Issue 883

Page 1

FREE PUBLICATION

Of Douglas & Elbert Counties

DIESEL EMISSIONS TEST Only $30!

Offer valid with cash only. Exact change a must. Will accept credit cards or check but full rate of $40 applies.

303.841.6527

6250 E. Pine Lane Parker, CO 80138

TIDBITS® VISITS

THE SMITHSONIAN by Kathy Wolfe

Tidbits is honoring Smithsonian Day on August 10 by bringing you some facts on this institution, home to 137 million artifacts, works of arts, and specimens. • James Smithson was an English chemist, mineralogist, and Oxford graduate who devoted his life to science, authoring 27 published papers on mineralogy. Although he had never even visited the United States, upon his death in 1829, he left his entire estate “to the United States of America, to found at Washington, under the name of the Smithsonian Institution, an Establishment for the increase and diffusion of knowledge among men.”

• Smithson’s bequest was sent to the U.S. in the form of Diesel Repair & Performance gold sovereigns filling 11 boxes, along with his personal items, scientific papers, minerals, and library. The gold was sent to the U.S. treasury in Philadelphia to be Introducing our Newest reminted, a total of $508,318. Hygienist... • Smithson died and was buried in Italy, and the U.S. consulate in Genoa maintained his grave site there until 1903. That year, famous inventor Alexander Graham Bell, who was a regent for the Smithsonian, traveled to Genoa with his wife to have the body exhumed. A LIFETIME OF turn the page for more!

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ISSUE 883 • August 4, 2014

Where Princesses Become Swans. World-Class experience, instruction and facilities Enrolling now for fall classes!

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Parker Dance Academy

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10470 S Progress Way #100 • Parker, CO 80134

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German car repair focusing on Volkswagen and Audi

We Buy Junk Cars & Trucks CA$H ON THE SPOT

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11028 S Pikes Peak Dr • Parker • 303-841-2666 190 S Wilcox Unit C • Castle Rock • 303-660-2696

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Brookside Inn A New Philosophy of Skilled Care

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Services include: • 24-hour skilled nursing care • 25+ years of experience in orthopedic, spinal, cardiovascular and neurological rehabilitation. • Complementary Alternative Medicine Program. Acupuncture, aromatherapy, comfort touch message and Reiki.

• Diverse activities program 7 days a week. We have been locally owned and operated since our inception in 1997.

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“We are committed to maintaining a beautiful facility and providing the best in skilled care for those residing here.”


2

Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties

SMITHSONIAN (continued): • Bell and his wife accompanied Smithson’s body across the ocean to the United States, and in January, 1904, the body was escorted through Washington, D.C. by the U.S. Cavalry to Smithson’s final resting place, a crypt on the first floor of the Smithsonian Castle. • There are 19 different museums and galleries in the Smithsonian complex, including the Air and Space Museum, National Zoological Park, American History Museum, American Indian Museum, National Portrait Gallery, and Natural History Museum. The American History Museum, with over three million artifacts in its collection, contains everything from a piece of Plymouth Rock to the ruby slippers and scarecrow costume from 1939’s The Wizard of Oz. Lewis and Clark’s compass from their 1803 expedition is housed there as well as a section of the first transatlantic telegraph cable, completed in 1866. • In 1920, Harry Burt started the Good Humor Ice Cream Company and operated a fleet of 12 trucks complete with freezers and bells. His salesmen wore crisp white uniforms and were required to tip their hats to all ladies. The Smithsonian is home to a 1938 Chevrolet Good Humor truck, a valuable piece of American history. • In February of 1960, four African-American students sat down at a Greensboro, North Carolina Woolworth’s lunch counter, filling seats vacated by white customers. After being refused service, they stayed in their seats, initiating a peaceful sit-in against racial inequality, and launching a pivotal phase of the civil rights movement. A section of that lunch counter, along with four stools, is a popular landmark in the American History Museum. • One of the most popular exhibits in the Smithsonian is the Star-Spangled Banner flag, also called the Great Garrison flag, which flew over Baltimore’s Fort McHenry during the War of 1812. This flag was the inspiration for Francis Scott Key, who penned the now-famous poem “Defense of Fort McHenry,” which was later set to music, becoming the U.S. national anthem. The flag with its 15 stars and 15 stripes was sewn by a Baltimore woman named Mary Pickergill in 1813 for $405.90. After the war, the banner was in the possession of the family of Major George Armistead, the commander of the fort, until 1912, when it was donated to the Smithsonian. It has undergone several restorations, the first in 1914 and the most recent, a long-term restoration begun in 1999. • Pieces from the life of George Washington abound in the Smithsonian, including a wisp of his hair, a brick from his childhood home, a letter hand-written by him in 1785, his uniform from the Revolutionary War, and wood from his coffin. There is also a 12-ton marble statue of the nation’s first president, completed in 1841, sitting atop a granite pedestal. Walk over to the National Portrait Gallery and you can see Gilbert Stuart’s famous painting of Washington, the image we see every day on the dollar bill. • The world of sports is well-represented at the Smithsonian with a pair of 1823 roller skates, Muhammad Ali’s boxing gloves, Bobby Orr’s hockey gloves, Michael Jordan’s Chicago Bulls jersey, and jockey Steve Cauthen’s horse-racing silks. The speed skates worn by Olympic gold medalist Apolo Ohno at the 2002 Winter Olympics, Arthur Ashe’s tennis racket, Roger Staubach’s football jersey, and Hank Aaron’s baseball jersey are all part of the collection of 6,000 sports items.

