V
20. FRIDAY, APRIL 5, 2013. THE VINCENTIAN
Advice
No class
Dear George, I WENT OUT on a date with this girl I have had feelings for since in high school, and we hit it off big time. At the end of the night, she attempted to kiss me and I told her that I did not want to, seeing that it was our first date. She even begged me to sleep with her that same night and of course I refused again. The next day, some of her friends approached me and accusing me of forcing this girl to sleep with me on the first date, and how I was upset because she did not kiss me. I was so shocked that I simply did not reply; I just walked away. The next time I saw her, I asked her about what she had said about me, and she said the girls were making stuff up. She brushed the whole issue aside and, believe it not, she asked me to go out with her again. I told her I would let her know. George, I am so turned off that I do not feel any motivation to go out with her again. I thought she had more class than that.
Let Down Dear Let Down, This is one of those times when following your gut feeling is the way to go. Her girlfriends could not have known about your date with her unless she told them, and you need to proceed cautiously from here. A woman of class would appreciate a man who refuses to kiss on the first date or going further, and would be proud to be associated with him. If you are looking for a woman who has the class, you need to keep looking.
George
Suicide: Not the solution no sense living. I cannot live like this. My father MY FATHER thinks I am a ought to know better because he goes to homosexual because of church and he is one of the friends I am hanging the leaders in his around. He is accusing me of stuff I am not doing, church. The only way for me and it hurts me deeply. The friends he is referring to end my misery is to end my life. I cannot to are not homosexuals, and they are annoyed that believe that my family could be treating me like my father would judge this, as if I am an alien them like that. My name or something. is branded about and tainted because of my Hurt father. I have tried to talk to him many times, but he Dear Hurt, refuses to listen to me. It can be very painful He even told me that I to hear your own father am not his son. It hurt say he does not know so much to hear my you, or you are not his father disown me like son. However, ending that. I’m at the point where I cannot live with this burden. I love my father very much, and if he refuses to love me anymore, then it makes
Dear George,
your life will not get him to find out the truth about you. Find a family member whom your father will listen to, and get them to sit him down to explain to him the level of your grief. If that does not work, then I strongly suggest you go see a counsellor immediately. Maybe that counselor can get your father to join you in a session and thereby giving him a chance to explain why he thinks you are involved in such a lifestyle.
Your father may very well be allowing his homophobia to get in the way of having a relationship with you, and that can be discussed in the presence of a counselor. Attending church would not make him less homophobic, and you can very well use this experience to help him not to be so judgemental of others, especially his own son.
George
Should I tell her?
Dear George,
Dear Mixed Blues,
I AM IN ONE big mess and do not know how to get out of it. I need your help badly. I am engaged to this girl. Our wedding date is set for August of this year. Recently, I was told by a girl I used to see, that she has a child for me, and the child is two years old. This was before I met my present girlfriend. The thing is, my girlfriend always said that she does not want to marry a man who has children with anyone else but her. If I tell her about this child, then I risk losing her altogether. What should I do?
Entering marriage with secrets is not the way to go, and you should level with your bride to be. For all you know, this child may not even be yours! Get a DNA test done to ascertain that you are the father of this child. If you are, and your fiancée truly loves you, she just might go ahead and marry you. Whatever happens, she needs to know what she is getting into, and to have an opportunity to make an informed decision. If you end up losing her as your bride because the child turns out to be yours, then you get to have the honor of stepping up to the plate and be the best father you can be to this child.
Mixed Blues
George