Volume 18, Issue 10 - Feb. 13, 2019

Page 1

Volume 18, Issue 10– February 13, 2019

The Sputnik, We Orbit Around You. News, pg. 5

Features, pg. 6

Arts pg. 8

Sports, pg. 11

WHAT IS LAURIER’S EXPOSING BIPHO- HARD LESSONS IN A RACE FOR SEX HABITS...? BIA IN DATING THE ART OF LOVE THEIR HEARTS

We conducted our own survey to see how you go down

People who love both men and women are often left out

Laurier students leave their heart on their sleeves

Laurier athletes share how they found love on the courts

Opinion, pg. 12

DON’T BUY INTO THE IDEA OF LOVE

Why do we spend so much on this corporate holiday?

THE SEX ISSUE Let’s talk about sex baby...

MADELIN MOSES/PHOTO EDITOR


02

THE SPUTNIK

WWW.THESPUTNIK.CA

SPUTNIK_NEWS

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2019

THE.SPUTNIK

/THESPUTNIKNEWS

THE SPUTNIK STAFF EDITORINCHIEF Dellesia Noah eic@thesputnik.ca

GRAPHICS EDITOR Anuj Kapahi graphics@thesputnik.ca

DESIGN MANAGER Sidhant Kapahi design@thesputnik.ca

PHOTO EDITOR Madelin Moses photography@thesputnik.ca

NEWS EDITOR Now Hiring news@thesputnik.ca

LEAD PHOTOGRAPHER Mitchell Emmanuel-Kalu leadphotographer@thesputnik.ca

ASSISTANT NEWS EDITOR Now Hiring assistantnews@thesputnik.ca

WEB DIRECTOR Alex Vialette web@thesputnik.ca

FEATURES EDITOR Olivia McLachlan features@thesputnk.ca

VIDEO EDITOR Jason Morgan video@thesputnik.ca

ARTS & CULTURE EDITOR Hyrra Chughtai arts@thesputnik.ca

SENIOR COPY EDITOR Gabrielle Lantaigne copyeditor@thesputnik.ca

OPINION EDITOR Avery Mclssac opinion@thesputnik.ca

SOCIAL MEDIA COORDINATOR Stephan Reilly Message him on our facebook page!

Describe your first date in three words...

SPORTS EDITOR Jessa Braun sports@thesputnik.ca

WLUSP ADMINISTRATION EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR Lakyn Barton lakyn.barton@wlusp.com

BRANTFORD MANAGER OF OPERATIONS Maiya Mistry manager@wlusp.com

PRESIDENT & PUBLISHER Terrence Mroz president@wlusp.com FINANCE MANAGER Randy Moore finance@wlusp.com

HR MANAGER Paige Bush hr@wlusp.com CORPORATE SECRETARY Maiya Mistry

ADVERTISING MANAGER Care Lucas advertising@wlusp.com

“Fun, cute, and memorable” - Saba Shama, 1st year, Crim

“Very, very awkward” - Hannah Chan, 2nd year, Psychology

“Cute, fun, and memorable” - Julia Rillo, 3rd year, Public Health

“Awkward but fun” - Jordan Young, 1st year, Law and Society

“My sister’s best friend” - Nick Rankin, 1st year, Crim

“Expensive, fun, romantic” Braydon Kelly

BOARD OF DIRECTORS CHAIR Terrence Mroz

DIRECTOR Rosalind Horne

VICECHAIR Shyenne Mcdonald

TREASURER Garrison Oosterhof

DIRECTOR Hayley Watson

DIRECTOR Aaron Hagey

SECRETARY Maiya Mistry

ADVERTISING INQUIRIES All advertising inquiries can be directed to Care Lucas at advertising@wlusp.com or 519-884-0710 ext. 3560.

THE SPUTNIK IS PUBLISHED BY WILFRID LAURIER UNIVERSITY STUDENT PUBLICATIONS 205 Regina ST. N., Waterloo WLUSP Brantford 206-171 Colborne St. Brantford, ON N3T 2C9 (519) 756-8228 ext. 5948 COLOPHON The Sputnik is a bi-weekly campus newspaper intended to engage and inform the community. Started in 1999, the Sputnik is an editorially independent newspaper published by Wilfrid Laurier University Student Publications, Waterloo, a corporation without share capital. WLUSP is governed by its board of directors. Opinions expressed within the Sputnik are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect those of the editorial board, The Sputnik, WLUSP, WLU or Centra Web Printing. All content appearing in the Sputnik bears the copyrightexpressly to their creator(s) and may not be used without written consent. The Sputnik’s primary font is Fira. We also use Utopia, Crimson and Aileron. The Sputnik is a member of the National NewsMedia Council, which is an independent ethical organization established to deal with editorial concerns. For additional information or to file a complaint, contact info@ontpress.com or call 416-340-1981. The Sputnik circulates bi-weekly. Normal circulation is 1,000. The Sputnik has an obligation to foster freedom of the press and freedom of speech. This obligation is best fulfilled when debate and dissent are encouraged, both in the internal workings of the paper, and through the Sputnik’s contact with the community. The Sputnik will always attempt to do what is right, with fear of neither reprecussion, nor retalliation. The purpose of community press is to act as an agent of social awareness, and so shall conduct the affairs of our newspaper.


THE SPUTNIK

WENDSDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2019

03 NEWS EDITOR NOW HIRING news@thesputnik.ca

ASSISTANT NEWS EDITOR NOW HIRING assistantnews@thesputnik.ca

POLITICS

Voter turnout increase in SU elections

Students’ Union elections have struggled to get students to the polls to choose who will represent them DELLESIA NOAH EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Zemar Hakim has made it over the finish line: he has been elected as the new Students’ Union president. For this year’s election, the Students’ Union saw an increase in voter turnout, with 23.61 per cent of the student body coming out to cast their vote. This is a 1.61 per cent increase from last year’s 22 per cent turnout. According to the Students’ Union official election results, Zemar Hakim won the final round with 54.29 per cent of the overall votes. Following Hakim was Klaudia Wojtanowski with 45.72 per cent of the votes by the third round, Talha Naeem with 29.33 per cent in the third round and Ibrahim Musa with 3.48 per cent in the first round.