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Interesting Stuff

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Call today to schedule your free no obligation inspection


Pet Page

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Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties

Cat Q & A "Your Hometown Service Center" Quality Service on all Foreign and Domestic Vehicles

10270 S. Dransfeldt Rd., #400 Parker, CO 80134 FAX: 303-841-8050 gregsautorepair.com

Look What the Humans Dragged In!

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70 E-4

Pine Lane

Greg’s Auto Repair is a local, family owned and Lincoln Ave. LOWES

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ty Mile Twen

neighborhood mechanics for years.

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Beumel, has been one of Parker’s most trusted

Parker Rd.

and reliable automotive services. Owner, Greg

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Main St. WALMART

A S E C E R T I F I E D MA S T E R T E C H N I C I A N W I T H OV E R 2 3 YE A R S E X P E R I E N C E

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Cottonwood

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operated, small business delivering quality

3

E-470

8900 S. Brompton Way Parker, CO 80134

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HELP WANTED Part Time Full Time Big Time Income Call for an interview Brad @ 303-814-1400 Book signing Meet local author, Michelle Parker Poor Richard's Book Shoppe 19402 East Mainstreet Parker CO Sunday, July 13 11am - 1pm We'll be just a few steps from the Farmers Market

We live in a world full of microbes, pollens, parasites, insects, environmental poisons and whatever lurks outside your house. Even totally indoor pets are exposed to the outdoors by people bringing things home on their shoes, cloths and body. Knowing that your pets are constantly exposed these outdoor villains, it is wise to take precautions to prevent giving your pets diseases. The first example is potting soil and plants added to the great indoors. Contaminated soil with intestinal parasites has been reported in 20-25% of soil samples examined by the Centers for Disease Control (CDC). Cats playing in plant soil are exposed to roundworms, microbes, decaying plant material and toxic elements. Many plants can be toxic to humans and cats so know which plants can be poisonous. Walking in grass, crossing paths with a sneezing cat, stepping in dog or cat feces, picking up a flea or tick are just a few things that can happen throughout the day that you can bring home. If it often said by pet owners, my cat stays indoors and he does not need vaccinations, deworming, or other preventive medications – Wrong! Your cat can sometimes be at greater risk because it is assumed that there are no risks at all. Indoor cats don’t need vaccinations! Isolated humans and animals appear to be more susceptible to outbreaks of seasonal diseases because they are not exposed to small amounts of microbes every day in the environment. When high risk viruses become epidemic (flu/colds with humans or upper respiratory disease/feline distemper with cats) spreading to indoor populations can be a huge threat. Examples: Primates in zoos (apes, monkeys, lemurs, chimps, etc.) are isolated in cages or behind glass but when a human flu or cold epidemic strikes an area the zoo primates often get the diseases. People who cross paths with sick cats or where sick cats have been can bring that virus home on their shoes to give it to their indoor cat. Have you ever been checked out by your cat when you arrive home – the cat sniffing you coat, shoes and briefcase or purse. Wham – they are exposed! If you have concerns it is best to talk with our nurses at Cat Specialist to setup a good preventive health program for your cat(s). “An ounce of prevention is worth an pound of cure.” – Ben Franklin

