await!
GETTING THERE Fly direct from London to Moscow with Aeroflot, starting at ÂŁ191 return (aeroflot.ru)
RUSSIA St Petersburg Yekaterinburg
Ulan Ude MONGOLIA Vladivostok
RUSSIA > TRANS-SIBERIAN
Trans-Siberian: Need to know Travelling the Trans-Siberian is a bona-fide must-do on the backpacker trail. Here are the answers to all the burning questions about the journey WORDS TOM STURROCK
he Trans-Siberian railway has come to mean much more than the train journey across Russia it originally described. As well as the route between Moscow and Vladivostok, it’s now a catch-all for any train journey in this area – in fact, most travellers doing the ‘Trans-Sib’ will usually be heading from Moscow through Siberia, then across Mongolia to Beijing (or vice versa) – officially, the Trans-Mongolian. Here’s what you need to know about it.
How long does it take?
FAST FACTS WHEN TO GO You can go all year round so choose your departure date according to what you want to do en route, such as swimming or dog sledding. THE ROUTE The Trans-Siberian railway runs from Moscow to Vladivostok. The Trans-Mongolian runs through Mongolia between Beijing and Lake Baikal. SEE seat61.com for tips if you’re planning on going independently. Tour operators include The Russia Experience (0845 521 2910; trans-siberian.co.uk) which offers a 15-day Big Trans-Siberian trip; On The Go Tours (020 7371 1113; onthegotours.com), which offers a range of Trans-Siberian adventures; and Intrepid Travel (intrepidtravel.com)
(so don’t make a mess of the cabin!), but you’ll soon come to appreciate their Draconian rule. Most provodnitsas will work hard to keep their carriage neat and tidy.
What’s the cabin like?
Business-class flights, eat your heart out: on the Trans-Siberian you get a bed even in second class. So it might be a bunk in a four-berth compartment and the chances of you getting champagne on departure are slim, but nothing beats being lulled to sleep by the gentle rock of a train. During the day, passengers in second class tend to sit on the bottom bunk regardless of whose bed it is.
It takes seven days to travel straight from Moscow to Vladivostok, and six to Beijing, so even if you’re stopping on the way, each leg is far longer than your average commute. The journey between Yekaterinburg and Irkutsk is 52 hours, for example. Don’t fight the time, think duvet-day and embrace it. When else will you have hours stretching before you with little to do but eat, sleep, chat and read? If you ever wanted to get through Tolstoy’s War And Peace, this is the time. It’s a relaxing change from the usual everyday rush.
The meals might be hit and miss, but the restaurant car is the social hub of the train, perfect for a few beers, card games and the odd bit of drama. Expect to see waitresses flirting outrageously with men from first class, and maybe even your card game will be interrupted by the Russian volleyball team (this did actually happen!).
Who’s in charge?
Can I get off for a leg-stretch?
Each carriage is ruled by a train attendant known as a provodnitsa, if they’re female, or provodnik, if they’re male – though this is rare until China. They don’t suffer fools
What’s the food like?
Given the lengthy journeys, it’s good to get some fresh air and stretch your legs when the train comes into a station. It’s also a good time to top up >> tntmagazine.com/destinations
A typical cabin
Spend some time chatting to locals. This isn’t the Tube – be friendly!
dwindling food supplies – local vendors meet the train armed with homemade dumplings and giant pans of borsch. The train won’t stand in the station a second longer than scheduled, though.
How friendly are my fellow passengers?
Unlike the Tube, chatting to fellow passengers on the Trans-Siberian is part of the experience. And there’s nothing like staring out a window together to make secrets bubble to the surface. So don’t bring your sullen London ways with you – be open to conversation and make yourself some new friends.
A colourful station along the way
Will I see pretty views on the way?
Much of the journey between Moscow and Irkutsk is an endless blur of coniferous forest known as taiga. But leaving this city (or approaching it if you’re heading east to west) you get treated to views of Lake Baikal, icy white or shimmering blue, depending on the season. Through Mongolia to Beijing, you can catch a glimpse of the Great Wall of China. So keep a keen eye out the window – you’re in for a more picturesque ride than you might get chugging out of Clapham Junction.