From our personal account with the students they seem like theyve taken that in and will be more prone to voting. - Ibrahim Musa, Laurier Student

“[I am] very grateful – very grateful to the team and very grateful

to the voters,” Hakim said after his win. Voter turnout for this year’s election is the highest it has been in the last couple of years, with 4330 out of a potential 18337 students having voted in this election. “Voter turnout actually increased by approximately 354 students and I think that was because of a range of different activities we did, just the fact that students actually care about the elections,” said Adam Kovacs, current chair of the Students’ Union board of directors, in an interview with The Cord. Musa – one of the presidential candidates – said it was a part of his campaign to let students know how voting directly impacts them. “Just really making them [students] understand what the Students’ Union really is and people really do believe that it is the senate, board and president is just this little bubble of people but in reality it’s everyone, all the undergrad students are a part of the students union,” Musa said. “From our personal account with students they seem like they’ve taken that in and are becoming more aware and will be more prone to voting.” The president-elect’s next steps are to start implementing his campaign promises. Hakim has said that there are some things he wants to keep from Tarique Plummer’s presidency and others that he wants to change. “The 24-hour student public access – that was something that I wanted to put in place permanently. As for things I want to change,

CONTRIBUTED FROM THE CORD

Voter turnout increased by 1.61 per cent in this year’s election campaign.

things like picks from student ambassadors, I have already had meetings for the hiring for that. I look forward to transitioning and discussing what’s feasible; what can be kept and what needs to be worked on,” Hakim said. Due to the PC government’s

decision to change OSAP funding in Ontario, many student groups that inform, educate and provide for students and are funded by the ancillary fees that students pay are at risk of losing their funding if students choose to opt-out of those fees.

“I have full faith in the system and that of the Students Union’ and student affairs that we’ll work through it and do what’s best for the impact of all Laurier students,” Hakim said about the decision.

CAMPUS

Students Against Ford’s Cuts voice disappointment

Members of the group were supposed to meet with VP of student affairs David McMurray to voice concerns DELLESIA NOAH EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

A meeting that was supposed to take place between vicepresident of student affairs David McMurray and some of the students from Students Against Ford’s Cuts was cancelled due to “extenuating circumstances.” Monday, February 11, Students Against Ford’s Cuts made a post to their Facebook page about the cancellation and voiced their concerns.

[It was] simply to reach out as offered at the recent Town Hall to hear students’ concerns, engage in meaningful conversation [...] -David McMurray, VP of Student Affairs

“While we understand that unforeseen events can occur, We are disappointed that Adam Lawrence, dean of students for Laurier Brantford, did not speak with the group after making this cancellation,” the group wrote.

DELLESIA NOAH/EDITOR -IN-CHIEF

Students had previously gathered in Victoria Park to protest the PC government’s changes to OSAP.

Lawrence’s administrative team has taken the initiative to reschedule the meeting with Students Against Ford’s Cuts with the vicepresident of student affairs David McMurray, but the earliest date that could be arranged was in three weeks’ time. “As we continue to organize on these issues and work with administration it is becoming increas-

ingly clear that Wilfrid Laurier University Brantford campus and Wilfrid Laurier University’s claim to prioritize student experience does NOT hold weight in the light of the recent provincial changes to post-secondary,” the group wrote. “There was no formal agenda or plan of immediate action planned for the meeting. [It was] simply to reach out as offered at the

recent Town Hall to hear students’ concerns, engage in meaningful conversation, and to consider what opportunities might be at hand,” wrote vice-president of student affairs David McMurray. Many post-secondary students in Ontario and at Wilfrid Laurier University are at risk not being able to afford their education due to the withdrawal of “free tuition,” which

was first instated under the Liberal provincial government. “I am acutely aware of the postsecondary education financial impact on students and their families. It is a reported considerable cause of anxiety amongst post-secondary students. Laurier provides financial literacy support advising and offers what it can in the form of bursaries associated with student financial need,” wrote McMurray. The Sputnik also reached out to Students Against Ford’s Cuts, but they refused to comment further on the cancellation of the meeting as not to escalate the issue any further. Instead, Students Against Ford’s Cuts chose to speak out on the work they have been doing on this campus towards the PC government's changes to OSAP. “In the next few days we will also be releasing information about some canvasing we will be doing to get the broader Brantford community informed and engaged in the fight against the OSAP and funding changes,” the group wrote. “We are also continuously collecting signatures for a province wide petition in opposition to the changes.” It was members of Students Against Ford’s Cuts that organized the protest in Victoria Park on Jan. 24.


THE SPUTNIK

04

NEWS

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2019

DANCE

KAOS dance team performs at showcase

It was the team’s first time rehearsing and performing their routines at the new YMCA gym facility nicer with the new gym space, like actually having a studio and we can have mirrors and I’m so excited to do our performance here, ”Voets said. “Rhere is way more seating for the audience and they will actually get to see us because it’s on an angle and we have a lot more space to dance.”

[There’s] a lot more space, there’s a lot more accesibility and were working with rooms with mirrors now as compared to the old gyms where we just working with the floors. -Jesse Murchison-Doggart, KAOS Co-captain

ETHAN MILLS/THE CARNEGIE

KAOS dance team members perform lyrical hip-hop routine in a trio for annual showcase. DELLESIA NOAH EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

Laurier Brantford’s competitive dance team was burning up the dance floor at their annual showcase. Saturday, Feb. 9, the KAOS dance team hosted their annual showcase at Laurier Brantford’s new YMCA centre for the first time. The event was planned in collab-

oration with Fashion for Freedom and featured outside performances from Laurier Brantford’s Musical Society. The KAOS dance team has had to transition from practicing and holding their annual showcase at Wilkes gym to the new YMCA facility. “[There’s] a lot more space, there’s a lot more accessibility and we’re working with rooms

with mirrors now as compared to the old gyms where we were just working with the floors. With all the types of dances we were doing there was no mirrors, so this has definitely helped us a lot,” said Jesse Murchison-Doggart, co-captain of the KAOS dance team. Fourth-year KAOS member Cassandra Voets excitedly agreed with that statement. “This year has been so much

The showcase was used as an exercise to ready the members for competitions. “It’s like a mini competition in a way. It’s a way to get the kinks out before going to competition and we compete in three weeks,” said Ashley Leaman, KAOS co-captain. Murchison-Doggart and Leaman are hoping to raise about $1000 to help take them to competitions. They charged an entry fee at the door and also raffled off prizes to raise the funds. “We lucked out last year, we had

a lot of people come to support even when we were at Wilkes, so we’re hoping that will increase even more because we have special guests coming like Fashion for Freedom speaking and the Musical Society is here so we’re hoping that that will pull all those extra people,” said Leaman. The showcase was filled with different musical genres ranging from tap to hip hop, with some standout performances – based on the audience’s reactions – including a hip-hop number performed by the entire KAOS team that featured an electric military theme; a dance piece that mixed genres and included a tap portion performed to Chance the Rapper’s “Good A** Intro”; and an interpretive dance done to a poem that commented on the current education system. Brienna Callendar came to the showcase to support one of her roommates who is on the team, “She’s doing pretty great,” Callendar said. “[I’m] here to show my love and support because they’ve been working so hard,” said Jesse Correia, another audience member. KAOS received positive reactions from the crowd throughout their showcase performance, especially with their parent dance-off competition they held to win one of their prizes.