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Dr. James K. Olson is "The Meow Doc", a nationally recognized veterinarian specializing exclusively in cats. Dr. Olson holds the title of Diplomate, Feline Specialty, from the American Board of Veterinary Practitioners. He is certified to practice nuclear medicine by the State of Colorado Department of Radiaton Safety. His practice is located in Castle Rock, Colorado. For more information please visit his comprehensive website: CatSpecialist.com

Is Your Cat Protected? We're a full service CATS ONLY clinic with a big difference. We feature the only practicing Board Certified Feline Specialist in Colorado.

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4

Twenty Questions

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Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties

The Gem Advisor Beryl

Scott McQueen

Emeralds, aquamarines, and the charming pink of morganite have left gemstone-lovers spellbound for years. They are famous for their variety of color, sparkling brilliance, and suitability for jewelry. What many don’t realize is that they belong to a single family - they are all beryls. The rare red beryl, the golden beryl, the yellowishgreen heliodor, the pink, or the colorless goshenite beryl are all

Sudoku Made Possible By

Bob Lowry Neighborhood Exclusive Agent

303.688.1966

different but have similar chemical and physical properties, making them related. Beryl is found in the gemstone deposits of South America and

setts where goshenite berly is mined. The skilled hands of gemstone cutters turn them into a multitude of many-faceted shapes. In particular, beryls are well suited to rectangular or square step cuts, since it takes a clear design to bring out to the full the transparent beauty of this colorful gemstone family.

Scott McQueen is the owner of Pinetree Jewelers, Parker’s oldest jewelry store established in 1976. 2 store locations: 11028 S. Pikes Peak Drive in Parker and 190 S Wilcox in Castle Rock. For more call 303.841.2666 or 303-660-2696

Neighborhood Exclusive Agent

Madagascar, in Russia and the Ukraine, and in Goshen, Massachu-

Allstate Insurance Company 201 S Wilcox St. #2A Castle Rock

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20 QUESTIONS All the answers begin with “V”

303.688.1966 Bob Lowry

those of Central and West Africa. However, they also occur on

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Gluton Free & Vegetarian Options Available Monday - Tuesday open 4:00 p.m. - 9:00 p.m. Wednesday - Sunday 11:00 a.m. - 10:00 p.m.

By Ron Ross What is the common term applied to any material for preventive inoculation, particularly a preparation of killed bacteria that will bring about the formation of antibodies and thus confer immunity? Where did George Washington’s army camp in the critical winter of 1777-1778, now a historic site in southeastern Pennsylvania? What is the common term referring to a mechanical device for starting, stopping, or regulating the flow of fluid through a pipe or passageway? Name the largest city in the Canadian province of British Columbia. Name the guy who played opposite Mary Tyler Moore in a popular 60s TV sitcom still seen on re-runs. Name the famous Dutch Expressionist painter (18531890). Name the palace, which is also a city, which is also a state, where the Pope lives. What did they call the variety show popular in the U.S. in the 1890’s and flourished until the early 1930’s? Caracas is the capital city of this South American country. What Italian city is famous for its network of canals where the chief means of transportation has been gondolas? What “goddess of love” did Frankie Avalon sing about in 1959? What state is known of as the “Green Mountain State?” Name the beautiful palace where the kings of France resided for many years. Amerigo ___________ (1454-1512) is the Italian explorer after whom America is named. What is the name for the special garments worn by clergy during the Eucharistic liturgy or Mass? What is the capital city of Austria? What was the more common term referring to the Norsemen or Northmen, the seafaring raiders who swept out of Scandinavia during the 9th, 10th, and 11th centuries? What do you call the alto of the violin family, having strings tuned a fifth below those of the violin proper? Complete the title of this official State song: “Carry Me Back to Old ___________.” What do you get when liquid rock, or magma, emerges from the crust of the earth? Answers: 1. Vaccine 2. Valley Forge 3. Valve 4. Vancouver 5. Dick Van Dyke 6. Vincent Van Gogh 7. Vatican 8. Vaudeville 9. Venezuela 10. Venice 11. Venus 12. Vermont 13. Versailles 14. Vespucci 15. Vestments 16. Vienna 19. Vikings 20. Viola 21. Virginia 22. Volcano ©2014 Ronald D. Ross


Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties

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Classifieds

Classified Education

HELP WANTED

THE OCEAN Corp. 10840 Rockley Road, Houston, Texas 77099 Train for a new Career. *Underwater Welder. Commercial Driver. *NDT/Weld Inspector. Job placement assistance. Financial Aid available for those who qualify 1-800-321-0298

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Pets

I HAVE a beautiful Siberian Husky full of love he/she only 4 months still a puppy ,they have a micro chip and a AKC certificate only reason they for sale NEED 18-24 energetic people to travel with young successful business is I m moving to Houston Texas and i can t take them with me.i they are potty group. Paid travel. No experience trained and trained to sit and give you a necessary $500-$750 weekly. 702high five.They have all their shots not 468-7890 spade and is fully up to date with all their paper work to prove it, also has their own Denver Post Carrier Needed vet.951eight8eight0552 or email woodRoutes are currently open in ruffrhonda09 at gmail.com last pic was the Elizabeth area for carriers when she was a baby bhlslw@maskr.me

Help Wanted

Registered Scottish Highland Bull Calf FOR SALE Superior Blood lines and Confirmation Born 1/3/14. Halter Broke. Serious Buyers Only. 720-733-8875

Miscellaneous WANTS TO purchase minerals and other oil & gas interests. Send details P.O. Box 13557, Denver, Co 80201

Sporting Goods NEW "NO GUNSMITH" Scope Kit for Mosin Nagant rifles. INCLUDES: 2~7x32MM VARIABLE POWER SCOUT SCOPE; MOSIN NAGANT SCOUT MOUNT; SCOPE RINGS. TRADES? Will consider trades for modern replica black powder revolvers, rifles and shotguns. NO FIREARMS ARE INCLUDED! SCOPE SPECIFICATIONS: Wide Angle 2~7 Variable Power, + Windage/Elevation: 1 Click = 1/4", + Manufacturer's lifetime Warranty SCOPE MOUNT SPECIFICATIONS: + Fits Mosin Nagant 7.62x54R Rifles and Carbines LIFETIME WARRANTIES. ronhart77@juno.com

Auto Parts

FRENCH BULLDOG puppies! Taking orders on color and sex that you are looking for! (Brindle, Fawn, Black, White, and White and Red)Registered with the CKC, shots up to date and dewormed! Contact our website for more info , contacts us too via our website : http:// lovelyfrenchiebulldogs.webnode.com/ britneypride2000@gmail.com TOP QUALITY english bulldogs puppies,they are all well trained. Loving, healthy and playful. Beautiful, great coat. Brought into our home; loved and socialized with people and other pets. I find pleasure as I give loving families the opportunity to own a puppy. Text us now if you need a new family member pet. Text us on 240-316-4098 ywblmz@ maskr.me Adorable, healthy english bulldog puppies; AKC registered, pedigree, microchip, current vaccinations, and one year health guarantee. Hand raised and well socialized around kids and other bullie.. we look forward to helping you find your next best friends. please text us at 240316-4098 qmxqqe@maskr.me CUTE YORKIE Puppies for Adoption Text Me At ........201-468-9268 Hello i have a cute Yorkie Puppies for a new home.they are vet checked and potty trained registered very friendly with kids and other home pets. so if interested just contact me via for more info pls contact me directly via ( Text Me At ........201468-9268 ) csgivz@maskr.me

