“Look in the mirror and tell yourself you are worthy of everything you want and need in life. Only you can choose to be happy and only you can choose the path to love yourself.” going to get through it. I knew I already had family weight issues, now add this steaming pile of shit news to it - I truly never thought I could get down to a healthy and normal weight and back to a normal human being. So basically I sat there and did nothing and moped and felt sorry for myself, got divorced and live with my cat all alone now. JUST KIDDING! That’s not how this ends! I decided after being told if I don’t get this under control I can’t have babies, that I was going to cut out all processed foods from my life, start working out again, and start really looking at myself in the mirror and finding that person I knew was still in there, that loves herself and feels good about who she is and how she looks! Did I mention I own a styling business? (Shameless plug Bucherstyling.com go check it out). Try not feeling confident and comfortable in your own skin, body, and clothes but trying to help other women feel that way. I practice what I preach, not preach what I don’t believe. So getting back to me was what I needed to do more than anything. I’m a firm believer that the glass is always half full, there’s always a silver lining, and your attitude can change everything. And, like my Nana always says, you have to choose to be happy. So that’s what I did. Every day was hard, I didn’t always feel the
love when I looked in the mirror, I didn’t always feel like going to the gym, I can’t tell you how desperately I wanted to eat the slice of pizza everyone around me was eating or get the popcorn at the movie theater but I knew I couldn’t, and I didn’t. I finally started realizing that where I was at in my weight was okay, and that I needed to learn to feel good and confident where I was at because realistically it might not change. After months, I finally started truly feeling good about myself again, and to be honest I saw changes going to the gym and working out with my trainer. Clothes started fitting differently, they started feeling comfortable and not forced. I was starting to feel sexy again. I might have even gotten naked in front of my husband once or twice in this time. Yeah you heard me naked in front of my husband! And I didn’t shutter away from it. I started feeling a little more like me every day. Every day I tried I felt myself coming back. It has officially been a year and a half as I write my story for you, and as I sit here reflecting on one of the lowest points in my life, I realize that I needed that moment in my life to happen. Without that diagnosis and finally having an “answer” I would never have gotten the motivation and push I needed to get my life back on track and take it back into my own hands. Today I am down almost 25 pounds, I have my acne under control, I take my medica-
tion every day, and guess what? My husband can’t keep his hands off of me! To be honest, even at my lowest weight in high school, I never felt this good about who I am and how I look. I got me back. I got a better version of me. I got my self love back. I wear my clothes with confidence, and I walk around flaunting my hard work with pride, because I earned every ounce of muscle on my body, and I feel good about where I’m at. Now is my journey anywhere close to being done? Absolutely not. This will be something I struggle with for the rest of my life, but today, in this moment I am happy, I am healthy, and I will continue working on losing weight and being the healthiest version of myself I possibly can. One day my husband and I will have our little baby Bucher’s running around and I’ll be there to catch them. PCOS is just a word, it’s just a thing, it’s just something I have to live with, and something a lot of women have to live with. I learned I’m not alone in this. But I will never let it define me again or let it make me feel unworthy of love not only from my husband but from me. I encourage you, if you’ve made it to this point in my story, to look in the mirror and tell yourself you are worthy of everything you want and need in life. Only you can choose to be happy and only you can choose the path to love yourself. So love yourself. It’s the best medicine you can give yourself.