WHAT DOES IT MEAN TO BE A WOMAN TODAY?

By Akari Ikeda

Once the cupcakes are eaten and the purple banners are taken down, the elephant in the room remains as prominent as ever. This International Women’s Day, let’s talk about progress, misogyny, sex, and femininity. What does it mean to be a woman today?

On the evening of the 8th of March, I interviewed Lati (School), Annabel (School), Katie Thorpe (Matron of School House), Ms. Curren, Mr. Spiers and Ms. Gordon on some of their honest views on feminism and womanhood In discussing these issues, we collectively realised just how much there was to say, and how important it was that we spread the word. Even Eastbourne College is not free from the ugly wrath of sexism; we still have much work to do, and I truly hope that this serves as food for thought to spark more action.

Living in twenty-first century Britain may mean access to education and the right to vote for all women (thanks to Emmeline Pankhurst, Millicent Garrett Fawcett, et al), but societal values have been slow to catch up Many members of the discussion agreed that one of the worst parts about being a woman were the double standards: a higher value being placed on how we look rather than on what we say, the increasingly unattainable beauty standards, and the subtle conditioning of misogyny, even in women themselves, were brought up as issues

Ms. Curren argues that this ingrained sense of internalised misogyny is a “ messy, constant battle” and that its implications and impacts are immeasurable, especially in formative years The worst part about being a woman, she says, is knowing you ’ re capable of it all - only for society to limit your opportunities The gender pay gap in Britain today is reflective of this; at 8.3%, women are significantly economically disadvantaged over men.

The subtle conditioning also starts at an alarmingly early age Katie and Annabel recall seemingly innocent playground remarks, ranging from “He’s only teasing - he must like you!” to “Have you got a boyfriend yet? Are you going to marry him?”. Katie regards these comments as contributing to the objectification and hypersexualization of women later on in life, and all members unanimously agreed; furthermore, when asked what piece of advice they would give to their younger selves, they all expressed the need for ourselves as well as society to recognise and appreciate the roles we play This lack of confidence and validation, she believes, roots from the depreciation of women overall as well as this subconscious idea of inferiority She reveals that she wishes she could “tell [herself] to know your worth and care far less - you can do much better” Lati also agrees, stating that the bravery to be assertive should be encouraged and that you should “be confident: people don’t have to like you ”

Throughout the discussion, the theme seems to revert back to a nagging question: the source of misogyny Was it perhaps inevitable that women historically were treated as lesser beings? Modernday Britain, a predominantly Christian nation, was arguably founded upon the teachings of the Bible One of the most influential texts in history, its creation story features Adam and his wife, Eve, who was created out of his rib bone Some argue that the story inherently suggests that women are inferior as Eve originated from his body, whilst others focus on the general trend where she is regarded as somewhat of a scapegoat in committing the first sin, hoisting the blame solely on her shoulders What many have missed, as Ms. Curren points out, is the existence of

Lilith prior to Eve, now only recorded in the Book of Isaiah and in Jewish mythological texts. The disturbing notion that Lilith was abandoned as Adam’s first wife because of her insubordination and aggression, as well as her ban from the Garden of Eden due to her refusal to submit to her husband, could very well be contributing to the misogyny and standard that women should be submissive creatures still relevant today The Iliad also presents this in another light; by blatantly objectifying women through displaying her as a loser’s prize, the darker sides of ancient civilizations from which we evolved from are visualised As Lati puts it, we must “acknowledge and recognise these origin stories If you have horrible foundations, you ’ re going to have a horrible building If you shake it hard enough, the whole thing will collapse.”

On the topic of shame regarding femininity, the conversation once again flares with pent-up anger and frustration. The etymology of the word “pudendum” is Latin for “shame”, and even worse the origins of the word “vagina” comes from the Latin word for “sheath”, intrinsically connoting that female genitalia exists solely for the sexual pleasure of others. The very words we use in regard to our sexuality are built upon the concept of shame and remain as a grim reminder of our past two millennia later Ms Gordon suggests that perhaps the innate fear of the unknown is the trigger for the politicalisation of the female body, especially in reference to periods and sex. Although bans of abortion and reproductive rights are at the extreme end of the spectrum, the acknowledgment that a woman ’ s body is so much more than a mass of flesh to be dictated around is needed, as are better sex education programs for children nationally This double standard of women being shamed for enjoying sexual activities is also an issue not talked about enough; whilst masculinity is often associated with sexual assertiveness, women are in contrast expected to be demure and modest The reclamation of sexual autonomy and freedom, as well as the clearing up of stigma surrounding this topic, would mark a great leap in bringing forward the position of women

Although at times it seems as if every time we celebrate a triumph we also receive unwelcome setbacks, the group shared what the best parts of being a woman are, and who the most influential female figure in their life was. “The universal sense of sisterhood, especially in a girls’ house” is mentioned fondly by Lati, as well as the “emotional connections you ’ re able to form”, from Annabel The beauty of being able to share special moments with other amazing women, such as mothers, sisters, and friends, is also brought up by Katie. Mothers were also recognised as the most influential women in everyone ’ s lives within the group, with many appreciative comments on their love, nurturing, hard work, resilience, and drive A heartfelt message to a loved one in your life, be it your mother, sister, or friend, may be one of the best ways to mark this important day.

Finally, the members shared their thoughts on what could still be done at Eastbourne College to promote the further pursuit of gender equality

The metaphor of a “really nasty, complex web that we ’ re all frustrated with” was referred to by Ms. Curren, and the Lower Sixth interviewees also mentioned the objectification and depreciative laughter and comments from certain individuals, which often go unreported because of its futility and difficulty in pinpointing the cause and evidence Mr Spiers also emphasised the importance of a “joint dialogue” and “unity in voice”, in which both boys and girls at the College recognise the need to promote equity and equality and actively converse about the issues urgently needing addressing today Since the first celebration of IWD in 1911, we have progressed by unfathomable amounts; however, there is still much left to do In Mr Spiers’ words, we are “going in the right direction, at the right tempo and pace to keep everyone happy, but the goal hasn’t been reached yet.” What can you do to make it happen?

(Note: My greatest thank you goes to Ms Curren, who patiently led the discussion and to all those who let me interview them on a very miserable and busy Wednesday evening. I really appreciate all your help! - AK)