CONTEST

Laurier students win design challenge

Students participated in the challenge to creatively think of ideas that would solve big social issues DELLESIA NOAH EDITOR-IN-CHIEF

A weekend of design thinking turns into much more for a handful of Laurier students. Sunday, Feb 3, Prepr – in collaboration with Laurier’s user experience program – was wrapping up its United Nations’ social design challenge, where a group of Laurier students walked away with a win and a summer internship at Prepr.

We exceeded the expectations in terms of the students’ learning outcomes and their engagement. -Salar Chagpar, Co-founder of Prepr

Zachary Dorege, Mikayla Ferraro, Cedric Zheng and Hunter Davies were the winning design group from that weekend. Their social design idea was a digital literacy toolkit meant to mimic a PC interface with paper materials. It was meant to stitch together the digital divide found in people from developing nations. Davies was ecstatic about winning the Prepr internship and noted that the success came from the efforts of each of her group

CONTRIBUTED BY PREPR

(From left to right) Hunter Davies, Mikayla Ferraro, Cedric Zheng and Zachary Dorege and Salar Chagpar .

members. “The fact that everyone was really committed to the project and everyone really cared about the project. Praise the Lord, that we all get the opportunity to have an internship. This is amazing,” Davies said. The aim for the weekend was to provide an opportunity for students to work in teams to come up with critical ways in which they

could manifest ideas to help to solve social issues. This challenge was set by the United Nations’ 2030 agenda for sustainable development which set of 17 goals, such as good health and well-being; quality education; gender equality; affordable and clean energy; industry innovation; and infrastructure and climate action, among others. “I think the weekend went really

great. We exceeded the expectations in terms of the students’ learning outcomes and their engagement,” said Salar Chagpar, co-founder of Prepr, a non-profit organization. Each design group picked four of the United Nation’s goals to focus on and created a design solution around those goals. Group members Alena Liu, Cameron Fong, Fatima Khan, Kat

Relieve and Cindy Ly were the runners-up with their idea for an accessibility card that allowed low-income immigrant parents to access methods of transportation and products at supermarkets at an affordable and discounted rate. Group member Cameron Fong said that they were very focused on people from third-world countries at first, but as a group they eventually decided to go in another direction. “When we made the transition to focusing on our parents and when they moved to Canada and what they went through. That’s what set it over the edge for us that we should do some sort of affordable transit system,” said Fong. Another group had the idea of creating a sustainable energy system for those in third-world countries, and another had the idea to solve world hunger and socioeconomic depletion using hemp. Chagpar said that a lot of the groups who had been working hard over the weekend have the potential to continue developing some of their solutions and that Prepr was prepared to supply them with tools to do so. “ We’re giving a challenge kit to all participants so they can continue to use this in all their other challenges for the rest of their semester and throughout the rest of their careers,” said Chagpar. Many of the students expressed that they had taken a lot away from the design challenge that they could later take with them into their careers.


WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2019

THE SPUTNIK

NEWS

05


06

THE SPUTNIK

FEATURES EDITOR/OLIVIA MCLACHLAN

LOVE AND RELATIONSHIPS

Throw away bi-erasure this Valentine’s

When we see narratives of love in the media, there is gay and there is straight, but bi is often erased OLIVIA MCLACHLAN FEATURES EDITOR

We are familiar the idea of straight love as well as queer love, but there are people who are left out at this time of year. Bisexual people are not well represented by Valentine’s Day nor in many other aspects of life. This leads to what is called biphobia. Laurier Brantford student Samantha Quinn identifies as bisexual and told me about her experiences with Valentine’s Day. Although she does not necessarily celebrate Valentine’s Day, she has some thoughts about it. Quinn feels Valentine’s Day is “very straight couple-based”. She believes that the idea caters more to males getting their girlfriends flowers, for instance – “Even though it’s ‘LGBT’,” she added, referring to the inclusion of bisexuality in the LGBT community. However, the “B” can often be forgotten or pushed to the side. Quinn says a bisexual individual might not be “taken seriously on either side of the spectrum”. In Canadian society – and especially in university settings – samesex couples and gay individuals are much more accepted today than they were even five or ten years ago.

It can make you feel very ostracized out of the straight and the gay community. Kind of like you’re stuck in your own group of people. -Samantha Quinn, Laurier Student

But there is a harmful lack of bi visibility in the gay community. “There is a lot of biphobia in the gay community,” Quinn said. “I call myself gay, I don’t say I’m bisexual. Just because it’s a blanket term and it’s just easier to say than directly describing who I’m sexually attracted to.” About bi-erasure Quinn said: “it can make you feel very ostracized out of the straight and the gay community. Kind of like you’re stuck into your own group of people.” Sonali Bhatnager, a criminology student at Laurier Brantford, has found that people “are afraid of what they don’t know.” Even if she is in a relationship with a gay person, she has felt she still had to explain her sexuality to prove its validity and prevent bi erasure within that relationship. As the pendulum has swung left in recent years and as we grow more tolerant of people who are different from ourselves, we have generally swept right over the middle of the spectrum. As a result, society has a fixed mindset: it’s black or white. “You’re either gay or straight,” says Bhatnager. “And everything else is ‘are you sure about that?’ kind of mentality.” Quinn and Bhatnager shared the thought that one’s identity is frequently assumed based on who their romantic partner is. “People don’t look at it as spectrum of what you’re interested in,” Bhatnager says. Does a bisexual female feel safe

