two become one WHEN
As summer casts its warm glow on lovers, some will be planning a trip to the altar with that special person who makes the heart skip. But, remember, marriage represents a sacred vow. It’s not just a romantic day to recognise two people’s love but is a legal contract and a financial partnership. If you are fortunate, your union will be an enduring love affair with your best friend, but, first, there’s planning to be done so your big day goes smoothly. Sort the finer details early to avoid a muddle on the eve of your wedding day.
words WISE
Couples starting out on marriage are undoubtedly in for the adventure of their lives. However, they may have expectations which might or might not work out and they may have asked advice from others…or not! Some will have steadfast views on what marriage should be but these may change in a day, a month or over the years. Every marriage follows its own path and sometimes hearing what others have to say is not welcome. But here are a few snippets of advice offered by well-meaning family and friends to help newlyweds maintain a loving relationship and to smooth the way should the marital road sometimes hit a rocky patch. • Treat your spouse as your best friend. Friendship endures long after the heady days of early romance settle into work, mortgage (perhaps) family
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South March 2020.indd 16
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responsibilities and just everyday living. Marriage isn’t 50/50. You both have to give each other 100 percent! Forget the silent treatment when things don’t go to plan. Talk to each other when upset and work through problems so they don’t become lingering issues. Always be nice to your spouse. It’s amazing how rude or inconsiderate some people can be to those closest to them – that’s not the way to remain in a loving relationship. Make time for regular date nights even when life seems intent on crowding these out. Realise that not everything said in a disagreement or rash
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moment is meant as it is said or is a personal attack – we can all let emotions get the better of us – be forgiving. To move forward in life, don’t look backwards. Don’t fret over what went wrong in the past; focus on a happier future. When life isn’t quite as you would want it, remember the way you felt on your wedding day; look for the qualities that endeared you to each other. Make decisions together from the very beginning – work as a team in every aspect of your relationship. Don’t put your marriage on hold while raising children. Make time for each other. If times seem tough always remember – more than half of
the world’s population would just love to have your worst day. • There won’t always be a winner and a loser in every argument; even when you win, you could end up losing. • Remember to laugh a lot – together! See the funny side of things; don’t take life too seriously or take to heart the occasional stumble. • Love each other as you are, not as you wish the other to be – people change, even the people we marry and we change too. But, by staying focused on the good – the essence of what you love about your spouse – you can roll together with the changes, embrace them and stay in love. www.southmagazine.co.nz
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