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THURSDAY, DECEMBER 29, 2011
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Mom’s beautiful package was found to contain - a sexy seethrough nightie, size 4, plus a robe. Everything got straightened out, of course, but “we used to wonder about the reaction of the woman whoopenedherpackageandfound a fuzzy, floor-length bathrobe in a size 14,” Betty says. There must be something about bathrobes that lead to confusion. Dorothy Gracik of Lenexa, Kan., sharesthestoryofthetimeherhusband, Al, enlisted a friend to shop
for Dorothy’s Christmas gift. Al had also mentioned needing to get a present for their son. Well, you know what happened. Dorothy opened her gift to find “a long dark robe and unattractive slippers.” They were for their son, but Al didn’t pick up on that right away. “The best thing about the ‘bad gift’ was all the laughs we have had about it through the years,” Dorothy says. Sometimes karma will strike a “bad” giver. Debra Ramsey of
Workplace Revenge — And How to Stop It.” “What really motivates people is when they feel a sense of injustice and their managers or employers won’t rectify it,” he says. In 1,000 interviews, Bies has heard about abusive bosses, “free riders” who take the credit for others’ work and publicly criticized workers who want payback because they feel they’ve lost face. Although everyone wanted revenge, one-third of them did nothing, Bies says. The twothirds who acted did so indirectly, with bad-mouthing or the si-
lent treatment. Bies says men are more likely to use confrontation. Women are more likely to use passive-aggressive means such as bad-mouthing. To get back at a nosy co-worker who always tried to steal clients, Vince Donald of San Jose, Calif., imagined locking him in the bathroom and freezing his stapler in Jell-O (a trick he saw on NBC’s “The Office”). In the end, he called the guy posing as his boss and threatened his job if he didn’t stop surfing the Internet at work. “I decided to have fun and not let my anger get the best of me,” Donald says. “It still made me
feel better.” That’s the type of advice doled out on www.revengelady.com. With her tongue planted firmly in cheek, Los Angeles-based author Chris Gallagher reads through hundreds of reader-submitted scenarios every month and helps retaliation seekers “bring humor and happiness back to their lives.” Her rules are simple. “Keep it legal,” says Gallagher, who started the site in 2000. “The punishment should match the crime. And most importantly, do something fun and move on. Don’t obsess.” Some people write in just to
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Bies says. “It becomes a sort of addictive response or hedonic impulse. The movie ‘Nine to Five’ was all about revenge, but it gave us pleasure because we wanted something to happen to the bad boss.” Turns out the workplace is a breeding ground for revenge because rules, procedures and codes of honor are constantly violated, says Bies, who co-wrote “Getting Even: The Truth About
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Uniontown, Kan., says the worst Christmas gift she ever received was from her younger brother. It was the early1970s, and portable eight-track music players were the rage. And that’s what she got: a “twin” to her brother’s eighttrack player. Debra inserted her favorite Led Zeppelin tape and – nothing! Little bro had given her his player, which was broken. He had a great laugh; Debra wanted to kill him. Shortly thereafter, Debra took the busted player to the merchant it had come from to get it fixed. But she ended up getting a brand-new one from the store. “The last Christmas laugh was on my brother, who thought I neededtogiveitbacktohim.But my parents said, ‘No, that was a gift to your sister.’ ” Debra reports she sure enjoyed playing it around her brother the next couple of years. Sometimes a bad gift turns good. A few years after Merrill MillerofKansasCitylosthiswife of 43 years, daughter Nancy gave him a cookbook for Christmas. She’d figured out that her dad didn’t know his way around the kitchen and was eating out a lot. Merrill didn’t appreciate the gift – he didn’t think the cookbook was an appropriate present for a man. Nancy, however, informed him that if he could read, he could learn to cook. And he did. “Eleven years later, I still get a warm smile every time I pick it up and prepare a meal,” Merrill says.