and respected in Laurier Brantford’s community? The answers are varied, reasonably so. Not everyone has the same experiences and journey. Quinn says she feels much more respected if she does not mention her identity in conversation so as to not be perceived differently. On the other hand, Bhatnager does feel welcome at Laurier Brantford. “I do feel pretty accepted,” she said. “In general, sexuality never really comes up for me. When I have brought it up, I’ve been treated like a regular person, and for me that matters more than being treated like anything else.” There is a common misconception that bisexuals are unfaithful simply because they are attracted to both biological sexes. “[This stereotype] is obviously not true,” Bhatnager said. Communication and education are important in a bisexual relationship for these reasons, just like in all other relationships. “It’s frustrating having to constantly feel like you have to defend or bring up the fact that your sexuality is valid,” Bhatnager said. Regardless of its place on the human sexuality spectrum, regardless of who one might be attracted to, every sexuality is valid and unique. Two people who both identify as bisexual may have completely different experiences. There is no rulebook. Proud bisexual actress Stephanie Beatriz has written about her experiences and what she has learned as an openly bisexual woman. One piece that stands out is her article for GQ, which is about her coming out as bi, being out in the spotlight and how important it is to live one’s truth. Beatriz also talked about her upcoming wedding and her fiancé, who is a man. She, in no uncertain terms, explained that her relationship to a male did not reduce her “bi-ness”. She also spoke on the subject of not being easily identified and others’ assumptions of her based on who her partner is. “...Sexuality is an intimate thing that I’m still in the process of discovering daily—that's the nature of all of our sexualities,” Beatriz wrote in her article. Another fantastic article written for The Daily Pennsylvanian is called ‘Gay, lesbian, bisexual couples also celebrate Valentine's Day’. It talks about the how a same-sex couple may celebrate the holiday differently than a straight couple. The conclusion is pretty clear: Valentine’s Day does not mean anything different for gay, lesbian and bisexual couples. This article is quoted saying: “I think that gay relationships are about love and intimacy in the same way that heterosexual relationships are.” “Valentine's Day is just as much an occasion for us,” the article continued. On a day meant to celebrate love, however capitalistic it may be, why should one group of people be judged differently for who they love? By now it may feel cliché to say, but love is love. It does not bend for one day or one person’s expectations of someone else. “The best and really only thing most people can do is educate yourself and educate those around you,” Bhatnager said. “A lot of ignorance and prejudice are from

places of confusion and of not knowing how to treat people that are different from them.” “It’s more than just gay and straight, but a spectrum,” Bhatnager said. “It would benefit our society to really dive into what could be in that spectrum instead of just one or the other.”

You’re either gay or straight, and everything else is ‘are you sure about that?” kind of mentality -Sonali Bhatnager, Laurier Student

If a same-sex couple can celebrate Valentine’s Day and show their love and a straight couple can do the same, bisexual relationships can too. Bisexuals are people, just like any gay or straight person. Their love is just not limited to one sex. Just love itself, that is beautiful and natural.


FEATURES

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13,2019

07

ANUJ KAPAHI/GRAPHICS


THE SPUTNIK

08

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2019 ARTS & CULTURE EDITOR HYRRA CHUGHTAI arts@thesputnik.ca

CAMPUS

Should you give relationships a try? Laurier students give their perspectives on dating, love and relationships over the past four years

ANUJ KAPAHI/GRAPHICS EDITOR

HYRRA CHUGHTAI ARTS AND CULTURE EDITOR

What is love? Every person has their own meaning attached to it. Depending on their past experiences, it can be either positive or negative. But this can change as a person grows and as they develop new experiences for themselves, for better or worse. I asked Laurier students from different backgrounds and years to see how they view love.

...I could be treated the way I am treated, shown love I never thought I deserved until you find that person.

-Kristen Gilmore, Fourth-Year Criminology student

Love can be a very fragile topic to some. Many people keep most of their past private and don’t open themselves up to new love. For Kristen Gilmore, that is all

too familiar. A fourth-year psychology student, Gilmore came into university after a very bad breakup. She sees that as one of the more minor problems that she had to overcome. “I was just very closeted. I never came out to anybody, my family, none of my best friends knew, no one really knew, I was just hard to open up to people just through a lot of trust and I just never thought it would be acceptable..,” said Gilmore. Changing her perspective of love into a negative one in first year, Gilmore became anti-love while she tried to work on who she was and who she wanted to become. She decided to break her silence and be more acceptable and open about her feelings, resulting in a now just under six-month relationship with her girlfriend. She never would’ve thought this could be possible coming to Laurier. “I would never think in a million years I could be treated the way I am treated, shown love I never thought I deserved until you find that person,” said Gilmore. Creating a bond or a connection with the person you love is a need that has to be checked in people’s list. Aside from opening up to your significant other, both people

must make the same effort. For Paige Murtagh, being able to make little sacrifices in your own life for the one you care about is just as important. Growing up and watching her parent’s love, Murtagh learned the importance of compromise. “My parents have given up a lot for me and sacrificed a lot for me so now [as] I go forward in life I can make those sacrifices for people and those compromises for people that I love and I care about because I think it’s important to make others happy that make you happy,” said Murtagh.

I can make those sacrifices for people and those compromises for peopel that I love and I care about... -Paige Murtagh, Third-Year Social Work student

This wasn’t always the case for coming into first year, she was very self-focused and trying to figure out her academic schedule, she didn’t have the time to make those sacrifices. Now being in her third year and in a seven-month-long relationship, she’s learned a new way to love and to be loved that works for her and her academic life. “I’ve been able to expand my eyesight from being internal to helping out others. Instead of being like ‘this works for me’, I can think ‘how can this work for you or us?’,” said Murtagh. Taking a break from relationships when one starts at a new

school isn’t necessarily for everyone. A lot of students coming into a new school environment want to make a good first impression among their new friends. Wanting a love that everyone else has and trying to mirror it into your own life isn’t the best for your mentality. Kevin Delacruz learned that the hard way in his first year. He had a relationship straight out of high school. “I just wanted to have a girlfriend, I was being a child and selfish, it was wrong to be with that person. Compared to now, I understand [the] importance of love and relationships..,” said Delacruz. Time and growth are something we all have the potential for. We can learn from our mistakes or even others’ mistakes. After experiencing a brutal break up in her first year, Mila Menna had a cynical and jaded perception of love. But as time passed, Menna started to surround themselves with positive vibes and people who embodied a wholesome, accepting mindset. Through challenges that they’ve faced themselves, Menna believes that if something is off or is unattainable about the person you are trying to impress, it isn’t worth it. “If someone doesn't like you back, that's an automatic deal breaker. Don't ever feel the need to prove your value to someone who isn't invested in you whatsoever. They ain't for you – move on,” said Menna. By hearing what most students regretted in their first year, Nadia Walker a first year herself, has already learned a lot about who she is and what love is. “… I find I have come to terms that if something bad happens in a relationship then that’s life. I’d rather have loved and lost than lost

and not loved kind of idea,” said Walker. Having been with her boyfriend for five years now, her experiences with her partner have shaped her into who she is today. Love, to Walker, needs to be respected on an equal playing field. Valentine’s Day itself isn’t a big deal to Walker when it comes to love. She says it’s more about giving back when she can to those who feel left out or to people in need. “ …What I did to try and fix these feelings of being left out for Valentine’s [Day], I always help one homeless person with a meal or something small like that …for my close friends I usually bake … to let them know I care and then I celebrate very classically with my boyfriend with dinner and a nice night,” said Walker.

