EDITORIAL \\ 6 {Editor@thestrand.ca } THE STRAND | 15 march 2012
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SEX100Y1, LEC 0109 with Dr. SexLove Dear
Doctor SexLove,
I’m a 23 year old guy in my fourth year. I’ve been having some pretty strong sexual urges for my professor. I’ve been in her course since September and I’ve been feeling this way since, pretty much, the first lecture. I visit her during office hours every week and I feel like we have a great connection, I talk to her about course content, but often, the discussions extend to more personal topics and I feel like I’ve really got to know her well. She makes me feel so comfortable; our conversations flow so naturally that I feel like I’m talking to a peer. I really feel like this is something more than just a studentteacher relationship and I am thinking about asking her out on a date. I know it’s conventional, but I couldn’t bear to pass up such a great person just because she happens to be an authority figure. What should I do?
—Loving Educator And Really Nervous Dear LEARN I have to say, you are venturing into dangerous territory if you decide to ask your professor on a date. And particularly if you do so before the end of term. There can be serious implications when getting involved with your prof, not only for you, but for your professor as well. Because you are enrolled in her course, your professor is evaluating you, and this creates a conflict of interest if you were to become romantically involved. UofT does not prohibit such relationships; however, your professor would be obligated to disclose the relationship to their academic supervisor, which might make things uncomfortable for you. You can read up more on their poli-
cy at http://bit.ly/ryxxSr. I suggest that you wait until the course is over before you try to pursue this relationship. It will be easier for you and for your professor and will also give you time to gauge her interest in you after the course is over. You might want to take into account the possibility she is being friendly because you are a good student in her class, and she is interested in you only in a professional capacity. During the summer, you can test the waters to see if her interest continues and use that to determine whether or not to ask her out. If your professor is interested in you, she might also be hesitant or outright opposed to dating you, due to potential professional implications, such as negative views amongst her colleagues regarding dating students or former students. And you may decide you don’t want to jeopardize your relationship with your profes-
sor by pursuing her romantically because you might want to ask her to refer you for a job or for graduate school down the road, LEARN. At the same time, I’m not one to discourage you from following your heart. As my friends Van Halen would say, if you’re “hot for teacher” you should weigh out the pros and cons before deciding how you will proceed.
Dr. SexLove Do you have a pressing question that requires
Dr. SexLove’s
attention? Write to me at: doctorsexlove@gmail.com
*All submissions will be kept confidential.