“Maybe Tien was right. What I came to see, to find, no longer exists. Just feelings without pictures, words without any reality, buried by layer upon layer of present tense. I didn’t know where to dig, how deep to go, but I was nowhere near what I came to do.” -Ken Seward, Then and Now: A Vietnam Memoir
“I was relieved to be back there to see how well the country has done and how positively I felt about the country and the people. But, I felt confused about what difference fighting a war for ten years and costing many lives on both sides resulted in,” said Ken. “Although American Studies is my field and I understand what the books say about why the United States got involved at the time, I think recent history has suggested that the compelling reasons that were described to the public actually were less compelling to those who knew more about the country and the circumstances.” Besides retracing his steps with the letters, Ken also sought to find two people who might help him fully rediscover who he was then. Ken hired a local guide who began the journey by leading him to the home of Hao, the then 12-year-old girl who had done his laundry. Ken met her husband and three of their 12 children. Although Hao passed away in 2001, her family was able to show Ken the now unrecognizable places he had once lived.
life after the war. In the end, reconnecting with Hao and Tien enabled Ken to begin resolving his unanswered and probing questions. After the ten-day trip, Ken once again returned home feeling uncertain about his feelings towards the Vietnam War. Having collected a number of photographs, videos, and journal entries, Ken began to compose a memoir, entitled Then and Now: A Vietman Memoir, to document his encounter with the past. “I wrote the memoir really for myself, as a vehicle for exploring this whole subject. And, secondly, I wrote it for my children so they can read about the Vietnam War from others, but also understand my experience from my memoir and photographs,” said Ken. With the help of Art Department Chair Rugene Paulette, Ken also created the first art exhibit of the 2011-2012 school year. The exhibit showcased his eclectic collection of photographs and artifacts and enabled him to share his experience with students. Ken confesses that his April trip, coupled with these two projects, has helped him “come out of hiding.” Ken has never been part of a veterans association or spoken much about the Vietnam War, but he admits that Vietnam remains a significant part of him. Even though many issues of his time and purposes in Vietnam remain unresolved, Ken’s confrontation of his homesickness ultimately allowed him to rediscover his love for the Vietnamese culture, food, Top photo: hand carved vase by Tien. landscape, and people. Bottom Photo: Tien starting a marble sculpture.
Second, the guide led him to Tien, a marble sculptor whose presence Ken remembered from an ambush. Tien ultimately allowed Ken to both understand the incident from another point-of-view and ask about
Crossroads
Fall/Winter 2011
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