...Don't feel the need to prove your value to someone who isn't invested in you whatsoever... -Mila Menna, Third-Year Student

For the people who have a negative outlook on love, Delacruz implies that there is love all around; we just have to value it just as we would another person. “…All your friends, family, even your pets, they love you. Even in the darkest of moments, love is within you, someone is out there who loves you,” said Delacruz.


THE SPUTNIK

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2019

ARTS & CULTURE

09

LIFESTYLE

Are you really being safe? Laurier's women centre gives advice on how to stay safe during all types of sex FIONA ROWAT STAFF WRITER

ANUJ KAPAHI/GRAPHICS EDITOR

Safe sex is an important topic, no matter the arrangements of the sexual relationship. In order to acknowledge this fact, this Valentine’s Day, the Laurier Brantford’s Women’s Centre put on a workshop run by a representative from the Stag Shop to discuss deeper details about what some BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism) relationships look like. The workshop went over different types of BDSM, how to stay safe and how to ensure that there is constant and ongoing consent. The workshop was also intended to break through the stigma and stereotypes that are left behind from unrealistic and harmful media representations like “Fifty Shades of Grey”. “[BDSM is] gaining popularity now, but the way that it’s being portrayed is a very narrow lens. Lots of people are doing work to try to break those stereotypes. It’s definitely more people who are in the communities themselves right now who are saying ‘I don’t look like that, that’s not what BDSM is about’ it’s just about representation,” said Emily Zawadzla, Stag Shop representative. “That’s the issue with ‘Fifty Shades’...that was a terrible example of a BDSM

CULTURE

"Legally Blonde" on the stage

A look into the first musical production by the LB Musical Society GABRIELLE LANTAIGNE LEAD COPY EDITOR

“Omigod, you guys!”, on Friday, January 25, the Laurier Brantford Musical Society put on its production of the hit Broadway musical Legally Blonde at Brantford Collegiate Institute. The musical, which is based on a novel and popular film of the same name, tells the story of Elle Woods, a sorority girl who enrols at Harvard law school to try and win back her ex-boyfriend. “In first year I noticed there wasn’t any clubs available that incorporated singing, dancing and acting, and I always had a deep love for theatre. I was talking to someone on the English Association about the process of starting a club, because one of the reasons I came to this campus was because of the leadership opportunities,” said Menna. On top of being director and club founder, Menna also played the role of Paulette, Elle’s hairdresser friend. “Because we have such a small campus and I feel like not a lot of people will come out and do clubs, especially ones where it’s a huge time commitment, we didn’t have as many people as we needed for the roles,” said Menna. “So I just kind of stepped in wherever need be, because I was like, ‘this is happening, I’m doing whatever I can.’ At first I was kind of scared, because the role is supposed to be campy, and I’m not, [but] it’s been fun. I had a really great time.” Mitchell Onyedikachi, a fellow

student, went to the show to support a friend. He believes that events like this are a great and important way for students to de-stress during the semester. “I think they did a really good job with this one and I would love to see more,” said Onyedikachi. In this production, the role of Elle was played by a supremely comedic and energetic Haedan Reid, who studies forensic psychology when she isn’t performing. Reid’s impressive vocal range and stamina made it clear why she was chosen for the role.

"It builds such a great community. I've made so many friends here, [but], I think it needs more funding to be honest. -Emily Wilbur, Second-Year Business Technology Student

Other standout performances included those of Emily Ernst, who played snarky mean girl Vivian; Rachel Maguire as fitness mogul and accused murderer Brooke Wyndham; and Menna themselves as quirky Paulette. Emily Wilbur, a second-year business technology student, played numerous ensemble roles in the production.

She believes that having clubs and programs like this is important on a campus like Laurier Brantford. “It builds such a great community,” she said. “I’ve made so many friends here, [but] I think it needs more funding, to be honest.” Menna echoed this sentiment. “Funding is definitely an issue, especially for non-faculty clubs,” they said. “The rights cost anywhere from 2000 to 2500 dollars, and the clubs are given a budget of maximum 300 dollars.” Due to lack of funding, the team admitted that their production was low budget. Props were minimal and the sets were very basic. “We’ve worked really hard to use the money that we got well,”said Wilbur, despite the clubs limitations. Menna, whose immense dedication to the production was evident, even put some of their own money into the show – money that they admit they may not get back. “Realistically, unless we come into more money winning another bursary or grant, I’m not sure about the future of this club, which is really sad,” they said. “And I feel like because it’s an arts school or a humanities school, like any university we should have outlets for creativity and expression.”

relationship…[in the story] she was pushed into so many things.” The problem with the misrepresentations in “Fifty Shades” is that it doesn’t just show a different side of this subculture; it brushes off an abusive relationship as BDSM. In reality, many people in BDSM relationships take extreme precautions to ensure that everyone involved is safe during a scene.

[BDSM is] gaining popularity now, but the way that it's being portrayed is a very narrow lens. -Emily Zawadzla, Stag Shop Representative

The first thing to do, even if you’re just curious, is to do as much research as you can. BDSM is an extremely broad topic, with each subsection requiring its own safety precautions and forms of consent. There are plenty of reputable resources online in the form of blog posts, videos and even health professionals that can help you

or just give you the information you should have before trying something you’re interested in or curious about. Another part of BDSM you are not likely to see on your TV is what’s called “aftercare”. Aftercare is a routine that many partners go through once a scene is over. This is a time set aside to talk to one another about what just happened, if anything needs to change for next time and to check to make sure those involved are okay. It can also include extra care such as ressurance or some sort of romantic activity. The final, and probably the most important part of BDSM: consent. Consent is necessary in any sexual relationship, whether it’s a one night stand or it’s a couple who have been married for years, and BDSM takes consent very seriously. In most cases, the parties involved in a scene will discuss consent and boundaries beforehand and will often set a safe word or signal to stop everything. In a BDSM relationship, consent must be given before, during and even after the scene. In some cases, consent is even part of a written agreement between those involved. Better safe than sorry!


THE SPUTNIK

10

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2019 SPORTS EDITOR JESSA BRAUN sports@thesputnik.ca

SEXUAL HEALTH

How playing sports can improve sex life

Be more confident and relaxed when it comes to having sex HANNAH KASTEIN SPORTS WRITER

Sports are always a fun way to stay active and meet new people, but what if I told you that sports could improve your sex life as well? Studies have shown that exercise in general improves your sex drive, but keep in mind there are some sports and forms of exercise that are better for your sex life than others, depending on your skills, needs and abilities. Read on to find out the top sports or activities to do if you are looking to spice up your sex life this Valentine’s Day. Cross-Country Everyone knows that running can be great for the mind and heart. Running improves your circulation and blood flow, which in turn can make you more easily turned on. Women become more sensitive to touch and men will have an easier time getting an erection. Both genders have also reported having better orgasms when their circulation is improved. Running can also help to relieve stress, which will get you in the mood more often. Fortunately, Laurier Brantford has a varsity boys and girls cross country team,

so if you’re looking to run more, you are in luck.

