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Hol l ywood Summercol l ect i on

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r azi l i anar t i s tAngel i caDas shas embar kedonanepi cr es ear ch pr oj ectt ophot ogr aphandcat al og ever ypos s i bl ecol orofhumans ki n. Her“ chr omat i ci nvent or y”pr oj ecti s t i t l edHumanae.Humanaei san i nt er act i vephot ogr aphi c document ar yofs ki nt onewher ei n t hes ubj ect st hems el veshel ps hape t hear tj us tbyvi r t ueofmodel i ng t hemos tuni ver s alofor gans :t hei r s ki n.Hers ubj ect si ncl udepeopl eof bot hgender sandwi der angeof ages ,et hni ci t i es ,andhai rcol or s .So f ar ,t hephot ogr apherhas phot ogr aphedat t endeesatf es t i val s i nBar cel onaandMadr i d,buthopes t owi denhers ampl i ngt oi ncl udet he ent i r egl obe.

backgr oundoft hei rphot owi t h t hei rPant onecol orandas s i gnsa codebas edupont hemat ch.Das s vi ewsherwor kasa“ nonpas s i ve communi cat i onbet ween peopl e. . . t hatdeepeni nan i mpor t ants oci ali s s ue:s oci al , cul t ur al ,andr aci ali dent i t yand mas ks . ”[ Humanae. t umbl r . com]

Bor ni n1 979,Das sgr aduat edwi t ha Bachel orofFi neAr t sf r om t he Feder alUni ver s i t yofRi odeJanei r o ( Br as i l ) ,aMas t er si nPhot ogr aphy ConceptandCr eat i onatt heEFTI Phot ogr aphySchooli nSpai n.Das s t akesphot ogr aphsofhers ubj ect s , ext r act san1 1x1 1pi xels ampl ef r om t hephot ooft hes ubj ect ' sf ace,t hen mat chesi tt ooneoft het hous ands ofs hadesi nt hedes i gni ndus t r y s t andar di nt er nat i onalPant one col ordat abas e.

Br azi li sknownf ori t sr aci al mi xt ur eandr el axedat t i t ude t owar dsphenot ypi cdi ver s i t y.The nat i onof300mi l l i onal r eadyus es af i vecat egor yr aci al cl as s i f i cat i ons ys t em f ori t scens us , buti t sr es i dent sof t ens el f i dent i f y asoneofmor et han200 combi nat i onsofs ki n,hai r ,andeye col ori ncl udi ngbr ancaquemada, r et i nt o,azul mar i nho,and cor debur r oquandof ogo ( l i t er al l yt he' col orofanas st hat hasf l ed' ) ,t hel at t er ,s ur el yan at t emptt oavoi dcl as s i f i cat i on. Das shopest oexpandupont hat pal et t ebyr edef i ni ngourconcept s ofr aceandi dent i t y.

Pant onecol or sr ef l ectt r endsand i nf l uencet hehome,beaut y,and f as hi oni ndus t r i es .Thes ys t em as s i gnsacol orcodet oeachcol ori n i t scat al ogal l owi ngt hecol ort obe r ecr eat edi nanymedi um;t hi s r epl i cat i oni sknownasRealCol or . OnceDas sdet er mi nesas ubj ect ' s Pant onemat ch,s hef i l l st he

Humanaei sawor ki npr ogr es s wi t hDas ss chedul edt oat t end t he EXPO CHGO Expos i t i onof Cont empor ar y/ Moder nAr t& Des i gnonSept ember2023,201 2; al lat t endeeswhovi s i tt heMax Es t r el l aGal l er yi ns t and41 4wi l l havet heopt i onofs i t t i ngf ora s es s i onwi t ht hear t i s t .


W hatmadeyoupas s i onat e aboutf as hi on? I ' veal waysbeenaver ycr eat i ve per s on,however ,r out i nel i f e does n' tneces s ar i l yal l ow met obe cr eat i ve.If oundt hatIcoul dunl eas hmycr eat i vi t yt hr ought he wayIdr es s .I tal l owedmet or eveal mymoodandper s onal i t ywi t hout wor dsorges t ur es ,ands obegan myl oveaf f ai rwi t hf as hi on.Il ove dr es s i ngupbecaus ei tmakesme f eell i keI ' m pl ayi ngachar act eri na movi eandt akesmet oawor l dof f ant as y.