GIFTS hardly contain my enthusiasm,” Maggie says. But we’re willing to betshegrewtolovethosePJs,especially on cold winter nights. Some gifts really do stink. Geri Smiley of Grandview, Mo., used to live in Idaho, “where I hiked in the Sawtooth Mountains every day afterworkand(oneday)cameacross a true find: dried bear scat.” Yes, bear poop. Geri decided said poo would be a “unique gift” for a 10year-old nephew, so the scat was packed in a box and shipped off to Ohio. The present had a noticeable smell once the box was opened. “We howl about it to this day,” Geri says. Sometimes a gift just seems bad at first. Bree Fallon of Overland Park, Kan., remembers well the Christmas she was in sixth grade. She got a microscope from Santa. Her younger sister, however, got a karaoke machine. But, Bree says, “I supposethisallmakessensegivenI went on to things like quiz bowl and shot put while she excelled at cheerleadingandsocializing.Truly a defining moment.” Sometimes it’s all a mistake. Betty Marxsen of Kansas City, Mo., tells of the time she and her family bought their mom, who was about 70, a nice bathrobe. They even paid to have it professionally gift wrapped. But there was some mix-up, because come Christmas morn,
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seems ready made for New Year’s Eve. Alex Weissner, 26, in Denver isn’t interested. “I’ve never been on a date on New Year’s Eve, and I’m pretty sure most of my close friends haven’t either,” she said. She, too, will celebrate with a group of friends. And that kiss? “I feel like so many young women out there need to have that date,” Weissner said, “but honestly why not just enjoy your life and you never know what might happen?” Shannon Mouton, 43, in Washington, D.C., has been in several long-term relationships that involved being together for New Year’s Eve. This year, she isn’t. Like Weissner, she’ll be with friends, with a likely stop at church. “I did spend one New Year’s Eve with just a single girlfriend of mine and it was depressing,” she said. “I knew I would never do that again. It felt like two spinsters sitting at home watching time and the world go by us.” It’s tough for Jennifer Marcus, 25, in Fort Wayne, N.J., to be around coupled friends on New Year’s Eve, especially considering she just broke up
with her boyfriend of three years. “Part of me is dreading the holiday,” she said. “I think I’ll be really sad watching people around me with their significant others. But the other part of me is excited. I can spend the holiday with close family and friends, ringing in the New Year with people that really matter most.” The New Year’s Eve dread, for those similarly prone, sets in right about now, said 29year-old Doree Lewak, who wrote “The Panic Years: A Guide to Surviving Smug Married Friends, Bad Taffeta and Life on the Wrong Side of 25 Without a Ring.” “Women still feel huge pressure around the holidays — and certainly exacerbated by New Year’s — to have a date,” said Lewak, in New York City. “I don’t think that moment has passed.” Lewak interviewed about 300 20-something and 30something women for her look at single life. “An overwhelming number felt angst and despair during the holidays and especially in places like New York, where the holidays really loom large,” she said. New Year’s Eve and the midnight kiss, Lewak said, “are “so tied up with having a significant other. I don’t think women can articulate why. It’s just so built into our DNA.”
share. When one woman found out that her weatherman husband was having an affair, she scrawled “666” on his forehead when he was sleeping. He couldn’t rub it off before his next television broadcast. “I think revenge can be healthy when it’s handled well,” Gallagher says. “It can stop you from feeling powerless or victimized.” The best retaliation story Gallagher shares is her own. Years ago, Gallagher’s then-boyfriend said he was going to Switzerland to see a friend who was dying of cancer. A few weeks later, a woman called Gallagher and said she
had been with him in Italy. “I was seething,” Gallagher recalls. Naturally, she broke up with him. But she also got him back. Knowing how much he loved his car, Gallagher unscrewed the panel to his door and planted a marble. For months, her ex-boyfriend drove around wondering where the incessant rattle was coming from. It made him crazy. Mechanics were equally baffled. Eventually, he had the car stripped. There he found the marble, with a note that said, “You finally found it, sucker.”
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