Both genders have also reported having better orgasms when their circulation is improved.

-Hannah Kastein, Sports Writer

Soccer Similar to cross country, soccer involves a lot of running, which increases blood flow. However, studies have shown that testosterone levels increase dramatically when playing soccer. Some of this is due to the fact that most soccer games are played outdoors, where vitamin D helps to increase testosterone levels. There is also a competitive side to soccer, which can also lead to higher testosterone levels in men. Running plus being outside and engaging in

a competitive sport results in a higher sex drive. Yoga There are many benefits to yoga, which in turn can improve your sex life. The most obvious is flexibility. If you are someone who isn’t very flexible then doing yoga is a great way to help with this, and we all know that great flexibility can lead to better sex. Yoga can also help you get creative with your sex positions and help you master them. There are tons of yoga poses that can be used in the bedroom to spice up your sex life. Another thing that yoga is proven to help with is mental health. After taking some time to relax, stretch and clear your mind, you’ll find yourself in a much better mood. Yoga is known to help with depression and anxiety, which can be causes for a low sex drive. Pilates Pilates exercises are a great way to strengthen your body and increase stamina. When doing Pilates, you learn muscle control as the exercises are more focused on control rather than speed. This helps in the bedroom by allowing for a longer, more intimate experience. Pilates is also a great way

ANUJ KAPAHI/GRAPHICS

to lose weight and tone muscle, which can help improve self-confidence. Feeling sexy is a huge factor in good sex. If you don’t love your body, then there may be hesitation when it comes to having sex. Pilates promotes a healthy body image, which in turn promotes a healthy sex life. A Sport That You Love If none of these sports or activities are right for you, then any sport that you enjoy works well too. Exercise in general increases

blood flow and testosterone levels, and improves mental health and body image, all of which lead to a better sex life. The trick is to find a sport or active activity that you enjoy so that you keep going back to it. Doing anything one time will not help much: you have to keep at it and establish a routine. This is much easier to do when you are doing something that you enjoy. This will in turn increase your sex drive, allowing you to have sex more often, and let’s be honest: love is important.

OPINION

Pats beat Rams: A Super Bowl Snoozefest

Praught shares his opinion on all the things that went wrong RYAN PRAUGHT SPORTS WRITER

Last issue, I wrote an article discussing the Super Bowl and what we the audience could expect to see. I said it would be an offensive affair that featured many great moments and ultimately the Patriots would win 33-30. Oh boy, could I have been more wrong? Not only was there very little offense, but my predictions regarding the impact of Patriots quarterback Tom Brady and Rams runningback Todd Gurley were wrong as well. Neither player had particularly great games and the only offensive player to do anything was Super Bowl MVP Julian Edelman, who finished the game with 10 catches for 141 yards. The game certainly lacked the offensive flair fans have become accustomed to this season. To make matters worse for myself, last issue I joked about the unpredictability of the Super Bowl, saying the game could easily end 6-3. That would have been a better prediction, as at the half the Patriots held a measly 3-0 lead. If there were ever a game in the NFL season to be boring, the Super Bowl – with millions of football fans and Maroon 5 fans watching – was certainly not it. Many people

found the game boring, with some even turning the game off after realising it wasn’t going to get any better in the second half. Speaking of the half, even the halftime show – which featured the likes of Maroon 5, Travis Scott and Big Boi – was dubbed boring and pathetic by most viewers. The full-length show was posted on the NFL’s official YouTube channel. By 6 p.m. on Feb 9, the video had over 10 million views and had a like-todislike ratio of 117 thousand likes to 812 thousand dislikes. Ouch! Talk about an epic failure. As much as people love the commercials that are featured during the Super Bowl, they should never outshine the game itself or the halftime show, but this year they may have very well done so. Just a piece of advice for the people who decided teasing us with SpongeBob SquarePants was a good idea: Next time, just give us SpongeBob instead of whatever that was. I asked Laurier Brantford student Ebose Abure about his opinion on the halftime show, and here’s what he had to say: “The halftime show was boring, but that’s cause none of the black artists wanted the job.” Although Travis Scott and Big Boi, both black performers, did perform, it is

true that many artists did not want the job. This is mainly due to the situation regarding Colin Kaepernick, the former quarterback of the San Francisco 49ers who controversially kneeled during the national anthem. After the 49ers and Kaepernick parted ways, the quarterback has yet to find a job anywhere, causing him to sue the NFL for collusion. Many artists turned down the halftime gig in support of Kaepernick. That certainly hurt the performance. When asked about the SpongeBob bit, Abure said, “I honestly didn’t see the point. It was just odd.” Fortunately, the second half was a little better than the first, mainly because . . . how could the second half be any worse? No points would have really sucked. Instead, we saw the Rams tie the game with a field goal. Some people appreciate the low-scoring game and value it as great defense. “I like great defense and it wasn’t a lopsided game,” said Abure. That makes one of us. I appreciate the occasional defensive play, but I’m a sucker for offense, even just a little of it. With seven minutes left in the fourth quarter, viewers finally got a touchdown courtesy of Patriots running back Sony Michel. With

ANUJ KAPAHI/GRAPHICS

how poorly the Rams offense had played, that seemed like the dagger, but surprisingly they were able to move down the field. Jared Goff threw a critical and devastating interception to all but seal a Patriots victory and cause everyone that was not a Patriot fan to feel sad and angry. Yeah, everyone is sick of the Patriots winning. !e want something new. “I wanted their reign to end and for Todd Gurley to win,” said Abure. All in all, the game was boring and quite frankly a waste of my

Sunday night. I tuned in only to see the so-called underdogs (yes, the Patriots had the nerve to call themselves that) win for the sixth time in my lifetime. I can’t be the only one wondering what a ChiefsSaints matchup would have looked like. That certainly would have been a better offensive showcase. Right? Oh, who am I kidding, trying to predict what will happen in the Super Bowl is like playing the Powerball. It really is a crapshoot that feels impossible, and yet everyone does it anyway.