W hoi syourf as hi oni con? Abi texpect edandcl i ched,butI t hi nkAudr eyHepbur ni sunbeat abl e wheni tcomest obei ngaf as hi on i con.Shewast heepi t omeofel eganceandcl as s . Ot hert hant he f actt hatcl ot hi ngf i t t edherper f ect l y,i t ' show s hecar r i edher s el fi nt he cl ot hi ng.Shecoul dt hr ow onapai r ofs l acksands t i l ll ookef f or t l es s l y chi c.Hers t yl ehadt heper f ectbal anceoff emi ni ni t yandboyi s h char m.Shedr es s edt opl eas eher s el fandnotot herpeopl e.

W hati syourf avor i t epi eceof cl ot hi ngoracces s or y? Myf avor i t eacces s or i esar ehead pi ecesofanys or t .Thi si ncl udes f unkyhat s ,t ur bans ,headgearj ewel l er y,bandanas ,et c.Anys i mpl e out f i tcanbeel evat edbyacool headgear ,becaus ei t ' ss ounconvent i onal .


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r e me mbe rpl oppi ngdownont he c ouc ha sac hi l d, ahandf ulofc andy c or ni nmyl e f t , andt her e mot ei nmy r i ght ,hur r i e dl yt r yi ngt ofindHoc us Poc us .Af t e ral onggr ue l i ngdayof pumpki npi c ki ngandhayr i de s , I woul de a ge r l yawai tHal l owe e nby wa t c hi nga l ls or t sofs or c e r yonTV. Now,a l lgr ownupandwi t hapl ac et o c a l lmyown, Ic an’ twai tt ode c kout mya pa r t me ntf ort hef al lf e s t i vi t i e sa ndi fyouha veanyki dl e f ti nya-Ibe t youc a n’ tt oo! Br i ngi ngpe opl ei nt oyourhomeand s ha r i ngf ood,c onve r s at i on, and l a ught e rc a nonl ybee nhanc e dbyone t hi nggr e a tde c or at i on.Ent e r t ai ni ngi n t hef a l li st r ul yaj oy, be c aus ei ti ss o e a s yt oa ddpi e c e sf r om t hebe aut i f ul l y c ha ngi ngl e a ve st oc e nt e r pi e c e sand c aa i l st ova s e s .Thi sye arhowe ve r , I a mr e a l l ye nj oyi ngt hes i mpl e , f a r mi ns pi r e dl ook.Le s st r ul yi smor e a nds ma l lde t a i l sof t e nar emor e a ppr e c i a t e dt hananove r t he t op e ns e mbl e . The r ei snone e dt obr e akyourbudge t bybuyi nge xpe ns i vepl ac es ei ngsor dr i nkc oa s t e r s s i mpl yc uts he e t sof c a r ds t oc kt ot hede s i r e ds i zeandpl ac e unde rt hepl a t e !Anypi e c eofpape r c a ne a s i l ybes pr uc e dupwi t hac ut e s t a mp,r e pe a t e dove randove rt o obt a i nt hef a de de ffe c t . De c or a t i ngf orvar i ousoc c as i onsc an beove r whe l mi ngbe c aus emany pe opl ef e e ll i ket he ydon’ thavet he ba s i c s ,butha veIgotne wsf oryou! Cups ,s i l ve r wa r e , andpl at e swe r e ne ve rme a ntt omat c handt he y c e r t a i nl ydonothavet oc os taf or t une ! The s epl a t e swe r epi c ke dupatafle a ma r ke ta ndmas onj ar sar epr obabl y oneoft hec he ape s tgl as s war eout t he r e .Whe ns hoppi ngf orki t c he n a c c e s s or i e s ,e s pe c i al l yatfle amar ke t s

