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22. FRIDAY, MAY 10, 2013. THE VINCENTIAN
Advice
A sister gone wild it while having “a little fun” at the same time. I have learned that a MY SISTER is 16 years old, woman, the wife of one of and none of us at home can talk to her concerning the men she is going out with, is planning to do her present behaviour. her (my sister) in. This My mother is trying her best, but just has to leave woman says she will get rid of her if she does not her to her own destruction. My father is leave her husband alone. I am very scared for my drunk more than half of the time, and he is no use sister and want her to stop this way of living. in all of this. My sister skips school Concerned on average 3 times a week, and would be out Dear Concerned, with men of all ages. I know of a few men who are married and are spending money on her, in exchange for sex. She was pregnant twice Dear George, already and has gotten rid of the baby both MY HUSBAND does not times. She flatly told us eat what I cook for him, she does not care, and we and neither does he sleep cannot stop her from in the same bed with me. having her fun. She said This has been going on school is a waste of time for several months now. and she has to do her I asked him what is own thing to make her going on, and all that he own money. She says would say to me is, that our parents cannot “Everything is alright.” I give her what she needs know things are not and this is the way to get alright, but he is not talking.
Dear George,
Your sister is indeed on a destructive path, and it is regrettable that she is slighting her education and risking her future, in exchange for temporary pleasure. Encourage your mother to get to the relevant school authority to see whether a much needed meeting can take place in an effort to get your sister to come to her senses, and get back to being a regular teenager
and sister. Your parents need to take their job as parents more seriously, and make every effort to deal with this. It is a very good idea to seek out counseling for your sister, and this can and may extend to more members of the family circle as directed by the counselor. Meanwhile, you can continue to encourage your sister to desist from her present lifestyle. Continue to be her sister regardless.
Husband acting strange I used to wash and iron his clothes, but he is doing that for himself now. When I offer to wash his clothes, he would just say he can manage. He does not allow me to be a wife to him, and I am feeling very funny and have got to the point where I am wondering if he is having an affair. He is not the kind of person to do that, and I have no reason to
suspect him of this; but what else can I think? For the 18 years we are married, I never once found him at fault when it came to other women. What can be the reason for this strange and unacceptable behaviour?
Worried. Dear Worried, You need to seriously engage your husband and get to the bottom of this behaviour. Something obviously is wrong and he needs to get it off his chest. He needs to tell you whether he wants to remain in the marriage or not, so that you can either move on with your life or work toward fixing whatever is wrong. There is no point in him continuing this boyish behavior and expect you to be comfortable with it. He needs to ‘man up’ or ship out!
George
This behaviour can be symptomatic of a greater problem, and showing her that you care, can lead her to eventually open up to you or
someone else about the real issue that is causing this imbalance in her life.
George
My unreasonable wife Dear George, TO DATE, I have not been able to fulfill the promise of taking my wife on a honeymoon. Every year, we keep planning to go somewhere but something always seems to come up to prevent us from leaving. My wife is getting restless and impatient, and is saying that I was only talking big when I said I would take her to Hawaii. I had the money to do it, but a few weeks before the scheduled time for us to leave, our son got sick and I had to use the money on him. Luckily the money was there. The next time around, we had a house fire and had to use the money to replace most of our stuff. My wife does not want to understand, and it is frustrating me the way she is being unreasonable. I told her that the money will be there for us to go to Miami in December, but she does not believe me, and the way she is acting, I am thinking of calling the whole thing off, including the marriage.
Disappointed Dear Disappointed, I can understand if you were only talking about going somewhere without showing serious signs of following through with the plans. However, it seems that the reasons for you not going away, as planned, were all legitimate, according to you. Maybe you can plan to go somewhere nearby, allowing things to fall well within your budget. Later you can go back to your original plans of Hawaii and/or Miami. There are lots of secluded and romantic places next door to you that can provide the magic that you are looking for. You just have to pay attention.
George