THE SPUTNIK

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2019

SPORTS

11

CAMPUS

Athlete couples of Laurier Brantford Meet some cute couples on campus who share the common value of representing our purple and gold JESSA BRAUN SPORTS EDITOR

When sports are such a large part of your life, sometimes there’s no better idea than to date someone who will share that common interest. A number of past and present Golden Hawks met their sporty significant other at Laurier Brantford. Featured here are Sarah Maier and Simon Crowley, Maizee Bodman and Jerrett Putt (alumnus, 2018), and Tamara Sommerkamp (alumna, 2018) and Martin Mejia. Each athlete was separately asked a few questions about their sporty relationship and this is what they said. MAIZEE BODMAN & JERRETT PUTT Which sports did you play for Laurier Brantford? Maizee: Varsity cross-country. Jerrett: Varsity soccer and crosscountry. How did you meet? Maizee: Jerrett and I met on the cross-country team! Jerrett: On the same cross-country team together and a couple mutual friends. What would be your ideal sportsthemed date? Maizee: Axe throwing! Jerrett: Skating down an ice trail. There’s one in Huntsville that’s lit up by torches at night and I’ve always wanted to go with someone. In your opinion, why does an athlete make a good partner? Maizee: I think an athlete makes a good partner because we share similar interests and are able to enjoy some of our favourite activities together! But since we’re both involved in sports/extra curricular[s] we’re able to remain independent as well! Jerrett: Athletes are good partners because they compete with each other over everything, so there’s never a dull moment. It’s also pretty sweet to be able to cheer on your significant other when they are competing. Athletes are typically labelled as competitive. What do you rival over? Maizee: Leafs vs. Habs, or who is better at the Words with Friends game. Jerrett: Maizer’s a Leafs fan and I’m a Montreal fan. So I basically test her on her TML knowledge constantly. What sport will your children play? Maizee: Hockey and soccer. Jerrett: Hockey and soccer are mandatory. I’d love to see them play golf or do gymnastics too, as those sports teach good values like patience, mental toughness and respect. SARAH MAIER & SIMON CROWLEY Which sports did you play for Laurier Brantford? Sarah: I ran for two years on Laurier Brantford’s co-ed varsity cross-country team . . . my favourite sport/team! Simon: I played for the men’s varsity soccer team and ran for the varsity cross-country team for the past two years. I had to throw in the towel for both this year though, to go on exchange to France in

first semester, which was SO FUN (highly recommended to all the adventurous traveller types out there). I do miss the great team atmosphere of both teams, though! How did you meet? Sarah: Simon and I first met in residence (Wilkes House), but didn’t really get to know each other well until we joined cross-country in our third year on campus! Simon: Sarah and I were in the same residence in first year, but I had a hard time catching her eye at first, as she was pretty out of my league. In third year I started playing sports and that helped out a lot. We ended up running together on the cross-country team and haven’t looked back since. What would be your ideal sportsthemed date? Sarah: My ideal sport-themed date would be anything outside that we could do together! Last semester, we went skiing in the Swiss Alps together, which was incredible -- I could definitely be easily convinced to do that again! Simon: Typical high adrenalinetype shenanigans are usually our style! Anything from cliff jumping to heli-skiing is our typical go-to. Just kidding -- seeing as we pretty much met through running, we love a good run, or working out together. Recently skiing has been of great interest, so hopefully lots more of that! In your opinion, why does an athlete make a good partner? Sarah: I think that an athlete makes a good partner because they are usually a very social, motivated individual with lots of positive energy! Plus, they make a great gym/ run/adventure buddy! Simon: I think like anything, you are attracted to people who are like-minded and share similar interests. Therefore dating an athlete is a great thing for me because sports and fitness are a huge part of my life. Dating another athlete helps keep you motivated and healthy, plus they understand you better and can help challenge you to be at your best.

Dating an athlete is a great thing for me because sports and fitness are a huge part of my life. -Simon Crowley

Athletes are typically labelled as competitive. What do you rival over? Sarah: I can’t think of anything that we rival over in a competitive manner, usually we just push each other to do our best in friendly athletic competitions that I have been known to win . . . like arm wrestling! Simon: This one’s a toughie, cause Sarah and I like to be competitive, but recently she’s been getting pretty fired up because her losing streak at “odds” has gotten a little out of control… Normally though, we’re pretty good and just like to challenge each other to do the best we can in whatever it is we are focusing on. What sport will your children

play? Sarah: I don’t really care what sports my kids play as long as they’re active, passionate and enjoy it! Hopefully they’ll like multiple different things, or at least be willing to give anything a try! Also, preferably nothing that involves too much contact. Simon: Hockey and soccer for sure. Maybe mix in a couple of martial arts and something from way out of left field like inner tube water polo; that way we can start a family team and win a world championship or two! TAMARA SOMMERKAMP & MARTIN MEJIA Which sports did you play for Laurier Brantford? Tamara: I played extramural volleyball and I also played for the women’s soccer club when the team was just starting up. Martin: Varsity men’s soccer and co-ed extramural volleyball. How did you meet? Tamara: We actually met through one of the athletic programs. We were both playing on different intramural volleyball teams. Martin: Playing intramural volleyball. My team beat hers in the finals.

CONTRIBUTED BY MAIZEE BODMAN

Maizee Bodman runs for cross-country and Jerrett Putt did soccer and X-C.

What would be your ideal sportsthemed date? Tamara: Our ideal sports themed date is more of a dream than a reality. We would love to attend a FIFA World Cup game. Martin: Probably a soccer-themed day since we take the most interest in that sport. Playing it or seeing a professional game is ideal. In your opinion, why does an athlete make a good partner? Tamara: In my case, an athlete makes a good partner, as it gives us a common interest. The feelings that go into sport playing are difficult to explain to a nonathlete. Being active is important for numerous reasons and these effects as a result can be reflected in a healthy relationship. Healthy body equals healthy mind equals healthy relationship. Martin: I think it’s the patience and ability to work well with someone else for a common goal that makes it good. It shows strength in teamwork with a significant other, which I think is great. Athletes usually come from a teamwork environment, so the skills to better yourself with someone else exist with them.

CONTRIBUTED BY SARAH MAIER

Crowley and Maier ran cross-country. Crowley also played on the soccer team.

Athletes are typically labelled as competitive. What do you rival over? Tamara: I think the number one thing we rival over is who we think the best soccer player is. We always vouch for different players and neither one of us ever gives in. Martin: Everything really until she knows she’s going to lose. Most of the time we rival over our favourite players: which we think is better. What sport will your children play? Tamara: It’s funny because we’ve actually already talked about this and we each want them to try numerous sports. One in particular is soccer. Martin: Whatever their little hearts desire. As an athlete I can play most sports – it’s just a matter of what I’m more interested in. Ideally I’d like them to take after me in playing soccer competitively.

CONTRIBUTED BY TAMARA SOMMERKAMP

Tamara Sommerkamp and Martin Mejia both play soccer and volleyball.