orvi nt ages hops , don’ tbeaf r a i dt o pi c kupi t e mst hatar emi s ma t c he d. Not hi nghast obeuni f or m,a ndt he pr e s s ur ewi l lbeofft omake e ve r yt hi ngs ope r f e c t .Be s i de s ,wi t ha l l t hede l i c i ousf oodyouwi l lbes e r vi ng, yourgue s t swi l lbet oobus ypi l i ng t he i rpl at e st or e al i zewhati sont he m! Cl os e rt oHal l owe e n, Il i ket obr e a k outal lt hepumpki nt he me dt hi ngsI c anfind.Pumpki nc ooki e s ,pumpki n s we at e r s , andpl as t i cpumpki nst op myl i s tofal lt hi ngsOc t obe r .Pl a s t i c pumpki nsal s ot opmyl i s tofgr e a t e s t Hal l owe e ndé c or .I nmyl i vi ngr oom,I f oundawhi t el ac et abl ec l ot ht opl a c e ove rt hec hai randador ne dt het opt i e r andwr i t i ngt abl ewi t hpl as t i c pumpki ns .The s el il eguysa r egr e a t f oraddi ngal il ec ol orandl i ghtt o dar kc or ne r s . The nagai n, dar kc or ne r sar ee s s e nt i a l f oras pookyat mos phe r e . I ft ha ti s whatyouar egoi ngf or , Is ugge s tt he us eofal otofc andl e s .Che ap,e a s yt o find, andami nors our c eofl i ghta nd war mt h-c andl e sar epe r f e c tf ora ny s or tofhal l way, door way, t abl ec e nt e r , orc or ne rf oranys e as on. Theme mor i e sofr unni ngdoort o door , s hr i e ki ng“t r i c kor t r e a t ” ,a nd be i ngpl e as ant l ys ur pr i s e dt ofinda s c ar yl ooki nghous ewi l lne ve rbe f or go e n.


AnOf f i cei sHi di ngi n YourCl os et R ememberbei ngachi l dandl et t i ng youri magi nat i ont ur nacl os eti nt oa

f unandi magi nat i vepl acet opl ay? A l of tapar t menti nChi cago’ sW es tLoop nei ghbor hoods howcas esavar i et yof s mar twayst ot r ans f or m des i gnat ed s paceswi t har t .Agr eatpi eceofar t onyourwal li saneas yt odobutt her e ar eot herwayst odi s pl ay. Over s i zedf r ees t andi ngpi ecesr eal l y gr oundt hi sl of t .Theent r yhal l way pi cksupi t scol orf r om ayel l ow di s t r es s edt r af f i cs i gn.Foundata r ecl ai meds uppl ys t or ei ts er vesasa gr eats our ceofcol or .Li ght i ngcan makef orani nt er es t i ngwor kofar tal l ofi t sown.Thecor r el at i ngyel l ow pendantl i ght sar eact ual l ys t r ungup wor kl i ght st ypi cal l yus edby cons t r uct i onwor ker s . Awal ldecalt r endhasr eal l yt akenof f wi t ht hei reas yappl i cat i onandvar i et y ofgr aphi cchoi ces .Theycomei nal l s hapesands i zesandar es ol dby mul t i pl er et ai ll ocat i onsandwebs i t es . Somewebs i t esar ededi cat edj us tt o wal ldecal sandof f eracus t om decal s er vi ce.Thephot odecal si nt he hal l wayf eat ur es ubwayphot ogr aphy byJas onCur es cuandemphas i zet he movementt hr ought heent r y. Att heendoft hehal l ways i t sar et r o bi ke,whi chwhennoti nus eact sasa s cul pt ur alel ement .Af t ermovi ng t hr ought heent r yhal l wayt her e’ sa s t ar t l i ngdi s cover y,wr i t i ngont he wal l s ? Us i ngas peci alpai nt ,dr yer as e boar dsar en’ tj us tf ors choolanymor e. Anys moot hpai nt eds ur f acebecomes adr yer as eboar d.I t ’ sacl earf i ni s h andcanbeappl i edoveranycol or .