The Trans-Siberian crosses five time zones (seven if you’re going to Vladivostok) but the trains in Russia run on Moscow time. Combine this confusion with the fact that journeys can be several days in length, and it’s best to forget about time entirely – normal rules do not apply on the Trans-Siberian – and adjust your watch on arrival. n
Take a leg stretch when the train stops
What time is it on the Trans-Siberian?
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CARIBBEAN > TOP 5
Best Caribbean getaways Where better to catch some winter sun than the white-sand beaches of the Caribbean? Here’s our top five islands for topping up that tan WORDS JAHN VANNISSELROY
houghts of the Caribbean inevitably drift to reggae music, pristine beaches with crystal-clear water and lashings of rum cocktails. In reality, there’s so much more. Think vibrant music scenes – reggae, soca and salsa; a well-ingrained Rastafarian culture; verdant forests; tropical birds and fish; and fresh seafood and spicy stews.
Why: After the earthquake of 2010, Haiti has been on a slow road to recovery. There are plenty of opportunities to get stuck in and help rebuild the country, much of which still lies in ruins. In spite of the tragedy, locals remain fiercely proud and welcoming. Spanish forts, colonial cities and beaches still rival most other Caribbean islands. See: haitivolunteer.org
Jamaica Where: Jamaica is situated in the Caribbean Sea, about 145km (90 miles) south of Cuba. Why: Jamaica is home to fantastic diving spots around Runaway Bay and Ocho Rios. Magnificent stretches of stunning sands and tiny fishing villages dotted along the coast offer a glimpse into the true heart of the island. Nature lovers should make a beeline for the wetlands for a chance to spot endangered crocodiles and manatees. See: visitjamaica.com
The Dominican Republic
Where: A nation on the island of La Hispaniola, part of the Greater Antilles archipelago in the Caribbean region. Why: This is the archetypal Caribbean island with clear waters, white-sand beaches and year-round sunshine. Perhaps that’s why the Dominican Republic is the most visited Caribbean country. There’s also plenty to do here, from whale watching to some of the very best surfing in the Caribbean. See: godominicanrepublic.com
Where: An island nation in the Lesser Antilles region of the Caribbean Sea, northwest of Martinique. Why: With no direct international flights, Dominica has warded off mass tourism, giving it an undiscovered feel. Mountain treks and great snorkelling combine to give Dominica its well-deserved moniker “The Nature Island”. Boiling Lake, a ghostly body of water sitting on top of molten lava, is one of the country’s greatest draws. See: dominica.dm
Where: It occupies the western, smaller portion of the island of Hispaniola, in the Greater Antillean archipelago.
Where: In the northeastern Caribbean Sea, east of the Dominican Republic and west of both the United States Virgin Islands and the British Virgin Islands. Why: Puerto Rico seamlessly fuses elements of Latin and Caribbean culture with a contemporary and cosmopolitan American-inspired outlook. Spectacular beaches and colonial sites abound, while reggaeton (Latino hip-hop) and salsa provide the musical backdrop. The Spanish and English-speaking island is also home to gorgeous natural landscapes, including El Yunque rainforest and a millionyear-old cave system in the northwest. See: puertorico.com n tntmagazine.com/destinations
Sail the pristine isles of the Great Barrier Reef
AUSTRALIA > WHITSUNDAYS
Sailing the Whitsundays We take to the high seas and learn how to sail around Aussie paradise. Along the way are whales, platinum sands, and rogue crew members ... WORDS CAROL DRIVER
his truly is paradise: azure waters spreading as far as the eye can see; platinum sands hugging tiny islands; and just the sound of the waves lapping against the sides of my yacht. I’m standing at the helm of our 42ft-long vessel mesmerised by the ‘better than it looks in the postcards’ view. “Man overboard!” My daydreaming is interrupted by the dulcet tones of our skipper, Tony. The crew springs into action: Mike acts as a pointer so we don’t lose sight of our lost man, and Nonie and Graham work together to hook ‘him’ with a pole as I bring the boat around. ‘Bob’ – a lifebelt – has a habit of falling in the water; it’s happened at least three times so far and it’s only the first day of my ‘learn how to sail’ course around Australia’s Whitsunday Islands. I’d travelled from Airlie Beach’s Shute Harbour, on the east coast, to Hamilton Island, the day before, and we set sail on Beneteau 423 to take in some of the 74 isles in the heart of the Great Barrier Reef for five nights. We spend a few hours going over the essential checks we need to carry out each day – WOBBLE (water, oil, bilges, battery, leaks, electrics) – as well as safety procedures such as what to do if there’s a fire, how to use the emergency radio and what mayday signals to use. It’s then all hands on deck. Having never sailed before, it looks quite complicated, with ropes and levers everywhere. But with his 39 years’ experience, including world championships and Olympic trials, we’re in safe hands with Tony.
