SpeakWell Rocks - How a missed memo changed the trajectory of my life

PATTY KENNEDY

I’ve had some incredible years on this planet. 2018 wasn’t one of them. Simultaneously, I endured a tough divorce and a job lay off.

My sons’ school – St. Joseph’s School in Yorkville, NY - was offering a public speaking class after school. Ironically, although I had given a TEDx talk, had a career as a public speaker and executive communication coach, my older son hated to speak on stage. His not enjoying public speaking wasn’t unusual. Many executives I knew hated it too. They learned because they had to.

To move past the challenges 2018 presented, I knew I needed to find something positive to focus on. I signed up as the “mom coordinator” for the public speaking after-school class. A year later, a friend told me being the coordinator meant I was supposed to sign kids in and out, not actively participate. Somehow, I missed that part of the memo.

I sure am glad I did.

So, there we were - me in the throes of post-divorce life, and this beautiful, motley crew of nine students in the throes of middle school. I wasn’t sure this would end well. But I told myself something we say in SpeakWell to this day: Try anyway.

What happened next changed the trajectory of my life.

It was the third class when the overly talkative students came into the classroom bouncing off the walls. Frustrated, I yelled, “What is going on with you guys?!?” Rather than try and perform the futile task of teaching, I sat down too, and we had a conversation I will never forget. The lesson was about overcoming fear. We covered our fears and mostly how harshly we judge ourselves and one another. Their honesty and authenticity took my breath away. We weren’t anticipating answers. We were just listening.

What I did know was that everyone in that room – maybe most of all me – needed to find their voice, a process, and a place to practice. We may not have had the answers that day, but we committed to walk with each other through the process. Today, we call that process, which is now structured curriculum, SpeakWell.

The first thing I did was pull out Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and motivating behavior. Since infancy, we communicate in ways to get our needs met and it was important to me to try and meet the students’ needs. In between classes, I would talk with educators, teachers, athletic coaches, business leaders, and psychologists to discuss how to develop exercises that helped motivate them and support their needs. As a psychologist who reviewed the program told me, “Expression is the opposite of depression. There is a great need to help teens, and everyone really to express themselves, authentically.” Most importantly, the program had to be fun. After all, you’re only a kid – or an adult – once.

A key component to the program is overcoming fear. As we move through the triumphs and the traumas of our lives, our brain’s job is to decipher “danger/judgement” and try and keep us safe; hence motivating our actions or silencing our voices based on individual experiences. Despite the popular notion that “people would rather die than speak,” truth is, we can speak. We fear being judged. Communication, like most things, is 90% a brain game.

The SpeakWell curriculum focuses on getting the basics right first. If you focus on the fundamentals and strong mindsets whether speaking to two or two thousand, communication becomes a natural extension of one’s mindset.

Interestingly, teaching the art of communication and even mindset can be traced back as early as Greek and Roman times. Those skills were seen as critical to building productive citizens and a civil society. Unfortunately, the teachings were pulled out of school curriculums in the 1940s. I’d argue they’re more necessary than ever especially given the challenges of cell phones, social media, texting, increased rates of depression. I continue to be encouraged by inspired educators who see the far-reaching benefits. As one said, “The program actually helps support my classroom goals, especially when it comes to behavior.”

Eighteen months after that third class, those nine students became the first in the country from a K-8 school to each deliver TEDx talks. The parents, teachers and school community showed up and out to support the effort in incredible ways. During the students’ speeches, I sat crouched in a kindergarten sized chair out of camera view, having memorized every line of every speech. I was at the ready with hand signals in case they needed help. They didn’t. Every single one of them hit it out of the park – each with their own words, and in their own way. Pride beaming from the audience’s faces lit up the room and awe-struck comments from those across the world who watched the videos later are all etched into my brain. I knew how powerful they were and even I was in awe of their strength and poise. When my son walked off the stage, after speaking about the need to find his voice, my mom emotions kicked the coach façade straight to the curb and the tears started to flow. In that moment, I was proud of the solid foundation he built for himself. If I am being honest, I’m proud of the one I rebuilt for myself too.

After that public event, a flurry of school and parent calls, and media articles, I realized we built something really special and wondered if it could be replicated. Today, we’ve grown from serving nine to more than 1,000 students through our programs and camps. We have enlisted incredible mentors including professional athletes, inspiring actors, successful business leaders, journalists, entrepreneurs, and previous students. Thirty-three SpeakWell students have spoken on panel discussions with international companies which has led to scholarships, internships, and even job offers, and by request, we’ve introduced the program to higher education institutions and companies.

Most meaningfully, students have told me how much better they feel about themselves because of the program and what they’ve done as a result. In the words of one student, “It changed my life.” Truth is that the program doesn’t make anyone great. Of course, students learn skills in ways that haven’t been codified into a curriculum before, but what they really learn is strength of self and have a place to practice. When I see someone do something they didn’t think they could, it gives me purpose. That’s my why.

I’m incredibly proud of ALL the students who have participated and thankful to the communities and adults who’ve made it happen. Out of a struggling seed grew the strongest, most beautiful garden one ever did see. And we’re just getting started. In the words of the original nine students – which is now our official, legal name - SpeakWell Rocks.

Your Voice from a kid who had stage fright (Click photo to watch)

Patty Kennedy is an entrepreneur, communication advisor, and founder of SpeakWell - an award-winning communication and leadership program. She has lived and worked in the US, Europe, and Africa, and advised executives, companies and delivered programs around the world. A TEDx and international speaker, Patty was named a “Female Disruptor,” and “30 Women to Watch” for pioneering a study on the impact of communication on our brains. To find out more about SpeakWell Rocks, please visit https://www. speakwellrocks.com/