Cl os ets pacei sgr eatandweal lneed apl acet ohi deourbel ongi ngs .Thi s cl os etwass par edandt ur nedi nt oa homeof f i ce. Taki ngt hedoor sdown i seas ybuts t or i ngt hem i sachal l enge. Thedoor sf r om t hecl os ett ur nedi nt o t hecanvasf orar t wor ki nt he bedr oom. Si t t i ngatt heendoft he bed,eachof4panel sdi s pl ayapi ece oft heAs i ani ns pi r edi mage.The i magewaspr i nt edonr egul arpaper andadher edwi t hat apet hatcanbe peel edof ft hedoor .Togi vet he f or mercl os etmor eofani dent i t ya wal lcover i ngwasmadewi t h cor r ugat edcar dboar d.Topl ayof ft he t ext ur eoft heboar di ti scuti nt o s quar esands eti ndi f f er entdi r ect i ons andpai nt edwi t hawhi t ewas hf i ni s h. Oppos i t et heof f i cenooks i t scomf y s eat i ng.Cl i pboar dsl i net hewal lr eady t ohol dt hel at es ti ns pi r at i on.The f ar t hes tcl i pboar di spai nt edas t r i pe oft hes amecol orast hes i det abl eand des kacces s or y. Exper i ment i ngwi t hdi f f er entf or msof ar ti ses peci al l yr ewar di ngwhenyou canenj oyi tever ydayi nyourhome. Tapi nt oyouri magi nat i onandt hi nk out s i det heboxorr at hert hi nki ns i de t hecl os et .


“ Oppos i t et heof f i cenooks i t scomf y s eat i ng.Cl i pboar dsl i net hewal lr eady t ohol dt hel at es ti ns pi r at i on.The f ar t hes tcl i pboar di spai nt edas t r i peof t hes amecol orast hes i det abl eand des kacces s or y. �


F AL L F AV O RI T E S

bySar aNapi er

Salted Caram el Cake Pops Thi si sdef i ni t el yanew f avor i t e.Cake popshavebeenahol i dayt r adi t i on amongmyf ami l ybutIdon' tus ual l y eatt hem out s i deofas peci alevent . W el l ,Idi dn' tunt i lIt r i edas al t edcar amelcakepopf r om St ar bucks !

HOT CHOCOLATE Doyour ememberwhenyouwer eaki d andyouwoul dgetr eal l yexci t edabout Fal levent s ?Bei tHal l oweenort heFal l f es t i val sats chool ,t heywer et hef i r s tbi g event soft hecol dmont hsandi twas ni cet ohaves omet hi ngext r at owar m youup.Fors omer eas on,t hatal ways meanthotchocol at e!Thes edaysIdr i nk wayt oomuchcof f eeandevenmor ehot t eabuti nt heFal ls omet hi ngaboutacup ofhotchocol at ej us ts eemsr i ght .

Carving PUM PKINS I fyouhavenevercar vedpumpki ns bef or e,I ' ms or r yt os ayt hatyouar emi s s i ngout !I ti sever ybi tasf unast hemovi es , t vs howsandeccent r i cnei ghbor smakei t outt obe!Youcandoal ls or t soff undes i gnsandr eal l yl etyourcr eat i vi t ys hi ne. Pl us ,youcanmaker oas t edpumpki ns eeds wi t ht hef i l l i ng.Ihaveonl ybeencar vi ng pumpki nsf ort hel as tt woyear ss oIhave pl ent yofwhi ms i calcar vi ngdes i gnst o makeupf orandbel i eveme,Iwi l lmakeup f ori t .


M AKING M ASON JAR LANTERNS Forapat i oar ea,Mas onj arl ant er ns ar eabeaut i f ult oucht oanAut umn eveni ngout door s .Theyar eeas yt o makeandcr eat eaf eel i ngofwar mt h evenont hecol des tni ght .Ther ear e pl ent yoft ut or i al sl i ket hi soneofhow t omaket hem.Tr ymaki ngs omef or yournextFal lgat her i ng.

W EARING BOOTS Gr ant ed,youcanwearboot sanyt i meof t heyearbutwhenyouweart hem i nt he Fal lt heys er vet wopur pos es .Theyl ook gr eatandt heykeepyouwar mert han pr et t ymuchanyt hi ngel s e.Iboughta gr eatpai rl as tyearf r om Tar get .They wer eonl y$25andgowi t hj us taboutever yt hi ngIown!

W ATCH THIS Ti m Bur t oni sabr i l l i antwr i t erand TheNi ght mar eBef or eChr i s t mas i soneofhi st r ademar kf i l ms .I enj oyt hi smovi edur i ngany s eas onbuti nt heFal lot her peopl ear eact ual l ywi l l i ngt o wat chi twi t hme!