THE SPUTNIK

12

WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY 13, 2019 OPINION EDITOR AVERY MCISAAC opinion@thesputnik.ca

VALENTINE’S DAY

Chocolate scams in a heart-shaped box

A day that claims to be all about love is actually just a cover for stores to captialize on people’s emotions EMILY ERNST STAFF WRITER

There is nothing special about Valentine’s Day. Yup, I said it. Let’s face it: you know it’s true. Take a second; brush the sequins out of your eyes, pry the rose from between your teeth, turn down the Marvin Gaye on your Spotify and pull Cupid’s tiny, heart-shaped arrow out of your rear. I guarantee if you look around, you will see that Valentine’s Day is just a corporate holiday, designed and orchestrated by greedy business giants for the purpose of finessing the public out of their hard-earned money. As the origins of Valentine’s Day are still clouded with mystery, the only thing the public can be sure of come February 14 is that Valentine’s Day is a day set aside to celebrate love. Oh, but I should add, according to the society we live in you’re celebrating wrong if it doesn’t include a “break the bank” candlelit dinner, diamond jewellery and a ridiculous amount of roses. That’s right: Valentine’s Day is simply about spending money. Companies have managed to set apart a whole month in which they convince people to buy more stuff in order to have a successful relationship. They make you question if you really value your love, if those earrings don’t equal the down payment on an apartment. This whole media and marketing scheme around Valentine’s

EMILY ERNST/STAFF WRITER

Big corporations try to sell love to us on a silver platter and many of us buy into it, but how do we trulu show our love?

Day gifts and treats is sickening. I mean, come on people, give us a break! We just barely escaped the financial trauma of the Christmas holidays! If you’re a university kid, then you can bet your bottom dollar (or bottom penny in my case) that your pockets are still only filled with used Kleenex and lint. But hey, if you want to prove your love in a way that’s meaningful in today’s society, you must somehow scrape together the money for an extravagant gift. Who cares about tuition right? Yes, the day we empty our accounts of copious amounts of money just to prove to our signifi-

cant other that we actually do love them. Let’s be honest, everyone secretly hates it. If you claim you don’t, you’re either living in a Disney movie, you could comfortably buy a yacht, or you’re simply lying to yourself, or just trying to not to get left out of the festivities. Corporations have managed to take something so beautiful and sacred between two people and turn it into a consumerist plague, shared and spread amongst all who dare to feel for something other than a material product. Love is no longer a magical connection forged with another through trust, friendship, passion and affection, but an eight-way

abusive relationship between you, your significant other, Pandora, Lindor, Tiffany and Co., Brantford Blooms Florist, Hallmark and last-minute Shoppers Drug Mart chocolate. Maybe instead of wasting all this time and energy running around spending to satisfy the cold and corporate ideals of love, we could, heaven forbid, spend this February 14 (a normal day just like any other day) just being present with the one we care about. Our society is obsessed with the culture of love. We plaster it everywhere: on billboards, on t-shirts, in music, in commercials, in paintings.

It seems that no matter where you go, there is no escape from the media telling you how to feel and how to behave when it comes to love. This is ridiculous. Your feelings, emotions and relationships are yours and yours alone. They are complex and moving and as such should not be opened to dictation from something so removed as a corporation looking to make a quick buck out of sticking heart-shaped candies in a heart-shaped box. I say it is high time we as a society stop feeding into the idea that love needs to be expressed one day a year with chocolate and diamonds. Instead, we should recognize that love deserves to be celebrated every day and most importantly, in whatever way you see fit – even if that does mean expensive jewellery and heart-shaped truffles. My point is that at the end of the day, material goods will lose value, chocolates will be eaten and cut roses will wilt. All that corporate North America pushed for you to purchase to pronounce your love will last but a week. Valentine’s Day isn’t about love, it’s about how far in debt you’re willing to go for the person sitting across from you at your last-minute reservation at The Keg. The celebration of love needs no calendar date and has no set price tag. So why buy into it?

SEX

Keep your slut shaming to yourself

Everyone can be judgmental from time to time, but gossiping about your friend’s sex lives isn’t okay

AVERY MCISAAC OPINION EDITOR

Sex: a taboo topic that everyone seems to have an opinion about. I think it’s pretty obvious that everyone has their own experiences and preferences that influence their opinions on the topic, myself included. However, I think one of the more annoying aspects of sex is how judgmental everyone seems to be about it. I like to think of myself as a very open and accepting person, but I’m willing to admit there have been occasions where I was judgmental about other people’s sex lives. If you claim you’ve never judged someone based on their sexual encounters, you’re probably

ANUJ KAPAHI/GRAPHICS EDITOR

lying to yourself. Unfortunately, it’s part of human nature – to a point. Interestingly, a lot of the judgment I’ve experienced or witnessed has come from people who have little to no sexual experience. There is absolutely nothing wrong with not having as many sexual experiences as your friends or peers. It’s totally fine to not have any sexual experience. Coming from someone considered to be a bit of a late bloomer, being comfortable and doing things at your own pace is important. However, I do have a bone to pick with some of these people. Through my own experiences I’ve witnessed this strange power struggle between friends who have and haven’t had some sort

of sexual experience. I’ve found the more risqué or the higher the number of experiences, the more judgmental people become. A large number of people I know who have chosen not to have a sexual encounter seem to think they have some sort of leg up or see themselves as superior to those who are choosing to explore their sexuality.I’m not sure where this attitude stems from exactly, but slut shaming is alive and well in a lot of social circles. In an article written by Ashley Laderer for TalkSpace, she suggests that women slut shaming each other may stem from personal insecurities or jealousy. She also speaks to women who admit they’ve slut shamed other women. One participant said she

did it under the mask of concern to fit in with her other friends who were being judgmental. I think these insights can help to explain shaming others, but it definitely doesn’t excuse the behaviour. In my personal experiences, it’s always female friends judging other females. I feel like at this point it’s just unacceptable. So many women claim to want to lift each other up and support each other, but if a woman chooses to explore her sexuality and be open about it there are almost always negative comments. Sometimes it’s just a small comment about an experience a friend has had, and other times its straight up trash-talking people behind their backs. I’ve witnessed it all and it’s incredibly frustrating.

It’s 2019; can we just let people do what they want without being absolute jerks about it? Other people’s sexual encounters have no effect on anyone’s lives but the people involved. Caring about someone’s safety and health is one thing, but if you know the encounters are consensual and safe then any other input is completely irrelevant. Whether someone chooses to have sexual experiences with 50 people or no one at all, it doesn’t change who they are as a person and their right to be respected. If you’re the kind of person who feels entitled to make comments about what other people choose to do, I highly suggest you take some time to reflect as to why you care so much and just let people live.


Issuu converts static files into: digital portfolios, online yearbooks, online catalogs, digital photo albums and more. Sign up and create your flipbook.