The breeze picks up and our sails catch the wind, bolstering us along the ocean. We’re sailing! OK, we’re only doing a few knots, but it’s exhilarating. We learn how to gybe (turning with the wind) and tack (against the wind) while sailing to Nara Inlet where we excitedly spot a humpback whale. Between taking turns at the control, each of us acts as a naviguesser – the helmsman of any dangers such as low tide/coral/rocks en route and also to work out the best direction for our destination. I’m at the helm so Nonie and Mike set off to do the important task of making cups of tea. As they disappear below deck, Tony gives me the nod to throw Bob overboard. I shout: “Man overboard!”, before twisting the wheel. We hear crashing from the deck below and a bedraggled Nonie and Mike emerge looking unimpressed. Tony bursts into laughter as we try to rescue a “passenger” who is increasingly becoming a liability. >> GETTING THERE Fly from Sydney to Whitsunday Coast Airlie Beach Airport with Jetstar from £150 return. (jetstar. com)
The Whitsundays Q.L.D
DESTINATIONS AFAR Don’t spend all day on the boat. Swim and splash!
Spot humpback whales as you sail
The islands are off the Queensland coast
After spag bol, we retire to the deck to watch the sunset and drink G&T sundowners We splash around the warm water which is home to schools of colourful fish zipping about in the sun, then it’s back to the yacht to sail to Hill Inlet and finally anchor at Tongue Bay. My group crams into the tiny kitchen as we set about making spag bol, then retire on deck to watch the sunset and drink G&T sundowners. It’s been an exhausting, but rewarding day, and we’re all shattered but content. I just hope Bob doesn’t cause any trouble tonight. n » Carol completed the RYA Competent Crew Practical course around the Whitsundays with Sunsail costing £535pp for five days, including accommodation and food. See sunsail.co.uk
XXXX XHEADING HERE XXX BEST OF THE REST: SAILING TRIPS Turkey Renowned for its sailing, Turkey offers steady winds and clear waters. Its coastline is divided into four areas. The Ionian offers the best climate; Carian is the most popular, and includes Bodrum and Marmaris. Or you can explore the rock tombs on the east Lycian, or the pirate coast with mountainous shores on the west of Lycian. Croatia With more than 1000 islands, the Adriatic coast of Croatia is the perfect place to explore by water. Start from the popular basis of Dubrovnik, Kremik and Pula, then discover tiny uninhabited inlets and anchor at a major port for chic bars and top-class restaurants. Budget and luxury options available from most operators. Greece From beginners to those who want a bit more of a high-endurance sport, sailing around Greece offers it all. Expect picturesque scenery, busy harbours and secluded bays. To the east, explore the villages of the Cyclades; while to the west, the mountainous Peloponnese rises up from the sea – breathtaking.
Photos: © Australian Tourist Commission, Matt Harvey, Ben Southall
Four hours – and three more Bob incidents – later we arrive at White Haven Beach, a stunning 7km stretch along Whitsunday Island. It’s one of the most amazing beaches I’ve ever seen. The water looks unnaturally turquoise, as though it’s been Photoshopped, while the white sand is so soft, it’s like walking in cake mix.