SEEING THE SIGHTS W hent hes eas onschange,Il ovet os eeal l oft hel ocalt our i s ts pot s .I nmyar eaIam neart heGr andCanyon,Col or adoRi ver andt heLondonBr i dge.However ,myf avor i t epl acet ogoi nt heFal li st heHoover Dam.Ther ei snot hi ngl i kebei ngt her e whi l et hes uni ss et t i ng!


ROSE GOLD EYES TheFal li sagr eatt i met ochangeup makeupl ooks .Becaus et heweat heri s get t i ngcol der ,youdon' thavet o wor r yabouts weatr ui ni ngyours t yl e. Thi sFal lIam r eal l yi nt ot her os egol d l ook!Ies peci al l yl i ket hi sl ookon br owneyesbuti tmakest hevi br ant t onesofbl ueandgr eeneyespop.

BLACK NAILS Somet hi ngaboutt heFal lmakesmef eel mor eat t achedt odar kercol or s .Bl ack nai lpol i s hs eemsl i ket heper f ect ,chi c col ort obr i ngi nt hecol dermont hs . Jul epMavenhasmyf avor i t epol i s hr i ght now.It endt ochi pmynai lpol i s hal lt he t i mebutt hei rpol i s hdoes n' tcomeof f unt i lI ' mr eadyt or emovei t .ForFal l ,I ' l l bewear i ngt heBr andtcol or .

BURGUNDY LIP Bur gundyi soneoft hebi gl i pcol or st hi s Fal l .Li ps t ai ni smyf avor i t epr oductt o wearbecaus ei twear sl ongerandI neverhavet owor r yaboutget t i ngi ton myt eet h.Sephor aj us tr el eas edanew cr eam col orcal l edEver l as t i ngBur gundy. I t ' sper f ectf orFal l201 2andwi l ll ook goodonanys ki nt one.

Cont r i but e! TheW HI TEmagi sal waysl ooki ngf or new wr i t er s ,phot ogr apher s ,ar t i s t s , des i gner sandt hel i ke.I fyouwoul dl i ke t ocont r i but e,pl eas eemai lusat wr i t e4whi t e@gmai l . com.W el ook f or war dt ohear i ngf r om you!

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1 . Us i ngas o f ts ha r pe y e l i ne rpe nc i l , ma r ka do to nt heo ut e rc o r ne ro fy o ure y e . Thi sdo t wi l lbewhe r ey o ue ndy o ure y el i ne r . 2. Ta key o ure y e l i ne rpe nc i la ndwi t hy o ure y e s l o o ki ngf o r wa r d, ma r kas e c o ndal i t t l ebi to v e r f r o m whe r ey o urc r e a s ebe gi ns . 3. Ma r kat hi r ddo tne a ry o url a s hl i ne1 / 6o f t hewa yi n. Yo us ho ul dno wha v eat r i a ngl ef o r ma t i o n. 4. Wi t ha na ngl e dbr us h, l i net hei nne rc o r ne r o fy o ure y eupunt i lt heďŹ r s tdo t . 5 . Ta key o urbr us ha ndc r e a t eal i nef r o m do t2 t odo t3. 6. No wma keal i nef r o m do t1t odo t2. Yo u s ho ul dno wha v es o me t hi ngt ha tr e s e mbl e sa wi ng. 7 . Ta key o urbr us ha ndc o nne c tdo t1wi t hdo t 3t oc l o s eo y o urt r i a ngl e . 8. Fi l li ny o urt r i a ngl ea nda ddma s c a r aa nd y o u' r edo ne .


