he gets overwhelmed or something. I say it’s just
To you?
the way he fights. I say I can’t read minds. I don’t
To anyone.
know, I say. Ask him.
I guess, I said. Yeah. I mean I don’t think
Have you ever asked him?
about it that much. Not in that I’ve-been-plan-
Yeah, I guess. I don’t know. He never real-
ning-my-wedding-since-I-was-six kind of way.
ly gives me an answer.
wedding would you want?
She takes notes on some paper. I imagine
If we got married, he said, what kind of a
she’s writing down that I’m an idiot.
Um. I don’t know, I said. I guess I would—
I would want it to be real big, he said. I
She asks me why I think I keep taking him
back.
was looking at him, but he was keeping his eyes My mom thinks it’s daddy issues, I say
on the ducks.
with heavy irony. She ignores my tone of voice.
Okay, I said.
Do you get along with your father?
What about kids? he asked. Do you want
Sure, I say. Yeah.
kids?
Did you always?
I—
I think so.
I want three kids, he said. And I want to
Your mom says he wasn’t around a lot.
live here. Near my family.
Do you think maybe that’s what this is about?
life. For our life.
I cross my arms across my chest. I say,
He went on about what he wanted for his
My mom is the one who has issues with my dad,
He always asked me what I thought first.
okay? Not me. Maybe she’s the one who needs
He always cut me off before I got to give
therapy.
my answer.
Hmph, she says. Her lip twitches. She
scratches a few notes in her notepad. Hmph.
6 When I was in elementary school, I was
5
not what you would call smart. I was maybe avOne time when we were “on,” he brought
erage as a student, which never really bothered
up marriage. It was early fall. We were sitting at
me. I was happy where I was. At least until third
a park by the duck pond.
grade.
Have you ever thought about getting mar-
ried? he asked.
In third grade I met Eddie. Eddie was pretty smart. And I thought he was pretty cute