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ST PAT’S PARTY
DUBLIN 10 MARCH 2012
DUBLIN 15 MARCH 2012
The ultimate all-Ireland St Patrick’s extravaganza! See Ireland at its best North and South. INCLUSIONS:
For all who claim to be Irish and those who want to be! This neat package gives you the St Patrick’s Day party you’ve been waiting for. INCLUSIONS:
9 DAYS £539 PP*
> 8 nights accommodation and breakfasts > Exclusive Shamrocker St Patrick’s Day t-shirt > Exclusive Shamrocker St Patrick’s Day parties > Shamrocker Welcome pack > FREE entry to Cliffs of Moher > FREE entry to Blarney Castle > FREE Derry walking tour Groups of 4 - save 5% > FREE entry to Giant’s Causeway Groups of 10 - save 10% > FREE entry to Carrick-a-Rede Rope Bridge > FREE Belfast Black Cab tour > FREE entry to Guinness Storehouse > FREE Shamrocker walking tour of Dublin > FREE Lonely Planet guidebook
4 DAYS £199 PP*
> 3 nights accommodation and breakfasts > Exclusive Shamrocker St Patrick’s Day t-shirt > Exclusive Shamrocker St Patrick’s Day parties > Shamrocker Welcome pack > FREE entry to Guinness Storehouse > FREE Shamrocker walking tour of Dublin > FREE Lonely Planet guidebook
4 DAYS £269 PP* DUBLIN 15 MARCH 2012
INCLUSIONS: All the good stuff of 4 Day St Pat’s Party but with return coach from London to Dublin
SAVE UP TO ÂŁ20 * November & December 2011 departures only. Book by 13 Nov. Enter promocode â€˜frostyâ€™
Groups of 4 - save 5% Groups of 10 - save 10%
ÂŁ179 now ÂŁ159 (Students ÂŁ164
Loch Ness, Isle of Skye & North West Highlands
ÂŁ109 now ÂŁ99 (Students ÂŁ99
Isle of Skye, Loch Ness & Glencoe
HIGHLAND CHRISTMAS & HOGMANAY
THE LOONY DOOK Not many people choose to swim in the sea on New Yearâ€™s Day in Scotland (itâ€™s a wee bit chilly) but for those mad enough to take the plunge, the appropriately named â€˜Loony Dookâ€™ is a perfect hangover cure. Proudly sponsored by HAGGiS.
Our Legendary Festive trips! Experience a Scottish Christmas in a Royal Highland Hotel and Hogmanay in Edinburgh. MEGA HIGHLAND CHRISTMAS
HOGMANAY & HIGHLANDS
ÂŁ415 Departs Edinburgh 24 December - 5 Day
ÂŁ385 Departs Edinburgh - 7 Day
INCLUSIONS: All accommodation and breakfasts / Packed
OPTION 1 â€“ 27 DECEMBER Highlands then Hogmanay
lunches on 25 and 26 December / Mulled wine on arrival to the Royal Highland Hotel / Christmas Eve party / Christmas dinner and wine / A traditional Scottish Ceilidh
OPTION 2 â€“ 29 DECEMBER Hogmanay then Highlands
ÂŁ335 Departs London 30 December - 4 Day
INCLUSIONS: : 2 nights hostel shared dorm on tour and
INCLUSIONS: Return coach travel from London /
4 nights hostel shared dorm Edinburgh / 3 day Skye High adventure / Hogmanay Street Party Pass / Torchlight Procession / The legendary HAGGiS Ceilidh Night
3 nights hostel shared dorm Edinburgh / Hogmanay Street Party Pass / The legendary HAGGiS Ceilidh Night / Edinburgh walking tour / HAGGiS sponsored Loony Dook
âˆž ROYAL HIGHLAND CHRISTMAS
ÂŁ415 Depart London 23 December - 5 Day INCLUSIONS: As per 5 Day Mega Highland Christmas but with return coach travel from London plus 2 nights in Edinburgh
âˆž ROYAL HIGHLAND CHRISTMAS
âˆž EDINBURGH HOGMANAY
ÂŁ335 Edinburgh 29 December - 5 Day INCLUSIONS: 4 nights hostel shared dorm / Hogmanay Street Party Pass / Torchlight Procession / The legendary HAGGiS Ceilidh Night / Edinburgh walking tour / Highland Day trip / HAGGiS sponsored Loony Dook
ÂŁ299 Depart Edinburgh 24 December - 3 Day INCLUSIONS: As per 5 Day Mega Highland Christmas
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dddSNPRO\\XP\Z 5.44V@.QcR[ab_R` Award Winning 3,5,7 & 10 Day Adventures Â? Mini-Group Discounts Â? 4bN_N[aRRQ 1R]N_ab_R` Â? =_RSR__RQ Of @A. A_NcRY 3YVTUa 0R[a_R A_NcRY 0BA@ TNTMAGAZINE.COM 107
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TRIPLE AWARD WINNERS
20% OFF* ALL PASSES SAVE up to £166 * Book by 08 Jan. Enter promocode ‘earlybird2012’. Pay in full by 29 Feb.