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heda ya f t erI t ol dmyMom I waswr i t i ng anes s a ya boutcl eani ngoutmycl os et ,s he s entmea nema i l t i t l ed,' Cl ear l y ,I t hi nkabout t hi sal ot . ' I nt hebodywas800wor dsof f r eef or mt houghtaboutherowncl os et . Hercl os eti si mmens e.Doz ensofs k i r t s anddr es s es .Pi l esofs weat er s .Acol l ect i on ofs hoeshea pedt oget herandaf f ect i onat el y dubbed' ShoeMount ai n. ' Hercol l ect i onofbook soni dent i t yv i sav i s wa r dr obei sequa l l yi mmens e.Sel f hel p book swi t hpr oa ct i v et i t l esl i k e" Or gani z e YourCl os et ,Or ga ni z eYourLi f e! "and" Dr es s YourWa yt oaBet t erYou. "Shes eest he cont ent sofhercl os etasacot t onandwool ma ni f es t a t i onofherownhead.Hones t l y ,I wa ss ur pr i s edt heemai l was n' tl onger . Cl ot hesoccupyawei r dpl acei nourl i v es . Ononeha nd,t hey ' r ej us tut i l i t ar i an ga r ment s ,t her et ok eepuswar m and cov er edup.Ona not her ,t heyf ul f i l l s oci al dema nds-of f i ceweart omak eusl ook pr of es s i ona l -ort omar kusaspar tofa t r i be-t he' punkuni f or m' orabas ebal l hator ev enga ngcol or s .Onat hi r dhand( I needa l otofha ndsf ort hi sconv er s at i on) ,t hey ' r ea modeofma k i ngaper s onal s t at ementabout whowea r e( orwhowewantt obes eenas ) out s i deofa nyk i ndofgr oupors oci al r ul e. Theda yI cl ea nedoutmyowncl os et ,Ti m Gunnwa sbei ngi nt er v i ewedonWBEZ.For t hos eofy ouwhodon' tk now,Ti m Gunn wa s ,unt i l r ecent l y ,t hement or / guar di an angel f ort heha r r i eddes i gner son" Pr oj ect Runwa y . "Thei nt er v i ewerhadas k edGunn abouthi st hought sont hei deat hatf as hi oni s f r i v ol ousa ndundes er v i ngoft heamountof

at t ent i onwepayt oi t .Her es ponded, " Poppy cock !Fas hi oni ss emi ot i cs .The cl ot heswewears endames s agea bout howt hewor l dper cei v esus .Andwha t ' s mor ei mpor t antt hant hat ?"Cl ot hi ngha st he s y mbol i cabi l i t yt or ef l ectbot ht hewor l dwe l i v ei nandaper s on' ss ens eoft hems el v es . Thi si nt er pl ay ,bet weenwhats oci et y demandsandr ewar dsusf orandt he ex pr es s i onofwhowet hi nkwea r e,i swher e cl ot hi ngcangetps y chol ogi cal l ywei ght ya nd anx i et y pr oduci ng. WhenI pi l edal l mycl ot hesonmybeda nd s t ar t eds or t i ngt hr ought hem,I coul ds eet he l as ts i xmont hsofmyl i f e.I hadha dwha tca n bebes tdes cr i bedasas hi ts pr i nga nd s ummer .I f el tv er yl onel yands ad,butev en mor ewor r i s ome,I f el tdi s connect edf r om my l i f e.I was n' ti nv es t edi nany t hi ngI wa sdoi ng andf el tapr of ound,why get out of bed apat hy .Ont headv i ceofmyt her a pi s t ,I s t ar t edt or eal l ypayat t ent i ont owha twa s goi ngoni nmyheadwhenI f el tpa r t i cul a r l y s adorpar t i cul ar l yhappy .I hadl ot sof adj ect i v esf ort hes ads t uf f ,butt he happi nes swashar der .I t ' sev enha r dt o des cr i bei tnowbecaus ei tdoes n' tcomea s anar t i cul at edi dea.Al l i twas( andi s )wa sa f eel i ngi nmyt ummyofs omet hi ngbei ng r i ght ,s omet hi ngf eel i ngl i k ehome.My happi nes swasr eal l yf r agi l eandnebul ous andqui etwhenI f i r s tnot i cedi t ,butonceI di d,I k newwhatI wasl ook i ngf or .AndI s t ar t edt ot hi nkaboutwhyi twass oel us i v e, andwhatk eptmef r om f eel i ngt ha ta l l t he t i me. I hadmybr eak ,whatr ecov er i nga ddi ct s cal l hi t t i ngbot t om,dur i ngal at eni ght