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FRENCH BULLDOG puppies! Taking orders on color and sex that you are looking for! (Brindle, Fawn, Black, White, and White and Red)Registered with the CKC, shots up to date and dewormed! Contact our website for more info , contacts us too via our website : http:// lovelyfrenchiebulldogs.webnode.com/ britneypride2000@gmail.com GORGEOUS YORKIE Puppies Text Me At ........201-468-9268 Gorgeous Yorkie Puppies for adoption,fawns and bridles, male and female, they come with full registration. They are ready to become your lifelong companion,We only breed show quality temperament and health. Our Yorkie Puppies are socialized with children and other animals. for more info pls contact me directly via ( Text Me At ........201-468-9268 ) mgctan@maskr.me

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delivering The Denver Post out of the Elizabeth warehouse. Requires: Must be at least 18 Dependable transportation Current Auto Insurance Valid Driver’s License Ability to work early morning hours Earn $1000 a month If Interested, contact Andrea at (303)587-3524

5

Monument Woodmoor

Mc Donalds

Exit 161

HOURS: Monday through Sunday 9:00 AM - 7:00 PM


Of Of Douglas Douglas County County Colorado Colorado

Home Improvement

NATURAL HORMONE BALANCING Step 1: TEST THE HORMONE LEVELS WITH A SIMPLE SALIVA HOME COLLECTION KIT

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That time of year when we all strive for pristine, dark-green lawns and often end up with anything but. I guess it really isn’t easy being green! If your lawn has taken on every shade of the rainbow, it may be trying to communicate an underlying – and potentially major – issue. Here’s the color guide from Weed Man USA. It is really helpful stuff for those with yelling yards. Yellow A yellowing lawn may signify a lack of essential nutrients, such as nitrogen, sulfur, iron, and magnesium. Before you run to your local home store and buy nutrient-rich fertilizer in bulk, however, keep in mind that over-fertilization can lead to similar discoloration. A balanced distribution of nutrients is essential for optimal lawn health. White Improper cultural practices – such as night watering and mowing with a dull blade – may increase the likelihood of lawn disease and discoloration. If your lawn exhibits a whitish tinge, begin watering in the morning only and ensure that your mower blade is kept razor sharp. Ah, summer at last! That time of year when we all strive for pristine, dark-green lawns and often end up with anything but. I guess it really isn’t easy being green! If your lawn has taken on every shade of the rainbow, it may be trying to communicate an underlying – and potentially major – issue. Here’s the color guide from Weed Man USA. It is really helpful stuff for those with yelling yards. Yellow A yellowing lawn may signify a lack of essential nutrients, such as nitrogen, sulfur, iron, and magnesium. Before you run to your local home store and buy nutrient-rich fertilizer in bulk, however, keep in mind that over-fertilization can lead to similar discoloration. A balanced distribution of nutrients is essential for optimal lawn health.