WHY GO BUSABOUT? SIMPLE A TRAVEL PASS * THAT LETS YOU EXPLORE 9 COUNTRIES AND 33 DESTINATIONS IN EUROPE DOOR-TO-DOOR PICK-UPS * AND DROP-OFFS AT THE BEST HOSTELS
NEW 2012 BROCHURE
‘EVERY OTHER DAY’ * SERVICE TO AND FROM
EVERY DESTINATION ON OUR NETWORK AWESOME GUIDES ON THE * COACH, FULL OF LOCAL
NEW 2012 BROCHURE
Check it out online at www.busabout.com/brochure or call for a copy.
KNOWLEDGE, TIPS AND ADVICE
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08450 267 514
BUSABOUT ADVENTURES 15% OFF* SAVE up to £117 CROATIA SAILING 8 DAYS Earlybird SAVE UP TO £117
(May, Jun & Sep departures only) ONE-WAY SAIL Normally from £509 - £714 Now from £432 - £606 ISLAND HOPPER Normally from £384 - £784 Now from £326 - £666 IBIZA ISLAND HOPPER 8 DAYS Earlybird SAVE UP TO £83 (Jun-Sep)
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Issued to all Busabout Hop-on Hop-off passengers plus Italy, Spain and all Eastern Europe Treks
08450 267 514
SAVE UP TO £62
CORNWALL CRUSADER 5 DAYS
* Enter promocode ‘earlybird12’. Book by 8 Jan. Valid on Croatia Sailing May, June & September departures only. Valid on above Adventures only. Pay in full by 29 Feb.
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Normally from £449 - £499 Now from £381 - £424
CLASSIC RHAPSODY TREK 9 DAYS Earlybird SAVE UP TO £88 (May-Sep)
*Enter promocode ‘earlybird12’. Book by 8 Jan. Valid on above Tour only. Pay in full by 29 Feb.
With all valid ISIC/ISE/ITIC Cards
CHRISTMAS NEW YEAR
WARM UP IN 15 DAY
PYRAMIDS & BEACHES
INCLUDES USD$190 LOCAL PAYMENT
INCLUDES RETURN COACH!
4 DAY KRAKOW NEW YEAR
MAKE YOUR OWN WAY
Dep. 20 Nov 2011
Dep. 20 Nov 2011
NILE & BEYOND
INCLUDES USD$210 LOCAL PAYMENT
INCLUDES USD$240 LOCAL PAYMENT
£450 £549 NOW
£269 £299 ONLY
INCLUDES RETURN COACH!
20% OFF! *
WAS £455 NOW
4 DAY 4 DAY
Dep. 19 Nov 2011
UK Golden Backpack
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AY DON’T TO3RDPDNOVECSHEKPHEFIRRDSSTBUSTHH WATRAURLKAVELSDBOU T ES PRIZ FORGET! FROM 6PM DISCOUNTS PLUS MORE!
trips for 18 to 30 somethings
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Flights not included. Egypt trip price includes local payment based on $1 = £0.626, which must be paid locally in USD. Exchange rates correct at time of printing, and subject to currency ﬂuctuations, depending when payment is made. Discount taken from the trip price and doesn’t include local payments.
