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It’s tradition: A giant inflatable Spider-Man was one of the star attractions at last week’s Thanksgiving Day parade in New York City. It’s part of the tradition that celebrates the Pilgrims and the Native Americans coming together in Plymouth in 1621 and blowing up enormous balloons decorated to look like superheroes
Ali G led the West Staines Massive
STAINES HOPES TO SHED ALI G STIGMA UNITED KINGDOM The Berkshire town of Staines, indelibly associated with wannabe gangsta Ali G, is poised to change its name to Staines-on-Thames. Council officials may say they want to capitalise on the town’s place on the Thames, but some in the community feel the change is an absurd PR stunt. “Changing the name exposes the town to ridicule, it turns its back on 1,500 years of history and is not necessary,” said Steve Parsons, the secretary at Staines Town Football Club. “That is the reason why people see this as ridiculous – places that change their names are places like Stalingrad.” TWEETS OF THE WEEK @Stephen Fry I’ve been diagnosed with chronic fear of giants; Feefiphobia @SamuelLJackson From one thankful muhfukkah to the resta yall, HAPPY THANKSGIVING! @Lord_Voldemort7 Everyone complains about the economy & yet a movie about sparkling vampires made $200 million internationally in three days.
ROMP ENDS BADLY FOR HOLIDAYMAKERS CANARY ISLANDS A cheeky shag in a hotel stairwell nearly ended in tragedy for a 49-yearold woman, who tripped during the act and ended up dangling naked, her leg trapped between the banisters. Her husband contacted the emergency services and firemen freed the red-faced woman. She was taken to hospital where 42
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she was diagnosed with a broken ankle, and to add to the embarrassment, the sirens on the ambulance weren’t working so she had to be given a police escort. A police spokesman said: “Her good luck was that getting her leg caught stopped her from falling. Her bad luck was that she broke her ankle, was naked and couldn’t get free.” Where would we be without police spokesmen to clarify these things?
DIY COSMETIC SURGERY BACKFIRES UNITED STATES A woman posing as a doctor used cement, mineral oil and flat-tyre sealant to enlarge a patient’s bum. Oneal Ron Morris (right) has been
charged with practising medicine without a licence with serious bodily injury after taking $700 to perform the operation. Morris, 30, was born a man but identifies as a woman, and is believed to have used the procedure on herself as well. Miami Gardens Police sergeant Bill Bamford said Morris told the woman: “We just keep injecting you with the stuff and it all works itself out.” After falling ill afterwards, the victim went to hospital where doctors smelled a rat. “No licensed physician in his right mind would ever do this,” Bamford said.