A Lesson I’ll Never Forget

A Lesson I’ll Never Forget

JOSEPH VALENTINO

One of the prompts for this magazine article was to write about a memory that had a lasting impact on me. I immediately drifted back to my early years of high school. I shared this story at the ceremony when I was inducted into their Hall of Fame. In my speech, I extolled the virtues of the school and what I valued about my time there. I truly felt so honored to be a member of the Aquinas Hall of Fame. After graduating from Aquinas Institute in Rochester, NY, I went on to college and law school and retired in 2016 from the New York State Appellate Court. When I retired from the Court after 33 years of being on the bench, there was a newspaper article written about me with the headline, ‘Retiring Judge brought humanity to bench.’ The article then went on to describe my integrity and the humanity I showed for all the people that I encountered while on the bench. It meant so much to me. I had always tried to be respectful, honest, and fair with everyone I met, and I hoped that is what I would be remembered for.

Those values were instilled by my parents that most certainly taught me right from wrong. They taught me about respect and how to be a good and generous man someday. They wouldn’t have tolerated misbehaving, cheating or disrespect. Punishments were different in those days. I didn’t ever want to push their limits.

Fast forward to my first year of high school. I was thirteen years old and a typical young man. I liked sports and hanging out with my friends. I liked school, but I definitely enjoyed my social time and playing basketball more. My geometry teacher would always give us a test to take home on Friday to be handed back to him on Monday. On Tuesday, we would receive our papers with the grade achieved. One of those weekends, I was too busy playing basketball and engaging in other nonacademic events. I felt that I really did not have time to complete this assignment, so I asked my friend, Tom, if I could copy his homework to hand in on Monday. What I didn’t know at the time was that Tom had similar thoughts and he copied his paper from his friend, Mike.

On Monday all three of us handed in our papers like we always did and on Tuesday when the class papers were returned there was no paper on my desk. I looked at Tom and he didn’t get a paper and Tom looked at Mike and Mike didn’t get a paper either. We knew we were in trouble. The teacher was a very tough disciplinarian and a former hockey player in Canada before he joined the priesthood.

Father asked all three of us to stand. We were afraid to look at each other but more afraid to look at the teacher. With our heads hung low, the teacher asked us, “Who copied from whom?” We were caught.

I spoke first. I told him that I copied from Tom. Then Tom indicated that he copied from Mike. Mike just kind of stood there. There really wasn’t anything for him to say, because he actually did the work.

Remember this was a different time and corporal punishment was acceptable. We all knew the inevitable punishment would be “whacks” on our bottoms from the geometry board compass! Of course this happened in front of the class, and even though no one would be caught dead laughing at us for fear that they would have a meeting with the geometry board, it was embarrassing.

Mike received one whack. The slap shattered the silence in the room. There was a collective relief that it was only one whack. The teacher didn’t really tell us what he was going to do after he ordered us to the front of the room, so no one knew how many meetings with the Geometry board we would get.

Tom got his first whack and then another one. If Mike got one, and Tom got two, I dreadfully realized ...don’t forget this was a math class … I was going to receive three whacks!

It was difficult to sit down for supper when I came home that evening after basketball practice. I would not dare tell my parents what happened due to the fact that I would get further punishment from them for cheating and for embarrassing the family. I realize that in today’s society that kind of action by a teacher (or parents) would rightfully not be tolerated and please don’t misunderstand. I am not condoning that type of punishment, but I was taught a very tough lesson. The only thing I must confess with all sincerity is that I never cheated again.

That lesson is one I live by to this day and is one I passed on to my four sons and my nine grandchildren. In all honesty, it probably had something to do with why I showed humanity on the bench too.

Joseph Valentino is a retired New York State Appellate Court Justice. He is the author of The Trial of My Life and spends his days teaching at St. John Fisher University Rochester Institute of Technology, is the Appeals Chairman for Title IX cases at the University of Rochester, golfing when he can and playing music. Please click the link to find his book, The Trial of My Life.