EUROHOTEL: Outstanding locations with bags of character
8 DAY PARADES TO PIAZZAS
Includes Rome, Venice, Salzburg, Amsterdam, Brugge, plus more!
Includes Paris, Swiss Alps, Florence & Rome.
EUROHOTEL: Outstanding locations with bags of character
14 DAY WINTER WONDER Dep. 16 Dec 2011
Includes Paris, Swiss Alps, Rome, Salzburg, Amsterdam, plus more!
10% 2 OFF
9 DAY HADRIAN’S PATH Dep. 21 Dec 2011
Dep. 16 Dec 2011
EUROHOTEL: Outstanding locations with bags of character
EUROCLUB: Hostels to hotels, bungalows, castles & yachts
18 DAY WINTER GETAWAY Dep. 19 Nov, 7 Dec 2011
Includes Paris, Swiss Alps, Venice, Prague, Berlin, plus more!
INCLUDES £195 FOOD FUND
FOR MORE DEALS T CHECK OU OUR WEBSITE
CALL US 0845 257 5210 Prices quoted & discounts are for speciﬁc departures only. All trips subject to availability. Discounts are off trip prices only, and do not include food funds, sailing funds and local payments. Flights not included. See website for full terms and conditions.
WEEKEND BREAKS AND DAY TOURS SHORT BREAKS HOLLAND & BELGIUM From
Fri 21st - Sun 23rd October. Return travel by coach, 2 night’s B&B with dinner AND free bar, sightseeing tour, visit to a cheese and clog farm, tour manager and a half day in Brugge.
PARIS BY EUROSTAR From
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DAY TRIPS £46
¸ Sat 22 Oct. A Day In WALES. From ¸ Sun 23 Oct. Brighton. From
¸ Sun 29 Oct. Windsor Castle & Hampton Court. From
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PLUS Stonehenge & Bath EVERYDAY. From £45
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Anderson Tours is fully bonded by Client Trust Account
Brugge Overnight 19-20 Nov Only £129pp
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e at Book onlinrsion s.com www.outthere-excu
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ADVENTURE WEEKEND PARTIES IN WALES
We pickup from West London every Friday evening at 6:30pm in our very nice mini coach. Our trips are great for groups of mates, singles or couples. HORSE RIDING (all day) over the Brecon Beacons national park, suitable for first timers or experienced. We ride over mountains and ancient Roman bridleways, it’s the best ride in the UK, with great scenery. The sore ass is on us and guaranteed, but we’ll put muscle soak in the hot tub for you. £195 (The riding is suitable for beginners or the experience.) HILL WALKING on the Brecon beacons national park. You can also just do a pub crawl and party for the whole weekend. £140 The accommodation has 2 double rooms, dorms & open log fire. It also has a huge covered hot tub next to a river with music. At night you can party all you like. With big late breakfast on Sunday. Our food is simply the best. We even make bread and roast our own coffee. So if you would like to relax & escape London then give us a call on 01874 636170 open till 10pm. Included in all prices are return transport, 2 nights accommodation, all food and activity There are no hidden extras. firstname.lastname@example.org www.bushwakkers.co.uk Perfect for private parties for any reason
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Post your message at tntmagazine.com/seeking or email email@example.com. Text TNT and your message to 81707* but not alone. Most people I know have already done these trips. Let me know if you’re interested. It’d be great to meet new people! Em, via tntmagazine.com/forums. Pop in the hole: Where are you Jack Nicklaus? You and your mates were playing a round of golf around the pubs. You came into my local and played a par three with me round the back. Ruffed up my putting surface, then had a hole in one with your big putter!! I think
travel home to Sydney in January for six weeks, and will be doing the outbound leg without my husband. I have a two-year-old child, plus six-month-old old twins. The airline needs there to be an adult for every child under two so I need to find someone who will travel with me and hold one of the twins during take-off, landing and turbulence. I’ll pay an amount towards your airfare. This would be ideal for any nannies going home
