PARENTINGTIPS
provide her with a strong foundation upon which she can build future romantic relationships?
DADDYDAUGHTER DEVOTION
Recent research shows that fathers play a unique and central role in their children’s lives and all-round development. Educational and child psychologist Dr STEPHANIE SATARIANO goes a step further: early patterns of interaction between dad and daughter can form the blueprint for her future relationships. Fathers can show them how they should be treated.
T
he mother-child bond often takes centre stage, and tends to be the focus of most parenting advice. Fortunately, however, fathers are taking a more pronounced role in parenting, and it is important for them to know that they too play a crucial part in their child’s development. In fact, recent research is showing that fathers play a unique and central role in their children’s lives. For a daughter, the relationship with her father is one of her first with the opposite sex, and many theorists advocate that it is the blueprint of all future relationships. From a young age, girls draw conclusions on men and what to expect from them based on
their observations of the men that play a role in their early lives; which are commonly their fathers. Research has indicated that from as young as four or five, children create templates of gender expectations, which form the basis of their ability to have a relationship with a man.
• Develop a secure relationship with your daughter: spend time doing things, just you two, and have fun together. Let her know you care about her and love her with words and signs of affection. • Teach her personal boundaries: fathers are in a good position to teach their daughters the importance of personal space, and the distinction between affection and inappropriate touching. • Celebrate her mind: let her know that her mind is important; show interest in her intellect and academics; have interesting conversations with her about her areas of interest and yours. • Go to her events: enjoy watching her in her hobbies and show respect for her interests; model that you value her talent, efforts and achievements. • Compliment her: we live in a world where girls are often made to feel insecure about their looks; show her you value her, and pass real and meaningful compliments – for example, how she performed in a play, or in a sport, about a nice dress she wore, or a recent haircut. It’s important to be genuine when giving praise/compliments, and make them specific and meaningful. • Treat all woman the way you want her to be treated: this will help her create a template for how she should be treated. Most importantly, treat her mother with respect. Even if you are not together, and you have a negative relationship, try your best to show respect towards her.
“TREAT ALL WOMAN THE WAY YOU WANT HER TO BE TREATED: THIS WILL HELP HER CREATE A TEMPLATE FOR HOW SHE SHOULD BE TREATED” So fathers, yes, you do play a strong part in building your daughter’s future; you hold a powerful role in your daughter’s life. Now, how can you maximise this relationship so as to
• Treat her the way you want her future partner to treat her: the way you interact with her develops her self-worth and sets the bar of how she should be treated. Pink February 2017 ∫ 53