opinion
february 14, 2014
Love in the media isn’t quite reality
5
Women expect Men should not have to be Prince unrealistic tropes Charming in order to be truly loved Boy meets girl. They grow close, they get jealous and then they fight. But it takes a realization, a dramatic declaration of love, something that will cause the music to swell and the camera to pan on that big kiss. Then the movie is over. There’s no need to worry about their future because we know they’ll be in love forever. SANDY CHO Cue the credits. The end. But in reality, relationships go on after the ending credits. People break up and love fizzles. As life goes, some things are just not meant to last forever. However, due to popular novels and romantic comedies of Hollywood, love is painted in an unlikely and unrealistic light, in which people expect relationships to be heartwrenchingly passionate and last forever. And because of this, girls of the audience, in particular, are left pining away to reform their bad boys or fall into the strong arms of their Prince Charming’s. It’s important not to lose sight of the fact that your significant other should not be a stock character who has a certain look and image, but someone you actually enjoy being and talking with. There will be no clear-cut jerk with a heart of gold or the righteous hero who’s always there to save the damsel. With popular movie heroins, such as Audrey Hepburn in “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” and Natalie Portman in “Garden State,” females are portrayed as quirky and free-spirited as they bring some sort of meaning into the brooding male protagonists’ lives and drag them into whirlwind adventures. However, females are so much more complex than that. They shouldn’t be molded nicely into a trope, acting as a catalyst for some sad man’s life. Though Hollywood relieves anxiety and provides entertainment, especially for stressed out Jefferson students, it’s imperative to realize that love and relationships aren’t all what’s on the big screen. There’s more to eccentric girls and dashing dark heroes, and happily-ever-afters. According to Barbara Frederickson, a positive psychologist at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, in her new book, “Love 2.0,” love is not actually an emotion that lasts forever but rather, a “micro-moment of positivity resonance,” a positive connection between people. As long as we focus on maintaining positive connections between the people we love, not just with a love interest, and be true to ourselves, it’s possible that our lives may just rival those seen in Hollywood movies.
Can an average guy ever find love? If you are well versed in popular culture, the answer may seem confusing. It would likely come across as a flat out no. But what can a guy do to find love? Roses and a suit of shining armor seem to be about the baseline. TOMMY LUNN Let’s face it. The romantic expectations of men as portrayed in the media seem to be from the early 20th century. Heaven forbid women call men or ask a man on a date. The way we see it, if a man does not initiate or call after the first date, there is no chance for him to find love. Strike one. If a guy does succeed in getting a date, the pressure is even higher. He must be on time, drive a fancy car and pay quite a hefty sum of money for that meal. In addition, he must also remain as infallible as the pope while starting and carrying on an interesting discussion. And what if he doesn’t? Strike two. No discussion of love in pop culture can be portrayed without what is seen as the most important aspect of a man: physical appearance. A man cannot be average, or even skinny. Instead he must be gifted with attractive genes, physically built and wearing nice clothes. That’s not to say there’s no pressure on women, but even average looking women in the media hone their personality and find love. If a guy doesn’t look like Channing Tatum or Dave Franco, he’s done for. Strike three. And what happens if a man fails at any of these tasks? He receives a one-way trip to loneliness. In pop culture, any man deemed as average or anywhere near there falls into one of three categories. Quite often, he is the sidekick, the annoying friend born to pale in comparison to the more attractive male. If not, there’s a good chance he is the butt of all the jokes, his own or otherwise. And if neither of the above applies, he lives alone and unhappy for the sake of it. But that’s not how real life should work. And yet if we keep allowing men to be portrayed as either Prince Charming or forever alone, we are going to shift to a society in which that becomes more acceptable. There’s nothing wrong with romance. Men should allow themselves to be charming and to look good.
Of course, men should always treat women with dignity and respect that, as equals to men, they deserve. However, the undermining of everything less than perfect must stop. Average guys are just that, average. It does not mean that they are boring, ugly, rude or have any distinct, negative traits. Most guys are average, and that’s okay. Just about every so-called average guy has an attractive, romantic side. Will they be able to sweep women of their feet every other night? No, but that isn’t necessary. Instead, it should be the little things that matter. If women cannot appreciate any little gesture, they will likely end up being disappointed. Even if a guy doesn’t seem perfect, he still deserves love. Not only are some of the best people the ones that the media would look past, but most people in general deserve to love and be loved. But if we continue to have such high standards, everyone is going to end up hurt. It’s simply not fair for men to be expected to do everything and be everything as seen in the movies. Love is about more than a dozen roses or a box of chocolates, it’s about making a personal connection and making it last. As long as both men and women continue to look to the media as being reality, true love is going to be the real victim. In an age where divorce rates are skyrocketing and online dating is becoming more acceptable, women need to accept men for who they are and the opposite will entail.
cartoon by Tara Gupta
Social media celebration over inclement weather is too frivolous for the consequences Snow days aren’t that exciting. Before the year’s first snow day, Ryan McElveen was not a name known to many students. With one tweet announcing the snow day before the official Fairfax County Public Schools LINDSAY WILLIAMS (FCPS) Twitter, he became the most famous school board member in FCPS history. Why does the announcement of a snow day make students so excited? The first snow day each year is indeed a special occasion- it calls for hot chocolate, sledding and catching up on sleep. But by the third or fourth day in a row of school closings, it’s become such an event that students are afraid to leave their phones between 6 and 10 p.m. lest they miss McElveen’s twitter announcement, even though they know deep down that they’re dying of cabin fever and boredom. When the inevitable cancelation occurs, students react by editing McElveen’s face onto various superheroes, pop culture icons, television characters and even regular pictures. If it doesn’t happen, a vast amount of whining and commiserating over social media ensues. Rumors abound during this time; this person has this inside source, that person knows someone who knows someone on the school board. Students who predict correctly are heralded as heroes, but those who falsely announce a snow day are hated. Fake twitter accounts declaring a snow day are a dime a dozen. Students carefully watch what other counties do as indicators, although we don’t always follow the pattern. One of the problems with widespread misinformation is it draws the attention of the students. This wouldn’t be a bad thing except it comes with a killer side effect: pro-
cartoon by Tara Gupta
crastination. Students sometime skip or skimp on their assignments with the assumption that they will have time the next day to do it. But if the county opts for two hour delay or worse, goes for a full day, they end up staying awake all night completing their homework. If the decision isn’t announced until the morning, there’s some risk involved: assume school is canceled and get some extra sleep? Or study for classes that may not happen? We also have to take care not to take the general excitement too far. Recently, Buzzfeed reported that the chancellor of the University of Illinois at Urbana received racist, sexist and violent tweets when she announced that school would continue despite extreme temperatures. Although nothing at FCPS has reached this point, this is
just an example of how we could potentially go overboard with the snow day hype. Is all of the snow day drama really necessary? Twitter and Facebook are important tools in getting the news out, but the amount of rumor and misinformation is ridiculous. Students should only report information they know is sound and the response is consistently overboard. Snow days are simply responses to inclement weather, and aren’t for student enjoyment. And should we be that excited that we will have to go to school on our few and far between spring holidays, or far into June? We need to calm down and even our reaction to snow days and take into account their costs.