conv er s a t i onwi t hmyf r i endBi l l .I r eal i z edt hat mys a dnes s ,myapat hy ,wast hepr oductof s pl i t t i ngmy s el fi nt ot wopeopl e.Thef i r s tone, whi chwa st heoneI hadwal k edar oundas f ormos tofmyl i f e,wasdedi cat edt obei nga per s ont ha tot herpeopl ewoul dl i k eand r es pect .I di dn' tt r yandcur r yf av or ,butI woul dr ea dpeopl e' sr eact i onst ot hi ngsand pr es entt hem wi t haper s ont hatt heycoul d i dent i f ywi t h,s omeonet hatwascl ear l y' one oft hem. ' Wha twasmi s s i ngf r om t hos e i nt er a ct i onswa sany t hi ngt hatcoul dbe ca l l ed' me. ' I di dn' tcar eaboutmyl i f e beca us eI wa s n' tr eal l yi nv ol v edi ni t ,andmy br ea kwa sk nowi ngt hatI coul dn' tl i v el i k e t ha ta ny mor e.I hadt ot r us tt hi squi etl i t t l e t ummyf eel i ng,t hatwhat ev eri ns pi r eda s ens eofhomewasme,andwhatI s houl d bedoi ng. Mos tpeopl egot hr ought hei rcl os et st o t hr owouts t uf ft hathashol esors t ai nsor does n' tf i tt hei rbodi esany mor e.I wast her e t ogetr i doft hi ngst hatdi dn' tf i tmyhead. Outwentcut es yt eesI hadboughtt obet he whi ms i ca l s pr i t eI t houghtmyex boy f r i end wa nt ed.Fa r ewel l t ot hehi ghneck edbl ous es a ndpr a i r i es k i r t sbel ongi ngt ot heet her eal l y s hyhi ps t erI s eeal l t hemenI ' mi nt er es t edi n gof or .Gonewer et hear t f ul l y s t r uct ur ed j a ck et sa ndcr oppedt r ous er sbel ongi ngt o s omeonewhowal t z esi nt oapar t ywi t h per f ectpos t ur ea ndherl i f ef i gur edout .No mor epol i s hed,cheer f ul ox f or dt opst hat woul dha v ebeenwor nbymypar ent s ' per pet ua l l ys unnyandi ndef at i gabl e da ught er .Myl i f ewoul dbes omucheas i eri f I wer ea nyoft hos egi r l s ,butI ' mj us tnot ,and t r y i ngt obet hem wasmak i ngmemor e mi s er a bl et ha nI ' dev erbeeni nmywhol el i f e.

But ,i fanyoft hos egi r l ss oundl i k ey ou,bya l l means ,headt ot heVi l l ageDi s counton Mi l wauk ee. Af t er war ds ,I f el tl i ber at ed,buta l s oal i t t l e s ad.I t ' snoteas yt or eck onwi t ha ni ma gei n t hemi r r ort hatmaybes omeonewho di s appoi nt s ,whocoul dbedi s l i k ed,a nd acceptt hatpos s i bi l i t y ,es peci al l ywhen y ou' v ebeens ogoodatguar di nga ga i ns ti t . Es peci al l ywhent hatpos s i bi l i t yi st er r i f y i ng. I us edt ot hi nkaboutt hephr as e' be y our s el f ' andal way sf ocus edont he ' y our s el f ' par t :whoam I ?Whatdoes' my s el f ' l ookl i k e?' Your s el f ' wasat hi ngI ha dt of i nd, s omet hi ngI di dn' thav ebutr eal l youghtt o. Butt he' y our s el f ' i snott hemos ti mpor t a nt wor di nt hatphr as e.I t ' s' bei ng' .And' bei ng' i s n' tanactoff i ndi ngoracqui r i ng;i tj us ti s what ev eri thappenst obe.Nodi s r es pectt o mymot her ,butmypr obl em,cl ea r l y ,wa s t hatI wast hi nk i ngaboutt hi sal ot .Too much.Tor eal l y' be' my s el f-t ok nowt ha t I ' ms ay i ngwhatI wantt os ay ,t ha tI ' m doi ng whatI wantt odo,andy es ,wea r i ngwha tI wantt owear ,I can' tl ookt oot herpeopl ef or v al i dat i on.I hav et oj us tbequi eta ndl i s t en, andwai tf ort hi ngs ,l i k et hecl ot hest ha ta r e l ef thangi ngi nmycl os et ,t of eel l i k et heyf i t .


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