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Please be sure to mind the expectations gap

CHURCH-COMMUNITY CONNECTION Pastor Ed Delph

Peoria Times Columnist

Last week, we started a two-part series on what happens when we live our lives or base our success on the following equation: expectations minus reality equals happiness.

So, when the reality of someone’s life is more than they had expected, they’re happy. But when their reality turns out to be less than their expectations, they’re unhappy.

We discovered most people have a sizable gap between where they expected to be in life compared to the reality of where they are currently.

They’ve applied themselves and worked hard but somehow didn’t quite achieve what they believed they would. When this happens, many people either give up or give in to “unmagnificent” obsessions to medicate the hurt, discouragement and frustration.

Let me give you an example of what I am addressing. I have been a pastor since 1980 in the Phoenix area. For the last 20 years, I have been pastoring pastors all over the world. The most common issue I address in pastors is their expectations.

When pastors start their ministry, they expected to have a church of thousands of people, a large building and speaking worldwide. But 25 years later, they are pastoring a church with 100 people, with no hope of ever achieving their expectations, and they are exhausted. So, where do you go from there?

Hopefully, this two-part series will give a realistic perspective to those who never quite reach fulfilling their dreams, goals and desires. So, let’s discover a new and much more accurate view about success and life. Let’s learn to, as they say in England, “mind the gap.” If this concept applies to you, please consider the following truths that have the power to unhandcuff you, freeing you up to enjoy and be content with life.

First, leave the definition of real success to God. Don’t allow our shamebased, performance-driven society to determine the meaning of success that you are basing your happiness on. God’s definition of success is to be a person of peace with yourself, your family and others, whether in business, community or church.

Here’s some ancient wisdom about peace and contentment. “But godliness actually is a means of great gain when accompanied by contentment. For we have brought nothing into the world, so we cannot take anything out of it either.”

You see, peace brings release. We aren’t running a race against others, competing for trivial pursuits and unrealistic dreams. We are running an endurance race against ourselves. At the finish line is the trophy of contentment. Peace with yourself and with God leads to peace with others. Finish strong, not wrong.

Third, find a shared vision with God and yourself. Don’t be afraid to believe or dream again. It’s OK to have big, hairy audacious goals, but don’t let those goals define you. Give it your all but remember, “Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it.”

Don’t confuse who you are with what you do or have done. Goals give direction, dreams give motivation, but if you don’t reach where you expected to be, that’s OK. Some fulfill their expectations. Some don’t. It’s OK not to be OK if you tried.

Learn to integrate success with failure. If you back up and take a second look, there are other areas in which you could be successful. Don’t let the world (shame, name, fame or blame) squeeze you into its mold. You are God’s workmanship, and God “don’t” make no junk. Don’t put a question mark where God put a period.

Our perspective about happiness and success needs upgrading. Think of life this way. “I was wrong in my definition of happiness; I’ve tried my hardest, I’ve lived my life faithfully, and it didn’t turn out. I’m not going to spend the rest of my life using precious energy asking why or beating myself up or others up because I didn’t reach my expectations. I’m not going to listen to the never-ending audio loop of “woulda,” “shoulda,” “coulda.” Maybe expectations should come from God’s voice, not ours or our culture’s voice.

Fourth, get back into the game of life. It’s one thing to be wounded or lost on the battlefield. It’s another to be captured by the enemy or surrendered to the enemy.

Realize God’s hall of fame was built by faithfulness rather than high attendance, sales figures or stereotypes. David was a man of small stature.

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Jehovah’s Witnesses converge virtually

BY PEORIA TIMES STAFF

Calling it “amazing,” Zulma Peñaloza was baptized as a Jehovah’s Witness on July 24.

“My boy put a chair in front of the TV,” said the Valley resident, who then listened to a Bible talk for baptism candidates in her home. Afterward she made her way to a private pool.

When she stood up to be baptized, she said “it felt good.”

The switch to virtual conventions has brought positive changes to the baptism, traditionally a main feature of every convention where mass baptisms are performed in front of large crowds.

Family and friends from around the world can share in the moment from their living rooms. “This has helped,” said Peñaloza, who said with Zoom “everybody is on the screen.”

Jehovah’s Witnesses are keeping their summer conventions virtual for the second year in a row.

“As much as we long to meet together, life is far too precious to put at risk,” said Robert Hendriks, U.S. spokesperson for Jehovah’s Witnesses.

“Powerful by Faith!” is the theme of the 2021 global event, which is being delivered in more than 500 languages to households throughout the globe over six weekends, uniting some 15 to 20 million people in 240 countries.

Before the pandemic, millions gathered in stadiums, arenas and theaters around the world for the annual conventions of Jehovah’s Witnesses. Organizers say that, while they look forward to future live conventions, the continued risk of bringing thousands of people together in large venues prompted the organization to opt for a virtual platform again this year.

However, the move has not curbed the enthusiasm for the annual event.

“For my wife and I, our annual convention remains the spiritual highlight of the year,” said Ricardo Barrio, one of Jehovah’s Witnesses in Arizona.

“We look forward to new information, updates from around the globe and, of course, a feature-length movie focusing on a Bible character. Regardless of the format, it is three days of positive encouragement. That spiritual boost keeps us going strong.”

Hendriks added, “Faith has helped our global brotherhood to continue to thrive even during a pandemic. Our faith will continue to unite us in worship — even virtually — as millions gather in private homes around the world to enjoy a powerful and inspiring spiritual program.”

The final session of the convention, including the conclusion of the Bible drama “Daniel: A Lifetime of Faith,” was released Aug. 16. The entire program is free and accessible on jw.org or on the JW Library app for iOS or Android or on streaming platforms like Roku TV and Apple TV.

For more information on the activities of Jehovah’s Witnesses, visit jw.org.

Zuma Peñaloza of Maricopa County expresses her faith following a Jehovah’s Witnesses’ virtual convention discourse. (Photo courtesy Jehovah’s Witnesses)

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Noah preached for 120 years and only had seven converts. But they both had peace.

Many times, successful people in the world’s eyes paid for it in areas that we don’t see and ended up with no peace or contentment. That’s their reality gap — these successful idols would give anything to have the contentment you can have.

Remember that God does His work and allows us to participate. Life is not our show. It’s God’s show. Peace with contentment is a deliberate adjustment of our lives to the will of God. All you want to hear when you finish your race is right out of the Bible. “Well done, good and faithful servant, you were faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things; enter into the joy of your master.”

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