IER S A E IT ’S N YOU THA INK! TH

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White Improper cultural practices – such as night watering and mowing with a dull blade – may increase the likelihood of lawn disease and discoloration. If your lawn exhibits a whitish tinge, begin watering in the morning only and ensure that your mower blade is kept razor sharp. Light Green More often than not, a light green lawn is one that has been cut too short. “Scalping” shocks the grass plant, causing growth to slow or stop. For a healthy, emerald green lawn, mow at a higher setting to allow for a deeper rooting system. Blue-Green & Silver These smoky hues are typically a sign of drought stress. Areas of the lawn near sidewalks and driveways, under large trees, or on slopes are particularly prone to color transformation before succumbing to drought dormancy. If your lawn has a case of the blues, water it immediately regardless of the time of day. Orange An orange lawn could mean that fertilizers or herbicides have been incorrectly applied. Often, homeowners mistakenly treat their lawns with nonselective herbicides, killing the healthy grass in addition to unwanted weeds. Over-application of fertilizer may also cause a lawn to take on a sickly orange glow. Light Green More often than not, a light green lawn is one that has been cut too short. “Scalping” shocks the grass plant, causing growth to slow or stop. For a healthy, emerald green lawn, mow at a higher setting to allow for a deeper rooting system. Blue-Green & Silver These smoky hues are typically a sign of drought stress. Areas of the lawn near sidewalks and driveways, under large trees, or on slopes are particularly prone to color transformation before succumbing to drought dormancy. If your lawn has a case of the blues, water it immediately regardless of the time of day. Orange An orange lawn could mean that fertilizers or herbicides have been incorrectly applied. Often, homeowners mistakenly treat their lawns with nonselective herbicides, killing the healthy grass in addition to unwanted weeds. Over-application of fertilizer may also cause a lawn to take on a sickly orange glow. If your grass is far from green, you don’t need to worry. Small changes to your care routine can improve the health and vigor of your lawn very quickly. If you’re still feeling overwhelmed, you can check with your local lawn care professional to see if it is time to bring the big guns in. So what shape is your lawn in this summer?

Chris Dominy is the owner of Parker based BestYard.com and Weed Man Lawn Care. If you have additional questions about your lawn, search our lawn care library at denver. weedmanusa.com, or visit www.bestyard.com. Please see our ad on Page 1 of Tidbits!

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Ask the Dentist

by Dennis L. Burgner, D.D.S.

Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties

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Master, Academy of General Dentistry

Fighting Cavities with ‘Sugar’ ?? Q. Can we really fight tooth decay with ‘sugar’? A. Yes! An important way to fight cavities is with the sugar substitute sweetener Xylitol. Xylitol is a natural sugar that not only helps fight cavities, but can actually prevent them. Q. What is Xylitol? A. Xylitol is a naturally-occuring sugar alcohol found in the fibers of fruits and vegetables and other plants. It is found in berries, oats, mushrooms, corn husks, sugar cane, trees, and many other plants. It is practically as sweet as table sugar, and is used as a sweetener in certain brands of chewing gum, mints, toothpastes, mouth rinses, candy, lemonade mixes, and allpurpose sweeteners. (Be sure to check the label!) Q. A.

Timothy G Brown, Agent

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7

Brookside Inn Wins Bronze Award No one was more excited than the Schumann family, the founders and owners of Brookside Inn, when the facility was given the Bronze Award from American Health Care Association. The Award recognizes organizations for their vision, mission and appreciation for customersʻ needs and environment. “What an honor!” said Sarah Schumann. The Schumann family has nurtured Brookside Inn since itʼs birth in 1997 but the heart of Brookside Inn began to beat years earlier while Dr. Fredrick Schumann was still practicing medicine. The Schumannʼs involved themselves in elder advocacy. This journey would lead them to envision a new brand of health care - a skilled nursing facility that would not only fulfill medical needs but be a thriving community that would encourage and celebrate life. The Award was not Brookside Innʼs only achievement, the facility also maintained a five star rating from the Center for Medicare and Medicaid Services which makes four consecutive years Brookside Inn has received the distinction. “We are so pleased with the many acknowledgements and awards weʼve received and we know Brookside Inn will continue to top industry standards and set the bar for performance excellence.” said Sarah Schumann. See our ad on page 1 of Tidbits! 303-688-2500

How does ‘sugar’ (Xylitol) fight tooth decay? Xylitol fights cavities in several ways: (1) It attracts and then inhibits, or starves out, the specific bacteria that cause tooth decay. (2) Unlike ordinary table sugar, Xylitol does not break down, or ferment, into harmful acids that demineralize tooth enamel and cause a cavity. (3) Xylitol creates just the right chemistry in the saliva to re-mineralize the Calcium and Phosphate minerals back into damaged tooth structure and “heal” the early cavity.

Q. Is Xylitol safe? A. Xylitol is safe for humans; it is deadly for dogs. Xylitol has no known toxicity in humans. However, “man’s best friend” does not tolerate Xylitol, even in small amounts. Therefore, since many dogs have a “sweet tooth”, they can easily snoop around and find their master’s stash of gum, mints, or candy. Be sure to keep xylitolcontaining products out of your dog’s reach. If you suspect your dog has consumed any Xylitol, get him/her to the Vet immediately!