THINGS THE QUEEN SHOULD DO BEFORE SHE DIES
#451 Set up a Hug Exchange at the Occupy London protests
we should meet for the full 18 holes next week. Game?? I’ll see you on November 5. Sandy Bunker. Roomie wanted: I‘m after a male Aussie or Kiwi roommate for a houseshare in Willesden Green. The room costs £280 per month (including bills) and you will be sharing the house with seven others. The house is a short walk to the Tube, restaurants and supermarket. If interested, please email lrose85@hotmail. com. Thanks, Lachlan Rose, via tntmagazine.com/forums. Flying nanny: I am looking to
or really anyone willing for that matter. Please let me know if you are interested. Fiona Rothwell, via tntmagazine/forums. From Mork: Come in Orson. Where is the girl wrapped in tin foil from the Walkabout last weekend? You said you were from outer space. Outta your mind more like. I’ll send you to orbit on my space rocket. Nanoo Nanoo shazbut. Missing London: My Carbery/ London Crew! I’ve been doing some hard out reminiscing. From me and Mad Dog being stranded by our ship on a Croatian island
and having to swim to a Bosnian ex-soldier’s speed boat for help, teapots at the Reddy, random elephant missions in Spain, VB and Steinlager superheroes, Manalo shitting his pants, and DUNA BEACH, to spending a month in hospital doing a med trial to fund my Oktoberfest trip. Then there was falling in love with an Irish. The Manor: ’WE’RE NOT HERE TO MAKE FRIENDS, WE’RE HERE TO DRINK PISS!’, our ‘White Christmas’, or just cooking up some Charsta. Some amazing memories and hopefully not the last. Love Simmy D, via tntmagazine.com/forums. HB RFC: Happy day of birth raggy. Congrats on eventually reaching your 27 F-bombs! Hurry up and come to Melbourne already. Ginger Tash Fetish, via tntmagazine. com/forums. Girls Weekend: Is anyone keen to do a girls weekend away in England? It will be somewhere accessible by train. It would be good to meet new people, see some of the UK and enjoy a drink or 40 in a new town! I have some ideas if anyone’s keen to join. Email me: firstname.lastname@example.org. Via. tntmagazine.com/forums. A lovely poem: Roses are red and violets are blue/ I looked at your derrière, and think I saw poo. I may be stupid, and I may be dim/ but there was no mistaking that discolouring near your rim. Standards: Punching above your weight? Possibly, but I’d much prefer you punch me than the five-foot minger who draped herself over you at the Castle last weekend. B.
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Ero, namaste: beer bongs, watering cans, nude runs and kitchen trashing will not be the same without my wingbabe! Don’t get too comfortable back home, we’ve got India and Nepal to dominate next year! Bring on Holi and Everest!! Yeeeoow! See you in Delhi, G-unit. Ruv you rong time. Manu. Hans Solo: Hello there. I am a 28-year-old English female who will be travelling Central America starting in January. I am looking for travel buddies as it is more fun, cheaper and safer! I am easy going and open-minded. I love beaches, nature, walking, culture, reading, food and drink, socialising and meeting new people. If you will be around that area and want to meet up, let me know : ) Amy, via tntmagazine/forums. (Rampant) rabbit and hat: I’m looking for the magician from Manchester who managed to pull a rabbit from between my legs! It Wasn’t the usual type, but it certainly got you a round of applause!! I’d like to see your magic wand again soon. WW. Domestic travellers: Hi everyone. My name is Emily. I’m a 27-year-old professional working full time. I arrived in London just over a year ago from Sydney and now I’m looking for new travel buddies – people who are keen on getting out of London over the weekends. I’ve travelled around different parts of Europe, but I’ve failed to visit what’s closest. I want to see more of the UK. I’d love to visit Scotland, Ireland, Wales, etc,
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