RITUALS & HERITAGE
By Lubna Imran
She was a desi girl. He was a gora boy. They met and became friends. With the passage of time love happened culminating in marriage. Yes, matches are certainly made in heaven! Sounds clichéd? Well, sometimes clichés are true, as was the case here. After living in the UK for a considerable time and having attended a few wedding receptions of desi turned gora couples and desi marrying a gora it was the first time that I attended such a wedding in my home country Pakistan. It was a marriage of two different worlds. Without getting into a debate or the raised eyebrow scenario in our society on such matters, the fact is that Pakistani women have been marrying foreigners, for ages now, so here we will talk about the momentous occasion only. Beenish a Pakistani-American and Steve, a born and bred American met at the workplace, friendship happened and then her best friend asked her to marry him. Once the families met it was agreed 8 This Fortnight in PAKISTAN
that the eventful day will take place in Pakistan. Amid much fanfare a week before the marriage vows the song and dance parties’ namely dholki and mehndi ceremonies took place culminating into an afternoon wedding by the seaside. The atmosphere of the pre-wedding ceremonies was jovial to the hilt. At the week-long ceremonies the bride and groom were seen doing the bhangra (Punjabi dance) at the beat of the dhol (drum) performed live before settling down for the rasams (rituals) to start. With a tray containing small cups of diluted mehndi, ubtan, sweets, flower petals and betel leaf to be placed in the couple’s palms respectively the first rasam was the application of ritualistic mehndi (henna)
on the bride and groom’s palms. As tradition has it seven married women, one by one applied ubtan on the bride’s face and hair while showering her with rose petals and wishing her the best of marital life. Here what was most enjoyed by Steve was when his mouth was stuffed with sweets, his favourite being Gulabjamun! With rituals over and dinner served, I got a chance to chit-chat with the groom’s mother Dr. Stephanie, a child specialist by profession. The only obvious question was the pre-conceived notion that she had about Pakistan. In an enthusiastic tone Stephanie said, “Our friends were more apprehensive than we were. They warned us that we would not be able to go out especially in the evening.