New Beginning

Q. How much Xylitol do I need? A. Research suggests one should consume six to ten grams per day. A stick of Xylitol gum or mint typically has about one gram of Xylitol. For optimum effect in fighting cavities, it’s important to consume Xylitol throughout the day; so it will continually fight those “bad bugs” that cause cavities, and aid in remineralizing.

Community Church 10530 S Progress Way, Suite 103 Parker, CO 80134-4029

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KEEP YOUR TEETH AND GUMS HEALTHY FOR A LIFETIME You can Ask the Dentist by calling Dr. Burgner at 720-870-9500, or consult his website: www. ParkerLumineers.com Dr Burgner has served on the Fellowship Examination Committee of the Academy of General Dentistry (AGD), and received national recognition awards from that 30,000 member organizaation. He has also been recognized in the local magazine 5280. He practices General Family and Cosmetic Dentistry in Parker, Colorado.

WHOLE HOUSE SPECIAL! $425 up to 16 windows Restrictions apply. Offer Expires 7-31-14

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Douglas County Sheriff, Dave Weaver, Needs Your Help

FUGITIVE OF THE WEEK Name:

RONALD EDWARD RIVERA 43 years old 5’10” 280 lbs Brown hair, Brown eyes LKA: Parker CO Charges: ID Theft, Unauth use of Financial Trans Device, Theft

TAKE NO ACTION TO APPREHEND THIS PERSON YOURSELF For immediate action call 303.660.7500 or call your local law enforcement To provide information and remain anonymous, call the Douglas County Sheriff’s Office Tips Hotline: 303.660.7579 or E-mail us at DCSO@dcsheriff.net.

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NEED LEGAL REPRESENTATION? Call Attorney Karen Breslin • Experienced • Reliable • Reasonable Rates • Family Law • Equine Law • Other Civil Matters • Misdemeanor Criminal Defense • Payment Plans Available • Serving Elbert & Douglas

303-968-7159

karen.breslin@comcast.net 9800 Mt. Pyramid Court • Suite 400 • Englewood CO 80112


Laugh Lines

Tidbits® of Douglas & Elbert Counties 8

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ROOFING

IDIOT SIGHTING We had to have the garage door repaired. The Sears repairman told us that one of our problems was that we did not have a 'large' enough motor on the opener. I thought for a minute, and said that we had the largest one Sears made at that time, a 1/2 horsepower. He shook his head and said, 'Lady, you need a 1/4 horsepower.' I responded that 1/2 was larger than 1/4. He said, 'NO, it's not..' Four is larger than two.' [Common Core math] We haven't used Sears repair since.

I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, 'Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?' To which I replied, 'If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?' He smiled knowingly and nodded, 'That's why we ask.' The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine. She asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, 'What on earth are blind people doing driving?!' She was a probation officer in Wichita , KS How would you pronounce this child's name? "Le-a" Leah?? NO Lee - A?? NOPE Lay - a?? NO Lei?? Guess Again. This child attends a school in Kansas City, Missouri. Her mother is irate because everyone is getting her name wrong. It's pronounced "Ledasha". When the Mother was asked about the pronunciation of the name, she said, "the dash isn't silent." SO, if you see something come across your desk like this please remember to pronounce the dash.

e? g ma a E s il D FRE tion a H ec p Ins

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My daughter and I went through the McDonald's take-out window and I gave the clerk a $5 bill. Our total was $4.25, so I also handed her a quarter. She said, 'you gave me too much money.' I said, 'Yes I know, but this way you can just give me a dollar bill back. She sighed and went to get the manager, who asked me to repeat my request. I did so, and he handed me back the quarter, and said 'We're sorry but we could not do that kind of thing.' The clerk then proceeded to give me back $1 and 75 cents in change. My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for 'minimal lettuce.' He said he was sorry, but they only had iceburg lettuce.

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